Speaker 1: Hey, grand your My name is Andrew. I'm from Ontario, Canada.
Speaker 1: I'm a senior in high school. I have a ton
Speaker 1: of questions I'd like to ask, but my number one
Speaker 1: is what is the number one life advice you'd give
Speaker 1: to someone who has not found themselves yet or is
Speaker 1: in the process of doing so. Ye ye, Andrew is
Speaker 1: asking the question, Berniclcoat. Here we go on the podcast,
Speaker 1: Here we Go. You have become a fan favorite, no doubt.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that. Thank you, guys, I really just
Speaker 1: don't understand why. I'll tell you why I thank you.
Speaker 1: Besides the fact that you're just an awesome dude. I
Speaker 1: think people latch on to when you're a guest on
Speaker 1: this show. I think people latch onto it because they
Speaker 1: could tell that me and you have a long history
Speaker 1: of friendship and trust. And after we roll that the
Speaker 1: audio and the camera here in this room, we end
Speaker 1: up forgetting that it's even on and we're just talking.
Speaker 1: I say this all the time, like we're just sitting
Speaker 1: around a campfire, cracked a few beers and there's a
Speaker 1: third person in a third chair, which is this email.
Speaker 1: I read the question and me and you talk through it.
Speaker 1: Like we're three friends, right, it's hard. Cool. That sounds awesome,
Speaker 1: but it's hard to do unless you actually have a
Speaker 1: twenty year friendship like me and you do. I think
Speaker 1: that's why they love you. Yeah, So, if anyone out
Speaker 1: there has a question, you email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. I collect these daily. I kind of put
Speaker 1: them into different categories depending on your question, but it
Speaker 1: could literally be about anything. Me and Bernie have answered
Speaker 1: just about every kind of question you could ask, whether
Speaker 1: it's lighthearted or career based or anything. Throw us something
Speaker 1: difficulty because these have been pretty easy so far. I'm
Speaker 1: just kidding, Okay, accept that that was the joke. They
Speaker 1: have not been easy. They're never easy. And as I
Speaker 1: always say, you know, whenever I get to come on
Speaker 1: here with Griz, like we're just giving our perspective and
Speaker 1: our experience on some of the things that we're hearing.
Speaker 1: But we always are going to push you to surround
Speaker 1: yourself with the community that you can process these things
Speaker 1: with and always go back to God's word because it'll
Speaker 1: never it'll never fail you will never lead you astray.
Speaker 1: So those two things, God's Word, community, and then you know,
Speaker 1: hopefully something we can say will kind of encourage you
Speaker 1: or inspire you to push into those things a little more. So.
Speaker 1: It's really heavy responsibility, but also so fulfilling for us
Speaker 1: knowing that right now, at the beginning of a new podcast,
Speaker 1: it's Monday morning, somebody's listening right now somewhere that either
Speaker 1: hasn't heard this or maybe they've heard a few times,
Speaker 1: and they have a question and right now, you know,
Speaker 1: they they listen to something through here and they pull
Speaker 1: out their phone and they start a new email Granger
Speaker 1: Smith podcast at gmail dot com. Hey Granger, I have
Speaker 1: a question, and there it is. And that's a massive
Speaker 1: responsibility that I don't look at as a burden. I
Speaker 1: look at it as a huge privilegeutely to be able
Speaker 1: to share in your question that you've been stewing over
Speaker 1: for maybe years, and to know that right now today
Speaker 1: in this room, as we hit record on this podcast,
Speaker 1: a new one is being born. That's so cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that one day we will have a live podcast
Speaker 1: boom with live audience boom and get to have them
Speaker 1: sit in the chair with us boom and you know,
Speaker 1: chop these things up. That would be really fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be so much easier too. Because we could
Speaker 1: ask second and third questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well let's
Speaker 1: start with an easy one. Here is this, says Hey Granger.
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin from far Northern California AKAA, state of Jefferson.
Speaker 1: It's funny that he has to say far northern because
Speaker 1: he's trying to separate him. So I get I get
Speaker 1: what you're doing there. We know who you are. I
Speaker 1: love California, man. I love you guys, especially the group
Speaker 1: of California that is the silent majority. I feel you,
Speaker 1: I hear you. I love you guys. He says, what
Speaker 1: is the ring you wear on your right hand during
Speaker 1: your podcast? Thank you? We' wearing right now? Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is an Aggie ring. This is Texas A and M,
Speaker 1: where I went to school. For some reason, it's an
Speaker 1: over one hundred year old tradition. We just like our
Speaker 1: class rings at Texas A and M. It kind of
Speaker 1: becomes a statement after you get out of school and
Speaker 1: you enter the real world. You could spot it far off.
Speaker 1: If you're an agg you could spot. Even if you're
Speaker 1: not anag you could go, oh, what class are you?
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like a cult, right, Yeah, don't
Speaker 1: you have to earn the ring, like not just graduate,
Speaker 1: but you have to like dunk the ring. Yeah, can
Speaker 1: we talk about it. You have to dunk it. So
Speaker 1: you earn your ring at tex A and M through
Speaker 1: I believe it's ninety hours of class credit and then
Speaker 1: you have to You don't have to, but most everyone
Speaker 1: does what they call a ring dunk, where you take
Speaker 1: your ring and you you go most likely to a
Speaker 1: place called the Dixie Chicken, which is a bar and
Speaker 1: college station, and you get a picture of beer, hopefully
Speaker 1: light beer, and you drop your ring in the bottom
Speaker 1: of the picture and you have to chug the picture
Speaker 1: until you get to the ring at the bottom and
Speaker 1: everyone times you. Who yeah, I don't remember my time.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. It was a long time ago. Is
Speaker 1: the point to just get to the bottom and then
Speaker 1: you got your ring and you earned it? Kind of okay,
Speaker 1: right word? But it's like, did they do they put
Speaker 1: like the best times up on the wall that yeah,
Speaker 1: they do that kind of stuff, and most of the
Speaker 1: time people throw up Okay the girls I did. I
Speaker 1: did not. I wasn't trying to break a world record though, either.
Speaker 1: Did you write your name and your time on the way,
Speaker 1: I didn't do that. You didn't, okay, but a lot
Speaker 1: of people do, a lot of people take it more
Speaker 1: serious than me. But it is a funny. A and
Speaker 1: M has their awesome traditions much like that. But you
Speaker 1: got you got you guys definitely. Uh, y'all get some
Speaker 1: traditions going and you don't let them go, you like
Speaker 1: hold fast to them. Do you have a piece of
Speaker 1: jewelry that you wear consistently over the years, just my
Speaker 1: wedding ring, your wedding ring? You wear a still a
Speaker 1: metal wedding ring too? I do. Yeah. Most people have
Speaker 1: gone to the rubber ones like I have. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: shocked that I haven't lost this one as much kind
Speaker 1: of adventuring as we've done. I'm not a big like
Speaker 1: I'm pretty active, and I know a lot of active
Speaker 1: folks do that, but I don't. I haven't found myself
Speaker 1: doing I don't like throw around a lot of big weights.
Speaker 1: So I know a lot of guys that do that
Speaker 1: get the ververs cause it starts to hurt. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I still have this one that my wife gave me
Speaker 1: sixteen years ago. What is that made out of? I
Speaker 1: think it's just sterling silver and says the one I
Speaker 1: adore on the inside. Still got the original. That's so cool.
Speaker 1: So my story is my original wedding ring we got.
Speaker 1: I cannot remember the metal, but it was cheaper than silver.
Speaker 1: It wasn't platinum, but it was another one of those
Speaker 1: kinds of high end that's cheaper than gold and silver.
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking it was so cool. And one
Speaker 1: day I was washing my hands and I took my
Speaker 1: hands out of the sink and it slipped off my
Speaker 1: finger and it hit the floor. It hit the tile,
Speaker 1: and it disintegrated. It just blew into a thousand pieces.
Speaker 1: And apparently that metal is like so hard and so
Speaker 1: indestructible except on tile. Whatever that means. Somebody listening knows
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I can't explain why, but something
Speaker 1: about when it makes contact with a tile floor, it
Speaker 1: will destroy it. So then I got a James Avery
Speaker 1: silver ring after that and lost it because I'm an idiot,
Speaker 1: and it happens, and then I luckily, and luckily, Amber
Speaker 1: has been so cool about the three rings that I've had,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't worry about it. So now I wear
Speaker 1: this rubber one, which I do not care. In fact,
Speaker 1: I had one a couple weeks ago that got a
Speaker 1: little in it and just put another one on. So
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean anything to me, but it still symbolizes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that I'm married to Amber. Have you guys considered doing
Speaker 1: the ring tattoos. We haven't considered it, but I wouldn't not. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Leslie and I just celebrated our sixteen year anniversary
Speaker 1: and I was like, we had some plans that day
Speaker 1: that didn't include it raining, and it rained all day
Speaker 1: so we kind of had some free time. I was like, babe,
Speaker 1: let's just go get tattoos if you know her, like
Speaker 1: she is not in so like just going to get
Speaker 1: tattoos on a whim. But she was like, yeah, we
Speaker 1: can get you know, the ring tattoos. And I was like,
Speaker 1: for real. She was like, I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: like kind of backed up on it, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know that's the same people to right, huh, Okay,
Speaker 1: it could be cool. Yeah, I know a lot of
Speaker 1: people do it and then they don't even wear a
Speaker 1: ring because it's just tattooed on them. Yeah, some people
Speaker 1: are weird. They fill claustrophobic with rings. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: get it. Yeah, Like I'm just I actually when my
Speaker 1: dad passed away. I kept his wedding ring and it
Speaker 1: fits me. So if I'm doing, like, if I'm dressing up,
Speaker 1: you wear that one. It's gold and I put that
Speaker 1: on nice, so I don't have to wear a rubber
Speaker 1: one with if the rare occasion is that I actually
Speaker 1: have to dress up, Yeah, that's cool. So here's here's
Speaker 1: another one. This is let me see how about this one.
Speaker 1: I'm still taking. I'm kind of ramping this up. Says Hey, Granger.
Speaker 1: My name is Grace, I'm fourteen. A couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago I had a birthday and you and never did
Speaker 1: a cameo video, So thank you so much for that awesome,
Speaker 1: great cool. I love cameo. It says. We watch this
Speaker 1: Smiths all the time in my house, my sister Emmy
Speaker 1: and my mom Crystal, and I love your music. Thank
Speaker 1: you guys, he said, your music. She said, your music
Speaker 1: has been one of the many things that's impact in
Speaker 1: my life. I was inspired to start learning to play
Speaker 1: the guitar and try to pursue a music career. What
Speaker 1: are some what's some advice you could give to someone
Speaker 1: very very early on in their music journey. And that's
Speaker 1: a great question. Me and you've had this kind of
Speaker 1: question before, And fourteen is actually the age that I
Speaker 1: started playing guitar, So Grace, you're right on que with me.
Speaker 1: So I would start with this, I would start getting better,
Speaker 1: better at that guitar, which only takes practice. Don't only
Speaker 1: read chord charts and music tabs. Don't just do that
Speaker 1: at some point early on and you're learning, break away
Speaker 1: from the tabs and just start what we'd say just jamming.
Speaker 1: Just start using three or four chords that you know
Speaker 1: from other songs and mix them up and put them
Speaker 1: in different orders and different rhythms, and strum around on
Speaker 1: and pick around on it. And when you start doing that,
Speaker 1: you're then not emulating your creating and I think you
Speaker 1: learn faster through the creative part of guitar. And then
Speaker 1: really say that you're a singer. But then you could
Speaker 1: start singing along with songs on the radio while you're playing.
Speaker 1: You're going to grow so fast and in your knowledge
Speaker 1: of music when you start this consistently every day. And
Speaker 1: then the third step I would say is start recording yourself.
Speaker 1: You don't have to get anything expensive. You could use
Speaker 1: your phone or any kind of digital recording, which almost
Speaker 1: Every cell phone has an app for that, and you
Speaker 1: just hit record, play a song, sing it, and then
Speaker 1: listen to it over and over. Find the spots that
Speaker 1: you like what you do, find the spots that you
Speaker 1: don't like what you do, and you'll grow quickly with that.
Speaker 1: What do you say, Burns, Yeah, No, I think that's good.
Speaker 1: You gotta hone your craft. You gotta like push into it. Practice.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be hard, but push into it get really good.
Speaker 1: I think also I started. I remember I started playing
Speaker 1: on I start playing on a classical guitar, but then
Speaker 1: I went to an acoustic guitar that was called an
Speaker 1: arbor Is by a company called Arbor, which I think
Speaker 1: is like maybe one of the cheapest guitars you can get,
Speaker 1: at least the one that I had was. Man, I
Speaker 1: remember in Nashville picking up your black Takamini. You remember
Speaker 1: that guitar, and you I actually sold it at one
Speaker 1: time when I needed money. I remember picking that guitar
Speaker 1: up in Nashville and playing it and being like, man, this,
Speaker 1: I'm so much better on this guitar than I have
Speaker 1: on mind. So I think there's a certain point where
Speaker 1: you don't want to go out and just blow a
Speaker 1: bunch of money on a guitar that's way above what
Speaker 1: you need. But make sure you got the right instrument
Speaker 1: that fits you. Because I was playing this guitar and
Speaker 1: like the guitar just wasn't what I needed. I picked
Speaker 1: up a guitar that was just a step better and
Speaker 1: realized like, wow, this actually sounds better, which made me
Speaker 1: want to play more. So I sold that other guitar
Speaker 1: and got a newer one. So I would just suggest
Speaker 1: that too. Yeah, when that time's right. It's kind of
Speaker 1: like voggers when you're getting into vlogging or making videos.
Speaker 1: At the right time, you got to get a better camera,
Speaker 1: but at the beginning it's good to have the cheap one.
Speaker 1: Same with guitars, so you'll know when the right time is. Yep,
Speaker 1: there's a question with the title called A Question for
Speaker 1: You and Bernie. Okay, good, good opportunity. Here says Hey Granger.
Speaker 1: My name is Lily. I'm from a small town just
Speaker 1: north of Tampa, Florida. I've written to the podcast before,
Speaker 1: but this question is different. I have a friend that's
Speaker 1: always starts an argument no matter what I say. She
Speaker 1: claims that I always put the blame on her, and
Speaker 1: I always it always gets heated about the little things,
Speaker 1: which is one hundred percent wrong. I never put the
Speaker 1: blame on her for anything. I have called her out
Speaker 1: on things and when she's made me mad or frustrated,
Speaker 1: but calling someone out for something that hurts you and
Speaker 1: putting the blame on someone for that are completely different things.
Speaker 1: I told her about that. I also don't get mad
Speaker 1: about the lit things. Every time I tell myself that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be involved as I was, I
Speaker 1: end up right back where I started. I feel like
Speaker 1: I should step back and just not engage. What do
Speaker 1: you do if you're in my situation? Well, that's a
Speaker 1: tough one that I asked for for sure, because yeah,
Speaker 1: relationships are so complicated. And again, without having you in
Speaker 1: the third chair and be able to ask you some
Speaker 1: follow up questions, how old is she? If she doesn't say, Lily,
Speaker 1: I guarantee you everyone listening is going through this at
Speaker 1: some level. And it's so much easier for me, Lily,
Speaker 1: to read your question and help you through it that
Speaker 1: it is for me when I'm in it giving myself
Speaker 1: advice that probably works for anything in life. It's easier
Speaker 1: for me to sit here, and I'll straight up tell
Speaker 1: you I see problem. I see some big problems in
Speaker 1: your email. Don't get mad at me and anyone that emails.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to tell you as if we're sitting
Speaker 1: around a campfire. I'm gonna tell you straight up, and
Speaker 1: there's some there's some big problems. I know you see
Speaker 1: them too. It says she claims. You're basically saying we
Speaker 1: have an argument, and typically she starts it, and she
Speaker 1: puts the blame on you. And then you turn around
Speaker 1: in this email and say, which is one hundred percent wrong?
Speaker 1: One hundred percent She's one hundred percent wrong, that's what
Speaker 1: you're saying. And that's just impossible. There's always a little
Speaker 1: truth to everything. So in order for this to get better,
Speaker 1: that has to change. Right off the bat, you say,
Speaker 1: I never put the blame on her for anything, and
Speaker 1: yet you're blaming her in this email to me and Bernie, Yeah, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: and using words like never and always yes. What are
Speaker 1: those called explore to explotives? In Star Wars they say
Speaker 1: a what do they say A Jedi never speaks in expletives? Right?
Speaker 1: Because there's always a chance of something else. Sorry, Star
Speaker 1: Wars reference. So from reading and you, I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you asked us, and I'm thankful that you're trusting us
Speaker 1: with something that's really bothering you. And it is clear
Speaker 1: that you're going to have to give some on this
Speaker 1: because you're holding your ground, you get your heels in
Speaker 1: the dirt. You're not giving any ground back to her,
Speaker 1: and that is clearly not working. You're saying, I feel
Speaker 1: like I should just step back and not engage, which
Speaker 1: I don't really think that that's necessary. You guys are
Speaker 1: you guys are good friends, so you do want to engage,
Speaker 1: But I think I think you gotta you got to
Speaker 1: step back and while you're engaging, step back during the
Speaker 1: engagement and just say what if you ever would say?
Speaker 1: And there's nothing specific in here, but she claims that
Speaker 1: I always put the blame on her. What if you
Speaker 1: just step back and say, I'm so sorry for putting
Speaker 1: the blame on you. What if you said that even
Speaker 1: if you don't necessarily believe it. What if that's what
Speaker 1: came out of your mouth instead of I don't ever
Speaker 1: put the blame on you know you're wrong, You're one
Speaker 1: hundred percent wrong. I don't put the blame on you
Speaker 1: for anything. You call me out on these things. And
Speaker 1: look what if you just said, I'm so sorry. I
Speaker 1: want to work on this with you, because you're you
Speaker 1: mean so much to me as a friend that I
Speaker 1: truly want to work on getting better at blaming me
Speaker 1: for things. Now, what happened. What's happening here in this
Speaker 1: conversation is you are hurting your pride because your pride
Speaker 1: says I'm right, I don't blame you for anything. And
Speaker 1: so to step back and say, I'm so sorry, I
Speaker 1: want to work on putting blame on you. You're crushing
Speaker 1: your own pride inside. But that's okay, it's not a
Speaker 1: bad thing. This is what saves relationships, is putting your
Speaker 1: own pride aside that happens with anything. That's what separates
Speaker 1: us from humans from dogs. Yep, I look at my dogs.
Speaker 1: I have three dogs. They're all three great, loving creatures.
Speaker 1: But when I feed them, Remy, the male, will steal
Speaker 1: the food of the females every time. He'll steal their
Speaker 1: food when they're not looking, or he'll push them out
Speaker 1: of the way and he'll eat the food. And sometimes
Speaker 1: I look at him and I'm like, Amber, look, this
Speaker 1: is what separates us as humans. It's like he's the
Speaker 1: sweetest dog, but he has nothing in his brain that
Speaker 1: says share that's their food, that's not yours. His nut.
Speaker 1: But we as humans, we do see that, and we
Speaker 1: sometimes have to crush our pride a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know something else I want to go with, but
Speaker 1: I want to let you speak, Yeah, Lily, to tell
Speaker 1: you the truth. I'm a bit kind of mentally lost
Speaker 1: in some of my own relationship situations very similar to this,
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing that there's people out there that have
Speaker 1: not just relatively similar, but very very specifically similar situations
Speaker 1: to what you're dealing with now. And man, relationships are
Speaker 1: just so so tough to navigate, especially when you get deep,
Speaker 1: when you intend to love someone in a deep way.
Speaker 1: And we also have to fight our own flesh that's
Speaker 1: broken and has been hurt and has a tendency not
Speaker 1: to trust, and all the things in First Corinthians thirteen
Speaker 1: that it talks about what love is. I challenge you
Speaker 1: to go back. I did this, so what I'm going
Speaker 1: through personally took me back through First Corinthians thirteen and
Speaker 1: just read the list of everything that love is. It's
Speaker 1: kind it's patient. It doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's
Speaker 1: not irritable or resentful, it does not insist in its
Speaker 1: own way. I mean, there's just so many of you
Speaker 1: get the love as patient. Love is kind. You've heard that.
Speaker 1: But when you get into the middle part of that passage, like,
Speaker 1: there's no way that you don't go back to your
Speaker 1: friend and say, so, I have not loved you the
Speaker 1: way that I should have, the way that I'm called
Speaker 1: to love you. I have not done that. That's where
Speaker 1: your email is showing and where I too, am guilty
Speaker 1: of showing air arrogance. But it says love is not
Speaker 1: arrogant like and so like we have to humble ourselves
Speaker 1: and just go there's no butt. Well, I'm sorry, but
Speaker 1: you start this or you it's like, no, hey, that's
Speaker 1: not your responsibility. What you're responsible for. What I'm responsible for.
Speaker 1: And the only thing I can control is the way
Speaker 1: that I place myself in a servant role of love
Speaker 1: towards the people that God has put in my path.
Speaker 1: And whether that's a shallow or deep relationship. Man, it
Speaker 1: is the hardest thing to navigate because, like Chris said,
Speaker 1: we are fighting these you know, constantly fighting these things
Speaker 1: within us. But I think that that is what I'm
Speaker 1: struggling with and what I'm going through and trying to navigate. Okay,
Speaker 1: at what point, and maybe Gris is a follow up
Speaker 1: question for you, you know on behalf of Lily is like,
Speaker 1: at what point? So I now gone through this? I
Speaker 1: have gone to this person humbly. They have said something
Speaker 1: I've done against them. I've I've like asked for forgiveness.
Speaker 1: I've said, man, I'm sorry, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try to serve you and love you. I'm sorry I
Speaker 1: haven't loved you the way I'm called to, and I
Speaker 1: do love you. I want you to trust me. And
Speaker 1: yet again they they come back that I have, you know,
Speaker 1: like just they're carrying these things and they come back
Speaker 1: with these accusations, And at what point is it like,
Speaker 1: this isn't really about me, this is about you. How
Speaker 1: do I love and serve that person? Right? So let's
Speaker 1: try to do an experiment we haven't done on the
Speaker 1: podcast before. Let's try to hack this out for Lily.
Speaker 1: You you're gonna You're gonna tell me Burns, You're gonna
Speaker 1: be the friend. And I'm gonna be Lily. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be what I think Lily should try. As an experiment,
Speaker 1: You're gonna tell me just say, man, are you losing weight?
Speaker 1: That shirt looks you look really you look like you're
Speaker 1: getting smaller, which would actually be because I try to
Speaker 1: work out and I try to eat right, So that
Speaker 1: would actually be something that would offend me to say that. Hey,
Speaker 1: like we just saw each other, Okay, here we go, Hey, Gris,
Speaker 1: are you losing weight? Man? Your shirt's a little thin,
Speaker 1: and like, no, I'm the same weight. What if I
Speaker 1: said this? You know, to be honest with you, man,
Speaker 1: and this is not your fault. This is totally not
Speaker 1: your fault. You're making an observation. But I've been struggling
Speaker 1: lately with with you know, working out and trying to
Speaker 1: eat right, and people have been saying that I look
Speaker 1: like I'm losing weight, and it actually bothers me. Once again,
Speaker 1: I'm not blaming you because you're just making an observation
Speaker 1: and you're You're just that kind of person that says
Speaker 1: what they think and I love that about you. Well, Grangeer,
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to be rude, like I feel like
Speaker 1: you're starting something here, and I really was just trying
Speaker 1: to say that you look No, absolutely not. That's actually
Speaker 1: what I love about you and the reason we're really
Speaker 1: good friends. I love the fact that you could just
Speaker 1: call it like you see it, and that's why you're
Speaker 1: that's why you have so many friends, that's why you
Speaker 1: do good in life. And this that's totally on me.
Speaker 1: I just I'm feeling a little insecure about looking small.
Speaker 1: So when you said that, it kind of hurt me.
Speaker 1: But I know that you didn't mean to you see,
Speaker 1: kind of like I'm putting it back behind me in
Speaker 1: the situation for Lily, and I'm not. I'm not saying, well,
Speaker 1: that's rude. That really hurts my feelings. Bernie. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: then of course you're going to get defensive. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: you just blame me for stuff to Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that was great. So he like not only did he
Speaker 1: like take the place to a humble and vulnerable state
Speaker 1: of something. Hey, this is this is how because most
Speaker 1: of the time, the way the way that we respond
Speaker 1: is really about us, it's not about the other person.
Speaker 1: So the way that you responded was in a humble,
Speaker 1: vulnerable way about something about you. The way that I
Speaker 1: then responded about, well, you're just getting defensive and you're
Speaker 1: coming at me. That actually says something about where my
Speaker 1: heart is in responding that way to somebody that's being
Speaker 1: vulnerable and being humble. But I think, Lily, I think
Speaker 1: you follow that lead and regardless of what this person
Speaker 1: your friend does, because you can't control that, even if
Speaker 1: they do it for like fifteen minutes, which can be
Speaker 1: trying for sure, keeping that kind of like, hey, this
Speaker 1: is not about you, it really isn't. I'm struggling with this,
Speaker 1: and you like affirmed me in that it's hard to
Speaker 1: like continue to be defensive when someone is being vulnerable
Speaker 1: and humble and affirming and complimenting you. So yeah, and
Speaker 1: see good, try that, Try that, liad. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: a break through right back. This podcast is brought to
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Speaker 1: They are awesome. I want to tell you before we
Speaker 1: get back into the podcast with Bernie, I messed up
Speaker 1: a little bit. I messed up, so long story short,
Speaker 1: the audio my computer I record audio. This microphone goes out,
Speaker 1: so you're just gonna hear the camera audio just for
Speaker 1: a short time. Okay, just one question and it's a
Speaker 1: good question, so I wanted to keep it on the podcast,
Speaker 1: So you're gonna want to listen to this one question.
Speaker 1: The audio is gonna sound a little bit different, and
Speaker 1: then after the question, it's going to go back to
Speaker 1: when I figured out I had a problem. We're gonna
Speaker 1: go back to normal audio. So hang with me. I
Speaker 1: promise it. It's not that bad. You'll make it. But
Speaker 1: it's worth me keeping the question. It's about dads. Back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. So coming out of the break, we
Speaker 1: started talking and I'm sorry, I have to go back
Speaker 1: to Lily one more time. You know, we just took
Speaker 1: a commercial break, which is a sponsor break. But if
Speaker 1: you guys remember what we were talking about Lily, what
Speaker 1: was the line? You just dropped it? Like gold, I said,
Speaker 1: the depth of our like in talking to this friend
Speaker 1: and thinking about this friend, that the depth of our
Speaker 1: relationship will be based on the amount, the level that
Speaker 1: you can forgive. Yeah, it will be based on forgiveness. Man.
Speaker 1: On the break, I nailed it. This is spontaneous and
Speaker 1: it was like boom, Grangers like why did we stop camera? Look,
Speaker 1: this is kind of how it works. But yeah, the
Speaker 1: depth of the relationship will be based on your ability
Speaker 1: to forgive boom. All right, close case. The next question
Speaker 1: subject titled Dad says, Hey Grangeer, my name is Darby.
Speaker 1: I'm from Little Rigby, Idaho. Shout out to Idaho I
Speaker 1: love the podcast and watching the Smiths. I was wondering
Speaker 1: what happened to your dad. I lost my dad February fifth,
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever
Speaker 1: dealt with. Beyond thankful for great for grief share, and
Speaker 1: so grateful for having God in my life to get
Speaker 1: me through all of this. Thank you, Darby. I found
Speaker 1: this question this morning, and I brought it up because
Speaker 1: I knew you were gonna be on the podcast Burns
Speaker 1: and so that makes three of us Derby that have
Speaker 1: gone through this, be Burns and you. I lost my
Speaker 1: dad March fifth, twenty fourteen, was a sudden heart attack.
Speaker 1: I haven't talked about it very often, if ever, on
Speaker 1: the Smiths or on a podcast or in anything, but
Speaker 1: we lost him suddenly. My mom was visiting Lincoln, my
Speaker 1: middle boy was just born. He was two months old,
Speaker 1: and my mom was visiting, staying a couple days and
Speaker 1: spending some time with little baby Lincoln, and my dad
Speaker 1: was home. He lived on a farm. He was sixty
Speaker 1: one years old. In fact, we buried him on his
Speaker 1: sixty first birthday, and he was doing some stuff in
Speaker 1: the yard. We don't really know because my mom drove
Speaker 1: home on the third day and about five thirty pm
Speaker 1: she pulled into the house. The lights were off, still
Speaker 1: dark in March. At five point thirty pm, she pulled
Speaker 1: in and all the lights were off in the house.
Speaker 1: She called his name a couple of times, and she
Speaker 1: just got a weird feeling, and she went back to
Speaker 1: their bedroom and he was sitting in the chair in
Speaker 1: the dark, and he was like he was just sleeping.
Speaker 1: He just kind of turned his head to his side
Speaker 1: and closed his eyes, and Mom said, all we know
Speaker 1: is Mom said, he had the top of his hand
Speaker 1: under his belt in his waist. There was a rag
Speaker 1: on the floor that looked like it was wet earlier,
Speaker 1: like maybe he was wiping his forehead. Maybe he was dizzy.
Speaker 1: And his phone was still plugged in in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: which means there was no time to say I should
Speaker 1: call a doctor. There was a weed eater and a
Speaker 1: chainsaw that was taken apart out in the yard that
Speaker 1: he had apparently been working on and fixing. It was springtime,
Speaker 1: you know, he was doing things like that. And then
Speaker 1: the computer we logged into the I'm going through all
Speaker 1: the things we know. We logged into the computer, and
Speaker 1: he had been on at eleven am was the last
Speaker 1: time he logged out of the computer, and the trash
Speaker 1: was It was a Wednesday. The trash was by the door,
Speaker 1: which he always took down at noon, all leading to
Speaker 1: the fact that this happened somewhere between eleven am and noon.
Speaker 1: He must have been working on a weed eater, felt lightheaded,
Speaker 1: maybe dizzy, said I should go sit down, but still
Speaker 1: nothing alarming him to grab a punk, to grab a phone,
Speaker 1: sat down, and he had a massive heart attack and
Speaker 1: it killed him right there. M So that was you know,
Speaker 1: my mom called me and said the words that I'll
Speaker 1: never ever forget. She said, granger. I said, yeah. She said,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? I said, just eating pizza with
Speaker 1: the kids, And she said, your dad had a heart
Speaker 1: attack and he died. And it was like the you know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't even process the heart attack part, much less
Speaker 1: the second part of the sentence. And I just couldn't.
Speaker 1: I was trying to process that so fast. And but yeah,
Speaker 1: to speak to you, Darby, I agree. He said, it's
Speaker 1: the hardest, by far, the hardest thing I've ever dealt with.
Speaker 1: I get it, man, I get it that these things
Speaker 1: typically losing a dad happens to everybody most of the time.
Speaker 1: That's something that's relative to all humans. We lose a dad,
Speaker 1: but it still doesn't make it doesn't make it easier
Speaker 1: no matter I've talked to people that have lost their
Speaker 1: dad due to cancer and it's been years of regression
Speaker 1: and slow death, and then I've talked to people like
Speaker 1: me who lost him instantly, and there doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: be a difference in the grief really at all. It's
Speaker 1: just hard no matter what. And Bernie, you got a
Speaker 1: story too. Yeah, I think that I would fall into
Speaker 1: that category, opposite of Granger. I lost my dad last
Speaker 1: December twenty twenty, a few days before Christmas. So my
Speaker 1: dad had had a lot of medical issues for a
Speaker 1: long time. In twenty seventeen, I think twenty sixteen, he
Speaker 1: had a heart attack that should have killed him. And
Speaker 1: every doctor that, because he lives in a small town
Speaker 1: in East Texas, hospital is not, you know, set up
Speaker 1: to handle what he was experiencing. And somehow they had
Speaker 1: the wherewithal to get on the hospital or get on
Speaker 1: the phone to the hospital in Tyler, and the doctor
Speaker 1: happened to be there and get on the phone and
Speaker 1: walk them through, Hey, this is exactly what you need
Speaker 1: to do, and got him life lighted and ended up
Speaker 1: saving his life. From there, it was the next three
Speaker 1: years were three three and a half years were very
Speaker 1: much a lot of hospital visits, a lot of medical issues.
Speaker 1: There was times where, you know, my siblings, we would
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, we need to go because this is it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then I mean, this guy would just like keep
Speaker 1: pulling through like it was like the dot would call
Speaker 1: us and be like, yeah, you know his nars, you
Speaker 1: probably need to come. It's like he would just find
Speaker 1: a way just keep living. Yeah, it's like, my goodness,
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what his And I'm not going
Speaker 1: to go into a long tangent here, but I know
Speaker 1: that there's people out there that have a lot of
Speaker 1: different kinds of relationships with their dads. You know, Granger
Speaker 1: and his dad and me and my dad. The way
Speaker 1: that you lost him, y'all's relationship up until that point.
Speaker 1: But my relationship with my dad was, you know, he
Speaker 1: left our family, My parents were divorced. He left, and
Speaker 1: then he came back when I was very young, and
Speaker 1: then he came back and promised our family he would
Speaker 1: never leave again. And then he left again. And I
Speaker 1: can't put that all on him. I know that marriage
Speaker 1: is tough and you know, raising kids and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: but he left and there was definitely you know, I
Speaker 1: was a mama's boy, and I was very loyal to
Speaker 1: my mom, and there was a lot of distance between
Speaker 1: me and my dad. After my mom passed the way
Speaker 1: in two thousand and four, I think that that did
Speaker 1: set up some kind of avenue to restore this relationship
Speaker 1: with my dad. And I'll tell you what, it took
Speaker 1: years and years and years of my dad fighting for
Speaker 1: me and just continuing to come back and tell me
Speaker 1: I love you, I'm proud of you. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: until after that heart attack that he just had a
Speaker 1: new life. He literally lived every day because for him,
Speaker 1: it was like, hey, I the doctor told me, I'm
Speaker 1: on borrowed time. Yeah, And he really lived every day,
Speaker 1: you know, the last years of his life and it
Speaker 1: and there finally dawned on me. At one point I
Speaker 1: called him and they had or no. He called me
Speaker 1: and said, hey, the doctor said, my heart disease, heart
Speaker 1: failure has gone to stage. So they're giving me, you know,
Speaker 1: a few weeks maybe a couple months at the most,
Speaker 1: and I just had to tell him in that moment,
Speaker 1: like man, Dad. He was like, I'm so proud of
Speaker 1: you and everything, and I was like, hold up, I'm
Speaker 1: proud of you. I'm proud of you for just continuing
Speaker 1: to love me and pursue me. And our relationship here
Speaker 1: is not like the American dream Father's Son, but it's
Speaker 1: a story of redemption and reconciliation and I love our story.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change it for anything. And he had another
Speaker 1: three weeks to a month that he pushed to another
Speaker 1: nine months. Somehow I know that he got to heaven
Speaker 1: and I was like, we're so glad you're here. We
Speaker 1: expected you a while ago, but we're glad you're here now.
Speaker 1: But the backside of that, I think because of that,
Speaker 1: like Chris said, the grief doesn't change. The grief is
Speaker 1: still there. We still have to work through it. But
Speaker 1: I think it does look different the way that life
Speaker 1: that you experienced death, would you agree the way that
Speaker 1: we experience it, and that and the relationship that was
Speaker 1: there and the dynamics of it will play a part
Speaker 1: and how you grieve and how you work through whatever
Speaker 1: events led up to that I want to reword one
Speaker 1: thing you said, and I know you agree because we
Speaker 1: have the same beliefs. But the words from God weren't.
Speaker 1: We didn't expect you. The words were. We gave you
Speaker 1: a little extra time and you did exactly what you
Speaker 1: needed to do with you made the best. Well done,
Speaker 1: my good and faithfuls servant, That's what he said. Oh,
Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, God extended that time on purpose. God is
Speaker 1: in control of our time. Yeah, absolutely not not doctors
Speaker 1: or or are wherewithal the pool through. Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: given that time for a reason. He was, and it
Speaker 1: was for you to tell the story of redemption and restoration,
Speaker 1: partly to other people that could hear, like Darby and Dude,
Speaker 1: you're spot on, and Darby you are too. Man, it's hard.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you're in Greef share like you said,
Speaker 1: and that you say, I'm beyond grateful for having God
Speaker 1: in my life to get through all this. That's exactly right.
Speaker 1: You are grateful and you praise We praise God through
Speaker 1: our suffering. And it's it's a misunderstanding of spiritual people
Speaker 1: to say that God is God heals all, and he
Speaker 1: heals all physical ailments. He's like a Genie canny. Yes,
Speaker 1: he absolutely can, but that's not what he does. Most
Speaker 1: of the time, he doesn't because we need to go
Speaker 1: through suffering and praise him so that we could find
Speaker 1: the difference between light and dark. If all we had
Speaker 1: was light without any dark, there wouldn't be a dressed.
Speaker 1: If all we had was good and blissfulness, that's right,
Speaker 1: we would never appreciate the victory, the true victory in football,
Speaker 1: if you won every game without a loss, then the
Speaker 1: championship wouldn't mean as much as if you had gone
Speaker 1: through a year of losing and struggling and rebuilding and relearning,
Speaker 1: and then you built back up through the suffering, through
Speaker 1: the tribulation, and you made it and you win the
Speaker 1: championship and you celebrate because you have overcome through adversity,
Speaker 1: and that is the meaning of life. Now, I think
Speaker 1: you're right, man. The worst basis that evangelism can take
Speaker 1: is that God is like a pill. Hey, just take
Speaker 1: this and kill everything, cure everything, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people, you know, just speak it and it's going
Speaker 1: to happen. I understand the power of our words, and
Speaker 1: I understand where they're going with that intention. But we
Speaker 1: know from life experience that that and we know from
Speaker 1: God's who are that is not true. It's not how
Speaker 1: he works and what you're going to end up doing.
Speaker 1: If you're spinning that kind of gospel, you're going to
Speaker 1: lead people to just feeling broken, trust in, mad, upset, disappointed,
Speaker 1: and frustrated, more with God, and more in disbelief than
Speaker 1: they were before you told him about it. So how
Speaker 1: many times have we heard people say, I'm just really
Speaker 1: mad at God right now because I don't understand if
Speaker 1: there's a God out there. I don't understand a God
Speaker 1: that would allow little children to suffer and get cancer.
Speaker 1: And I don't understand a God that would allow wars
Speaker 1: to happen. And you're missing the point of God is
Speaker 1: do you really want a perfect, little, blissful life. Would
Speaker 1: you ever know the brilliant beauty of light if you've
Speaker 1: never seen dark? No? The answer is no. And we
Speaker 1: have these tiny little that are trying to understand, like
Speaker 1: these universal mysteries come on guys like we are not
Speaker 1: the most intelligent generation that's ever lived, don't we don't
Speaker 1: understand nearly as much as we think we do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hate to make a spiritual reference to the Matrix.
Speaker 1: But dude, the movie The Matrix hits its spot on
Speaker 1: when the machine world is telling the humans that we
Speaker 1: tried to create which the matrix is the software program
Speaker 1: that allows humans to live. So they're talking about we
Speaker 1: tried this world, this human world, to try to create
Speaker 1: it on the software program, many many times, giving them
Speaker 1: the perfect life, until we realize the only way humans
Speaker 1: could live is by entering evil and suffering into their lives,
Speaker 1: because unless they can overcome it and make it through it,
Speaker 1: they can't survive. They can't survive in perfect unity, not
Speaker 1: in this world, not on Earth. We have to have
Speaker 1: of we have to have trials that we fight through
Speaker 1: and we make it through the other side and we
Speaker 1: feel confident and encouraged and hopeful because of that. So, Darby,
Speaker 1: you're you're on the path. I'd like to say this, Derby,
Speaker 1: if you say this is the hardest thing you've ever
Speaker 1: dealt with losing your dad, that means you got to
Speaker 1: have pretty you had a pretty good dead. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you said that, you wouldn't have said that, no, great point,
Speaker 1: great point, And and the weight that you're carrying right
Speaker 1: now is is a testament to that. Like I think
Speaker 1: you've told me that before. Like the weight of the
Speaker 1: loss is reflected by the depth of the love that
Speaker 1: you have for the amount the amount of grief we have,
Speaker 1: and a loss is paid for by the love. It's equal.
Speaker 1: However much love you have for someone, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: a proportionate amount of grief when you lose them. So
Speaker 1: the more if you have, that means the more love
Speaker 1: you have, and you don't want to get rid of
Speaker 1: the love. So of course we hate grief, we hate
Speaker 1: growing through loss. But the more we have, the more
Speaker 1: we realize the more love that we shared. And that's
Speaker 1: the most important thing. Because you wouldn't want to sit
Speaker 1: here and go, I lost my dad, Good riddance, Dad
Speaker 1: was terrible. What good does that do for you? And
Speaker 1: what impact does that have in your life? Forever? Darby,
Speaker 1: you will be able to live and move forward and go,
Speaker 1: I have one of the good ones. And you might
Speaker 1: look around and you might see bad dads out there
Speaker 1: and go, how did this old man survive? And my
Speaker 1: dad didn't? You know? You might think that, but the
Speaker 1: reality is you'll have that memory and that within you
Speaker 1: of your dad forever. Good question. Many burds I I'm
Speaker 1: gonna leave this one to you. Okay, we got homeboys
Speaker 1: in Christ. I need some advice that rhymes we have
Speaker 1: a question for the podcast when you have Hay Granger.
Speaker 1: I need some advice, promotion, alcoholic veteran needs help. Another
Speaker 1: please read in all caps Faith and Friends slash fan reactions,
Speaker 1: and playing Overseas. I kind of want to go with
Speaker 1: playing Overseas because I'm hoping that it's like an invitation
Speaker 1: for me and you to go do the podcast overseas,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that's what they're going for. So
Speaker 1: and then the first one is just intriguing because it's
Speaker 1: like everything in me doesn't want to pick that one,
Speaker 1: but I kind of have to go with it. It's
Speaker 1: well done on I don't know if you're trying to
Speaker 1: be super cheesy so it would get attention, but it worked.
Speaker 1: Oh boys and christ I need some advice. After the
Speaker 1: question about dads, which is a great question, we realized
Speaker 1: that the EEE podcast, which is held in the same room,
Speaker 1: had used a plugged in an outlet that was plugged
Speaker 1: into my computer. It was unplugged. I didn't know about it,
Speaker 1: so the computer died during the dad segment. So what
Speaker 1: you what you hear now is a slight audio change.
Speaker 1: So we're back to these microphones again. The microphones. We're
Speaker 1: learning lessons again and again. Guys. Okay, the lesson is
Speaker 1: to plug in. The lesson is blame others. Right, did
Speaker 1: we talk about this on this podcast something like that?
Speaker 1: Was it, Lily? I think it was. Yeah, the best
Speaker 1: that you can. That's right. You've got to be really
Speaker 1: good about it for it to go over. Blame the
Speaker 1: ye Yeek podcast guys for unplugging these microphones and not
Speaker 1: myself and not knowing that the clearly on the laptop
Speaker 1: there is not a little charge signal in the top
Speaker 1: right corner. That's not my fault. So so we're back
Speaker 1: full circle. But the good news is I had just
Speaker 1: started reading this next question when we realized that the
Speaker 1: power died on the mics. I realized I had just
Speaker 1: started reading. In fact, I'm gonna like triple check this camera. Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1: The good news is I just started reading the next
Speaker 1: question when the when the microphones died? And it's a
Speaker 1: really good question. So the good news is I get
Speaker 1: to read it again and we hadn't started answering it yet.
Speaker 1: That's right. That's right. The question titled homeboys in Christ
Speaker 1: I need some advice, which I don't know if she
Speaker 1: meant to rhyme that. Maybe she didn't even mean to
Speaker 1: rhyme that homeboys in Christ I need some advice, It says,
Speaker 1: Hey Granger and probably Bernie. I love the podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: a huge Yeee fan, music fan, all things Smith family,
Speaker 1: except for the guys that do the yee podcast. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they unplug cables. That's exactly right. Hey, my name is Megan.
Speaker 1: I'm from Washington State, just north of Seattle, and I
Speaker 1: just turned twenty a few days ago. I'm graduating college
Speaker 1: this summer with my bachelor's degree in emergency management and
Speaker 1: homeland security. And for the last few years it's been
Speaker 1: my dream to be a police officer. The state of
Speaker 1: the current world and negative views on law enforcement haven't
Speaker 1: even swayed the career path I'm taking. However, I've been
Speaker 1: told by many close family and friends Christ followers alike
Speaker 1: who work in the field that I should not pursue
Speaker 1: this career. I have prayed about this decision, that God
Speaker 1: would open and close doors accordingly. As things began to
Speaker 1: get real and I have to begin public safety testing
Speaker 1: in October, it has been difficult to discern God's voice
Speaker 1: amongst my own selfish desires in the advice of fellow
Speaker 1: Christians who have lived the reality of the job, do
Speaker 1: you have any advice on how to know if I'm
Speaker 1: making a poor choice by pursuing this career even though
Speaker 1: I'm being advised against it by the people I know
Speaker 1: and trust. Note, I'm aware that law enforcement is a
Speaker 1: really gnarly career path, and I understand it has me
Speaker 1: sacrifices it must be made. Thanks Megan. Awesome, awesome question.
Speaker 1: Awesome question. We love this question. We could do an
Speaker 1: entire podcast on this one topic subject. Love this question.
Speaker 1: It's great. Your heart, Megan, is in the right place.
Speaker 1: What's interesting is we started this whole podcast and you
Speaker 1: started it by saying, seek wise counsel, listen to God's word, right,
Speaker 1: follow God's word seq And so we have a conflicting
Speaker 1: interest in this email. Yep. Kind of yeah, because she's
Speaker 1: hearing her wise counsel speak against this. Yep. I would.
Speaker 1: So first, you know, going back, you know, because I
Speaker 1: think they're in decision making, there's usually like three things
Speaker 1: I like to kind of process them through. First is
Speaker 1: what does God's word say? Is there anything in God's
Speaker 1: word that is directly saying like, hey, you should not
Speaker 1: do this? You know? Next is what do God's people say?
Speaker 1: And that's your wise counsel, Like, is there any more experienced,
Speaker 1: you know, respected people in my life that I have
Speaker 1: reason for me not to do this that they advise?
Speaker 1: So I think that's kind of where you're at right here.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're getting some conflict. The last
Speaker 1: thing if you made it through those, the last thing
Speaker 1: is that I usually process it through, is what do
Speaker 1: you want to do? I think there's tons of freedom
Speaker 1: in our lives that God gives us. And if God's
Speaker 1: word doesn't have anything affirms it, if the people around
Speaker 1: you affirm it, or you process that with them, and
Speaker 1: then it's just what do you want to do? Make
Speaker 1: a decision and go for what I was going to
Speaker 1: say earlier. I'm not the best on Bible references locations,
Speaker 1: so somebody can comment where this is for my own bete.
Speaker 1: But in James where it talks about don't go to
Speaker 1: a foreign place and work and say I'm gonna work
Speaker 1: here a year and then I'm gonna come back. But
Speaker 1: instead so if God wills it, then you go here
Speaker 1: and you work for a year and go about business
Speaker 1: and there's a passage like that. So I think that
Speaker 1: that's the first thing, is like, you really need to
Speaker 1: make sure that you're spending time in the Word and
Speaker 1: just in solitude and praying God. I want to be
Speaker 1: obedient to you. I know that you have the best
Speaker 1: for my life, and so I'm submitting my own will
Speaker 1: to you and saying like, could you guide me in
Speaker 1: the way I need to go? Because if that is
Speaker 1: into law enforcement, then I think you don't just dismiss
Speaker 1: the conversations you're having with people that you trust that
Speaker 1: are saying you shouldn't do it. But I think you
Speaker 1: enter into those conversations with the question of, well, why
Speaker 1: why is this something that you're encouraging me not to do?
Speaker 1: Is it because of their own fear? Because that, if
Speaker 1: you go back to God's word again, is not founded.
Speaker 1: That's not wise counsel. Even with the people you're seeking
Speaker 1: the wise counsel comes from. Is it based in God's word?
Speaker 1: They're supposed to be pointing you back to that. But
Speaker 1: if they're in their own insecurity and their own fear,
Speaker 1: what you want to do may sound crazy, and they're
Speaker 1: going to try to convince you not to do it.
Speaker 1: But if you feel like God's word is affirming that,
Speaker 1: and you feel like you do have people, once you've
Speaker 1: been able to communicate what God is doing leading you to,
Speaker 1: then I don't care what this world looks like. Do
Speaker 1: not stop so good man. There are so many instances.
Speaker 1: And the reason Megan I got to say, and for
Speaker 1: everyone else's and the reason we keep going God's word,
Speaker 1: God Word, God Word, is because that's what that's part
Speaker 1: of what you're asking, and that's how burning are just
Speaker 1: going to base our foundational answers on. There's so many
Speaker 1: stories in the Bible when someone was called to do
Speaker 1: something and the world went against them and said you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do this.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say something here, and Megan, I love you,
Speaker 1: I think your heart is in the right place, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to say something that might sound a little insulting.
Speaker 1: I think I think you're you are making God smaller
Speaker 1: than he is. I think, and I don't mean that
Speaker 1: in insulting to you. I think your worldview of this
Speaker 1: whole situation is making a little, tiny God, a little
Speaker 1: insecure God that's not strong enough to make his will
Speaker 1: clear enough for you. So you want to go to
Speaker 1: a lot of other people. You want to write into
Speaker 1: this podcast, which I'm glad you did, because this is
Speaker 1: what I'm going to tell you. Don't put God in
Speaker 1: a box, don't make him smaller. He is huge. He
Speaker 1: can move mountains, he could part seize. He is in
Speaker 1: control of everything. He is in control of every detail
Speaker 1: of your life. He knows every hair on your head.
Speaker 1: He numbers the hairs on your head. Is what he
Speaker 1: has said. Therefore, if you are praying diligently like you are,
Speaker 1: for Him to open and close doors accordingly, then don't
Speaker 1: keep doubting the path you're on. If the doors are
Speaker 1: open and you're walking through them, clearly, you are walking
Speaker 1: through the doors that He has opened, and you are
Speaker 1: doubting these doors. It's normal to doubt. I doubt. Bernie
Speaker 1: doubts every character in the Bible, Noah, Moses, everyone has doubted.
Speaker 1: Go read Exodus and talk about and read how God
Speaker 1: was telling Moses to go into Egypt and command to
Speaker 1: Pharaoh to let his people go, and Moses Goesugh me
Speaker 1: I do. I don't. I can't do that. Not a
Speaker 1: good speaker, I can't talk in God's said who made
Speaker 1: your mouth? Who made your mouth? And he said, you
Speaker 1: just send somebody else. I'm just not good at this stuff.
Speaker 1: That's normal for you to think that, Megan. But it
Speaker 1: sounds like God is opening the doors to law enforcement
Speaker 1: and you're walking through them and questioning all the way
Speaker 1: through that this is maybe not God's will when he's
Speaker 1: clearly oh, because hey, this is what I mean by
Speaker 1: don't make him a small God. When you ask him
Speaker 1: to close the door, He's going to close the door.
Speaker 1: If you're trusting him, he will close the door. So
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about he's going to close it because
Speaker 1: a friend's going to call and go, Heck, Megan, have
Speaker 1: a bad feeling about this. I'm kind of scared of it.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should do it. And I know
Speaker 1: a lot about law enforcement. That's not a closed door.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what Bernie is saying. You say, well, let
Speaker 1: me talk to you a little bit. What you're reasoning
Speaker 1: a closed door is you go in and you get
Speaker 1: a test result back from your physical going into the
Speaker 1: police department and they say, hey, you have a blood
Speaker 1: clot and we can't accept you into the force because
Speaker 1: you're that's close, you know. But you walk this path, Megan,
Speaker 1: with a vengeance, knowing that you are on God's side,
Speaker 1: because you are a child of God and you have
Speaker 1: prayed to him, and you are walking according to his will,
Speaker 1: because because Paul says and his epistle in his letter,
Speaker 1: he says that we need to transform our minds. Therefore,
Speaker 1: to discern the will of God through our minds, not
Speaker 1: through our hearts or our feelings or everyone around us,
Speaker 1: or the what the world's telling our minds. And you
Speaker 1: are looking clearly at this job as a police officer.
Speaker 1: You even said in your note, I'm aware using your
Speaker 1: mind the law enforcement is a really gnarly career path.
Speaker 1: But I understand that's a mind thing. That's not a
Speaker 1: heart thing. It's not a feeling thing. I understand how
Speaker 1: many sacrifices must be made. You have decided with your mind,
Speaker 1: you have transformed your mind and according to the will
Speaker 1: of God. You are discerning now the path that you're on,
Speaker 1: and you need to walk through these doors that are open,
Speaker 1: and if they close, that's a different story. But you're
Speaker 1: gonna know don't make him small, don't make him don't
Speaker 1: don't think that he's just giving you little nudges in
Speaker 1: the sky. He is. He is controlling your steps here.
Speaker 1: So go for it, Megan. I think it is. It
Speaker 1: is brave of you. I think it is is valiant
Speaker 1: of you. I think you are. You're stepping into law
Speaker 1: enforcement in a time when everyone is running from it.
Speaker 1: In Washington State, everyone is running from law enforcement. They're
Speaker 1: they're either going to a different state or a different
Speaker 1: easier career path, or they're switching jobs. And you're going
Speaker 1: into the fire in a time when everyone's going out
Speaker 1: of it. And I love you for that. I admire
Speaker 1: you for that, and don't let people discourage you. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: that's great, preach son. The verse that he's referencing is
Speaker 1: Romans twelfth two. So go back and read that. The
Speaker 1: first part of that says, do not conform any longer
Speaker 1: to the pattern of this world. Instead, be transformed by
Speaker 1: a renewal of your mind. Okay, so remember that first part,
Speaker 1: do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world.
Speaker 1: So this world, the pattern is, this is hard, this
Speaker 1: is unsafe, this is politically this way or that way,
Speaker 1: so I should probably not do it. That's what the
Speaker 1: world is saying. And this is not just about law enforcement.
Speaker 1: This is about these days a lot of different things.
Speaker 1: So you can either choose to she said current state
Speaker 1: of the world, even reference world current state of the world.
Speaker 1: So what the world is kind of like preaching to
Speaker 1: us is, hey, don't put yourself in a harm's way
Speaker 1: because of a calling that God has placed on you.
Speaker 1: And again this I know you guys listening out there
Speaker 1: may be involved in a different career path where your integrity,
Speaker 1: your reputation, your safety, your life is being put and
Speaker 1: in harm's way. But God says, hey, don't conform to
Speaker 1: what the world is doing and what they're telling you.
Speaker 1: Be transformed by a renewal of your mind. And I
Speaker 1: think what that is going to tell us is that no,
Speaker 1: just like throughout the Bible, God has led me into
Speaker 1: this battle. He's going to give me the armor and
Speaker 1: the tools that I need when I need them. I'm
Speaker 1: walking with the King of victory. I have to hold
Speaker 1: on to that. That's my hope. My dad was in
Speaker 1: law enforcement for thirty five years, so this is definitely
Speaker 1: something that's close to me and to see you know,
Speaker 1: guys like my dad that de escalated. We're humble, We're
Speaker 1: there to serve and protect, We're loving. And I know
Speaker 1: there's a picture that the enemy and that the world
Speaker 1: wants to paint of the majority of law enforcement so
Speaker 1: that these polar opposites can keep fighting. But it's like, look,
Speaker 1: the majority of us are in the middle. We're very
Speaker 1: very close on a lot of these issues. But these
Speaker 1: people on other sides are much louder voices. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you, don't listen to the voices. Don't listen
Speaker 1: to the worldly voices. Listen to the voice of God.
Speaker 1: Seek wise counsel. That's right, totally different. Sit with it,
Speaker 1: wrestle with it, talk with them. And this is not
Speaker 1: just for Megan, This is for me Griz. This is
Speaker 1: what we guys, This is life. This is what we
Speaker 1: do when these things come up. And we do live
Speaker 1: in a world where we can't pretend that these issues
Speaker 1: and that our world is not right in front of
Speaker 1: our face now and that it's not much louder than
Speaker 1: it used to be. It is in our ear louder
Speaker 1: than ever. But I think that we just have to
Speaker 1: quiet those voices. We have to listen to the voice
Speaker 1: of God, and that can be through His word, that
Speaker 1: can be through the community of the church. We have
Speaker 1: to listen to that voice and be still with it,
Speaker 1: and then just go boldly and courageously into what you're
Speaker 1: supposed to do. You think God doesn't want his warriors
Speaker 1: in Seattle, Washington in law enforcement. Of course he does.
Speaker 1: They have to be. He is calling you to this,
Speaker 1: I believe. How do I know because you have You're
Speaker 1: graduating with a bachelor's degree in emergency management homeland security.
Speaker 1: You've been in this for a long time. You said,
Speaker 1: it has been my dream. You put all caps dream,
Speaker 1: all caps to be a police officer, and now the
Speaker 1: world is telling you pumped the brakes. Well, here's the key,
Speaker 1: here's the kicker to all this. You said, I have
Speaker 1: prayed about this decision. Done, done, put a period on that.
Speaker 1: You are walking with the Lord here, and He is
Speaker 1: preparing your steps for you. He has created this passion.
Speaker 1: He created where do you think that dream came from?
Speaker 1: He lit that fire in you. So your prayer is this,
Speaker 1: It's God, here we go. It's getting real. I'm walking
Speaker 1: down this path that you have you have laid out
Speaker 1: for me. Now, I have a lot of people telling
Speaker 1: me that I shouldn't do this. I have a lot
Speaker 1: of people that are scared for me, scared for my life,
Speaker 1: scared for the future of law enforcement in Seattle, Washington.
Speaker 1: But I'm walking this because you have The path is
Speaker 1: still open. So here we go, step by step. I
Speaker 1: have testing coming up in October, So here we go. God,
Speaker 1: if this is not right for me, close the store.
Speaker 1: If it's open, I'm walking into testing. I'm going into testing,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do this and until you stop me,
Speaker 1: I'm going this direction that's open and closed door. Yep.
Speaker 1: And that's a closed story for you. Thank you, Megan
Speaker 1: for your service. I love this. Yeah, it's great. Because
Speaker 1: of our computer failure, it has given us an opportunity
Speaker 1: for one more question. Oh okay, So for anyone who
Speaker 1: you dug through the bad audio of the dad question,
Speaker 1: we're going a little bit. We're going to give a
Speaker 1: little bit longer on this podcast now and go to
Speaker 1: one more so, Burns, We've got question for the podcast.
Speaker 1: I need some advice promotion, alcoholic veteran needs help. Question.
Speaker 1: Please read all caps, Faith and Friends fan reactions and
Speaker 1: playing overseas Man. We need to get a wheel where
Speaker 1: we just like spit and it's like, okay, this is
Speaker 1: the one we're doing. Okay. What I don't want this
Speaker 1: to become is I don't want people to think they
Speaker 1: got to make the most creative subject ever. That's why
Speaker 1: I kind of don't like, well, let's go with podcast question.
Speaker 1: Boom you know, there you go. That's how you counteract that, right, yep, Okay,
Speaker 1: It says, hey, grand your my name is Andrew. I'm
Speaker 1: from Ontario, Canada. I'm a senior in high school. I
Speaker 1: have a ton of questions I'd like to ask, but
Speaker 1: my number one is what is the number one life
Speaker 1: advice you'd give to someone someone who has not found
Speaker 1: themselves yet or is in the process of doing so.
Speaker 1: Ye ye, Andrew is asking the question. He's asking the questions.
Speaker 1: Read it one more time. This says, my number one
Speaker 1: question is what is the life advice you'd give to
Speaker 1: someone who hasn't found themselves yet? Welcome? No, that's so good.
Speaker 1: It's a journey we're all on and welcome. Don't give up.
Speaker 1: That's the end of the Just kidding, dude, that's good.
Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah, what I see here is senior in
Speaker 1: high school, Bro, I didn't know myself. I did, I
Speaker 1: just didn't. Was I searching, of course I was. You
Speaker 1: better believe I was. I was searching. I was asking questions.
Speaker 1: I was in the process of finding myself. But it
Speaker 1: is possible to find yourself who you are in high school.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't one of them. That wasn't either. I
Speaker 1: don't think a lot of people are capable of being eighteen, nineteen,
Speaker 1: seventeen years old whatever you are and going you know what.
Speaker 1: I know exactly who I am, and I'm a rocket.
Speaker 1: I found myself. Yeah, it takes life experience. So that's
Speaker 1: the advice. Get out and experience life. Things that you
Speaker 1: just are uncomfortable with, things you don't understand. Go be curious,
Speaker 1: Go adventure, go journey, go like because that's going to
Speaker 1: help you. When you get outside of yourself and what
Speaker 1: you know, you're gonna be able to look back at
Speaker 1: it and be like, oh, that's that. Oh I like that,
Speaker 1: that's that's me, and that and that's me too. You're
Speaker 1: gonna you're gonna start to build that in. Traveling helps
Speaker 1: traveling Yet, I know I know that, especially these days,
Speaker 1: traveling is expensive, but you can grab a backpack and
Speaker 1: there's probably a lot of websites. You're in Ontario. If
Speaker 1: you haven't been to the US yet, maybe maybe that's
Speaker 1: something you could do, is head to the US and
Speaker 1: take a backpacking trip. Maybe jump on some trains that
Speaker 1: they have in on the East coast and see Philly
Speaker 1: and New York and Baltimore and d C. And cruise
Speaker 1: up and down the coast a little bit. Uh. If
Speaker 1: you haven't seen the rest of Canada, you could find
Speaker 1: out a lot about yourself by going into a different culture,
Speaker 1: like Bernie said, and flipping the script on what is
Speaker 1: normal and trying something new. Muh. I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't know if I like I said, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've found myself. I have a lot more uh
Speaker 1: security and my identity where my identity is found, and
Speaker 1: you know, just life experience. But would you say that
Speaker 1: you typically find those things when you're not looking for them. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And what's interesting is I was thinking, me and you
Speaker 1: did the same thing that as at Andrew's age, Me
Speaker 1: and you did the same thing. We both moved to Nashville, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: which was a yeah, music related, dream related, I get it.
Speaker 1: But there was way more to it than that. It
Speaker 1: was getting out of our home state you were coming from,
Speaker 1: actually Atlanta. It's getting out of our home state and
Speaker 1: flipping the script and stripping away everything. It's not like
Speaker 1: we were meaning to do that, but that's what we
Speaker 1: did in a roundabout way. I went to Nashville. I
Speaker 1: got away from every comfort I had, every friend, I had,
Speaker 1: every piece of income that I had, and flipped script
Speaker 1: and tried something new. And guess what happened. It took
Speaker 1: me four years living there. But when I moved back
Speaker 1: to Texas after those four years, I was a different person.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would if I could say
Speaker 1: I found myself, but I found myself a lot more
Speaker 1: than I did when I first moved to Tennessee. And
Speaker 1: traveling will do that. New cultures, meeting new kinds of
Speaker 1: people that don't sound the same or address the same
Speaker 1: as you do. It's a good way to you could
Speaker 1: you could find out quickly if the way of life
Speaker 1: you've been living is the right way, or maybe you
Speaker 1: were thinking backwards, but you could figure that out by
Speaker 1: just seeing new people working a new job, like Bernie said,
Speaker 1: trying a new craft, a new skill. The reason. I
Speaker 1: think society has set itself up in the perfect way
Speaker 1: through God. If you're a believer that you're a senior
Speaker 1: in high school, and it's like that is the age
Speaker 1: when you're supposed to leave the nest and get out
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone, which is about seventeen, eighteen, nineteen
Speaker 1: twenty years old. Right around there is the time when
Speaker 1: you're supposed to leave and leave your mom and dad,
Speaker 1: or your dad, your aunt wherever you're living. I don't know.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to leave that nest and try to fly
Speaker 1: and fall and get back up and try to fly again.
Speaker 1: That's the age. You don't do that any earlier. You're
Speaker 1: not supposed to. Really you can, you're not supposed to,
Speaker 1: and you're not supposed to do it any later. This
Speaker 1: damage on both sides. Our society has learned through hundreds
Speaker 1: and hundreds of years that when a boy turns eighteen,
Speaker 1: get out of the nest and try to fly, Andrew,
Speaker 1: that's when you figure out who you are. Is when
Speaker 1: you first spread your wings out of your nest. So
Speaker 1: the answer is you're doing You're asking the right question,
Speaker 1: and you're welcome to the club. It is like Bernie said,
Speaker 1: the very big welcome, Welcome. You're eighteen, you haven't found yourself.
Speaker 1: You're right on track, good job, doing the exact thing
Speaker 1: you need to be doing. And one day, when you're
Speaker 1: my age and Bernie's age, you'll look back and go, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I found myself. Now I found it and you will too.
Speaker 1: Ye yee yee yee dude, thanks for being here. Good
Speaker 1: stuff as always. Thank you guys. Y'all are the best.
Speaker 1: Y'all are awesome. Keep bringing the good questions boom ye
Speaker 1: yee see you. Thanks for joining me on the Granger
Speaker 1: Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never miss
Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video. If you have a question
Speaker 1: for me that you would like me to answer, email
Speaker 1: Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye ye