1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to Bombing with Eric Andre, the podcast where I 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative people about 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: their worst moments on stage and being blitz beyond belief. 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: This week's guest is Felipe A Sparza, comedian extraordinaire. He 5 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: talks about doing stand up all over the country and 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: a near death experience involving an unruly heckler and a 7 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: beer bottle. 8 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 2: Let's get into it, Oh. 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 3: Bombing Balm with Eric Andre. 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 2: Felipe is Sparza. What's up? The man, the myth, the leger, 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 2: the sex symbol? 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 3: What's up? 13 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 2: Everybody? 14 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 4: Everybody confuses him for Benicio del Toro. I said, no, man, 15 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 4: Felipe is more handsome, has more oscars, more Emmy's more 16 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 4: golden globes than Benicio and Mark Anthony and. 17 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 2: Danny Trejo combined. 18 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 3: I love it, man. 19 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 2: Can we say that? 20 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 3: All? 21 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 2: Right? 22 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 3: So? 23 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 4: I got a new podcast, man, It's called bomb Bombing Food. 24 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 4: I just asked people, what the shittiest gig, the worst 25 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 4: they've ever bombed, ever, what that story is? It can 26 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 4: be the worst bomb you've ever done, the worst you've 27 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 4: ever seen that you weren't a part of, just the 28 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 4: worst bomb you've ever seen, and also the most wasted 29 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 4: you've ever been on stage, like back in the day 30 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 4: when you were like the movie train spotting Times New Jack. 31 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 2: City, Times from New jer City. 32 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: But okay, what's the worst bomb you think you ever 33 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: the most you've ever like fell on your face on stage? 34 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 2: Me ah, man, I bombed like we're hard ones in 35 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 2: the beginning, you know, when like when you're out there 36 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: with a bunch of comedy friends and everybody's on the show. 37 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 2: Everybody's getting paid, but forty dollars, I guess probably in 38 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 2: Sampedro at the Sheraton Hotel bar. Yeah, they had a bar. 39 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 2: It was called the Shark Tank. I know the cut 40 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: of the bar, like it's we's San Pedro. Let's California. 41 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 2: Oh that's not Texas, No, Sam Piedro, California. By the 42 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 2: other side of Long Beach. There were First of all, 43 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 2: there was a big ship above the stage because it's 44 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 2: like it's like a ship, like a pirate ship, ship 45 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 2: pirates ship, a ship kid just hanging and everybody bombing, 46 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 2: like the wost every comedian bomb is it packed a 47 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 2: big audience, Yeah, like sixty people scattered not paying attention. 48 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 2: They're bombing. Everybody's bombing doing hard and I'm going to 49 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 2: backboard man, suck the one hither right here Long Beach 50 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 2: early day. They're not really hit the hit the seven 51 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 2: ten north, then they're not already get on a six 52 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 2: or five north, then hit the five north and make 53 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 2: it to Hollywood. They stuck. And a lot of us 54 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: have part time jobs too. But I went up there 55 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 2: and I bombed too. Yeah, what was it like? I 56 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 2: would considered a bomb because I recovered bro good at 57 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 2: the end. Yeah, yeah, because I was honest. No, you 58 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 2: told me your worst bomb. That's not the story. I know. Man. 59 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:13,239 Speaker 4: You gotta tell me the story of the tongueing dude 60 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 4: that was going to kill you if I wasn't really 61 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 4: bombing that one, Okay, but you got to tell that 62 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 4: story if you don't mind talk toalked about. 63 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 2: Him as if my friend now, Joey Verdina, he is 64 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: a comedian. This guy's an ex boxer, a professional boxer, 65 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 2: ex police officer and Tucson. Now he's a film director 66 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 2: and he like he put me in the first film 67 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 2: El Matador. A man searching for his balls that's the title, 68 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: and Macho door oor man searching for his balls and 69 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 2: he put me in it. He and this guy always 70 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: had like a way to make money when he got 71 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 2: to a leg, you know, he had a hustle that 72 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 2: he made his own, his old karate delbo tape talk defence. 73 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 2: It sold it to people. 74 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 3: Wow, incredible. 75 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 2: So here's me up, Beef, But you want to make 76 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 2: a hundred dollars? I said, yes, I do Thursday night 77 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 2: at at the Roadhouse Cafe in Wilmington, California. Yeah, and 78 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 2: after the name of it was just called a roadhouse Cafe. 79 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 2: Nothing to do with the movie. It's just the cafe. 80 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 2: And when we get there, she's a promoter. I gether. 81 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 2: We knew Alreadys and this guy's like a specific islander 82 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 2: but not not samoe In or tongue In, just specific 83 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 2: calendar or Filipino. We worked with him before. So there's 84 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 2: like a big Samoan birthday party, right, and they're they're singing, 85 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 2: they're having a good time, they're high five in each 86 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 2: other and they all like linebackers two. They're the giants. 87 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 2: They're giant dude, and they stopped the karaoke that we're 88 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: doing to start the comedy show. Hey, surprise comedy show. No, 89 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 2: that's always bad. So the host bring me up first, 90 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: and then I'm up there, man, doing my thing and 91 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: nothing man like, they're boo, you can slowly start hearing, 92 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 2: and you know, man, it's like when when bombing feels 93 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 2: like man, when you set your alarm to slowly start like. 94 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 2: So they cut off the karaoke and the time and 95 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 2: you go up. Do you go up to like just 96 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 2: nothing or there music? 97 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 3: You know? 98 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 2: The host that was hoping a karaoke turn, he had 99 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 2: to do comedy in that for about an hour. So 100 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 2: you Philippe Sparsa and I'm up there and and then 101 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 2: the some moments you like, fuck Mexicos right away, what 102 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 2: the fuck? Fuck Mexicans. Fuck Mexicans. And I said, come on, bro, 103 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 2: no color lines, no color lines. Can we all just 104 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 2: get along? Everybody talk laughing, bro, everybody starts laughing. Then 105 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 2: he goes, what happened, man? I know there was karaoke here. Boo, 106 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 2: how about this, man, we should just bring back karaoke. 107 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 2: You want to sing lets? You want to sing a 108 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 2: jet song? Right, that's your people write? A jet song 109 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 2: is jets like the tongue in like jets is a 110 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 2: tongue in band, and they have a song that songs 111 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 2: exactly like one of Selena's songs. Yeah, I mean, I mean, 112 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 2: he goes, I can't confused. I can't do both of 113 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 2: them without getting confused with the other one. And then 114 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 2: I went on a rabbit hole once and the author 115 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 2: of both songs had offered both of songs at the 116 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 2: same time, and he just plaited it. Oh whoa, So 117 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 2: it was okay, so you said, I'm good fall in 118 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 2: love again. That's Selena song, but the other one is 119 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: I don't know, but similar Rich we got Listen. These 120 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 2: people are also moing man like saying, let's play a 121 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 2: Sovurdoran song to a bunch of Mexicans, bro, And they 122 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 2: tell you, how fuck you? Said O the you know, 123 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: with a derogatory for star Dorian. They call each other 124 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 2: said ot there, which means shithead. But to each other 125 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 2: it's cool, you know. But if a Mexican called another 126 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: said of sour door, said out there, like call him 127 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 2: the N word, I don't know how the tone changes. Okay, 128 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 2: so they got the equivalent of a tongue in and 129 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 2: some moments so I when I one, I yellow a tongue. 130 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 2: Let's have a Jets song. It was like, let's play 131 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 2: a les pay some sour dooran song. Let's bring it 132 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:52,239 Speaker 2: a surd and soccer team. But they they the audience 133 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 2: took it at this guy has balls, you know, like 134 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: to throw that out there. So they all laughed, Yeah, yeah, 135 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 2: they all laugh except that guy didn't laugh. 136 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 3: He was pissed. 137 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he threw a bottle at me. Oh 138 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 2: my god, I love that you didn't lead with this story. 139 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 2: He threw a bottle at me, like a Corona bottle. 140 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 2: And then and then now I missed me. Oh fuck. 141 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 2: And then I said, at least it was a Mexican 142 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 2: beer ray, but just take any matter. And I'm not 143 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 2: his group and laughing. But they're laughing at him, not 144 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 2: the joke. And now they're laughing at the whole situation 145 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 2: and the fuck. So they kicked the through out the show, right, 146 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 2: they kick him out of the show, and I don't 147 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 2: know where he went. The show continued, I guess, so 148 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 2: now bombing tension, you continued yourself. After the bottle, he 149 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,719 Speaker 2: keep going, I had to earn one hundred dollars, so 150 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,079 Speaker 2: he throws a ball at you. All this commussions that 151 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 2: you're just like and the whole time, Hey, did you 152 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 2: guys get the new iPhone? Gonna bring up the headliner. 153 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 2: I'm a feature, bro, imagine your head. You're supposed to 154 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 2: do forty five minutes after me, and I'm sucking up 155 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 2: the whole show. But the next box raise instigated ass 156 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 2: beat there. So uh so I said, Man, we're gonna 157 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 2: we're gonna keep the show going. Man, you what that? 158 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? 159 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Man. The last guy got kicked out. Man, 160 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 2: he's gonna I don't know where the hell you that, 161 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 2: but he's gone. But we're gonna we're gonna start passing 162 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 2: out lasting cups man, and everybody's gonna take it. We're 163 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 2: gonna take away all your bottles just case everybody wants 164 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 2: to do more domestic beer at me. And then so 165 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 2: Joey Medina doesn't want to go up, you know, he said, 166 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 2: let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, ship that. 167 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: So we go outside and that's the moment Man and 168 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 2: waiting for us with a Knight in the parking lot. 169 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 2: Like he runs through the car where we're starting it right, 170 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 2: and then he has he has like one of those knives. 171 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 2: You know. He's a he's a blue he's a blue 172 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 2: collar man, you know, and he gus got too drunk 173 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 2: and I don't know what was wrong, had a bad 174 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 2: day at work. He was he was He had one 175 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 2: of those knives, had everything in there, Bro, He had 176 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 2: one of those Swiss army knives. So he had he 177 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 2: was started table was a was was the one to 178 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 2: open the wine bottle against He was too drunk to 179 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 2: take out the knives, so he took out the corks crew, 180 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 2: but it was a Swiss knife. He was too fund up, 181 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 2: one of those Swiss knife. 182 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: Bro. 183 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 2: He had an oar for his boat and everything. Bro, 184 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 2: He's just dark. He hit a Swiss army someone did 185 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 2: he was he in the car? But was he trying 186 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 2: to put his fist through the window to the window 187 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 2: man that he was shaking the car Bro like like 188 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 2: he was a chie rex Bro. Jurassic parked the right. 189 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 2: Oh my lord, he was a giant giant. Were you scared? 190 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 2: He was giant for a person who's six two, but 191 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,319 Speaker 2: not compared to everybody. Was there six five, four hundred 192 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: and three hundred pounds of muscle. He was like in 193 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 2: shape agains. He didn't have that beaties, but he was man. 194 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 2: He was shaking the car. But it was funny was 195 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 2: that when he threw the bottle and his friends calmed 196 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 2: him down and they got kicked. They got kicked out 197 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 2: fucking the Samoan woman walks out to me, do you 198 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:34,599 Speaker 2: do birthday parties? House parties? Sure, lady. 199 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 3: With aer Condre with Arendre. 200 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,719 Speaker 2: Why bomb back to back in two shows? And I'm 201 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 2: Hawaii and Tacoma, Washington. Yeah, Hawaii, but people are threatening 202 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 2: you throwing bottles. No man with no laughs. My friend 203 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 2: used to be a comedian from the Comedy Act Theater 204 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,319 Speaker 2: and I had a room in Montebello. His name was 205 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: one Dexter. I think it was like a part time substitute. 206 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 2: Teacher had a comedy comedian, One Dexter from Houston, Texas. 207 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 2: But he knew a guy that that booked a room 208 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 2: in Hawaii and then Tacoma, Washington, back to back. It 209 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 2: paid seven hundred dollars. Fly the fly you in the 210 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: night before Hawaii. We spent like an all day in 211 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 2: Hawaii hanging out an at eight o'clock, you do the 212 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,599 Speaker 2: show the next day. You fly to Tacoma, and you 213 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 2: do the show the next day in Tacoma. So man, 214 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 2: they flew me out and I'm like, fucking never been 215 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 2: to Hawaii. I'm super excited. Man. I was staying at 216 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 2: the out Rigor, but I found out they were on 217 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 2: their own name out Rigor and our Rigor Hotel and 218 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 2: I hang out in Hawaii. Never been to Hawaii, man, 219 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 2: I was like, wow, very happy. Yeah, but here comes 220 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 2: the show man. Never been on it and I only 221 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 2: have that one TV credit Showtime Latino laugh beest of 222 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 2: a Hotel by Paradriquez on nineteen ninety six on Showtime. 223 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 2: Nobody saw it, and so they booked me based on that. 224 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 2: There was only fourteen people in the audience, and the 225 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 2: promoter was there because he heard that was funny, so 226 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 2: he never shows up. He shows up and the had 227 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 2: a broken leg and he puts his leg on top 228 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 2: of the table. He's there with his girlfriend. Fourteen people. 229 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 2: I had to do an hour host bomb features guy 230 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 2: bombed but nobody was threatening, right, but we bombed bro 231 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 2: Then I bomb like no laughs, fourteen one hour. Look 232 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 2: at the promoter man, sorry, man, sorry, what are you bad? 233 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 2: What do you doing? 234 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 3: You bomb? 235 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 2: How do you recover? I don't know how to recover. 236 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 2: I had an hour, mature. I don't even know I 237 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 2: had an hour mature. Maybe I was twenty minutes of mature, 238 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 2: but it went by past my mom got dry, so 239 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,319 Speaker 2: you just try to get nervous. It was bombing, like 240 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 2: I felt like I never bombed at that before because 241 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 2: I felt like like I had an outer body experience 242 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 2: where my my my body was sat down. I watched 243 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: me bomb, just taking his head. So that was done. 244 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 2: I go back to the hotel and the guy said, Manes, 245 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 2: I'm gonna pay I'm gonna pay you in the morning, 246 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 2: your money rather than seven hundred dollars. So in the morning, 247 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 2: I'm hanging out with his boys and let the flights 248 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: are really late, like, oh, man, the flight's gonna leave 249 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: like an hour and a half. I kept trying the 250 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: promoter man, yeah, mar my boys will take you. Anyways, 251 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 2: it took me to the airport late, so I missed 252 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 2: my flight, right, So I told the guy, man, your 253 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 2: boy dropped me off at the airport late, I mean 254 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: my flight, What am I gonna do? Tell him that 255 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 2: you have an emergency. You need to get back to 256 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 2: the LA or whatever to Tacoma. So that's how they 257 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 2: left me with, like you figured out yourself basically, So 258 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 2: I just took a I took a later flight. Oh yeah, 259 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 2: paid me two hundred right there. I don't know, mother, 260 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 2: but I used those two hundred to get that flight. 261 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: The later flight, so you made zero. Yeah, So I 262 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 2: took a two hundred dollars they gave me, or they're 263 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 2: gonna give me the five hundred Tacoma to LA. Right. 264 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 2: So I waited in LA for an hour and for 265 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 2: like nine eight hours for the next flight to Tacoma. 266 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 2: I took another hundred on my TM and I paid 267 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 2: a hundred for that flight to get to Tacoma. So 268 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 2: when I get to Tacoma, they picked me up at 269 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 2: the airport. This black dude who looked like Tiger Woods. 270 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 2: Really nice guy, but I can't even find him. First 271 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 2: of all, my first time in Hawaii, I thought it 272 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 2: was gonna be like, you know, like the like in 273 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 2: a movie there lay back. Then it was just some 274 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 2: brother from Memphis. He was smoking a Newport in the airport, 275 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 2: bro like, he didn't give a fuck you. My man 276 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 2: use a comedian they call Felipe. I said, yeah, and 277 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 2: he's him, and I took off. Nice guy. I think 278 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: it was a pimp because he kept talking about how 279 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 2: that pitch maybe made me no money. That bitch copy 280 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: the airplane, take you a bus trip, made me no money. 281 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 2: He just kept saying that over and over on the 282 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 2: phone with somebody. Pitch made me no money. He took 283 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 2: me to go eat right away, immediately took me to 284 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 2: eat at a restaurant. And then he was like my escort, 285 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: which she would have drove me to the airport. But 286 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: so when I get to Takoma, I get picked up 287 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 2: by another handler, another guy, and he takes me to 288 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 2: the promoters guy's house and his mom is like the 289 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 2: late black lady, and he goes, hi, hi, man, I 290 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 2: always cook lunch for other comedians, and I'm like, I'm 291 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 2: gonna hood, bro the hood. And so she gives me 292 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 2: mac and cheese, and it's like and like she didn't 293 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 2: even mac and cheap, but like, I guess you made it. 294 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 2: In the morning, I go to the show and so 295 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 2: the whole show, bro is black people inside, some now 296 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 2: some white. That show was like they brought up half 297 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 2: of the town probably were not before me, Bro, So 298 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 2: like seventy they put up a rapper. They brought up 299 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 2: this woman to do a poem. Oh boy, this guy 300 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,719 Speaker 2: painted I guess I don't know what he did. Then 301 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 2: they brought up a local comedian who won the contest 302 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 2: and his destroyed bro before me. All these jokes were 303 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 2: references of people down the street that he knows, and 304 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 2: everybody knew him too. So are y'all know Pooky? 305 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 3: Right? 306 00:17:59,080 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 2: Everybody? 307 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 3: I know this? 308 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, and now you know it, motherfucker. 309 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 310 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 2: And then they bring me up bro, and man, nothing 311 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 2: bro like crickets. Creak is bro, crick is dog. Then 312 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 2: they get more mad when I said that Chris Rock 313 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 2: was right, man, there's black people. Then there's you guys 314 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 2: here right, fuck you motherfucker. And then and then this 315 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 2: guy this, this is how bad it was, how bad 316 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 2: I'm bothering it was. I was bowing so bad. There's 317 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 2: somebody from the floor road took it in my pants, 318 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 2: Oh my god, like pulling you up the word. Then 319 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 2: I tried to throw, try to row somebody was a 320 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 2: funny roast I heard on BT and I heard that 321 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 2: she bet in my lap, and then that who went 322 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 2: up there to have a row battle with me on 323 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,919 Speaker 2: stage one of the people on as you were as 324 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: you were bombing, Yeah, I can nothing ill Yeah, mid set, Bro, 325 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 2: we have a roast battle without me asking him across 326 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 2: chaotic already the audience and all my jokes are we're 327 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 2: now hitting the people because they're all like, I guess jokes. 328 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 2: That's only funny. I like they were telling each other 329 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 2: that I guess because I said that because I feel 330 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 2: wearing like those shoes with no socks, a get loafers, 331 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 2: like I was dressed real nice, but you need a 332 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 2: lot of lotion of ankles, you know. And I said, 333 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 2: damn man, when you make pizza up, but you gotta 334 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 2: make it with your hand, now your feet, And I said, 335 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 2: there's full other toxic pizza with your feet. And ship 336 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:52,679 Speaker 2: nothing bro, nothing, just some people like I can't hear 337 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 2: like laughter but not enough. So then like I walked 338 00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 2: off stage, boo, I walked off stage, and they took 339 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 2: me to start to the hotel, bro like like escort 340 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 2: and ship. It took me out of there, bro, like 341 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: a president about to be assassinated, Like they opened every 342 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 2: door in my head, like they rushed me. 343 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: Out of there. 344 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,679 Speaker 2: Brot here they were like when they show reggae bro, 345 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 2: like you know, like. 346 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 3: With Arendre. 347 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: With Arendre, what's the worst bomb you've ever seen Have 348 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:36,959 Speaker 1: you ever seen anybody else? 349 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 4: Have you ever seen fights on stage or anybody else 350 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 4: get the bottles thrown at them or anything like that. 351 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 2: Bro, I saw the worst bombing this guy at at 352 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,719 Speaker 2: one of the shows that I was on. He had 353 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 2: props first of all, and then he goes, he tells 354 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 2: this girl, hey, next time, if a pedus is too dirty, 355 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 2: wrap this around it, right? Can you throw that? I 356 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 2: heard it to ride in the head. And then he 357 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 2: said a lady goes, if you get lonely, hey, sit 358 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 2: on this. He throw the carrot at her. What Yeah, 359 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,359 Speaker 2: and what happened? Nobody laughing, bro, nobody laughing, and they 360 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 2: what made it worse? The host went up there and 361 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 2: the destroyd with talking about him and his props for 362 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes. Oh, making fun of the guy. Yeah, 363 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 2: this he was saying, like, Hey, normally I would never 364 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 2: see a comedian. It's not funny when I host the 365 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,920 Speaker 2: show and come up here because everybody's trying. But that 366 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 2: guy fucking saw No. I mean I got the worst 367 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 2: comic commentator. I mean that guy's bad, Like how does 368 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 2: he write these fucking jokes? What does he do with it? 369 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 2: But in the morning smoke a joint, open the refrigerator. 370 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 2: All right, what's funny today? Sausage hacky nah to teas. 371 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 2: Have you seen fights on stage? Yeah, man, yeah I 372 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 2: saw no. I saw this comedian who and who nor who? 373 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 2: I never seen kill right he was. It was in Bakersfield, California, 374 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 2: and yeah man, and we already went up on he 375 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 2: was like the host and we heard like a commotion 376 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 2: like yeah, and we were there talking to a bunch 377 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,640 Speaker 2: of girls and you know, some people were smoking bud 378 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 2: smoking cigarettes outside, but we were Yeah, he goes and 379 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: we were the fucked that guy never kills He's killing 380 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 2: him there. Yeah, open the door. It's just like six 381 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 2: foot three solo choking his ass. 382 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 3: Bro. 383 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 2: They're like he's strangling him on stage and half of 384 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 2: the audience is trying to get him off. But everybody's 385 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 2: going yeah, yeah. People are pumped because he was so bad. 386 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 2: It was bad. He like his side. So we were 387 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 2: at the cafe. Also shout out to the Cafe and 388 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 2: the Big Comedy Club on Lancashire and Jack Junior and 389 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 2: Jack and big shout out. It was his wife, Terry. 390 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 2: Big shout out, big shout out. I turned into a 391 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 2: billiards club. I don't care. I turned to a billiards 392 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 2: club anyways. So my friend bombed at the cafe and 393 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 2: made a big mistake, but a date and the day 394 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 2: was hot as hell. That's the worst, the worst, definitely, 395 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 2: And then they can bring out her stay Yeah. And 396 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 2: then all the other people around him were killing She 397 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 2: said outside, we're smoking a joint. He said, maybe enough 398 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 2: for you. Oh, he was giving her ship for not 399 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 2: laughing his day. Told him maybe stand up isn't For years, 400 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 2: they try to stop us, and we can't be stopped. 401 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 2: They try, bro, They tried to build walls between us, 402 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 2: but we built bridges. Hell. Yeah, man, believe it. Thank 403 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 2: you so much, thanks for having us. Been an honor 404 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 2: and a pleasure. Always good seeing you. 405 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 3: With aeric Andre. 406 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 2: All right, listen up, we got something sposial for you. 407 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about 408 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,120 Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. 409 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 2: Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Babo. 410 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy What 411 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: the fuck was I thinking? 412 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 2: What just happened? Moment? 413 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: So pick up your phone and dial seven to one 414 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: six bombing. That's seven one six two six six twenty 415 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: four sixty four and leave me a voicemail. 416 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 2: And we might just play it on a future episode. 417 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,880 Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will 418 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,160 Speaker 1: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive 419 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,919 Speaker 1: producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang, Our 420 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: research assistant is David Carliner. Our editor in sound designers 421 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go 422 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: rate us five stars and drop a review on your 423 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 1: podcast app a choice