WEBVTT - Anthony Bourdain: Junk, Romance, and a Lust for Life 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.440 This episode contains content that may be disturbing to some listeners. 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:08.559 Please check the show notes for more information. Disgraceland as 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:28.560 a production of Double Elvis. The stories about Anthony Bourdain 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:34.120 are insane. As a struggling cook and writer, he chased 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:37.559 the romance of a heroin addiction through the restaurant kitchens 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:42.599 and grimy rock clubs of nineteen eighties Manhattan. He published 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.600 his first book of nonfiction at the age of forty 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:50.720 three and became an overnight success. He parlayed success as 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:54.520 a writer into success as a TV host, traveling all 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.760 over the world, dining with rock stars, presidents, and everyone 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:03.560 in between. He dodged bullets, the real and figurative kind, 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.120 the figurative kind from the tabloids having the most impact, 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:13.040 and through it all, Anthony Bourdain made great art. Nothing 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.000 like that cheesy loop I played for you at the 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:18.840 top of the show. That was not great art. That 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:22.559 was a preset loop for my Melotron called high Steak 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:28.160 Steakout MK two. I played you that loop because I 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:32.160 can't afford the rights to Maria Maria by Santana featuring 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:36.120 the product GMB And why would I play you that 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.840 specific slice of nylon stringed Spanish Harlem Cheese. Could I 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:45.120 afford it? Because that was the number one song in 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:49.600 America On May twenty second, two thousand and that was 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:54.640 the day Anthony Bourdain published Kitchen Confidential, forever changing his 0:01:54.760 --> 0:02:01.000 life and enriching hours. On this episode, Chase Heroin through 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:06.160 Lower Manhattan, an overnight's success beers with the President, an 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:12.240 insatiable lust for life in Anthony Bourdain, I'm Jake Brennan, 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:41.480 and this this Disgraceland, Chapter one, the Not So Blushing Bride, Provincetown, Massachusetts. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:45.880 The edge of the world, some might say, the beginning 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.600 of my world. At least that's what they'll say when 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:53.720 I'm dead, when all the dust is settled, when the 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:57.520 tabs have lost interest, and when the truly curious are 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.880 still hanging around to pick through the remains of what 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:04.200 once was, if not a perfect life, a damn interesting 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:09.000 one in Peetown, as they call it. The point isn't 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.040 to lose oneself on the edge of nowhere, but to 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:16.040 find yourself, or perhaps to find who you might one 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:20.520 day become. Wait a minute, hold up, hold up, this 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.960 is not this. This is something else. This is this. 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:28.760 Bobby was giving it to the bride from behind like 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:32.760 a drunken pirate. She panted in delight. She was bent 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:36.640 over a fifty five gallon drummer cooking grease, and Bobby's 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.360 apron was pulled up over his belly. His pants were 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:43.520 down around his ankles. Her white wedding gown somehow still 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.880 looked pure under the provincetown moonlight. Myself and the other 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.320 dishwasher and the cooks howled up the moon from the 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:53.600 back door of the kitchen, egging on Bobby, our head 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:57.760 chef here at the dreadnought inside the dining room at 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:01.400 the bride's wedding reception, neither her, her assembled family nor 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.920 her newly wet husband had any idea what was happening 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:11.400 out back with the kitchen staff. That was Anthony Bourdain's 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.680 secret weapon. Most of the world had no idea what 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:18.039 was happening out back with the kitchen staff. He used 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.960 that secret knowledge to carve out a writing career unlike 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:25.560 any other, beginning with his debut work of nonfiction Kitchen Confidential, 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:29.760 published in two thousand, which became an instant smash hit 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:34.440 and transformed Anthony's life overnight. From Capable Chef in a 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.880 good not great Manhattan restaurant to a New York Times 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:43.520 bestseller and in demand media Darling anecdotes like the aforementioned 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:47.560 not So Blushing Bride, of course, an anecdote that Anthony 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.720 Bourdain claims made him want to be a chef, had 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:55.920 a lot to do with the book's success. Anthony, or 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:00.279 Tony as his friends called him, approached his subject food 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:02.760 and the culture of chefs and the people who made 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:07.000 kitchens run like his hero Iggy pop godfather of punk, 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:11.600 approached his own subject, rock and roll, with a potent 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:17.240 mix of danger, truth and charisma. At times, it seemed 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:21.080 like danger was the point. Danger was where the action was. 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:25.920 Give me danger, a little stranger, food or making. It 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:29.600 wasn't merely a job or a profession. It was just 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:33.200 like rock and roll, a lifestyle. And for guys like 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:37.760 Tony boardin The Journeyman, the back of house pirates, the 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:41.559 guys who steered ships of twenty or more staff, many 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:45.640 of them alcoholics, drug addicts, ex cons, immigrants, both legal 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:50.960 and illegal, it was a romantic lifestyle. Ask any writer 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:53.400 and they'll tell you that romance can be a great 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:58.200 tool for storytelling. That goes for works of nonfiction and 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:02.080 for three coord punk. Was Tony's story about the pe 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:05.080 Town bride who was defiled on our wedding night? True? 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.680 Or was it just a way of romanticizing his backstory? 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:12.440 Who cares? There's a great story? Was I Want to 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:17.280 be Your Dog? True? Who cares? It's a great song? Truth? 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:23.040 Isn't the point? Storytelling is the point. Creating is the point, 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:26.880 and to create is to love, to bring love into 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:31.080 the world, which Anthony Bourdin most certainly did with his writing. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:37.240 The love he inspired brought him unimaginable success, success that 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.800 eventually led him to standing on a beach with his hero, 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:43.880 Iggy Pop. In twenty fifteen, more than a decade after 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.599 that story about the bride was published, Tony asks Iggy 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.080 Pop what his definition of a perfect day is, and 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:56.040 Iggy goes on to describe his perfect day. It involves 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:59.680 a beach, the big Florida sun sparkling on the ocean. 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:03.720 In the positivity one can derive from such an experience, 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:08.760 particularly when it's spent with a loved one, that's a 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.760 far cry from what one would expect from a man 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:14.360 who once proclaimed to the world that he was a 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.880 street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalon and 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:23.640 Anthony Bourdain looks bewildered by his hero's answer, because Iggy 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:27.800 Pop gave Anthony Bourdin the truth, and the truth is 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:34.440 hard for a romantic to come to terms with. Throughout 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:38.440 twentieth century American culture, the concept of the junkie has 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:43.160 been thoroughly romanticized, from Miles Davis to William S Burrows 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.720 to Iggy Pop and Kurt Cobaine for a certain type 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:51.000 of subversive leaning, literary minded, rock and roll bent, transgressive 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:54.600 dudes who may be paid a little too much attention 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:57.760 to Lou Reed's lyrics. Dudes who were always first in 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:00.160 line to do whatever new drugs showed up to the 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:04.880 party last, who were always taking more, doing less, aspiring 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:09.760 to little. To these dudes, Heroin wasn't something to be avoided. 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:19.080 Heroin or junk was something to aspire to. Nineteen eighty, 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:22.920 young Tony Vordain didn't know who exactly he was looking for, 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.520 but he knew what he wanted. He and a friend 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:30.400 slowly cruised Second Avenue and a beat up Volkswagen Rabbit. 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:35.319 The Manhattan street was dark, near dead at this hour, 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.240 and the two white boys were hunting for dope, or 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:45.400 more specifically, hunting for a dope dealer, actually a dope dealership. 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:49.440 In those days, dealers didn't text you on a Friday 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:51.120 to see if you were set for the weekend and 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:53.760 then run the small baggie of brown up to your 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:57.680 apartment via bike messenger. No, and in those days, in 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.480 the batt old days, you had to swipe your sh sharpest, 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:03.679 stealthiest knife from the kitchen, concealed it in an item 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.760 of clothing that wouldn't result in you stabbing yourself, and 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:09.160 head into the part of town that took no prisoners 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:14.040 and produced only casualties, New York's Lower East Side, looking 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:17.920 for a fix, just like Iggy Pop, just like Lou Reed, 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.080 and just like Johnny Thunders. And you weren't on the 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.840 lookout for some pimp and a big straw hat standing 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.520 on the corner either. You were looking for a hole 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.320 in the wall the size of a Dodge Challenger, A 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:32.559 hole in the wall that looked about as inviting as 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.480 a den of hungry wolves. A hole in the wall 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:40.840 that served up one thing heroin. Even cops didn't fuck 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:45.600 with places like these, but you did because you were different. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.960 You weren't like those other guys, those pajama boys back 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:53.040 at Vassa, or the snobs back at CIA, the Culinary 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:56.240 Institute of America upstate, where you learned a lot, but 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:58.920 nothing as important as how to keep your knife sharp 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:03.160 and your witch sharper. The snobs and the pajama boys 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:06.559 had a lot in common. For one, there were fucking philistines, 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.160 and they couldn't tell you the difference between George Orwell 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:13.400 or Orville Redenbacher. And they had no fucking heart either. 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:18.440 You had heart. The Vassar boys, your classmates at CIA, 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.480 they'd never know the thrill of scoring in a seedy 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:25.160 Lower east Side drug den like you did. And they'd 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.720 never know the complication of having to score a heroine 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:32.400 between staff meal and the first rush, either unnecessary challenge 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.199 your junkie ass now to solve every night to keep 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.000 from puking all over the entrees as they flew off 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:41.480 the line. Yet you figured it out because it was 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.400 the early eighties, and yeah, other than a new heroin 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.160 habit and a shitty job, you took an outsized amount 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:51.560 of pride in you had little, but you were Anthony 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:56.280 fucking Bourdaine. And the one thing you did have was 0:10:56.320 --> 0:11:25.640 a lust for life. Chapter two, Nancy with the laughing face. 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:32.040 The heart of Manhattan beats from the working class bus 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:37.120 drivers and bus boys, working stiffs and waitresses, bartenders pouring 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.640 punch out cold ones to stiff up her lips, Taxi 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:44.880 drivers and doormen with more information than you need daily 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:51.440 rag scribes and night watchmen, cops, construction workers, dealers too. 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.240 And if you're not careful, you'll get caught up in 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:56.520 the grind and miss the beauty of the sweat and 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.679 the hustle, lose it all to the bustling sound of 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.360 the lone in some streets, wake up in a midtown 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:04.319 high rise with a mortgage and a wife and a 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.480 kid in a separate apartment. But if you keep your 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:11.040 ears open each night, you'll hear the sound of the 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.959 mission bell, that universal sign that it's time to blow 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:19.480 off steam, quitting time that when you're too tired to 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.440 think and too wired to go home, this is the 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:26.120 time when you're reminded of your station in life, reminded 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:29.040 of where you're supposed to be, Bellied up to the 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:32.240 bar with the rest of your kind, cursing your boss's 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:36.080 greed and your customer's stupidity toasting your coworkers on a 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.800 job well done, fairly ready for a four hour crash 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:43.679 and inevitable hangover, and unspoken gratitude for the fact that 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.600 you get to get up too early, too sore, and 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:49.640 too smart to know any better, so that you, my friend, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:53.199 can go back to work and do it all over again. 0:12:56.880 --> 0:13:00.280 To an outsider, the kitchen during the nightly rush looked 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.319 and sounded like chaos, But you've got it all under control. Sure, 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.160 the slips are firing in mouie rapido signor, and the 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.520 floor staff looks haggard and scared, and the dishwasher's gone 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.880 on one of his midshift sabbaticals in the back alley, 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:14.800 and the sioux chef may have just quit, or he 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.440 may just be in the can with explosive diarrhea, and 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:19.800 no one will acknowledge that the phone has been ringing 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.400 unanswered for what you swear to God, has been all 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.959 frigging night long, and the owner just decided that right 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.160 fucking now, of all times is the time to pop 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.680 in to bust your balls in front of his investors. Yes, 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:31.640 that all may be happening at the moment, and it 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.880 might spell chaos for the uninitiated civilian looking in on 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.640 your kitchen. But you're no civilian. You're a professional chef, 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.480 or at least a very capable cook, And this is 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:44.400 your kitchen, even if you don't want a piece, even 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.920 if you're fighting a daily heroin jones, even if you're 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:49.360 a functioning alcoholic, even if you haven't seen your new 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.480 wife in the daylight in six weeks, and even if 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.000 you can't speak Spanish yet that's all that most of 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.480 your employees speak. Even if your fish guy went on 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:58.880 the lamb and your meat guy is at returning your calls. 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.760 None of this, Matt, because you thrive in this chaos. 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:07.440 In fact, this isn't chaos at all. This to you, 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:12.760 for some unexplained reason, makes sense. It's organized, at least 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:16.160 to you, it is. You know your way around these challenges. 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.520 You and you alone know how to solve these problems. 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.840 But these are the only problems you know how to solve. 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:29.840 Kitchen problems. Outside the kitchen, that's chaos. You haven't paid 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:33.640 your rent on time. Well ever, you're perpetually three months 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:36.760 behind and dodging your landlord. The creditors are after you, 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.760 and the taxman looms you haven't been to a doctor 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:41.920 for a preemptive checkout for what seems to be your 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:44.920 entire adult life, and you're barreling toward middle aged with 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.160 a needle hanging out of your arm during a time 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.280 in history when intravenous drug use can spell instant death. 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:53.720 It's July in your Christmas tree is still standing in 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.560 the corner of your apartment, deader than Vince Geralde and 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.960 twice as pathetic as Charlie Brown. You and your wife 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.480 if Nancy, are too ashamed to even bring it down 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.280 to the corner for the trash man to pick up, 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:06.560 for fear of what your neighbors might think. You have 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:10.280 next to no social life. You subsist on Deli sandwiches 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.840 and Simpson's reruns. Life as you live it is barely 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:17.200 any life at all. But work is where you thrived, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:25.440 and after work is when you come alive. The sun ruled, 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.800 the sun came on the beach, crashed out, tanning away, 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:33.080 the heroin power asleep in the sand in the late morning. 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.720 Hours before that, it was the train out to Rockaway, 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.760 nodding out, having finished the last of your smack, freaking out. 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:44.240 The civilians on their early morning rush hour Commute Club 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.760 fifty seven, the Mud Club CBGB, wherever junkie guitar players 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:52.560 reigned supreme on stage. You were there, passed the line 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.640 of pedestrians to the sympathetic door man who'd been bribed 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:59.360 with steak sandwiches from your kitchen, the kitchen you'd closed 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.160 hours ago. You hit the bar after closing with a 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:05.560 couple employees. Someone thought ninety six tiers by question Mark 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.120 and the Mysterious was a good idea, and they were right. 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.600 It blasted from the jukebox, A fat line of coke 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.480 was laid out on said bar along the length of 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:18.400 the entire bar. The adult portion of the evening was 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:21.880 now in full effect, commenced by you mounting the bar, 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.240 getting down on all fours, and hoovering as much of 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.800 that long line of blow as your aching heart would allow. 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.600 You needed the bump, something to come back from the 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.080 weakness brought on by the illicit rendezvous in the dry 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.920 goods area with the cute waitress. Hey, it happened, so what. 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.200 You don't know how it got started. It just did 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:41.720 sort of like this night. It just got started, sort 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:45.520 of like all the nights you scammed. You sprinted You 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:49.200 ran hard and fast, hard and fast, away from yourself, 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:52.120 until finally you ended up right back where you started 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:59.280 in the kitchen, unless, of course, it was a day off. 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.680 Then you couldn't run away. You couldn't hide from yourself 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.879 or from what you'd become a junkie. When there was 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.600 nowhere left to go, and no more drugs left to do, 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.960 no shifts to pick up, you found yourself where you 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:18.000 feared you would inevitably end up alone. Not even your 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:21.080 junkie wife could help. She was nodding off on her 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.679 own trip. So it was just you, just you in 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:33.359 the deep, dark, dirty mirror, alone at rock bottom. Fuck 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:38.200 this cold turkey. You kicked no twelve steps, no self 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:42.639 help goers, no meetings, hardcore like the man said, except 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.800 in the other direction. You used methodone to wean off. 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.840 But your biggest weapon was your lust for life. You 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:51.880 turned that junkie appetite around and gobbled up whatever life 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.600 had left to give you. You were still a young man 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.320 and there was still a life to be had. You 0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:01.080 went from lime cook to chef layout like you. It 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:05.119 wasn't great, it was good, good enough. You worked that 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:08.119 restaurant hard and fed that yearning to be something else, 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:13.640 something more, something better. After hours under your typewriter, you 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:18.480 wrote two crime novels, Bone and Throat and Gone Bamboo. 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.720 The critics pretty much said the same thing, that both 0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:25.080 books were like the restaurant, you ran good, not great. 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:29.080 You kept going because what else were you going to do? 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:32.480 Moving forward was all you'd ever done in this life. 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:35.119 You worked even harder, kept that kitchen humming, and you 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:39.840 continued to write. Writing replaced junk. You couldn't not write. 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.320 It was the first thing you did every morning. Well 0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:44.119 it was the second thing. Actually, the first thing you 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:46.800 did was smoke a cigarette. Then you wrote, before even 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:50.280 brushing your teeth, before kissing your wife Nancy, before taking 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:53.680 a shit, you wrote what you knew now. Sally the 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.280 Wig and chef Tommy were fond and all, but who 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.440 are you kidding? You weren't Don DeLillo. You were Raoul 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:03.920 Duke Chef's whites. And this new writing was fresh because 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.919 it was desperate. It was all you had left. It 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:11.000 was a junkie move all in. No bullshit, Okay, a 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.159 little bullshit like the bit about fish on Monday and 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.640 perhaps the Provincetown Bride over the Barrel. But I digress 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.399 you sent a couple thousand words into The New Yorker. 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.240 David Remnick wouldn't give you the time of day until 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.000 your mom. Your mom used a connection to get him 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.880 to read it. How uncool is that, having to get 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.320 your mom to help you get published? But what did 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.159 you care? Lou Reid moved back in with his parents 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:35.439 after he was in the Velvet Underground and went to 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:39.520 work for his dad's accounting firm again. After he was 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.919 in the Velvet Underground. Things weren't yet that bad for you, 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:51.199 so fire away, mom. It worked. David Remnick loved what 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:54.440 you wrote, of course he did. The piece you wrote 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.359 that Remnick published in the New Yorker don't eat before 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:01.040 reading this was the type of magazine phenomenon that is 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:03.600 hard to imagine in this day and age, the modern 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:08.320 era of the Internet. There you were walking down Park 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.160 Avenue on your way to work like you did every day, 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:14.120 except perhaps today you were walking with a little bit 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.520 more swagger than usual. The New Yorker article was the 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:21.200 shit that you knew it. Nancy knew it, Everyone fucking 0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:24.280 knew it. There was only one problem. Did your boss, 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:27.359 the owner of lay All, did he know it? Or 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:30.200 was he pissed. Did all the behind the scenes kitchen 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:33.280 exploits rub him the wrong way? Shit? Were you going 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:38.080 to peacock into work today and get fired? You rounded 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:42.160 the corner and there they were news trucks outside your 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:47.040 restaurant waiting for you. Your article prompted a mini media 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:50.840 sensation right there on Park Avenue, And oh, how delighted 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.320 the news crews were when they jammed their microphones in 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.480 your face and blasted their sun guns, only to realize 0:20:56.480 --> 0:20:59.679 that you were naturally camera ready and they weren't the 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:02.800 only one to notice. The article led to a full 0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:07.280 on book deal Kitchen Confidential, And this, my friend, was 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:12.240 no mini sensation. This was the real deal, a phenomenon, 0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:17.040 a New York Times bestseller, Oprah Letterman, high fives from 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:20.000 construction workers as you walk down the street. Kind of famous. 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.679 You ate it all up. You took every opportunity your 0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:26.560 newfound publishing fame brought you, and you knew all too 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:28.719 well what it was like to not be famous, and 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:30.920 now you had life by the throat and you weren't 0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:34.760 going to let go. So when they showed up looking 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:37.240 to talk to you about a TV show idea, you 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:41.800 were skeptical, but you listened. Then you got on a plane. 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:45.720 Then you got divorced. Then you ventured out into truly 0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:52.240 uncharted waters towards something you'd never fully experienced before, happiness 0:21:52.880 --> 0:22:00.880 and self contentment. We'll be right back this were were 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:15.359 where Chapter three a tavia. Love, as they say, is 0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:19.600 a many splendid thing. They also say love is a 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:24.400 burning flame, and that love will tear us apart. I've 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:26.719 found all three of these quotes to be true at 0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:30.520 various parts of my life. But perhaps the most truthful 0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:34.639 quote about love comes from my hero uncle lou lou Reid, 0:22:34.720 --> 0:22:38.400 who said, you do what you love, or you get arrested. 0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:43.280 Anthony Bourdain made it out of the kitchen. Anthony Bourdain 0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:46.600 was freed from the grind. Anthony Bourdain was a best 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:51.000 selling author. Suddenly, to the surprise of everyone, including himself, 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:55.840 Anthony Bourdain was now a television star, and Anthony Bourdaine 0:22:56.720 --> 0:23:03.359 was in love. Two thousand and five, five years after 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:08.400 Kitchen Confidential was published, Anthony Bourdain's television series No Reservations 0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:12.359 debuted for the Travel Channel. It was not your normal 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:17.000 food or travel show. It was almost entirely subjective. More 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:20.320 Gonzo journalism presented through a different medium and for a 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:25.119 different millennium. This wasn't early two thousands reality TV, and 0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:29.240 it wasn't some cuddly roly poly chef molded for Middle America. 0:23:30.200 --> 0:23:33.119 This was a street walking chia ready to get his 0:23:33.240 --> 0:23:38.399 eat on. The show's concept was simple. Best selling food 0:23:38.480 --> 0:23:42.159 author Anthony Bourdain would travel to different locales around the world, 0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:46.240 sampled the local fare, and comment on it. But the 0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:52.760 show was different because of well Anthony Bourdain. Tony was 0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:58.080 a totally unique character. Tall, lanky, dark, strangely handsome, and 0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:02.160 armed with a lifetime of blue collar kitchen experience, hard 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:06.240 working experience that was relatable and that softened his cutting 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:12.040 wit and obvious intelligence. Tony displayed an encyclopedic understanding of culture, 0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:16.040 of books, movies, music, the things that bind people together 0:24:16.119 --> 0:24:18.919 that don't come out of a kitchen. All of this 0:24:19.080 --> 0:24:22.600 constituted a totally unique point of view that Tony delivered 0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:28.080 with humor and curiosity, and the dude could write. His 0:24:28.240 --> 0:24:31.639 narrations for episodic TV remained some of the best examples 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:35.440 of subjective journalism that I've ever heard. Hunter S. Thompson, 0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:41.000 Joan Diddion, Dominic Dunn, Anthony Bourdain. His writing was that good. 0:24:41.880 --> 0:24:45.280 Almost instantly, Tony elevated himself to the level of some 0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:48.160 of the greatest to ever do it. He was fearless 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:50.119 when it came to his point of view, and he 0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:53.680 was nothing if not curious and empathetic. Part of the 0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:56.920 show's appeal was Tony's ability to break bread with people 0:24:56.960 --> 0:25:00.320 from all walks of life, from completely different so social 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:05.960 and economic backgrounds Montana ranchers, Sardinian pig farmers, Muslims, Jews, 0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:11.720 ted fucking nugent, didn't matter politics, religion, whatever. If you 0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:13.960 liked to eat, if you had ears and could open 0:25:13.960 --> 0:25:16.919 them up and listen, then Tony Bourdin could find common 0:25:16.960 --> 0:25:21.640 ground around the dinner table. Hunger was at Tony's core. 0:25:22.560 --> 0:25:24.960 He went at his job and his newfound success with 0:25:25.040 --> 0:25:28.480 an insatiable energy. You could sense that he had life 0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:31.080 by the balls finally, and that he wasn't going to 0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:34.560 let go ever, But we didn't want him to. We, 0:25:35.160 --> 0:25:39.760 like him, were hungry for more. But Tony's hunger was 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:45.640 a junkies hunger, all consuming. There are no part time 0:25:45.720 --> 0:25:49.600 heroin addicts, and though Tony kicked his addiction years before 0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:55.320 becoming successful, the addiction never kicked him. Tony just shifted 0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:59.600 his addiction from heroin to work and then to a 0:25:59.680 --> 0:26:07.320 top Anthony Bourdain's television career was responsible for the end 0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:10.000 of his first marriage, and it was also responsible for 0:26:10.080 --> 0:26:15.360 the beginning of his second. A tavia beautiful, strong, smart, 0:26:15.840 --> 0:26:20.360 take no shit, Italian, wholesome from a big, loving family 0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:23.159 on the other side of the world, the type of 0:26:23.160 --> 0:26:26.720 woman that a guy like Tony Bourdain looks at and goes, oh, yeah, 0:26:27.359 --> 0:26:30.520 this is who I've been waiting for. He went all 0:26:30.560 --> 0:26:35.200 in and so did she. They shared secrets. Tony's were 0:26:35.480 --> 0:26:42.560 darker than she expected. The Caribbean island of Saint Martin's 0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:46.560 a few years after Tony's success, just after the split 0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:50.399 from his first wife, a dark time that no amount 0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:53.359