Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, is this the gag?
Speaker 2: Yes, sir? Who is this?
Speaker 1: This is Patrick?
Speaker 2: Patrick? Patrick? You wait where? I heard a little beep
Speaker 2: in the background. What was that?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You're getting out of your car.
Speaker 1: I just got in the car.
Speaker 2: Okay, are you about to start driving the car somewhere?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be the one driving.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, who are you in the car with?
Speaker 1: I'm in the car with my six months old and
Speaker 1: her mother?
Speaker 2: Oh what? Okay? Wait, okay, so you just all right?
Speaker 2: You texted me and you said I'm texting you because
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you about how I fucked
Speaker 2: up my relationship with my daughter's mother so bad that
Speaker 2: it genuinely made me rethink my whole life. And you
Speaker 2: want to talk to me about this while she's driving
Speaker 2: a car.
Speaker 1: See you. I'm totally down for it.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, go ahead. What happened? How did you
Speaker 2: fuck up this relationship?
Speaker 1: So this relationship has been going has been going on
Speaker 1: for seven or eight years now, but it was kind
Speaker 1: of rocky all the way from the start from my
Speaker 1: own doing. So, I got out of a maybe a
Speaker 1: four year relationship that was basically my whole high school time,
Speaker 1: and then m maybe less than a month after that,
Speaker 1: I met step uh step me, my baby's mother, and
Speaker 1: so we started talking.
Speaker 3: We dated.
Speaker 1: I wasn't over my my high school girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Girl.
Speaker 1: I wasn't over my high school girlfriend yet. And one
Speaker 1: thing led to another. I hit up my old ex
Speaker 1: and then new baby, new new girlfriend found out about it.
Speaker 1: So that just strained the whole relationship. And then after that,
Speaker 1: instead of us just completely breaking it off from each other,
Speaker 1: we just kind of.
Speaker 3: Rolled with it.
Speaker 1: I guess you could say you kept dating. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we kept dating.
Speaker 2: And this was this was several years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this that was twenty eighteen. And so then
Speaker 1: we dated, like I guess you could say, exclusively for
Speaker 1: about four years, and then we broke up and then
Speaker 1: we were kind of just like on and off since then.
Speaker 2: Okay, And then when did you have this child together?
Speaker 1: That was about six months ago last November.
Speaker 2: Okay, which she was born. So you were on enough
Speaker 2: to do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was actually a weird situation, but yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was one of those on one of those on times.
Speaker 2: And are you happy with that?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Was it was? It? It was this like a choice
Speaker 2: or did this like just happen?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: So it kind of just happened like it was. There
Speaker 1: was definitely no plan of it, but we both kind
Speaker 1: of decided that we didn't really want to go through
Speaker 1: with an abortion.
Speaker 2: Oh so okay, so it was it was an unplanned baby. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So but you guys, it sounds like you're co parenting
Speaker 2: pretty well considering she's in the car with you right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're pretty cordial when it comes to our daughter
Speaker 1: because she really has nothing to do with our problems
Speaker 1: that we have between each other, you know, So we
Speaker 1: were pretty cordial for her. But if it's just us too,
Speaker 1: it's like back and forth. Some days were good, some
Speaker 1: days we're.
Speaker 3: Very very bad.
Speaker 2: How and how are you today as you're talking about
Speaker 2: this on the phone while she's in the room.
Speaker 1: Uh, Well, like my tech said, I've been thinking about
Speaker 1: myself and my actions and everything about me a lot lately.
Speaker 1: So I've come to a conclusion that I'm not living
Speaker 1: the way I want to or should be. She's got
Speaker 1: an idea of the way she wants me to be,
Speaker 1: which I don't really I wouldn't say I don't agree with,
Speaker 1: but there's just a different way I don't want to live.
Speaker 3: For myself.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about this. Let's talk about this. What
Speaker 2: what way does she want you to be?
Speaker 1: Let's seem to put it shortly, she would stay more
Speaker 1: attentative to our relationship. Mm hmm. She says more respectful
Speaker 1: to her, to be more respectable to her in our relationship.
Speaker 3: Is she? Dude? Is she?
Speaker 2: Is she feeding you these lines?
Speaker 3: Does she?
Speaker 1: She? She sent me that last one?
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Okay. She wants you to be more respectful
Speaker 2: to her and she wants to be more attentive to her. Okay,
Speaker 2: to keep going? Is that it?
Speaker 1: Honestly, porn and sex has been a bit a big
Speaker 1: problem and I really like throughout the.
Speaker 3: Years, Okay, so when okay, so when relationship?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, but we'll talk about that. But why
Speaker 2: do you Okay, So she she wants you to be
Speaker 2: more attentive to your relationship and more respectful to her.
Speaker 2: Why does that not jive with how you want to live?
Speaker 1: I know, maybe that part doesn't drive Maybe maybe that's
Speaker 1: not the part that I'm talking about, but it's uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just as throughout the seven years, like
Speaker 1: the stuff we've been through and whatnot, we've both lost
Speaker 1: respect for each other. So so for me to to
Speaker 1: start respecting her in that way, it the way she
Speaker 1: wants me to, I don't. I don't think I could
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: This is crazy, I you know what. Okay, Okay, I've.
Speaker 1: Been waiting to talk to you, dude.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let's let's let's let me hear this. I
Speaker 2: have a pretty good idea. It sounds of how she
Speaker 2: gradually How did she in your How do you believe
Speaker 2: that she lost respect for you over the years, just
Speaker 2: like porn and ship?
Speaker 3: Uh, porn ship.
Speaker 1: During those on and off periods the people I would
Speaker 1: talk to, but I don't think that's really her business
Speaker 1: in the off periods but mostly.
Speaker 2: Uh, she just said she just said something. What does
Speaker 2: she just say?
Speaker 3: What did you say?
Speaker 1: She says I would bring them into the relationship during
Speaker 1: I'm guessing during on periods.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I want to talk to her so badly, but she's dry. Well, well,
Speaker 2: we'll get to it, we'll get through it.
Speaker 3: Okay, do you want it now?
Speaker 2: I want to. I still have more information I want
Speaker 2: to get out of you first. She so, okay, So yeah,
Speaker 2: in what way? How does she lose respect for you?
Speaker 2: The like to put the masturbation important stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like the base of it, I would say,
Speaker 1: because she feels so okay, let me. I I feel
Speaker 1: just as I know I feel with porn and masturbation
Speaker 1: that that is totally separate from your real sex life,
Speaker 1: and I don't think it shapes how you feel about
Speaker 1: your partner. That's that's my base and I'm standing on it.
Speaker 2: Here's listen, listen, listen, listen. I agree with that as
Speaker 2: a baseline until those things stop being true. So the
Speaker 2: question becomes like, I don't think that porn and masturbation
Speaker 2: are inherently bad for your real sex life until they
Speaker 2: become that right, So like, what do you were you
Speaker 2: like not having sex with her or appreciating her.
Speaker 1: Or dude, we had sex all the time and it
Speaker 1: was I thought it was great sex at least, but
Speaker 1: for her, she with the whole X thing with her,
Speaker 1: I think she believes that I go to porn because
Speaker 1: I don't like her, like I don't enjoy her. But
Speaker 1: it's totally not true.
Speaker 2: What did she.
Speaker 3: What did you think?
Speaker 1: She said? She brought up other people that were that
Speaker 1: have been problems in our relationship during the four year
Speaker 1: on time the beginning. Okay, like the the X basically
Speaker 1: the X.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's look more at what you said in
Speaker 2: this text here. You said I fucked up the relationship
Speaker 2: with her. Okay, so you're let me talk to her? Actually?
Speaker 2: Is that okay? Is she down?
Speaker 3: Yep?
Speaker 1: Do you want to talk to him? Everybody's nervous to
Speaker 1: talk to him. Do you mind if I put it
Speaker 1: on the speaker?
Speaker 2: We can try. Sometimes it sounds shitty, but you know,
Speaker 2: we can try.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Let me let's try here.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hey, what's your name?
Speaker 4: Stephanie?
Speaker 2: Stephanie? How's it going to Stephanie? Wait, Stephanie, do you
Speaker 2: know who? Do you know who I am? Or what
Speaker 2: the context of any of this is?
Speaker 4: Yes, we want to see a show in San Diego?
Speaker 2: Oh you but what you both went to see my
Speaker 2: show in San Diego?
Speaker 1: Yah?
Speaker 2: Dude? What dude? Why don't you guys just why the okay?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Okay? All right, let me Stephanie. Why have you lost
Speaker 2: respect for I forget? I'm gonna call him John three?
Speaker 2: Is fucking Patrick Patrick? Why have you lost respect for Patrick?
Speaker 4: Because? Uh, you never respect you since the beginning. It
Speaker 4: was always lie after lying, so like in the way
Speaker 4: that he, I guess cuts himself out there. He just
Speaker 4: doesn't care about his image, and oh, I just think
Speaker 4: it's disrespectful on his end.
Speaker 2: What do you mean by he doesn't care about his image?
Speaker 4: Like, mmm, i'd was gonna want me to talk about
Speaker 4: this go for like during my pregnancy, he was still,
Speaker 4: you know, doing stuff behind me back, liking stuff. He's
Speaker 4: not supposed to talking to girls.
Speaker 2: He's not supposed to well, like he was cheating on
Speaker 2: you while you were pregnant.
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, maybe we.
Speaker 1: Ship was undefined because we were never really together whenn't
Speaker 1: the baby was conceived. But since the baby was conceived,
Speaker 1: then we decided we weren't going to get an abortion.
Speaker 1: I moved in with her.
Speaker 4: We try to make it work, and he would try
Speaker 4: to well, he would say he would try to make
Speaker 4: it work, but then I would find out things and
Speaker 4: it was just like a fantasy to me.
Speaker 2: Were you were? You? Were you?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: Were you both seeing other people?
Speaker 4: I wasn't. I'm not sure he was. I don't know
Speaker 4: he did he them, but it's where I could belie.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean it sounds like neither of you
Speaker 2: particularly want to like be romantically engaged with each.
Speaker 4: Other, not anymore, not anymore that he still tells me
Speaker 4: that he still wants anything, wants his family to this day.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, but she tells me the same thing. No,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: So you so wait, so Patrick, you you want to
Speaker 2: stay together.
Speaker 1: At this point? Now, I'm I just kind of want
Speaker 1: to be by myself, to work on myself and do
Speaker 1: things for myself. Like for the last fifteen years or so,
Speaker 1: I always kind of held myself back because of the
Speaker 1: people I was talking to, even though I wasn't doing
Speaker 1: them right, I kind of still did hold myself back
Speaker 1: from I think, stuff that I could have been doing
Speaker 1: or just been doing better for myself. So now I'm
Speaker 1: just focusing on myself and my daughter.
Speaker 2: Okay, what about you? What about you, Stephanie.
Speaker 4: I'm my main focus right now is just my daughter,
Speaker 4: to be honest.
Speaker 1: And myself.
Speaker 4: Interesting and just making money.
Speaker 2: But so you guys are like friends.
Speaker 4: Friends I hate each other.
Speaker 2: Okay because you both you both went to you both
Speaker 2: went to see my show.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, which was actually very fun.
Speaker 2: Oh thanks, thanks? Wow? Who watched your daughter while you
Speaker 2: were at the show?
Speaker 1: My mother?
Speaker 2: Your mother? Okay, yeah, all, Stephanie, are you are you?
Speaker 2: Have you tried dating anyone else? Or you're just like
Speaker 2: on your own ship right now?
Speaker 4: Oh my own ship? I don't. I just don't have
Speaker 4: the motivation really to go out there, especially be in
Speaker 4: a single mom in this society. I feel like nobody
Speaker 4: wants that, you know, type of life.
Speaker 2: How's your kid doing?
Speaker 4: You're doing great, It's wonderful, blessing.
Speaker 2: Wow, it sounds like you know what's funny is you you?
Speaker 2: This is so you two have a fascinating relationship with
Speaker 2: each other. You're really do you too have a fascinating
Speaker 2: relationship with other? Because you two clearly have Uh. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you two would agree, but you too
Speaker 2: clearly have a deep friendship with each other. Hands out.
Speaker 2: You clearly have a deep friendship with each other underneath
Speaker 2: it enough for you to like raise a child together.
Speaker 2: But also just a complete lack of Wait. Okay, so Patrick,
Speaker 2: I'm curious, Okay, So Patrick, all right, So I've gotten
Speaker 2: the idea of why Stephanie no longer has respect for you?
Speaker 2: But why do you say you no longer have respect
Speaker 2: for Stephanie?
Speaker 1: I end of the same reason she doesn't have respect
Speaker 1: for me. She would do sets behind my back. I
Speaker 1: would do sets behind her back. We would kind of
Speaker 1: go tit for tot. And then some things I just
Speaker 1: I found out, like maybe a month ago.
Speaker 2: Wait, just made me, Stephanie, is this true? You like
Speaker 2: you would also like see people behind Patrick's back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you said the tone of the relationships, it's like,
Speaker 4: give me gonna do something, I'm gonna do him worse.
Speaker 1: Like I said, we would go fit for tat literally,
Speaker 1: so I and it went on for years, years, and
Speaker 1: then once we got to the after we like broke
Speaker 1: up and weren't weren't quote unquote exclusive. We it wasn't
Speaker 1: as bad like or it didn't it didn't matter as much,
Speaker 1: you know, but just some of the stuff that I
Speaker 1: found out, And I'm not sure exactly sure why we
Speaker 1: let it go on so long. Either we both kind
Speaker 1: of one of us would break it off and then
Speaker 1: or and come back, or we would take the other
Speaker 1: person back. It just was a revolving circle. And you
Speaker 1: know what, actually, like maybe two or three months before
Speaker 1: my daughter was conceived, we had kind of came to
Speaker 1: an agreement that we were just gonna leave each other alone.
Speaker 1: And then we never did it again.
Speaker 2: Okay, dude, this is like, why don't you don't why
Speaker 2: don't you two just like, why don't you to just
Speaker 2: like fucking be in a relationship and then be like
Speaker 2: because clear I don't. Clearly you two both like want
Speaker 2: to like fuck other people. Why just be in a
Speaker 2: relationship but then have it be like, listen, if you
Speaker 2: want to fuck other people, that's fine, just let me
Speaker 2: know why you just do like a quasi poly thing.
Speaker 1: Like an open relationship kind of deal.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's I mean, that's essentially what you guys
Speaker 2: have been. You guys have essentially been doing an open relationship.
Speaker 2: But it pisses everybody off because there's no title of it,
Speaker 2: because that wasn't the title of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know what. Uh someone told us that
Speaker 1: before too. I think what it is, deep down both
Speaker 1: of us want something monogamous, but I think we're kind
Speaker 1: of just too far gone. Yeah, possibly not even kind
Speaker 1: to just we are too far gone.
Speaker 2: Ah, So you don't respect each other, do either? Do
Speaker 2: either of you? Do you believe that you two could
Speaker 2: respect each other again once more?
Speaker 1: Again No, not not in a romantic way. Like she's
Speaker 1: a cool person, and like you said, we do have
Speaker 1: a decent friendship, and I would like to keep it
Speaker 1: that way for our daughter. But yeah, like we said,
Speaker 1: we're focusing on ourselves.
Speaker 2: Okay, respect. Actually, you know what, I'm coming around to this.
Speaker 2: I actually am coming I am actually coming around to
Speaker 2: the idea that you two should not be together. Well
Speaker 2: I'm but but I am wondering what happens when, like
Speaker 2: if one of you gets like a boyfriend or a
Speaker 2: girlfriend like you guys, are you gonna be jealous?
Speaker 1: Uh? I? Right now I probably would be for sure.
Speaker 1: But sometime down the road, as long as they're fine
Speaker 1: with my with my daughter and they're treating her right,
Speaker 1: M I got no problems, all right.
Speaker 2: You're so what what's your what's your name again? Patrick?
Speaker 3: Patrick?
Speaker 2: Patrick? You're so fucking lucky? Why I really feel like
Speaker 2: you're so fucking lucky. You're so fucking lucky because you're
Speaker 2: so fucking lucky because you got to fuck up a
Speaker 2: lot and it's kind of fine. You have to fuck up, dude,
Speaker 2: you know, you got to fuck up a ton, and
Speaker 2: it's kind of totally fine because you have because you're
Speaker 2: because dude, like you how many fucking guys? Because dude,
Speaker 2: you know how many fucking guys there are who like
Speaker 2: they fucked up and like their wife or girl, the
Speaker 2: mother of their children cannot be in the same room
Speaker 2: with them, let alone be in the same room with
Speaker 2: them on speakerphone with the gecko talking about it. You
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, dude, dude, you're so dude, Well,
Speaker 2: I have a changed my dude. You're so fucking lucky
Speaker 2: right now, do you. How many guys have like you?
Speaker 2: Many guys have like like they cheat on their girlfriend
Speaker 2: or whatever and now they're like in court battling over
Speaker 2: custody or they did some like you. You're so like
Speaker 2: you have. Oh my god, you're so fucking like you
Speaker 2: got like an infinite check, Like you're your family life
Speaker 2: is like at a baseline of like a calm existence.
Speaker 2: Like just the fact that your family life is at
Speaker 2: a baseline of calm existence enough that you can exist
Speaker 2: in this we can have this conversation right now is
Speaker 2: crazy to me. And the fact that you're saying, like
Speaker 2: I wanna I'm directing this to you because you called
Speaker 2: and shit, and like the fact that you're saying to
Speaker 2: me like you texted me in this thing you said today,
Speaker 2: I'm starting the seventy five days of working out, no porn,
Speaker 2: no alcohol, no weed, nothing but locking in on bettering myself,
Speaker 2: like like like, please do that, please do like just
Speaker 2: do that, lock in on yourself. Just try to be
Speaker 2: a better person. Like the fact that you have, like
Speaker 2: the fact that you have the opportunity even to do
Speaker 2: that and to like be a dad. The fact you're
Speaker 2: not like in court doing a fucking whole thing, and
Speaker 2: that you you can go see my show with your
Speaker 2: your ex girlfriend who is the mother of your daughter
Speaker 2: or whatever. Like, dude, you're so fucking lucky. Do you
Speaker 2: understand that, like this is insane.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I've I've seen it go way words for
Speaker 1: other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so fucking lucky. Run in the dude. I
Speaker 2: think I think both whatever you got, whatever you guys
Speaker 2: got going on, is awesome or it's not. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I haven't decided yet.
Speaker 1: But.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, thank god, thank god, your daughter's gonna be fine.
Speaker 2: Thank god. I think I think your daughter is gonna
Speaker 2: be fine, gonna be your daughter was going to grow
Speaker 2: up to be a healthy, productive member of society because
Speaker 2: both because oh my god, this is this is this
Speaker 2: is wild, this is crazy. Thank God. I mean, you
Speaker 2: guys could be at each other's throats right now. I
Speaker 2: don't I don't even know how you're doing. I don't
Speaker 2: know how you're doing what you're doing. I don't know
Speaker 2: how you're doing what you're doing. This is one of
Speaker 2: the health This is one of the healthiest relationships I
Speaker 2: think I've.
Speaker 3: Even see.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would say that, but you know, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think how we kind of were letting this happened
Speaker 1: for so long. I think not only was it a
Speaker 1: lack of respect for each other that was the problem,
Speaker 1: but it was also a lack of respect for like ourselves.
Speaker 1: And that was one thing that I came to, like
Speaker 1: a conclusion I came to recently, which kind of started
Speaker 1: this whole seventy five day thing.
Speaker 2: Well that's good, man, that's good. Let's good. Your daughter.
Speaker 2: Where are you guys driving to? By the way, is
Speaker 2: it a long car ride?
Speaker 1: We actually stopped right now. We're about to go get
Speaker 1: some food.
Speaker 2: You guys are like dating. What is this? It's just
Speaker 2: so funny.
Speaker 1: You're like friends, We're hanging out. I had to pick
Speaker 1: up my daughter and we were both hungry, so I
Speaker 1: was like, you know.
Speaker 2: Whatever, stephan I have a question.
Speaker 4: M hm.
Speaker 2: So, like this is going to go on the internet
Speaker 2: and a bunch of people are gonna comment on stuff.
Speaker 2: Is there? And John's been not I don't know Sebastian
Speaker 2: Sabastian is doing most of the talking and Patrick what
Speaker 2: Patrick's sorry, I don't know where I got smush from.
Speaker 2: Patrick's been doing most of the talking. So just for
Speaker 2: a second, is there anything that you want to say?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just gonna say, if God gives just scientists
Speaker 4: all sucking with them, man, leave him because he's gonna
Speaker 4: turn you into you know, having you have his fault,
Speaker 4: I mean, his kids, and it's gonna be too late.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be it's gonna be too late to go back.
Speaker 4: That's all I'm gonna say. Just be careful, take the
Speaker 4: just look at the race legs and just leave it
Speaker 4: as it is continuing because you're gonna end up being
Speaker 4: like in this relationship and yeah, you're gonna or or
Speaker 4: it could be worse.
Speaker 2: All right, man, that's so funny. Well, thank you for
Speaker 2: thank you for that, Stephanie. John, is there anything you
Speaker 2: want to say to the people before we go?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: No, man, I'm just like, super excited and happy that
Speaker 1: I got to talk to you.
Speaker 2: I'm happy I got to talk to you too. I
Speaker 2: wish we could have It's it's funny that, uh yeah,
Speaker 2: you guys are you guys are interesting? I think I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know what's gonna happen to you guys,
Speaker 2: but I'm sure call me back in ten years. I
Speaker 2: want to see what became of this.
Speaker 1: Deal.
Speaker 2: Awesome, all right, you guys have a good one, you too, like, well,
Speaker 2: if there were ever a podcast that I needed the
Speaker 2: audience to weigh in on, I'm very curious what people
Speaker 2: think that that was an interesting that was a fascinating relationship.
Speaker 2: I feel like they're going to get back together, but John,
Speaker 2: I feel like, but they they I feel like they
Speaker 2: can get back together, but John has to really like,
Speaker 2: John has to lock. John has to lock. John has
Speaker 2: to do such an unbelievable amount of locking in for
Speaker 2: them to be able to get back together. He gets
Speaker 2: to do an amount of locking in that I don't
Speaker 2: think is humanly possible, but who knows. I'd love to
Speaker 2: hear in ten years they they figured it out or
Speaker 2: not or fucking either that or step either that or
Speaker 2: John locks in, he does whatever. Stephanie gets a new boyfriend.
Speaker 2: She's happy. Actually that too, that could all that. Also.
Speaker 2: I was having a John focused theory on this, but
Speaker 2: my Stephanie focused theory. She gets a new boyfriend. They
Speaker 2: lock in together. John locks in, he does his thing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe they shouldn't be together.
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 4: From Lee?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow? Hi? How you doing? Hey?
Speaker 2: I'm doing good. What's your name is?
Speaker 3: Lee?
Speaker 2: Lee?
Speaker 3: I'm blessed to speak to you today.
Speaker 2: You share a name with the guy who assassinated John F. Kennedy.
Speaker 3: Ooh, I also share a name with Bruce Lee.
Speaker 2: Uh not really, I mean that's his last name. Lee's
Speaker 2: your first name. So you you half Lee share a
Speaker 2: name with Bruce Lee.
Speaker 3: Okay to something.
Speaker 2: You sound like you're in a car right now, I
Speaker 2: might be Where are you on your way to?
Speaker 3: In this car, I'm on my way to the gym.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna work out today? What part of
Speaker 2: the body we're doing?
Speaker 3: Arms? And bye up and shoulders?
Speaker 2: How often do you go to gym? How many days
Speaker 2: a week?
Speaker 3: Three days? Right now?
Speaker 2: Okay? What about normally?
Speaker 3: Lomally? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You said right now? What about normally.
Speaker 3: Two days normally, but trying to make three days the standard.
Speaker 2: You know, is anything currently motivating you or inspiring you
Speaker 2: to go to the gym so consistently.
Speaker 3: Uh, I'm just tired of like my clothes being so tight, dude,
Speaker 3: the same. I like being shirtless.
Speaker 2: You like being shirtless?
Speaker 1: Do you look?
Speaker 2: How do you look?
Speaker 3: Shirt?
Speaker 2: It was currently?
Speaker 3: Uh okay, I'm getting there, but I'm okay right now?
Speaker 2: MM what made you want to call me?
Speaker 3: You know? I I've been trying to call you for
Speaker 3: a long time. And I used to have like a
Speaker 3: lot of issues, but that was issues kind of resolved
Speaker 3: and I'm going to like better say now and so
Speaker 3: now I'm just I've just been calling to see like
Speaker 3: if I didn't and I got in like three years later,
Speaker 3: but you know, with those issues. So I do I
Speaker 3: do have a question for you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Please? Yeah, well I have questions for you, but go
Speaker 2: ahead with your question for me.
Speaker 3: Okay. So for me lately, even though I was kind
Speaker 3: of like in a better space, I still feel very lost.
Speaker 3: Like my life is kind of more going with the
Speaker 3: flow then it is structured per se. So I want
Speaker 3: to ask you, you know, do you ever feel lost?
Speaker 3: And like, how do you go about that?
Speaker 2: Dude? I feel lost every fucking day of my life. Yeah,
Speaker 2: of course. Okay, Well I'll answer my question in the
Speaker 2: context of what is what you were doing? So and
Speaker 2: so tell me what issues you were having and then
Speaker 2: how they got resolved. I'm very curious.
Speaker 3: What's it called? Well, I think for starters, I used
Speaker 3: to really compare myself to my friends a lot, so, like,
Speaker 3: you know, right now, I'm twenty seven and all my
Speaker 3: like close friends are married, they're having kids, you know,
Speaker 3: they're getting their their their jobs and their respective fields,
Speaker 3: and I'm kind of just like, no, no, no no partner,
Speaker 3: no no child, no no career. I just got a
Speaker 3: new job. But it's not like in what I went
Speaker 3: to school for, so I you know, just stuff like that,
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't say I don't even know, like I'm
Speaker 3: just I'm just doing my best, you know, so compare
Speaker 3: myself to others.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so how do you feel, Like, how do you
Speaker 2: feel like that issue resolved itself for you?
Speaker 3: I think I've just been kind of thinking of, like,
Speaker 3: you know, what's it called really really thinking, Like, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 3: So I'm thinking I'll just remind myself, you know, like
Speaker 3: I have these feelings now, but it's because you know,
Speaker 3: maybe I'm not I'm not applying myself where I need
Speaker 3: to be, and I'm not taking certain things more seriously.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: My physical health was one thing, so I think that's
Speaker 3: like been helping me, you know, going to the gym
Speaker 3: and losing some weight. But what's it called for my
Speaker 3: mental health? You know, I just try and take care
Speaker 3: of it. But it's just in the one where's it.
Speaker 3: We're just just going with emotions, I guess, m hm.
Speaker 2: And how's your like health now?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: Like in the I guess in all of the things
Speaker 2: that you were comparing yourself to other people with, like, uh,
Speaker 2: how are they now? Like do you feel like you're
Speaker 2: do you feel better about your your life?
Speaker 3: Twitter? For the most part. You know, I would love
Speaker 3: to have a partner, that's for sure, but uh, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm I think I'm okay with not adding one for now,
Speaker 3: just because you know, everything's a little too expensive, so
Speaker 3: I feel like I wouldn't be able to provide as
Speaker 3: much as I want to. And yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2: So I but you're getting ripped.
Speaker 3: Doing my best there?
Speaker 2: How do you so? Do you feel you sound? I mean,
Speaker 2: you go to the gym three times a week. You
Speaker 2: sound like a physically attractive guy.
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Do you? I would? Are you putting yourself out there?
Speaker 2: Are you on the app? So you running around? What
Speaker 2: are you doing?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm on the apps? But the apps are
Speaker 3: pretty trash. I won't lie to you.
Speaker 2: What's trash about them? I mean, I know I know
Speaker 2: why they're they're they're trap. But you sound I don't know.
Speaker 2: It depends on who you are. You sound like I'm
Speaker 2: picturing you as the kind of guy that does well
Speaker 2: on the apps. There's a kind of guy that does
Speaker 2: well on the apps, and I'm picturing you as that guy.
Speaker 2: I'm just from your voo. I don't know if you
Speaker 2: are that guy, but just from talking to you, from
Speaker 2: what I know about you, you sound like that guy.
Speaker 3: I love that. Thank you, Thank you for that. But
Speaker 3: uh no, I don't get that many swipes. I won't
Speaker 3: lie to you. I think it's because also, like my
Speaker 3: profile is just you know, I think I put a
Speaker 3: decent pictures on it, but I just I don't know,
Speaker 3: I don't I don't take those apps too seriously because
Speaker 3: I've gone on a few dates before, but uh, like
Speaker 3: I kind of got like trauma from one of them,
Speaker 3: so I just take a I take a I don't
Speaker 3: take it seriously anymore.
Speaker 2: What kind of I mean, if you want to talk
Speaker 2: about it? What kind of drama?
Speaker 3: Oo? I mean, what's it called? To make? It?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Not that long of a story. I just I met
Speaker 3: up with this girl. Whoo. At first, I was like,
Speaker 3: you know, hey, I want a relationship. Is this kind
Speaker 3: well we haven't talked for two weeks. I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm kind of like this is where I'm wanting to
Speaker 3: go with this, like it you know, it's just what
Speaker 3: you want to do. And she was like, you know, no,
Speaker 3: not not really, but you're kind of cool, so like
Speaker 3: can we just be friends? And I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: you know that's fine. So she hits me up one
Speaker 3: day to like be like, hey, you want to hang out.
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, sure, FuG it. So we we
Speaker 3: go we hang out, uh and then you know, afterwards,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, you know, this is.
Speaker 5: So fun, but I'm gonna go home and she was
Speaker 5: like okay, and then she kind of like me to
Speaker 5: move on me, and then we were gonna like have
Speaker 5: an intercourse in the back of my car.
Speaker 3: And then I couldn't. I couldn't, you know, I couldn't
Speaker 3: stay up. And then uh, and then she she laughed
Speaker 3: and said why is it so small?
Speaker 2: She she laughed at you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh my dude, she dude. Listen. First of all, just
Speaker 2: so you know, I'm I'm picturing you as as uh again,
Speaker 2: like I'm picturing you as a beautiful man on the
Speaker 2: other end of this phone. You are a beautiful man
Speaker 2: on the other end of this phone. I can't she
Speaker 2: laughed at you, man, damn fuck, damn doubt.
Speaker 3: I think it was like an awkward situational laugh.
Speaker 2: But you know, she laughed nonetheless, and she said why
Speaker 2: are you so small?
Speaker 3: She's along the lines of that, guess like, why is
Speaker 3: it so small?
Speaker 2: Or damn, damn damn. How did you react? That must
Speaker 2: have Yeah, that's fucked up.
Speaker 3: I just I was just like, uh, you know, I
Speaker 3: think I'm just gonna go home now, damn. And then
Speaker 3: you know, I was on the drove, so it was
Speaker 3: an awkward drive home.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you had to drive home?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, damn.
Speaker 2: But that's good. But you know what, it's she revealed.
Speaker 2: It's like because you wanted a relationship with her, but
Speaker 2: she revealed herself in that moment, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So it was almost like a good thing that she
Speaker 2: like because you could have got imagine you like got
Speaker 2: deep into a relationship with her or like you started
Speaker 2: really developing feelings for her in some fucking way, and
Speaker 2: then she pulled some shit like that on you.
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, that would have been brutal for sure.
Speaker 3: M hm.
Speaker 1: Hmm.
Speaker 3: We keep it moving forward.
Speaker 2: Okay, I listen. I don't think that I don't think
Speaker 2: every woman on the apps is going to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: your ship is small, you know, Oh yeah, I think
Speaker 2: you can find you. I think that there are some
Speaker 2: ladies out there who are like, whatever you got, right, like,
Speaker 2: no matter who you were, I mean you know this,
Speaker 2: right like, no matter who you are, there's someone out
Speaker 2: there that like, what you got is what they what
Speaker 2: they're looking for, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Real hmm okay?
Speaker 2: Was that part of was that was that that sounds
Speaker 2: like something that would cause me to go to the
Speaker 2: start going to the gym three times a week? Was
Speaker 2: that a catalyst.
Speaker 3: Uh, this happened like three years ago.
Speaker 2: Three years ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, after that, I was just like let me,
Speaker 3: let me I prefer like a long time, I was like,
Speaker 3: let me not be on these apps, so let me
Speaker 3: kind of like do my own thing. And it was
Speaker 3: a thing where I was like, oh, I should really
Speaker 3: like exercise after that, but I have like I have
Speaker 3: like pretty bad ADHD and I was like very unhealthy
Speaker 3: and like under and over stimulated like all the time.
Speaker 3: So after a while, I've kind of like focused on
Speaker 3: that and then now like I'm able to put my
Speaker 3: attention into certain things a little better. But it was
Speaker 3: a catalyst, but it took like fucking you know, like
Speaker 3: two three years, two years to really get the the
Speaker 3: ball rolling in the sense.
Speaker 1: H m hm.
Speaker 2: So are you excited about the future now?
Speaker 3: I think so?
Speaker 1: You know, Oh, what was your sorry?
Speaker 2: Sorry? Go ahead, I'm not I should interrupt you. Go ahead.
Speaker 3: No, No, I don't even know what I'm sorry about.
Speaker 3: That feel free.
Speaker 2: Well, I was gonna say, Okay, you asked me a
Speaker 2: question earlier, and I kind of avoided it, but because
Speaker 2: I wanted to hear what you wanted to say. But
Speaker 2: now that I've heard what you wanted to say. What
Speaker 2: was the question you asked me if ever felt lost?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel lost all the time. Actually, And it's
Speaker 2: funny because you can, dude, I don't know. I actually
Speaker 2: feel as the older I get, the less I feel qualified.
Speaker 2: I mean I was never qualified or or even claimed
Speaker 2: I was qualified to like or I don't even like
Speaker 2: whatever to do a podcast like this, Like I you know,
Speaker 2: it's not even like it's a whatever. I've done this
Speaker 2: disclaimer a million times, but like, yeah, I don't know
Speaker 2: where the fuck uh my life goes. I've been I
Speaker 2: feel like I've been lost for a while. The older
Speaker 2: I get, the more lost I feel the more. And
Speaker 2: it kind of makes sense because at some point you
Speaker 2: have to declare a major. You have to make you
Speaker 2: do have to like make decisions and like stick to
Speaker 2: them and like learn to be comfortable with the ones
Speaker 2: you did not choose. And that's something I struggle with
Speaker 2: severely and do believe has caused me strife. I would
Speaker 2: say it's part of uh feeling lost for sure. So
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I feel I feel lost all the time.
Speaker 2: But also, you know what I've been doing lately is
Speaker 2: this is how this is kind of helping me feel
Speaker 2: a little bit less lost. And I'm still too I
Speaker 2: still feel like I'm too anxious to like, uh, really
Speaker 2: take action upon these feelings. But I'm like, dude, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to stop like faking it till I make it.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying in terms of like
Speaker 2: I'm trying to stop faking how I feel like I
Speaker 2: can't predict like if I fucking hate something, I can't
Speaker 2: pretend like I don't anymore. It's really hard. Or if
Speaker 2: I fucking like, like my I feel in my gut
Speaker 2: so deeply when I fucking hate something, and I feel
Speaker 2: in my gut so deeply when I fucking love something,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, I'm like surrendering to those feelings. Nowadays,
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm still too maybe cowardly to like
Speaker 2: live my life in full alignment of those feelings because
Speaker 2: something feels like there's I like, I get too interested,
Speaker 2: I get too thinky about everything surrounding those feelings. But like, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, I feel like I walk around New York
Speaker 2: and I look around and I'm like, I fucking love
Speaker 2: living here, Like I love this shit. I love being
Speaker 2: like I feel like in deep alignment with that shit, right,
Speaker 2: And then I've other things in my life trying to
Speaker 2: think of some shit like like I'm just trying to
Speaker 2: get some low stakes shit like uh oh, or like
Speaker 2: I'll be at like a event or like talking to
Speaker 2: someone or maybe you know what I'm out at, like, uh,
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't go to the club. But let's
Speaker 2: say I'm at the club or some shit, or I'm
Speaker 2: at a party or something, what is something like that,
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I fucking hate being here, I fucking
Speaker 2: hate talking to this person right now, I fucking hate
Speaker 2: whatever this is, and I'll just leave, like I don't.
Speaker 2: I won't kind of fake myself into things anymore, you know,
Speaker 2: Like I feel alignment in my gut, and I've tried
Speaker 2: to do this thing of let me I've tried to
Speaker 2: do this thing of like let me just pretend like
Speaker 2: I don't and let me just try to enjoy exactly
Speaker 2: where I am. Like it's the it's the duality of
Speaker 2: uh wanting to like be comfortable, wanting to like enjoy
Speaker 2: your life as it is, but also wanting to feel
Speaker 2: aligned in it. These these are these are things that
Speaker 2: make me feel very lost. Is this uh choice between
Speaker 2: the two. But I'm trying to really listen when my
Speaker 2: body in my brain are telling me when I love something,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna hate something. But then you can you can
Speaker 2: have logic behind, like why you should still do things
Speaker 2: that you hate. I don't think you get I don't
Speaker 2: know if you get out of that. I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's possible to like have a life where you
Speaker 2: never ever do anything that you hate and you only
Speaker 2: do things you love, but then you see people do it,
Speaker 2: and then you're like and then also also do I
Speaker 2: think a lot of it is like this, dude, this
Speaker 2: sounds everythink I'm saying. It sounds so uh like motivational speaker.
Speaker 5: Ye.
Speaker 2: But I'm starting to get it because I've heard people
Speaker 2: say this shit before. You know, the shit of like
Speaker 2: feeling like you deserve they have a life where you
Speaker 2: that you like like or feeling like you deserve, uh,
Speaker 2: things like you deserve, like feeling like you deserve to
Speaker 2: have a good life. Okay, you know, have you ever
Speaker 2: heard that people talking about that ship?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: I have heard of that.
Speaker 2: What do you think about that?
Speaker 3: I feel like you can't really have those thoughts unless
Speaker 3: like you're you work towards it, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like.
Speaker 3: If you're going through life and you're like, man, I
Speaker 3: should be rich by now, but you haven't done.
Speaker 2: It's not. Okay, it's not. It's not like an entitlement
Speaker 2: thing though. It's not like I don't look at it
Speaker 2: like it's like a It's kind of this spiritual ish
Speaker 2: thing of like looking at like because sometimes you can
Speaker 2: look at yourself and be like uh, because you can
Speaker 2: be someone that works really hard and still be like
Speaker 2: I'm a fucking piece of shits, you know. But it's
Speaker 2: like a spiritual thing of like do I do I
Speaker 2: as a human being feel? That's dude, that when people
Speaker 2: say ship like you're enough, Dude, I'm sorry, I'm going
Speaker 2: I'm going like I drink a Celsius and I'm going
Speaker 2: full therapy mode on you right now.
Speaker 3: No. I love this. I'm also drinking, well, I'm drinking
Speaker 3: the Costco variant of Celsius.
Speaker 2: What's the Costco variant of Celsius.
Speaker 3: It's called Kirkland Signature Sparkling Energy Drink.
Speaker 2: WHOA how many grams of the how much caffeine is
Speaker 2: in it?
Speaker 3: Two hundred?
Speaker 1: With?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Okay, sounds like we're on the same
Speaker 2: sounds like we're on the same wavelength. Here, sounds like
Speaker 2: we're on the same I got my dude, this is
Speaker 2: not an advertisement, but I just I'm trying the I love.
Speaker 2: I'm a big Celsius guy. Although I might switch, I
Speaker 2: might go by, I might start buying the Kirkland ship
Speaker 2: because there's no it sounds like it's the same ship.
Speaker 2: Is it good? What's the flavor?
Speaker 3: I'm drinking tropical and it's like a pineapple, starfruit, mango
Speaker 3: kind of thing. Nice. It does have taurine in it,
Speaker 3: so it kind of has like a like a red
Speaker 3: Bully taste to it.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, that's the thing I like about. Again,
Speaker 2: it's not a Celsius ad, but that's what I like about.
Speaker 2: Celsius doesn't have the tar Oh wait, no, it's wait no,
Speaker 2: it totally has tarn in it. Wait, it absolutely one
Speaker 2: hundred percent has taurine in it. Dude, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: What is taurine? Because yeah, I don't like the red
Speaker 2: bull I mean, I do like the red bull taste,
Speaker 2: but it makes it feel like I shouldn't be drinking it.
Speaker 2: What is taurine Taurine is an abundant, naturally occurring sulfur
Speaker 2: containing amino acid found throughout the human body. Google says
Speaker 2: it's healthy for most adults to take taurine every day.
Speaker 2: But that's totally not true, right, Wow, it can't be true.
Speaker 3: I used to have a friend who told me taurine
Speaker 3: was made out of bull spirit.
Speaker 2: I believe that. I still I would still believe your
Speaker 2: friend over Google.
Speaker 3: That's very real of you.
Speaker 2: This the thing of like, like I guess believing because
Speaker 2: sometimes because like I look around and I'm like, as
Speaker 2: I get older, I'm I think when I was younger,
Speaker 2: I used to have this thing of like, uh, I
Speaker 2: used to believe more that I deserve the good life
Speaker 2: when I was younger, and then as I've gotten older,
Speaker 2: I believe it. And again this is something do with
Speaker 2: like entitlement or like work ethic. It kind of like
Speaker 2: it's kind of like a step before that. It's like
Speaker 2: you you get a little older, and then I'm start
Speaker 2: having these feelings where I'm like, man, I'm not fucking special,
Speaker 2: Like I'm just some fucking asshole, Like who am I
Speaker 2: to want a good life? Or who am I to
Speaker 2: like feel like I deserve a good life.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Now, I think that kind of self talk it like
Speaker 2: I actually I believe that that is bad. I believe
Speaker 2: it is worth. I believe it is bad. It is
Speaker 2: self talk that I have, and I believe it is bad.
Speaker 2: So it's not like an entitlement. So the like the
Speaker 2: to believe you deserve a good life. I don't think
Speaker 2: it's like a thing of like, oh I deserve to
Speaker 2: be rich tomorrow. Oh I deserve this. I deserve that
Speaker 2: it comes. Actually, I feel like it comes before the
Speaker 2: work in some way where you have to go, like
Speaker 2: you have to rewire your fucking brain to be like, yes, uh,
Speaker 2: there's you know, the fucking kids dying in the Middle East,
Speaker 2: and yes, there's a billion other people and you are
Speaker 2: just some asshole, and yes, uh, you know, I'm infinite,
Speaker 2: I'm infinitely small, and you know whatever. But spiritually I
Speaker 2: have for whatever fucking reason, I am piloting the consciousness
Speaker 2: of myself that is the one thing in the you,
Speaker 2: my own fucking lives, the one thing in the fucking
Speaker 2: universe that I like can control and like am and
Speaker 2: I am like, yes, some asshole, but I am making
Speaker 2: the executive decision that for some power beyond me. I
Speaker 2: have been put into this body and this brain and
Speaker 2: this consciousness, and it is my divine duty to like
Speaker 2: treat myself the best as possible and strive to have
Speaker 2: a good life. And for that reason, I will find
Speaker 2: myself to be deserving of having a good life, because
Speaker 2: I'm the only thing that I can be from like
Speaker 2: a fucking like divine perspective. Does that make sense? Am
Speaker 2: I insane? That makes sense?
Speaker 3: Right? No? I love that. I really really, I really
Speaker 3: resonate with what you're saying right now.
Speaker 2: Dude, I like, listen, I feel this way because I
Speaker 2: am on two hundred milligrams of caffeine right now. I
Speaker 2: want to feel that way every day. I literally I
Speaker 2: maybe this is I don't know if I'm bipolar, I
Speaker 2: don't know what. But I literally oscillate between like really
Speaker 2: feeling what I just said, which feels like a healthy
Speaker 2: amount of ego to have, and then the other thing.
Speaker 2: I feel it all that I feel like I feel
Speaker 2: like lately I've been feeling more the other thing, which
Speaker 2: tells me I'm just some fucking asshole and why should
Speaker 2: I you know, but that that's like ego too, right,
Speaker 2: isn't that more that's like an unhealthy amount of Like
Speaker 2: that's not good. That's not good for anyone, right.
Speaker 3: I feel like you gotta have a little though, Like
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, I agree. You have to hate.
Speaker 2: I I also do believe like you have to, you
Speaker 2: have to be humbled in some sense because you ever
Speaker 2: meet someone and they have no they don't hate themselves
Speaker 2: even a little bit. I can't. I can't. I can't.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it feels like they're larking at some point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, But you know, I do want to.
Speaker 3: You know know, uh, I very much do love your content.
Speaker 3: And at some points I get a little I get
Speaker 3: a little envious because of how often you travel mm hmm.
Speaker 3: And sometimes I'm like damn, you know, because well I
Speaker 3: don't think I told you, but like I have, like
Speaker 3: I have a bachelor's in social work because I'm trying
Speaker 3: to get into social work and whatnot. Yeah, so I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 3: like he was doing he was doing some ship that
Speaker 3: like I kind of want to do mhm. But you know,
Speaker 3: I ain't. I ain't built like that built like what
Speaker 3: like the whole like social media thing, Like I kind
Speaker 3: of suck a a oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I one thing that is inherent in
Speaker 2: my wiring, like from like I kind of I get
Speaker 2: it from my dad. Actually is like fucking yeah, like
Speaker 2: the marketing ship you know, like do it like how
Speaker 2: to fucking like because yeah, it is. It is kind
Speaker 2: of a thing and like to today's day and age,
Speaker 2: I suppose where like if you want to you do
Speaker 2: have to like learn the the the tricks of social
Speaker 2: media and marketing and you know, uh funnels and algorithms
Speaker 2: and shit like that to like enable you to like
Speaker 2: do the actual work you want to do. Like yeah,
Speaker 2: when I was growing up, my dad, like when I
Speaker 2: was in middle school in high school, my dad like
Speaker 2: hired me to like help him run his like Facebook
Speaker 2: account and his like email funnels and his like YouTube shit.
Speaker 2: So that's how I got into being like, oh, let
Speaker 2: me like collect people's emails so I can message them
Speaker 2: when I have a tour, or oh I can I
Speaker 2: can utilize the attension that I get on one platform
Speaker 2: and funnel it into another platform. And yeah, I've I'm
Speaker 2: lucky that like I that like brain, Like some people,
Speaker 2: I'm lucky that I kind of grew up like wired
Speaker 2: for that brain. A little bit, but I totally get
Speaker 2: it's it's at the like, after a certain point, I
Speaker 2: do like that brain that like version of thinking. It
Speaker 2: can it can lead you to a point where you're like,
Speaker 2: like there has to be something underneath it that you're
Speaker 2: like actually doing, because I see people who they get
Speaker 2: into that brain of like oh how do I like
Speaker 2: get views or whatever? But like under like that whole
Speaker 2: like marketing brain or whatever, it has to be like
Speaker 2: something that props up like a real thing that you're doing,
Speaker 2: like fucking you know, like music or if you have
Speaker 2: like a movie that you made, or like a book
Speaker 2: you wrote, or like I you know, I guess a
Speaker 2: podcast or whatever, like something like it has to be
Speaker 2: propped up by like something that you're actually doing, because
Speaker 2: if all you have is the marketing thing, it's like
Speaker 2: what am I even doing right now?
Speaker 3: You know? Right?
Speaker 2: Sorry, I feel like I keep going on rants.
Speaker 3: No, I love that.
Speaker 2: Wait, let's talk more about you. Sorry, I'm being a
Speaker 2: fucking crazy person right now. Now you're cool, okay, all right,
Speaker 2: tell me more about what you want to do. Let's
Speaker 2: talk about you. I gotta stop, I gotta, I gotta
Speaker 2: stop drinking energy drinks before the fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: Now you're show I don't even know, bro, because like, well,
Speaker 3: for social work, right now, I have to go back
Speaker 3: to it to get my master's. Right, Well, I don't
Speaker 3: have to do it, but it's better if I do
Speaker 3: so because there's more opportunities. Right. But like recently, what
Speaker 3: had happened to me is I had applied so I
Speaker 3: live in I live in Cali, but I had applied
Speaker 3: for a probational like job social work position in in Honolulu.
Speaker 2: Why you know, oh cool, cool.
Speaker 3: Right, it's sick, And so I ended up getting the job.
Speaker 3: But the thing is like they didn't offer any like
Speaker 3: relocation assistance, and it would have been like for me,
Speaker 3: it would have been like eight to ten k out
Speaker 3: of my pocket to like go out there car yeah,
Speaker 3: to get in an apartment because like a lot of
Speaker 3: the places I also reached out to were like, yeah,
Speaker 3: if you if you want an apartment, you need a
Speaker 3: you need a pacelet. And I'm like, well, I got
Speaker 3: a job out there. I'm moving out there for a job.
Speaker 3: Can I like, I can show you the official hiring
Speaker 3: email and then I can get it. I can get
Speaker 3: you a FASIP later. And they're like, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: just just reach out to us when you get a pacelip.
Speaker 3: So I was like, okay, well, you know, my mom
Speaker 3: had the idea of like, oh, you know, you usould
Speaker 3: get an hotel for like two weeks, get your pacelip
Speaker 3: and then moved, you know into apartments. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 3: a good idea. It's also like kind of like a
Speaker 3: gamble too, because you know that Hawai as fucking expensive
Speaker 3: as shit, and if I get like my pace slip,
Speaker 3: there's no guarantee that they're gonna like let me into
Speaker 3: an apartment, you know. So I didn't. I didn't want
Speaker 3: to move out there be like ten k plus in debt,
Speaker 3: and like the job, the job is really cool, but
Speaker 3: it was also only like twenty five an hour, you know.
Speaker 3: So I got into my own head and I like
Speaker 3: end up backing out for the job. And I was
Speaker 3: just like, oh, I just I feel like shit because
Speaker 3: I've been applying to, like I spent all of last
Speaker 3: year applying to like different case manager positions, different different
Speaker 3: like behavioral technician, physicians and whatnot, and like I get
Speaker 3: like a handful of interviews, I'll go through it nothing
Speaker 3: and then I get the one job that's across the
Speaker 3: fucking water. And then I can't go because I don't
Speaker 3: have like enough money saved and I don't want to
Speaker 3: like myself and further dead.
Speaker 2: Wait question, So it's ten K to relocate, uh, because
Speaker 2: you have to like how much of that is shipping
Speaker 2: the car? Like do you need the car there?
Speaker 3: Ideally the well the car is like it was like
Speaker 3: twenty four to twenty four hundred to three k, and
Speaker 3: they measure it also like by weight.
Speaker 2: Okay, so then and this and this job, they're not
Speaker 2: going to give you like a relocation stipends.
Speaker 3: No, like no no airplane comp no, like I would.
Speaker 3: I'll take like section eight out there, you know, like
Speaker 3: throw me you throw me in like a tiny ass
Speaker 3: little apartment, you know, I'll take that. But you know,
Speaker 3: those no, no no assistance whatsoever, which I feel it's
Speaker 3: kind of silly for a government job on an island
Speaker 3: to not have relocation assistance, you know, right, But I
Speaker 3: think it's also just me coping with having terrible financial habits.
Speaker 2: What kind of uh financial habits do you have that
Speaker 2: are terrible?
Speaker 3: I'm just very impulsive and like it's like hard for
Speaker 3: me to say. I think this is another thing too,
Speaker 3: Like when when I was I used to be, I
Speaker 3: used to be egregiously depressed, you know, like I went
Speaker 3: to therapy and I my my therapists diagnosed me with
Speaker 3: a major depressive disordering and they put me on antidepressants
Speaker 3: and whatnot, and so I was just egregiously depressed. I
Speaker 3: had like no dopamine, you know, from my fucking brain
Speaker 3: being silly. I was on the antidepressant, but uh, they
Speaker 3: told me I shouldn't take caffeine, but I used to
Speaker 3: drink like soda like all the fucking time, and and
Speaker 3: uh and coffee and whatnot. So like the anti depressics
Speaker 3: didn't do their full job, you know. So like I
Speaker 3: would just spend money on bullshit to like give myself
Speaker 3: temporary satisfaction, you know, like a like I fucking micro
Speaker 3: transactions and Overwatch or or Magic the Gathering Cards or yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: totally yeah, but yeah, so I just I just kind
Speaker 3: of put myself in a hole because then for the
Speaker 3: longest time, I had a part time job for a city,
Speaker 3: and like I did like maybe twenty hours of work
Speaker 3: a week, so I get like, you know, a little
Speaker 3: money I had went to bills, and then everything else
Speaker 3: was just shitty spending.
Speaker 2: Wait, sorry, this is a this is a side note.
Speaker 2: But your gym is very far away.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm I'm parked in my car like I'm chilling.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, I thought I thought I thought your
Speaker 2: gym was thirty five minutes away from wherever you were.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm here. Does this sound better?
Speaker 2: Oh sure, yeah, it does, sounds way better. Okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: So are you still doing Are you still uh like
Speaker 2: addicted to like dopamine loops?
Speaker 3: Yes, but it's I want to say, it's getting better,
Speaker 3: but it's still like a little prevalent, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, do I have the same fuck? I? I yeah,
Speaker 2: Like no, when you're really fucking depressed, you'll like you're
Speaker 2: just there's something about like, like yesterday I walked by
Speaker 2: like a frozen yogurt store, like I'm truly just abandoned
Speaker 2: frozen yogurt place that nobody ever goes into, and I
Speaker 2: was like stoked. I was like, oh, I get to
Speaker 2: be happy for like five seconds. You know That's what
Speaker 2: it is, right, So I'm like, yeah, brain brain chemistry
Speaker 2: dependent thing. But you feel like but at the beginning
Speaker 2: of this call, you said that you were feeling better
Speaker 2: about all that shit. Do you feel like do you
Speaker 2: feel like you are?
Speaker 3: I feel like overall, I'm like because part of my
Speaker 3: like depression back then was like I just I wanted
Speaker 3: to die, you know, like straight up like or I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm able to say that, but
Speaker 3: you know, like it was like the worst of the
Speaker 3: worst of thoughts I used to have, like it would
Speaker 3: fester and snowball, and like I I draw, you know,
Speaker 3: I drive to unsafe places and kind of just like
Speaker 3: watch the waters go, you know. But but uh like
Speaker 3: I don't do that anymore, you know. I overall, I've
Speaker 3: like learned to enjoy life for what it is, and
Speaker 3: I think, like I'm I want to say, I'm like
Speaker 3: seventy five percent happy with my life, and then the
Speaker 3: day of the rest of the percent is like right,
Speaker 3: it's it's it's getting better. The rest of the percentage
Speaker 3: is just like fuck, you know, I really need to
Speaker 3: like I have better money, financial skills and whatnot, and
Speaker 3: and like properly like I want to cut myself off
Speaker 3: of spending on myself, you know, but I also I
Speaker 3: would really like to not be dropping, you know. Hella
Speaker 3: money when I don't need to be mm hmmm mm
Speaker 3: hmm yeah.
Speaker 2: What uh? What was the thing you spent the most
Speaker 2: money on when you were trying to feel something?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: My god, food? I was a fat fuck?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, dude, listen to this shit. I went
Speaker 2: to Burger King yesterday. I got a whopper, a medium, fries,
Speaker 2: and a drink. Guess how much money that was?
Speaker 3: Did you use the value menu or not?
Speaker 2: No, I use that just regular whopper. Why Wopper's not
Speaker 2: on the menu.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna guess fifteen dollars?
Speaker 2: Seventeen dollars?
Speaker 4: Fuck?
Speaker 2: What happened to our country? Seventeen dollars for a whopper,
Speaker 2: fries and a drink.
Speaker 3: It's agreed, it's it's terrible, and I paid it.
Speaker 2: I'm part of the problem. Oh god. I remember holding
Speaker 2: it and being like and also it was like pathetic
Speaker 2: looking too, It's like it wasn't even like a It's
Speaker 2: not even like a five guys burger where it's like,
Speaker 2: all right, there's some premium missis to this. But what's
Speaker 2: your name again?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 3: Lee?
Speaker 2: Lee? I enjoyed having this conversation with you late.
Speaker 3: I did too. You've given me a lot to think
Speaker 3: about okay.
Speaker 2: Good, good, good?
Speaker 3: What? Uh?
Speaker 2: What should what should we how should we end this?
Speaker 2: What should we say? What should we do? What do
Speaker 2: you think? Uh?
Speaker 3: Am I allowed to plug my my amateur photography account.
Speaker 2: Sure, man, sick?
Speaker 3: Uh what's it called? It's called the Daily Google Photography
Speaker 3: on Instagram, The Daily what Bugle likes you know, like
Speaker 3: Spider Man, The Daily Bugle.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's it's the Daily the Daily Bugle.
Speaker 3: Yes photography.
Speaker 2: So you stole it from Spider Man.
Speaker 3: Hey, the the tag was open on Instagram, so I
Speaker 3: took it. I hope. I don't get like copyright strike through?
Speaker 3: Can I don't even know?
Speaker 2: No, I don't. Yeah, they don't know in the.
Speaker 3: That way.
Speaker 2: It's just the Daily Bugle Photography.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: And there's no there's no Oh are you Spider Man?
Speaker 3: Yeah? That's me?
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, all right? So well, you got a picture
Speaker 2: of a cat? Wait, this is nice. Wait, this is
Speaker 2: a great photography page. I like this. I'm following. I
Speaker 2: just followed. You got a picture this, You got a
Speaker 2: picture of the sun. You get a picture of a flower,
Speaker 2: you got a picture of a fucking bird the sky. Wait,
Speaker 2: everyone followed this guy's photography page the Daily Bugle Photography. Wait,
Speaker 2: look at this one. Paradise Falls.
Speaker 3: Oh that's a good trail.
Speaker 2: Yeah, scri scroll through your whole page. This is nice.
Speaker 2: This is a this is like, this is this page
Speaker 2: kind of looks like, uh, if this should be on
Speaker 2: the Golden Record that we send out into outer space
Speaker 2: for the aliens. You know, it's just kind of it's
Speaker 2: pretty perfect.
Speaker 3: That's the that's a Heidi, my mighty, that's a mighty
Speaker 3: high compliment.
Speaker 2: I mean that with I really, I mean that with
Speaker 2: all of my like, I'm so serious right now, Like
Speaker 2: it's this is just this is just a guy taken
Speaker 2: photos of the Earth that he landed on. This is
Speaker 2: exactly this. You're this I don't know. I'm this is
Speaker 2: what it feels like to be alive. This is is
Speaker 2: looking through I'm looking through your page. I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is it feels like I found something. Any flower is
Speaker 2: a it's a sunset, a flower, a cat. This is
Speaker 2: very pure, you know. There's no nothing flashy, nothing crazy.
Speaker 2: And even the look at the look at the fucking
Speaker 2: caption to what's up y'all. This is my average photography
Speaker 2: page that I will try to post consistently on let
Speaker 2: me know what you like and don't like about my posts.
Speaker 2: I let your open the criticism. But you're also you
Speaker 2: know this is a this is a good is that
Speaker 2: you know it's a spider man in the This is
Speaker 2: a great page. I'm a huge fan. I'm gonna comment
Speaker 2: nice on this picture of the sunset. Wow, it's a
Speaker 2: picture of the sunset. It says summer is almost upon us.
Speaker 2: Hashtag summer, hashtag beach.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I had to do the hashtags to try and
Speaker 3: get like something some more like for spread, you know
Speaker 3: whatever media stuff.
Speaker 2: This is perfect. But everyone, thank you. Check out this
Speaker 2: guy's photography page. What's your name again?
Speaker 3: I'm Lee, Lee Lee.
Speaker 2: Is there anything you want to say to the people
Speaker 2: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Uh, go to therapy? Getto live shows. I went to
Speaker 3: your first one in La.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, yeah, what year? What year?
Speaker 3: Let me I let me see if I can find
Speaker 3: the pick the selfie real quick twenty twenty two, May second,
Speaker 3: twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, okay everything was my first live show. You
Speaker 2: have the lodge room?
Speaker 1: Fuck?
Speaker 2: Yeah, damn hell yeah. Nice to finally talk to you.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have a selfie with you. I was a
Speaker 3: little drunk that night.
Speaker 2: Funny enough, Lee, thank you very much for calling, and uh,
Speaker 2: good luck with the rest of your entire life. This
Speaker 2: was a nice conversation.
Speaker 1: Thank I really appreciate that.
Speaker 3: You know. I'm gonna I'm gonna do better to be
Speaker 3: more u instinctual like you liked. I liked what you
Speaker 3: said earlier about the whole listening to your guys and
Speaker 3: doing doing what you want to do and not want
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, I'll try to do that too, because
Speaker 2: everything I just told you about this, it's just it's
Speaker 2: just it's just it's just behavioral theory. For me, I've
Speaker 2: been I've been ignoring my gut a lot. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try to do that too. All right, we'll
Speaker 2: both we'll make a pact. We'll both try to be
Speaker 2: better about stuff. Oh, I'll glad we make that pack swag.
Speaker 2: I'll see you around the universally.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I love you, Love you too, buddy, see you late.
Speaker 2: Bye bye dude. Once again, please go follow the Daily
Speaker 2: Bugle Photography on Instagram. Look, he just took a picture
Speaker 2: of a peloton. Why am I obsessed with? I don't
Speaker 2: know if this is the the Celsius talking about I'm
Speaker 2: obsessed with this since he took a picture of a tree,
Speaker 2: this is a perfect Instagram page. Please go look at this.
Speaker 3: Everything get goes to and his rite's teaching you about
Speaker 3: your life, but he's not really an expert.