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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 1: two minute ad break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 3: My friend was furious with me at her wedding because

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Speaker 3: I dressed too nice.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I guess somebody's never played dress to impress.

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Speaker 3: Hello, longtime loriker, first time poster. Here, I twenty five female,

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Speaker 3: went to a friend's wedding a few months ago. The

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Speaker 3: friends are Matt twenty five mail and Susan twenty five female.

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Speaker 3: We're all part of a much larger friend group that

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Speaker 3: gets along pretty great. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 3: Throwaway four nine five nine four and if you want

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Speaker 3: to some of your own stories, go to our slash

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Speaker 3: Okay Storytime suffered it. So to preface, I have actually

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Speaker 3: never attended a wedding before in my life, and I

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Speaker 3: don't tend to dress up or put on makeup. Nothing

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Speaker 3: against it. It's just expensive and time consuming and I

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Speaker 3: work sixteen hour days in a uniform. I was really

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Speaker 3: excited when I got the invite, saved up and went

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Speaker 3: to a shop I know carries my size. I'm fairly tall.

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Speaker 3: The clerk was amazing and so helpful. You chose a

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Speaker 3: selection of dresses that would be wedding appropriate, that weren't

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Speaker 3: too close to what the bridal party would be wearing,

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Speaker 3: and we had a lot of fun trying things on

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Speaker 3: and he was hyping me up. One of the options

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Speaker 3: I just fell in love with was a beautiful, dark green,

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Speaker 3: silk bias cut dress think Cure Nightly in Atonement. Pretty

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Speaker 3: with that the sash and less of a flowing skirt.

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Speaker 3: We matched it with heels and I'd never felt prettier.

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Speaker 3: The dress was on sale, too, so that was a BLUs.

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Speaker 3: Wedding day comes and it's lovely. I'm so happy for

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Speaker 3: my friends. Susan ignores me, which is weird, but she's

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Speaker 3: busy prepping and the wedding is in full swing and

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Speaker 3: the reception is busy, so I don't think much of it.

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Speaker 3: Everything goes off without a hitch and they drive off

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Speaker 3: to their honeymoon. I suppose it's relevant, but I received

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Speaker 3: several compliments on my offit during the event. I didn't

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Speaker 3: think it's caused as and it wasn't anything particularly effusive

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Speaker 3: or over the top. I was doing the same to others,

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Speaker 3: so I didn't think it stood out. Everything concludes, we

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Speaker 3: all have a nice time. No one says anything until

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Speaker 3: tonight we all got together for a welcome back dinner

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Speaker 3: for Matt and Susan. During the dinner, Susan kept making

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Speaker 3: snipes at me about what I wore, just incredibly passive aggressive.

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Speaker 3: It was very clear she thought I overdress. I didn't

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Speaker 3: say anything at the time because I felt terrible. None

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Speaker 3: of my friends corrected or stopped her either, But looking

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Speaker 3: back on it, I feel wronged. She didn't give me

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Speaker 3: the benefit of the doubt, and I don't feel like

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Speaker 3: my dress was over the top. I do think I

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Speaker 3: likely look very different from how I normally dress and

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Speaker 3: present myself, so that might be it. I'm trying not

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Speaker 3: to go over the word limit, but I'm very open

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Speaker 3: to questions and elaborations if needed. So Reddit am I

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Speaker 3: the a whole and there are some comments and an update.

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Speaker 2: I think we need more information before we can actually determine. Well,

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Speaker 2: we got something sound like you are right now.

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Speaker 3: We got some comments, so maybe they'll they'll help. Commentary info.

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Speaker 3: Was there a stated dress code? Obi says the invite

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Speaker 3: said formal and I knew it was going to first

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Speaker 3: be in a church and that the reception would be

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Speaker 3: in a local hotel that looks like a castle and

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Speaker 3: is quite fancy, though I'd never been. Another commenter says,

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Speaker 3: not the ale. You're tall and you don't normally normally

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Speaker 3: girl up. If the bride felt like you were trying

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Speaker 3: to steal thunder, it's likely due to her own insecurities.

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Speaker 3: Your dress was appropriate for the event you were at.

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Speaker 3: It's just that you're probably were stunning and that may

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Speaker 3: have shocked people who never look at you that way.

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Speaker 3: Either way, not your problem. Obi says, I was deliberately

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Speaker 3: going for something very unadorned because she was wearing a

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Speaker 3: ball gown with flour and Ryanstone app the quay. I

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Speaker 3: think that's the term. Her dress is a lovely dress,

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Speaker 3: and the reception venue was perfect for it, effectively a

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Speaker 3: castle and Opie's dress. I actually haven't seen the movie,

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Speaker 3: so I don't know the intent. It was just the

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Speaker 3: closest match I could find while googling trying to find

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Speaker 3: the dress. I tried googling other dresses that look similar,

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Speaker 3: but most of them have a big thigh slit, which

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Speaker 3: mine doesn't. I just didn't know how common bias cut

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Speaker 3: is as a descriptor while also being accurate to my dress.

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Speaker 3: To another commenter, pretty similar to the Atoma dress, but

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Speaker 3: a bit less mid back rather than low back, which

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Speaker 3: is an unusual for dresses. To my understanding, also brought

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Speaker 3: a simple black little jacket to wear with it since

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Speaker 3: it was a winter wedding and we moved venues, but

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Speaker 3: didn't wear it the whole time. Understandable.

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Speaker 2: You know what, hot take You're an a hole for

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Speaker 2: just being so hot.

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Speaker 3: You're just too freaking hot.

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Speaker 2: Oh so hot. It makes you the bad guy automatically,

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Speaker 2: what say you? I mean, not the a hole. This

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Speaker 2: person's just insecure that you get caught.

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Speaker 3: Exactly as long as you weren't violating any of the

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Speaker 3: rules of the wedding, then they can't say anything.

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Speaker 2: You feel like you'd always want to be overdressed in a

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Speaker 2: wedding instead underdressed. Yeah right, I wouldn't know because I

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Speaker 2: don't wedding.

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Speaker 3: But there's more comments. Commenter says bias cut isn't much

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Speaker 3: of a description of a dress at all. It just

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Speaker 3: means the material has been cut at an angle. Opie says, Shoot,

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Speaker 3: then I don't even know if that's correct. That was

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Speaker 3: my conclusion after consulting Google trying to find the dress,

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Speaker 3: and then something close to it when that failed. Commor says,

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Speaker 3: the dress in Atonement is pretty attention seeking.

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Speaker 2: It it was.

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Speaker 3: Deliberately chosen in the movie and created a splash amongst viewers.

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Speaker 3: So I'd say, you're the able. The wedding wasn't your moment, What.

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Speaker 2: A dumb take.

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Speaker 3: Opie specifically stated that the back was like mid backs

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Speaker 3: and that's really the only thing that's crazy about that

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Speaker 3: dress good and I say crazy with quotes.

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Speaker 2: I just wonder how much hotter Opie is than the person.

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Speaker 2: OPI is hotter than the person getting married, and the

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Speaker 2: person getting married is sad about it.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, very fair. It wasn't my intent, but well

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Speaker 3: could have been the impression and results. Were other women

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Speaker 3: wearing cocktail dresses or gowns. Opie says about fifty to fifty.

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Speaker 3: I definitely wasn't the only one, but I'd say the

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Speaker 3: wedding was very male heavy, so five men per one woman.

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Speaker 3: I think woo. She had a huge bridal party, so

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Speaker 3: most of our mutual female friends were part of the

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Speaker 3: bridal party, so I'm not counting their long dresses or

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Speaker 3: not invited. Commeder says, I see a lot of American

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Speaker 3: women wear short dresses to formal weddings, which baffles me.

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Speaker 3: Formal to me means long dresses. Maybe that's why Opie

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Speaker 3: wasn't wearing a short dress.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not a show.

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Speaker 3: We never nothing, nothing was ever said about a short dress.

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Speaker 2: Why everyone's getting so wrapped up about this. But by

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Speaker 2: the way, it doesn't matter if she wore something that

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Speaker 2: makes your look really hot. I don't understand. It's a wedding,

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Speaker 2: you're supposed to look nice.

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Speaker 3: But if more women other than the bridesmaid wore long

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Speaker 3: dresses and she isn't mad at anyone else but you,

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Speaker 3: that's weird. I think this common is saying like, oh,

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Speaker 3: maybe she expected people to wear short dresses, which doesn't

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Speaker 3: make sense either. Opie says, she's not mad at anyone else. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that I'm aware of, But apparently some friends did talk

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Speaker 3: to her, so she's mad at them. Now, Okay, so

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Speaker 3: some people are on your side. Commedoer says, hmm, interesting

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Speaker 3: that it was a predominantly male attended event. Based on that,

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Speaker 3: plus the way she treated you. It sounds like Susan

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Speaker 3: is definitely not a girl's girl. Obie says, I think

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Speaker 3: that's a multi factor thing. Susan and Matt come from

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Speaker 3: big families with mainly brothers. She's not in contact with

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Speaker 3: her mother. Our friend group is largely male, and then

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Speaker 3: on top of that, some of her friends are attracted

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Speaker 3: to the same gender, so more men as a plus one.

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Speaker 3: I know she got into a fight with some of

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Speaker 3: the girls, so she uninvited them to the wedding, and

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Speaker 3: pretty much all the rest were bridesmaids. Well, I am

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Speaker 3: not the closest, but their personally, so I was just

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Speaker 3: happy to be there. To clarify the last bit, happy

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Speaker 3: to be there versus being in the bridal party. We're friends,

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Speaker 3: but not the closest as some of me and the

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Speaker 3: other girls. Slush guys are Commoner says Tbh. She went

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Speaker 3: to a dress place and add the employee recommend dresses.

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Speaker 3: Presumably a qualified employee helping you pick out a dress

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Speaker 3: would not have recommended a dress in which you could

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Speaker 3: upstage the bride or which would be over the top

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Speaker 3: for a wedding.

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Speaker 2: Guess exactly right that the dress itself is not egregiously.

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Speaker 3: I doubt the dress was a problem. I doubt the dress.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's that the person in the dress is hotter

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Speaker 2: than the bride.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, I did show them what the bride was wearing,

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Speaker 3: and that we had to avoid Red's bridal party color

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Speaker 3: so we wouldn't have anything remotely similar. He was honestly

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Speaker 3: a sweetheart, not in a pushy salesman way, but really

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Speaker 3: hyping up and helpful. Commeder says, exactly, you went to

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Speaker 3: someone qualified to suggest appropriate options and showed him what

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Speaker 3: the bridal party was wearing, and presumably told him the

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Speaker 3: dress code was formal. It is this person's job to

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Speaker 3: help people select appropriate wedding attire. And if he's at

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Speaker 3: all experienced, he knowed, he'd know that some brides can

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Speaker 3: get jealous and controlling. He would not have recommended a

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Speaker 3: bride upstaging dress. It seems to me like you did

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Speaker 3: the appropriate thing, and Opie says, yes, and honestly, the

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Speaker 3: height was an issue. A lot of the shorter dresses

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Speaker 3: are just too short on me and look indecent or

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Speaker 3: just weird, not lying where they should. And it's way

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Speaker 3: easier to hem something than make something longer, not that

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Speaker 3: this one needed hemming. You'd think it'd be the other

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Speaker 3: way around when shopping for dresses, but that hasn't been

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Speaker 3: in my experience. And yes, OMG was so kind and lovely,

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Speaker 3: and there is a date. I think either the friend

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Speaker 3: is just super jealous of you or the husband got

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Speaker 3: it into you and she's upset about it.

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Speaker 4: I think I think since there was a lot of

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Speaker 4: guys there and not a lot of women, a lot

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Speaker 4: of the guys were like dang, and the and then

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Speaker 4: the girls husbands or sitting of your dathers were like,

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Speaker 4: oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like dude. Husband definitely made a comment

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Speaker 2: that was like, oh she looks nice. I'm looking like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh try and looking like that.

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Speaker 3: But there is an update, so we're about to find

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Speaker 3: out what really happened. Crap hit the band. Turns out

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Speaker 3: the dress didn't matter at all. Instincts pretty much just

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Speaker 3: brought some old crap up. I guess bear with me

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Speaker 3: because I'm trying to piece things together and dealing slash

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Speaker 3: fenting some info I've gotten directly, some secondhand, not all

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Speaker 3: at the same time. Got some from texting friends, others

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Speaker 3: reached out, and I talked with Susan on the phone.

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Speaker 3: All right, so apparently this is relevant. I come from

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Speaker 3: a fairly situation, not the worst, but still not great.

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Speaker 3: Add on some religious trauma, and since a young age,

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Speaker 3: I've been pretty relationship averse and do not date casually

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Speaker 3: or hook up with folks, and I am a staunch atheist.

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Speaker 3: Believe what you want to believe. That's fine, but it's

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Speaker 3: not for me. Yeah, how does this apply? Well, Matt,

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Speaker 3: you might be getting a creeping suspicion at the root

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Speaker 3: of the issue about now is very Christian, not an

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Speaker 3: a hole about it. But he's been very clear that

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Speaker 3: that's the type of life he wants to live, and

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Speaker 3: he wants to be a pastor. So a full on

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Speaker 3: decade ago, he asked me to a school dance. I

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Speaker 3: freaking knew it, no way. We didn't know each other

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Speaker 3: very well. Yet I told him no because my parents

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Speaker 3: didn't let me get to those go to those. He

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Speaker 3: then asked to be a date, and I gently turn

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Speaker 3: him down because A again my parents wouldn't have allowed me,

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Speaker 3: and B I knew I didn't want to live a

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Speaker 3: religious life. I knew he was very religious. This was

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Speaker 3: a decade ago we didn't become friends or anything. Then

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Speaker 3: that came later because my best friends started to date

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Speaker 3: one of the guys in the group and our two

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Speaker 3: friends circles merged. He dated people in between then as well,

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Speaker 3: so like a little awkward, but rarely ever thought about it.

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Speaker 3: We were fifteen time passes. He starts dating Susan. Susan

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Speaker 3: and her friends joined the group. Everything's fine, we get along, okay,

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Speaker 3: not the closest but good. There's some trauma, but I'm

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Speaker 3: not usually in it, and honestly, I'm really busy with

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Speaker 3: union work then just work. But apparently Matt told Susan

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Speaker 3: that he had asked me out. No clue if he

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Speaker 3: told her when it was, and this did bother her.

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Speaker 3: I was oblivious, and yes, some of you were right.

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Speaker 3: She is insecure and she also has anxiety. Matt apparently

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Speaker 3: would get annoyed at her anxiousness when she called him crying,

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Speaker 3: and in the moment would be supportive, but then after

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Speaker 3: would compare her to me.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, I gotta say, I'm sorry. I hope this

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Speaker 2: has offend too many people. But having a secret, I

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Speaker 2: wish I was married to this girl who I asked

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Speaker 2: to a dance at fifteen and said no, but like

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Speaker 2: wanting her to see be secret wife. That is the

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Speaker 2: most pastor activity I've ever heard.

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Speaker 3: You never forget, forgot his child would love you. Gotta

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Speaker 3: forget it. You gotta move on, buddy, You got to

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Speaker 3: move on. Like, sorry, but I'm gonna be real with

254
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Speaker 3: you here. Getting followed by a creep on a train

255
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Speaker 3: is very different when you're six foot and take martial

256
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Speaker 3: arts versus five to one with anxiety, not fun either way,

257
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Speaker 3: scary all this time. But can you blame her for crying? Okay, Okay.

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Speaker 3: So he's saying, like she would call him crying and

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Speaker 3: being like this guy was following me, I'm like worried,

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Speaker 3: and he's like, oh, well, oh, he wouldn't be worried

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Speaker 3: about that, And so he's saying, well, like, when you're

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Speaker 3: six to one and no martial arts, it's different than

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Speaker 3: when you're five to one with anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're literally Ronda Rousey.

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Speaker 3: Not fun either way, scary all the time. But can

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Speaker 3: you blame her for crying? Sorry, I'm a little pissed. No,

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Speaker 3: I would not blame her for crying because that is

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Speaker 3: a scary situation and the fact that her partner was like, whoa.

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Speaker 2: Oh, prey, you wouldn't do this, Like what shut up?

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Speaker 2: You sucked, dude sucking.

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Speaker 3: So I'm guessing she built up some sort of resentment

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Speaker 3: towards me, but never told me. Again, I'm oblivious to

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Speaker 3: all this going on. The bid happens, he proposes they

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Speaker 3: wait a bit more for marriage. She invites people to

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Speaker 3: the wedding and does not want me to be a

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Speaker 3: part of the bridal party, which again, we're not the closest,

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Speaker 3: so I'm unfazed. Maybe a bit of sadness, but her

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Speaker 3: bridal party is large and with girls close to her,

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Speaker 3: so I don't mind. My best friend is aware of

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Speaker 3: some of the subtexts going on here because of her boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: the same guy I mentioned earlier, So she doesn't get

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Speaker 3: along well with Susan and has a fight unrelated around

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Speaker 3: this time. So Susan says she's not invited, and my

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Speaker 3: friend doesn't care. She's going to be abroad then. Anyways.

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Speaker 3: She also punts some girls from the bridal party because

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Speaker 3: they were apparently talking crap about the relationship. But I

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00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,960
Speaker 3: know very little about this all thirdhand. I mean, it

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00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,600
Speaker 3: makes sense if they're talking crap about the relationship if

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00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 3: he's acting this way because he sucks. So from what

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00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,679
Speaker 3: I can get from the conversation I had with Susan

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Speaker 3: is that she thinks me asking about what the bridal

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Speaker 3: party and she was wearing was a dig somehow, and

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Speaker 3: that I chose green deliberately so that I'd stand out

294
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Speaker 3: from the bridal party and her and her her dress

295
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 3: has red accents here and there in the opposite color. Again,

296
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Speaker 3: didn't ask me. This just came to that conclusion on

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Speaker 3: her own. She also is utterly convinced that I dressed

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Speaker 3: so nice because I wanted to tempt Matt, and I

299
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:43,920
Speaker 3: should have dressed more modestly. So I asked why this

300
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 3: was all coming up now, and why not talk to

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Speaker 3: me about it. I could have assured her that there

302
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,200
Speaker 3: was never anything between Matt and I and there never

303
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,680
Speaker 3: would be. This is where she tells me that during

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Speaker 3: their honeymoon, he tells her that he's having doubts and

305
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Speaker 3: feels like I was the one who got away.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, oh my, oh my.

307
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Speaker 5: God, the girl who didn't go to the dance with

308
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Speaker 5: you ten years ago when you were in high school.

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Speaker 3: That's embarrassing, dude, that's embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: That's beyond embarrassing, that's like disturbing.

311
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Speaker 3: That's shocking to me. You never even dated her. Anne

312
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 3: needs to pray over the relationship. They haven't separated her anything,

313
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Speaker 3: but things have been tense and bad. So when they

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Speaker 3: had that dinner and she saw me again, she was pissed.

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Speaker 3: She didn't say this directly, but I think it's pretty

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00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 3: easy to infer now. This didn't come up in the call,

317
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Speaker 3: but chronologically this happened shortly after I left the dinner.

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Speaker 3: Some of our friends texted her and then reached out

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Speaker 3: to me. Some talked to her directly. To the first

320
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Speaker 3: person she talked to directly, she started suit jamming me

321
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Speaker 3: pretty hard, but apparently in a way where she thought

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Speaker 3: they'd agree with her, and when she didn't, she got

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Speaker 3: pissed and has been really short with everyone after. It's

324
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Speaker 3: really crazy at this point. I try to assure Susan

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Speaker 3: that really nothing is there. I honestly have no clue

326
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 3: what Matt's on about, and she just loses it, starts

327
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Speaker 3: screaming and swearing at me through the phone and crying

328
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 3: and calling you really horrible things. I try to shut

329
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Speaker 3: this down, but she cannot hear me, she's shouting so much,

330
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Speaker 3: so I just hang up because wtf am I supposed

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Speaker 3: to do with that? I send her a text saying that, Hey,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry you're going through this. You don't deserve to

333
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 3: be treated this way, but I don't deserve this treatment

334
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 3: either of good. Whenever you're able to, I'd like to

335
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 3: have a respectful, face to face conversation. It shows red

336
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 3: but no answer. Honestly, you have to like no contact

337
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,840
Speaker 3: these people because they like, I mean, it sucks what

338
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,160
Speaker 3: he's doing to her, but she can't be doing this too.

339
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: There's a complete waste of time trying to salvage that situation,

340
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 2: like you not.

341
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:50,160
Speaker 3: Literally just existed and they're making their like their whole

342
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 3: marriage is crumbling around you, but you're like you, you're

343
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,000
Speaker 3: just existing.

344
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 2: Like the problem is this woman needs to no longer

345
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 2: be with with this man.

346
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Speaker 3: I have not contact Matt because honestly, I'm a little

347
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 3: freaked out and a lot pissed and don't have a

348
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 3: clue what to say and don't really want to be

349
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,680
Speaker 3: near him at the moment. But I want you, guys

350
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,040
Speaker 3: to be near full episodes with stories just like this.

351
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 3: Just go to Apple Podcast Spotify or your favorite podcast

352
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,000
Speaker 3: appen search up.

353
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 2: Okay, story time, it's really hard to be far away

354
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 2: from the stories when you can just pop in some

355
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 2: earbuds and then you have an essentially unlimited amount of

356
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Speaker 2: stories to search through it.

357
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Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story.

358
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 3: I don't think this is over. I might update again

359
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 3: when slash if more happens, because this was honestly really

360
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:40,360
Speaker 3: cathartic to write this all out Opie's comments, Commoner says

361
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 3: they should just annull the wedding and go their separate ways.

362
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,920
Speaker 3: Opie says, unfortunately, they passed the timeline where that where

363
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 3: they could by a small margin, so they'd have to

364
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,160
Speaker 3: separate for a year and then get divorced. I don't

365
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 3: know if they would, given that they're quite religious, and

366
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:58,119
Speaker 3: while their denomination doesn't disallow divorce, it's understandably quite against it,

367
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,160
Speaker 3: especially if he wants to be a past.

368
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 2: Why are we caring for one half of a second?

369
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 2: What are these people are going through a weather? Are

370
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,399
Speaker 2: they kicking or what their lives are like? Move on,

371
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 2: move beyond them.

372
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 3: That said, I one hundred percent agree. Commerce says, not

373
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 3: the ale when she's ready, definitely have that face to

374
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 3: face conversation and explain that you were fifteen when he

375
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 3: asked you out. You were never the one that got

376
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 3: away because you never dated and you were both teens. Also,

377
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 3: please explain that you asked about the colors to ensure

378
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 3: you wouldn't be matching the bridal party, which is a

379
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 3: common question us women ask about weddings. Reassure that you

380
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 3: were only friends at a later d eight after the

381
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,399
Speaker 3: teenage years, due to the friend groups overlapping, not because

382
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 3: you sought him out or he You explain if given

383
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 3: the chance everything you've explained here and in your prior post,

384
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: I definitely agree that you need to stay no contact

385
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,879
Speaker 3: with him, at least until they figured everything out. You

386
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 3: are definitely not causing the issue. It almost sounds like

387
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 3: to me that he was settling rather than finding that spark,

388
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 3: especially given what he said to her on their honeymoon.

389
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 3: Just you who says that to their new spouse. If

390
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 3: and when you have to face a face to face

391
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 3: with her, tell her that you've chosen to go no

392
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 3: contact with him, or at the very least low contact

393
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 3: with him, but only if it's in a group setting

394
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 3: and she's there. It sound like he has some issues

395
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 3: to work through. We all do at times, and that's okay.

396
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 3: But what isn't okay is him comparing his new bride

397
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 3: to other women. Again, this isn't your fault. You did

398
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,360
Speaker 3: nothing wrong, and Opie says, thanks for writing this out.

399
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 3: It was very thoughtful, a whole mess. It's left me

400
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 3: feeling gross, sad, creeped out, and sad for Susan. I'm

401
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 3: trying to figure out how long I should wait before

402
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 3: reaching out to Susan again, let alone if I really should, Like,

403
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 3: what the f can I do about this? Explanations are good,

404
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 3: but it doesn't fix the core situation at hand.

405
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 6: Ugh.

406
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,719
Speaker 3: Sorry, I hope this makes sense. The whole situation has

407
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 3: just got me exhausted and that is the end of

408
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 3: that story. Yeah, honestly, I think you should go no

409
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 3: contact or at least low contact with both of them.

410
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 3: It's like, why why would you even want to be

411
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: friends with these people?

412
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 2: They suck part of me feel I was like, this

413
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 2: story is probably more like just getting this out. Yeah,

414
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 2: unless of like, how do I help these people? Don't

415
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 2: like them? It's just like rant, you don't need to

416
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,719
Speaker 2: help them at all. Nope, and your life is going

417
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: to be better if you don't even see either without

418
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 2: their presence, specially given the fact that this unhinged man

419
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 2: believes that you were the one who got away.

420
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 3: He's crazy. I wouldn't want to talk to him ever again.

421
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 2: I liked he had so many good memories, like the

422
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 2: time I asked her to dance she said no, and

423
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 2: then I've pretty much played that on repeat for a decade.

424
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 3: I never forgot about that moment she looked me in

425
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 3: the eyes and said no, and I was like, Wow,

426
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:36,920
Speaker 3: I'm in love.

427
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 2: That's when I was like, I knew it was forever

428
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 2: in that moment. I knew it was forever as soon

429
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 2: as she said I don't want anything to do with you.

430
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 2: I'm struggling with my friend's breakup because I can't choose

431
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 2: a side. Choose a side. I don't think I've done this,

432
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 2: but the offended party thinks that's the case. All names

433
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 2: are changed. I hosted a game night with my husband,

434
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 2: inviting four of our friends. It was semi regular, every

435
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: other week or once a month at the same time

436
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: due to some of the participants work schedules being tough

437
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: to work around except for this one night. Every other week.

438
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Kelsey dives in,

439
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, dive

440
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 2: into our slash Okay storytime subreddit and submit them there.

441
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 2: So Larry is my husband's best friend from childhood and

442
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 2: earned the first invite. He brought along his girlfriend Jesse,

443
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 2: who has since become a good friend of mine, and

444
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 2: also invited his coworker Rob. Our friend Ella also attended.

445
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 2: We had lots of fun. It kept up for a

446
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 2: good year and a half of kamuraderie. It's been one

447
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 2: of the few things I enjoyed during my week. I'm

448
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 2: a Newish mother of a one year old and struggle

449
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 2: making new friends. I genuinely credit this game night with

450
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 2: friends with part of my healing with my mental illness.

451
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 2: Then Larry and Jesse broke up. It was nasty, with

452
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 2: lots of herd emotions and shouting and the like. It

453
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 2: had lasted almost three years by the time it was done,

454
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 2: and for the record, they were definitely better off broken up.

455
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 2: They had gotten so toxic. Larry took things especially hard.

456
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 2: He was clearly worried he was going to end up

457
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:17,640
Speaker 2: socially isolated, and myself, my husband and Rob did our

458
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 2: best to assure him he was our friend no matter what.

459
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 2: But then game night came around. I wanted to be fair,

460
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 2: so I invited Rob and Ella and sent a separate

461
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 2: message to Larry and Jesse explaining they were both invited,

462
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 2: but if they wanted to come, they had to commit

463
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 2: to being civil with the other party. If they weren't

464
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 2: comfortable doing that, we would hang out some other time.

465
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: Jesse said, yeah, I'm okay with seeing him. I can

466
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 2: be polite. Larry said I can't do it, so I replied, okay,

467
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 2: I'll make sure we grab lunch sometime this week to

468
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: make up for it. And Larry believed he should have

469
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 2: been given some kind of preference because he's been my

470
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 2: husband and my friend longer than Jesse. He complained about

471
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 2: feeling abandoned, and even when Rob decided he would go

472
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 2: over to hang out with Larry one on one after

473
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 2: game night, Larry bitterly remarked that it was a pity visit.

474
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 2: Jesse is disabled on multiple fronts and has very limited

475
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 2: opportunities for socialization. Plus, I had genuinely become close friends

476
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 2: with her. She's my daughter's godmother. I couldn't just invite

477
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: Larry and not her. It wasn't fair. Part of me

478
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 2: wonders if I wasn't fair to Larry by basically hanging

479
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: out with his ex while he sat at home alone,

480
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 2: even if he was the one who decided he didn't

481
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 2: want to see Jesse. It's been about four months since

482
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 2: this went down, and not knowing if I did the

483
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 2: right thing has eaten me up inside. I've stopped hosting

484
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: game Nights entirely because I feel so conflicted. Stop, Like

485
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 2: I said, who's the best gamer? Invite that one?

486
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 6: Literally, just invite the one you like more. If Larry

487
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 6: is being all literally, just invite the person you like more.

488
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 2: Because I feel so conflicted, should I read a whole

489
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 2: story like that? Help me out so I can finally

490
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 2: move past this and maybe get back to having fun

491
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 2: with my brands. And verdict was not the a hole

492
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 2: And there's an edit. We're gonna dive right in. Thanks

493
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 2: for all the feedback. Here's my takeaway. I'm going to

494
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 2: check in with Larry to see how he's feeling now

495
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 2: that it's been a few months. If he's ready, we'll

496
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 2: give things another try, and if not, I'm gonna restart

497
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: game night while alternating invites between Larry and Jesse.

498
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 3: No, dude, don't that's weird.

499
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: It's weirder.

500
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 3: Just stop inviting Larry. He's the only one who has

501
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 3: a problem. He can't be that fun to hang out with.

502
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 2: If he's got this problem, he's got to work through it,

503
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: and it's.

504
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 3: Got it in his own time.

505
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: Because I'm segon, Larry, let your husband who's best friends

506
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 2: with Larry hang out with Larry.

507
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, Larry can hang out with whatever he cares about Larry.

508
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 3: I literally don't give one single thought about Larry.

509
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 2: I'm also going to encourage Larry to start his own

510
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 2: game night and tell him I'd love to come for it. Also,

511
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: to clarify on the godmother bit, I had to choose

512
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 2: somebody who practiced the same religion, and my husband and

513
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: I are converts, so we didn't have any family that qualified.

514
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: Our congregation is quite small, only around seventy five regular attendees,

515
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,239
Speaker 2: and Jesse and Larry are the ones that are our

516
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 2: friends and our age. But just because I chose her

517
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: because she was on a very short list of options,

518
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,120
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I don't consider Jesse a very close friend.

519
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 2: We really have bonded over the past few years separate

520
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 2: from our significant others, and we have some relevant comments here.

521
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: I think it would be helpful to have the perspective

522
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 2: of OPI's husband. Larry seems to view Jesse as an

523
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 2: invitation because she is his girlfriend rather than as a

524
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: friend to the group. Thus, when she's no longer his

525
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 2: plus one, she's off the island or at any rate,

526
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 2: because the breakup is hard on him and he was

527
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 2: friends first, he has friendship dibbs on the group. What

528
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 2: are we fifteen? I'm sorry? Are we fully grown?

529
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 3: At up? Friendship DIBs?

530
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: It seems like they dated for several years. Seems like

531
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 2: do you not know? While you would hope people could

532
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,239
Speaker 2: focus on the positive, like tolerating each other for an

533
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 2: evening for some ex couples, that's not going to be possible.

534
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: If he isn't willing to be around his ex then

535
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 2: intended or not, he is the one voted off of

536
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: Game Night Island.

537
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 3: Yes, this is Survivor and Larry, take your freaking torch and.

538
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 2: Go Survival of the gamiest okay. Opie responds to all

539
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: of that, to that comment from a malbethion. Throughout their relationship,

540
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: Larry definitely did bring Jesse to everything, our church, our parties,

541
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 2: and my game night. He told me multiple times he

542
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: wanted Jesse and I to be friends since he knew

543
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 2: both of us struggled with loneliness, so his behavior and

544
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 2: his own insistence seemed to be that he wanted her

545
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 2: to be a part of the friend group. The instant

546
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: she dumped him, the story change to the plus one

547
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: scenario you described. Husband backed me up when I decided

548
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 2: to invite both of them. I went to him for

549
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 2: his take before doing anything. Sion forty one, seven ninety

550
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: says Info, What toxic events happened and was it balanced?

551
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: I can see Larry being more hurt if she cheated

552
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,959
Speaker 2: on him and was just a bit rude to her.

553
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: No cheating, says Op. It really boils down to them

554
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,120
Speaker 2: not being effective at communicating to me. They would both

555
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 2: get very angry and defensive and accusatory, and neither were

556
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: ever willing to move on from previous slights, a great

557
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: trait to have in a relationship. As I understand, Jesse

558
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 2: ended things because she was tired of Larry lying over

559
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,239
Speaker 2: silly things and not following through on goals that they

560
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 2: both had, like wanting to get married, but he wanted

561
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 2: to save up for a car first, and never proposed

562
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 2: or even kept his driver's license up to date. Larry

563
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 2: was also subject to a lot of belittling from Jesse.

564
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 2: She wasn't particularly supportive and seemed to jump to anger

565
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: quickly in arguments. I really don't think either party is

566
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: solely to blame here. I know that sounds trite, but

567
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 2: they just really weren't good together and have made strides

568
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 2: with anger management and communicating their needs ever since the breakup.

569
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 2: OPI on what the game was for perspective, Yeah, it

570
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 2: was D and B.

571
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 6: That's that.

572
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 3: That changes everything. This is not a game night. This

573
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 3: is D and D. This changes.

574
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 2: It's not like you can just switch up and taboo.

575
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 3: You need people who are consistently there and are gonna

576
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 3: commit to time and you will be like, really in

577
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 3: depth with people Like that's teamwork. You need people who

578
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 3: can get along. No, that would be too messy. This

579
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 3: would be too messy.

580
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 2: I would not want.

581
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 3: X's in my D and D campaign.

582
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: It really does come down to what you said. Yeah,

583
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 2: it's just whoever, who do you like more? Yeah, you

584
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 2: cannot choose both. That's just not gonna work. We would

585
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 2: frequently play other tabletop board games. If somebody couldn't make it.

586
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: There's the option of disbanding the campaign. No, there's not,

587
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: and switching to one shots or sticking to just board games. Actually,

588
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: some good one shot campaigns out there. Continuing our game

589
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 2: of D and D wouldn't really work with alternating invites

590
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 2: new campaign. Are you kidding?

591
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: You have to start a new campaign? This is Oh

592
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: that changes everything? Because this everyone was like, oh, well,

593
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 3: why would you keep the X around same campaign?

594
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: You have to keep you like they're trying to keep

595
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 2: both of them in new campaign. You have to start

596
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 2: a new campaign. Fsh start Still, it might be worth

597
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: it to preserve friendships to change course and stick to

598
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: board games without a through line between sessions. My daughter's

599
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: birthday has happened since this. This was way different from

600
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: a game night because both Larry and Jesse are close

601
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 2: to her and have babysat her before and after their breakup.

602
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: I talked to my husband, who said we should invite

603
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 2: Larry first to see how he felt, especially after how

604
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: hurt he was by the handling of game night. Larry

605
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 2: said he was fine seeing Jesse at my daughter's birthday. Remember,

606
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: Jesse is also my daughter's godmother. The birthday went without

607
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: a hitch until we were eating cake. Jesse brought up

608
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 2: a tricky topic in conversation that has caused some tension

609
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 2: in the past. Larry, who had been in the restroom,

610
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: came back to the room, listened for a minute, and

611
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 2: then chimed in with an aggressive comment. Jesse responded in

612
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: kind to his aggression with similar AGGRESSI him my god,

613
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 2: and I cursed everything in the blue sky. M what

614
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 2: a line, because now not only was my game night

615
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: ruined by my friend's breakup, but now they were about

616
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: to make my daughter's second birthday awkward because they were

617
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 2: fighting over something stupid. My husband was actually the one

618
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: to tell them both to cut it off and if

619
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: they were going to fight, they could leave. Larry shot

620
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: off a quick fine and walked out the door just

621
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: like that. Husband chased after him. The two of them

622
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 2: were gone for well over an hour and a half

623
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 2: while they talked over a lot of old resentments. By

624
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: the time my husband came home, our daughter was in

625
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 2: bed and everyone except Jesse had left. She stuck around

626
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 2: so I wouldn't be alone and Larry and also husband.

627
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: What are you freaking doing. You're letting a grown man

628
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 2: with an emotional temper tantrum. He'd steal you away from

629
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: your daughter's birth and second birthday. Come on, now, come

630
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: on now. Jesse was very apologetic, admitting that she shouldn't

631
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 2: have is in too Larry's bait, but the whole experience

632
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 2: left a sour taste in my mouth. I still haven't

633
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: gotten around to actually hosting another game night.

634
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 3: I think you just got to kick both. Yeah.

635
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: I think it's time fresh start, fresh campaign, fresh campaign campaign.

636
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: My own birthday was yesterday and I wanted to buy

637
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 2: a new board game with my gift money, but ended

638
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 2: up talking myself out of it with a bitter Who

639
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 2: am I going to play with if I buy it?

640
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 3: Uh?

641
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: And by the way, you can play with all us

642
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 2: every single day of your life if you want. All

643
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 2: you gotta do is go to where we have full

644
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 2: episodes with stories like this, and that's Spotify, Apple Music Podcasts, Uh,

645
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 2: spot iHeartRadio wherever you listen to podcasts. If you search

646
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 2: Okay Storytime, you can find the whole archive and listen

647
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 2: to it to your heart's content. We do have a

648
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 2: little bit of story left here. Honestly, Who's who's the

649
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 2: biggest a hole right now?

650
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 3: Larry? Yeah, I'm a Larry hater Larry Lar, but now

651
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 3: I'm in like also, we should just get Jesse out.

652
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 2: Of the D and D Yeah too, I think, I think, Yeah,

653
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: I agree with this, I agree, I agree. I guess

654
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: the takeaway is thanks for helping me get a better

655
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,719
Speaker 2: view of all the fun things going on with my friends.

656
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: I'm trying to lean on my other friendships from my

657
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: hometown three hours away, as well as work on my

658
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 2: own marriage and making sure we have healthy communication so

659
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: we don't end up in the kind of bitter cycle

660
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: that Jesse and Larry are stuck in. I appreciate all

661
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 2: the feedback I got, including the brutally honest stuff, and

662
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: we have some more comments here to finish it off.

663
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: Sleepy witch disorder. Larry is truly the a hole storming

664
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 2: out of a two year old's birthday? Who does that? Apparently? Larry.

665
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 2: All that aside, I wouldn't get too down about it.

666
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: People are fallible and have negative, self destructive traits sometimes,

667
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 2: which has nothing to do with you. What about your

668
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: other friends? What about alternating game nights between Jesse and Larry,

669
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: you got this, Op, you can totally have fun and

670
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: keep the peace, Op says. He admitted as much to

671
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 2: his credit, and I've seen a few jud adjustments to

672
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 2: his behavior since the incident that was about two weeks ago,

673
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: and he seems to be showing that he is genuinely sorry.

674
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: In terms of other friends, the crew I've mentioned in

675
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: my original post is about it. In terms of friends

676
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: I have locally, it's kind of a sore point for

677
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 2: me that I have more friends, but they live three

678
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: hours away due to all having moved there for work

679
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: after college and it also being my hometown. I'm sort

680
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: of out of my element where I live now, even

681
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 2: after being here for two years. I need to man

682
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: up and try to host a game night again for

683
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 2: my own sanity, But I'm worried that Jesse and Larry

684
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: just can't be trusted to be civil, and I still

685
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 2: don't know how to manage an alternating invitation that won't

686
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 2: hurt feelings that it's the end of that story, and

687
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it again for the people in the back.

688
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 2: Just start fresh, start fresh, Just start a new one.

689
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 2: You don't have to worry about it. You can still

690
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: involve them individual but dnd's too complicated to try to

691
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 2: get and it's like, just to make sure no one

692
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 2: feels like they're yeah, like yeah, exclude both of them

693
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: so that none of them can feel like they're getting pecial.

694
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 3: I just say like, hey, like it. You know, I

695
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: just seems like it wasn't working, so we're going to

696
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: start a new Don't even tell them honestly, say hey,

697
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,760
Speaker 3: we're doing other games and then you get a regular

698
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 3: game nights with them. But your D and D campaign

699
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 3: is more exclusive.

700
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: That there will be questions. It's like you cannot tell them,

701
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 2: but they are going to say, hey, so what happened

702
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: to D and D? Where's the D and D? Are

703
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 2: you doing D and D? Where's the who's doing D

704
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 2: and D? Yeah, that's just how it goes.

705
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 3: If you want to be honest, you can be like a.

706
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 2: People who are difficult into D and D are going

707
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 2: to ask you where it went? It is for sure. Hey,

708
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 2: it's Sam, your og host.

709
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 3: Here.

710
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

711
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

712
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 6: My sister in law excluded me from her wedding photos,

713
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 6: so I excluded her from.

714
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 5: Mine too, and I for a NYE the whole world

715
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 5: get comfortable because this is a loud one with lots

716
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 5: of subtexts.

717
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 6: So this was before my husband and I got married,

718
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 6: and leading up to it. My sister in law never

719
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 6: got along with me. Why, I will never know. Reasons

720
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 6: I figured out she didn't were small but pass aggressive gestures,

721
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 6: not including the fact that she's a major drama.

722
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 3: God freaking drama lama over here.

723
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from plant Mama zero two

724
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 6: three five and if you want to submit your own stories,

725
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 6: just to the our slash Okay storytime suppredits. She'd ignore

726
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 6: every compliment I gave to her Facebook posts, but commented

727
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 6: on others No biggie could care less, but seemed odd.

728
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 6: When I'd visit, we could be on the same couch

729
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 6: and she'd literally turn her body so she was facing

730
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 6: away from me as much as she could. When I'd

731
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 6: speak to her directly, she'd blow me off or completely

732
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 6: ignore me. She demands that everyone works around her time schedule,

733
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 6: and no one is allowed to start partying or eating

734
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 6: until she arrives. She would never invite me to a

735
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 6: single thing. My husband dragged me along because he could

736
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 6: care less of her opinion, which by the way, also

737
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 6: included her wedding.

738
00:35:58,760 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 3: I was happy for her.

739
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 6: She has two of the most adorable kids with a

740
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 6: guy and they were getting married and the kids were

741
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 6: in it so cute. She told me specifically to not

742
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 6: wear the wedding colors. Okay, I mean, it wasn't hard.

743
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 6: I would have originally had to buy something if I did.

744
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 6: But the day before her wedding, she's such a bridezilla,

745
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 6: by heavens, it was insane.

746
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 3: She ordered everyone around.

747
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 6: For the dumbest things. She demanded her wedding photos the outside,

748
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 6: but no one could go stand in the shade in

749
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 6: case she needed them. And this was mid hot summer.

750
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 6: Oh wow, wasn't much of a problem for me, but

751
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 6: her mom doesn't handle heat well for medical reasons and

752
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 6: got sick.

753
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 3: She didn't seem to care.

754
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 6: Everyone had to go buy the schedule except her, which

755
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 6: she was late to everything by at least one hour,

756
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 6: making everyone wait places, whether at a hot park or

757
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 6: sitting waiting for the wedding to start. We had to

758
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 6: follow them around because she wanted everyone to see her

759
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 6: get photos taken off herself.

760
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: In the bridal party, she.

761
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 6: Demanded my husband to wear a very nice suit and

762
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 6: he was going to be an usher. No, she didn't ask,

763
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 6: she demanded, and yes, this was also a day before

764
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 6: the wedding, so he had to rush to a suit store,

765
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 6: spent three hundred and fifty dollars on a new suit

766
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 6: that got the colors, and then in the end she

767
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 6: never had him do it.

768
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 5: Anyways, we get to the wedding and boy am I

769
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 5: getting dirty looks.

770
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 6: Turns out the guy she's marrying and their culture all

771
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 6: wear the wedding colors.

772
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,320
Speaker 2: Oh, and she told her not to.

773
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 6: He told her not to, And I feel like wearing

774
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 6: the wedding colors is a pretty like common thing.

775
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 5: Yeah.

776
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 6: I don't think you like necessarily have to in a

777
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 6: lot of weddings, but it's definitely suggested and preferred. Yeah,

778
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 6: and obviously she had her mom and dad wear the

779
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 6: colors and demanded her brother too, So I was literally

780
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 6: the only one the wedding not in wedding colors. After

781
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 6: the ceremony, they did family photos. There were so many,

782
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 6: but understandable, you want to have a lot of picks

783
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 6: to remember. She made sure my husband and I were

784
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 6: an exactly one photo and we're again kept out of

785
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 6: ninety nine percent of the family photos. Again, I brush

786
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 6: off because I'm dating him at the time, so it's

787
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 6: not like we're married yet. Keep in mind, we've been

788
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 6: dating for three years and friends for five years, so

789
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 6: I've been around for a while. Proceeds to spend her

790
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 6: entire wedding ignoring us in her parents at her own wedding,

791
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 6: despite all her bs. So we decided to give her

792
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 6: a three hundred and fifty dollars dish wear set. It

793
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 6: was beautiful, she had a whole family to take care of.

794
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 6: I figured they'd love it. I always enjoy giving gifts

795
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 6: because it's always seemed to make people happy. And she

796
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 6: complains that it wasn't sent to the right address. We

797
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 6: sent it to the address on her registry, and then

798
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 6: two weeks afterwards she put it up for sale on

799
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 6: Facebook marketplace for two hundred dollars. My perfect then boyfriend

800
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 6: proposes so adorably.

801
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 3: He knows I'm.

802
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 6: People shy, so he does it in the comfort of

803
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 6: the home with our favorite snacks and just leans over

804
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 6: with the ring and asks I decide on a parents

805
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 6: and grandparents and the people in the line were the

806
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 6: only ones to go to the ceremony. I wanted something sweet,

807
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 6: quiet and special. I don't like a crowd and wasn't

808
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 6: planning to be anxious.

809
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 3: During my own ceremony.

810
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 6: I also didn't have people walk down the line and

811
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 6: had classical violin music playing in the background, just a

812
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 6: peaceful moment. I had my maid of honor, sister in

813
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 6: law of my brother, two bridesmaids sister and niece, and

814
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 6: a bridesman my brother. He has best man, brother groomsman

815
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 6: my brother in law, and uh grooms girl his sister.

816
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 5: Boy.

817
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 6: Did she pitch a fight when I said no kids,

818
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 6: no extra family, no phones, paying six thousand dollars for

819
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 6: a photographer, I want them pretty. She demanded I allow

820
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 6: her kids and husband in the room. My husband helps

821
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 6: me stand firm, so she said she wasn't coming and

822
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 6: hoped I enjoyed the ugly photos. Mature, AM all right.

823
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 6: She decides a month before the wedding she's coming, but

824
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 6: since her kids and husband aren't allowed at the wedding,

825
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 6: it will just be her. Obviously not what I said,

826
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 6: but whatever. She then proceeds to cause drama. She doesn't

827
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 6: want to be alone at a hotel, so she prevents

828
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 6: her parents from enjoying any of the family wedding traditions.

829
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 6: They make it late to photos and she complains the

830
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 6: entire time about the cold and how her wedding was

831
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 6: so much warmer. She never smiles the whole time she's there,

832
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 6: and in the single wedding photos she was put in

833
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 6: and switched about how the photos would look ugly at

834
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 6: such a boring park. This is before the ceremony, mind you,

835
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 6: So before we leave for the ceremony, I told the

836
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 6: photographers to put her in as few pictures as they

837
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 6: possibly could. They seemed eager to agree, so any wedding

838
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 6: photos beyond that did not contain her at all, putting

839
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 6: her in exactly one photo at the park, oopsie. And

840
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 6: then she also made it so her parents missed out

841
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 6: on the after wedding family traditions because she was tired

842
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 6: and wanted to go back to the hotel and told

843
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 6: us it wasn't a good enough wedding to bring a

844
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 6: gift to what's the heck? What you have to have

845
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 6: a very entertaining wedding with hosses and with and with

846
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 6: music and live band and a ddre if.

847
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:03,280
Speaker 3: You'll wedding doesn't have the Queen that I'm not bringing

848
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 3: a present.

849
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 6: It's not worth a gift.

850
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 3: You entertain me, little boy.

851
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 6: I was a little hurt that they put her first

852
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 6: when I wanted to include them in traditions that were

853
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 6: so important to my family, but nothing I could really

854
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 6: do about it. On a side note, the lovely extra

855
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 6: drama included two people that wore white by aunts of

856
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 6: two harmful eggs. Husband showed up and caused a riot

857
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 6: and small tussle with a couple of guys my family.

858
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:32,879
Speaker 3: Hauling his butt out.

859
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 6: Their daughter was upset, rightfully so, and got wasted and

860
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 6: caused a racket and was also taken out. Gently realized

861
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 6: we had a dry wedding for religious reasons, so I

862
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 6: guess she came prepared. We're still a little sore about

863
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 6: all the drama, but can still laugh at all the

864
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 6: random happy moments we got to share. Also, don't come

865
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 6: after me. It was a dry wedding, but I had

866
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 6: so much dessert and non heavy drink or drinks to

867
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 6: make anyone happy, with plenty of actual games to play.

868
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,479
Speaker 6: That's fun having board games at a wedding. Board game

869
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 6: that's an amazing idea.

870
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 2: I literally had that idea while I was like doing this.

871
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 4: I was like, really, you know it'd be cool is

872
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 4: if I had like around the table while I'm taking pictures,

873
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 4: if I knew what family members knew how to play

874
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 4: what games, or I taught them, and then everyone just

875
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 4: played Katon around the whole.

876
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: Wedding. We're all gonna be playing cards.

877
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 6: Our wedding siting book was Jancoblu jokes on her love

878
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 6: this man, so I'm going to be around for long

879
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 6: but time. Our personal one regret we shared for our

880
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 6: wedding that we didn't eat enough wedding cake.

881
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 2: Oh so sweet.

882
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 6: That's a sweet thing. Am idea for keeping her out

883
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 6: of our wedding photos.

884
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: Edit.

885
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 6: I have bad social anxiety, so I usually try to

886
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 6: deal with most things.

887
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 3: I tried to make peace and try to.

888
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 6: Build a relationship, but gave up. My family is very

889
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 6: protective of everyone, so if I had pitched a fit,

890
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 6: she'd have seventy five pluss on her saggy butt, and

891
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 6: I don't think it would be the best.

892
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: Plan for such a large riot.

893
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 6: I did the photo thing more because of how she

894
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 6: acted and frowned the entire time like a pouting child,

895
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 6: and I wanted positive photos only. Yeah, and you know

896
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 6: what I want only, I want you to listen to

897
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 6: full episodes with stories just like this one on your

898
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 6: favorite podcast app, whether that's iHeartRadio or a Spotify or

899
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 6: Apple podcasts.

900
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 3: I mean, there's just just so many.

901
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 6: So pick your favorite one search okay, storytime and listen

902
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 6: to it.

903
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 3: That's something that I That is a rock. That's an axiom.

904
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 3: There is still a little bit more.

905
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 6: But going back to that question, is op the a

906
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 6: hole for excluding the sister from the photos? O?

907
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: Your sister was such a messy, messy woman and she

908
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 3: was causing problems up and down the wazoo. Yeah. And

909
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 3: when you cause problems, you got consequence, and you can't

910
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 3: be in the cool, pretty pictures if you're gonna make

911
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 3: a fuss and pitch a fit. I agree, I agree.

912
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

913
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 3: My answer is she the a hope?

914
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: No?

915
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: What? Oh? Yeah, sorry, we were talking about the sisters still. No,

916
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 3: I hope You're not the able. You're lovely and I

917
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 3: want to marry you too.

918
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 6: We no longer care at this point, but it has

919
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 6: been brought up a few times that she wasn't in

920
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 6: really any photos and my parents are still sour towards

921
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 6: her actions of causing my husband's parents to miss the

922
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 6: traditional activities. Thank you for the small support. It really

923
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 6: boosted my mood and gave a small light that it

924
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 6: isn't worth the extra anxiety, and she's pretty much blocked

925
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 6: from everything for peace of mind and just a holiday burden.

926
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 3: From now on, she freaking stay out.

927
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 6: That's nice because I'm so glad that the parents agree

928
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 6: and it's not people like at her throat, being.

929
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:52,320
Speaker 3: Like why is she?

930
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 2: Why did you do that?

931
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 3: Why did you not let her be in pictures?

932
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 6: And everyone was like, you understand, Yeah, she's the worst.

933
00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 3: This lady's.

934
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to

935
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: the stories. Put a quick three minute ad break from

936
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: our sponsors that keep the show going.

937
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 3: My rude Sistra hates my kids. I won't tolerate it.

938
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,760
Speaker 2: Oh rude, rude.

939
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 3: Why you gotta be so rude? I don't know how

940
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 3: to handle this. Whats soever. This is my first child

941
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 3: so far, born three years ago. He was planned and

942
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 3: my husband and I are very happy with them. Obviously

943
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 3: he's a handful, but I think we got lucky because

944
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 3: he's calmer than most children in the past three years.

945
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Selisa Baby Later and

946
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, got our

947
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 3: slashowcase story Time Supper. Now sister in law married to

948
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 3: my husband's brother and her husband are child free, which

949
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 3: is fine, but I think she has deeper issues and

950
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 3: it's imposing on my family. I'm worried she actually literally

951
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 3: hates children. Thinking about it, it's okay, but if she

952
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 3: hated children, she needs to help herself if that is

953
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 3: the case, as there are many situations where I need

954
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 3: to be with my son or that I should not

955
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 3: have to find a babysitter. When I first announced the

956
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 3: news of my pregnancy, brother in law was very happy

957
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 3: for us and was happy to have a nephew. He

958
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 3: gave a great present for our son too. I didn't

959
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 3: think of it too much at the time, but sister

960
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 3: in law was hardly happy for us. Although she did

961
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 3: congratulate us, it was very dry. I'm starting to be

962
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 3: convinced that it's not that she doesn't only want no

963
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 3: children in her private life. She doesn't want to be

964
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 3: around children period. My husband and brother in law are

965
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 3: very involved with each other family business, so we see

966
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 3: each other all the time. I'm happy that brother in

967
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 3: law is happy to see her son, but sister in

968
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 3: law's attitude has been very off putting. I do have

969
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 3: a full time job, but for the most part works

970
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 3: stays at work, and my parents are the babysitters. I

971
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 3: often visit my husband at work they own bakeries coffee

972
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 3: shops with our son for a couple hours at a time.

973
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 3: Not every day, but often enough. If I need to leave,

974
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 3: I just leave, but I make it a point to

975
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 3: drop by when it's not busy. Sister in law often

976
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 3: helps out work there with the management related stuff or

977
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 3: simple prep stuff. Anything to help out is needed, so

978
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 3: I run into her every so often. Every single time

979
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 3: I visit my husband and she happens to be there,

980
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 3: she gets in a really sour mood. I visit my

981
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 3: husband and him seeing her son puts him in a

982
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 3: good mood, and brother in law always seems to be

983
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 3: really happy when he's there too. I want to stress

984
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 3: that this is a cafe area and children are here often,

985
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 3: and my son is magically not a huge crier. I

986
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 3: help with a few things here and there, but I

987
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 3: otherwise sit down at one of the tables with my

988
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,399
Speaker 3: laptop and chill and talk with my husband or brother

989
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 3: in law for small talk when they can. The other day,

990
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 3: sister in law sat down across me and asked, does

991
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 3: then really have to be here? Isn't that sort of inappropriate?

992
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: I asked her to expand, and she told me it's inappropriate.

993
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 3: I have him distracting husband and brother in law from work,

994
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 3: but it's completely nonsensical because children are here all the time,

995
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 3: and husband and brother in law aren't doing desk work.

996
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 3: They're dealing with front of house work most of the time.

997
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 3: He told me it's best to keep fun home with

998
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 3: our parents, but I told her the whole point of

999
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 3: be coming is to let my husband see her son.

1000
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 3: He and brother in law work nine am to eight pm,

1001
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 3: so husband misses out on son a lot. I told

1002
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 3: her that I should be able to visit my husband

1003
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 3: with my son. The old conversation was pretty civil, no

1004
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 3: indicative tone or anything. Who's clearly pretty sour, though, and

1005
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 3: it put me off. I talked to brother in law

1006
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 3: about it. I've known him a long time, and he

1007
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 3: apologized about it, saying she's just not a fan of children.

1008
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 3: Other things include going to the park with my son.

1009
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 3: This isn't too often, but every so often when the

1010
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 3: weather is nice, I take him outside with her dog side.

1011
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 3: Note we live in the same neighborhood. We don't run

1012
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 3: into each other often here, but clearly it happens. She

1013
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: told me I shouldn't have brought my son to the

1014
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 3: park and let people relax here. What it's the park,

1015
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 3: The park that's like where kids are. Yeah, that's a

1016
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 3: kid central. I disagree because it's a park and there

1017
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: are always children here and there. We weren't at the playground,

1018
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: but there is one nearby. She and her husband were

1019
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 3: just having a mini picnic when I ran into them

1020
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 3: and said hi. I wasn't going to join them, but

1021
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 3: with her sudden attitude, I think she worried I would be.

1022
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: I left after five minutes of talking with brother in law.

1023
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 3: It was sour and rude the whole time, telling me

1024
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 3: I should have left my son with my parents, who

1025
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,960
Speaker 3: lived twenty minutes away from me. I just wanted to

1026
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 3: walk the dog. I'm pretty sure her husband caught on

1027
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 3: to her attitude. I don't know what happened after we left.

1028
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 3: Other issues include fan only reunions. Of course I bring

1029
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 3: my son and after asking the host of the reunion

1030
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 3: if that's okay, and it always is. We're older than

1031
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 3: the other extended family, but they're starting to get married.

1032
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 3: I'm the only one with the kid. They're all quite

1033
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 3: receptive of my son, and if he cries, I will

1034
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 3: always take him away to calm down, and I just

1035
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: leave him in a room where he's napping. Thankfully, someone

1036
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 3: is always volunteering to be in the room with him

1037
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 3: because he's still at the cute stage. But again, this

1038
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 3: is always an issue with sister in law telling me

1039
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 3: I should have had a babysitter. The host only said

1040
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,720
Speaker 3: yes because they feel bad. I see the reception everyone

1041
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 3: has to my son. I can tell he's not a

1042
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 3: nuisance to everyone's fun and there's no less booze and

1043
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 3: they're still as loud as ever. Anyways, she tells me

1044
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 3: he shouldn't be here, it's rude of me to bring them,

1045
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,839
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. I ignore her because I very

1046
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 3: explicitly got permission from the host. Apparently, at this year's reunion,

1047
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 3: my husband's cousin came up to me and asked what

1048
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 3: sister in law's beef was. Because sister in law went

1049
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: up to the cousin thost and apparently said things like,

1050
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 3: don't you think me and Opie sat are being rude?

1051
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 3: I know Iang shouldn't be here. Why didn't they get

1052
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 3: a babysitter? And cousin said it was off I do

1053
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 3: have a babysitter aside from my parents for when it matters,

1054
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 3: and I've used her plenty of times. I will offhandedly

1055
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 3: mention sister in law's passive aggressive statuses on Facebook about

1056
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 3: children being in inappropriate places, but I don't go on

1057
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 3: Facebook often, so I will only catch it every so often.

1058
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 3: I just don't know how to handle sister in law.

1059
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 3: We are around each other so often, so avoiding her

1060
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 3: is going to be incredibly difficult.

1061
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 2: Update.

1062
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting to update this soon, but I met

1063
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 3: up with brother in law after I posted the original post,

1064
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 3: and with everyone giving good advice, I worked myself up

1065
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,760
Speaker 3: to ask him directly myself because I was in the mood.

1066
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 3: He goes on a run every so often, and I

1067
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 3: called him asking if we could take a walk, just

1068
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 3: him and me, and he said it was fine. I

1069
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 3: told my husband I don't know if he told sister

1070
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,359
Speaker 3: a law. I asked him how much my husband told

1071
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 3: him about the issue between sister in law and me

1072
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 3: and my son. And at first he said that he

1073
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 3: brought it up with sister in law to lay off

1074
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 3: with the rude comments, but then he admitted something and

1075
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 3: hadn't really been telling her. He told me some really

1076
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 3: huge news that for a while he's been rethinking about

1077
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 3: being child free with her. Some people actually said this

1078
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 3: in the last post. He said, it's been going on

1079
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 3: for a couple of years now after my son was born,

1080
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 3: and he was surprised at how much he enjoyed seeing

1081
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 3: him and playing with them. I told him this really

1082
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 3: surprised me because he had been child free for so long,

1083
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 3: but he said it was more sister in law that

1084
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 3: convinced him to be child free, and brother in law

1085
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 3: never really craved children in the first place. He said,

1086
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 3: ever since, he's been playing with my son at every

1087
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 3: chance he can get because he's not allowed a babysit

1088
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 3: if sister in law's present. He's been rethinking it and

1089
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: it's been happening since he was only a year old,

1090
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 3: if barely. This matches up with when sister in law

1091
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 3: has been getting more and more rude to me and

1092
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 3: my son. But when I asked him why, she was

1093
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 3: so cold when I first announced my pregnancy. He just

1094
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 3: said she didn't care. He says it's every time he

1095
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaker 3: plays with his nephew and rethinks it. He told me

1096
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,839
Speaker 3: some pretty private details between him and sister in law

1097
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 3: and apparently she got her troops tied after he admitted

1098
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 3: to rethinking about being child free. So he was like, yeah,

1099
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know, like I think I

1100
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 3: want may may want kids and she was like youop

1101
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 3: said I can't and says this was making sure it

1102
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 3: wouldn't happen because she refused to have children due to

1103
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 3: her career. He says he swear she doesn't hate children

1104
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 3: that much, just oh my gosh, she's exposing her. He

1105
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 3: says he's been rethinking their relationship because he's been seeing

1106
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 3: his nephew grow more and is regretting his child free

1107
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 3: decision and his marriage because he's stuck as child free.

1108
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, if you want kids, it's talk going

1109
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,320
Speaker 3: to work out. Yeah, yeah, it's a big thing. We

1110
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,719
Speaker 3: talked a little more about his relationship, but I won't

1111
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 3: post all the details, but basically he knows it's either

1112
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 3: having children with someone else or staying with sister in law.

1113
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 3: And never having children. They don't have a dog because

1114
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 3: she doesn't want one too, and oh and he's worried

1115
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 3: it'll be too late in life for him to one

1116
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 3: find someone else and to have the child. I'm going

1117
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: to be helping him out with some of his issues,

1118
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 3: and I won't actively encourage him to divorce sister in law,

1119
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 3: but I definitely won't stop him because I feel that

1120
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 3: what she's been doing is kind of crappy. Heobs tied

1121
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 3: to tie him down, way more controlling than I thought.

1122
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 3: And edit a huge clarification. It is not what she

1123
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 3: did that was controlling. It is what she said to

1124
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 3: him that was controlling. He came home home, said she

1125
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 3: got her tubes tied and told him that now you

1126
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 3: can have kids, essentially making the decision for him that

1127
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 3: he won't be changing his mind. Yes, he can always divorce,

1128
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 3: but it was still kind of crappy. You can do

1129
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 3: what she wants, but not say something like that to him.

1130
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 3: And double edit please stop asking how exactly that's controlling

1131
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 3: of her. I don't know. I'm just saying what brother

1132
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: in law told me, she said to him, and what

1133
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 3: pissed him off. I'm just now realizing people are thinking,

1134
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 3: I'm saying, getting her tubes tied is what was more

1135
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,919
Speaker 3: controlling than I thought. No, she has a person who's

1136
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 3: more controlling than I thought. So sister in law has

1137
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 3: definitely been taking out aggression on my son, but also

1138
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 3: understandably telling us off as to save her own marriage,

1139
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 3: which is way more down the crapter than I should

1140
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 3: have imagined. By the way, I imagine that you guys

1141
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 3: can listen to full episodes of stories just like this

1142
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 3: if you go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite

1143
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 3: podcast app in search of a startup. That's really sad.

1144
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: I know.

1145
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:50,479
Speaker 3: I'm like, I hope he is out of there family. Yeah,

1146
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 3: it's just like, have that conversation. She doesn't have to

1147
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 3: ever want kids. That's totally her decision. Yeah, but don't

1148
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're in a partnership with someone who says, like,

1149
00:53:58,440 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 3: you know what, I've been thinking about it and I

1150
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 3: I think I might want kids, don't be like, don't

1151
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: do that.

1152
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 2: Don't be like, oh, I mean.

1153
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 3: Get my team's died. Not tell you and then you

1154
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,399
Speaker 3: can't have her to have kids. Like, have a conversation, say, hey,

1155
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,879
Speaker 3: that's not what I want. Is this something that we're

1156
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 3: gonna regret not having like this is something that can

1157
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 3: we exist in our marriage without them, or is something

1158
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 3: that down the line you're gonna resent me, right, because

1159
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 3: I mean I have an adult conversation. Yeah, I mean

1160
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,400
Speaker 3: people always have kids like in their like twenties and

1161
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 3: thirties usually, and so from that point on to when

1162
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: like a lot of people live in is like eighties

1163
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 3: or nineties or that's if you want kids, you want

1164
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 3: to start around that time, and then you can't or

1165
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 3: decided that you like, this person isn't letting you have

1166
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 3: kids pretty much, not with her anyway. That's a long time.

1167
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 6: That's like half of your life that you could have

1168
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 6: these kids and see their lives grow and stuff.

1169
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 3: Apparently the issues sort of started when my son was

1170
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 3: first born and he was a pretty typically ugly baby,

1171
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 3: and at home, sister in law was talking about how

1172
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 3: epping ugly the baby was. Why would anyone ever have

1173
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 3: something like that? Such a nuisance? And while brother in

1174
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 3: law didn't exactly stop, he said, ever since that comment,

1175
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:03,920
Speaker 3: it was far in the back of his mind. So

1176
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 3: I have no idea what the f is going to

1177
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 3: happen now? Edit. The only thing I'll be involving myself

1178
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 3: in is letting brother in law in my life a

1179
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 3: little more so he can be around his nephew and

1180
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 3: see if he actually does want his own kid as

1181
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 3: opposed to just really liking his nephew. I'm not actually

1182
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 3: going to be playing marriage counselor and that is the

1183
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 3: end of the story.

1184
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:23,720
Speaker 5: Wow.