WEBVTT - Thanksgiving Traditions and Etiquette 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:08.320 It was give was popping with your girl a Mada 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:11.840 and you're listening to Exactly a Mada, a production of 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:16.920 My Heart Radio one. I'm always late. I'm always trying 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:20.720 to find new topics, new things to talk about Thanksgiving me. 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.119 I'm in my house. I don't know how it is 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.200 in yours, but in my house, we don't do nothing. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:28.760 I really feel get Thanksgiving us more of a family, 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.800 you know, family thing, um, And I'm just saying I 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.000 don't have family that. But honestly, my mom immigrated here 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:38.279 to the United States by herself and her family has 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.360 become our friends. So we end up going to our 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:45.080 friend's house or whatever. But in Lakasa and we don't 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:47.960 do none of that. But I definitely want to know 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.000 how do you spend your holidays? How do you spend 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:53.440 your Thanksgiving? Go to exactly a Mada on Twitter and 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:56.040 on Instagram and let me know how do you spend 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:59.520 your holidays, especially Thanksgiving. But before I get into all 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.280 the detail sales of what thanks Giving means to me, 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:06.240 some memories that I've had when it comes to Thanksgiving, um, 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:09.440 and my real thoughts on you know, coming together as 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:13.240 a family and celebrating such an important Dame m because 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:19.200 when there's unity, there's force. I first want to bring 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:21.840 my producer as my guest, because last time we did 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:24.120 this together, we did such a great job and the 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.839 chemistry and the Bible was so good. He's always behind 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:28.640 the scene, but this time I want him to be 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:32.480 on the scene. So Alex was good, was popping. Thank 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.920 you so much for coming in today. No, don I'm 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:36.760 glad to be back here with you again. I think 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.880 that we did such a great job last time. Yeah, 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.320 I'm glad you brought me back. Guess you wanted me 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.320 to in your house better. Um, how do you spend 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:50.080 your holidays? Well, now, Thanksgiving? Because Thanksgiving and benevery everything 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:52.640 else fault you know, comes into play. But Thanksgiving, how 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.040 do you celebrate it at home? Well, I'm glad you 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:57.120 brought that up, because you know what I think. Every year, 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:59.920 earlier and earlier, people start putting out Christmas decorations right 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.320 like it's crazy. You go to the stores everywhere is 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:07.160 like Christmas is the very first right after Halloween, everybody 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.440 starts putting Christmas things up. I know. Yeah. So um, 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:12.400 as far as for me, like from what I remember 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:16.120 as a kid growing up, like, Um, I lived in 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.520 Puerto Rico on top I was eight years old, So 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.120 I don't think we we celebrate I can't remember that 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.960 far back, unfortunately, but I don't think we um really 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:27.240 celebrated anything on the island with Thanksgiving. I mean we 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.720 had parties, right because living down there in the island, 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.760 you had parties for the entirety of the holiday season. 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.799 But UM, I do remember coming back here to the 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:39.360 United States, uh, to live. That's when things really started 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:41.840 like kicking for me and remembering like my earliest you 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.600 know memory of all this was going to my cousin's house, 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.680 um and having everyone come over and being like who 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:50.799 are these people? Right? Like I just came here to 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.360 the States. I don't know who anybody is. But it 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:55.600 was a good way for me to kind of get 0:02:56.280 --> 0:03:00.000 into the whole and in the way this country celebrates 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:04.480 it right with food and and everything. It's it's really remarkable. 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.639 So yeah, so that was that was like my earliest, 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:10.919 uh memory. Did you ever like as a kid growing up, 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:13.720 did you go to people's houses? Did you did you 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.120 did your mom ever do anything at home or was 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:19.760 it just completely skipped over? My mom was my mom 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.120 was always working during the holidays because my mom used 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:26.760 to work, and it's these places where like it's very 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.880 it's very worn amongst the Latino community. But they sell 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:33.160 the food by the pound. So my mom for the holidays, 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.120 she used to have to cook, you know, for everybody 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.360 else they wanted to come to the store and take 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:40.760 food for home. So I remember just being in the 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.160 kitchen with her until like the next day. She would 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:46.400 literally not sleep, she would be there cooking for so long. 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.080 The holidays never really was a thing for me, And 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:52.040 I almost feel like Thanksgiving to me, it should really 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:59.160 be about coming together the family. Let's share, you know, memories. 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:00.880 I mean, at least that's how we want to do 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.080 with my family. But let's share memories. So what that goes? 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:07.400 And to me, it's like Thanksgiving us about the food. 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:10.080 Everybody wants to come to your house accoman. I don't 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:14.840 have like the most positive outlook when it comes to 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:19.560 certain holidays. Um and then I don't know, I'm not 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:26.040 trying to be stingy batom. I feel like, I mean, 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.080 if you go to somebody's house, I just feel like 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:33.000 rules and regulations are jew don't come here empty handed. 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:36.680 They just gonna and your mouth ready to eat. Now, 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:47.960 if you go to somebody's house, you know Hugo takes 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:51.240 something better. Don't just show up to people's house. They 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:55.159 get ready to eat and you want to take you 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:56.680 want to take to your house for the next three 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.039 or four days. No, no, you have to have some 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:04.360 you know, that's the important when you talk about the protocoloclo, 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.000 the etiquette when it comes to going to somebody else's 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.760 house for the holidays. One, let's get to it. What 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:16.240 if you're bringing kids and I'm getting ready for mind 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.520 and I already have my speech together. If you you 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.640 better not act like you're hungry. You're better ask for anything. 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:25.040 You better stitch your ass down roof. So you're just 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.960 like when my mom when I would go, when I 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:31.120 would go to the to my parents, to my family's house, 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:37.560 even my aunts and uncle's, they'd be like, oh, yeah, no, 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:44.039 if you need to use the bathroom exactly, because then 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.640 it'll be like you ain't got no damn manners, and 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:49.360 then you'll be eating. Okay, you never see no food 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.600 in your house. You starting it because everybody got to 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:54.760 be like, damn you bad parents. Your kid comes over 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:58.200 here hungry as hell, tearry everything up Amida seeing that 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:01.560 they don't touch nothing east and then you squeeze your 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.240 lips like this and you look at if I'll see you, 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:10.400 just so I get your kids together. Practice that, don't touch, 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:15.200 don't ask for nothing, speech at home. That's one two. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.440 If you're gonna be there, you know. Another thing, it's 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:24.520 not just don't touch anything, but that's because if you're 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.960 going to somebody else's house, you would have a good time. 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:29.280 It is your duty as a parent to make sure 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:31.440 you have your kids under control. Nobody else should be 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:35.159 babysitting your kid. I don't care who it is. You know, 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.320 everybody's trying to have a good time and celebrate. So 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:42.960 that's important. See if stella. Another thing, no say DNA, 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.719 don't don't I know, get handed that you eat with 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:47.960 your eyes and don't say you get to play and 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:51.279 you just get you and you just stuff. You're playing 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.960 full of stuff, get it, you don't get to eat it, 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:56.760 and then you throw it away as hope. That is 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:58.680 so that is so messed up to have to throw 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.320 the food away. Get didn't know, get a small portion, 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:03.560 get what you're gonna eat, and if you want seconds 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:05.920 get yoursse up and get a little bit more. But 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:09.600 I don't throw away the food. Oh something my parents 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:12.800 also taught me. Yeah. Yeah. Another thing if you if 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:14.800 you're gonna go to somebody else, like I said before, 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:25.320 no stop at the supermarket and just get something or ask, right, 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:28.000 because that's not That's another thing, Mina. I'm gonna go 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:29.680 to your house, but you like me to take something. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:31.880 For the most part, they're gonna be like, oh no, no no, no, 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.440 don't bring anything. But if you bring it, they're gonna 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:44.880 take it. So if you don't know what to take, 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:47.920 you can always take dessert. You can't go wrong with 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:54.200 that day that you apple pie umbo, whatever brings something 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:57.720 that's out of courtesy, especially if you're thinking of taking food. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.280 Another thing, don't go into people's house with a damn 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:04.560 plastic container from your car. They can let me get 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.000 the container from my car so I can take some 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:11.440 leftovers to my house. Don't don't do that. That's so 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:14.440 messed up. Do you have any any etiquete or any 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:18.080 rules and regulations not to break? Yeah? So, um, that 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.400 was number one. My father was a cook in Puerto 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:23.720 Rico right for many years before we moved out. Here 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:27.200 and he always wanted to make the pin. Always always 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.360 like we didn't we didn't eat. Yeah, we had turkey, 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:30.920 but it was like a minimal amount. But we would 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.520 also bring the pnin just in case. And that was 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.680 one thing he would always say, like, I'm gonna bring something. 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.600 And my aunt we would always go to house shout 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:44.160 out and um, she would go and obviously her oven 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.000 would be full of making everything else right, So we would, 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:50.280 you know, all take our pieces of what we wanted 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:55.959 to whether it be or whatever, we would make it. 0:08:56.120 --> 0:09:00.080 And always every year until I left my home to 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.679 to go to the Marines, we would always bring something, 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:08.240 no matter what, you know, whatever flying you know. Yeah, 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:11.280 So that for me now is a grown up that's 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.320 instilled in me. So any time I go to my 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:17.120 parents house or anyone's house that I end up going to, 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.280 we either bring some type of of dessert, we bring 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.240 some time, you know, like you said, you know, you 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.160 bring that with you. Um. And as of late, now 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.040 that I'm older and i'm you know, thinking back about 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:31.439 when my parents were my age, that right now, that 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:34.120 coquito you make your own coquito, you bring it in 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.080 as asked, that special drink you know, for everyone. So yeah, 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.800 so I have my My two daughters were the same way. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.000 I would. We would go to my parents house when 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.520 I was groing up because I was divorced, so I 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:46.360 would take my daughters with me and I'd be the 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.560 same to hey, listen, if you guys want anything, you asked. Now. 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.160 I wasn't as strict as my parents with me, right 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:54.600 like if I hear you breathe, we're leaving, you know, 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:58.080 but yeah, but I would. I would grant them, you know, 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.760 the ability, and you know this is the thing, and 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:02.679 your mom's gonna do it, so get ready for this. 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:08.600 Uh once their grandparents, whatever rules you had will never 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:13.160 apply to that kid or in yours two kids, you know, 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.080 so you gotta gotta get ready because they're gonna be spoiled. 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:18.560 That's crazy because my mom used to beat my ass, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.520 and I remember I used to go to my room 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:23.880 and be like you fucking and I would just hit 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.960 everything and I would just be like, you know what, 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.199 Oh my god, I can't when you go to sleep, 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.200 I'm gonna wake up and you're gonna I'm not gonna 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.160 be here. And I would get my book bag and 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.240 I would stuff closed in there and everything, and I 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:37.360 would just stand behind the door like just watch, and 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:40.320 then I would I would literally like try to leave 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:43.440 and then bring my ass right back home. So, you know, 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.360 there was a lot of things that I did that 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.960 I think that my my kids are obviously probably gonna 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.640 do it to me because the saco repeats. But I 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:54.040 told my mom, Mommy, well, this is just changing topics 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.520 real quick. But do you think that when I have 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.080 my kids, um, you're going to spank them? And I 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:03.160 spank them beat them? Asked spanking I don't know about 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:12.200 and she was like no, because you beat the hell 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:15.000 out of me. I still got scars in my legs. Yo, 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:16.880 you baby, someone that I even turned out to be 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.840 an artist. And I'm like saying no to violence because 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:23.160 I'm not saying they get a child abuse so bad, 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:28.000 don't Sometimes talking doesn't work. Every parent has their own method. 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:30.160 By the way, we should do a show about that. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.520 But every parent has their own method. I parents use. 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.280 Some of them used to use the belt, the hangar, 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:42.920 the branch whatever from the tree. Everybody had their own 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.360 thing and things work differently for you know, I'm gonna 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:49.000 take your eye part away or whatever. I personally think 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:52.880 that after you say things two times, you're three, that's 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.360 an automatic. I'm gonna beat your ass. That's it. Like, 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:59.040 that's it. It's like it's like when you're driving and 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.559 you get a warning. After that you get a ticket. 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:04.760 So it's like I've already warned you, and I warned 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.559 you about what's gonna happen. So that's it. But with 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.120 that being said, you know who deserves to get some 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.040 ass beats too. Anybody that goes to your house with 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.760 Thanksgiving and gets drunk, your ass needs to get a 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:20.360 whooping me that we're not doing that. Don't go into somebody. 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.360 I know that you get excited. I know that you 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:28.520 get happy. I know I get that part. Beat Obama 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.520 with your mouth. If you already know that you're feeling 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.040 a little sassy, you're feel little saucy. They wore they 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:41.160 want to drinks. Three drinks for drinks. Yeah, yeah, that 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:43.400 way on. Where are we going? Where we gotta go 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.200 all the way over there. Keep it keep it nice, 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:49.079 keep it juicy, keep it light. And another thing that's 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:53.839 very important also is that during the holidays, we also 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.199 know that a lot of people have accidents, you know, 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.280 and we want to prevent everybody from No, don't drink 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.559 and drive. I know you've already heard this a thousand times. 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.560 You're still gonna do whatever you want, but at least 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.240 I told you don't do it. Drink enough to feel good, 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.160 to feel nice, and even after you're drinking. If you 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.760 feel that you need to stay at this person's house, 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.960 stay and if for any of to what reason they 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:23.360 don't let you stay in their house, stay in your Carntana, 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:29.880 get in your car, take your seat back and just chill, relax, 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.040 chill till you feel good. If you know, if you're 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:36.360 intuition tells you you know. I ate too much. I've 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.920 been drinking too much. I had way too much fun. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:44.240 I'm tired, be tired. That's it. Don't go anywhere because 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.680 and and not only that, the drinking and driving better 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.920 the pup pos. The puppos know what time it is 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.599 and they is ready outside in the streets, ready to 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:59.599 give you all that ticket. So I get control that 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.520 I'm being as goes for the family members. If you 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.400 have any friends, time being that you know you see 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.640 your friend getting a little bit late. I feel I 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.720 may be wrong. It is your responsibility as a friend 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.600 or as a family member, have you see somebody doing 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:17.080 too much? I don't just watch them drinking, going crazy 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:18.679 and not say anything. And you see them get in 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:20.400 the car and you're like, okay, we'll see you tomorrow. 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.800 Say something, because then God forbids something goes wrong, you're 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:27.040 gonna feel so guilty and so responsible. Right. And it's 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.800 always this time of the year that the most accidents happened, 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:33.000 and and it's proven that they usually happened after holiday 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.960 parties or holiday events. And just like you mentioned that 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:37.960 my uncle loved to drink. He had his course light 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:41.320 every Friday after work, had this little course light. Um, 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:44.000 and you knew my uncle was feeling uh, you know 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:49.200 great when came on boy your boy, you know when 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:51.040 he would turn on that chat that he knew he 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.280 was already saucy, you know. And that's one thing. You're 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:55.520 the host, you know, you're you're at home. But he 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.160 was also had the right mind to know that if 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:01.520 he was feeling good, possible other family members were filling 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.520 saucy as well. And there was always an inflatable couch. 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.000 There was always a room to give away if need 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.080 be right. Um, there was always a couch to sleep on. 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.400 It didn't matter. And that was one thing that we 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.360 did a lot. We my cousins would were living by 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.320 Coney Island in Brooklyn and I live in Jersey, so 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:20.920 we knew that, you know, traveling that late at night, 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.680 knowing that people were also in the road, perhaps drinking. 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.160 My uncle would say, hey, you know you're staying here, 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.000 make sure you pack a bag. So we did that 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:31.560 for many years where we would stay by them until 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:34.920 they moved to Jersey. And even then we still you know, 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:36.880 even though we lived like ten blocks away, we would 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.200 still just stay over the night or whatever, you know, 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:41.000 and it was it was great. I do have a 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:44.680 question for you, though, did you guys um ever have 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:46.960 you said you went even as a younger, you guys 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.240 went to other people's houses. Yeah, I would go to 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:52.680 other people's houses. Not everything's giving because for the most part, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.640 you know, whether it is that when I was younger, 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:56.760 my mom was the one working, and then as an adult, 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.480 it's funny how unconsciously you repeat the psyche. Then it 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:04.440 wasn't like a thing for me to like Thanksgiving, Christmas. 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:06.960 None of those things have ever been a thing to me. 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.480 I don't really it sounds messed up, but I don't 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.640 really care too much for it. I'm like, is there work? 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.640 Is there a show? Can I be on stage? Is 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.480 there a radio show? What am I doing? I feel like, 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:19.640 you know, the holidays, it is time for you to work, 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:21.720 and it's like, you know the rest of the time. 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.480 But even like last year. Last year, I was on 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:26.440 stage with people. I was on stage with a whole 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.480 bunch of big artists. It was a huge concert here 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:32.600 at Bayside, Miami, and it was New Year's and everybody 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:36.200 was with their families and the grains. And to me, 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.480 I was like, I'm over here rehearsing with my dancers, 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:42.440 getting my show together. So it hasn't really been a 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.200 thing to me. Battle I always did, you know, try 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.360 if I could to go to somebody's house just for 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.000 the food. Really, do you feel you want to change 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:51.560 that for your for your kids? Do you feel like 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.120 you want to start your own traditions and something moving 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:56.240 forward to they can they can have that as well. 0:16:56.320 --> 0:17:00.400 It is so weird, but all of a sudden, since 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.880 I've had this motherly instinct thing happening inside of me 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.800 or whatever, now I'm thinking like, oh mother, Now I'm 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.359 thinking like my mom, and I'm like, what the hell. 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.399 So yes, I'm thinking about like, oh, you know I 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:16.200 want to give them is I want to give them 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:18.359 things that they can pass down to their kids and 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:19.920 be like, oh no, my mom gave this to me. 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.280 So all those things that I couldn't do, I want to. 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.840 I'm such a workaholic. It's like to me, it's like 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:30.240 I work sometimes even sometimes to do this podcast. I'd 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:31.840 be caught up like, oh my god, I'm doing so 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.760 many things. But at the same time, now that I 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:36.920 have kids coming on the way, I feel like I 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.639 want to make time for them. I want to be 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:44.119 able to say no, these days I don't work because 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:46.480 I want to be able to give them that time. 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:49.600 So definitely, I want to change, you know, change the 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:54.160 traditions of not celebrating things giving or Christmas and doing 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:56.639 it and showing them that this is a time for 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.080 us to come together as a family and doing all 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:02.000 those things that I never got to do. So most definitely, 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.840 and I want to create my own traditions too. There's 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.159 things that for example, um, I don't know, you can 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:11.439 come up with you can come up with something that's different, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.040 that's special, that no one has done in your family, 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:18.159 but it stays amongst you guys, and they'll always have 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:20.520 those memories like, oh my god, I remember what my 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:22.440 dad used to do this La da da da, And 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.000 you know it's new, it's different. You could just come 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:27.160 up with it. It could be the smallest little thing, 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:29.960 but what seems small to you will be big to 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.879 them that they will always remember, like, damn, I remember 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.240 you used to do this, you know, so I definitely 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:37.560 want to create those memories for them. And I think 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:39.400 most I think most of it for you, a madam, 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:41.320 might be coming from the fact that your mom did work. 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.399 Your mom had to work. Your mom was trying to 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.280 provide for the family. Was very It wasn't very easy 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:49.320 for her to come by right, to have to build 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:51.680 those traditions. But she was still trying to give you 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:54.160 that time even though she had to work, right, because 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.439 you are now, you know, you're very fortunate to now 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.159 to be able to care for your mom right and 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.400 give her, give her those ting I'm about to try 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:03.080 to take your hands back to work, but I hear 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:10.719 you thanksgiving to work. It's tough about here in the streets. 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.040 I got too many damn bills and I got two kids. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:17.000 Hell but yeah, so so I think for you now 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.639 as you you're right, it's a mother intuition, right, And 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.719 for me I was I got married very young. Um, 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:25.600 and you know I had my kids very young. So 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.119 which is right? By the way, I almost feel like 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:31.399 I wish it depends And I'm gonna ask you this too. 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:33.720 I do not even in and we'll talk about this 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.880 data too, and this is another episode. But um, when 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:39.720 when you have kids earlier, I almost feel like you 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:43.280 mature faster and then you get to enjoy your kids. 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:47.480 Your kids are growing up with you, you get to 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.520 enjoy them. But then, so those are the benefits, but 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.240 there's a lot of things you don't get to experience, 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:53.480 and a lot of things you don't get to live. 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:54.920 There's a lot of things you have to like cut off. 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:56.760 But then when you get older, it's like, Okay, I 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:58.280 already live my life. Now I want to have my kids, 0:19:58.320 --> 0:19:59.960 and it's like, yeah, but now I'm old and I'm tired. 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.240 Anybody got time for that? Um? You know, how do 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.040 you feel that the holidays have been for you since 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:09.800 since you actually had your kids early? Yeah? So, um, 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:13.480 obviously I had a great Um, you know family upbringing, 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:15.119 with the with the events and stuff like that. And 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:16.800 you know there was times that my dad was a 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:18.840 truck driver, so yes there was times he had to work, 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:21.520 but um he would try to get off early, and 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:25.600 you know we could do the trans the Thanksgiving traditions 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:29.760 and whatever. But yeah, so once I had my kids, um, 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:34.360 I I kind of like instilled all those things into them, right. 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:36.600 I passed it down like this is what we did, 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:40.320 this is how we grew up and do. Once I 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:45.080 got divorced, um, you know, you you do the separates, right, 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.159 so you now there's two thanksgivings and to what whatnot? 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:52.960 So I did my best to give them as much 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:56.280 of me as possible. So like Thanksgivings will be would 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.560 be split. Right. They would do early with their mom, 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:02.720 late with me. But I still give them the traditions 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:07.440