Speaker 1: I'm a homegrowl that knows a little bit about everything
Speaker 1: and everybody, you know, if.
Speaker 2: You don't lie about that, right, Lauren came in. Hey, y'all,
Speaker 2: it's Laura l Rosa and this is the latest with
Speaker 2: Laura L. Rosa.
Speaker 1: Now this is always your daily dig into all things entertainment, news,
Speaker 1: pop culture, and the conversations that shake the room. I
Speaker 1: love episodes where you know it's in like real time,
Speaker 1: things have really happened, and we can just get on
Speaker 1: here and we could talk a little bit, checking in
Speaker 1: behind the scenes of the grind, which is where we
Speaker 1: you know, pulled a curtain back and just check on
Speaker 1: each other, see how we feeling.
Speaker 2: I am feeling very well rested.
Speaker 1: I've probably said that a lot in the last couple
Speaker 1: of weeks because I've been prioritizing making sure I get
Speaker 1: my resting because it's been a lot happening. But this weekend,
Speaker 1: in particular, was Father's Day weekend. I went home and
Speaker 1: literally did nothing. When I said I went home, I
Speaker 1: mean I went home to my hometown with my.
Speaker 2: Family in Delaware and didn't nothing.
Speaker 1: Like literally got in my mom's bed and slept, spent
Speaker 1: time with my grandmother, it was Father's Day.
Speaker 2: My brother is a father, so you know, he was
Speaker 2: in the house.
Speaker 1: We really didn't do much of anything, but it felt
Speaker 1: good to be doing nothing. But Father's Day was happening,
Speaker 1: and the posts were everywhere. I love seeing dads be dads.
Speaker 1: I love seeing black father's black father is one of
Speaker 1: my favorite things to see. But I came across this
Speaker 1: conversation getting into the latest. I came across this conversation
Speaker 1: that Kirk Franklin hosted on his YouTube channel, and it's
Speaker 1: for a series that he has called The Den of Kings,
Speaker 1: And the premise of the sit down is what happens
Speaker 1: when black men sit down, take off their masks, and
Speaker 1: speak from the heart. And the premiere of Den of
Speaker 1: King's Grammy winner, Kirk Franklin is joined by DC Young,
Speaker 1: Fly daval Ellis, I Love daval Lou Young, and Country
Speaker 1: Wayne for a raw, honest and powerful conversation about fatherhood, faith, masculinity,
Speaker 1: and healing from growing up without a blueprint to leading
Speaker 1: their families with intentional love.
Speaker 2: This fron teble pulls no punches.
Speaker 1: This isn't about being perfect, It's about being present, y'all.
Speaker 1: I love conversations like this even though I'm not a
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a woman because gon say, even though
Speaker 1: I'm not a man.
Speaker 2: But it's like, duh, Lauren.
Speaker 1: I love conversations like this though, because I feel like
Speaker 1: as a woman and when I'm watching these things, it
Speaker 1: makes me look at like, I don't know how many think.
Speaker 1: I don't know how men deal with what they go through.
Speaker 1: I only know what I experienced from the men in
Speaker 1: my life, my brother, my dad, my stepdad, my my
Speaker 1: male friends. So I'm always interested in learning and seeing,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of the other side of the of
Speaker 1: the pillow, and like and like what the experiences are
Speaker 1: like from a man's point of view.
Speaker 2: And that's exactly what this was.
Speaker 1: They talked about so many different things and it got
Speaker 1: really really deep.
Speaker 2: The first thing they opened up with I thought was
Speaker 2: very powerful.
Speaker 1: Kirk Franklin asked them, you know, what is the biggest
Speaker 1: myth about about black dads?
Speaker 3: And here's what they said, The biggest myth that society
Speaker 3: has about black fathers sick and tied that you want
Speaker 3: to address.
Speaker 2: That we ain't there. I'm going to say that we
Speaker 2: did beat now, might I mean there? We be across
Speaker 2: the street brom A house, someone like down the street
Speaker 2: in the house.
Speaker 4: The fact of the matter is, studies show that black
Speaker 4: fathers are the most present in their kids life amongst
Speaker 4: all demographics.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: On top of that, single fathers have a higher graduation
Speaker 4: rate and lower incarceration rate than single moms and dual
Speaker 4: family households.
Speaker 2: Come on, that is a fact.
Speaker 5: Show them with those stats really being relevant. Now, where
Speaker 5: is this myth still continuing to come from?
Speaker 2: You think narratives?
Speaker 4: Think about it, right, We don't watch TV. Everything that
Speaker 4: we consume comes to me to through a phone, TV
Speaker 4: or film.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: There are people who have agendas, right, and part of
Speaker 4: that agenda is creating a separation between men and women
Speaker 4: in our communities. It's always been that way.
Speaker 1: And man, when I tell y'all, has hit me because
Speaker 1: every single year, for like Father's Day, and you know,
Speaker 1: even on Mother's Day, seeing fathers post their kids with
Speaker 1: their kids mom or like you know, their wives and
Speaker 1: all these things. I'm like, I look around and I
Speaker 1: don't know no men that are not in their kids' lives.
Speaker 1: I don't know any men that are not taking care
Speaker 1: of their kids. I don't like, I just don't know
Speaker 1: those guys. But I know, at one point in time,
Speaker 1: it felt like it was very different like when I
Speaker 1: was younger, especially because I didn't grow with my father
Speaker 1: in my household. I didn't meet my dad until I
Speaker 1: was thirteen, fourteen years old, and then after that, me
Speaker 1: and him, you know, like I knew who he was,
Speaker 1: I knew where to reach him, I knew how to
Speaker 1: call him and all that. But it's different having him
Speaker 1: in the household and even just having a very close
Speaker 1: relationship to him. Because I didn't grow up with my
Speaker 1: father in the household, it wasn't normal for me to
Speaker 1: just like always want to call my dad or spend
Speaker 1: time with my dad or talk like those things weren't
Speaker 1: just a natural thing for me because I going a
Speaker 1: long time of my life without doing it.
Speaker 2: Even now, me and.
Speaker 1: My dad talk, you know, I'll text someone, you might
Speaker 1: check in here and there. But if I don't talk
Speaker 1: to my dad for weeks at a time, it's not
Speaker 1: unormal for me. But my mother and my grandmother who
Speaker 1: raised me, if I don't talk to them for a day,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I'm too busy.
Speaker 2: The world is coming to it.
Speaker 1: And even my mom, my stepdad, my brother's father who
Speaker 1: you know, stepped in and really helped out with me.
Speaker 1: I don't talk to him every single day, but if
Speaker 1: too much time goes past, I'm like, let me call him.
Speaker 1: I ain't heard from him. Even going home for Father's
Speaker 1: Day this weekend, I was My intention was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to go see him. He was running around.
Speaker 1: I was running around, but I was like, I have
Speaker 1: to see him. I have to talk to him. So
Speaker 1: it's just, you know, I think it's been such a
Speaker 1: normal thing and an easy thing for people to say
Speaker 1: that black fathers are not in the household, and some
Speaker 1: of us have experienced that. I just share my experience
Speaker 1: with that, right. But I have all of my friends
Speaker 1: that have their fathers in their home. I have friends
Speaker 1: that you know, have kids, and even if they are
Speaker 1: not with their child's father, their father is in their
Speaker 1: child's life very actively. All of my male friends are
Speaker 1: super super super super dads.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know them people. I don't know them men.
Speaker 1: So just by that being the opening conversation, I was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: this is about this is about to get real, real good.
Speaker 1: So next they talked about something that I thought was
Speaker 1: also you know, very interesting as well. Kirk Franklin had
Speaker 1: a public spat with his son and it was very
Speaker 1: very public. Kirk Franklin and his son went back and
Speaker 1: forth about a ton of different things. His son alleged
Speaker 1: that there was no support that you know that there was.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of allegations at that time. And
Speaker 1: you know, with Kirk Franklin being a faith leader, people
Speaker 1: looked at this and was like, hold on, wait what Kirk.
Speaker 1: Like Kirk Franklin and people that are in the faith
Speaker 1: and in worship and leadership of any sort, you don't
Speaker 1: get the same chances to like have issues in the family,
Speaker 1: have issues in your marriage.
Speaker 2: So they talked about it, and here's what Kirk Franklin
Speaker 2: had to say.
Speaker 5: There is a reality that when you live with someone
Speaker 5: every day, yes, and you're in a house with with
Speaker 5: with these images of you and this person that is
Speaker 5: looking for you too that don't be there for them,
Speaker 5: but to also keep the lights on, keep a certain
Speaker 5: lifestyle going for everybody, there's a there's a tension. And
Speaker 5: I can understand now why they have such an ease
Speaker 5: and how they talk.
Speaker 6: In the house because I'm like, okay, I eventually I
Speaker 6: want to be married, right listen to married men, successful
Speaker 6: married men, right, and y'all telling me y'all in the house.
Speaker 6: Y'all can walk down the steps, yeah, see the family
Speaker 6: and still feel like I'm not here not.
Speaker 4: Yes, tell you yes, I'm gonna tell you right now
Speaker 4: why we live in an age where women too are
Speaker 4: not just wanting to be homemakers. My wife has her
Speaker 4: own career. So you know how I got my side check,
Speaker 4: that's my career. My wife got a side check, that's
Speaker 4: her career. My wife just just books her first series
Speaker 4: regular role after after having four of my kids. So
Speaker 4: now it's the time where the val got it be supportive.
Speaker 4: I got to step back. So now she has to
Speaker 4: go film. So when she has to go film, who
Speaker 4: has to step in and do all the things at
Speaker 4: whom when.
Speaker 2: She's going I do Now.
Speaker 1: The reason why I thought that that was dope was
Speaker 1: because all the men at that table are all like,
Speaker 1: they have followings, their personalities, their talent, their celebrities, right,
Speaker 1: and they're all navigating his space, and we've seen things
Speaker 1: happen with them publicly, like Daval and his wife. There
Speaker 1: was recently a video that went viral from an Essence
Speaker 1: interview that he did where he broke down just about
Speaker 1: not being able to show up and have the time.
Speaker 1: And then we have DC young Fly who we know
Speaker 1: the mother his kids, Jackie O passed away not too
Speaker 1: long ago following plastic surgery, and he's been publicly dealing
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: And you have Country Wayne, who, even in this sit down, he.
Speaker 1: Talked about, you know, some of the issues he's had
Speaker 1: with the mother of his kids because there are multiple
Speaker 1: different women and multiple kids and making that mesh. And
Speaker 1: even with lou he talked a lot about a lot
Speaker 1: of the things that he's been through. I'm not as
Speaker 1: familiar with his situation, but he's talked about a lot
Speaker 1: of the things that he went through just figuring it out.
Speaker 1: And man, when you figuring it out in front of
Speaker 1: the world, like these young men are talking about, it
Speaker 1: is not easy. I can't imagine doing it with kids.
Speaker 1: And I can't imagine doing it with kids as the
Speaker 1: male in the household who has to always have it together.
Speaker 1: That's a whole different play. And they even got into that.
Speaker 1: It got into it about the idea of being a
Speaker 1: father and like the pressures that come with that and
Speaker 1: what it's like when you have a father in the
Speaker 1: household because all of them had different situations. Kirk Franklin
Speaker 1: was adopted, so he didn't have his you know, his
Speaker 1: mother and his father. DC Young Fly talked about, you know,
Speaker 1: his dad not really being around and having to figure
Speaker 1: it out on his own.
Speaker 2: So the country weighing a bit.
Speaker 1: But he said, you know, he could get in contact
Speaker 1: with his dad as that was there, but it was
Speaker 1: still a little bit different. The vow grew up with
Speaker 1: is that in the house, but he talks about having
Speaker 1: that in the house but still having issues. I think
Speaker 1: the biggest point from this interview though, was they started
Speaker 1: talking about because I played all the audio of Davao
Speaker 1: when he's talking about how you know, he's just busy
Speaker 1: and things are just happened, and you know, devil It's
Speaker 1: like they have their YouTube channel where they focus on
Speaker 1: their family and they tell all these stories and things
Speaker 1: of that nature. Right, But then at the same time,
Speaker 1: he's an actor and you know, he's an influencer, and
Speaker 1: they move and him has wiped their career. They have
Speaker 1: their book that they came to the Breakfast Club and
Speaker 1: talked about their careers are moving like it's amazing to see.
Speaker 1: But when I saw him break down in that essence interview.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, you never know what people are
Speaker 1: going through because they package it so well. But he
Speaker 1: also talked about just being a man right in the
Speaker 1: house and wanting to take jobs and opportunities, but you
Speaker 1: can't because you don't want to feel like you slight
Speaker 1: in your family. And I've never thought about this because
Speaker 1: as a woman, especially as a woman with no kids,
Speaker 1: I just I get up and go, I do what
Speaker 1: I want. But even my friends that have kids, like
Speaker 1: the women that I know, they have kids that have
Speaker 1: these opportunities, they take on. What they take on, they
Speaker 1: bring the kids along with them, or they don't. And
Speaker 1: when they don't, it's kind of normal for the world
Speaker 1: to see a woman be like, Nope, got kids at home,
Speaker 1: can do it. But for a man, you get super
Speaker 1: overapplauded when you're like, Nope, can't do it, got kids
Speaker 1: at home. But then when you're absent, there's a conversation
Speaker 1: on you as an absentee father as well too. So
Speaker 1: let's take a listen to that. I thought that this
Speaker 1: point was very interesting as well.
Speaker 4: There's days and this is why it's so hard for me.
Speaker 4: I don't feel like I ever have enough time. Yes,
Speaker 4: and even for my son bro I missed. I made
Speaker 4: every football game from my oldest son, but I missed
Speaker 4: his banquet. And you know what he said to my wife.
Speaker 4: That's why I'll never be an actor. You know, you
Speaker 4: just miss so much stuff. See, my son is the oldest,
Speaker 4: and he's the one who will say to me that
Speaker 4: I know you out there grinding, but it can't it
Speaker 4: don't change the fact that it hurts him.
Speaker 2: Fact, and I want to be.
Speaker 4: This is this is a fact. I want to be
Speaker 4: the biggest star in the world. I want to, right,
Speaker 4: That's what I want to do, but I know what
Speaker 4: that requires. It requires that I'm away a lot, right,
Speaker 4: and now I'm in a situation where I can make
Speaker 4: a lot of money doing something that will give me
Speaker 4: the autonomy to be with my family.
Speaker 6: But that's not what I want to do.
Speaker 4: And that's what I'm struggling with. Like that's why sometimes
Speaker 4: i'd be so heavy, because I'm like, yo, I'm doing this.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this now.
Speaker 1: Of course, because it was Father's Day and people were
Speaker 1: having so many real conversations about how beautiful it was
Speaker 1: to see you know, dads with their you know, just
Speaker 1: the generation of fathers.
Speaker 2: Like so many celebrities were posting.
Speaker 1: I saw so many different people posting, and I posted
Speaker 1: a question from this interview. I said, because because Kirk
Speaker 1: Franklin asked this in an interview he's he asked to them.
Speaker 1: He said, what's your biggest fear in raising your kids?
Speaker 1: So I tweeted taking it to the streets.
Speaker 2: In the tweets.
Speaker 1: Outside, we outside, we outside outside, I said, black fathers,
Speaker 1: what's your biggest fear in raising your kids?
Speaker 2: It's just opinion, responded my son.
Speaker 1: That my son doesn't create a broken home and that
Speaker 1: he doesn't become someone's stepdad. He's currently a sophomore in college,
Speaker 1: so right now I just want him to finish school
Speaker 1: and settle into life he wants, not one that happened.
Speaker 1: That's all crazy, because I feel like we don't think
Speaker 1: about enough how people settle in relationships. And I know
Speaker 1: women settle, but I always say this to my male
Speaker 1: friends because I have a lot of male friends too.
Speaker 1: Who they're and when I say subtle, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that like they're taking less so they with people that
Speaker 1: they don't want to be with. But sometimes they're not happy,
Speaker 1: and they can't really communicate it. They can't really you know,
Speaker 1: they're being super dad, they're being provided, they're being this
Speaker 1: or being and they can't talk about it.
Speaker 2: So they're living lives that just happened.
Speaker 1: They're not living lives that they actually want to be living,
Speaker 1: that they love, that they enjoy that, you know, sparks
Speaker 1: their interests every day and things of that nature like.
Speaker 2: That, that's not where they are.
Speaker 1: And then another person responded and said that my daughter
Speaker 1: doesn't become someone's baby mama, nor have multiple kids by
Speaker 1: multiple men after college. I want her to settle into
Speaker 1: their career and be self sufficient, which she did, and
Speaker 1: I think that that's another thing as well too, was like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you're raising daughters as a father, the
Speaker 1: protective nature kicks in, right, but there's a certain level
Speaker 1: of she has to go and live her life.
Speaker 2: If she becomes a mother who is a single mom,
Speaker 2: who is.
Speaker 1: A co parent, she has experienced that and it gets
Speaker 1: to a certain point as a parent where you can't
Speaker 1: protect your kids from that, no matter how much super
Speaker 1: dad you are.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: Trusie said, my greatest fear is raising a child into
Speaker 1: an adult. Who lacks critical thinking, accountability and communication skills.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: Someone else said a small city legacy said, not preparing
Speaker 1: my kids to survive and thrive in a world when
Speaker 1: I no longer exist.
Speaker 2: That's my biggest fear, y'all.
Speaker 1: As I close out, Because all of this, I'm getting
Speaker 1: to the point now where, like you know, I'm starting
Speaker 1: to think about family and what family planning looks like
Speaker 1: for me when I have kids, and how that will work.
Speaker 1: Especially being here at Breakfast Club and seeing Envy Andes
Speaker 1: and Charlottagne with their families and their wives and their husbands.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I do want this, and I want
Speaker 2: to start planning for it.
Speaker 1: But it's like my biggest fear is to be slowed
Speaker 1: down by that and how to manage all of that.
Speaker 1: But also, like this world is so harsh. I feel
Speaker 1: like this about my niece as well. What happens to
Speaker 1: my babies if I'm no longer here? Who protects them?
Speaker 1: Who go to war for them? And I think as men,
Speaker 1: you know again, the fathers that are protector, So that
Speaker 1: has to be such a big thing for you guys.
Speaker 1: And they talked about that even in the sit down
Speaker 1: of just like you know you're shielding the family so much.
Speaker 1: It's always you shielding the family, but there's nobody to
Speaker 1: shield you as the dad, as the man in the house.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to.
Speaker 1: Take this episode to just spend some time talking about
Speaker 1: the dad, showing y'all some love, showing y'all feeling some love.
Speaker 2: Dad's tweet me.
Speaker 1: Let me know how your father's Day was, and please
Speaker 1: go and watch this, then conversation with Kirk Franklin, and
Speaker 1: then sit down and let me know what you guys
Speaker 1: thought about it. Low Riders, all the male low riders
Speaker 1: out there. I promise sy'all, this is the conversation that
Speaker 1: you guys are not gonna want to miss. Hit me.
Speaker 1: I want to hear how you guys feel and what
Speaker 1: you guys are thinking. I want to know it's gone
Speaker 1: La Rosa. And at the end of the day, there's
Speaker 1: always a lot to talk about. So I enjoy every
Speaker 1: single time you guys are here with me to talk
Speaker 1: about it, because y'all could be anywhere else. I'll be
Speaker 1: back in my next episode. We got some things to
Speaker 1: talk about. You know, we went to court. Kanye popped up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a side piece on that