WEBVTT - Heavyweight Short: Hallie

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<v Speaker 1>Khalila Holt. Yeah, heavyweight producer.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh?

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<v Speaker 1>Dancer no, singer?

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<v Speaker 3>M No?

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<v Speaker 1>Did I say heavyweight producer?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>And today you're going to be more than just a

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<v Speaker 1>I shouldn't say just today. Today, you're you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>be presenting us with a story. Yes, I'm excited about.

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<v Speaker 2>It, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>I am too, in anticipation of the season coming up

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<v Speaker 1>in the fall. Yes, we're going to be We're going

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<v Speaker 1>to be doing some smaller stories. But smaller is that

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<v Speaker 1>the right word, because they're they're not small and significance, they're.

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<v Speaker 2>Just short, kind of just shorter. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Does it? Does it feel condescending to call them mini episodes?

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<v Speaker 2>Mmm?

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<v Speaker 1>Lightweight?

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's more condescending. Why don't we just call

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<v Speaker 2>it like heavyweight.

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<v Speaker 1>Shorts, heavyweight shorts.

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<v Speaker 2>For summer, shorts for summer.

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<v Speaker 5>All right, fine, let's call them heavyweight short. And you're

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<v Speaker 5>going to be presenting us with our inaugural heavyweight short.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, today's heavyweight short, Hallie. Right after the break, Hallie

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<v Speaker 2>keeps coming back to a brief interaction she had with

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<v Speaker 2>a stranger when she was seventeen years old. The whole

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<v Speaker 2>thing only lasted a few minutes, but those minutes, she says,

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<v Speaker 2>set the course for the rest of her life, and

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<v Speaker 2>the stranger has remained on her mind ever since.

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<v Speaker 4>Eh, God, like once or twice a year, I think

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<v Speaker 4>about her.

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<v Speaker 2>How long has it been now?

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<v Speaker 6>This was August of twenty twelve, so it's been almost

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<v Speaker 6>nine years.

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<v Speaker 2>Nine years ago, Hallie was in high school and dating

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<v Speaker 2>her first serious boyfriend. She was sexually active for the

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<v Speaker 2>first time and becoming increasingly anxious about not being on

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<v Speaker 2>birth control. In health class, the teacher always said to

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<v Speaker 2>talk to your mom about birth control, but Halle's mom

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<v Speaker 2>was prone to unpredictable mood swings and could sometimes get violent.

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<v Speaker 2>The two no longer spoke, so Halle lived with her dad,

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<v Speaker 2>a strict and religious man who believed it was morally

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<v Speaker 2>wrong to have sex before marriage. Hallie remembered the day

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<v Speaker 2>he'd seen her little sister with the guy he didn't

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<v Speaker 2>approve of, how he'd lifted the boy in the air

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<v Speaker 2>by his caller. Hallie had no older sister, no aunt

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<v Speaker 2>nor family friend she could call upon. Not knowing where

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<v Speaker 2>else to turn, she showed up one day at a

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<v Speaker 2>healthcare clinic in her hometown of Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin. Her

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<v Speaker 2>younger sister came along for emotional support.

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<v Speaker 6>Timed it so that my dad would be at work

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<v Speaker 6>because it's a you know, it's it's a small town.

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<v Speaker 6>We were worried about our car being spotted in the

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<v Speaker 6>parking lot. I was absolutely shitting myself. I was trembling.

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<v Speaker 6>I was so frightened.

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<v Speaker 2>The clinic was on a busy street and had lots

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<v Speaker 2>of windows. Hollie felt exposed even being there. Once she

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<v Speaker 2>worked up the nerve to approach the woman behind the

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<v Speaker 2>reception desk, she began to explain her situation.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm interested in getting on birth control, but it cannot

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<v Speaker 6>show up on any kind of billion statement because my

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<v Speaker 6>dad will notice. I'm sure she must have seen how

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<v Speaker 6>scared we were, because it was something clicked like it

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<v Speaker 6>was it felt like one of those It felt like

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<v Speaker 6>one of those moments, one of those like unspoken conversations

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<v Speaker 6>that sometimes happened between women where one just recognizes the

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<v Speaker 6>need and another, yeah. Like she got to work, she

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<v Speaker 6>like started punching a bunch of stuff into the computer,

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<v Speaker 6>and I remember her leaving the desk at one point

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<v Speaker 6>to try to like ask some of the other people

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<v Speaker 6>on staff, like is there any way that we can

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<v Speaker 6>do this, and ultimately the answer was no, because it

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<v Speaker 6>would violate I don't even know how many like medical

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<v Speaker 6>ethics laws. So I was prepared to, like at that point,

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<v Speaker 6>walk out and just be defeated and think about something

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<v Speaker 6>you know, tried.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know what I was gonna I have no

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<v Speaker 6>idea what I was going to do at that point,

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<v Speaker 6>probably drop it.

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<v Speaker 2>But the receptionist didn't drop it. She suggested calling Planned Parenthood,

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<v Speaker 2>and when Halle was too scared to call, the receptionist

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<v Speaker 2>said that she would call for her.

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<v Speaker 6>And she just used the phone right there at the

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<v Speaker 6>office and pretended to be meet She gave them my name,

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<v Speaker 6>and she just like she just asked all of the

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<v Speaker 6>questions that I was too scared to ask, and she

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<v Speaker 6>made an appointment in my name.

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<v Speaker 2>Even though Halle's interaction with the receptionist was brief, she

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<v Speaker 2>offered Halle more than anyone else had. She didn't shame Halle,

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<v Speaker 2>betray her confidence, or judge her. She made her feel

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<v Speaker 2>looked after like a caring mother would.

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<v Speaker 6>I went on to graduate from college and I'm now

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<v Speaker 6>currently living abroad pursuing my master's degree. But I just

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<v Speaker 6>can't help but think, you know, I know that none

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<v Speaker 6>of it would have been possible if I'd if I'd

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<v Speaker 6>gotten pregnant instead, especially then, like, oh my god, imagine

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<v Speaker 6>trying to deal with like a pregnancy and a very

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<v Speaker 6>religious father.

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<v Speaker 4>Holy shit.

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<v Speaker 2>And so Hallie and I are talking today because she

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<v Speaker 2>wants my help in finding the receptionist so she can

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<v Speaker 2>let her know what an impact she had.

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<v Speaker 6>I want to say thank you so much for seeing

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<v Speaker 6>how scared I was, and for making a scary situation

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<v Speaker 6>manageable and just you know, holding my hand through this

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<v Speaker 6>and making sure that I was okay.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, she's the reason I'm okay.

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<v Speaker 6>But I didn't have the I didn't have that presence

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<v Speaker 6>of mine to thank her.

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<v Speaker 2>And what do you remember about just like what she

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<v Speaker 2>looked like? I'm assuming you don't remember her name.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't remember her first her last name.

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<v Speaker 6>No. I remember her being kind of a heavier sight,

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<v Speaker 6>black woman wearing scrubs, which probably won't help, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>but that.

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<v Speaker 4>Makes sense, I think.

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<v Speaker 6>I in my mind, she kind of had like long

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<v Speaker 6>braids that went down to like maybe down to her waist.

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<v Speaker 6>But that's how I've always That's how I've always remembered her,

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<v Speaker 6>and I don't know how much of that is embellishment,

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<v Speaker 6>but I would.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know why I would make any of that up.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not much to go on, but I promised to

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<v Speaker 2>try to find the receptionist. Luckily, Hallie's sister remembers which

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<v Speaker 2>clinic they went to that day because it was where

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<v Speaker 2>their gynecologists worked. I call the clinic and explained to

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<v Speaker 2>a test turned man that I'm trying to find out

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<v Speaker 2>who worked reception in twenty twelve because a woman who

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<v Speaker 2>talked to that person for a few minutes a decade

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<v Speaker 2>ago wants to talk to her again about something I

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<v Speaker 2>can't get into at the moment. Will you help me

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<v Speaker 2>figure out who that receptionist was, I ask? He says no.

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<v Speaker 2>I call back the next day, hoping I'll get someone else,

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<v Speaker 2>but the same man answers, and I hang up in

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<v Speaker 2>a panic. From there, I said in motion a series

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<v Speaker 2>of increasingly desperate bids for information. I patted Helie in

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<v Speaker 2>from abroad to call the clinic with me. I send

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<v Speaker 2>her old gynecologist Facebook messages and even mail a letter

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<v Speaker 2>to her house, which feels uncomfortably illicit. One should no

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<v Speaker 2>more contact a doctor at their home, than follow an

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<v Speaker 2>actor backstage. In the end, none of it yields anything. Finally,

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<v Speaker 2>I find someone at the head office who's moved by

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<v Speaker 2>Holley's story and willing to help. I give her Halle's

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<v Speaker 2>description of the receptionist in the year she'd have been

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<v Speaker 2>working the front desk, and a few weeks later, she

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<v Speaker 2>gets back in touch with the name Markina. I'm super nervous.

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<v Speaker 2>What's the thing that is making you nervous?

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<v Speaker 6>I guess, I just I've been wanting to thank this

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<v Speaker 6>person for so long, and I guess I'm worried I'm

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<v Speaker 6>not going to do a good job.

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<v Speaker 4>You haven't told her everything, right?

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't. Yeah, I mean I told her sort of

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<v Speaker 2>the broad stroke. I'd spoken to Markeina, just briefly, explaining

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<v Speaker 2>that she'd helped a young woman named Halle long ago.

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<v Speaker 2>It didn't ring a bell. Still, Markina said that she

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<v Speaker 2>was happy to talk. Should we call? Do you feel

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<v Speaker 2>you feel ready?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, let's call.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi.

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<v Speaker 2>This is Markina Markina. Hi, It's Kalila and Hallie calling.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi.

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<v Speaker 4>How are you? I'm good?

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<v Speaker 7>How are you?

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<v Speaker 6>I'm well?

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Hallie pauses trying to figure out what to say, and then,

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<v Speaker 2>just as she did nine years ago, she swallows her

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<v Speaker 2>fear and begins.

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<v Speaker 6>So when I was seventeen years old, I was I

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<v Speaker 6>was sexually active, and I couldn't talk to my parents

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<v Speaker 6>about it. Me and my younger sister explain the situation, like,

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<v Speaker 6>we're interested in getting on birth control pills, but our

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<v Speaker 6>father is the type of person who goes over bills

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<v Speaker 6>with a fine tooth comb.

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<v Speaker 3>And if you, oh my gosh, I do remember you?

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<v Speaker 4>You do?

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<v Speaker 7>I do remember you? Really?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, cry baby, I'm so sorry.

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<v Speaker 4>You do remember this?

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<v Speaker 5>Really?

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<v Speaker 3>I do?

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<v Speaker 7>I do?

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<v Speaker 2>I do?

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<v Speaker 7>And I remember calling my boss you do, that's right,

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<v Speaker 7>asking her.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, okay, I don't want to get in trouble, but

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<v Speaker 3>I want to help her.

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<v Speaker 4>But do you remember what you did next?

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<v Speaker 6>You're even after your boss said you guys couldn't help,

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<v Speaker 6>because I think it would, it would have understandably violated

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<v Speaker 6>a bunch of ethical you still didn't stop. You called

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<v Speaker 6>planned parent and you made an appointment in my name.

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<v Speaker 6>Uh huh. And then the next the following week, I

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<v Speaker 6>was able to keep that appointment and I got on

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<v Speaker 6>birth control, and I was Okay. I just think about

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<v Speaker 6>how lucky I was that you were there that day,

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<v Speaker 6>and I want to say thank you, thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 2>I have.

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<v Speaker 3>Daughters and I was once that scared teenager that needed help.

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<v Speaker 3>So I always try to be that mother.

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<v Speaker 7>For someone, or that for someone, or that just someone

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<v Speaker 7>for someone.

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<v Speaker 4>No, you were you.

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<v Speaker 6>That's that's exactly what I needed, and that's exactly who

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<v Speaker 6>you were. It would have been so easy for you

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<v Speaker 6>to just after talking to your boss, to say I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 6>I can't help you, but uh, I just wanted you

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<v Speaker 6>to know that I've never forgotten what you did, and

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<v Speaker 6>for the last nine years I've thought about you. I

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<v Speaker 6>went on and got my bachelor's degree and I'm actually

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<v Speaker 6>in the middle of pursuing my master's right now, and

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<v Speaker 6>I have just always thought that might not have been possible.

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<v Speaker 4>If I didn't get the help I needed.

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<v Speaker 2>Markina, what is what is the thing that you remember

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<v Speaker 2>like about that day? Like what is it that rang

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<v Speaker 2>a bell for you?

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<v Speaker 7>When she said when she explained to me about her father.

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<v Speaker 3>In that moment, it didn't matter about work, it didn't

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<v Speaker 3>matter about whatever if I was, if I was to

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<v Speaker 3>be rolled up, you know what, I'm taking one for

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<v Speaker 3>the team.

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<v Speaker 7>I knew I could not just leave her be like

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<v Speaker 7>I had to help her because it was somebody that

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<v Speaker 7>helped me. My father molested me, and.

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<v Speaker 3>I had no one to talk to, and I was

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<v Speaker 3>afraid to tell people. One day, I was walking There's

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<v Speaker 3>a it's a bridge on one of our streets, and

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<v Speaker 3>I had went through something terrible that night, I'll say that,

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<v Speaker 3>and it had something to do with my father. So

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<v Speaker 3>that morning I decided, you know what, I'm out of here.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was walking over this bridge and my head

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<v Speaker 3>was down. I was sad, of course, and there was

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<v Speaker 3>this man that appeared. We were just walking past each other,

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<v Speaker 3>and he stopped and he said, whatever it is, it

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<v Speaker 3>will be okay. You pick your head up and you

0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:10.319
<v Speaker 3>smile and you keep going. Now we're in the middle

0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:15.120
<v Speaker 3>of the bridge. I'm going one way, he's going the

0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:21.959
<v Speaker 3>opposite way. Full minute later, I turned around say thank you,

0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:29.560
<v Speaker 3>and he was gone. So looking at her reminded me,

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:34.319
<v Speaker 3>even though her situation was totally different, Looking at her

0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:38.800
<v Speaker 3>reminded me of how scared I used to be and

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:45.319
<v Speaker 3>how I would reach out. It just wanted someone to help.

0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 6>Me, to hear you, to hear you talk about your past,

0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:58.440
<v Speaker 6>and now revisit that moment, knowing where you were coming from, m.

0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Is remarkable.

0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:06.520
<v Speaker 6>I'm so I'm so so grateful that you saw me

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 6>that day and didn't just like see me in front

0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:13.600
<v Speaker 6>of you, but you saw what I needed and I

0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:17.400
<v Speaker 6>remember you like one of the very first things you

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 6>said was you said you were proud of me for

0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:25.080
<v Speaker 6>coming in, which was I think exactly what I needed

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:25.880
<v Speaker 6>to hear in that moment.

0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:35.400
<v Speaker 4>And I'm so proud of you. Now, thank you so much.

0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.560
<v Speaker 4>You're welcome, You are so welcome.

0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 2>Halle recently visited Whitefish Bay. She asked Martina if she

0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.600
<v Speaker 2>could see her, and Martina said she'd like that. She

0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.160
<v Speaker 2>still works for the same healthcare network, although at a

0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 2>different clinic, and she told Hallie to come say hi.

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>During the work day, Hallie brought Markina flowers. She drove

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.880
<v Speaker 2>to the clinic, walked inside the door, and didn't care

0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 2>who saw her. This Heavyweight short was produced by me

0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:34.520
<v Speaker 2>Khalila Holt along with Stevie Lane, Moheeney mcgauker, and Jonathan Goldstein.

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Special thanks to Sam Riisman, Sherry Mantz, and doctor Lynde.

0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:42.920
<v Speaker 2>Katherine Anderson mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows.

0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:46.920
<v Speaker 2>John K. Sampson, Blue dot Sessions, and Bobby Lord. Follow

0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.880
<v Speaker 2>us on Twitter at Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight

0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.800
<v Speaker 2>at gimlipmedia dot com. You can listen to the show

0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.560
<v Speaker 2>for free on Spotify. We'll be back with a new

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Heavyweight short in two weeks and a new Heavyweight season

0:15:58.560 --> 0:15:59.080
<v Speaker 2>this fall.