1 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: So I'm going to tell a difficult story. Part of 2 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: a story would be impossible to tell the full story 3 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: in this brief period of time. But I'm going to 4 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: start sharing a story with you about a topic that's 5 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: been really challenging. It's been my experience with divorce, which 6 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 1: has been nine years plus on a two year marriage. 7 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: I have spent millions of dollars, millions of tears. I 8 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:42,160 Speaker 1: have had a horrific I have had a horrific Hall 9 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: of Fame nightmare divorce, and I have been I've been 10 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: struggling with talking about this for years. A because it 11 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: didn't have a finish point, B because I have a daughter, 12 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: and because as it's private. And I've just struggled because 13 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: when do you when do you share something so it 14 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: can help someone else. I've gotten so many messages, and 15 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: I hear so many horror stories about people going through 16 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: challenging experiences with divorce, and I feel that it's irresponsible 17 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: to not give. All I do is give advice on business. 18 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: I'm being an entrepreneur on things that are so inconsequential 19 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 1: in my life compared to what I went through. So 20 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: that's what I'm trying to explain. My business has been 21 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: such a big part of my life, and I have 22 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: been so successful, and I've done something that many people 23 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: have never done before. And I've shared so much about it, 24 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: and I've talked about it, and I've written about it, 25 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: and I've written so many books and articles. There's nothing 26 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: in my life that has affected me as a mother, 27 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: a woman, a human being emotionally, physically, mentally. Uh my, my, 28 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: my face is different. I mean, nothing has affected me 29 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: in the same way as my divorce. There's nothing that 30 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: I'm more of an expert on in the world than 31 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: than divorced. Nothing. I'm literally what I have overcome and accomplished, 32 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: and divorce is so much more enormous than what I 33 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: overcame and accomplished in philanthropy or business. Divorce has been 34 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: my greatest struggle and ultimately my greatest matter to survive, 35 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: and it was torture. So I just would I've battled 36 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: with this, and I feel like I must share slowly 37 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: but surely portions of what I've been through to help 38 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: other women. There's just no way to get around it. 39 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: I want to be sensitive. I hope you'll help me 40 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: be sensitive. I want to not do this, um, this 41 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: isn't to be headline e or splashy or salacious. It's 42 00:02:55,400 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: not gotcha, it's not click bait. It's literally delict lea 43 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 1: trying to help you to navigate one of the most 44 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: challenging struggles you'll ever go through in your life that 45 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: not enough people discuss in a tactical, literal, granular, prescriptive way. 46 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: Many people, particularly women, have reached out to me to 47 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: ask me advice, how they survive it, how they get through, 48 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: have told me their stories varied but all connected in 49 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: some way and similar in some way. And many millions 50 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: of women are struggling with their journey to divorce. And 51 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: there are some horror stories. Uh, divorce is a business. 52 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: People make millions of dollars off of it. Divorce is 53 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of hours in court, and it's a 54 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: legal bottleneck. Divorce is a necessary evil, just like a 55 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: prenup is a necessary evil. But I want to talk 56 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: about touchy topics related to marriage, pre nup, post and up, divorce, 57 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: how to protect yourself, how to prepare, and how to repair. 58 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: So I was married in my twenties. Oh, and I 59 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: also want to say that I don't talk about this 60 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: specifically as it pertains to my daughter, because I don't 61 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: want to talk about my daughter as it pertains to 62 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: this matter specifically. I mean, I'll get into certain things 63 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: because it'll be unavoidable in describing things to you to 64 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: not mention my daughter. But I haven't really talked about 65 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: it in great detail. A because it wasn't over fully 66 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: fully over. I didn't have a finite ending be because 67 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: of her. And see, because I felt that I've always 68 00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:00,559 Speaker 1: been bound and gagged and shackled. And while that's fine, 69 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: and that's to protect children and a circumstance, whether it's 70 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: me to a physical or emotional abuse, whatever it is, 71 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: people have to speak up in order for other people 72 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: to learn. And I've been through an ordeal. I've been 73 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: through hell. I've been to hell and back. I can't 74 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: mean I'm going to explain, but I can't express to 75 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: you how bad my experience has been. I was married 76 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: in my twenties to a nice man who I loved. 77 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: His family, we were very close, and I was kind 78 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: of marrying him, and then because I didn't have my 79 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: own family, and uh, it didn't work out. And I 80 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: remember sending back to him the ring and a pair 81 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: of earrings his parents had parents had got me. Uh, 82 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: and I believe he sent me a watch that I 83 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: bought him. And I did not know anything and we 84 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: didn't have I didn't have anything, and it was just 85 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: we're divorced and there's no money that needs to change hands, 86 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: and no one needs to give me anything ng um 87 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: and by I was twenty six years old and he 88 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: came from a wealthy family. And you know, there was 89 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: never a conversation that I would take anything from him 90 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: after six Sorry if they're being together two almost three 91 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 1: years but married for seven months, there's no way that 92 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: I would take keep a ring we were married, but 93 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: it's my engagement ring because we did get married. But 94 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: still it just it just was like right and wrong. 95 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: That was it. You know, I've never taken anything from anyone, Okay, 96 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: never um and So I am always very trusting, I 97 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: really am. I will focus on the minutia and the 98 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 1: small details with the things that really could matter. Um, 99 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: I'm not like this anymore. And and I've learned, but 100 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 1: you don't want to be bitter, but the things that 101 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,359 Speaker 1: really could matter you kind of just don't want to 102 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: deal with. Like you close your eyes and say if 103 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: I can't see them, then they're not real and act. 104 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:02,720 Speaker 1: And when I got married years ago, I wanted to 105 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: marry someone who could sort of um who was I 106 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: ended up marrying someone who was just a regular person, UM, 107 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: who seemed like they could handle all of what's going 108 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: on with me and being in reality television and UM. 109 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: I was sort of proud of myself for just marrying 110 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: someone who had a simple life and they didn't come 111 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: from much, and so they would never want anything from me, 112 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: because this is just not the way that it goes. 113 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: People who don't come from a lot just are happy 114 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: with that sort of small town life and and that 115 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: that would never really be a whole issue. And I 116 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: had a lawyer that said to me about my prenup, 117 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: it's terrible and I wouldn't let you sign this, And 118 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: of course I said, no, no one's taking anything for me, 119 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: and and you know, I'm trusting and I just don't 120 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: want to deal with this. And it was embarrassing. The 121 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: word prenup is embarrassing to me. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. 122 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: A contract when you get married, it's an uncomfortable, awkward concept. 123 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: You're literally I was watching Yellowstone and Beth and Rip 124 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: are gonna get married, and he doesn't have any papers, 125 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: and so she said, getting married isn't being in having 126 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: a contract. We're not. I'm not going into business together. 127 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: So if I had known that getting into marriage is 128 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: the same thing as getting into business together with a 129 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: business partner, I mean my eyes would have been more open. 130 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: So for those of you listening, no, everybody, I think 131 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: it's Tyson. I'm sure I have the quote wrong, so 132 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,959 Speaker 1: I've got to look it up once and for all. 133 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: Everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. 134 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 1: So let's just start from the beginning. I don't care 135 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: if it's a small business. I don't care if you're 136 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,599 Speaker 1: starting a philanthropic organization. I don't care if it's a 137 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: bake sale okay, or if it's a cute little macromay 138 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: business with your your camp bunkmate. Be organized, because ship 139 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: doesn't happen when it's nothing. Shit happens when it's something. 140 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: So be a big girl and a big boy and 141 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 1: be or organized in the beginning. Have the uncomfortable conversations. 142 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: I don't say to my business partnerys, I don't want 143 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: to talk about that. That's weird. They would never do that. 144 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: I don't say when I get into business with major 145 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: multibilion dollar corporations, they would never do that. They don't 146 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 1: want my money, they're not interested in that. I mean, 147 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 1: it's just preposterous. So just don't be so trusting. Okay, 148 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: moving right along, don't get into something if you don't 149 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: feel that it's absolutely right. That's business, that's relationships. Don't 150 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: move forward and do something because it's what everyone else 151 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: is telling you that you should do, because it's what 152 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 1: you feel that you should do, because it's what your 153 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: parents want, but because of what everybody else is doing. 154 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: If it's uncomfortable to break something off, it's uncomfortable to 155 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: do something challenging and unpopular. But trust me, continuing to 156 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: go down a road that you you think and your 157 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: gut that might be wrong is a recipe for a 158 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: lifetime of heartache. So please, if there's nothing else you 159 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: learn from me, it is that just understand cracks become creators. 160 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: Problems you see in the beginning will become massive canyons later. 161 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: So think about how things look in the beginning. Um, 162 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,680 Speaker 1: and these aren't supposed to be number one too, because 163 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: I'll forget what number my mom. But anyway, UM, next, 164 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: I I was wrong. I misjudged. I was totally totally wrong. 165 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: And I started out and thought that I would consciously 166 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: on couple. I thought that I would be a great 167 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: co parenting. It's amazing in the movies. It's so great 168 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: when people can just support each other and understand that 169 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 1: you want your partner to have another boyfriend or girlfriend 170 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: or fiance or or wife or husband because you want 171 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: more people to love your child. That's a good thing. Um. 172 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: You want schedules to be flexible, meaning if it's best 173 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,839 Speaker 1: for the child, you have to put the child first. 174 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 1: You have to find a way, no matter how angry 175 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: you are, you have to find a way to make 176 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: your child's well being more important than your anger for 177 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: the other person. I'm trying to choose my words wisely. 178 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 1: I've been the victim of the opposite experience. I've been 179 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: the victim of anger trumping the benefits of a child. 180 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: And this could be even in a situation where both 181 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: parents love the child so much, parents are tempted to 182 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: win the favor of the child to buy them. There's 183 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: a great thing. People get divorced and all of a 184 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: sudden it could be the mother or the father that 185 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: wasn't really involved, and then they become super parent. They're 186 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: so involved. Then every time the kid goes back to 187 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: one parent, they're buying them a thousand gifts and trying 188 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: to guess what. Kids are smart, they know everything it's 189 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,079 Speaker 1: going on. No kid's going to not take a gift, 190 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 1: but they get what's going on. Kids will go where 191 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: it's good, where it's emotionally healthy. They are. They are 192 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: living there, breathe, They're growing. They're literally growing right before 193 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: your eyes, and they are growing emotionally. We think about 194 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: them literally, we don't think about them how that they're 195 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: emotional beings that are going through changes. And every moment 196 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: in a child's life is like, uh, you know, a 197 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: year for somebody else. So they're just becoming different. And 198 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: I always thought about Brian. I have never talked bad 199 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 1: about I would never talk bad about anyone in Britain's 200 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: life negatively that affects children. And I remember the first 201 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: time we were getting divorced and I remember going to 202 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: see the judge. I want a primary custody of Brian 203 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: because I have a challenging schedule. Sometimes after travel most 204 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: of the time I'm at home, but in the event 205 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: that I had to go, which only happened one time 206 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: in a decade, to Australia for eight nights. I don't 207 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: want to be away from my daughter. I want there 208 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: to be some flexibility. So in asking for primary custody, 209 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to be able to have more time so 210 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: I could give it back, be flexible, but have flexibility 211 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 1: with my schedule. And I had the gut instinct in 212 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,199 Speaker 1: the intuition that my X would be very rigid about 213 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: that and would just hold it to the letter of 214 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,079 Speaker 1: the law. And then I would just if I would 215 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: miss out, I'd either have to miss out on an 216 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: opportunity or a financial opportunity. And I was supporting my 217 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: daughter and my ex or you know, and I don't. 218 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: I didn't want to be away from her ever, So 219 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: I just wanted there to be some flexibility. But some 220 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 1: people you will find and you need to know this 221 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: when you're getting divorced. Understand that when you're getting divorced, 222 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: if unfortunately you're getting divorced, that you have to be 223 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: very thorough in what you agree upon and you have 224 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,559 Speaker 1: to fight for what you want, and it will be 225 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: uncomfortable and you want to give up, but you have 226 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: to really get what you want and what you need. 227 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 1: So custody agreements, divorce agreements, things like that. There there 228 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: there pieces of paper, their documents. No judge, no lawyer, 229 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 1: no person can know any that's going to happen, any 230 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,959 Speaker 1: accidents going to happen, any kind of natural disaster that's 231 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: going to happen. I don't mean in the world, I 232 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: mean within your own life. People get sick, people have 233 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,719 Speaker 1: emotional issues, people have issues at school, children have um 234 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: drama with friends. You have to know that it's a 235 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: document just for structure. It's not supposed to be used 236 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: as a weapon against the other person and to control 237 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: a situation, because it's used often as a weapon, and 238 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: a judge only looks at you know, writing on a 239 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: paper and a signature, So some people want to use 240 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: that and and weaponize a document. Not so it's in 241 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 1: the best interests of a child, but so it's to 242 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: do a gotcha and count every day and there's no flexibility. 243 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: That's debilitating. It's not good for a child, it's not 244 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: good for you, it's not good for your partner. I 245 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: was part of a very extreme example of circumstances. I 246 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: had a situation where I had an apartment that I 247 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: paid for with my money that was in my name, 248 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: and one day my lawyer said to me, it's not 249 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: in your name. I had no idea how that could 250 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 1: possibly happen. I used to be in my apartment and 251 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: documents would be handed to me the and I remembered 252 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: there was the final page of a document and it 253 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: was described to me differently. And then I later found 254 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: out that the document was forged and illegally notarized, and 255 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: that my apartment was in my own apartment. So I 256 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: had to spend millions and millions of dollars and months 257 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: and months and appeals to the court to get my apartment. 258 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: That was one dreadful thing. I was followed, I was hacked, 259 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: I had my email broken into, I had my every 260 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: move watched without my knowing, and until I realized, because 261 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 1: I couldn't figure out why I was being tormented, I 262 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: was threatened. I was harassed. I was emailed hundreds and 263 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: hundreds of times in a very short period of time. 264 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: And everyone that I went to a professional said you're 265 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: not being physically abused, and I said, I know, this 266 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 1: isn't right. I know this isn't right, and this was 267 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: about me at the time. I knew it wasn't right 268 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: for my daughter. I wasn't able to commut unicate with her. 269 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to talk to her. I wasn't able 270 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: to face time her when it wasn't my time. I 271 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: was taunted, I was tormented, and I wasn't able to 272 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 1: communicate with her. It was absolute torture. You have a 273 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: little kid who's being shown candy and being lured into 274 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 1: another room and they can't talk to you. It's it's 275 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: it's exasperating because then if you do have to go 276 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: on a work trip and your away for five or 277 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: six days, you just don't get to speak to your child, 278 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: and your panic that they're going to forget you. And 279 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: you know you've all if you've been divorced or you're 280 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: getting divorced, you know you have this fear. It was 281 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: my worst fear come true. I had to live. Lawyers 282 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: tell you that you can't move out of your house. 283 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: You have to stay in the house. The price what 284 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: is it called the the spousal the marital residence. You 285 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: have to stay in the house. How could you stay 286 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 1: in the house with someone you're going through issues like 287 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: like fraud and being recorded, and you know you're now 288 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: in a house with someone because you need to spend 289 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: time with your child. I had to make individual decisions 290 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: that I wasn't allowed to do. I bought another apartment, 291 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: moved out of the apartment that I owned because I 292 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 1: didn't want my daughter to be in this den of hell. 293 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed to do that. My lawyer said, do 294 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: not allowed to do that. It's a financial it's a 295 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: financial choice and decision, and you haven't figured out your 296 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,399 Speaker 1: finances yet. And I said, I have to be a 297 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: parent first. I can't keep my daughter in a in 298 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,360 Speaker 1: a horrible circumstance. So for the years that my lawyers 299 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: told me I wasn't allowed to buy something, Brent and 300 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 1: I were staying in corporate apartments, temporary apartments, and hotels. 301 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 1: We were in a hotel or a friend's apartment every 302 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: week because we weren't allowed to buy something. But we 303 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,360 Speaker 1: couldn't handle being in the main house. The judge who 304 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: said having a custody battle is like watching your child 305 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: drown asking you for help. That's what Judge Gasmer said 306 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: nine years ago, and I remembered it. I cried and 307 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, we're gonna figure this out. And now 308 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm a victim of a nine year situation because I 309 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: had to fight for what was right. So we'd stayed 310 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: in hotels, corporate apartments. We couldn't stay in my main 311 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,359 Speaker 1: apartment where we had had a pad lock on my 312 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: door um to protect myself, and it was not excepted 313 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: when my daughter still remembers even though she didn't know 314 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: what the point was, but she knew that my that 315 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,920 Speaker 1: the bedroom doors were locked, which is not in her 316 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 1: best interest. So then after a year or so, I said, 317 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: I have to buy my own places is not stable 318 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 1: for her. That's how I ended up with a house 319 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 1: in the Hamptons, so there was a stable place in 320 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: the in in the summers to go, it was exhausting. 321 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: I used to pick her up from school and I 322 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: was terrified to go home. So I would take her 323 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 1: in my heels from my talk show, my full face 324 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 1: and makeup my lashes, and I would take her anywhere. 325 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 1: I would take her anywhere from Barnes and Noble to 326 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: any kids club, to any play date, to anything to 327 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 1: to Mommy and me Margarita's with friends, to have Mexican 328 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,760 Speaker 1: and the kids would run around anything to to reduce 329 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: the time at home. I'd try to get her home, 330 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 1: and then I tried to just have her in a bath, 331 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: and I was taunted within my own home. I had 332 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: I've had someone crawled into my bed and look me 333 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: in the eyes and say, is everything okay. I've had 334 00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: someone follow me when I'm trying to read a book 335 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: to my daughter in her ad. I've been absolutely tortured. 336 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: And I'm telling you this because you need to understand 337 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: that crazy things can happen and you need to protect yourself. 338 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: I want you to know that the legal process is brutal. 339 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 1: It takes a long amount of time and a lot 340 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: of money. I'm sure it exists for people who don't 341 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: have money, and I would like to get into that 342 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 1: as a charity. I don't know exactly how people who 343 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: don't have money get a leg up and get ahead 344 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: of this. Because I have money. I've spent millions of 345 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 1: dollars on this. That's the oh. And I had to 346 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:40,440 Speaker 1: keep persevering, UM, keep going back to trial for what's right. Um. 347 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: But I did it myself. When I tell you that 348 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,879 Speaker 1: lawyers can't do this for you, no one else can 349 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: do this for you. I did it myself. I went 350 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: I remember Dennis who passed away. He told me that 351 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: what I ended up doing with my assistance would be 352 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: would cost like a hundred thousand dollars in late and 353 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 1: legal secretaries to do. I basically went through all of 354 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: the abusive emails, text, things written about me, experiences. I 355 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,720 Speaker 1: had them in binders. I have twenty binders that have 356 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: tabs with different categories, from taunting to obsessing over the 357 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: men that I dated to her, to all kinds of 358 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 1: harassment categorized. Because not until I had it so organized 359 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: and until an incident happened, could I take legal action. 360 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: And finally, the first time I ever felt like a 361 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: can exhale in years was when legal action was taken 362 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: against what is emotional abuse. So I had to take 363 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: matters into my own hands and methodically and slowly capture 364 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: the recordings, the emails, the text, all of it together 365 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: in an organized manner, as if it was a thesis 366 00:20:45,359 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: to have action taken. I think it's important for me 367 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 1: to talk about the whole industry, concept and trauma of 368 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,440 Speaker 1: the topic of divorce. I realized something staggering the other 369 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 1: day and I can't unrealize it. This is crazy. I 370 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: am having a hard time even uttering this next sentence 371 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:26,239 Speaker 1: because it will make me start crying. Twenty of my 372 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: entire life has been spent going through this divorce. How 373 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: insane is that statement? A fifth of my life I've 374 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: spent dealing with this divorce. It's unbelievable. Think about how 375 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 1: we spend our time. So I consider myself an expert 376 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: on the topic. I consider it my responsibility to share 377 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: with people what I've been through so they don't go 378 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,679 Speaker 1: through it as well. And I need to in a 379 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: very detailed and granular manner her gradually describe many different 380 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 1: things that I encounter, because there are very few things 381 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,880 Speaker 1: that I did not encounter during the process of my divorce, 382 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 1: even still after that. So I had to fight for 383 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: what was just in being emotionally abused. I had to 384 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,919 Speaker 1: fight for what was my legal property. I had to 385 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: fight for contact with my daughter and for her to 386 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,439 Speaker 1: not live in a den of hell. I had to 387 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: fight the whole entire way. And recently, after nine and 388 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,160 Speaker 1: a half years, after slowly and methodically going through a process, 389 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,679 Speaker 1: it was over. It started to be over because after 390 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 1: legal action was taken and my ex was arrested, UH 391 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 1: and a couple of other things happened. I was I 392 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 1: went back to trial for the um teenth time and 393 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: was given decision making for my daughter's medical and education. 394 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: And decision making is very important because God forbiddess. People 395 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: always think about just the time. It's not the calendar, 396 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 1: God forbid. There's an emotional issue, there's something that goes on. 397 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: A real decision needs to be made about medical or emotional. 398 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 1: You need someone needs to be the tiebreaker, So think 399 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: about that. So that was great. And then in the 400 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: beginning of the pandemic, because this has been such a 401 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: traumatic time for so many people and emotions are running 402 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: high and we don't think enough about how it affects 403 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: kids and their emotions, and just their world is different, 404 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 1: their schools different, the masks is different, the pods are different, 405 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 1: the friends are different. Everything is different, vaccines, it's just 406 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: a different world. My daughter didn't want to transfer and 407 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,159 Speaker 1: do custody transfers, and my lawyers said to me, you 408 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: must transfer her. She's eleven, you're in charge. You tell 409 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,160 Speaker 1: her to go. And it became emotionally traumatic for her 410 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: and she wouldn't go, and she experienced a lot which 411 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to get into great detail, but a 412 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,719 Speaker 1: lot of trauma. And I said to my lawyers, just 413 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: like I said years ago, about the fact that I 414 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,880 Speaker 1: wasn't going to make myself and bring stay with an 415 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: X in a marital residence just because lawyers and judges 416 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 1: say you have to. You have to do what's best 417 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 1: as a parent, I said, you have to be organ 418 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,680 Speaker 1: eyes though you can't be wild and rogue. I said, 419 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,920 Speaker 1: I'm not going to drag my child out of a car. 420 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: She history, it's it was. I won't get into detail, 421 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: but I wasn't going to do that. So I was 422 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: then threatened to be arrested and held in contempt of court, 423 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 1: and Brent was awarded her own attorney so she could 424 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: have a voice and she could have rights for what's 425 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: best for her, not what's best for me, not what's 426 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 1: best for my ex, what's best for her. And it 427 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 1: started a whole legal process that I fought for and 428 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: stayed the course and did always always, if you always 429 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: do what's right for your child, you'll always be doing 430 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: what's right in the situation. And it's challenging during divorce 431 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 1: to do what's right for your child, because you're also 432 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing, 433 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: what you signed on some contract. What someone's going to 434 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 1: tell some judge. But real life is not on a 435 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: piece of paper. Real life is okay, she's transferring on 436 00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: Tuesday at four thirty. Great, my child is having traumatic 437 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 1: experience and will not transfer. That's real life. A contract 438 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: says you have to live in a house that is 439 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: a torture chamber, and real life means you have to 440 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: do what's best for your child. So that's not an 441 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: easy balance. It's not gonna be an easy balance for 442 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 1: you emotionally. But if you've been through a challenging situation 443 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: or you're about to enter one, I always thought of 444 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: it as something to survive, something to survive. That was 445 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 1: that I thought would kill me many times that I 446 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: fought for that I survived. I tried to trust the process. 447 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 1: I listened to anybody who would give me advice, and 448 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: tried to figure out go with your gut instinct. You 449 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,399 Speaker 1: know best everything that happened, and that everything that happens 450 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,880 Speaker 1: because I made it happen. Lawyers don't make things happen. 451 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 1: Lawyers execute what you need to happen, and uh, my 452 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 1: lawyers were amazing, But I drove the entire process. I 453 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: drove the research, I drove the the decisions. What was 454 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 1: just And you need to think of it like eighteen 455 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 1: holes of golf. Okay, you know when you're at one 456 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 1: and you just know you're gonna get to eighteen, you 457 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 1: don't know how, and you think it's going to kill you. 458 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: And I will say, don't sweat the small stuff, meaning 459 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 1: the minutia doesn't matter. Don't rack up bills and time 460 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: and stress over bullshit, small bullshit that doesn't matter. It 461 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 1: only matters if you let it bother you. Then there's 462 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 1: really big things that do matter, real issues. Um, and 463 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,919 Speaker 1: I've been through every single one of them. So on 464 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 1: December eighth, my nine plus year custody divorce battle ended. 465 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: And it is the greatest relief and the biggest struggle, obstacle, fight, 466 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,359 Speaker 1: emotionally tormenting experience I've ever been through in my entire life. 467 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 1: And if I can help other people to make that 468 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: journey easier, that's what I'm here to do. So I've 469 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: never spoken about this, and I really also if there's 470 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: media that ever listened to this podcast, I really uh, 471 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: implore them to be respectful because the reason that I'm 472 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: doing this is for the people listening, the women in particular, 473 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: who are not in control. They haven't made the best 474 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: financial decisions. Somehow they got on a road and now 475 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: they're being dealt a shitty hand and they don't know 476 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: how they're going to survive. They're being emotionally tormented, financially controlled, 477 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: and they can't see a way out. And for me, 478 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 1: as a wealthy person who's successful, who's powerful and strong 479 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 1: and has great lawyers, I have thought that I would 480 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 1: never see the way out nine and a half years, 481 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: one foot in front of another, like a hike, like 482 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 1: a sixt mile, like one foot in front of another, 483 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 1: making good decisions, never taking the bait, always doing what 484 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: was best for my child, always thinking rationally, always saying 485 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 1: to myself, please, this will end at some point, and 486 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: you'll have a story to tell. You'll be able to 487 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: help other people. You will survive something, you will learn something. 488 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: You'll be able to use this as a teaching tool. 489 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: I don't know what this is, but I know this 490 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 1: is important. I've been I've seen enough messages from women. 491 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: I've been agg ordered long enough. It's doing everyone a 492 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: disservice if I don't truthfully explain that I've been through 493 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 1: fucking torture and hell, emotionally abused, tormented, stolen from, defrauded, tricked, recorded, hacked, 494 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,520 Speaker 1: you name it, it's happened to me in nine years. 495 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: And I came out on the other side and it 496 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 1: ended because I fought for what was right and justice came. 497 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: It came late, it was long, and the divorce business 498 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 1: is a shitty one, but justice was served.