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Speaker 1: Kiki, I I hate to start the show with something

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Speaker 1: that's going to blow your mind. Don't like I just

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Speaker 1: to start to show with something this monumental. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's maybe I should wait till next hour

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Speaker 1: or hour three or four.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. We do a lot of hours.

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Speaker 1: But on the Tangent yesterday, it was revealed that that

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Speaker 1: Lucks your dog received his first ever pop cup. Because,

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Speaker 1: as you know, we have this shared document and everybody

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Speaker 1: on the show, right, you know, things in the documentary

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Speaker 1: that they might like to talk about on the show. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And lately, you know, I've had a thing or two

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Speaker 1: to say about a thing or two, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I look at this every day.

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Speaker 2: I just said, well, what are we gonna talk about

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Speaker 2: on the show?

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Speaker 1: And I've noticed it's becoming a little bit of just

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Speaker 1: a brain purge for pretty much everybody. And uh, with

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Speaker 1: Kiki's topic suggestion was I went to Starbucks and they

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Speaker 1: gave lux a pop cup.

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Speaker 2: And you just do.

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Speaker 3: This, Well, no, so, okay, I don't go to Starbucks often.

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Speaker 4: I'm a dunkin girl, okay.

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Speaker 3: And so I was just Dillian Dallion on Sunday, which

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Speaker 3: is my new thing to do on Sundays.

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Speaker 2: I like to Dillion Engage.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like to ride around in my car and

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Speaker 3: pretend like I have no budget. I can go to

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Speaker 3: TJ Max, I can go to Marshall's. And so I

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Speaker 3: ended up in the Starbucks line and I ordered me

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Speaker 3: a nice little drink and then the guy goes, oh, hey,

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Speaker 3: he saw lux in the car, and he goes, what

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Speaker 3: do you like a pup cup?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, you know what, As a matter

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Speaker 4: of fact, he.

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Speaker 3: Would, and I gave him his first pup cup and

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Speaker 3: he that man was ready to o d like. I

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Speaker 3: had to black slow down, so I got feet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they all act like like like it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: taken away from them. Every dog acts like the pup cup.

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Speaker 1: I've never seen a dog look at it and be like,

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Speaker 1: you know, here's a lick and then just sort of

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Speaker 1: sit back and reflect. They all just go snout in Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know cream, that's what I think. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: it's just cups. Okay cup.

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Speaker 2: The girls. The girls have never been No.

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Speaker 5: They don't get any like table food or human food

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Speaker 5: or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh so you're one of those, okay, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Well, look, I don't know if anyone else wants to

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Speaker 1: contribute this morning eight five, five, five, nine, one one

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Speaker 1: three five two to blowing Kiki's mind. I would love

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Speaker 1: it if you would, though, but but I have one

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Speaker 1: for you, Okay. Then we went on The Tangent yesterday

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Speaker 1: are off air Uncentured podcast. We talked about this on

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app. You could search for the Fred Show

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Speaker 1: and the Tangent. You can hear it. It was a

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Speaker 1: little bit unhinged, to be honest with you, it is good.

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Speaker 2: I liked it. I went back and listen to our

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Speaker 2: own Tangent. I liked it.

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Speaker 4: I was cracking up last night.

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Speaker 2: I was pretty good at this.

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Speaker 3: It was funny. I really was shot, like y'all blew

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Speaker 3: my mind. On that episode, we.

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Speaker 2: Talked about AI to pop cups. Today, I but.

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Speaker 1: A one to five text that after listening to the

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Speaker 1: Tangent yesterday this Kicky no that the bank will also

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Speaker 1: give you a treat at the drive through for the dog.

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Speaker 2: The bank if you.

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Speaker 1: Go to the bank and you get a dog a

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Speaker 1: lot of times, if you're in the drive food a bank,

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Speaker 1: a lot of times, they'll have treats for the dog.

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Speaker 4: Okay. Putting it on our next to do list.

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Speaker 1: Yes, something else. I'm not sure if you knew this.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this might be overload for you. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if you knew. But if you go to like

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Speaker 1: an ice cream store and they have a lot of flavors,

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Speaker 1: you can ask them for a little bite of a

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Speaker 1: flavor that you might be interested in but you don't

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Speaker 1: know what it tastes like, and they'll give you a

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Speaker 1: little bite of it, a little sample.

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Speaker 2: Yogurt's the same way.

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Speaker 3: Stop playing with me. Yeah, are you serious? It's true,

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Speaker 3: I did not know you go there.

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Speaker 1: You can be like, you know, I'd like to try

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Speaker 1: that one, and they'll give you a little, tiny, little bit.

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Speaker 2: Of it sample. You can do at the deli too,

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Speaker 2: the deli.

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Speaker 3: See, I didn't even know people still worked at the bank.

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Speaker 3: So you know that is mind blowing in the cell

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Speaker 3: because y'all also know that I discovered yesterday that what's

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Speaker 3: about to happen, and that's ai.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she discovered.

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Speaker 1: By the way, if you go to the deli and

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Speaker 1: they don't hand you as slice, if you order like meat,

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Speaker 1: you know, and they slice it right there like like

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Speaker 1: sandwich meat. If they don't hand you the first slice

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Speaker 1: to eat then I'm not about that deli, like I'm

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Speaker 1: never going back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're in the yeah, don't get that out.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't everybody?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Jewel does, every single person. If you're from the Midwest,

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Speaker 1: you go to the Jewels, the first slice stale handed

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Speaker 1: to you Jewel.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, they're understand right now to slice it a certain

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Speaker 5: way because like I always say, like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 5: I want to like super thine if to your legs

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Speaker 5: so you can eat it. They don't want to hand

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Speaker 5: me that.

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Speaker 4: Where I get my meat? Try your hand a Polish deli.

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Speaker 4: I'll take you guys there.

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Speaker 6: Okay, not only will they feed you slices, but they're

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Speaker 6: gonna give samples of everything, like the little dumplings anything

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Speaker 6: like where are you stuffed?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Too responsible for me?

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: A lot of car washes offer treats for your dog

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of the wash.

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Speaker 2: The do what Yeah, car washes have it too, well,

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Speaker 2: wash your dog go they give you a treat.

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Speaker 4: You just put them on the front of your car.

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Speaker 4: You know, when I go to the car wash, I

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Speaker 4: don't want to talk to them.

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Speaker 7: No, me neither.

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Speaker 4: I try my best to.

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Speaker 3: Get car wash because they come over there and they

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Speaker 3: want to up charge you and seal you a special

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Speaker 3: water for the underneath your car.

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Speaker 4: I don't need any of that.

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Speaker 1: You never get that you're supposed to get to underwater

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Speaker 1: special water. I'm here for under car special water. The

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Speaker 1: five dollar I want the five dollar car. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to talk to you. I don't want to roll

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Speaker 1: my window down. Move the price one up too. I

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Speaker 1: told Kale the other day it was like three dollars.

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Speaker 1: Now it's like like six or five or something.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know. Why are they over there telling

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Speaker 2: me how to do the touchscreen.

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Speaker 4: I don't need that, and then they asked for a tip.

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Speaker 4: I'm doing it, and I'm like I'm good. I'm good,

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Speaker 4: and they're telling you, oh, click here, click there. I

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Speaker 4: know how to use a touch screen.

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Speaker 5: That's why you have to get the monthly, because then

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Speaker 5: you just pull up, it reads your license plate and

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Speaker 5: you just keep rolling.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we'll get to that. Yeah please. Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: The big shop at Jewel always has cookies for the customers. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: little tray the ice cream truck will have it.

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Speaker 2: A treat for your dog.

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Speaker 1: They will do a pup cup at dunk And somebody said,

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Speaker 1: really if you asked for it. I guess, okay, I

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Speaker 1: wonder if Boss Bay downstairs will do it for you.

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Speaker 3: She don't want to do what what she's paid to do,

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Speaker 3: so I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just I just wouldn't arrive when the store open,

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Speaker 1: just because I might come about forty five minutes later.

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Speaker 4: If we has banker hours.

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Speaker 2: Ye yeah, girl Boss she shows up when she wants to.

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Speaker 1: My Walgreens pharmacy has dog treats as well. Costco will

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Speaker 1: give you a bone of the gas line. I found

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Speaker 1: out that this is random. I found out that fishes

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Speaker 1: is a real word. Fishes can be even talking about

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Speaker 1: multiple schools of different types of fish. Thank you, thank

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Speaker 1: you for that. Okay, now why I also saw this

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Speaker 1: on the sheet just while we're here? What car wash

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Speaker 1: scheme have you involved yourself in? Let me read it

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Speaker 1: to you exactly, okay, just so we can be clear again,

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Speaker 1: this is our shared document. Maybe we should make this

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Speaker 1: public I don't know, so that everybody can see it. Kiki,

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Speaker 1: I signed up for the unlimited car wash scam? Are

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Speaker 1: you a part of this club? Please explain? I have

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Speaker 1: to and then we'll move on.

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Speaker 4: Please is a scam?

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Speaker 3: Because so I went to go get the five dollar

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Speaker 3: car wash, which turned into an eight dollar car wash now.

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Speaker 3: And when I pull up, the guy is like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you're in the wrong lane. This is for the lane

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Speaker 3: of folks who have the monthly. Yeah, premire customer.

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Speaker 4: So then I'm like, well, me and lux A Premier customers.

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Speaker 3: So he's like, oh, well you don't have the monthly

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Speaker 3: and I was like, well, what's the monthly.

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Speaker 4: He's like, hmm, thirty bucks a month.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I said thirty you get a pup cup.

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Speaker 4: With that, I get a free air freshmer or something.

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Speaker 3: And he's like, well yeah this time. So I'm like, well,

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Speaker 3: sign me up. I'm not a brokie, and so he

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Speaker 3: signed me up for this this unlimited plan. But when

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Speaker 3: you think about it, if the car wash is eight bucks,

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Speaker 3: I may get a car wash once a month.

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Speaker 8: I don't.

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Speaker 4: I'm not in my like, I don't go to the

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Speaker 4: car wash like that.

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Speaker 3: But it's a scam because now it's gonna it's gonna

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Speaker 3: charge my car every single month.

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Speaker 2: Go more, just take the car there.

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Speaker 3: More need this, But you pressure me and make me

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Speaker 3: feel like I need this.

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Speaker 4: I don't need this.

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Speaker 5: That's why they're standing there. They're standing there, so I

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Speaker 5: go twice a week, so it like pays for it

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Speaker 5: exactly a couples.

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Speaker 1: I used to have that one all the time. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's great for your car to go, but

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Speaker 1: I still do it.

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Speaker 2: I used to do it. At least they put that

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Speaker 2: they were.

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Speaker 3: He was so quick to put that little sticker in

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Speaker 3: my window and come with his little like get you

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Speaker 3: the key chain.

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Speaker 2: Or car, and you told him you wanted that I broke.

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Speaker 3: It made me feel like a loser if I didn't

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Speaker 3: have the permit, Like I was strong and I had

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Speaker 3: other cars behind me. So he was like, oh you

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Speaker 3: don't have it, well, we're gonna have to move you

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Speaker 3: to the next line.

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Speaker 2: You gotta get him a loser live.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you broke line BOKI live eight. Oh man, I

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Speaker 3: signed up for the scam and now I'm a part

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: I think I'll pay for itself.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's a scam. Okay. It's amazing how

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Speaker 2: you you could.

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Speaker 1: You could control whether you're getting scanned or up by

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Speaker 1: just taking the car there.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna take all yall cars there to leave.

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Speaker 2: It's stay or go.

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Speaker 1: Scott is here, I Scott, good morning, Good morning, Scott, Welcome.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for hitting us up.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of places you can get ahold of us,

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Speaker 1: fred Shaw Radio and the social search for the Fred

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Speaker 1: Show fred Shaw.

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Speaker 2: Radio dot com.

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Speaker 1: And so you're having an issue with your girlfriend of

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Speaker 1: about six years.

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Speaker 2: So what's going on? I can't wait to hear about this.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, Well, like you said, we've been together six years,

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Speaker 8: and like I don't know, lately, I'm feeling a lot

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Speaker 8: of pressure to like propose, but I'm just not ready.

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Speaker 2: So that sounds familiar, I guess.

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Speaker 8: I guess I just want to I kind of want

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Speaker 8: your opinion on that, Like do you think it's too

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Speaker 8: long or do you think it's like I shouldn't worry

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Speaker 8: about it.

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, you should worry, all right. I need a

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Speaker 1: little more information. I need I need a lot more information.

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Speaker 1: I mean, right, so that's been six years, right, what

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Speaker 1: do you think? Okay, Well, I mean we were talking

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Speaker 1: about this earlier. But you know, whether it's Kiki and

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Speaker 1: almost eight years or whatever, it was seven and a half.

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Speaker 1: And then you you know, sort of joking about since

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Speaker 1: the day that I met you, where is my proposal?

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Speaker 1: Or you know, it's Kaylin who's been with someone for

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Speaker 1: a little while and isn't in any hurry whatsoever. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of context here. So six years is

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Speaker 1: she pressuring you?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Is she is?

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Speaker 1: She's fairly so beginning to add or has she been

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Speaker 1: asking Hey, where's this going?

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Speaker 2: I mean it's.

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Speaker 1: Because maybe people are together forever and never get married

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Speaker 1: and they're okay with that, and then maybe people are

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Speaker 1: together for three months and they're like, hey, where's the ring?

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Speaker 2: I mean I've kind of encountered both. What what's happening here?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, this is gonna sound kind of silly. So like

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Speaker 8: normally like she's never really brought it up or really

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Speaker 8: even seem to like worry too much either, but like

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Speaker 8: she's a giant swifties. So with the last couple of weeks,

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Speaker 8: like with all the big news and stuff, like you

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Speaker 8: get really caught the marriage bug.

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Speaker 2: I'd say, get out of here, get out of it.

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Speaker 1: Has she actually cited that, like she said, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: you know Travis and Taylor are engaged, So I mean

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Speaker 1: that hasn't actually come up?

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Speaker 8: Oh well, I was sitting next to her when she

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Speaker 8: saw the news on her phone, and she like started

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Speaker 8: like crying and being like so emotional, like I don't know,

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Speaker 8: like and then yeah, so like the last couple of weeks,

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Speaker 8: it's kind of just been like talking about our future

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Speaker 8: and like you know what things look like on the

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Speaker 8: line and.

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Speaker 2: Things you've got to kid, I was emotionable too, I

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Speaker 2: get it, but.

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Speaker 1: It's something to be It's one thing to be emotionable,

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Speaker 1: like Scott's grow up friend. To be emotionable, that's one thing.

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Speaker 1: But then but to put the pressure on because because

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Speaker 1: she's as swifty, because she got engaged. I mean, it's like,

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Speaker 1: look at her life, Well what about you slack her?

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Speaker 7: Right?

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Speaker 2: I mean, is that that's not fair? But here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: So she's indicated to you that she wants to be

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Speaker 1: married to you. How long has she been talking like that?

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Speaker 1: Of the six years you've been together?

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Speaker 8: Just recently, honestly, Like it's something we've kind of talked about,

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Speaker 8: Like I feel like we both always wanted to get married,

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Speaker 8: but like this, like like I said, this marriage bug,

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Speaker 8: like that's brand new, and like I'm honestly it makes

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Speaker 8: me like I'm ready to fight Travis Kelcey.

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Speaker 9: Like I may not be.

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Speaker 8: As big as him or as strong as him, but

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Speaker 8: like I'm ready to go.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I wonder how many people are in

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Speaker 1: this situation where you know, she she sort of inspired

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Speaker 1: within a bunch of folks, men, women, whomever, Like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I want that too, proposed to me in the backyard.

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Speaker 2: What are you doing? So okay? What's your position though?

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Speaker 2: I mean, are you.

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Speaker 1: What's the hold do you want to be married? Why

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Speaker 1: are you not proposing? I mean, and again I don't

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Speaker 1: say it in the judgmental way. I mean, you have

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Speaker 1: every right to live your life however you want, but what, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what is the hold up?

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Speaker 8: I mean, there's a few reasons, but plat out, I'm

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Speaker 8: just not ready, Like it's something I want to do

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Speaker 8: in the future, but like I don't know, Like I

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Speaker 8: don't see why it's a problem for like everyone to

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Speaker 8: take their own path, Like like yeah, six years, but

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Speaker 8: like if we're not ready after six years, then why rush?

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Speaker 8: Like I don't know, Like I'm still trying to figure

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Speaker 8: out my career a little bit, and you know, like

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Speaker 8: there's no way where we could afford like the wedding

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Speaker 8: i'd want to give her, or the ring I'd want

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Speaker 8: to give her. Yet so like I guess that's kind

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Speaker 8: of the stuff I'm working on.

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Speaker 1: But so she wants to be married, how long do

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Speaker 1: you think that those things are going to take?

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Speaker 2: Likes this time frame, the type thing.

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Speaker 1: Thing you're thinking before we get the career and the

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Speaker 1: money things sorted out, I mean the year, I mean,

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Speaker 1: how long are we thinking? Because I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: at some point I do understand that I don't no

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Speaker 1: one should be rushed and no one should do anything

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Speaker 1: that they're uncomfortable doing or then I don't feel compelled

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Speaker 1: to do. But and here's my question, everybody else eight five, five, five, nine,

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Speaker 1: one one oh three five, at what juncture is it

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Speaker 1: fair for a person who wants to be married to

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Speaker 1: say this is enough time? And you yeah, I can

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Speaker 1: hear people now going, well, there isn't one, and I

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Speaker 1: would normally agree with that. But if you're somebody who

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Speaker 1: wants to get married and maybe you want to have kids,

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Speaker 1: there is and you want to be married when you

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Speaker 1: have kids, if those are things that are important to you,

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Speaker 1: there is kind of a time frame. It's a little

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Speaker 1: bit of a finite thing. You know, you can't necessarily

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Speaker 1: do this when you're fifty, you know you can't necessarily

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Speaker 1: you can but you know, I mean, if you're are

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Speaker 1: you gonna be together for twenty years before you feel comfortable?

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Speaker 1: And that at that point have things passed you by somewhat?

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Speaker 1: I mean, how long is it gonna take?

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Speaker 8: Bro, I don't know, And I totally get what you're saying,

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Speaker 8: Like we're both still relatively young, but like, I don't know,

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Speaker 8: I'm just not ready. It might be a year, it

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Speaker 8: might be another two years. I don't know, but I

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Speaker 8: definitely get what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: Because the worst thing is if you know, I want

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Speaker 1: to be married to you and I'm getting emotionable about it,

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Speaker 1: and then and then we keep you know, we keep

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Speaker 1: this going for another two, three, four years, and then

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Speaker 1: we're ten years in and then you're like, eh, actually

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore. And now it's like, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: I invested a lot of time in this aspiration that

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Speaker 1: is not coming to fruition. And you might say, well,

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Speaker 1: then good, I'm glad it didn't because it wasn't supposed to.

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Speaker 1: But that's still a lot of time to spend on something.

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Speaker 4: So I mean, or she can meet her husband tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what would you do if she met someone else

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Speaker 1: and said, Hey, this guy's more serious than you are.

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Speaker 2: How would that make you feel? That'd be heartbreaking.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I'd be very emotionable and it'd be heartbreaking. And

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Speaker 8: I don't think we've ever had commitment issues, like we're

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Speaker 8: both like, you know, we both know how committed we

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Speaker 8: are to each other, and you know how serious we

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Speaker 8: are about each other. It's just it's just like the

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Speaker 8: marriage part itself, like I'm not ready for. It's not

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Speaker 8: the relationship that makes me not ready. It's like I said,

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Speaker 8: it's more like just like the timing and the wedding

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Speaker 8: and the I don't know all that kind of stuff,

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Speaker 8: like I'm just not ready for.

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Speaker 2: Well, if you're not ready, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: But I think at some point if you don't get ready,

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Speaker 1: and this isn't the threat, but I think at some

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Speaker 1: point if you don't get ready, then you might expect

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Speaker 1: that she'll find someone who is. And again, don't do

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Speaker 1: anything that you don't feel comfortable doing, because that's I

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Speaker 1: think where bad things start to happen. But if you're

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Speaker 1: not compelled to do it within five, six, seven years,

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Speaker 1: I mean, then I don't know. But then again, you

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Speaker 1: got Jason over here fourteen years. Yeah, and I don't know,

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Speaker 1: maybe it happens now, maybe maybe you feel like it's

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Speaker 1: beginning to happen, or it's more a realm of possible,

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Speaker 1: in the realm of possibility than it was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a lost cause. But I also

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Speaker 2: never mind I was being optimistic. I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I never like actually expressed like, hey, this is really

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Speaker 5: important to me. I want to do it because I

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Speaker 5: don't feel that way. It would be nice if it did,

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Speaker 5: but it's not a deal breaker for me. It sounds

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Speaker 5: like for her it might be yea and our kids

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Speaker 5: a factor here? Do you guys want both one kids?

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Speaker 7: Again?

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Speaker 8: Like, if the situations right, we're kind of always the

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Speaker 8: situation right, It's not like I don't know, it's a

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Speaker 8: lot of in this world.

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Speaker 2: Six years. I mean, the situation seems we're six years right.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I.

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Speaker 9: Don't want to have a kid if I can't feed it,

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Speaker 9: you know, like you like, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: He's you know, I don't know if the money for

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Speaker 3: a wedding, you just got to play it exactly together.

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Speaker 4: Money around, that's.

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Speaker 1: What he takes some phone calls Scott and I, look,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you and thanks you being a good support

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Speaker 1: about this, and have the radio and we'll see what

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Speaker 1: people have to say.

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Speaker 2: Have a good day, all right.

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Speaker 8: Thanks.

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Speaker 2: I'm really torn on this.

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Speaker 1: I'm really inturn on this because I don't want people

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Speaker 1: to do anything that I ready to do. And I

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Speaker 1: am a proponent of situations where people can be together

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Speaker 1: forever and not necessarily get married legally or in a

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Speaker 1: church or whatever, and live very happy lives. You know,

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Speaker 1: people think, well, if I get married, he won't cheat

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Speaker 1: or she won't. No, they will try it. Let me

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Speaker 1: assure you, yes, let me assure you that doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: to stop anybody off.

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Speaker 2: But it's just like, how about just be happy? Right?

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Speaker 1: But if here's where here's where I'm on the other

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Speaker 1: side of this. If your goals differ, you know, and

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Speaker 1: your level of comfort and priorities differ, how long do

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Speaker 1: you live in that sort of middle ground? I mean, Kiki, realistically,

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Speaker 1: and it's easy for you to say now because you're engaged,

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Speaker 1: but realistically, how much longer were you going to give

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Speaker 1: big tim because you want to be married?

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Speaker 4: Right until I met my husband, Like I was that

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Speaker 4: serious about that?

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Speaker 2: You were not? You were not really looking for all

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00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: people stop it right now. You we just gets to live.

441
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 4: This is not a skit or a lie.

442
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 3: If you are in a relationship with a good woman

443
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,920
Speaker 3: and you all have built something together, and she has

444
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 3: been clear about her desires to be married if you can,

445
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 3: if you are not making attempts to prepare yourself for that,

446
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,719
Speaker 3: you are in the way of her husband. And so

447
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 3: I was very clear to Big Tim about I love you,

448
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 3: where we are great friends, we have a great relationship.

449
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 3: I want to be married, okay, And if you are

450
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 3: going to prepare yourself to do that, then I am

451
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 3: actively out here letting the world know that I'm single.

452
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 3: I mean a man that is serious about his goals

453
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 3: and can get it together, then we may be in trouble.

454
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 4: He got serious that.

455
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 1: I watched many, many, many, many men try we all have,

456
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,159
Speaker 1: and you didn't give any of them the time of day.

457
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 4: Right because I was in love with Tim.

458
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 2: And so you weren't really looking to replace him.

459
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 3: I made that clear to him, because that is what's

460
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 3: that's gonna happen. I'm gonna sit there for twenty five

461
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 3: years and still be talking about I'm single.

462
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 6: I feel like men also know, and I'm no man,

463
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 6: but I know I'm not a man.

464
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 4: I have the man right now, A couple a couple of.

465
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 2: Men, yes, pull up a share. I like to hear

466
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 2: more about this. I would talk to you really quick.

467
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 6: I think men know that they want to marry a woman,

468
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 6: like right away.

469
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:11,959
Speaker 4: I've heard this.

470
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 2: I know you because you have.

471
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,960
Speaker 6: I don't think met the woman you're like, I want

472
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 6: to be with her like I hadn't.

473
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 2: And I was very wrong. So well, exactually be honest

474
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 2: with you.

475
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 1: The ones where I think I really want to be

476
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 1: with you, I should probably just go the other way.

477
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: I should do the opposite of what my brain tells

478
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 1: me to do.

479
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 6: I hear you, But I do feel like men know

480
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 6: instantly if they want to block this in. I mean,

481
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 6: I call me crazy, but I do feel like, if

482
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 6: you're gonna make it happen, you're making it happen.

483
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 2: The six year thing, like you're just wasting all of

484
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 2: our time.

485
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 4: Now I see that I'm really in the middle of this.

486
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 1: Because if it takes ten years and you guys, everyone

487
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 1: gets there and then it's this wonderful thing and it

488
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,479
Speaker 1: lasts forever, then that's all good. If it takes ten

489
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 1: years and it dissolves and it's not you don't. It's

490
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: just not that cut and dry and this whole thing

491
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: where the moment I saw her, I knew, not the moment,

492
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 1: it's not quite not for everybody.

493
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 6: Three months, okay, I think in three months, Like if

494
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 6: I call Shane right now, he will tell me, I'm Shane.

495
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 2: He wanted to marry her before.

496
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 6: He loves Haylor and he's had all the relationships.

497
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 4: And I, Garrius, you not feel.

498
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 2: Using Shane is an example, does not have an.

499
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 6: He loves her, and I'm trying to point that out.

500
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 4: I guaran see you.

501
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 6: He did not feel that way about other girlfriends, and

502
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 6: the way he feels about you, I can promise you that,

503
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 6: and it shows and his his actions and who he

504
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 6: is as a man, like he would marry you yesterday,

505
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 6: you know, and because he knew Okay.

506
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 2: Serena, yes hi Hi.

507
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 1: So this dude not's a mask over the fact that

508
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift is putting pressure on his six year relationship.

509
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 2: But that's what's happening.

510
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 1: And now all of a sudden, he knew his girlfriend

511
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: wanted to get married after six years they've been together.

512
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,440
Speaker 1: But now it's like, wait a minute, they did it.

513
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 1: So now where are we at with this? And it

514
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 1: seems like it's intensifying. Now, what does one do in

515
00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: this situation?

516
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 10: Well, I know my husband's listening because he listens to

517
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 10: every morning. And I gave him an ultimatum.

518
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 7: I said, we've been together eight years, we.

519
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 6: Have three kids, my last name, Okay, I want to

520
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 6: get married.

521
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 10: And he's like, well, marriage is just a piece of paper.

522
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 7: I said, I don't care.

523
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:20,719
Speaker 4: I want to get married.

524
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 10: You have a year to propose, and we get married

525
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 10: in our ten year anniversary.

526
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 7: That's exactly what we did.

527
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 4: Period.

528
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you've got kids in their life together and

529
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,359
Speaker 1: it's a little more substantial than just But.

530
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 2: I never like it, Serena different. I don't like an ultimatum.

531
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 1: I don't like it because I feel like, then, in

532
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 1: the back of your mind, it's like, would you ever

533
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: have done it if I hadn't just said you're doing it?

534
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 2: And I hope it works out. It looks sounds like.

535
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 1: It is and maybe he needed a little shove and again,

536
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: you guys have a life together and a lot to

537
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: speak for it.

538
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 2: But I hate an ultimatum in these situations. I hate it.

539
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 10: Yeah, I get it, but at the same time, I'm like,

540
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 10: I have already invested eight years and I'm not you know,

541
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 10: it's either now.

542
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 7: Or never, because I will find someone else.

543
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: And the case thing is important because and not that

544
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 1: you should definitely get married because you have kids you shouldn't,

545
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: but this guy's going to be a part of your

546
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 1: life forever anyway. So I understand why that is an

547
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 1: interesting dynamic. But I hate it when people are like,

548
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: you got one year, because even if that, how do

549
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: you even if that person intended to do it. I

550
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: feel like forever it would be like if I had

551
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: not said to you you have one year, then would

552
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: you have done it? And then that's in the back

553
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: of your mind And that's not fair to anybody. But hey,

554
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: I'm glad it worked out for you. And what's your

555
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 1: husband's name?

556
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 7: Irving?

557
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 2: Shout out to you, man, blink.

558
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: Twice if you're okay, Irving, have a good day. Yeah. Oh,

559
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: she's brilliant and she's hot. She listens to this show,

560
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: so she must be one of the smartest people that

561
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: was ever mind. Yeah right, oh my god, they both

562
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 1: how could she? She should have been begging him. He

563
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: listens to If you listen to this show. Then you're brilliant.

564
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: High Samantha, except the people who hate on us, but

565
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 1: you have a fine.

566
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,360
Speaker 2: Hi, Samantha, I get more. Hey, Sergo, what do you say?

567
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 2: Good morning?

568
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 8: Well?

569
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 10: I think it's interesting that this guy is calling in

570
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 10: to get a decision, because I really think it's a girl.

571
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 10: I think that she should go. And he may be

572
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 10: like a lovely man, but I do think he's wasting

573
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 10: her time. I think after six years, like other people

574
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 10: have said, you know, if you want to be with

575
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 10: somebody for marriage, and if he wants to stay with

576
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 10: somebody's long term without getting married, that's totally okay. And

577
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 10: also I have to add that I too, am a

578
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 10: huge swifty and I think that maybe she kind of

579
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 10: had an itch that was scratched when she saw Taylor

580
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 10: Swift get engaged because she's been as swifty and she

581
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 10: sees like, oh wow, love is real. Maybe this can

582
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 10: kind of no be my story too. I don't really

583
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 10: think that's unrealistic. It probably just showed her that, you know,

584
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,920
Speaker 10: I can have a love story like this too, even

585
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 10: if it's just getting engaged and being married.

586
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 4: And having kids.

587
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 1: Just go and buy her all seven CDs of Life

588
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: of a showgirl. Make sure they'll show up on a

589
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: day and that'll buy them another year. You know, she'll

590
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: be distracted listening to all seven CDs, even though they're

591
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: all the same. Samantha, thank you, have a good day.

592
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 10: Yeah.

593
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 1: And the kids thing is that it's a big factor.

594
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: Someone said she's wasting her good child bearing years on him.

595
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: I mean, again, not a reason to force a marriage,

596
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: but that's that's a real thing. You know, if you

597
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: want to be married to someone and have a family,

598
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: things get more complicated this time goes. I'm not impossible,

599
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of resentment there. I would think

600
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 1: if you invest all that time and then it doesn't happen,

601
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say threeish years. It's kind of that, Sorry, Jason.

602
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,959
Speaker 1: It's kind of that gray area. We're kind of transitioning into, like, Okay,

603
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: we've made a life together now after three years. Like

604
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: I've seen, we've probably traveled to this is this doesn't

605
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: ply to you at all. We've probably traveled together. Like

606
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: you know, I know if you're stinky, I know you know.

607
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 1: I have a good idea what I'm working with here.

608
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: We've had ups and downs, Like I think we're in

609
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 1: that kind of area. It's like, you know, that's what

610
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: we kind of got to say, this is a forever

611
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: thing or a long term thing or not not six

612
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,160
Speaker 1: months or And again this is me just generalizing because

613
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: Paulina over here thinks every guy just looks at the

614
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: woman and say.

615
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 4: Oh, you want tell me I'm wrong.

616
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 2: Though they are men know when.

617
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 6: They're somebody you not, No, don't let a man waste

618
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 6: your time.

619
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just leave it that.

620
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 2: I don't men say that.

621
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,239
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that simple. I really don't think

622
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: it's that simple. I think a lot of people have

623
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: said that to other people and they're divorced.

624
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 6: Okay, possibly, but I'm not saying you look at a

625
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 6: woman you're like, I'm gonna marry you tomorrow.

626
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 2: But I think if you just you just know, you're like.

627
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: I know people who have done that, Paulina, and they're

628
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 1: still together and they've been together for twenty years. I

629
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: know people who have done that and they're not together anymore.

630
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: I don't think that it's I simply don't think it's

631
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: that simple. There are men listening right now, going Nope,

632
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,479
Speaker 1: I was compelled, and there are men listening right now,

633
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: who are going I was compelled and now I'm paying glimony.

634
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 3: Well, marriage to the gamble. And some people just are

635
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 3: ready when they're ready. Some men just marry whatever is

636
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 3: in front of them when they're ready.

637
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: That that part too, can't have that. Hey, Jane, that's

638
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: a bad idea. Oh, Aser, Mike, Now I want to

639
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 1: talk to Mike that we'll get to James.

640
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 8: Mike.

641
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 2: Sorry, Mike, how you do it? Male perspective?

642
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 10: Go?

643
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 9: Yeah, what's up?

644
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 7: Guys?

645
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 8: So?

646
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 9: I mean, like my dad told me when I married

647
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 9: my wife back in twenty fifteen. We were engaged in

648
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 9: twenty fourteen. I was scared and he's like, yeah, he says,

649
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 9: you're the provider, you're the protector, you're the shield. Now

650
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 9: you've got to protect her and provide for her for

651
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 9: the rest of your life. I was like, I'm scared

652
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 9: to death and he's like good, and he says, can

653
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 9: you imagine her with someone else? I said no, if

654
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 9: she walked away from me, that would end my world.

655
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 9: And I said, he says, then she's the one for you.

656
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 7: So we married.

657
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 9: And listen, man, when you're married, listen the wedding and

658
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 9: all that stuff that doesn't make the marriage.

659
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 4: Man.

660
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 9: That's all for the parent and everybody else. That's all

661
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 9: for her, you know what I mean. That doesn't make

662
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 9: the marriage.

663
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 7: Man.

664
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 9: You know what, if you love her, if you ask

665
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 9: yourself this question for man to man, I'm talking to

666
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 9: the guy. If you can see her walking away from you,

667
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 9: she's not the one. It's as simple as that. So

668
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 9: you either do it. You know, she might not even

669
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 9: want a big way or a big ring. You know,

670
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 9: big ring. My wife didn't, but I still gave it

671
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 9: to her, you know what I mean. So you gotta

672
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 9: either crap or get off the pot, man, one or

673
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 9: the other.

674
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, I don't I think you're right.

675
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: I don't think it will ever not be scary.

676
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 2: So if he's waiting to be scared, then no.

677
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 9: Right, Okay, you married, you marry her, you have kids.

678
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 9: That's where the real scaries come in. Say, I know

679
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 9: Paulina knows exactly what I'm talking about, because when you're

680
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 9: a parent, you're constantly afraid.

681
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: I'm worried.

682
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: That's very true.

683
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good, Thank you, Thank you, Mike Kevin, good day.

684
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: Appreciate that good perspective.

685
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hello, was always cold. We do like you a lot,

686
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 2: all right, Jane, Hi Jane, Why am I wrong? Jane,

687
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 2: go right ahead.

688
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 4: Hi Fred.

689
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 7: I normally think your advice is really really great.

690
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes, it actually fine, it's fantastic.

691
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 7: But yeah, but I'm a mental health counselor, and it's

692
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 7: the kind of hear you're mixing up two different sets

693
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 7: of needs. There is a difference between a demand and

694
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 7: a saying of what your needs and wants and goals

695
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 7: are in the world and that this is what's appropriate

696
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 7: for me. And so my Kiki had said, this is

697
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 7: my life goal, this is why I'm dating this way.

698
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 7: So I'm just putting in my cards on the table.

699
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 2: So there you go.

700
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: But Jane, I don't I don't think we're saying the

701
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 1: same thing.

702
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 7: But your trauma no no, no, no trauma history with Jane.

703
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: What an ultimatum is inherently a demand? Yes, it is

704
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: an ultimatum by definition, is.

705
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 7: Saying between there's a difference between saying this is my

706
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 7: life goal and this is not, you know, ultimatum, it's

707
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 7: it's it's not really an ultimatum. It's saying that.

708
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 2: But we're saying the same thing.

709
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 1: If I come to you, Jane and say, here are

710
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: the things that are important to me.

711
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: That's I agree with you.

712
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: That is different than me coming and saying if you

713
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: don't marry me by the end of the year, I'm gone.

714
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: Those are two different things because one's a threat and

715
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: the other is an expression.

716
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 7: But the thing is, it's we're not talking about We're

717
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 7: talking about a major life goal and a major life situation,

718
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 7: and you're giving somebody time to make a decision.

719
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: But you're not in an ultimatum. In an ultimatum, you're

720
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: saying it's this or that if I express my needs

721
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: and you don't.

722
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 7: It's a mixing of I think it's a mixing of

723
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 7: interpretations of what is being said and how it's being said.

724
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 7: But it is extremely important in a dating situation to

725
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 7: say this is my need, this is my why, I

726
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 7: agree with you, why I am dating I think I

727
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 7: agree with you. It's really going on here.

728
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, this guy's not being given an ultimatum. No, no, no.

729
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 1: An ultimatum is separate from this. He's this isn't a

730
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: conversation they're having. I'm saying I don't like an ultimatum.

731
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: I don't like an ultimatum in any situation. And you

732
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: hear about it sometimes, like the woman who called earlier

733
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: and said, if you don't marry me by the end

734
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: of the year, I'm gone.

735
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 2: I don't like that. That's pressure. That's how it's a man, though.

736
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 4: I think that's a choice. You're giving the choice.

737
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 7: Are you in it?

738
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 4: Are you out?

739
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 7: Like exactly?

740
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: That's not why I just say, hey, look, I would

741
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: like to be married to you. I need to be

742
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: married to you soon, you know, or I need to

743
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's just if you don't or else.

744
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 7: Nobody it's articulated. Nobody is in an articulate It is you, Fred,

745
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 7: You're like one of the most articulate people in the world.

746
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 7: Jos say it average. The average people will not say

747
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 7: it that way. Yeah, well, I say the other way.

748
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: And I respect your perspective as a mental health cancer.

749
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: It's just a threat. For me, the threat is dangerous

750
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: and I don't like it, and I don't think it's

751
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: the right way.

752
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: Because I feel you're.

753
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 7: Threat I am.

754
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: I wants to be written in any context though nobody

755
00:30:59,400 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: wants to be threat.

756
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 4: Why you got to tell him it's not a threat,

757
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 4: it's a promise. Act together.

758
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: Jane, I appreciate you, Thank you for calling. I have

759
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: a good day. No I hear what she's saying. May

760
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: I just don't want I don't want to be confused.

761
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: Absolutely express what's important to you