Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central, the Neo hes to Do?
Speaker 1: Would you Hate Him? To The Hay Show. I am
Speaker 1: Chelsea Hammer and this is it. It's my last night
Speaker 1: behind the desk. I hope you enjoyed this week as
Speaker 1: much as I did. But if you didn't, feel free
Speaker 1: to tweet me. My handle is at Ellen degenerous. We
Speaker 1: have another excellent show for you today. Because if you
Speaker 1: didn't know this already, Thursdays are the best days. They're
Speaker 1: like Fridays for people who work four day weeks. So
Speaker 1: let's get into the headlines. H I wanted to kick
Speaker 1: things off with a heartwarming story tonight. As a woman,
Speaker 1: it's always nice to see a father spending real quality
Speaker 1: time with their daughter, especially when they are such a
Speaker 1: busy career man. Him Jong Borne dictator and family man,
Speaker 1: brought his daughter and wife to the military parade, which
Speaker 1: featured more intercontinental ballistic missiles than ever before. Believed to
Speaker 1: be called Jewey, maybe nine or ten years old. This
Speaker 1: is the fifth public event for Kim's daughter since November,
Speaker 1: the only one of his children to be shown in public,
Speaker 1: fueling speculation he may be grooming her for succession at
Speaker 1: elementary school age she already outranks are room full of
Speaker 1: senior military officers. I didn't know that Kim Jong had
Speaker 1: a daughter, and judging from this photo, it looks like
Speaker 1: he's got another Their butt in the oven. Yes, this
Speaker 1: girl is speculated to become Kim's successor. Who would have
Speaker 1: ever thought that North Korea would have a female leader
Speaker 1: before America? And she's a minority. I have to say,
Speaker 1: I am so sick of these NEPO babies. First we
Speaker 1: have Lily Rose Depp, and then Willow Smith and now
Speaker 1: this girl. Whatever happened to becoming a nuke wielding tyrant
Speaker 1: on merit? You don't how many girls are out there
Speaker 1: working hard, learning how to fire missiles and starve an
Speaker 1: entire population who will never have an opportunity to lead
Speaker 1: a regime. Also, to all the men out there who
Speaker 1: think fedoras are cute, I want you to know that
Speaker 1: this is what you look like. It is not a
Speaker 1: good look, especially when you're like a giant cabbage patch kid.
Speaker 1: Let's move on to the man who invented cabbage patch kids,
Speaker 1: George Santos. Earlier this week, he was roasted at the
Speaker 1: State of the Union by Utah senator and Silver Fox
Speaker 1: Mitt Romney, and apparently Georgie didn't appreciate it. Meanwhile, Santos
Speaker 1: is firing back and Senator Mitt Romney after they clashed
Speaker 1: at the State of the Union. Romney said Santos should
Speaker 1: be embarrassed and should have sat in the back and
Speaker 1: stayed quiet. It's not the first time in history that
Speaker 1: I've been told to shut up and go to the
Speaker 1: back of the room, especially by people who come from
Speaker 1: a privileged background. And I think it's reprehensible that the
Speaker 1: Senator would say such a thing to me in the
Speaker 1: demeaning way. He said. It wasn't very Mormon of him.
Speaker 1: That's what I can tell you. First of all, you
Speaker 1: can't complain about people coming from a privileged background when
Speaker 1: you dressed like young Sheldon, you're saying that was a
Speaker 1: very Mormon mint Rob me is so Mormon that whatever
Speaker 1: he does is the Mormon thing to do. He is
Speaker 1: the King of the Mormons. All Mormons are mad at
Speaker 1: you right now. And as a Jewish person, I'm going
Speaker 1: to take take a leap of faith and speak on
Speaker 1: behalf of all Jews and say we're mad at you two.
Speaker 1: Even the Dolly Lama is like, oh, this motherfucker. I
Speaker 1: like how he says it's not the first time he's
Speaker 1: been told to go to the back of the room.
Speaker 1: It sounded like he was about to say African Americans
Speaker 1: like me were told to go to the back for years,
Speaker 1: but we said no. At the same time, though, George
Speaker 1: Santos is an absolute bitch and I love it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna miss him. I'm gonna miss him when he's in
Speaker 1: prison in two months. Let's move on to the latest
Speaker 1: way that dumb people are spending their lives. People will
Speaker 1: do just about anything for clicks on social media. But
Speaker 1: this is really stupid. Jumping from the highest point pause
Speaker 1: well and intentionally landing in the water with a belly flop.
Speaker 1: It's a stunt so terrifying they're calling it death diving.
Speaker 1: It's extreme belly flopping, and out does it hurt. The
Speaker 1: higher the jump, the more the clicks. This guy is
Speaker 1: jumping off a roof into a pool belly first. This
Speaker 1: video alone has nearly forty four million views watches. She
Speaker 1: throws yourself off of a platform one feet in the air.
Speaker 1: Experts say, definitely don't do it. There's potential for a
Speaker 1: lot of injuries. They can boo crack a rib their
Speaker 1: their internal organs can separate. This trend was brought to
Speaker 1: you by white cloth, the preferred drink for white people
Speaker 1: who want to do stupid ship. And by the way,
Speaker 1: I don't want to nitpick the way people are trying
Speaker 1: to kill themselves. But it's not really a belly flop
Speaker 1: unless you spread your arms out like this. I see
Speaker 1: you guys tucking in at the last second. Do you
Speaker 1: want to separate your internal organs or don't you? I
Speaker 1: love I love how experts say definitely don't do it
Speaker 1: yet no ship sherlock. And by the way, you guys
Speaker 1: don't have to push things this far to go viral.
Speaker 1: You can just ski down a mountain topless like I do.
Speaker 1: I got set it less. On the other hand, if
Speaker 1: all the young, hot blonde women wanted belly flopped to
Speaker 1: their deaths, have fun because it's less competition for me.
Speaker 1: And finally, let's move on to our big international story
Speaker 1: for the week, the impending Cold War between Joe Biden
Speaker 1: and ge and China. The massive recovery effort now under
Speaker 1: way unmanned underwater vehicles seeking out wreckage from the balloon's
Speaker 1: huge technology bay. This size of three busses. Those vehicles
Speaker 1: also searching for possible explosives. A senior US official tells
Speaker 1: me the balloon had a self destruct capability. As the
Speaker 1: US collects debris and with it information, China today declaring
Speaker 1: the airship does not belong to the United States but
Speaker 1: to China. The Biden administration making it clear they're not
Speaker 1: getting it back. Huge, China, you set the balloon over
Speaker 1: here to spy on us. We found it and now
Speaker 1: it's ours. You don't get to de man that we
Speaker 1: return it, just like the guy who attacked Nancy Pelosi's
Speaker 1: husband doesn't get his hammer back. And I don't know
Speaker 1: about you guys, but I'm not scared about the supposed
Speaker 1: explosive self destructing capability on a balloon. All balloons have
Speaker 1: a self destructing capability. It's called its deflating. Also, it
Speaker 1: doesn't belong to us. I'm sorry, China, but that's confusing. Okay.
Speaker 1: Usually when you release things, it's for the entire world
Speaker 1: to enjoy. Like COVID for more on the balloon clean up.
Speaker 1: We go now to Michael Costa at the seat of
Speaker 1: the records. What's going on, Michael Jelsea, I'm here in
Speaker 1: the debris field, which is seven miles wide, and it
Speaker 1: just keeps expanding. One thing experts have learned during this
Speaker 1: cleanup is that water moves. So how is the recovery going?
Speaker 1: Not great? You know, it's hard to distinguish the spy
Speaker 1: balloon debris from debris like this that just seems to
Speaker 1: always be in the ocean. It's sad, but there's absolutely
Speaker 1: nothing we can do about it. Well, is there any
Speaker 1: way that we would ever have to give any piece
Speaker 1: of the balloon back to China? How dare you? Chelsea? Okay?
Speaker 1: America has full rights to the balloon under the historic
Speaker 1: doctrine of finders keepers, which of course was later amended
Speaker 1: to include losers weepers. However, under you and law, if
Speaker 1: America failed to declare no backseas, China can called dibbs,
Speaker 1: provided that before they launched the balloon they licked it. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you for your legal expertise, Michael. One last question.
Speaker 1: How much longer will the recovery take? It might be
Speaker 1: a while. I mean, the search is being hampered by
Speaker 1: all the TikTokers who are death diving into this debris field,
Speaker 1: and the Navy is doing goddamn it, my guys, I'm
Speaker 1: doing a report. You know, he really pisses me off, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: If they're not even belly flopping, they're tucking in at
Speaker 1: the last second. That's what I was saying. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like they don't even want to separate their internal organs.
Speaker 1: God damn it, Oh my god. Look what I found?
Speaker 1: I think I found a piece of the balloon. Hey,
Speaker 1: navy guys, is this something? Be careful, Michael. That might
Speaker 1: be the self destructing part of the balloon. They were
Speaker 1: talking about the self destructing part of the what Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he'll be okay, Michael cost say, everyone my
Speaker 1: favorite comedians got to talk more about the back to
Speaker 1: the Daily Show. There are more stories out there to
Speaker 1: talk of out and to help me talk through them,
Speaker 1: I've brought in some friends. Uh please welcome Otsko Okotska,
Speaker 1: Rosebud Baker, and Bob the Drag Queen. Okay, Hi, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: Hi Otsko. How are you talk stories? Well, we have
Speaker 1: some stories. We have one of the Kardashians, Courtney, who's
Speaker 1: the most um, I guess untouched one. I would say, right,
Speaker 1: Courtney is coming out with a vaginal gummy so you
Speaker 1: take the I'm confused about whether you put the gummy
Speaker 1: in your mouth or straight directly into your Pikachu. But
Speaker 1: it's supposed to improve the smell and taste of your Pikachu.
Speaker 1: And then it tastes like pineapple. So that's I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's even possible to put a gummy. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even want that flavor. I wouldn't want like arctic blast,
Speaker 1: you know fresh. It's gonna surprise some people's issue. What
Speaker 1: if you like the original taste? Is that if a
Speaker 1: gummy that makes sure tastes like pineapples, I want a
Speaker 1: seasoning that makes my salad taste like I know, I'm
Speaker 1: sick of products like this. I'm just like, just hold
Speaker 1: your nose and go down on me. Also first, just
Speaker 1: a regular shower will do it most of the time.
Speaker 1: What I mean, you get fancy with this, and I
Speaker 1: think I'm the only one that's like, I need this, Okay,
Speaker 1: hold on. Also, they know this makes it taste better.
Speaker 1: For can you imagine there was a taste tester, there
Speaker 1: was a person out their company be like, no more invitament.
Speaker 1: See you know what I mean? Nice work if you
Speaker 1: can get it. I mean the line outside for that
Speaker 1: job is like, let me tell you that long. You
Speaker 1: have to check back in and she's one day married,
Speaker 1: Like Travis Scott with the check or Travis what's his
Speaker 1: name Barker, We had a check back in to find
Speaker 1: out if it works. In like six we see what
Speaker 1: he says about it. Yeah, yeah, Well he seems like
Speaker 1: he's so in love with her he doesn't care what
Speaker 1: kind of smell or taste is coming out of any orthic.
Speaker 1: Those two are like inside of each other. Every time
Speaker 1: you see them on you can come up with a
Speaker 1: Dave's Hot Chicken version. I really want to on the
Speaker 1: testing round, though I also already deduce. I already eat
Speaker 1: my yogurt with fruit, So this time, this whole time,
Speaker 1: I could have been doing it. On the other end,
Speaker 1: I've been doing it for free. Courtney Um Whitney Houston
Speaker 1: is releasing a new album. I'm confused by this. This
Speaker 1: keeps happening at two Pac did this. He started this trend,
Speaker 1: people releasing albums after they die. Beethoven's releasing something next
Speaker 1: week to yeah. I thought Abba was releasing because they
Speaker 1: were nominated for the Grammys past week, and I was like, ama,
Speaker 1: I thought they had crossed over as well. I didn't
Speaker 1: realize that they're still alive. And where you have media,
Speaker 1: there's somewhere an artist. I thought they had pasted on.
Speaker 1: So it's gospel. It's a gospel album with six previously
Speaker 1: unreleased songs, so it will be new material again, very surprising.
Speaker 1: It's called Go to the Rock, and I was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I was ready for her. Like Lesbian Pride album called
Speaker 1: Go to the Cubby Hole. One of the songs sounds
Speaker 1: like a Lesbian Pride song. One of the songs it's called,
Speaker 1: it's called hold On to Help is on the Way,
Speaker 1: which is the story about les Been helping a gay
Speaker 1: guy kill a spider. Go to the Rock is a
Speaker 1: great name for Like Hunter Biden's book, there was a
Speaker 1: Japanese in a Japanese zoo. They figured out that a
Speaker 1: female monkey got pregnant despite being separated from all the
Speaker 1: male monkeys. Um, so when they investigated this situation, they
Speaker 1: found hole in the wall. And so this is the
Speaker 1: first ever monkey glory hole. I guess, yeah. And now
Speaker 1: the couple is living together and they're going to raise
Speaker 1: the baby. When they have the baby, that's where they
Speaker 1: messed up. That's where they messed up, because I feel
Speaker 1: like she should be so lucky, Like we should all
Speaker 1: be so lucky. You know, most of us have to
Speaker 1: get pregnant watching a man. As soon as I heard
Speaker 1: someone monkey got pregnant in the room by itself, I
Speaker 1: was like, I promise you, Nick Cannon visited that zoo
Speaker 1: with anything with a uterus within a hundred square yards
Speaker 1: of Nick Cannon will get pregnant. I promise you. I
Speaker 1: had very unwatched pregnancy should be blamed on Nick Cannon, right,
Speaker 1: I think these monkeys sound fun like so in confinement
Speaker 1: they found a whole I mean, and I heard the
Speaker 1: other monkey was a different like kind of monkey to
Speaker 1: interracial monkey pracial love. Aren't we for it? Yeah, thank
Speaker 1: you guys for being here so much. Thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you, him you guys. When we come back and
Speaker 1: me in the show will be joining me on the show.
Speaker 1: I'll put away Wendo back to the Daily Show. My
Speaker 1: guest Tonight is an Emmy and Grammy nominated actor and
Speaker 1: singer in the Broadway revival of Funny Girl, which is
Speaker 1: breaking box office records, and the cast album landed at
Speaker 1: number one on the Billboard charts. Please welcome me a show.
Speaker 1: So I'm so happy for you. This is so cool
Speaker 1: and you're just nailing it. You're so good. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. I went I how many people here have
Speaker 1: seen Funny Girl? Okay, well not enough. You all need
Speaker 1: to see this play. I went to your play last night,
Speaker 1: and I have to say it was one of those
Speaker 1: classic Broadway experiences that I haven't had in a few years.
Speaker 1: You are incredible, and there are a lot of people
Speaker 1: who are famous, but you are really really talented. Because
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that. Yeah, I was hard work. Well
Speaker 1: obviously it's hard work, but it takes a lot of
Speaker 1: talent to even execute that. I mean, there's dancing, they're singing,
Speaker 1: You're funny, it's a comedy. I was so nervous because
Speaker 1: I I heard you might be there, and then I
Speaker 1: saw you, and I was like, anybody who's just like
Speaker 1: you know and so funny and so gifted in the
Speaker 1: way that you are Like you and Chris Rock are
Speaker 1: the two people I was the most nervous having in
Speaker 1: the audience. Oh well, that's sweet, I guess. I mean,
Speaker 1: I have to tell you. When I got out during intermission,
Speaker 1: I went to go get a diet coke, and and
Speaker 1: everyone was coming up to me, like every gay person
Speaker 1: in the theater was coming up to me to tell
Speaker 1: me how amazing. They're like, I love that, so like
Speaker 1: can you believe it? How amazing is she? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not her mother. Everyone send all of your comments
Speaker 1: and concerns and everything to Chelsea. She speaks for me. Now, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a d M me at Ellen degenerate a mid bit.
Speaker 1: So you came into this play while it was already
Speaker 1: up and running, So I have to know, like how
Speaker 1: long it took you to prepare for this and what
Speaker 1: what I mean the schedule must be. It's a it's
Speaker 1: an unbelievable schedule. And and anybody working, I mean anybody
Speaker 1: on Broadway is working so incredibly hard. It's eight shows
Speaker 1: a week. I do seven shows a week. Um, I
Speaker 1: had I think something like six weeks to learn everything.
Speaker 1: It's about fifteen songs, twenty two costume changes, something like
Speaker 1: seven to ten wig changes. It's it's a lot. And
Speaker 1: mid my rehearsal process. Um, I was told that I
Speaker 1: had to start sooner than I than I thought, and
Speaker 1: so it was a really intense experience. But I did
Speaker 1: feel as prepared as I could for my first night.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make all the quick changes happen
Speaker 1: and not walk on stage naked. That was like my
Speaker 1: biggest thing. Yeah. Yeah, It's just so much fun to watch.
Speaker 1: I was sitting there and I was with my niece
Speaker 1: on one side and a friend of mine on the
Speaker 1: other side, and I was just smiling so hard, like
Speaker 1: my cheek shirt, like I was on ecstasy or something,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, this is so
Speaker 1: joyous and everyone and you got so many standing ovations
Speaker 1: in the middle of your songs, like that's so beautiful
Speaker 1: to see for a performer, it's it's by far the
Speaker 1: most incredible experience I've had as performer on stage in
Speaker 1: a work environment. I'm having truly the time of my life.
Speaker 1: That's nice because last time I saw you, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen you in a few years. And the last time
Speaker 1: since I've seen you last you've got married and had
Speaker 1: a baby. Yes I know, I have a husband and
Speaker 1: a baby, and it does it's you know, leaving my son.
Speaker 1: He was just too when I started the show, and
Speaker 1: it's hard. It's hard for any parent going to work, um,
Speaker 1: but I literally went from being home every single day
Speaker 1: to then going to work and being at work all
Speaker 1: the time. And it's tough, but there is something also
Speaker 1: so amazing about coming home and like having that family
Speaker 1: life that I never had while I was working. It's
Speaker 1: grounding and I'm so grateful for it. Well that's great
Speaker 1: because I'll never know what that feeling. I mean, choice
Speaker 1: moved to, you know, we were talking about it, to
Speaker 1: the city. I've never lived in New York City. I'm here,
Speaker 1: is good, It is good. Maybe that's the teat you know,
Speaker 1: that's the so like, how has it changed because you've
Speaker 1: done so many Broadway plays when you were younger, right,
Speaker 1: I mean that's kind of how you got discovered. First.
Speaker 1: I did my first Broadway show when I was eight
Speaker 1: years old, totally unplanned. I just kind of walked into it.
Speaker 1: And then I continued working until I was twenty three,
Speaker 1: and then I left to go to l A and
Speaker 1: I did you know, Glee out there and other TV
Speaker 1: shows and never really planned on coming back to New York.
Speaker 1: And then it was the pandemic that brought us home
Speaker 1: because this is where our families are. And yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: back on Broadway after fifteen years and it's it's wild
Speaker 1: having been gone for so long and jumping back into
Speaker 1: this schedule. And you know, when you're doing television, you're
Speaker 1: doing new material every day. It's a new script, it's
Speaker 1: a new storyline. This is the same thing every day,
Speaker 1: and there's something as an artist that's really exciting about that.
Speaker 1: It's like, how do you make that new? And how
Speaker 1: do you how do you bring your own excitement to
Speaker 1: it every night? How do you? I mean, it's it
Speaker 1: really depends on how I'm feeling. I'll have a day
Speaker 1: where I'm in a really up the mood and I
Speaker 1: lean into the humor and that really is what gives
Speaker 1: me the energy. And then there are days when I
Speaker 1: need to kind of work some stuff out and and
Speaker 1: that's what I lean into, more of the the emotion
Speaker 1: and the drama. And what are you saying to yourself?
Speaker 1: Like what does a person say before you walk out
Speaker 1: into a theater like that big having to perform for
Speaker 1: that Dear God, please God, you should see me before
Speaker 1: the show. I'm like praying. I'm like, oh my God.
Speaker 1: But I also think like, if there is a show,
Speaker 1: can you say that? I don't see why not If
Speaker 1: there is a show, to mess up like this is
Speaker 1: the one, because it's like I feel so comfortable turning
Speaker 1: to the audience and just being like, well, here we go.
Speaker 1: That didn't work out. Let's try it again from the top.
Speaker 1: But it's it's there's nothing like there's nothing like live theater.
Speaker 1: And I love it so much, this honest dream come true.
Speaker 1: That so many people have known that I've really waited
Speaker 1: so long to play this part, and the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm doing it, it's I still every single night I'm like,
Speaker 1: I cannot believe I'm doing this and that people are
Speaker 1: enjoying it. And it's the most incredible cast of incredible,
Speaker 1: hard working actors and performers, and we really have fun
Speaker 1: in the midst of doing what is a very challenging
Speaker 1: job and making an album in the midst of also
Speaker 1: doing all of our shows and having it do so well.
Speaker 1: Is is just another great gift. Yeah, well, good for you.
Speaker 1: Everybody needs to go see Funny Girl. It's playing now
Speaker 1: on Broadway at the August Listen here, We're gonna be
Speaker 1: right back, and it's shop for tonight. It has been
Speaker 1: an absolute honor to be the first Jewish female host
Speaker 1: on the Daily Show, but now it is time for
Speaker 1: something a little different. Sarah Silverman will be here next week,
Speaker 1: and if you want to catch more of me, I
Speaker 1: have a new Netflix special called Revolution that is streaming
Speaker 1: now and I'm going on tour and coming to a
Speaker 1: city near you, so check the link below for dates.
Speaker 1: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 1: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcast What's
Speaker 1: the Daily Show weeknights and eleven tenth Central on Comedy
Speaker 1: Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fair Amount Plus.
Speaker 1: This has been a Comedy Central podcast