1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heard radio podcast. Okay, 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 1: I am so excited for this week's podcast because I 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 1: have got my adorable niece and nephew on. Uh, let's 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: start with Dylan. Who's in my middle. Dylan, tell everyone 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: your age? Who you are? Yeah, I'm Dylan Kramer. I'm fourteen. Uh, 6 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 1: that's about it. And now there's Ava, my beautiful niece. Hi, 7 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 1: I'm fifteen, and yeah, that's here. For the longest time, guys, 8 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: I swear I'm still like yeah, I even Ni's nephew 9 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: like seven and eight. And then finally my Katherine was like, uh, 10 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: they're like thirteen in for I'm like now, I'm like okay, 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: now now I know they're fourtune and fifteen. Um. So 12 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: I wanted to have Ava and Dylan on because we 13 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: were having a conversation. Well, first off, this is the 14 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: first solo trip right that they ever took. Um, I've 15 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: been trying to get them to, you know, come down 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: and visit me, and so we finally talked about it 17 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: and I was able to fly them to Nashville. And 18 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: when we were talking, um, Dylan, it was actually you 19 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: and I. We were having a conversation and I was 20 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: just like, God, I'm like so many people, especially not 21 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: only parents, but like kids or adolescents. Set Um. I know, 22 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,680 Speaker 1: there's not like a ton of kids that listen to 23 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: this podcast, which is a good thing, but like you know, 24 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: just even the things that you were saying that was 25 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: so helpful for me as a mom and um So 26 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: I was just like, would you want to be on 27 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 1: the podcast? And then you said yes. I was really 28 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: excited because I was like because I saw when I 29 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: was coming, when I came in here to put on 30 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: my stuff down, I saw like the little like this 31 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: whole area of the whole setup right here, and I'm like, 32 00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: this is really cool. So, um so, what why would 33 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: you want or like what part of um coming on 34 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 1: the podcast? Like why why did you want to do that? 35 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: I feel like there's like just things that have like 36 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: the things we talked about should just like more people 37 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 1: should have to hear it because they're just important topics. Yeah, 38 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: which and Ava what about you baby? I mean I 39 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: feel like there's like a lot of topics that kids 40 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: go through, so like and like sometimes it's hard to 41 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: tell your parents, but there's like ways that you're acting 42 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: that kind of shows signs of like going through something hard. 43 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: So maybe it's like for parents who like listen to this, 44 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: they can like us from like what I'm saying to 45 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: see like find in their kids and like see what 46 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: their kids are going through. So let's start with that. 47 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: What is something that you for a parent that the 48 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: kids acting a certain way? Like what does that look like? Um? 49 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: I mean for me, like when I'm normally sad or 50 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: like going through something, I normally tend to not leave 51 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: my room and I'll tend to just like sit in 52 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: my room all day and like my go to thing 53 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: is like I'm tired, like I don't want to do anything, 54 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: like when I want to do something, but I'm just 55 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: like not like just not happy, sad. I'll just sit 56 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 1: in my bed all day and not leave my room 57 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: and not want to talk to anybody. Does it bother 58 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: you when your parents? Like what what helps that your 59 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: parents do? And what is something that is like it 60 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: would be better? And by the way, so this is 61 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: my niece and nephew. This is from my brother m 62 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: my older brothers kids. Um and uh, they got divorced 63 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: real early on, like when we were like babies like 64 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: one one and too. Yeah, um, so go ahead. Um. 65 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: I think maybe like when you're in your room or 66 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: like when you're sad, like the parents just like give 67 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: you space and just like respect your space that you're 68 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: like sad and just want to be left alone, but 69 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: then also like checking in but not like all the time, 70 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: just like every couple hours, just making sure they're okay, 71 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: or like trying to like talk to them and not 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: just completely leave them alone, but not like bother them 73 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: every ten minutes. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that would 74 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: be like such a balance for me because I'm always 75 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: like what's wrong, like and it's like to know do 76 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: you do you say like, hey, I just need some 77 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: space right now. Yeah. Normally when to my mom, like 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: when i'm sad, I'm just like I don't want to 79 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: talk to anybody right now, Like I just want to 80 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: be left alone and I'll come talk to you when 81 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: I'm ready to talk about things, but I just want 82 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: to be left alone right now. But you would get 83 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: annoyed if the parent was like keeps asking, keeps asking, 84 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: and then and then I feel like in a way, 85 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: you would shell up and you wouldn't want to then 86 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: have a conversation. Dylan, is that kind of the same 87 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: for you, but for me, it's a little bit different. 88 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: Like my mom just kind of like she just, you 89 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: know how like parents are just come in your room, 90 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: check on you, just in the middle of the day. 91 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: She'll they'll normally my mom will just typically pick up 92 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: if something's wrong and then just try and like pry 93 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: it out of me, sometimes trying to help. Yeah, she 94 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: tries to help me by Yeah, that's that's her method. 95 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: Normally it works, and then we end up just having 96 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: a conversation about like what's wrong some of it. Most 97 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,559 Speaker 1: of the time I try not to tell her because 98 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: I just I don't know. Normally, I like just keeping 99 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: like my things to myself and I kind of just 100 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: figure it out, you know. But is there a reason 101 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: why you don't want to tell because I think that's 102 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: like when, you know, even when I talk to Julian, 103 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 1: I know she's young, but I'm like, hey, Jeli, you 104 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: can tell me anything. You can talk to me like 105 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: I'm I'm you know, whatever, and so what why wouldn't 106 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: you want to say something? I don't know, honestly, it's 107 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 1: just like sometimes I'm just afraid of like just conversations. 108 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just I feel like a lot of the 109 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: times I either just figured out myself or like sometimes 110 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 1: when I go to therapy, my therapist helps me out, 111 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: but you know, just sometimes I just most of the 112 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: time I figure it out by myself. So let's talk 113 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: about that piece. You've been going to therapy for how long? 114 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,840 Speaker 1: Since about third grade? Third grade? And why did you 115 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: go into therapy? Um, It's kind of hard to remember, 116 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,239 Speaker 1: but I'm pretty sure just like so many like thoughts 117 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: and struggles as a little kid, you know, there was 118 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: a lot of like like loss of innocence type things 119 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: I was going through at the time that really had 120 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: like an effect on like my younger childhood days. So 121 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: I just started going to the same doctor. I still 122 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,799 Speaker 1: go to her. Um. Yeah, and it really honestly helps. 123 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: What's been the biggest benefit you've seen going to therapy? Honestly, 124 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: like ever since I don't know if this kind of 125 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: is the same, but ever since they put me on 126 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: the medicine, that's honestly really helped. And just like having 127 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: somebody even if there's nothing wrong, just having somebody to 128 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: go to talk to, like about your week, it just 129 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 1: really helps. Yeah, But because how long have you been 130 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: going for Um, I just started. I mean I had 131 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,799 Speaker 1: a therapist. I used to go to um Dylan's therapist 132 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: in fifth grade for about like a couple of months. 133 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 1: But then with just like anxiety attacks when I was 134 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: just I don't know what it was about, but I 135 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: used to do that. And then I just started going 136 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: um like in August, and I've just been going to 137 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: her once a week every Wednesday. And I don't even 138 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: have things to talk about most of the time. I 139 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 1: just sit there and I'll have like a conversation. So 140 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: like when something does like strike me or like I 141 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: have an anxiety attack or like depression, like she knows 142 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: how to help me because I like talk to her 143 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: about my life, so she knows how to approach it 144 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: with me. So fourteen and fifteen, where is y'all's anxiety 145 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: coming from? Like what is this stem for you guys? 146 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: Where that's coming from? I would say my biggest is 147 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: school and doing school work, because I mean I have 148 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: volleyball and just like all of that like pile on 149 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: top of it in school work, and then teachers like 150 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: sometimes I'm as lenient with like do dates and stuff 151 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: or like when things are going on in your life, 152 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: like they don't really understand, so they'll just like pile 153 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: on work and like it's just causes anxiety because like 154 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: you need to get it done because they won't accept 155 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: it late. And it's like just a lot. What about 156 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: for you, buddy? Honestly, it's yeah, it's pretty much just 157 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: great since just likes the pressure. And also on a 158 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: different note, just stuff like we like we're exposed to 159 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: these days, were exposed to like so much, like what 160 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: like just like because you know, we have all the 161 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: social media and stuff, so like we just see a 162 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: lot of stuff, right, Yeah, I mean I feel like, 163 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: um with social media definitely causes more anxiety, I guess 164 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: with just like especially with friends and like school and 165 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. It's like seeing that like certain 166 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: things like like what what's giving me a certain thing? 167 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: Like when you don't get invited to something, and like 168 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: you're like you have like a friend group and they're 169 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: all hanging out without you, and then you're kind of 170 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: just like scrolling through your phone, like just laying in 171 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: bed and all you see is like pictures and videos 172 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: of your friends together and you're like, man, why I 173 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: get invited? Yeah, it's just kind of stressful too, just like, oh, 174 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: like do they not want to be friends with me? 175 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: And then when you try to talk to them about it, 176 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 1: it's like they're like no, like we just didn't like 177 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: you'll come next time, Like we just didn't know you 178 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: wanted to come. And it's just don't people know that 179 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: everyone wants to be like I don't want to come 180 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 1: to things. I just want to be invited. Yeah, you know, 181 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: I would like to actually stay at home, but being 182 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: invited it feels good because if not, it feels you 183 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: feel left out and you go, will something wrong with me? Like? 184 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: And I mean that's kind of my biggest thing because 185 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: like I've been in so many friend groups. I had 186 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: a friend group pretty much growing up, like we were close, 187 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 1: our parents are all still close, and I would feel 188 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: like at times like I would not be invited to 189 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: things like when we would all go camping together, like 190 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: they would all hang out and then kind of like 191 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: leave me behind. And then even last year I had 192 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: a friend group too, and they would like just hang 193 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: out without me, And I'm like, what wasn't me? Am 194 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: I the one that's like driving them away? Like do 195 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: they not want to hang out with me? Or is 196 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: it just like I'm just they don't want to invite me, 197 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: like because they were all friends before, so I was like, 198 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 1: am I just not a part of it? So it's 199 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: kind of like stressful to be like what's the talk 200 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: that you can like, what what do you do to 201 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: to to regulate the self talk with that? Well, in 202 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: that moment, like when I realized I'm not invited, I 203 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: like think like, oh, like they don't want to be 204 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: friends with me. But then I also think to the 205 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: times were like I was invited and then maybe some 206 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: else in the friend group wasn't invited, and I kind 207 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: of like reflect on that, I'm like, well, they maybe 208 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: felt the same way, and I feel like sometimes not 209 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: everybody can like be together at the same time. So 210 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: that's kind of like my thought process when I'm really 211 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: thinking about it. And how do you guys work through 212 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: I want to talk about depression to you, but how 213 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: do you guys work through the steps of like when 214 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: you get an anxiety attack? Like would it would are 215 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,839 Speaker 1: tools because a lot of people that listen to the 216 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: show um not only have kids that have anxiety, but 217 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: also they suffer themselves, and so I think, you know, 218 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: I would say, like you gotta have a toolbox full 219 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: of stuff because what what What might work one day 220 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: for anxiety might not work the next day. Like I 221 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: used to do this thing where I count backwards from 222 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: five to one and some days it would work in 223 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: all our days and like screw, Like this isn't working. 224 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: And now I'm like and so then you go to, Okay, 225 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: what's the next thing in my toolbox that I can 226 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: potentially work on? So is there anything that has been 227 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 1: helpful for you guys when you go through those moments? 228 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: For me, I just distracted myself. I use anything, every 229 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: anything and everything that like just around me, and I 230 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: distract myself. Um. For me, I do have a really 231 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: close relationship with my mom, and I think that's something 232 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: really important, like to be close with your parents, and 233 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: like for parents to be close with their kids because 234 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,599 Speaker 1: whenever and my dad too, like whenever I'm upset, like 235 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 1: I can always go tell my parents, Like if I'm 236 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: having anxiety, like the first thing I do is I'll 237 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: tell one of my parents. But another thing is because 238 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,599 Speaker 1: they're supportive when when you are going to them. I 239 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 1: think that's key too. Instead of being like, oh you're fine, 240 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: it's they talk to you about it. I think just 241 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,079 Speaker 1: having someone like you trust, especially like your parents are 242 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: just like someone you know has been through stuff too, 243 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: Like you can go to them and talk to them 244 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: and then they can help you. But one thing I 245 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: also do is I like clean and like distract myself. 246 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: So like sometimes I'll catch myself like cleaning my room 247 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,719 Speaker 1: at one in the morning because I'm just like so 248 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: stressed and it just helps me clear my mind and 249 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: I'll listen to music and that's one of my main 250 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 1: coping ways. Yeah, that's good. I like that. It was 251 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: kind of interesting when we were at church, to remember 252 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: they were talking about the three a m. In the 253 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,079 Speaker 1: middle of the night. I loved that, Like I was 254 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,599 Speaker 1: just like, what was he saying? I wrote down on 255 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: my phone. It was it was very profound when we 256 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: were in church, and it was like listening to it. 257 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: But what did he say? He said, um Um, I 258 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 1: wrote it in my loan notes. It says, uh, because 259 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: when the night gets the darkest, that's when the light 260 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: hits its hardest. So it's like you might feel so 261 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: dark in that moment and it's it's and I'm nice 262 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: to have the same thing where I'd wake up at 263 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning, and it's like instead of 264 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: looking at it like, oh my god, I'm alone and 265 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: it's dark and I have anxiety, it's like this is 266 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,719 Speaker 1: when this is when the light is like going to 267 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: hit you hard. So depression, what do you guys think 268 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 1: is you guys are struggling with on a depression level 269 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: in with where you guys are at age wise. Honestly, 270 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: for me, like how like my depression just builds its 271 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: just honestly builds on each other or itself. Like sometimes 272 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: it'll just be nothing, but then like I'll just start 273 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: feeling MOPy, sad, I don't want to do anything, and 274 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: then pile that on with like all the task I 275 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: have to do throughout the day, and then it just 276 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: builds upon itself and then it just gets worse from there. 277 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: Do you do you have a thing where you can 278 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: go back to and go, Okay, this is where it 279 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: kind of stems from. I try to, but some of 280 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: the times that doesn't always work. Okay some of the times. Yeah, 281 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 1: I think for me, like my main like stem cause 282 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: of it has to go Like I do a lot 283 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 1: with friend issues, so like that's mainly like the cause 284 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 1: of like trying to fit in, you know, as like 285 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: a sophomore girl in high school now trying to like 286 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: fit in social media, like dressed way the other girls dressed, 287 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: trying to be like just like everyone else, like everyone 288 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: wants to be like each other, and it's just kind 289 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: of hard like to try and fit in. And then 290 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 1: when you feel like you're not fit in, like you're 291 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: not fitting in with them, you start to, like, especially 292 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: for me, like a sad And then it just has 293 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: a lot to do with like relationships with people and 294 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: like stuff like that like causes like boyfriends and friends 295 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: and all that really causes like some hard depression and 296 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: just sadness. Do you think your life would have been less, 297 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: have less depression, less anxiety there wasn't social media, I 298 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: think yeah, because I feel like sometimes I tried thinking 299 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 1: like wait, what if I just got rid of like 300 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: all my social media? But then the thing is is 301 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: like that's all everybody uses, and all everyone uses a 302 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: snatchet and TikTok and Instagram, Facebook, well not kids, but 303 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: you know, and I feel like if I get rid 304 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: of it, then I'm just kind of like not going 305 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: to be with Yeah, So I feel like if nobody 306 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: had anything, it would be way better because, like my 307 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: mom always tells me when she was a kid, like 308 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: they didn't have social media and everybody would just like 309 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: hang out and like go out with like no phones 310 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 1: and like no social media, And I feel like that 311 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: would just make everything better. I honestly agree with that. 312 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: It's but you know, I still have to kind of 313 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: have it. As she said, I don't want to isolate myself. 314 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: I want to get out there. But so what do 315 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: you think the balance is? Then? Um, you know, I 316 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: feel like I don't know, because it's just kind of 317 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: hard because like everybody, that's all everybody uses. Like I'll 318 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: try and text you my friends and they won't answer, 319 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: but then I'll like send them something on Snapchat and 320 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: they respond right away. So I feel like there's been 321 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: times where I have deleted like Snapchat or like I've 322 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: not been allowed to use it, and I've just been 323 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: so like left out and like like never was invited 324 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: to anything, never like and I lost like a lot 325 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: of my friends because of it. So I don't know, 326 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: I feel like, just know your limits with it. I 327 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: guess I think it's hard to because they're so the 328 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: bullying and I think which what The bullying that can 329 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: happen on social media too is just unlike anything I've 330 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: ever It's horrible. Yeah, I mean I've had hate pages 331 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 1: made about me. I've had these like stupid TikTok accounts 332 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 1: made where they're like the post a video of me 333 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: and be like if a Kramer cheated on her boyfriend 334 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: eight times, And I'm like just like stuff like that, 335 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: Like people just post anything to try and get attention, 336 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: and it's really just stupid. And like people will like 337 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: tell me, they'll just like text me to nowhere and 338 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: be like you're ugly, and then like the biggest thing 339 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: that people say is like you're a whore is what 340 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: people will tend to say to each other, especially like 341 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: girls to girls are like a guy to it and 342 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: because like Katherine will say like you whore, but like 343 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: as a joke, yeah, I know, like they mean it 344 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: seriously seriously like they I feel like one of the 345 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: biggest like bullying things is like guys tend to like 346 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: shame girls what and I feel like just as kids, 347 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: just like yeah and just like that and like guys 348 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: and I feel like a lot of girls like now 349 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: like want like that male attention and all that stuff. 350 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: And then with like when a girl doesn't get that, 351 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: they tend to like be like depressed or like sad, 352 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: and then a guy will like start slut shaming them 353 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 1: and all that. And I feel like that's just like 354 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: the main thing of so some media, especially like with 355 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: like I hear stories from girls like in my grade 356 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,440 Speaker 1: all like I'll overhear them talking the hallway about like 357 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: stuff that's going on between like her and a guy, 358 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: and like what a guy says to them. I think 359 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, it's it's it's terrible because half 360 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: of these things these people are saying, like whether it's 361 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 1: online or behind someone's back, they would never say to 362 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 1: their face. That's how bad it is. It's just they 363 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,440 Speaker 1: always yeah, they're they're never going to say this type 364 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 1: of stuff to the person's face, so they just do 365 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: it over social media. Yeah, I mean that's what I mean. 366 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:35,120 Speaker 1: Y'all seen my, my my that. Yeah. Those Native people, 367 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 1: it's like if you actually knocked down their door and 368 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: said would you like to I mean maybe some of 369 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: them would still say to my face, but I just 370 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: it's so hard because like I can sit here and 371 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: tell you guys, you guys don't listen to that. You 372 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: guys are both you know, you're beautiful, You're just like 373 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,160 Speaker 1: you're stunned, like you guys are just amazing, um and 374 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: your talented like all the things. But it's like when 375 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: you're seeing something like this and you're reading things and 376 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: you're having to have these because high school feels so big. 377 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean, it feels like it's the only thing in 378 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: the world and it's like the biggest thing ever. It's like, 379 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: you remember when Matthew, my high school sweetheart, cheated on me. 380 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: I was like, my life is over. It's like everything 381 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,480 Speaker 1: just feels and like and I'm like, you know, I 382 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: want to be guys, Like there's so much you know, 383 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 1: more out there and it's and but I also remember 384 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: how I felt when I was in that moment and 385 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: my mom was saying this same thing, and it's like 386 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: that doesn't help me when she said that, But I'm curious, 387 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: like what would help? Yeah, I mean, one thing my 388 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 1: mom does say to me, she's like and I've kind 389 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 1: of like had to realize it myself. But it's like, 390 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,120 Speaker 1: in four years, it's not gonna matter. Like she told 391 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: me that all freshman year. She was like when you 392 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: graduate from high school, none of the populated kids are 393 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: gonna be popular. Like when you go to college, like 394 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 1: none of this is gonna matter, and the kids who 395 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: like like end up like bullying and like all that stuff, 396 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: they're going to be the ones who are like struggling 397 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: to get into college and do good in their life. 398 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 1: So I feel like that really helped me because then 399 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: I was kind of like, Okay, so like I don't 400 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: need to worry about this, Like I need to worry 401 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: about myself and like do good in tests, do going 402 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: to test, do good just in school in general, And 403 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: then like one day when high school is over, because 404 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,639 Speaker 1: I mean I have two years left and I go 405 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: to college and I feel like there's so many colleges 406 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: where it's not gonna matter who you're with in four years. Yeah, 407 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 1: how are you guys though? With are you guys? Because 408 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: obviously people have unfortunately bullied you. How are you on 409 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 1: social media? Like what do you do back in retaliation? 410 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 1: Do you want to go? Well, honestly, for me, like 411 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 1: I'm not like as out there as Eva, Like she's like, 412 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm just so there hasn't been like pages made about me, 413 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: but I know like a lot of people, don't. I know, 414 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: people who don't like me. You know, well, it's kind 415 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,239 Speaker 1: of like, you know, I'm I'm a little like I'm 416 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 1: a little bit more like different. You know, he's more 417 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: into like his own things. I'm into my own stuff. Yeah, 418 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: and that's that's not different. That's just you like different things. 419 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: That doesn't make you like. Don't label yourself as different. 420 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: You're like you just you like other things, and that's okay. 421 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: Don't let anyone just because you don't just because you're 422 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 1: not into football, into football or yeah, the you know whatever, 423 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't you're you're so knowledgeable. I mean, my goodness, gracious, 424 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: move went to the zoo and the plants, Like you 425 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: are the most knowledgeable young man I've ever met. And 426 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 1: it's like, I that to me is so much like 427 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: you have so much intelligence, Like that's amazing, Like you 428 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: should own that and don't say you're different, because you're 429 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,120 Speaker 1: so special in like the most amazing way. Like those 430 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 1: football guys would love to have a little piece of 431 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: your knowledge. But yes, I mean, do you like, how 432 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,679 Speaker 1: do you does that weigh on you? That is that 433 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: what causes maybe some of the depression, maybe a little bit, 434 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: but that's not like that it doesn't really get to 435 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: me because I know my worth. Yes, I love that. 436 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,880 Speaker 1: And would you incurage other parents to put their kids 437 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: into therapy? Honestly, yes, I would, because if you can 438 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: really get to know somebody and trust them, even if 439 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 1: like as like in the younger in the younger days, 440 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 1: not a lot going on, but if they just have 441 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 1: someone to talk to and get to know, when they 442 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: do get older and they start having these issues, they 443 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: have someone they can go right to and help them 444 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: solve out their problems. I selfishly want to ask with them, 445 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: why not the mom? I know there needs to be 446 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 1: and hey, I'm gonna probably most likely you know, put 447 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: Jolie and Jason into you know, a therapy at some point, 448 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 1: But like what is the piece that like you wouldn't 449 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 1: feel comfortable talking to your parents? One thing? Like why 450 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: I went to therapy? Like my main reason it was 451 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: because you know, I tell my mom literally everything, like everything, 452 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,120 Speaker 1: even if it doesn't involve me, like some some drama 453 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,919 Speaker 1: happen in school, Like I tell my mom and I 454 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: feel like like I can trust my mom and I 455 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: can trust my parents, but I feel like my mom 456 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: didn't go to school to be like a therapist or 457 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 1: like like going to counseling. So I feel like having 458 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: somebody who like actually like their profession is to help 459 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: you and be able to listen and talk to you 460 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 1: through things is like why, Like I think kids should 461 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: go into therapy because you can tell your parents, you 462 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: can trust your parents. But I feel like some things 463 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 1: they're not, Like they didn't go to school to learn. 464 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,360 Speaker 1: Like my therapist she went to school to learn how 465 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: to Like, we definitely didn't go to school to learn. 466 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 1: I didn't learn much. I mean like, yeah, when I 467 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,719 Speaker 1: have my really good perspective, I like that a lot 468 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: because that's what even my mom told me. She was like, like, 469 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: when you go into therapy, like you can tell me everything, 470 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 1: And I do tell her everything, but it's like she 471 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,679 Speaker 1: went to school to do I don't know what, but 472 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: not be a therapist theist. Yeah, and there's different things 473 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 1: that they have a different way of looking at things 474 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: than maybe a parent's two and like something that they 475 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 1: would probably have a better response or not a better response, 476 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 1: but a response that you and really um connect to. Yeah, 477 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 1: And I feel like a therapist is like more real 478 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: to you, Like when I tell my mom stuff. You know, 479 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: she's always gonna take my side, like she's not going 480 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: to take someone else's side. But then when you talk 481 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: to your therapist, are like, well, maybe you know, like 482 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have done this to that person, like they 483 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 1: can give you like their perspective when your parents are 484 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: like they're gonna give Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's all really 485 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: good information. Yeah that makes sense a lot, same for you, Dylan, Yeah, 486 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: probably the same for me. It's just honestly, I just 487 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: I like talking to the therapist a bit more. That's 488 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 1: just honestly, just that's just what I prefer. That's just 489 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: preference for me. It's almost like you're able to be 490 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 1: more open. Yeah, but it's I want to even say 491 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,919 Speaker 1: it's about being more open. It's just honestly, like I 492 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: just like having somebody who's just like not in the family, 493 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: just because it's like it's like anonymously talking on it. Right. Yeah, No, 494 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,359 Speaker 1: I like that. That's cool. What Um and Dylan, we 495 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: kind of talked about this the other night. But what 496 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: do you think. I mean, obviously your parents got divorceder 497 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 1: my brother and your your your mom got divorced really young, 498 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: and I know you guys don't remember it, but through 499 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: the co parenting, Like, what is the one thing that 500 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 1: like I I can learn or make sure that I'm doing. Yeah, 501 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: co parenting is like that's like a really like how 502 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 1: you like do this in their younger days is going 503 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: to have a giant effect on how they like. I'm like, 504 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,719 Speaker 1: I don't honestly their mental health in the future. All 505 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: I'm in all you should do is like as of 506 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: right now, just try to maintain some sort of like 507 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: in front of the kids, some sort of positive relationship 508 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: between you and Mike. Yeah. I mean you guys saw 509 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: us at the basketball game. That was good. That's like 510 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,920 Speaker 1: exactly it. Yeah, because I feel like when I hear 511 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: stories or like when I talk to my friends his 512 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: parents are also divorced, they're like yeah, like like having 513 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: two parents is like so hard, and it's like because 514 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,479 Speaker 1: you know, their parents aren't close, and it's like I 515 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,199 Speaker 1: hate having the fact that I have to go like 516 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,480 Speaker 1: to two different houses for Christmas and my family can't 517 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: be together. But for me, honestly think if it as 518 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: a plus and not the fact that I get to 519 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 1: Christmas present, I just know I can trust both them 520 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,919 Speaker 1: and that they're like good with each other together, and 521 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 1: it just makes me feel a lot more comfortable like 522 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: having divorced parents, because I mean, my whole life, I 523 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: grew up with having divorced parents, but I mean my 524 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:18,360 Speaker 1: whole life, they've been able to like work together together. Yeah, 525 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: and that's really helped me knowing that my parents are 526 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: like still like my parents and they like obviously be 527 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: like I don't know how to explain it, like they 528 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 1: just know they can co parent together, and that's really 529 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 1: helpful for exactly. Do you think it was easier too 530 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: that you guys were younger? Yah, I look at you 531 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:54,160 Speaker 1: know when the divorce, the divorce that your dad and I, um, 532 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: I went through with our parents, and it was I mean, 533 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,360 Speaker 1: your dad was let's see, if I was thirteen fourteen, 534 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,719 Speaker 1: he was fifteen sixteen, and we saw a lot of 535 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: stuff that we should not have seen. We were witnessed 536 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: to a lot of stuff, and I think that really 537 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: shaped my adolescent years. And you know, same with him, 538 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 1: and a lot of stuff that like, you know, I 539 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: know that he personally, you know, deals with from that 540 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 1: like childhood trauma. I guess place um, but I don't know, 541 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: Like I obviously I hate the fact that Julian Jason 542 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 1: are in a separate house. Having said that, you know, 543 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: I think at the age was helpful. No, I don't 544 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,239 Speaker 1: think they're going to remember too much. And so that's 545 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: why I'm really trying, like okay, like you know, inviting 546 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,919 Speaker 1: my acts to the birthday parties and like just trying 547 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: to have something that like they can see us, like 548 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,680 Speaker 1: you said, together and that's the best thing you could do. Yeah, 549 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 1: and then I can still have my own personal feelings 550 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 1: on whatever. But in front of the kids, like I mean, 551 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: I like, yeah, that was Schuman Shuman laughing. Yeah, Like no, 552 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,280 Speaker 1: but I mean I mean we're good. You know, we 553 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 1: have days, right, but like good and bad. But I think, um, yeah, 554 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,239 Speaker 1: I think that's a really good thing. And is there 555 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 1: anything else that you should think that I should be 556 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: aware of, Like that's not a good thing to do, 557 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: or I have to think of past experiences, probably not 558 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: having a relation, like not having the kids meet I 559 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 1: mean the kids have only met one person, honestly, Like 560 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 1: when um our mom remarried, that was honestly, like that 561 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 1: was a good thing because I felt like, honestly, it 562 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,679 Speaker 1: was just like it was a really good thing to 563 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: happen after the divorce. It's another parent in your life, 564 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 1: another parent, because I mean, we love our stepdad, we 565 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: love our stepmom, like and they're two like really good 566 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: people who we are very fortunate to have in our life, 567 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: and that we can also trust them, like I can 568 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,239 Speaker 1: trust my stepdad and I trust my stepmom like and 569 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 1: you know, I think it's good to have that relationship 570 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: or like bonus parents exactly. But your mom will always 571 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,679 Speaker 1: be your mom, your dad will always be her. And 572 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: I think that's when as when I was going through 573 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: why I didn't want to divorce your uncle Mike, But 574 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 1: it was because I was like, I don't want someone 575 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 1: else to raise my kids. But at the end of 576 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: the day, like your mom's your mom, your dad's your dad. 577 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 1: And I said, of people get to like Kristen, who's 578 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: I love her and she's you know, your stepmom and 579 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 1: she's my sister in law, but like, and I adore her. 580 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,159 Speaker 1: So it's like, oh my god, that's so cool. Like 581 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: she gets to love the kids, to like more people 582 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 1: to love you guys. It's amazing. I never really thought 583 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,680 Speaker 1: of it as like a negative type of thing because 584 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: I know, like my dad, like I always love him 585 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: as my dad and like nobody can replace him, and 586 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: nobody can replace my mom. And I think just having 587 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: like a stepmom and a stepdad too, that just can 588 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: like help because I think it's hard being like a 589 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: single parent, especially because when I was like little, little er, 590 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,320 Speaker 1: my parents were like I don't know, I just felt 591 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 1: like it was more hard for them. So having another 592 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: person to come in and help with the income and 593 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,200 Speaker 1: like just like help them, like help us and just 594 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: be a good parent for us is like really helpful 595 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: and like good for kids to It's interesting because a 596 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: lot of times, like I remember, um, people are like 597 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: wait till the kids are older to like settle down, 598 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 1: Um just focus on and it's like, yes, my focus 599 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 1: is always the kids, but the waiting to settle down, 600 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 1: I'm like I I would think that it would be 601 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: I mean, either one like right, you gotta do it's 602 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 1: ever best for you, so something, you know, nine, I 603 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: know some people that have waited until, you know, getting 604 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: remarried or getting into relationships until after the kids are older. 605 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: But also like my kids are so young that, yeah, 606 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: it is nice to have that partner and then of 607 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: all them also to have that family. Yeah, I think, 608 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: I mean, you settle whenever you're ready to settle. I 609 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: feel like there's not like a never settle baby, never 610 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: settle you love and yeah, never settle, you know you 611 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Um, I think just like getting 612 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,480 Speaker 1: into another relationship, it's like and like getting married and 613 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: having another person there for your kids, Like there's never 614 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: really a time for that, it's just whatever it feels right. 615 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 1: But like I think that just having like your kids 616 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 1: grow up with another person there, because you know, we 617 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: grew up with our stepdad there, so we basically he's 618 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 1: like a glued in peace to our family, like when 619 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 1: we think about like our family, like he's like in 620 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: there in same with my stepmom. We didn't grow up 621 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 1: with her, but I mean we've known her for like 622 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: a long time. And for me, honestly, having this person 623 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: like come into their life when they're younger is better 624 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: than old when they're older, because when they're older, this 625 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: random person is just going to try and enter their 626 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 1: life and they're like what instead of like when they're 627 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,640 Speaker 1: little and they'll always be there. Yeah. I think just 628 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: like growing up with that that person also helps because 629 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: I feel like now if like my parents weren't married 630 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: and they just got married, and then there's just like 631 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 1: this guy like trying to come in and like trying 632 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 1: to like parent me. But I mean, like I'm an older, 633 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: moody teenager, like the old I'm gonna please be the 634 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: title of this podcast, old moody teenager. I just feel 635 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 1: like with that, like it would just be harder to 636 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: like a just and you just have so many feelings 637 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: when you're older, and I feel like it would just 638 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 1: be like kind of more more difficult. But I mean, 639 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: I think people should just do what's right. But I 640 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: mean I feel like for me growing up with having 641 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 1: a step dad, like enter my life when I was 642 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,479 Speaker 1: like four, no younger than that, right, like three, Well, 643 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: you guys were able to have that family even though 644 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: it looked a little different. You have two homes, like 645 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: you were able to have that family unit. But I 646 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: think you know, at the end of the day, you 647 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 1: got to do what's best and do not settle because 648 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: never settled. I love my family three and I would 649 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: never settle again for because I know what my kids deserve, 650 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: I know what I deserve, and I think you know, 651 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: it has to be that right puzzle piece. Yeah, exact, 652 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: perfect puzzle perfect. What is something else that you guys 653 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: want to either say two kids out there, like a 654 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,479 Speaker 1: message to bullies or to the parents, or like, what 655 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,800 Speaker 1: is something like if you could have one thing that 656 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: you just want to say or a few things that 657 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: you just something that needs to either be known or 658 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 1: that you just want to say that you feel strongly about. Yeah, 659 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: and what is that to you? Just don't let anybody 660 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 1: define who you are as a person. You You're yourself 661 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: and nobody should ever have the right to change that. Yeah, 662 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 1: I kind of saying like what he's saying, but like 663 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: you should know who you are and never like change 664 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 1: yourself for other people. And you should just have people 665 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: love you for who you are. And if they don't 666 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: love you for who you are, then they're not the 667 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 1: right person. And I mean you can see that with 668 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 1: friends relationships, and then for parents, I feel like when 669 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: your kid is like you never know really what your 670 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 1: kid is going through. It's kind of hard to tell 671 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: because kids are like really good at hiding things. Because 672 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: I've had so many things from my mom like when 673 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: I was and you guys are close, yeah, and when 674 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to tell her like I just felt 675 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: like I couldn't. I eventually did, but I mean, like 676 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: just over time, I just I think you should just 677 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: like be there for your kids no matter what. And 678 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: they might not always tell you everything, and they might 679 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 1: just act kind of distant, but just like you can 680 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: be there from them and like remind them that like 681 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 1: you're there for them, that you love them, that they're loved, 682 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,080 Speaker 1: and yeah, to be consistent and you know what, I 683 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 1: want you guys to remember and know you're worth too 684 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: when you get into those moments. I think it's so easy. 685 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 1: I mean I do the same thing. I get on 686 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: here and I'm like, I know you're worth and don't 687 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,560 Speaker 1: settle and you know, love yourself and don't read those 688 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: hate pages. And then two hours later I'm like, so 689 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 1: it's like I think you know you were. We also 690 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 1: have to take in what we say and know that, um, 691 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 1: you know who you are. And I think it always 692 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 1: goes back to like in those places like when you're 693 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 1: not invited, or when you feel depressed or someone's being 694 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: mean to your bullying, it's like, what is the truth? 695 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: You know? And like that's what I think you should 696 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 1: go back through. The truth is you are worthy you 697 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,360 Speaker 1: are enough. You are smart, but you and you're not 698 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,239 Speaker 1: book smart. Okay we didn't we didn't we didn't get 699 00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: that gene. Okay, we didn't even see. Yeah, we were 700 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,760 Speaker 1: counting in our fingers, like I mean, and I felt 701 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: seen so thank you so, But I mean, you know 702 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 1: and you know. So It's like we all have our 703 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 1: our things and our strengths, and I think we just 704 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 1: need to, like what the truth is that we are 705 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: all all we are all good enough, we're all worthy, 706 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,239 Speaker 1: and we just if someone isn't being kind to us, 707 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 1: we'd be kind to them no matter what. I think. 708 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 1: One thing is like you shouldn't like take into perspective 709 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,359 Speaker 1: that everybody's going through something and that you never know 710 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,600 Speaker 1: what someone's going through. And I mean, just like just 711 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,040 Speaker 1: I can't say be nice to everybody, because you know, 712 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,359 Speaker 1: people aren't nice to everybody. I mean, there's been times 713 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: when I've been mean to people, and I feel like 714 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 1: it's just like I don't I don't like being mean 715 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: to people, but then there's also been times where I've 716 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: been mean to people. People have been mean to me. 717 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: But I feel like, just know that like everybody's kind 718 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 1: of going through the same thing. And that you should 719 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,160 Speaker 1: just treat everybody, like try your hardest to just treat 720 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 1: everybody good because you never know, like something you could 721 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: say could be someone's last straw or and you don't 722 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: want to, like you never know what someone's going through 723 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,799 Speaker 1: their internal battle. And that's what I said. I got 724 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: had this one Instagram question the other day. Someone was like, 725 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: who is the rudest celebrity you ever met? And I'm like, 726 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: I'm not going to answer that because like, first of all, 727 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: I had no idea what they were going through on 728 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,479 Speaker 1: that day. And there's been times when people have caught 729 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,879 Speaker 1: me on bad days because I was insecure about something, 730 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: or Mike and I were fighting or something. It's like 731 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 1: and I probably didn't I probably might not have been 732 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: nice because we don't I don't know someone that has 733 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: been nice every single day, but we can try to 734 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 1: do better the next day and we can. Again, like 735 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 1: you just don't know what someone's personally going through, So 736 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,399 Speaker 1: it's like just be kind you haven't you know even 737 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 1: the mean people that are not being mean, and just 738 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: remember the truth and remember your worth. One thing I 739 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,399 Speaker 1: had one thing I like reflect on is sometimes like 740 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 1: when I mean to somebody like in the past, I 741 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: like tend to be like, oh, like I'll feel really 742 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 1: bad about it, and I'll like either send them a 743 00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: text message or I'll DM them. I'm like hey, like 744 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like I was just going through some things 745 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 1: and like I didn't mean anything, just like I just 746 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: wanted to say sorry. Like I always have to apologize 747 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,400 Speaker 1: for my actions because I feel like you just never know, 748 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 1: and I feel like talking to somebody and like like 749 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: saying like like sorry, it's just really helpful because you 750 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: never know, like someone could be so mean to me 751 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,400 Speaker 1: and like say something mean to me, or getting a 752 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,360 Speaker 1: fight with a boyfriend and then they like text and 753 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm like really upset over it and like you know, 754 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 1: just get like depression thoughts and then I'm just saying sorry. 755 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 1: It's like really yeah, it washes the energy away too. 756 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: And also it's like because you're not a mean person. 757 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,240 Speaker 1: I'm not a mean person. You're not a mean person. 758 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: No one likes to be me. And I remember one 759 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 1: time I yelled, so I'll I'll say this is um 760 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,279 Speaker 1: because I announced that, you know, I'm doing a new 761 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 1: house and I was having uh something was going to 762 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,480 Speaker 1: maybe potentially be in the backyard, and I was like, 763 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 1: but my privacy, and I got really angry and I 764 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: yelled and I ended up. Whenever I yell or if 765 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: I might potentially be mean, I just cry because I 766 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 1: feel awful, Like I don't like the way that it 767 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 1: makes me feel. I don't like the fact that I 768 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,919 Speaker 1: might have hurt someone or they saw a different side 769 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: of me that's not really me. And I remember I 770 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,279 Speaker 1: just wrote like this long thing going like I'm really sorry. 771 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: I was really struggling with the fact and and at 772 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,399 Speaker 1: first I just said sorry, right, because you don't want 773 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 1: to be like but um, and then when the conversation opens, 774 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 1: that's and I'm like, yeah, I was just I was 775 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:20,359 Speaker 1: struggling with some stuff and and um. You know, once 776 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 1: that's done and the conversations, it's like, oh, like, well, 777 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,440 Speaker 1: it's all good. It's like you didn't have to but 778 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,320 Speaker 1: if does, you're right, does feel nice to say you're sorry. 779 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,160 Speaker 1: And I think communication is the most important thing, like 780 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 1: exactly with everybody, Like I just always like have communication, 781 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 1: Like whenever I get into a fight, like I communicate 782 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 1: when I'm like mad with my parents, are sad or 783 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,840 Speaker 1: talking to my parents, like I communicate everything because I 784 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: feel like it just makes me feel better about it, 785 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 1: and like talking to somebody or even just one of 786 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 1: my biggest things that I do, like coping with depression 787 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,840 Speaker 1: is I'll write myself a note or I'll like like 788 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 1: write everything down on a piece of paper and I'll 789 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 1: just rant like say whatever, and then I'll tear up 790 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,440 Speaker 1: that piece of paper or all like burning or something, 791 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 1: and it makes me just like even just communicating like that, 792 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: like just to yourself really helps. But I love the 793 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 1: reference to I love the reference. I didn't actually burn 794 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,759 Speaker 1: the book. It was yeah, they were like they just 795 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,480 Speaker 1: in the book. I love the fact that you don't 796 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,719 Speaker 1: even know that movie because I feel like, really, yeah, 797 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,600 Speaker 1: I like word really that one that came background. And 798 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: that's awesome because I was gonna about to feel a 799 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,280 Speaker 1: roll old uh yeah, I know there's something to um 800 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 1: anytime you have this. I learned this in therapy. So 801 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,799 Speaker 1: like one of my things, i'm not I'm not enough, 802 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 1: you always replace it with like when you're having the thought, 803 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: I know I am enough, and so like that's like 804 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 1: retraining your brain to remember because of course we all 805 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: have those shame messages like I'm not enough, I don't 806 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,000 Speaker 1: deserve this or I all those things, and it's like, no, 807 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 1: I am worth, you know, I am worthy, and so, uh, 808 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,760 Speaker 1: last year I started writing the affirmations on my mirror 809 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,239 Speaker 1: and that really helps the house. Yeah. Well yeah, my 810 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 1: girlfriend Kristen, she she did that because I was, you know, 811 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,280 Speaker 1: having a minute, and so she she wrote those around 812 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,239 Speaker 1: and it's good. It's nice to see it. And for 813 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 1: a long time I had him in a mirror and like, 814 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: I am enough, I'm worthy, I'm lovable, and I deserve. 815 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 1: I deserve like I deserve. I would always do Bible 816 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: verses on my mirror. I would like right like or 817 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,759 Speaker 1: I would just take like a X marker and I 818 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: would like write like something big on my mirror, so 819 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,799 Speaker 1: I looked at it every morning. Or I would take 820 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,640 Speaker 1: like sticky notes and put them on the mirror of 821 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 1: like Bible verses that are like your love, You're enough 822 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 1: for anything around those lines. You gotta feel it. Yeah, 823 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,359 Speaker 1: is there anything anything else you guys want to say 824 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,440 Speaker 1: to the to the wine Down listeners, be kind, be 825 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,359 Speaker 1: kind to people, you never know what people are going through, 826 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 1: love yourself, love others, stay cool. Well, thank you guys 827 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,720 Speaker 1: so much for coming on the show. I love you, guys, 828 00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:01,560 Speaker 1: and yeah, I just I'm it's been beautiful to watch 829 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 1: you guys grow into to just incredible loving I mean, 830 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,520 Speaker 1: your hearts, and I just if I could take the 831 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: weight of some of this world and the negativity off y'all, 832 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 1: you know I would, um, and yeah, I just don't 833 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 1: ever forget how loved you are. Thank you, thank you, 834 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 1: love you.