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Speaker 1: Hi, I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and

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Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling raivalry.

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Speaker 2: No, no, sibling.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that with your mouth.

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Speaker 2: Revely.

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Speaker 1: That's good.

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Speaker 2: My name is Oliver Hudson in case you guys didn't

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Speaker 2: know that, And I have a future icon sitting next

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Speaker 2: to me right now. She don't say anything, just keep

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Speaker 2: it quiet.

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Speaker 1: So after years of.

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Speaker 2: Grinding it out in Hollywood, okay, this woman she just

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Speaker 2: won us over. As Kate Pearson on This is Us.

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Speaker 2: She was a fan favorite, and now of course she's

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Speaker 2: turning heads again in Netflix's new hit The Hunting Wives,

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Speaker 2: which I have started. I'm three episodes in and.

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Speaker 1: Uh, a little bit spicy. It open and appropriate.

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Speaker 3: There's a little bit of nudity, I would say, but

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Speaker 3: it's good, it's amazing. It's just it's this tangled web

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Speaker 3: and Southern Secrets's betrayal, there's murder.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, let's just get to the point. Chrissy Metz is

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Speaker 2: sitting next to me. Well, this is fun because in

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Speaker 2: person has sort of died as far as the podcasting goes.

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Speaker 2: I've been doing it with my sister for years, and

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Speaker 2: it started before COVID, where everything was in person. Then

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Speaker 2: it went to zoom. Then everyone gets so fucking comfortable

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Speaker 2: with zoom that no one wants to do anything in

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Speaker 2: Persone pans right, exactly right. I mean in my podcast,

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Speaker 2: I'm fully naked.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell people? You just goes that information?

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Speaker 4: So we did.

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Speaker 1: I had Michelle Obama and her brother on.

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Speaker 2: The podcast, and she was like, don't She's like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to keep this super casual with her brother,

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Speaker 2: Craig casual, Like it's like the soars the dress goes,

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Speaker 2: because it's the whole thing. Yeah, you know, obviously it's

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Speaker 2: Michelle Obama Hello. And I decided to go against that

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Speaker 2: and I suited up and like slicked my hair. I

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Speaker 2: looked like a young Republican and she's like, what are

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Speaker 2: you doing. I'm like God, And then I said, now look,

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Speaker 2: it's fun up top. And then I backed away and

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Speaker 2: I was in my underwear. I was like, but it's

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Speaker 2: a little bit, you know, it's a little party down below,

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Speaker 2: and she.

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Speaker 3: Shot with.

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Speaker 1: Obligatory No. It worked, Okay, it works.

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Speaker 2: It was funny, it was funny. I think it was funny.

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Speaker 5: If it falls flat and you're just like, it's like

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Speaker 5: the most awkward moment. You're like that, that's not what

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Speaker 5: I've been thinking about.

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Speaker 1: Just click, the zoom goes off like oh okay. Then

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Speaker 1: you get like a terrible ladder.

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Speaker 2: So we were talking about, first of all, Chris Mets

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Speaker 2: is here. Yeah, yay, thank you for being here. Finally me, finally,

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Speaker 2: I know, because we've had sterling on, we've had Mandy,

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Speaker 2: and we've had Chris song, you know, saving the best

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Speaker 2: for last.

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Speaker 6: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I totally not to say that.

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Speaker 3: Milo.

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Speaker 2: You know, he's just rejected me a thousand times. No,

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Speaker 2: he's busy. We were talking about age, and before we

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Speaker 2: started rolling, you asked me if I cared about age.

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Speaker 2: So my birthday is September seventh.

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Speaker 5: Oh your virgo, I'm September twenty ninth, are you but

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Speaker 5: virgo rising libra?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, do you know what your rising is?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but I just had my chart done

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Speaker 2: by these girls called the Astro Twins.

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Speaker 1: Wait, so you don't know, you're They throw so much

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Speaker 1: out that I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I have voice notes from her saying what on this?

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Speaker 2: And I'm that they were on the podcast and it

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Speaker 2: was incredible. Into it on the incredible and I'm a

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Speaker 2: bunch of there's a bunch of moons, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know what the hell there's a bunch of moons. There's

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Speaker 2: rising things.

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Speaker 1: Well, the ascending is what people view you as.

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Speaker 5: So I'm Virgo ascending, which means that when people view me, okay,

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Speaker 5: but it depends on your moon. So my moon's in Gemini, Okay.

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Speaker 5: So that's like two different people. So I don't know

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Speaker 5: who I am.

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Speaker 2: I don't know who I am either.

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Speaker 1: All I know is that I'm more Libra apparently than Virgo.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so I'm more Virgo than I am Libra. But

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Speaker 5: Libra's my star sign.

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Speaker 2: We're twins, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Weird.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, you know, I don't care about the numbers so much,

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Speaker 2: but when fifty hits, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Know, Listen, I'm about to be forty five. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh okay, but then I also don't

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Speaker 1: feel forty five, and like what does that even mean

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Speaker 1: to feel forty five?

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Speaker 2: No? Well, I wanted to talk to you about like

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Speaker 2: sort of your your wellness journey and all that, because

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Speaker 2: kind of on one myself.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what does that mean?

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Speaker 4: Kind of well, I'm on and off sure, of course,

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Speaker 4: because we're human, but I want to stay on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the whole.

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Speaker 2: And I just decided I want to be in the

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Speaker 2: best shape of my life at fifty. Oh so now

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Speaker 2: I'm on supplements, I'm thinking about peptie and all this stuff.

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Speaker 2: So I just wanted to I know I've been talking

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Speaker 2: for now, but I wanted to get your journey because

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Speaker 2: I want to it coincides possibly with some of the

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Speaker 2: things I'm trying to accomplish honestly as I'm getting older.

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Speaker 2: And so where did this start for you? How ingrained

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Speaker 2: are you in it? And how hard is it to

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Speaker 2: stay on it? Because that's the hard Yeah, consistency. Consistency. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So, I mean I've always been a chabby girl since

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Speaker 5: I was literally an infant, and so it was always

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Speaker 5: sort of a point of contention, and because there's such

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Speaker 5: a negative outlook on people who are away, because if

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Speaker 5: you're aware, you're absolutely unhealthy, which is not true. However,

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Speaker 5: as you age obviously like all the perimenopausal stuff, Like

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Speaker 5: my mom didn't teach me that stuff, and I don't

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Speaker 5: know that she even wanted to because it was sort

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Speaker 5: of like that don't sort of talk about it kind

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Speaker 5: of thing. She's tough, kids are seen and not heard

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Speaker 5: kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: So she don't think it's change.

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Speaker 5: Yes, so perhaps now she would have explained more to me.

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Speaker 5: But the things that I'm figuring out and the stuff

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Speaker 5: and the supplements, the magnesium, Like who knew magnesium could

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Speaker 5: change your life?

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Speaker 1: We think God, But all the things that explain really.

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Speaker 2: Quickly how magnesium does work.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so, I mean for me, it helps with sleep

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Speaker 5: and heart health. Interest I suffer with anxiety.

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Speaker 2: I'm on lexapro Okay, twenty milligrams.

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Speaker 1: Okay, do you feel like it's yeah, you guys tried

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Speaker 1: to go.

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Speaker 2: I tried to go off of it, and it spiraled

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Speaker 2: me into like the craziest place ever, because weaning off

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Speaker 2: of a lex pro specifically can get nutty. Oh okay,

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Speaker 2: and then I had to go do a job, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like fuck this, Like, yeah, I can't go work

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Speaker 2: like this. I'm a crazy person.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's just sort of like you don't

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Speaker 5: know what you don't know, and the more that you

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Speaker 5: dig you find like, oh, I need peptides potentially and

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Speaker 5: magnesium and supplements and like I mean no acids because

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Speaker 5: if you want to have like pure protein as opposed

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Speaker 5: to like all the junk that's in a lot of

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Speaker 5: protein powders, you know, And because our business is so weird,

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Speaker 5: like we get up at four in the morning, we

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Speaker 5: work eighteen hours, how do you fit the food in

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Speaker 5: and how do you fit the appropriate food in that

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Speaker 5: you feel associated like all of the things.

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Speaker 1: And obviously I didn't.

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Speaker 5: Know that until I was an actual working actor. But

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Speaker 5: I've always been sort of chasing contentment with my body.

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Speaker 5: So I've yet to really find that, but I'm certainly

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Speaker 5: in a better place mentally and emotionally.

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Speaker 2: How do you start that journey to be content with

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Speaker 2: your body? And how does it get better? Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's like two steps forward a couple steps back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally for sure. Yes, So it takes.

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Speaker 2: A lot of mental fortitude to be able to take

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Speaker 2: those those new two steps forward.

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Speaker 5: Like when I wrote that memoir years ago, learning to

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Speaker 5: Love Yourself for who you Are Today, that was like

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Speaker 5: not just like a little quip kind of catchy title,

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Speaker 5: it was like, I'm literally learning to accept myself for

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Speaker 5: who I am right now because if you don't, you

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Speaker 5: can't get to the place want to be because you're

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Speaker 5: in this cycle, the cyclical crazy fair school that you're like,

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Speaker 5: I hate myself. I should eat, and now I hate

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Speaker 5: myself for eating. Oh I should eat more. Like you're like,

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Speaker 5: you just can't get off the ride. So I have

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Speaker 5: attempted to, like get off the ride, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I don't like that ride, but sometimes I like the ride,

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Speaker 5: or sometimes I think I like the ride, and I'll

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Speaker 5: stand by the ride, but then I'll get off quicker

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Speaker 5: now than I ever had before.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, that's progress. That is a forward

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Speaker 1: movement direction.

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Speaker 5: And so I try to just have grace around it

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Speaker 5: and with myself because I'm like, I say that to

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Speaker 5: all my friends and my family, people I love, but

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Speaker 5: I don't have it for myself.

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Speaker 1: So patients and grace, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, it's not so true. I'm the best advice

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Speaker 2: giver of all time. I've been through a billion years

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Speaker 2: of therapy. I can be a therapist, right, and people

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Speaker 2: come to me naturally to help, you know, just because

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Speaker 2: I have my own personal insights. But can I follow them?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Myself now right right? You know, I'm like you know,

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Speaker 2: practice what you preached. What the are you doing? I

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Speaker 2: know it's about self love, self worth and the and

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Speaker 2: self compassion is what you're saying. Yeah, give yourself some grace, yea,

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Speaker 2: you know, give yourself a little leeway. Yeah, don't be

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Speaker 2: so hard.

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Speaker 5: I had to give myself compassion that I never received.

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Speaker 5: And so that's like, you know, my dad when he

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Speaker 5: passed away, we were estranged, and I realized, like to

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Speaker 5: make like a living amends. It was to myself because

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Speaker 5: of the love I never got from him that I'm

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Speaker 5: still seeking through other people and the validation and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I have to love myself the way he couldn't, and

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Speaker 5: that is so hard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's not dissimilar. My dad didn't pass,

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Speaker 2: but he wasn't around. Yeah, Kurt came into my life

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Speaker 2: and became my father. But there's something to be said

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Speaker 2: about your biological course and so same thing. It's trying

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Speaker 2: to fill this void that you can't there's whether it

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Speaker 2: be food or sex or drugs or whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: you can't feel it. You can't plug it. No, there's nothing.

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Speaker 2: There's no substance that plug it, right, you know, even

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Speaker 2: though you keep fucking trying.

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Speaker 1: Oh with everything, like oh not this one?

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Speaker 5: Yeah and yeah, and that's I think the ride, right,

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Speaker 5: the ride that you want to get off of. So yeah,

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Speaker 5: I mean some weeks, some months are great and then

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Speaker 5: some days I'm like and then that's when you have

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Speaker 5: the grace for yourself. But it's also just like sort

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Speaker 5: of acquiring all this data collection.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, okay, I'll use this. Okay, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: work for me. I use that.

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Speaker 5: I've been doing more strength training, which makes me feel like, oh,

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Speaker 5: because I've always wanted to be Lucy Lawless, Okay, like

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Speaker 5: can I please.

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Speaker 1: Have her body things? Yea.

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Speaker 5: And my boyfriend lifts weights and he's very consistent.

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Speaker 1: He was also in the Nigerian Navy.

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Speaker 5: Like very different from like my inconsistency is like he's

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Speaker 5: very regimented and scheduled, and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, this is good.

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Speaker 5: This is good to see it in practice in a

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Speaker 5: positive way and it never enforces anything like in fact,

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Speaker 5: he's like when I was.

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Speaker 1: In South Africa, He's like, are they feeding you? I'm like, Babe,

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Speaker 1: I missing a meal.

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Speaker 5: But it's a different cultural thing in Nigeria, like you know,

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Speaker 5: so here I mean literally.

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Speaker 1: One of his sisters said.

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Speaker 5: She prayed to gain weight, she prayed to get fat.

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Speaker 5: I was like, I prayed to get skinny.

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Speaker 1: Like this is crazy.

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Speaker 5: It's just so different here, and of course in our

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Speaker 5: business even more magnified.

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Speaker 1: So it's wonderful.

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Speaker 5: And I keep saying when people ask like, oh, how

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Speaker 5: is your relationship, and it's like there's a love that

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Speaker 5: I haven't experienced before. That's like, He's like, I would

250
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Speaker 5: never want anything to be removed and nothing gained, just

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Speaker 5: as you are, and that gives me the liberty to say, oh,

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Speaker 5: I can love myself enough. You love me enough that

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Speaker 5: I don't have to do anything. But now I want

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Speaker 5: to for the longevity of my health, which is a

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Speaker 5: whole other thing.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I know, how much did you use because

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Speaker 2: you're funniest shit, right, So how much did you use

259
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Speaker 2: humor and self deprecation to deflect how you were feeling?

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Speaker 5: It's like it's like my knee jerk default to the

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Speaker 5: point where I think I saw someone talk about how

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Speaker 5: self deprecating humor is just like the worst thing you

263
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Speaker 5: can do.

264
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Speaker 2: I can like jam for myself.

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Speaker 5: I need to make fun of myself first before you do,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna beat you to the point like I'll talk

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Speaker 5: about my family, but don't you dare you know, it's

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Speaker 5: that thing. And so I realize, I'm like, oh, our

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Speaker 5: subconscious still hears that stuff, and we're still putting ourselves

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Speaker 5: down just in the event someone might just that.

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Speaker 1: Negative self talk.

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Speaker 2: Even though it's couched in humor, it's still it's still

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Speaker 2: fucking you up.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you know, like I use food as a

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Speaker 5: protection and whether whatever we're filling the void with. It's like,

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Speaker 5: we have a coping mechanism, and it might have worked

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Speaker 5: for many years.

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Speaker 1: And then we realize, oh, this ain't this. Ain't it anymore?

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Speaker 1: Like we've got to figure this out in a different way.

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Speaker 2: And I think generally too, people who judge, whether they

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Speaker 2: judge you, judge me, judge anyone, everyone has some sort

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Speaker 2: of a coping mechanism. We're all afflicted one way or another. Everybody.

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Speaker 5: I went to a place called on Site, which is

284
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Speaker 5: outside of Nashville. But you do, okay, So there is

285
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Speaker 5: a particular exercise that we used and you you speak

286
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Speaker 5: to the person so like say, you became my father,

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Speaker 5: and I got to say all the things I never

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Speaker 5: got to say to him, and then you get to

289
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Speaker 5: then respond and say I didn't know, I'm sorry, Like,

290
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Speaker 5: and you hear things that you never would have heard

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Speaker 5: from your parents, and I was like, like it was

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Speaker 5: so cathartic. It was like or there were two men

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Speaker 5: in our particular small group and they were so complimentary

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Speaker 5: and so kind and they're like, oh no, I could

295
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Speaker 5: cry now. They're like, I would be so proud to

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Speaker 5: be your father, and I was like, that's.

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Speaker 1: It took me out, I gotta go.

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Speaker 5: But it was so helpful because if you haven't heard

299
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Speaker 5: these things and you've it's like the one thing you

300
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Speaker 5: needed to hear, wanted to hear it.

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Speaker 1: It really can make a difference. You know.

302
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Speaker 2: I wish I could say to my mom or Kate

303
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Speaker 2: or Aaron, my wife, and I'm way better now, but

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Speaker 2: this is kind of before, Like I just want to

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Speaker 2: say that I love you so fucking much and I'm

306
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Speaker 2: so happy to be with you and I feel lucky.

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Speaker 2: Easy to say, but I would approach that and be

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Speaker 2: like I can't say, I feel like I want to

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Speaker 2: like do this.

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Speaker 1: Do you think it's.

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Speaker 5: Because you don't know what the reaction is going to be,

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Speaker 5: or that you're going to disappoint them or.

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Speaker 2: I think it has to be subconscious because it's because

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Speaker 2: you know, cerebrally in the moment, of course, I know.

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Speaker 2: I imagine my wife was like, eh, fuck you right, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know what's don't ever say that again. I mean,

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Speaker 2: then there's no chance it would only be positive. But

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Speaker 2: there's a vulnerability there that was very hard for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: to sort of express writing easy. I could gush. The

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Speaker 2: in person stuff was difficult.

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Speaker 5: Well, yeah, like vocalizing is very than having it secretly

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Speaker 5: in your journals exactly.

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Speaker 2: Or I can send it to them. They can read

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Speaker 2: the writing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, right, right right, But there is something different about saying.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah and owning the words.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, yeah. Let's go back to your childhood anyway, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because this all relates, we're just going backwards.

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Speaker 1: Yes, where did you grow up?

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Speaker 3: So?

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Speaker 5: I was born in Homestead, Florida, But when I was

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Speaker 5: six months old, we moved to Japan. My dad was

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Speaker 5: in the navy. Wow, So we were there until I

334
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Speaker 5: was almost nine. My parents divorced, we moved back to Gainesville, Florida,

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Speaker 5: I don't even know why of all the places, and

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Speaker 5: then moved.

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Speaker 1: To la when I was twenty.

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Speaker 2: Did you do you have siblings? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm one of five, the model, of course, the middle.

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Speaker 1: You're the middle, of course, of course, can you no shocker?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was my oldest sister, brother and I and

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Speaker 5: then my parents divorced. My mom had two other daughters,

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Speaker 5: and so I had the experience of being the baby.

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Speaker 1: But like.

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Speaker 5: The lore states in our family that my dad really

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Speaker 5: just wanted nine boys for a baseball team.

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Speaker 1: So a little disappointed two girls came in only one

348
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Speaker 1: one a boy.

349
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Speaker 5: So they were always very close, and I felt like

350
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 5: I could never measure up, Like, you know, I was like,

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Speaker 5: I don't even remember as a kid having a relationship

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Speaker 5: with my father. I saw a picture of me like

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Speaker 5: swinging with him, and I was like, when did that happen?

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Speaker 7: Right?

355
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Speaker 1: Who was that girl?

356
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 7: Yeah?

357
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Speaker 1: That's me?

358
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Speaker 5: So it'sz are to sort of look back.

359
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 1: But like, growing up in Japan was so cool.

360
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 2: Wow, So you grew up in Japan. Your parents were

361
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Speaker 2: still together when you were in Japan with your dad.

362
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Speaker 5: Yeah, for about eight and a half years, and my

363
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 5: grandmother lived with us, my mom's mom, and she was

364
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 5: like my saving grace, and so she was like like

365
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 5: my little best friend and she would picked me from

366
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Speaker 5: school and like a lunchtime and make me a little

367
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 5: girl cheese and some ovaltine, you know whatever, and walking.

368
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Speaker 2: Back to school.

369
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Speaker 5: Oh, we love especially with your grand Yeah. So yeah,

370
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 5: that was very very helpful.

371
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Speaker 2: And instruments you think it was just a gender thing.

372
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 2: You think it was because you were a girl.

373
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Speaker 5: I mean yes, but there also felt something a little deeper,

374
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,280
Speaker 5: and then I thought it is as an adult, I'm like,

375
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 5: did my mom sort of construct these these thoughts or

376
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 5: because she was so upset with him even though when

377
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,320
Speaker 5: he passed away, she was still in love with him,

378
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 5: even though he was very unfaithful. For many, many years,

379
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 5: my grandmother and I were very close. She instilled faith

380
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,680
Speaker 5: in my life. But I have conversations with my older

381
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,239
Speaker 5: sister all the time that she's like, I don't know

382
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 5: that dad didn't try to reach out to you, because

383
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:31,560
Speaker 5: I remember getting my high school graduation announcement to invite

384
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,000
Speaker 5: him the invitation and it was return to send her.

385
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 1: So all my life I've replayed the tape of he

386
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,880
Speaker 1: didn't want to come, He like, send the invitation.

387
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,480
Speaker 5: It's one thing to get it in and throw it away,

388
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 5: but to return to send her, and so my sister's like,

389
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,679
Speaker 5: do you think maybe Mom didn't want us to have

390
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,639
Speaker 5: a relationship with And I just can't believe that, Like,

391
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:51,960
Speaker 5: I don't think that to be true.

392
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 1: Maybe she was protecting us.

393
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,359
Speaker 5: But I remember the last moment I had with my

394
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,159
Speaker 5: dad really, he came to school shop for me. I

395
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 5: think it was whatever year Robinhood Prince of These was out.

396
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 5: We saw that in the movie Theater.

397
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 1: I think I was, I.

398
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 5: Mean everything, like, like, oh my god, I'm obsessed with

399
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,360
Speaker 5: that movie. And maybe because it's nostalgic because I had

400
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 5: that bonding experience my dad and fine, I love that.

401
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 1: Yeah.

402
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 5: So anyway, I just that's like sort of the last

403
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 5: memory I have of my dad and I ever having

404
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 5: just like any sort of connection.

405
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 1: And I think that was third or fourth grade. Oh

406
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:37,399
Speaker 1: really yeah, And I know he remarried a woman like

407
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,159
Speaker 1: right after he divorced my mom and then got married again,

408
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 1: and my brother was really close with them and ended

409
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 1: up moving down to Miami with them.

410
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 2: Really, yes, were you close with your brother?

411
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 1: Not really? No?

412
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,639
Speaker 2: No, no? And what about your older sister?

413
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 5: So she she was sort of close to my dad,

414
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 5: but they got into this big fight and my sister

415
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 5: is still and nails, and my dad went to like

416
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 5: put his finger in her face and she pushed him

417
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 5: and he was like, you need to get out of

418
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 5: this house. And she was seventeen, so she went and

419
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:12,560
Speaker 5: did her own thing.

420
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 2: Are you tight with your sister?

421
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,959
Speaker 5: Yeah, like all my sisters and I are close. They

422
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 5: all live in Florida. So I've been very intentional about

423
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 5: giving back to my family and to my friends because

424
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 5: they were there for me. My friends, particularly here in LA,

425
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 5: were there for me when I was broke as I joke,

426
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 5: couldn't pay attention.

427
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: And my family, I just feel they're.

428
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 5: My family, you know, and I want to give back,

429
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,120
Speaker 5: And like my therapist is like, yeah, but they didn't

430
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 5: spend twenty years in LA and break their backs and

431
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 5: go through everything you went through, Like you're not Santa Claus,

432
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 5: You're not the bank. And I'm like, yeah, I know,

433
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,359
Speaker 5: but like the life that I get to live, like,

434
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 5: I want them to share in it. But then what

435
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 5: ends up happening is then they're reseemful that I give

436
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,640
Speaker 5: too much because they can't give back, which I don't

437
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 5: need anything back. It's more just like if you're happy,

438
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 5: I'm happy, great, but you create like a precedent and

439
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 5: then sometimes you create a monster. Yeah, and that breaks

440
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 5: my heart because I'm like, I know it just came

441
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:17,360
Speaker 5: from a good place, but damn it, Like I cannot

442
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 5: just be an endless source of this because it's not

443
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 5: even not only is it potentially not appreciated, but like

444
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 5: it's now creating a wedge.

445
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:42,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, so your mom has what is it called aphasia

446
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 6: from her stroke.

447
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 2: Were you were you ever able to actually sit down

448
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 2: with your mom and get answers that you wanted before.

449
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's interesting you asked that because there was right

450
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 5: before this is Us started. I was back home in

451
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 5: Florida and I was so anxious. I was like, they're

452
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 5: going to fire me. I can't do this all the

453
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 5: all the things. And I remember having a conversation with

454
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 5: my mom because I was very, very anxious and I

455
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 5: don't know having on the subject, but I was like,

456
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 5: you know, I felt like, you guys didn't do this,

457
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,919
Speaker 5: you didn't do that, and this is where my anxiety

458
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 5: stems from. And this was before her stroke, and she

459
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 5: was like, Christy, I lovingly want to say, like I

460
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 5: don't think that was what really happened. Like our perspective

461
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 5: is different, and I was like, what do you mean,

462
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 5: there's another perspective not just about me.

463
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 1: And so it was.

464
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 5: Nice to have that conversation with her because I felt like, oh,

465
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,160
Speaker 5: I didn't consider what they might have gone through or

466
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 5: our parents doing the best they could, and it was

467
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 5: nice to have that. It wasn't as in depth as

468
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 5: I had hoped, but it definitely was important and needed

469
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 5: and providential.

470
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, one more thing and then we'll go to

471
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 2: some more fun stuff. But I love this shit.

472
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 7: I love.

473
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: You know.

474
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 2: When your dad did pass, And I think this is

475
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 2: pretty relatable to a lot of people who have parents

476
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 2: who have are strange. Yeah, I wonder you know again,

477
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 2: I have a more of a relationship with my dad

478
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: right now, you know. But it had been twelve, thirteen,

479
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 2: fourteen years, and I would go through this in my head,

480
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: like if he dies, what am I going to feel?

481
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and I would.

482
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't put myself in that situation or put myself

483
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: in that feeling because I really didn't know how to.

484
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: I didn't know what they're feel like, Well, I've lived

485
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 2: you've kind of lived it.

486
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 5: There's an obligation of like, oh, they're my father. They're

487
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 5: it's biological or blood related, but you don't have a

488
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 5: relationship with them, so you really grieve a relationship. Or

489
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 5: for me, I grieved the relationship I didn't have, and

490
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 5: so that was hard. It was like, did I miss

491
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 5: an opportunity? Did did the information given to me?

492
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: Was that incorrect? Did I have this idea?

493
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 5: Did I keep replaying this tape that wasn't true and

494
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 5: there was nothing I could do about it? Now, Interestingly enough,

495
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 5: I went to this medium and she said, your father

496
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 5: keeps coming around and bringing you gifts, just like all

497
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 5: I see is like tons and tons of presents with

498
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 5: these beautiful bows all around you. For all the times,

499
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 5: oh no, for all the times like he wasn't there,

500
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 5: and all the times that he's there, like apologies and gifts.

501
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's that's very healing, that's

502
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: very sweet.

503
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 5: And depending on if you want to believe it or not,

504
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 5: but I know that nobody's all bad and nobody's all good,

505
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 5: and so I really chose to believe that like he

506
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 5: did the best he could. It's unfortunate that we didn't

507
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 5: have the relationship I wanted, but I can redirect that

508
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 5: and hopefully, you know, heal it in a different way.

509
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: But I certainly was sad.

510
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 5: I mean it was like the last time I hung

511
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 5: out with him, one of like the first questions he

512
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 5: asked me was like, well, how much did I make

513
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 5: on this as us per episode?

514
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: I was like, this is not.

515
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 5: Good, Okay, this is this is the kind of stuff

516
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 5: I'm talking about because I don't want to have a

517
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 5: relationship with you. And then I'm thinking, well, what if

518
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 5: that was the only thing that he could sort of

519
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 5: ask about. Like what I wanted him to.

520
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: Say was I didn't even know you're interested in acting?

521
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: Tell me about that.

522
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 5: Like, but then when I was watching and observing him

523
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 5: with you know, with everybody, I was like, oh, he's gregarious,

524
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 5: he's smart, he's clever. I'm maybe more like him than I, right.

525
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh, okay, yeah, nobody is.

526
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 5: All bad, and we're all troubled, and we're all just

527
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 5: trying to figure this thing out, and we have this

528
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 5: blueprint of life, and we're.

529
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 2: Like, oh, what if some people choose to go deep

530
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: and figure it out and some people just say fuck it?

531
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 2: This is they aren't able the true acceptance of who

532
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 2: they are, even if they're bad, you know, so.

533
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: It's like, is that good or bad? I accept I

534
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: am I'm an asshole, you know. You're like, oh no,

535
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: you just don't want to change it. People don't want

536
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 1: to change you're scared. Yeah, so it was. But he

537
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: also was very loved.

538
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 5: He had a lot of friends and his is widow Maria,

539
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 5: really sweet woman was obsessed with him, and thank god,

540
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 5: because he really needed someone to dote on him like

541
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 5: that was My mom did that with him. She like

542
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 5: kept him underweight to stay in the navy, like she really. Yeah,

543
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 5: so there, it was cool that I got to see

544
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 5: other aspects of him, even though he's definitely fallible.

545
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 2: And yeah, so anyway, I would say this, you should

546
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: write another book on your dad and those feelings and

547
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 2: we title it return to Sender.

548
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 4: Oh hey, come on, I'm gonna have to give your

549
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 4: credit for the acknowledgements.

550
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: All about your dad.

551
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 5: And I did write a song called Daddy's Girl, did

552
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 5: you yeah, about being more like him than I wanted

553
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 5: to give an admit.

554
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: So cool.

555
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 5: Musically, yeah, musically it's like very cathartic for.

556
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 1: Me that way.

557
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 2: So getting into all that, Yes, how did you get

558
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 2: into the arts?

559
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: You know, acting singing. I mean, I okay.

560
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 5: So yesterday someone asked me like, how did you know

561
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 5: you were an actor? And I was like, I was

562
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 5: writing in a journal and I had this epiphany.

563
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I've been acting all my life.

564
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: I've been acting like I've I'm okay. I've been acting

565
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: like I'm happy. I've been acting like I'm loved.

566
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 5: You know, I'm like, oh, oh, I didn't need to

567
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 5: go to Carnegie Mellon, Like I didn't need to go

568
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 5: to NYC.

569
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: Like I wish I did, but I didn't. But I

570
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 1: think it was moreover, like.

571
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 5: I have such empathy for people, and that's where I

572
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 5: think real acting is, Like that's why we are attracted

573
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 5: to it, because even if you're the villain, or you're

574
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 5: the in between or whatever, protagonist acting whatever, like, you

575
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 5: have to have empathy and understanding of why the motivations

576
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 5: are the motivations. But music was my first love, and

577
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 5: I my family couldn't afford to like rent an instrument

578
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 5: for band, and all the cool kids were in band,

579
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 5: and all the cute girls, all the cute skinny girls

580
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 5: had the piccolos and the flutes and the clarinets.

581
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: And they were like, we have the baritone. I said,

582
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 1: I will not be the biggest chubbiest girl in sixth grade.

583
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: And with the baritone for share setting up, they're setting me,

584
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: even setting me up on my life set and a failure.

585
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 5: And so I was like, I can't do this, and

586
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 5: my mom's like, well, I can't rent it anyway, and

587
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 5: I was like great, and you're not buying it. So

588
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 5: I ended up joining choir and I was like, oh,

589
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 5: I can be one of many that sounds like one

590
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 5: voice but also sort of hide but also still like saying.

591
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 5: And music was always prevalent in our family growing up,

592
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,719
Speaker 5: and I was yeah, like Motown to like the Doobie Brothers,

593
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 5: like everything, and so I've always been influenced by music.

594
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: But I never thought like I was going to sing.

595
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: I never thought that. I I mean, I had no

596
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: self esteem middle school. My stepfather was very difficult. He

597
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 1: was very hard on me.

598
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 5: My mom remarried, and ironically, when he passed away two

599
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 5: years ago, I was able to write him a letter

600
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 5: and for give him for everything that he's done.

601
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: But he was more of a father to me than

602
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: my own father.

603
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:10,719
Speaker 4: So it's a wild conflict. The whole yeah, I know,

604
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 4: but you would You wouldn't You would not change it. No,

605
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 4: I'm saying that because I know and I wouldn't either.

606
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 4: It is all led you to who you are.

607
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: It helps me every.

608
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 5: Single scene that I'm ever in, every single song that

609
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 5: I write, or the people that I talked to, you

610
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 5: might be going with me the same thing.

611
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: Yes, I would not change it. It was difficult in

612
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: the moment, I'm like, what the actual is going on?

613
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 5: So it really sort of came out of choir that

614
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 5: I really fell in love with music, and then I

615
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 5: was like, oh, okay, I can sight read.

616
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: Okay, this isn't that, And.

617
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 5: I wish I would have taken you know, piano lessons

618
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 5: or violet or some sort of instrument. But it really

619
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 5: wasn't until high school when everyone's like, oh my gosh,

620
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 5: we're going to nominate you for class clown and the supperlatives.

621
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: And I was like why, Like what?

622
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 5: Because I was an angsty teenager very I was yes,

623
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 5: like my stepdad was very hard on me, and so

624
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 5: instead of like turning inward in a soft, sweet way,

625
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 5: I was like just yeah, a brat and talk back

626
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 5: to my teachers in middle school like eighth grade. I'll

627
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 5: never poor miss Smith. I was such a mean girl

628
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 5: to her, and I feel terrible for it. I have

629
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 5: apologized and I hope she hears me. But it's like,

630
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 5: because I knew that I was going to make people laugh,

631
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I'll get attention that I don't

632
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 5: get at home, and it's mostly positive. Yeah, but this

633
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 5: isn't this isn't good. But the Dean mismetters who I am.

634
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: I am obsessed with. She changed my life.

635
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 5: Anytime I would get like a referral, like a write up,

636
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 5: She's like, come to my office and you can answer

637
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 5: the phones.

638
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: And she knew that I was troubled and she knew

639
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: like I just needed like positive love and positive reinforcement.

640
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: So she was so, those are the special people. She's

641
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 2: the best.

642
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: Well beyond yah the act, Yes.

643
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 2: They dig deeper and understand why.

644
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,719
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, thank god for her.

645
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 5: So yeah, But it wasn't really until high scho senior

646
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 5: year of high school where I actually had enough guts

647
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 5: to audition for chamber choir because I wanted to do

648
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 5: theater and all the cool kids were doing theater who were.

649
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: Like taped for Broadway, and I was like whoa. But

650
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: I never thought I could do it.

651
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 5: I was just so interested because I was obsessed with

652
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 5: Jim Carrey and Jack Black. I was like, I'm gonna

653
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 5: be on s n L and I'm gonna be the

654
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 5: female version that didn't happen and so not well, it's

655
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 5: still time.

656
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: I guess it's still time.

657
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 7: But like you could be on SNL, I could you

658
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 7: could be on not well beyond it, but you're going

659
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 7: to be on it.

660
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: I think it's time. Give me a little come on.

661
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: I'd be so nervous. Oh okay. First of all, Stirling

662
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: was on it and he was like, it was so stressful.

663
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 5: And then my old client, because I was I told

664
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 5: you an agent, I go, she is a cast member.

665
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 5: Now she's like it is full throttle all the time.

666
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 5: I mean she loves it, but it's stressful and things

667
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 5: are like being rewritten, as like the Q cards are

668
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 5: going up and they're like oh what oh and then

669
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 5: be funny okay, okay, and then with a celebrity that

670
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 5: you might not know where you're afraid.

671
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: Of or I can't imagine anyway. I want to.

672
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 5: Believe that the Universes, if it should happen, it'll be

673
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 5: in the right time, we'll see all that has A

674
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 5: My choir teacher in my senior year was like, I'm

675
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 5: going to nominate you for this.

676
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: The scholarship for this coral camp at University of Florida.

677
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, no, it's okay, and she's like, no,

678
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 5: there's only like two people out of the state that

679
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 5: teachers get to, you know, actually choose to go for

680
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 5: free because my parents obviously couldn't afford it. And I

681
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 5: got the scholarship and it was so like, I mean,

682
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 5: I was way in over my head. All these kids

683
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 5: like cancite reading. They're like blah blah blah blah, and

684
00:31:55,160 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 5: I'll never forget. We had a scat workshop. Okay, a

685
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 5: scat workshop correct, right, So I'm like we're all sitting

686
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 5: like a semi circle and they're like just improvise and

687
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 5: I was like, you know, getting closer and closer and

688
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 5: closer to me. And I was like, okay, do I

689
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 5: go to the bathroom now? Do I see my stomach hurts?

690
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 5: Am I gonna throw up? Like I was just trying

691
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 5: to get out of it. I was so afraid and

692
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 5: I was like, skim it up up li Like I

693
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,959
Speaker 5: was like, I don't know what and they were like,

694
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 5: that's scatting.

695
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, you're like, I'm gonna scat in

696
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 2: my pants right now, and I did, and I did.

697
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: I'm skinny scatty. And I was like, oh.

698
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 5: It was petrifying, but like you know, as you know,

699
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 5: when you like move through the hard stuff, you're like.

700
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,719
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't die. Yeah, oa, okay, maybe I can

701
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: do this again.

702
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 5: So every single time I was like, okay, okay, okay,

703
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 5: but it really wasn't until and I'm jumping ahead, but

704
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 5: I was at presenting at the Billboard Awards with Justin

705
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 5: I think the second or third year of this is

706
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 5: US and twenty eighteen or something, and a random guy

707
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 5: to me and he's like, I literally just heard the

708
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 5: Voice of God say talk to her about music. And

709
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 5: I was like, huh what And he's like, my wife

710
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 5: said I should do should talk to you? Like, I

711
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 5: know it sounds crazy, but do you want to write?

712
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: Do you sing?

713
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 2: Like he didn't know if you enough voice?

714
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: No, he didn't know nothing.

715
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 5: And he's like, by the way, I'm Kelly Clarkson's MD

716
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 5: for the past twenty years. My name's Jason, and I

717
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 5: live in Nashville. If you want a songwrite, I'll hook

718
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 5: you up with some songwriters.

719
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: Hello.

720
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, I got I was

721
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 5: like yeah, sure, yeah, I was like yeah.

722
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 1: I was like okay, sure, he's because you heard me

723
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: say you've heard me?

724
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 5: Yeah right, So he's like DM me on Instagram and

725
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, this ain't real. And then I

726
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 5: did and he was, and he set me up with

727
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 5: like the most prolific writers in an all of Nashville.

728
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 5: Wow for my first right, And I was freaking out,

729
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 5: like Natalie Hemby and Daniel Tashian who did like all

730
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 5: of you s Musk Graves albums, and Miranda Lambert and like,

731
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 5: I just.

732
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 2: Saw Casey in Colorado a week ago.

733
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: Did you love it?

734
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: She was great? Festival fun, oh fun.

735
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. So anyway, I was like, what am I getting?

736
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I'm doing.

737
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 5: But I found that I love songwriting to the point

738
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 5: of like, it's the most magical thing.

739
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: In four hours, you.

740
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 5: Have a song that never existed that would change poble's lives.

741
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 5: It's incredible. So then I kept going back and forth

742
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 5: just songwriting. During the hiatus of This is Us signed

743
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 5: with UMG because I got to sing at the Oscars.

744
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 5: Coodyne Warren wrote a song for a movie that he

745
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 5: did amazing. What's happening?

746
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: Am I like?

747
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 5: But then three years in I didn't get to go

748
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 5: on tour because COVID the world shut down. And then

749
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm writing music, but I don't get

750
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 5: to put it out, So I end up leaving the label, which.

751
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 1: Was the really really really tough. It was so disheartening. Oh,

752
00:34:50,840 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: it's really tough. And then acting, I mean, when did

753
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: you come.

754
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 2: To La by the way? Hello, Okay, let's and how

755
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: long were you here? How long were you struggling here?

756
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 2: How many years?

757
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 5: So my sister, who takes care of my mom, who

758
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 5: has four kids, she's an angel, she heard about this

759
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 5: open call at a holiday and that my stepdaddy and

760
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 5: my mama met at at the bar and that's where

761
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 5: the open call was. So she heard about this open

762
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 5: call on the radio and she was like, will you

763
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 5: take me? Because she wanted to be a print model.

764
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 5: She has a different dad than I do. She's tall

765
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 5: and thin, and so it's okay, God, God doesn't give

766
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 5: it two hands. It's fine, it's Fine's fine. So I'm

767
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 5: still working on them.

768
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: It's fine. So we go.

769
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 5: There's a woman who's sitting across from me and I'm

770
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 5: filling out the paperwork for my sister, and she's like,

771
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 5: are you here for auditioning? Are you here for a reason?

772
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 5: Like and I was like, no, I'm just taking my sister.

773
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 5: I was teaching preschool at the time, and she's.

774
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: Done at all. I'm the agent teacher singer.

775
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 5: McDonald's was my first job. Yeah, that's where I really

776
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 5: fell in love with those fries. Still eat them, be.

777
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: Fatinal anyhow, exactly, I shouldn't. You can't help it, Okay, drugs, drugs,

778
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: that's my that's mine with extra cheese. Oh my gosh.

779
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 5: Okay, so I digrass it's all about food. So anyway,

780
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 5: the lady was like, well, I think you should audition.

781
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 5: I was like, what is she talking about? And she said,

782
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 5: you know, I taught it at your high school. I

783
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 5: was like, no, you didn't.

784
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: When I tell you, I've never seen this person in

785
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: my life. She's a liar.

786
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 5: What are you talking about? So then I fell out

787
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 5: the paperwork. I go to like turn around to talk

788
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 5: to her.

789
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you, guys, gone gone, gone, and I

790
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, where's the lady in the hat?

791
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 5: And everyone's like, what lady in the hat? Nobody ever

792
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 5: remembered seeing her. I'm like, this is bizarre. A ghost

793
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 5: yese ghost. I'm like, this is bizarre. And I'm like,

794
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 5: was it a guardian angel who was like here to

795
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 5: give me some positive reinforcement? Anyway, the lady comes out,

796
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 5: She's like, Okay, what do you do? And I was like, oh,

797
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 5: this is just my sister and I came here to

798
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 5: take her. And she's like, you don't do anything, you know,

799
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 5: I'm saying, act whatever, And I was like, even though

800
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 5: in my heart I was like, take me right, like

801
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 5: I was like, give me out of Gainesville and my sister.

802
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 5: My sister's like, yes, you do sing and I'm like, oh,

803
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 5: I don't. And so I ended up singing. Of course,

804
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 5: reflection from Mulan.

805
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 1: As one does. Why did I choose that hard song?

806
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: I'll never know.

807
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 5: So anyway, I sang and she was like, oh, okay,

808
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 5: well we'll let you never give you guys.

809
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 2: I know wait, wait, hold on, well go ahead, because

810
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 2: I Mulan was on a repeat twenty four seven with

811
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 2: my kids.

812
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: With the movie The Live action or the cartoon cartoon okay, right,

813
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: but reflections. It's the theme. Yeah, look at me. You

814
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: may think you see who I really am, but you

815
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: never know.

816
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: Yes's chorus, who is that girl?

817
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 7: Back?

818
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I don't sing it?

819
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: No, yeah. Yeah.

820
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 5: So she said, well, if we give you a callback,

821
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 5: we'll let you know my Wednesday. The following two days,

822
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 5: she crosses back and she's like, you know, you're just

823
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 5: wanting to do print modeling, great, but like, are you

824
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 5: interested in doing like comedy you're acting. I was like

825
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 5: mm mmmmmm, I really want to sing, and she's like,

826
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 5: I don't think you should focus on that. I was

827
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 5: like gutted because that was my That's what I wanted

828
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,760
Speaker 5: to do. And she said, but I think her funny

829
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 5: and like there might be something there. Well, it turns

830
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 5: out when I find out three years later, is she

831
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 5: had wanted to be an actor. She was a plusized girl,

832
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 5: and I think she was sort of living Vicarsy through me,

833
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 5: which ended up being great for me, but like also humh.

834
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 5: So we did classes, I went down to Orlando every

835
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 5: single weekend, and then we did a showcase for all

836
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,399
Speaker 5: these agents and managers and I was like, oh, all

837
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 5: the skinny girls are going to get agents like whatever.

838
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 5: And it was like the days of like Aaron Spelling

839
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 5: and like you know, you had to look a certain

840
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 5: way or whatever.

841
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: And I had this crunchy, curly hair. It was a mess,

842
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: like a mess.

843
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 5: And so anyway, I was the woman at the convenience

844
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 5: store and all the actors would come in and they

845
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 5: do monologues, you know, like it was written well, it.

846
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: Was entertaining and it was Yes showcase.

847
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 5: And so I got a call back and so my

848
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 5: first agent, Jackie Lewis, who's still my dear friend, signed me.

849
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 5: And I couldn't addam an eve it. I culton adds

850
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 5: him in an event and end up moving when I

851
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 5: was twenty into a two bedroom apartment in Burbank with

852
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 5: six girls, and the manager slept in the living room.

853
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 5: We had a printer on a table with plastic chairs.

854
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 5: We did, yes, we did, and I took all the

855
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 5: kids on auditions and then that's when she was like, oh,

856
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 5: your agent Jackie needs an assistant. Can you go work

857
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 5: with her? And I'm like, oh, you really don't want

858
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 5: me to pursue my dreams?

859
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: Got it? Yeah?

860
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 5: And so that was like a nine year detour, and

861
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 5: I did get to learn so much behind the desk,

862
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 5: of course.

863
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 2: But man, you were an agent for nine years.

864
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: Yes, so I was out here for twelve before this

865
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: has us happened.

866
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 2: Were you still were you still performing now even though

867
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 2: you were an agent? You were like, no, I'm an

868
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 2: agent now.

869
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: No like singing, I'm not auditioning, I'm not acting. I'm

870
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: like I would take like a voice lesson here or there.

871
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 5: And I wanted to John Kirby, who's my acting coach,

872
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 5: who's the just love of my life. He every time

873
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 5: I would see him and a couple of other friends

874
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 5: would coach with him, He's like, Christie, I hope that

875
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,800
Speaker 5: you join my class sometime, like there's something special about you.

876
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, John, you're sweet, but.

877
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 5: Okay, my And then I finally was like, okay, I'm

878
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 5: going to commit to an acting class while I'm agenting

879
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 5: and like I could barely get together with my scene

880
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: partner because I was always working twenty four hours a day.

881
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 5: And then I got a I booked an arc on

882
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 5: American horror story the Freak Show season, and I said, oh.

883
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: My god, my life is starting there. No it didn't.

884
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 5: I did five episodes and it was like the scariest

885
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 5: thing ever because Jessica Lang, I'm pretty sure hates me.

886
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: If you don't, okay, thank you, and if you do,

887
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

888
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 2: How cool is that? Though? I mean, you can book

889
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:47,919
Speaker 2: working with Jessica Lang.

890
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 5: I'm Matthew Bates at just going, Evan Peters, Emma Roberts.

891
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: Like I was like.

892
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 5: Just afraid out of my mind and like my first

893
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 5: co star was on Entourage and my scene was with

894
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 5: James Cameron.

895
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 1: When I tell you, I was scared, I'll never forget.

896
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: I called my manager and I was like, I can't

897
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: do it, and she's like, you put your big girl

898
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 1: panties on and you figure it out. But because what

899
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: happened was I had a really crazy line that they

900
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: rewrote and I didn't get to audition with it.

901
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 5: This is Entourage, and so there's the fake Harvey Weinstein.

902
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 5: It's when they're at Sundance and Adrianonieri's character is Aquaman

903
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 5: and it's premiering and James Cameron comes and I'm just.

904
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: The counter girl.

905
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 5: That was the role and I'll never forget the line now.

906
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 5: But during rehearsal, I could not get the line and

907
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 5: drama was like.

908
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 1: I don't even worry about it.

909
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 2: I'll give you my baby.

910
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: Sides and I was like, what are baby sides? Like,

911
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about.

912
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 5: I was petrified and so I called my manager. I

913
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 5: was like, I can't do this. So the scene goes up.

914
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 5: We're on the day. James says, I go through the

915
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 5: line to flow it again, and he goes is there

916
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 5: something that I'm doing? And I'm like, yes, mister Cameron,

917
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 5: it's all you begin lineman, iman ainate it. And I

918
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 5: was like, oh, I'm never gonna do this, like I can't,

919
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 5: Like I can't do this, and I cried like all

920
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 5: the way home and I was like, I'm terrible, this

921
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 5: will never happen again.

922
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: What's the sea God? So he comes up to me

923
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 1: and says, oh.

924
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 5: Gosh, something about like wanting a water right, And I

925
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 5: was like, oh, can I ask you a question, mister Cameron.

926
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 5: He's like, yeah, sure, some random counter girl, and I said,

927
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 5: was the sinking of the ship an attempt to foreshadow

928
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 5: the forthcoming sinking of the tech market in two thousand?

929
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: Right? To be fair, that's not easy, thank you. That's

930
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: a mouth twister. It's a mouthful. Thank you.

931
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 5: I appreciate that, and all his response was, no, I

932
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 5: just wanted to make a little girls cry.

933
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so twister tongue twister.

934
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: Especially when the nerves kick in, you're dead.

935
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In Turtle was like, what's going on?

936
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, everybody hates me.

937
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 1: And I had because I did Dawson's Creek.

938
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 2: I did the last year of Dawson's Creek, and that

939
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 2: dialogue was always so mouthy, you know, Kevin Williams, but

940
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 2: it was it was like it was always just very specific,

941
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 2: and I had this big, not big, medium speech and

942
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 2: it was pushing up against lunch.

943
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: And the nerves I was new. You know, the nerves start.

944
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 2: To kick in and then you're and then the race

945
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: is dead. Yeah, that's it. It just goes to blank

946
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 2: and now there's pressure. We're now going into sort of

947
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:31,720
Speaker 2: you know or whatever, and it's like fun. I couldn't

948
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 2: get it. Had to break for lunch. It was going

949
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: to kill myself. It was horrendous.

950
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 5: You know, people don't really understand like unless they're in it,

951
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 5: do you know, because like you just feel like I

952
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 5: feel like, oh my god, the writers are talking about me,

953
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 5: They're going to the show, they're gonna kill me off

954
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 5: the show, whatever.

955
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: Like it's always so I.

956
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 2: Think that's natural for all actors to be like I

957
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: mean even maybe even if you're Meryl Streep. I don't

958
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 2: even know, but.

959
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, but maybe she does.

960
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 2: It's like you finished a take and you're like, what

961
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 2: they're saying about me? And then I would go through

962
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 2: these things much. I'm much better now, but in the beginning,

963
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: you know, the end of the day, the showrunner, director,

964
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 2: producer would go, you know, other actors like ay Man, amazing,

965
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 2: you were an amazing, You're amazing today. I'm like a

966
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 2: sea said to me.

967
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: And then it's like, hey, i'll see tomorrow.

968
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god.

969
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: Fuck, I'm not I'm nobody.

970
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,919
Speaker 2: No, he didn't, he didn't say we're not good. I mean,

971
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 2: this is the ship that would go through.

972
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: The over analyzation of every single like did he look

973
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: at me weird?

974
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 5: Was he disappointed? Why didn't he come and ask me

975
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 5: if I want to sit with him at lunch? Like

976
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh wow, chrissy, Like this.

977
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,760
Speaker 1: Is torture, torture, but don't.

978
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: Think we're alone. I think this is I think this

979
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 2: is more natural than we even think. I think a

980
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: lot of actors will.

981
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 1: Stop this because it's too much, I know.

982
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 2: But before we get out of here, The Hunting Wives.

983
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 2: I haven't seen it yet. I have friends who've called

984
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 2: me and said, you've got you have to watch this show.

985
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 1: She's wild, She's a wild ride.

986
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's certainly when I read it, it's you know,

987
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 5: as you know, like then seeing it, yeah, you're like, oh,

988
00:44:58,520 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 5: this is kind of shocking.

989
00:44:59,560 --> 00:44:59,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

990
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 5: Luckily my character was, you know, this very sweet, god

991
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 5: fearing woman who sort of like grounded the whole series

992
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 5: because she well there I say, she's the only one

993
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 5: with morals. But it was really cool to work with everybody,

994
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 5: and it was cool to do something different, you know,

995
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 5: because it's the most wonderful thing to have a job

996
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 5: that's changed your life and created so many opportunities. But like,

997
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 5: literally people don't even consider me as Chrissy Metz. They're like, oh,

998
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 5: Kate Pearson, which I get it, Like fine, but like

999
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 5: doesn't mean I don't want to do other roles, you know.

1000
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 5: So it's interesting. People at the airport were like, just

1001
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 5: this first star, so I won't give you any I

1002
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 5: won't spoil or anything.

1003
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 1: I won't spoil it.

1004
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 5: But it was also cool to play someone who's southern

1005
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 5: because I am from Florida and I know women like her.

1006
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 5: And yeah, it's just been It's so wild because people

1007
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 5: are really into it, like I crazy, billions of minutes

1008
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,720
Speaker 5: of watching and people loved it. I mean, all demographics

1009
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 5: have come up to me and there's something for everyone.

1010
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: I like to say, there's something for everyone, and it's

1011
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: a fun watch.

1012
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 2: I know, I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch

1013
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 2: if you want, I'm going to All my friends are

1014
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 2: something to watch, and you know, of course it's great,

1015
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 2: but they're like, it's really like aily sexual.

1016
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, she's very sexy. It's a very sexy show.

1017
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 1: You said, Mom, I'm not watching this with you. She

1018
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:24,320
Speaker 1: watched it by herself, a little cheeky little mink. But yeah, anyway,

1019
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: thanks for having me.

1020
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: This was so fun.

1021
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 5: Maybe we don't come back if I get a return

1022
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 5: an invitation, of course, to talk about.

1023
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 2: We have a lot to talk about. We just we have,

1024
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 2: we have we're more like than maybe we knew. I

1025
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 2: know this has been fun.

1026
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: I know. Well, good luck on all of your journeys.

1027
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1028
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: You know you have many. Anyway, I love me, thank you.

1029
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: Thank you so good to chat. Thanks guys,