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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and just click submit Strawberry Letter. And you never know,

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Speaker 1: we could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're gonna do this one right here, right now,

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Speaker 1: This one could be yours. H buckle, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Subject he won't honor my husband's memory. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm a forty seven year old woman and I've been

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Speaker 1: dating my soul mate for the past eight years. We

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Speaker 1: cannot be more perfect for each other, and we have

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Speaker 1: blended our children and lives together in preparation for marriage.

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Speaker 1: I have two children from my husband, who died ten

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Speaker 1: years ago. He has one daughter from a previous relationship.

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Speaker 1: He's forty nine and has never been married, so he

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Speaker 1: can't wait for us to make it official. There's one

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Speaker 1: thing that's holding us back. He wants me to erase

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Speaker 1: my husband's memory from my mind. I have a family

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Speaker 1: picture in my living room on a bookshelf. He says

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Speaker 1: it's not appropriate for it to be there if he

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Speaker 1: moves in with me. He also doesn't like that my son,

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Speaker 1: who's twenty one, kept a good amount of his dad's

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Speaker 1: clothes and his coats to feel close to him. My

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Speaker 1: boyfriend thinks all memories should be raced. My daughter is seventeen,

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Speaker 1: and for her eighteenth birthday, I plan to give her

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Speaker 1: my diamond wedding ring from her father, along with a

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Speaker 1: few other trinkets I was holding on too. I sent

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Speaker 1: the jewelry to be cleaned and my boyfriend picked it

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Speaker 1: up from me. He found out what the items were

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Speaker 1: and he had a fit, saying, I keep holding on

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Speaker 1: to memorabilia from a man that's long gone. My heart

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Speaker 1: was broken because the man I'm with now is my everything,

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Speaker 1: but he's stressing out about a man that poses no

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Speaker 1: threat to him or our relationship. I have suggested we

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Speaker 1: start fresh with a new home, but my home has acreage,

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Speaker 1: a pool, and it's on a lake, so he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to sell my home. He's really upset now because

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Speaker 1: my former sister in law came to town and stayed

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Speaker 1: with me for two days so she could spend time

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Speaker 1: with my children. He hasn't spoken to me in a week,

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Speaker 1: and I can't live like this. What am I doing

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Speaker 1: That's so wrong? Funny you should ask that, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing so wrong? My response to that is about

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Speaker 1: to marry him. That's what you're doing wrong, and I'm

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Speaker 1: asking you please don't do it. I think this man

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Speaker 1: is immature, This man is controlling. This man is just mean.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you said it best. Why is he so

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Speaker 1: threatened by a man who's been dead for ten years?

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Speaker 1: And why should you forget the father of your children

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Speaker 1: and the man you shared so much else with. If

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Speaker 1: your new man wanted to erase your ex's memories altogether,

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Speaker 1: why doesn't, he, like you suggested, put you in a

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Speaker 1: brand new house. I'm still trying to figure out exactly

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Speaker 1: what he does bring to the table, and what's so

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Speaker 1: great about this guy other than him being jealous of

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Speaker 1: a dead man? So um, I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: think he's your soulmate. I don't think a soulmate would

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Speaker 1: bully you into erasing memories of your late husband. And

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Speaker 1: you guys are not, like you said in this letter,

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Speaker 1: perfect for each other. You're you're not the Every line

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Speaker 1: in the letter proves that you know. I please take

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Speaker 1: a good heart. Look at this man and remember, you

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Speaker 1: know what, he doesn't have to He doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: honor your husband's memory. He doesn't, but he should absolutely

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Speaker 1: be respectful of the fact and respect the fact that

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Speaker 1: you honor your husband's memory and your kids honor his memory.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like you have an urn in

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Speaker 1: the bedroom on the headboard or anything, you know, with

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Speaker 1: your husband's dead ashes. I just think that any decent

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Speaker 1: human being wouldn't have a problem with the fact that

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Speaker 1: you remember your late husband in some way. It's okay,

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Speaker 1: and it's quite normal, you know, for him to be

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Speaker 1: scared of a dead man that can't do anything. That's

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Speaker 1: what's not right. So I just say, please, don't waste

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Speaker 1: any more of your time with this guy, Steve, girl, girl,

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Speaker 1: give me this letter. Let me talk to this lady. See,

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Speaker 1: listen to me. He won't honor my husband's memory. He

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Speaker 1: ain't got to. He don't know him. Now, there are

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Speaker 1: some things he's doing in the letter that I agree with,

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Speaker 1: and in some things he's doing in a letter that

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Speaker 1: I disagree with. All Right, so now let's start. I'm

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Speaker 1: a forty seven year old woman and I've been dating

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Speaker 1: my soul mate for the past eight years. Okay, if

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Speaker 1: he's your soul mate, If this is your soul mate,

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Speaker 1: who was the other dude? Talk about the dead dude now,

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Speaker 1: because this is your soul mate, who was the other man? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So now let's just start with that information. We could

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Speaker 1: not be more perfect for each other. We blended our

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Speaker 1: family lives together in preparation for marriage. I got two

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Speaker 1: children from my husband who died ten years ago. He's

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Speaker 1: one daughter from a previous relationship. Now, your guys forty

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Speaker 1: nine never been married, so he can't wait for us

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Speaker 1: to make an official That's one thing that's holding us back.

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Speaker 1: He wants me to erase my husband's memory from my mind.

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Speaker 1: But let's talk about this for a minute. I have

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Speaker 1: a family picture in my living room on a bookshelf.

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Speaker 1: He says it's not appropriate for to be there if

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Speaker 1: he moves in with me. That's true, don't be wrong.

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Speaker 1: I want to watch your dead ass ex husband. I'm

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Speaker 1: not fit to walk past the living room cut TV.

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Speaker 1: He over there anytime I look over there. Now, y'all

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Speaker 1: are in the family photo, and no man fit to

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Speaker 1: do that. So he's absolutely right about wanting the photo removed,

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Speaker 1: and you got to understand this man ain't move it

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Speaker 1: to this house with this mess right here, that this

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Speaker 1: damn pitch of this dead dude up hill. So I

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Speaker 1: agree with him right there. He doesn't like to my son,

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Speaker 1: who's twenty one, kept in the mount of my dad's

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Speaker 1: closing his coach and feel close to him. My boyfriend

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Speaker 1: thinks all memories should be raised, and my daughters seventeen. Okay,

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Speaker 1: first of all, let's deal with sun keep your day coach. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Now he wronged for that. It was still his father.

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Speaker 1: Hold that thought. All right. We'll let part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's stabbery letters not crazy. He won't honor my husband's memory.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,

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Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The sub he won't honor my husband's memory, and based

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Speaker 1: on that title, he don't have to. So that a

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Speaker 1: couple of things in this letter I agree with him,

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Speaker 1: but it's some things I don't agree, and I have

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Speaker 1: a solution for you. At the end, forty seven year

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Speaker 1: old lady been dating her soul mate fate years now.

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Speaker 1: If this is her soul mate that she'd been dating

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Speaker 1: the dead husband obviously was not it, Okay, So let's

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Speaker 1: just deal with that. So your new soul mate is

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Speaker 1: hell and y'all got a blended family, y'all trying to

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Speaker 1: put together. But and he wants to make an official

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Speaker 1: because he's never been married. But the only thing holding

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Speaker 1: you back is he wants to erase my husband's memory

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Speaker 1: from my mind. Okay, and you don't. Obviously, I have

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Speaker 1: a family picture in my living room on a bookshelf.

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Speaker 1: He says it's not appropriate for it to be there

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Speaker 1: if he moves in with me. That's a true statement.

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Speaker 1: Don't nobody want to do that? How would you like

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Speaker 1: it if he had an ex wife of his picture

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Speaker 1: up in the house and you moved in there with him.

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Speaker 1: Don't nobody like that? What's to pitch your fault? And

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Speaker 1: he did? If he live, it'd be worse. But he did.

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Speaker 1: Let's come on, now, Finn, to walk past this every

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Speaker 1: damn day in my house. I'm finning going here watch

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Speaker 1: sports Center now, Clan sitting up there just looking on

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Speaker 1: and he can't watch sports Center? He did? He not

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Speaker 1: my friend. Now, he doesn't like that. Your son, who's

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Speaker 1: twenty one, kept a good amount of his dad's closing

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Speaker 1: coats to feel close to him. The boy, shoot, it

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Speaker 1: was his father. The boy died. The boy he twenty one,

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Speaker 1: that me and he died, and he was eleven years old.

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Speaker 1: That little boy, that was his father. That's all he knew.

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Speaker 1: He got to leave that part alone. It's still his father. Now.

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Speaker 1: My daughter is seventeen, and for her eighteenth birthday, I

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Speaker 1: planned to give up my diamond wed and ring from

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Speaker 1: her father, along with a few other trinkets. I don't

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Speaker 1: know who wants this. What do the eighteen year old

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Speaker 1: girl want? What your damn wedding? Right? I don't know

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Speaker 1: what that's fault. I don't what she want that fault

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but guess you made it up anyway.

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Speaker 1: I was holding on to that you've been holding See,

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Speaker 1: you keep holding on the stuff, and you knew soul

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Speaker 1: mate for him to be your soul mate, you keep

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Speaker 1: holding on this stuff seeing that you're wrong right here,

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Speaker 1: I sent the jewelry to be clean that My boyfriend

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Speaker 1: picked it up from me. He found out what the

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Speaker 1: items were and he had a fit saying I kept

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Speaker 1: holding onto memorabilia from a man that's long gone. And

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Speaker 1: that's true. You can't say this man as your soul mate.

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Speaker 1: You holding onto the wedding ring you got from a

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Speaker 1: dead dude that died ten years ago. Man, lady, you

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Speaker 1: gotta let this go. My heart was broken because the

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Speaker 1: man I'm with now is my everything. Well, if he's

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Speaker 1: your everything, you know both of them can't be everything.

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Speaker 1: This show knew everything. You gotta let your wars everything go.

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Speaker 1: Got to let his ass go. He gone. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people can't dry the car because they keep looking

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Speaker 1: in the rear view mirror. You have a windshield to

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Speaker 1: look out of. That's your future with your new man.

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Speaker 1: You're bringing some of this on yourself. Now. He wrong

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Speaker 1: about the sun, but that's all I can see him

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Speaker 1: wrong for. He little upset about the daughter. But the

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Speaker 1: daughter part is on you, because you're trying to give

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Speaker 1: your daughter for her eighteenth birthday the little ragged ass

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Speaker 1: ring she probably ain't even asked for. You thought it

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Speaker 1: was a good ass ideal when you should. I called

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Speaker 1: it a ragged ass ring because that's what the soul

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Speaker 1: maker has called it. Y'all can take you close your

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Speaker 1: mouths on the zoom like you can't believe I said it.

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Speaker 1: I told you twenty twenty two what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: Points it, close your mouth. The little girl ain't asked

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Speaker 1: to this little ragged ass ring. You thought it would

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Speaker 1: be good to give it to her because your father

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Speaker 1: gave it to me on my wedding day. Now he

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Speaker 1: didn't went out there to pick it up like a fool,

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Speaker 1: I'd have lost it. Oh God, failed down the sewer

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Speaker 1: when I made a left turn on the card, fell

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Speaker 1: out the wind. Now my heart was broke because the

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Speaker 1: man I'm with, Niles, my everything. But he's stressing about

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Speaker 1: a man that poses no threat to him or our relationship.

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Speaker 1: But he's in it. Though. I have suggested we start

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Speaker 1: freshening Hill part where I suggested we s's with a

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Speaker 1: new home. But my home has acreage, a pool, and

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Speaker 1: it's on the lake. So he don't want to sell

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Speaker 1: my home. Oh okay, nah. Now, so he wants the assets,

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Speaker 1: but he don't want the ass that's set down. Huh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did that left them. That's what I just said.

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Speaker 1: He wants the assets, but he don't want the ass

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Speaker 1: that's set down. So now that's really weird. All of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, he'll take the assets that the man created,

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Speaker 1: the acreage, the land, the pool, the equity in the house,

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Speaker 1: but he don't want nothing. Now that's odd. He's really

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Speaker 1: upset now because my former sister in law came to

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Speaker 1: town and stay with me for two days so she

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Speaker 1: could spend time with our children. Now, come on, dogs,

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Speaker 1: you got it. That don't mean her relationship with her

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Speaker 1: sisters gone. He hasn't spoken to me in the week,

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Speaker 1: and I can't live like this one am I doing?

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Speaker 1: That's so wrong? All right? If he can be accepting

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Speaker 1: of the house, he gonna have to be accepting of

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Speaker 1: the coach to clothes that the boy kept. He gonna

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Speaker 1: have to be accepting of the fact that you're gonna

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Speaker 1: give the ring to the daughter. Because there was still

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Speaker 1: that father and that love to the great than he

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Speaker 1: was obviously a great father. So he's kind of good

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Speaker 1: that he can't love the assets and the house and

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Speaker 1: all his help but hate everything else. So I see

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Speaker 1: right now. So he loves anything that he can benefit from,

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Speaker 1: but anything that he can't benefit from he got problem with.

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Speaker 1: So he can benefit from the house. See what I'm

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Speaker 1: saying that's the problem. Y'all need therapy. Pick the hell

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Speaker 1: of a soul mate, though. I'll tell you what, but

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Speaker 1: you better get all these dead ass pictures and get

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Speaker 1: these rings about this house. We burn the coat up him,

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Speaker 1: but we're gonna keep this pool in this land, in

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Speaker 1: this house. You guys can leave us your comments on

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter at Instagram, on Steve Harvey FM and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up

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Speaker 1: next to the Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the same Harvey Morning Show