1 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of You 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: Need Therapy. My name is Kat and I am your host, 3 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: and I hope everybody is having a wonderful day, whatever 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: day it is that you're listening to this. I'm having 5 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: a pretty good day today as I'm recording it. I 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: will say this episode is going to be awesome. I 7 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: just recorded it with my friend and fellow therapist, Tara Booker, 8 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: and she's actually been on the show before, actually twice, 9 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: because she did an episode with our friend Hannah, and 10 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: then we also did a couch Talks episode with her 11 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: where she answered her and Hannah answered some questions you 12 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: guys sent in about trauma. So if you love today, 13 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: go back and listen to that episode as well if 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: you haven't yet. But today we talk about spirituality, and 15 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, we were talking about this just one day 16 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: when she came over to my house and I was like, 17 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, we need to record this. Anyway, we didn't, 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: and she just came back and we did an episode 19 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: on it on purpose. But one of the things when 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: we were talking about of why we wanted to do 21 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: this is because it seems like one of those things 22 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 1: that is scary to talk about. There's not a lot 23 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: of people talking about spirituality, and in the difference between 24 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: that and faith and religion and Christianity and who God 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: is and a higher power. And I think our in 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: our culture that we are in this heightened sense of 27 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:30,960 Speaker 1: calling people out and fear of being wrong, and historically 28 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: there hasn't been a lot of space when it comes 29 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: to spirituality to be wrong. It's been a very what 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: it has seemed like to me, very black or white. 31 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: So people aren't talking about it, so then we're not 32 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: exploring it, and then it feels like we don't know 33 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: that part of ourselves, and it's a very, very very 34 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: important part of ourselves. And so Tara came over and 35 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: we we did the scary thing. We talked about spirituality. 36 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: And what I want you guys to hear what we 37 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: say is that this is a very personal thing. So 38 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: what we say and what we believe might not a 39 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: line with you, but if anything, what we want is 40 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: to get you thinking about all of this stuff and 41 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: processing it for yourself, because it can be a very powerful, 42 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: helpful healing experience. So I wanted to go ahead and 43 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: say that before we get into the episode, and before 44 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: we do that as well. I want to say, if 45 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: you love what Tara is saying, you can follow her 46 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: group's Instagram account called Pearls of Recovery at Pearls of 47 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: Recovery on Instagram. And at the end she tells us 48 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 1: how to get involved in the process group that she 49 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: runs with Hannah, and so definitely look into that. I 50 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: will link everything in the show notes, so if you 51 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: were like I didn't catch that, just click on the details, 52 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: they'll be a link for you. Tear is awesome at 53 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: what she does. She is a great person to talk 54 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: about things with because she makes you think, and we 55 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: need to think, and we need challenging conversations. I think 56 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: that is one of the reasons I love this conversation 57 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: is we need challenging conversations because just because we don't 58 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: agree with somebody, it might actually make us think about 59 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: why we believe what we believe and we can become 60 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: a little bit more rooted in that, which that's amazing. 61 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 1: Even if we don't change our minds, we can become 62 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: more rooted in the things that we do know and 63 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: why we know them. So all on that to say, 64 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,919 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will see 65 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: you guys on Wednesday for Couch Talks. If you have 66 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: any questions for Tara on this, go ahead and email 67 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: them to me as well, and she might come back 68 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: on the couch Talks to answer this. So I hope 69 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 1: you have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy 70 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: my conversation with Tara. Here it is welcome back to 71 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: another episode of You Need Therapy. I have an old 72 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: friend here that you guys already know. Her name was Tara. Hi. Hello, 73 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: and I am super excited about the conversation we're about 74 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: to have. And it actually started after we had a 75 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: conversation just as to humans off of a podcast, and 76 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: I almost wanted to be like, pause, I want to 77 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: record this, but of course I didn't. And so she 78 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: is back, and we're going to be talking about all 79 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: things spirituality and and I know a lot of things 80 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: probably come up. I would even say, as an exercise, 81 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: as you're listening to the ginn of this, I would 82 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: even notice what like words or thoughts or feelings are 83 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: coming up right now after you. I mean, I'm assuming 84 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: you knew what the episode is about when you read 85 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: the title and clicked on it. But just like what 86 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: thoughts are running through your head now, because that's one 87 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,679 Speaker 1: of the things that we're going to really talk about 88 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: of what is spirituality and how do we experience it 89 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: and what we think about it and all of that. 90 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: So I'm really excited to jump into this before we 91 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: get going. I know tera you want to go out 92 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: and give a disclaimer, So why don't you say, like, 93 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: why is this important to you? What made you want 94 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: to record something like this and talk about it in 95 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: the public, And then what do you want to say 96 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: before we jump into everything? Yeah? Thanks. I think the 97 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: disclaimer is most people, in some capacity, when they heard 98 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: you say the word spirituality probably had some kind of weightiness, 99 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,359 Speaker 1: like there's a weightiness to that word. And so my 100 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: disclaimer is I acknowledge the weightiness of that the good 101 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: and the bad, whichever shapes that may take. And that 102 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: means like there's no way that I can know all things. 103 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm not coming as a as an expert on any 104 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: particular thing and just acknowledging that this is just me 105 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: talking about an idea. I'm just kind of letting people 106 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: into my brain is probably what's happening, and and so 107 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: to to maybe receive that in whatever way it feels 108 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,279 Speaker 1: helpful to people. Um, and whatever ideas that run around 109 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: in my brain are not helpful to you, just toss 110 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: him right on out. I'm so glad you said it 111 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: the way you said that, because I think there's so 112 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 1: much content in the world right now, and I think, 113 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to this topic, we want answers 114 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: and we want something to grab onto, and it's really 115 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 1: easy to grab onto something or it's really easy to 116 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: just like rebuke something when it doesn't align with something 117 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: else you've grabbed onto before. So I've always used the 118 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: examples of like in this whole podcast, take whatever I 119 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 1: say with a grain of salt, because I'm not the 120 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: expert in your life and I'm just talking usually to 121 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: myself add here. So yes, I think that's very important 122 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: of we are not in any of this saying that 123 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: like we are the founding fathers of spirituality and or 124 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 1: founding mothers or whatever you want to say that I 125 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 1: don't have it all figured We don't have it all 126 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: definitely don't have it all figured out. But there are 127 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: ideas in our heads and those are wanting to be 128 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: shared with the work. This is how we grow. Yeah. Yeah, 129 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: and if you have feedback on any of this, send it. 130 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: If you have questions, send it. We can have a 131 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: tear back for a couch Shocks like we did last 132 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: time to answer some of the questions that might come 133 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 1: up through this. The other question you asked me was 134 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: why is it something I'd like to talk about? I 135 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: think the first half of that answer would be that 136 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: this thing called spirituality is probably the most foundational thing 137 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: in my life. And when I say foundational, I simply 138 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: mean like the around that holds me up when you 139 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: need period, that kind of like bedrock of my existence 140 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: kind of always kind of filters down into that. And 141 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: I think some of the things we'll talk about will 142 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: help explain what I mean when I say that. And 143 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: the other part of it would be that it I 144 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: think such a mystery even to people who maybe do 145 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: have some ideas about what what they're understanding of that is. 146 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: And I think what I want to offer to the 147 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: idea of spirituality is for people to be able to 148 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: play with the word a little bit, yeah, to just 149 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: like dig it up, see what what what they can discover? Well, 150 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: can I just jump into this next question then, because 151 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: I would like to before we get started separate these 152 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: things because a lot of people I'm making assumptions, but 153 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: I'm just going to do it because I can that 154 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: when spirituality comes up for a lot of people, it's 155 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: either something very separate from religion and faith or it 156 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: feels very connected from the words religion and the words faith. 157 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: And so before we go into any thing, will you 158 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: tell us how you look at the word spirituality, what 159 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: it means to you, and if that is different or 160 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: similar to those other two words. Yeah, I have about 161 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: five different answers running in my head, and I will 162 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: say what Tara is saying doesn't mean it has to 163 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: be what you think. This is how she's conceptualizing it, 164 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: And for the sake of this conversation, I think it's 165 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: important to figure that out. Sure. I think I'll start 166 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: in the simplest way. When I think about the word spirituality, 167 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: I think about words like peace, love, full, safe, and 168 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: the visceral experience of being connected and being able to 169 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: say that is a word I am in right now. 170 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: I think about spirituality in that way, and to kind 171 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: of expound on that found what comes in those in 172 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: those kind of labels that we use for experiences those words, 173 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: I think what comes with that is an idea of 174 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: like capital T truths, and everybody has their own, right, 175 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: I think that's what's so That's what's maybe one thing 176 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: that's different about religion spirituality. It's like in spirituality you're 177 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: like capital T truths, the truths that are foundational to 178 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: you that you kind of come to come to an 179 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: understanding of this is what I believe about me in 180 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: the world that I think is spirituality. It's not necessarily 181 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 1: rational or reasonable, reasonable or logical or scientific necessarily or 182 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: even emotional. It's just this place where I just feel 183 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: like I just this is just what I know and 184 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: equivocally without also any ability to explain why. So that's 185 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: something that I think is a good frame for spirituality potentially, 186 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: is just what do I believe foundationally at the heart 187 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 1: of all things of me, of the world. And then religion, 188 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: you know, is more of the institution. I think we 189 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: hear that a lot. I think a good analogy is 190 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: like education is to school, as spirituality is to religion. 191 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: That's so good. Did you just speak of that as 192 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 1: I was thinking about having this conversation that came to me. 193 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: That is so good? Like we may get an education 194 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: in school. Yes, you also may not get a real 195 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: true education depending on so you can also get an 196 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 1: education outside of school. There you go, wow, Okay, so 197 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:26,199 Speaker 1: that's the institution that we've created in order to hopefully 198 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: the ideal is to connect with that thing right, to 199 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: possess a sense of spiritual truth, a sense of knowing, 200 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: sense of peace, all that, and and so religion becomes 201 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: hopefully like a place we go to get some of that. Yeah, 202 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: I have a lot of feelings about that that are 203 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,560 Speaker 1: coming up, and I'm my goal for this conversation was 204 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: not to go on tangents, but it's gonna happen because 205 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: I think that sometimes again this is my opinion, we 206 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: put too much of our expectation and are too much 207 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: of our foundation as you use that word in the 208 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: religion versus the spiritual process and just the spirituality of it. 209 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: So I think that is a beautiful way to relate 210 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 1: this and and help people understand, because that's one of 211 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: the hardest things for people to separate of, like, well, 212 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: I can't be spiritual or I can't have spirituality in 213 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: my life, and I can't, and we'll talk about higher 214 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: powers and all that. I can't do that. I don't 215 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,719 Speaker 1: want to do that because I have this icky experience 216 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: in my religion, in my church or whatever place you 217 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: grew up going. And they don't have to be connected 218 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: because plenty of people have horrible experiences in school, whether 219 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: it was growing up in school or going up to 220 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: higher education, and they're wildly successful and intelligent outside of that, 221 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: and sometimes the school system fails kids. Yeah, exactly. And 222 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: then the other word was faith. Yes, faith. It's interesting 223 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: when I think about faith. I think what comes to 224 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: mind is like, that's just like an element of exists 225 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: sense whether we like it or not. Like we're all 226 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: having the faith every second of the day, and that's 227 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: just like a belief in a trust in the unknown. Well, 228 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: you know what. Also, because you said we're all having 229 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: faith no matter what, I think that's really cool to 230 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: say because people are like, I don't have faith. I'm like, 231 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: but you almost have faith in the fact that you 232 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: don't have faith, you know So I think that is 233 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 1: actually great to help us view what faith doesn't have 234 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 1: to just be not necessarily spiritual, it's not necessarily religious. 235 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: I think it just makes sense in those realms exactly. 236 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 1: But like we have faith in gravity like that it's 237 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: going to keep us to the ground. We're all just 238 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,679 Speaker 1: like trusted in that walk and around every we are 239 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: not even thinking, we are just what we don't know 240 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: what is going on. But it's like, what are you 241 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: putting your faith in versus my faith is my spiritual 242 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: There you go? And I heard it really beautifully said 243 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: also that faith is admitting our unknowing. It's not claiming 244 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,599 Speaker 1: to know anything. It's actually believing like in and admitting 245 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: and trusting at the same time of saying I have 246 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 1: no idea and I'm going to do it anyways, right, 247 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: which I think shows up so much in the therapy. 248 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: I have no idea what's going to happen in here, 249 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: how I'm going to survive walking through this pain. I'm 250 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: gonna do anyways. So you believe in something that whether 251 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: you know it or not, that something is potentially going 252 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: to catch you in that or you the opposite, you 253 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,680 Speaker 1: refuse to do it because you believe that you're not 254 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: going to be there you go. So a lack of 255 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: faith and trust becomes a huge impediment to both spirituality therapy. 256 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: So would it make sense to go into the idea 257 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 1: of like how you conceptualize higher powers. Sure, one, what 258 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,199 Speaker 1: do you call your higher power into? Like what is 259 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 1: a higher power? Depending on the moment I'm in, I 260 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: call my higher power a lot of things. I you know, 261 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: grew up in a lens and a framework that gave 262 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 1: it a name such as God. I still like that one. 263 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: I like to use that one. Uh. I think what 264 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,559 Speaker 1: I like about God for me is that it's still 265 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: kind of feels like this completely other thing, like like 266 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: we don't I don't even really know what I'm talking 267 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 1: about when I say it. And and so there's something 268 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: really cool about like that elusive, mysterious thing and that 269 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: word we use for word as God, so that one, 270 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: I use the word love quite a bit. And uh, 271 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: talking to about higher power life with a capital l 272 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: um just like existence and the force that is all 273 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: feel like the same thing to you, just with different names. 274 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: Good question. I believe they are the same thing. I 275 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: use them. Probably I'm choosing different words for a reason, 276 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: which is more about maybe the moment that I'm in 277 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: or what maybe I'm feeling like I need more of 278 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: a connection to. Okay, I want to relate this to 279 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: obviously therapy, because that's what we do here. And I 280 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: grew up with in the background of Christianity, and I've 281 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: always called my higher power God. I'm totally cool with that. 282 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: But also I realized that, like, not everybody does that, 283 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: and that's okay, and it doesn't really mean anything to me. 284 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: But I want to talk about why it is so 285 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: important to identify higher powers and how they're so essential 286 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: in the healing process, especially when it comes to trauma, 287 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: but really in any healing process. And so somebody who 288 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: has gone through experiences where where they're they've been burned 289 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: or just hurt by their quote unquote religion or any 290 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: of that, it's it can be hard, and it can 291 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: be there's a lot of push back, and so I 292 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: don't really know what the question I'm asking this, but like, 293 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 1: how one, why is it important to invite a higher 294 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: power into the process of life? And then how do 295 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: you approach it with somebody who's like I don't believe 296 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: in God and I don't have any interest in doing that. Yeah, 297 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: I will say, also, I don't talk a whole lot 298 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: about higher power to explicitly in therapy unless someone that 299 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: brings it up interested in that. Yeah. So I also 300 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: think it because it is the unnamable thing. I actually 301 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: don't think we often have to name it. It's it's 302 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: doing its thing anyways. But when that is an explicit 303 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: struggle or something that someone maybe needs some kind of 304 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: like they're they're wrestling with that in whatever way. Why 305 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: is higher power important in therapy? One way I've heard 306 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: something that comes to my own you asked that question 307 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: is one way I've heard spirituality and higher power talked 308 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: about his connection, Which is why I think the word 309 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: love feels so right for that. And that is often 310 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: what has been missing in most people's wounding is a 311 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: sense of connection and love and safety. You use the 312 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 1: word safety, yeah, yeah, And so what we want to 313 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: try to reconnect clients with some kind of source of 314 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: love and safety. And so if my higher power connection 315 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: has been tainted in a way where that's I'm not 316 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: able to experience that from that particular resource, then that 317 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: can be one of the big barriers to me getting 318 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 1: the sense of love and safety that I'm searching for. 319 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 1: So kind of clearing up whatever you know, misrepresentations or 320 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: wounding experiences have gotten in the way of me having 321 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: my own pure view in connection with that that I 322 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: can get a sense of love and safety from can 323 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: be really powerful. I think also it's just the awareness 324 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: for me as a therapist. I think about the fact that, 325 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: like the twelve steps are really beautiful comparison for all 326 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 1: of this, which you know, it's it's been said, Step 327 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 1: one is essentially an admission of what I can't do 328 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: and my limitations, and so like, as a therapist, we 329 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 1: know like I can't save you, I can't fix you, 330 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: I can't hear you. And there's this other awareness that 331 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,479 Speaker 1: the client is bringing into the room if they know 332 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: they can't in and of themselves. An interesting kind of 333 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: weirdly what I would call spiritual thing is happening that 334 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: we're really both just sitting in the room knowing that 335 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,959 Speaker 1: we in and of ourselves can't really give this person 336 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: what they really are desperately in need for. And the 337 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: togetherness of that somehow is which is something bigger than 338 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:14,719 Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely that is one of the most important parts 339 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: of all of this is that your higher power doesn't 340 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: have to be a person in the sky. But it's 341 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 1: just the idea that there's something bigger than you, and 342 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: there's something bigger than me, and it literally can be 343 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:29,199 Speaker 1: the combination of us both that can help give us 344 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: what we need because we are limited as humans, as imperfect, 345 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: flawed humans. One of the reasons I think it's so 346 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: important is because I think a lot of people walk 347 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 1: into the therapy room thinking like, I'm going to be 348 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: that higher power, right, Like this therapist is going to 349 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,919 Speaker 1: fix my problems. I've read what she wrote on Instagram 350 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: or like this. My friend went to her and she 351 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: said she was amazing Leva. And it's this expectation when 352 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: you walk through the door, that like, oh, this person 353 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: is going to fix me or give me what I got, 354 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 1: the answers, whatever it is, when that's really not that, like, together, 355 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: we may help heal a wound, but it's not me 356 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: that's doing it. That's one of the things that makes 357 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 1: me the most uncomfortable as a therapist, I think is 358 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 1: when people are like you stay in my life. I'm like, 359 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 1: I did it, and I've heard you say give examples 360 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: of like what higher powers have looked like for you 361 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: and in conversations with clients, And I would love to 362 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,199 Speaker 1: talk about that because when I first started as a therapist, well, 363 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: there's somebody who I was working with and I looked 364 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,640 Speaker 1: up to it at the time, and we were talking 365 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: about I think we're working on one of the steps 366 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: in a group. And I was very new in this, 367 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 1: so like everything that was said, I was like, oh 368 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,199 Speaker 1: my god, yes, And he said that he was like, 369 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: I don't care what your higher power is. Your higher 370 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: power can be the door knob. I literally don't care 371 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: what it is, but you you've got to find one 372 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 1: if you want to get through this. Now we can 373 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 1: debate that last part, but the first part, it being 374 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: like it can be a door knob was amazing. And 375 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: one of the things we used a lot was the group, 376 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 1: Like there's a group of like ten of us. The 377 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,399 Speaker 1: group was the higher power, which is kind of what 378 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 1: we're just talking about. But I want to hear from 379 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: you some ways that you've experienced a higher power or 380 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: the ways that you've experienced it with a client. There's 381 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 1: specifically a story I would love for you to share 382 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: it if you feel comfortable doing that. Yeah, I think 383 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: it's a great depiction because we need examples for this elusive, 384 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: mysterious thing that we're talking about, and it will still 385 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: feel really mysterious and it will make sense, and that's 386 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: I think the essence of spirituality, right there. So I 387 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: had a really beautiful, challenging, hard session with a client 388 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 1: who was coming in for significant sexual trauma, and in 389 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: working in a session around one of those specific memories, 390 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: she came to a moment in the midst of just 391 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: kind of going through and releasing a lot of the 392 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 1: emotional pain of it, where there was kind of a 393 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 1: collapse happening inside of her right like she was like, 394 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: I just feel in my body, like I just want 395 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: to curl into a ball on the floor, like tired, exhausted. 396 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: This when we've just kind of been beaten up and 397 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: we've cried every tear out of our eyeballs, and so 398 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: we did that. So she got on the floor, I 399 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 1: made her a cozy little spot and UM wrapped her 400 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 1: in a blanket and I just sat um with my 401 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: hand on her back and that was pretty much it. 402 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: And for about five to ten minutes, I mean it 403 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: was a pretty long time. This is just what we did. 404 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,199 Speaker 1: And she cried and then she just was started to 405 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 1: breathe and she started to just kind of like get 406 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: into that resting place she mentioned. She kind of said 407 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: in the midst of that that hand is magic. I'm 408 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: referring to my hand on her back, and I said 409 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: to her, because she was questioning, what is the higher 410 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: power thing I'm interested in that, I have no real 411 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: like connection to the ways it's been framed to me. 412 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 1: And so I said to her in reflection after that, 413 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 1: I think that's it, Like that's the that's higher power, 414 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: that spirituality, like that's the connection thing. And she said 415 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 1: it in such a way that I think does describe 416 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: the spiritual piece of it, like it's magic. Right. It 417 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: just there was it was it was pouring something into 418 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: her that she couldn't create, that she couldn't create, and 419 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: we were both really in it together, right, because I 420 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: was just being with her and really just offering that 421 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: kind of nurturing presence of love, like I'm just here. 422 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: I can't fix this, but I'm with you and this 423 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: is really hard. And we were receiving that, and so 424 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't to be clear, I wasn't the 425 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,199 Speaker 1: higher power in the room. But the thing that was 426 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 1: coming out of my hand, and what was coming what 427 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: what was receiving it in her, the vulnerable part of 428 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 1: her that was receiving it. It was both of the 429 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,719 Speaker 1: most vulnerable parts of us connecting with one another. And 430 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 1: the energy that that because whatever was in that that 431 00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: was higher power, that was spirituality, that was God. And 432 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: for me, I can know that in the room and 433 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: and as a therapist, that's really relieving also to know 434 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,159 Speaker 1: like that that just shows up for us that I 435 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: don't have to really like conjure that up or try 436 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: to make her feel that or anything. But if I'm 437 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,400 Speaker 1: just really in my deepest being and she's in her 438 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: deepest being, that it's going to show up and we're 439 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 1: going to both be able to get connected with it, 440 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: and it's going to do that magical thing of healing 441 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: that it really did for her. That story gave me 442 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: chills when you told it, and I got them again. 443 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: But it just to me is so important to hear 444 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff because I think we when we 445 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: think of a higher power, this is actually I'm not 446 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: gonna say, we are gonna say I in my past, 447 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: when I have thought of a higher power, when I 448 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 1: have thought of God, it has been some very big, huge, 449 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 1: extreme thing. It is a voice you hear in the darkness, 450 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,399 Speaker 1: like an audible voice, or it is a person on 451 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: a throne in the sky, or it is just a miracle, 452 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: like a huge miracle. Uh, in our higher power can 453 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 1: be in these everyday very mundane things like somebody's hand 454 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,439 Speaker 1: on your back and it just feels comfortingle or you 455 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: mentioned this when we were talking last time, like walking 456 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: outside and feeling the wind on your face. I can't 457 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: create that, so that that can be in higher power. 458 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: And oh my God, how our lives can change by 459 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: letting ourselves experience like greatness and the little things, because 460 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: I know for me, it's very easy to walk through 461 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 1: life not realizing that I believe in gravity, you know, 462 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 1: like taking all of these actually they are pretty extreme 463 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 1: things like that's a really cool thing that like our 464 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 1: body stays like magnetic to the ground, like what. And 465 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: So I think that there is great opportunity for transformation 466 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: in ourselves and how we view the world, um, because 467 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,479 Speaker 1: the world can be pretty harsh, especially now, by allowing 468 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: ourselves to think that a higher power is all around 469 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: us all the time. In my past, it's been like 470 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,440 Speaker 1: I experienced God at this moment or this moment, but 471 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: I wasn't periencing God all the time. I experienced God 472 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: when I went to church, But really I'm experiencing God 473 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,400 Speaker 1: in this conversation. I experienced God. When my eyes open 474 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 1: this morning without my alarm clock, I experienced God. Like 475 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: every moment, I can experience a higher power if I 476 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 1: allow myself to change the way i'm I'm looking at it. 477 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: And all of that is why I do continue to 478 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 1: say that this spirituality, the spiritual part of life in 479 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 1: us is a thing. And so whether you have any 480 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: idea what that is, just like a lot of people 481 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: don't have a clue what their emotional self is or 482 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: what their physical self is because they're so disconnected from body. Like, 483 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: it's a thing, no matter what your relationship. It's because 484 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: it's just in It's happening around us all the time. 485 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 1: I think it is important to just start to say, Okay, 486 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: this is a part of our existence, It's a part 487 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: of our makeup. So let me start to explore that. Yes, 488 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 1: because I hear a lot in the therapy room, where 489 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: was God in that moment? Yeah? You know, but that 490 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,800 Speaker 1: I don't know why that makes me emotionable. But like 491 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 1: those yes, hearing those things, I'm really gonna cry. I 492 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,239 Speaker 1: don't know why, but hearing those things that hurts me. 493 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 1: I feel like I have to check myself. But what's 494 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 1: one of the hardest things to hear, and I know 495 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 1: why it's hard for me. But when somebody says that 496 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: to you, and I'm like, where was God? Especially you 497 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: work with acute trauma every day, how do you respond 498 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: in those moments? What do you offer a client when 499 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: they're asking where was God when this horrible thing happened? 500 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: That might be a hard question. It's hard I and 501 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 1: again I have about fifty answers to it. I think 502 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 1: what's coming up first is to think about you know, 503 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: we're talking about God and higher power and spiritual essence 504 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,920 Speaker 1: as a nurturer, as a caretaker, as a lover, as 505 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: a like where that's even the way I described that 506 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: story with that client, it was like, oh, this is 507 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: being taken care of. I'm being held, I'm being loved 508 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: and being taken care of right now. And so I 509 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: think that's a really good frame. And life doesn't. The 510 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: wind does that, the sun does that. So all of 511 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: that stuff is a great connecting point for redefining like 512 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 1: if spiritual essence, if higher power is a nurturer and 513 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 1: caretaker of life, then that's a great starting point and 514 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: that's where people get stuck in that question. Well, it 515 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: didn't take care of me there. But thinking about our 516 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 1: example with that client, I met her in the pain, 517 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 1: even though I didn't fix it, take it away, show up. 518 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: I think parents are a really great parent child relationship 519 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 1: is a really great reminder of what it can higher 520 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,159 Speaker 1: power really can mean. A healthy healthy parent child like, 521 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,439 Speaker 1: they aren't like intervening all the time on behalf of 522 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: that child, staying on protected, safe and loved. They actually 523 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,640 Speaker 1: know that they need to wrestle with that a little bit, 524 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: to develop some of their own skills and wrestle with 525 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 1: those realities and find that themselves so that it's not 526 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 1: just handed to them from the parents, not just their parents. 527 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 1: Idea of what if you're protected pent of the time, 528 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: you will fail. For surely when you enter the world 529 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 1: on your own, yeah, life's not gonna feel very good. 530 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,120 Speaker 1: It's gonna be real and so yeah, I think that's 531 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,679 Speaker 1: a great example to use. If a healthy parent is 532 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 1: a good nurture they don't step in on behalf of 533 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:25,240 Speaker 1: everything everything, And they might would if they could, even 534 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 1: if they were seeing it and witnessing it. But even sometimes, 535 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 1: like you know, parents on the playground don't step in 536 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: when other kids are you know, to a certain level 537 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: they let, they watch the kid have to develop those skills, 538 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 1: and there's an evolution that that human will experience when 539 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: they're allowed to move through it. And that's really hard 540 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: to think about with some of the horrific things to 541 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: say that that was allowed. That's where I kind of 542 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: maybe go into a different part of the conversation of essentially, 543 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 1: I'm also allowed to do not very nice things. So 544 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 1: if I'm going to have some beef about where my 545 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: higher power let somebody else hurt me, I've also got 546 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: to have beasts with where he lets me hurt people. 547 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: And I think that is something we don't always think about. 548 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 1: We think, you really let this, but you also let 549 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: will let me. I'm making a choice I and and 550 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: and that's where you know, maybe some deeper you know, 551 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: religious and spiritual ideas like you know, full autonomy and 552 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: free will and all that come into good question. But 553 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: from what we can see, I think that's a good 554 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: based starting point, which is we all are down here 555 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 1: making our choices, and this energy is always there and 556 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: moving through and with whatever is happening, it's a resource 557 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: to tap into. It can give you a sense of 558 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,560 Speaker 1: an internal love and security, and that doesn't always have 559 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,800 Speaker 1: to mean explicit intervention, and so I think of it 560 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,479 Speaker 1: more as of the foundation, like it's the ground on 561 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: which we stand, but like tornadoes happen and the nature 562 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: still does it. It's crazy stuff, and that current, the 563 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: thread that runs through it all, is going to take 564 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: care of it somehow, some way might not be the 565 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 1: way we exactly want absolutely, which is hard. That was great, 566 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: thank you. Okay, So you mentioned the phrase capital tea truth. 567 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 1: We're very familiar on this show by now with little 568 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: Tea and big teach traumas. But what is a capital 569 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: T truth? What does that even mean? Sure, some of 570 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: the ones that I hear the most often in kind 571 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: of like with clients and in my own self are 572 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: things like I am loved, I am good, I am 573 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: safe and secure, I am not alone. A lot of 574 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: that is what people are searching for, like when they 575 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,479 Speaker 1: they're like I want to know that. I want to 576 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: be able to hold on tightly to that, to know 577 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: that I believe it in my heart, not just say 578 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: it in my head. And that's usually And so what 579 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 1: we're doing in therapy is where what are the things 580 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 1: that have gotten in between you and those truths? What 581 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 1: are some of the distorted well somebody has gotten in 582 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: the way what you guys might be more familiar or 583 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: generally in a therapy room, you're going to hear negative 584 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 1: core beliefs and how are we going to reframe those 585 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: into what the truth is and how it's been described 586 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: on here is our life experiences will give us evidence 587 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: that's not rooted in truth a lot of times because 588 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 1: we make meaning out of things and we create distorted 589 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: meaning that gives us distorted beliefs about ourselves. And so 590 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 1: what you're talking about is coming back to the actual 591 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 1: real truth of who you are and what you are. 592 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: So people come in feeling like I'm worthless, and we 593 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: identify what life experiences have given that mis messaging through 594 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: de honoring and devaluing that life, and then we correct 595 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: it and we can say I am valuable, I matter. 596 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: So when people drop in to those capital T truths, 597 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: it's so interesting to watch, right because it's like, where 598 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: did that just come from? From inside of you? And 599 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: it's usually somewhere in our center, heartcore gut. If we 600 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: were to ask like how do you know that, they 601 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: would just I just know, I don't know, but I 602 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 1: don't know which is so yes, because when somebody's like 603 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: I'm worth us, I'm like, how do you know that? 604 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: They're like because this, this, this, this, this is this, 605 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, well we can we can debunk 606 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 1: all of those things. But when someone just says, I 607 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: just know you can't argue that. Yeah, that's I think 608 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: your spirit knows your deepest you, you have just gotten 609 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: reconnected with, and that part of you knows unequivocally your 610 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: value and your security and there within there are not 611 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 1: words human words to express that because it's is not rational, 612 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,959 Speaker 1: it is not reasonable, actually, like how can you prove it? 613 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: You really um, but there's some part of you that 614 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: believes it with every fiber of your being when you're 615 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 1: connected with that and so that you know, we call 616 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,640 Speaker 1: that oftentimes like that spiritual self that we're describing in 617 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: that frame now true self, authentic self, capital s self. 618 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: I think that's just one other word you can grab 619 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,800 Speaker 1: at if you're looking for words to describe your spiritual self, 620 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 1: the spirit within you, your true self, you're higher self, 621 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 1: the part of you that just lives deep deep within 622 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 1: that feels like it's at the root of you. That 623 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 1: of course we don't just walk around in that like 624 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: calms in part of us all the time because we 625 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 1: got shipped to do. But it's the thing that that 626 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 1: hopefully resides at the deepest center UM. And if we 627 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 1: can start to connect more and more with that UM, 628 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 1: we can find resources that get us back there. Then 629 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 1: it's like a muscle, you know, we work that muscle, 630 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 1: it grows. What do you mean? Yeah, So resources that 631 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,719 Speaker 1: connect you with that. So we start hopefully in the 632 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 1: therapy room maybe where it's like you got there and 633 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: they're like, how can I keep that right? How can 634 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 1: I keep believing that feeling that about me? So you 635 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,480 Speaker 1: might find things that really take you there. They get 636 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 1: you to that kind of calm still place where you 637 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: can know I'm okay, I'm secure, I'm safe. So for me, 638 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 1: that would be the sun, uh, like literally looking at 639 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: birds and the sky and nature. I'll hear that a 640 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 1: lot from folks, that nature is a place where we 641 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: can really connect with that because I think there is 642 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,800 Speaker 1: that kind of life force. Knowing that we're being taken 643 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: care of and that the world around us is doing that. 644 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 1: I think it gives us that, you know, whatever gives 645 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 1: you like a full deep breath I think is a 646 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: good indicator. So it might be putting on a candle, 647 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,640 Speaker 1: it might be playing your favorite songs. Pets, the animals, 648 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,799 Speaker 1: they help people get there a lot because there's not 649 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: all that judgment of the relational stuff in there. It's 650 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 1: there's a purity in the essence of what we get 651 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: from animals, where it's like, look at them, they just 652 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,480 Speaker 1: loved me. I must be great, and we kind of 653 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: just believe it. We don't doubt it, we don't question it. 654 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: Trying to think of some I mean, meditation is a 655 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: really big one for me. You know, what came to 656 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,879 Speaker 1: my head is just like softness, which is I don't 657 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,760 Speaker 1: can't even explain it, but like when I'm feeling all 658 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: over the place, I like imagine myself on like a 659 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:27,920 Speaker 1: very very soft, like down mattress with pillows all over me, 660 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 1: and I'm just like sinking and like almost the essence 661 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,920 Speaker 1: of like I'm being taken care of, like I'm waitless 662 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: and I'm just like relaxed. Absolutely, so it can be 663 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: a many different things. Absolutely, drawing art um, there's a 664 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,879 Speaker 1: lot of those things that take us kind of out 665 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: of our thinking and even emotional self that help us 666 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: just settle and where we can feel that question as 667 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,439 Speaker 1: this was a beautiful conversation and one that, like all 668 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 1: the others, will continue to be had. If somebody's hearing 669 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,879 Speaker 1: this and it's like, ah, does makes sense to me? 670 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 1: What do you suggest to somebody that wants to get 671 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,399 Speaker 1: more connected with this part of them? Is it something 672 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 1: in regards to therapy? And this is your opinion, my 673 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 1: seeing your opinion, not not like we said in the beginning, 674 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 1: not like the rules of spirituality, but how would you 675 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: approach a friend who's like, I'm really trying to dig 676 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 1: into that. I think I would suggest something that maybe 677 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 1: is going to feel like the opposite, but like schedule 678 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:27,800 Speaker 1: and routine, integrating in some set way, whatever one of 679 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: those things are, or a couple of those things are 680 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: that help you just be still. That's maybe a really 681 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 1: simple way of starting. Where can I have a moment 682 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: of stillness, where can I feel a sense of joy? 683 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: What's beautiful to me? I think that's a really great 684 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: connector to spirituality and like intentionally sitting tuning into that 685 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 1: um kind of a practice of mindfulness with it, and 686 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,440 Speaker 1: it can be five minutes, but for me, it was 687 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 1: really huge to say when I found some things that 688 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 1: helped me stay more connected with that part of me 689 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: throughout my week in my days. I've really made a 690 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,439 Speaker 1: commitment to myself to say I'm going to do that 691 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: four times a week, even if it's five minutes, yes exactly, 692 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 1: I think that would be really helpful. And and as 693 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: we rout out this conversation, I'm going to invite you 694 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,719 Speaker 1: guys again to what's coming up now as opposed to 695 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 1: what were you thinking and feeling as you turned it on, 696 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,840 Speaker 1: what were you hoping to hear? Um what are you 697 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 1: expecting to hear, and then really taking a second to 698 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,640 Speaker 1: like maybe even write down, like what did I hear 699 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: in that conversation, what came up in me? What things 700 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 1: kind of made me go and like perk up in 701 00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 1: like an icky way, and what things really like made 702 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,920 Speaker 1: you kind of like settle more in like exhale. I 703 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,160 Speaker 1: think those might be good places to really tune into 704 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: as you start kind of coming up and identifying what 705 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: your own spirituality looks like, what your higher power looks like, 706 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 1: what your higher power sounds like and feels like. I 707 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 1: think my last encouragement for people would be if you're 708 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,920 Speaker 1: feeling really frustrated, like I want so much of those 709 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 1: things that you're describing as that come from this, and 710 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,719 Speaker 1: I'm really low or empty on my tank in that 711 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,279 Speaker 1: or I can't think of a thing that helps me 712 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 1: take up deep breath and that feels hopeless or discouraging. 713 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:18,399 Speaker 1: I would maybe invite some people to help you take 714 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 1: a look in your world, um, get some outside perspective on, 715 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:26,000 Speaker 1: like when do other people see you? Maybe in that 716 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,839 Speaker 1: sort of space, so that you can get clues and 717 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,320 Speaker 1: just continue to be an investigator, because if you're still 718 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,440 Speaker 1: living and breathing and moving throughout your day, you're getting 719 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,200 Speaker 1: that stuff. Your body would have been tapped out by 720 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: now if it wasn't. And so just um, maybe be 721 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 1: encouraged to take a smaller look, like zoom in on 722 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,839 Speaker 1: the tainy tiny little things that may seem pointless, um 723 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 1: and they can grow because wherever we put our attention 724 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 1: it will grow well. And then the last thing is 725 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,799 Speaker 1: can you shout out where people can find you and 726 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: give a little blurb about pearls for all of the 727 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,640 Speaker 1: folks that have just a do absolutely so. Pearls of 728 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 1: Recovery is the practice that I do a group. It's 729 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,960 Speaker 1: kind of a program or a curriculum created by us, 730 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,320 Speaker 1: a group that I do with my partner, Hannah Owens, 731 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,760 Speaker 1: who's also a license clinical social worker, and we walk 732 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,480 Speaker 1: people through kind of everything we've talked about here, like 733 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,120 Speaker 1: the stuff that we get caught up in, the behaviors 734 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: that are holding us back, the trauma that maybe is 735 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 1: underneath that that we need to unveil and work through. UM, 736 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,560 Speaker 1: and then our relationships and our attachments, which we've hit 737 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: on in a lot of ways, and that by doing 738 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,279 Speaker 1: those things and peeling back all those layers, the goal 739 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: is to get you to a true connection with your 740 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,880 Speaker 1: core and truest self. And so Pearls of Recovery is 741 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,759 Speaker 1: a group process that helps you hopefully get to that 742 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: place and experience all those things. We're in Nashville, and 743 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 1: UM we run ten weeks at a time. That's how 744 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,920 Speaker 1: long the group lasts, and so we take a waitlist 745 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 1: for each one. When we finished one, we'll start another one. 746 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: And yeah, we're just at the beginning of our of 747 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,080 Speaker 1: our first one of the year, so that will go 748 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,720 Speaker 1: through March and then we should start to get around April. Okay, 749 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:22,359 Speaker 1: So if you are connecting with Tara or anything, you've said, 750 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 1: or if you listen to the episode we did on 751 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: Trauma that had Tara and Hannah go ahead and contact 752 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,280 Speaker 1: them now because there's only ten spots, right, eight eight? 753 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,240 Speaker 1: I mean, why do I say ten ten weeks, ten weeks, 754 00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 1: eight spots so they can contact you? Did you say 755 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: your email Pearls of Recovery at gmail dot com okay 756 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:48,520 Speaker 1: and recovery dot com beautiful so easy, recovery Instagram, Yeah, 757 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: followed on through. I will say before we close, I 758 00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:57,359 Speaker 1: reposted that thing you put up about bipolar disorder. So 759 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,839 Speaker 1: many responses to that saying thank you, thank you, thank you. 760 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,280 Speaker 1: We'll talk about that on another episode, but you post 761 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 1: good content, so I just wanted to say that, Grass, 762 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 1: You're welcome, all right, well, thank you. Thanks Cat