1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,720 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry subject. I need it, 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: and I need it now. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been 4 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: with my man for two years and we have lived 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: together for the past year. We have a really good relationship, 6 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 1: but there's one problem. He will not have any kind 7 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: of sexual relationships with me sexual relations with me, and 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: this has been going on since we started living together. 9 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: He says he wants to wait until we are married, 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: but he has not even proposed. We're not at that 11 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: point in our relationship yet. He told me that when 12 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: God puts it in his heart, he will ask me 13 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: to marry him. When we first started dating, we had 14 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: sex all of the time. I am fifty six years 15 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: old and he is sixty years old, and I think 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: it's a little late in life for him to be 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: practicing celibacy. We sleep in the same bed every night, 18 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: and he won't even cuddle with me because he says 19 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: that leads to intimacy. He sometimes sleeps in the guest 20 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: room if he thinks I'm trying to get frisky with him. 21 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: He wants to He wants us to go to a 22 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: Christian counselor so I can think see things from his 23 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,400 Speaker 1: point of view. I do believe in waiting for sex 24 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: before marriage, but at our age, I have a stressful 25 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: job and some days I just want to come home 26 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: and relieve some stress with some good old sex. If 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: he does not give he does not give me a 28 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: wedding date soon, I don't know if I can stay 29 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: in this sexless relationship. I am ready to move out 30 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: and move on with my life. What do you think 31 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: I should do? Please help now. It's really hard to 32 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: stop with the sex. It's hard once you started, okay, 33 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: but your man has managed to do it for some reason, 34 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: and for a very good one, I might add, because 35 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: he wants to be a good Christian and it doesn't 36 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: matter to him your ages. He says he's waiting for 37 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: God to put it in his heart to propose to you, 38 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: and it was a crazy part. You agree with him 39 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: on a certain level. You say you believe in waiting 40 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: for sex before marriage. Again, you agree with him on 41 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: that point, But it's not because of God that you 42 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: believe uh him or you agree with him. It's not 43 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:20,519 Speaker 1: because of Christianity that you believe him agree with him. 44 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 1: It's because of your ages. Uh, you're fifty six, he's sixty. 45 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: And I just say to you, you cannot have it 46 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: both ways. You can't. Either you're with him on this 47 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: or you're not. And like you say, you're gonna move on, 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: move out of this relationship and move on with your life. 49 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: You gotta make a decision here. If you want to 50 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: cuddle and if you want to relieve your stress, if 51 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: you've had a particularly stressful day and you want to 52 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: have sex with him, well, this is not your guy 53 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 1: because he doesn't want to. He's waiting. Okay, Uh, he's 54 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: cut you off. I mean he did offer you a 55 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: sort of an olive branch, and that's inviting you to 56 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: go to a Christian counseling with him so you can 57 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: see his point of view. So if you don't say 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: his point of view, if you're not feeling what he's 59 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: talking about, you have to move on. This is not 60 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: your man, Steve. This letter is nothing but a letter 61 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: feel with contradictions. I could never get a bead on 62 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: what she wanted or what she was talking about. She's 63 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: been with a man for two years, they've lived together 64 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: for the past year. We had a really good relationship, 65 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: but there's one problem. He would not have any kind 66 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 1: of sexual relationship with me. And this has been going 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: on since we started living together. So they've been dating 68 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: for two years. They lived together for one year. After 69 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: they move in, he stopped having sex with her. He 70 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: says he wants to wait until we are married, but 71 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: he ain't even proposed. So now he said he want 72 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: today today get married. But then you say he hasn't 73 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: even proposed to you, And then you turn around to 74 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: say we're not at that point in our relationship yet. 75 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: The hey are you living with him? Fall? It's so 76 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: much that this block of information right here, not to 77 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: mention that they old and ought to know better on 78 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: all levels. She fifty six, he's sixty, Like this is 79 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: some new stuff. You ain't never heard of this. You've 80 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: been together for two years, it had sex for one year, 81 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: you moved in together. You ain't had no sex. He 82 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: say he gonna wait till he married, but then he 83 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: ain't proposed to you. But then you turn it in 84 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: and say, we ain't at that point in our relationship yet, 85 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 1: while you live with him and want to have sex 86 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: at sixty and you don't want to marry him. He 87 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: told me that when God puts it in his heart, 88 00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: he will ask me to marry him. Oh, now, you 89 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: dragged the Lord into this, so I guess the Lord 90 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: put it in. Its hard to hear you move in. 91 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 1: That was the Lord. I'm just asking. When we first 92 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: started dating, we had sex all the time. Women hold, 93 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: we don't win from a sexless marriage, sexless relationship till 94 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: we had sex all the time. I'm fifty six, he's sixty. 95 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: I think it's a little late in life for him 96 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:40,359 Speaker 1: to be practicing celibacy. Okay, now listen to this. I 97 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: think it's a little late in life for him to 98 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: be practicing celibacy. Let me mark that because we're gonna 99 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: come back to that. We sleep in the same bed 100 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: every night, and he won't even cuddle with me because 101 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: he said that lead to intimacy. He's sometimes sleep in 102 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: the guest room if he thinks I'm trying to get 103 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: frisky with it. He wants us to go to Christian 104 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 1: in counseling so I can see things from his point 105 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: of view. Christian counselor y'all live together, you want sex. 106 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: He don't, y'all, and had sex all the time for 107 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: a whole year he said, wait till he proposed to you. 108 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: You don't think y'all marriage at that stage yet. Man, 109 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: I want to come home and leave some stress with 110 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: some good old sex. Now the hold up if he 111 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: does not give me a wedding date soon, didn't you 112 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: just say, y'all relationship ain't that point yet. I don't 113 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: know if I can stay in this sex situation. I'm 114 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: ready to move I move on with my life. What 115 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 1: you think I should do? I think you should retype this. 116 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: Damn we're sinking the rest of it that when I 117 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: come back. These are two old fools, just two old 118 00:06:54,600 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: fools that they got together and is acting foolish. It's 119 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,919 Speaker 1: a letter of nothing but complex flix. You've been with 120 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: demand two years, you moved in together for one year. 121 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: For the past year, you had no sex sexist marriage 122 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: because he said he wants to wait until we're married. 123 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: But he ain't even proposed to this lady. And then 124 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: she say, but we ain't at that point in our 125 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: relationship yet. Then he told her when God put it 126 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: on his heart, he gonna ask her to marry him. 127 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: Now she says, she fifty six and he's sixty. Then 128 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: she said, this is a good one, y'all. And I 129 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: think it's a little late in life for him to 130 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: be practicing celibacy. M let me go back down in 131 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: the letter, she said this right here. He wants us 132 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: to go to Christian counseling so I can see things 133 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: from his point. I do believe in waiting for sex 134 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: before marriage. What, lady, lady, you just said, I think 135 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: it's a little lady in life for him to be 136 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: practicing celibacy. Then you turn around and said, I do 137 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: believe in waiting for sex before marriage. Then you said, 138 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: but at our age, seeing got ages on it? Now 139 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: how that work? I don't believe in killing nobody. But 140 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: if you ate it though, and you stab somebody that 141 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: ought to be cool, I don't know if I can 142 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: stay in this sexless relationship. I'm ready to move out 143 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: and move on with my life. Lady you fifty six, 144 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,319 Speaker 1: come on, now, where are you going? I'm you know 145 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 1: how hard he is? Fine age at that love, at 146 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: that age, somebody really love you want you. I don't 147 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: know what you ought to do. I don't even care 148 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 1: because you're confused. You do believe in waiting no sex 149 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: for marriage. You think he's crazy for being celebrate at 150 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 1: this age. You he said he don't want to marry 151 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: you till he get married, but he ain't proposed to you. 152 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: But then you said, our relationship is not at that 153 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: point yet. But then you said, I don't know if 154 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: I can say I'm ready to move out and move 155 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: on then he if he don't ask me to marry 156 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: him soon, if I don't get a wedding date soon. 157 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: Really he did ask her to go to counseling. Man. 158 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: Y'all need to break up. That's what y'all need to do. 159 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: And stop typing. Set your computer down. You don't learn, 160 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: don't call it Steve Harvey. Do come, let's stop this 161 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: letter made all that here everybody listening to it out 162 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: there going, what is she talking about? Can he still performed? Steve? 163 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 1: You think, huh? Can he still perform? I don't know, 164 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: Probably not. He can't do what happened in a year? 165 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: You know, it could have lost and she crazy never know, 166 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: I don't take nothing. Ain't attractive, picked up a lot 167 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:29,839 Speaker 1: of weight, Quoa. He could have picked up a lot 168 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: of weight. You know, she could have picked up a 169 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: lot of weight. About the stress though, she's got all 170 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: the stress and it shows in her pains she's really 171 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: going through. She needs to quit her job. Just crazy, 172 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: I'm crazy crazy, it really is. She wants when he's 173 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: not giving her, so she needs to move on. Could 174 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: it meet somebody else for him? It could be, but 175 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: he didn't want her to movie. Yea, she had moved in. 176 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: He laying up there going, I'm beat that right man, 177 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: I don't let her moving this house. He just seen 178 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: some things since you moved in that ain't attractive. IM 179 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: about to show you that you don't. That bad room. 180 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 1: He to walk in behind you, you know, we go, 181 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: Who the hell is she do in here? Money all 182 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: on her? Well, I'm just telling you it could be 183 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:57,560 Speaker 1: on him too. What is that? Bathrooms get your life? 184 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: Have you ever been on somebody house and open up 185 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: their medicine cabinet? Oh? Yeah, yeah, what do you have? Man? 186 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: I'm sitting the people, I'm reading stuff. I said, okay, 187 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: let me. This is because I ain't let me not 188 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: shake nobody's hand, because when that's that's that's serious medicine 189 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 1: right there. But see if he won't even cuddle with 190 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: her because he says that leads to intimacy. He don't 191 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: like her, that's what. He don't like her, and he 192 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: cut the sex out. He thinks she'll leave. Ye, well, 193 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: she needs she needs to leave. M where's she going. Well, 194 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: maybe to someone who would want to you know, she 195 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: could be intimate with her. Yeah, that's anywhere until they 196 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: find out she crazy. I'm not letting you blame this 197 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: all on her. Sure you read this letter? I did. 198 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: We will anybody type this letter, read it over and 199 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: the impressed seeing. Yeah, all right, listen, thank you, thank you, 200 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: thank you. Steve. Please email us or Instagram what's your 201 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: thoughts on today's strawberry letter? At Steve Harvey FM or 202 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: at My Girl Shirley. You're listening to the Steve Harvey 203 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: Morning Show.