WEBVTT - Become a confident conversationalist

0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:07.400
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:14.320
<v Speaker 2>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:21.239
<v Speaker 2>Today's tip is to become a confident conversationalist. If you

0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:25.759
<v Speaker 2>feel shy or awkward striking up conversations or chatting with colleagues,

0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.560
<v Speaker 2>let this be the year when you build your skills

0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:35.159
<v Speaker 2>so you can feel great about your interactions. During my

0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.440
<v Speaker 2>recent Better Workday challenge, lots of participants mentioned that they

0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:44.680
<v Speaker 2>sometimes felt uncomfortable striking up conversations with their colleagues. It

0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:48.960
<v Speaker 2>felt easier to just keep their heads down and communicate electronically.

0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:52.840
<v Speaker 2>So if you feel a little self conscious about chitchat,

0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.440
<v Speaker 2>know that you are not alone. But if you are

0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:00.920
<v Speaker 2>not developing relationships with people at work, I'd be missing out.

0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Connecting with your colleagues can make you more effective at

0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:07.480
<v Speaker 2>your job, and it can also help you feel happier

0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:11.400
<v Speaker 2>and more comfortable at work. So if you are feeling

0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:16.640
<v Speaker 2>uncomfortable or shy about connecting, here are some tips. First,

0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:23.760
<v Speaker 2>friendly questions are conversational openers. Asking someone something that invites

0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:29.000
<v Speaker 2>authentic sharing but isn't invasive is likely to start a

0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:36.200
<v Speaker 2>positive conversation, So always have some light questions ready. For instance,

0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:38.240
<v Speaker 2>on a Friday, you could ask people what they are

0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.840
<v Speaker 2>looking forward to over the weekend. On Monday, you could

0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.720
<v Speaker 2>ask if they did anything exciting or fun or memorable.

0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:49.120
<v Speaker 2>On any day, you could ask someone about their interests.

0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.520
<v Speaker 2>If you know your colleague likes to read, you could

0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.320
<v Speaker 2>ask her what she's reading now. If you know a

0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:57.480
<v Speaker 2>colleague likes to go out to restaurants with her daughter,

0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:01.360
<v Speaker 2>you could ask what they've tried recently. There's a reason

0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:05.560
<v Speaker 2>people bond over sports. There are lots of games, and

0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:09.720
<v Speaker 2>they always provide an opening for conversation. Did you see

0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:10.960
<v Speaker 2>the Grizzlies game last night?

0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:15.400
<v Speaker 1>That sort of thing. Of course, it's also helpful to

0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:18.680
<v Speaker 1>have something ready to share. If someone asks you what

0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:22.359
<v Speaker 1>you've been up to lately, aim to choose something positive,

0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:25.799
<v Speaker 1>even if you have been dealing with an insurance claim

0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.720
<v Speaker 1>for a tree that fell on your roof. Talking about

0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.520
<v Speaker 1>that probably won't lift either of your moods, though, if

0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.799
<v Speaker 1>you've got a funny anecdote about the process, you could

0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:40.040
<v Speaker 1>tell that. In addition to choosing a topic that's upbeat,

0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.320
<v Speaker 1>also aim for something that gives a window into what's

0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:47.240
<v Speaker 1>important to you, as in, I've been loving this mild

0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:51.480
<v Speaker 1>weather and I've gotten back into cycling lately. Or I'm

0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.520
<v Speaker 1>helping my neighbor get ready for her new baby. Last

0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:57.840
<v Speaker 1>weekend i helped her paint the nursery, or I've been

0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.000
<v Speaker 1>learning Spanish lately to get ready for a trip to

0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:03.760
<v Speaker 1>Buenos Aires this spring. This will give any colleague with

0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:08.400
<v Speaker 1>reasonable social skills an opening to ask you more about

0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:12.880
<v Speaker 1>these topics. As you both share what you are excited about,

0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:18.000
<v Speaker 1>you'll be sure to find common ground. In addition to

0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:21.680
<v Speaker 1>in person chitchat, also try to build in connection when

0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:25.800
<v Speaker 1>you're communicating across distance. One option could be sending a

0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.280
<v Speaker 1>message on za zoom call to a person who you

0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:32.280
<v Speaker 1>feel has a little bit of friend potential just notice things.

0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:35.840
<v Speaker 1>You could write something like I love that painting behind you.

0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:39.760
<v Speaker 1>Is there a story behind it? It can also be

0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.960
<v Speaker 1>good to include a sentence in emails that's more personal

0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:45.560
<v Speaker 1>before you get to the main business of the message,

0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.800
<v Speaker 1>so something like I hope you enjoyed the long weekend.

0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:51.720
<v Speaker 1>I was grateful for the extra time to plan my

0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.960
<v Speaker 1>garden this spring. You don't want to make your email

0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:59.840
<v Speaker 1>ridiculously long, but offering a little tidbit about yourself can

0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:05.520
<v Speaker 1>foster a greater sense of connection. If connecting with colleagues

0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:09.360
<v Speaker 1>still seems intimidating, you could seek out more structure and

0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:13.440
<v Speaker 1>guidance for your efforts to become a good conversationalist. Some

0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.960
<v Speaker 1>people find it helpful to participate in toast Masters or

0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:20.200
<v Speaker 1>a similar group that's all about building and practicing or

0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:24.599
<v Speaker 1>speaking skills in a friendly environment. In any case, since

0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:26.920
<v Speaker 1>we all have to talk to people all the time,

0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.240
<v Speaker 1>you'd think we could do it well, but that is

0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:34.799
<v Speaker 1>not always true. Conversation is a skill like anything else.

0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:39.200
<v Speaker 1>Some people are naturally better at it than others, but

0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.680
<v Speaker 1>we can all get better, and getting better can make

0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:49.120
<v Speaker 1>work feel more welcoming and fun. In the meantime, this

0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:53.120
<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

0:04:53.160 --> 0:05:03.200
<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:07.520
<v Speaker 1>If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach

0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:17.240
<v Speaker 1>me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:21.560
<v Speaker 1>is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,

0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.680
<v Speaker 1>please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:26.960
<v Speaker 1>listen to your favorite shows.