WEBVTT - The Secret 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:04.800 Jackie, to me, epitomized everything that a person would want 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:08.680 in a mom. She was patient, she was caring, she 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:12.800 was affectionate, physically affectionate with the girls, which both Chris 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:16.840 and Jackie were like that. But she was definitely very 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:21.080 maternal and even with me. I mean, gosh, I can't 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:23.000 even tell you how many times I would go to 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:25.319 her and cry about something. I went to her for 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.560 advice all the time. I absolutely looked up to her, 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:32.720 and she was so nurturing in everything that she did. 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:46.080 The voice you heard belongs to Elena, a woman who 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:49.880 babysat Becky and her sister for many years. Now thirty 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.000 four years old, Becky lives a normal life like everyone else. 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:56.440 But what's unusual about her story is that her biological 0:00:56.480 --> 0:01:01.080 mother is convicted killer Diane Downs, ordered by the state 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:05.040 to place Becky then Amy up for adoption. She went 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.880 to live a peaceful life with her adoptive parents, Jackie 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:11.440 and Chris and bend Oregon. Becky had a great home life, 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.280 and her parents provided her with a good home environment 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:15.360 and treated her well. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.160 They were amazing. I mean, we had eighty acres, we 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.319 did forage and had horses and all the animals you 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.920 could think of. We lived on the river. It was 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.800 a deal to be a place to raise children, and 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.520 so my sister was adopted first, and then four years 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:33.920 later my parents adopted me. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.759 Elena is a very same babysitter whom Becky tricked into 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:43.360 revealing her biological mother's identity. Alena remembers the interaction from there. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.319 I went to the bookstore and I had to have 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:48.600 my parents take me, obviously because I was a kid, 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.160 And I found the book by Anniual and I thumbed 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:55.440 through the pages and went straight to the pictures. That 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.320 was like the moment reality set that this woman is 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:02.880 actually my biologic mom. And more so, the reality said 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:07.520 that my parents weren't my real parents. I always knew 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.240 they were not my real parents, but it was the 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:13.200 fact that now there was this third person. Now there 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:17.000 was reality of who my biological mother was. I think 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:19.440 it had been three years of asking that. It just 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:21.919 I didn't think i'd ever know, And at that point 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.720 I wish I hadn't known. It was really scary. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.480 Becky was able to mostly forget about Diane for a 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:31.359 few years. 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.960 It was that answer to the question, you know, and 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:38.040 so I was able to let that go, and it 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:40.120 was more of just the needing to know, and now 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:43.200 that I knew, I didn't want to know, so I 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:44.320 just kind of buried it deep. 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:47.240 It stayed buried for a while until Becky decided to 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:48.200 share her secret. 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:50.440 When I was sixteen, I had told a boyfriend who 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.480 Diane Downs was, and it was just during that get 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:55.360 to know you phase. You know, he had asked if 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.120 I had anything that I never told anybody before, you know, 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:03.800 a secret, and that was the biggest secret I had. 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.400 So I told him. One day he said, you know, 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.360 let's watch a movie. Come on over to my house. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.960 I remember sitting on his puton and he popped the 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:13.919 tape in and then he left the room to go 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:18.920 make snacks or something, and that's when it started playing. 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:23.480 And you know, you see the small sacrifices. It was 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:30.560 difficult to watch Barack faucet as dining down and to 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:34.080 let that story unfold in front of me. You can't 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:37.200 look away. But I did not want to watch it, 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:38.840 but I couldn't stop watching it. 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.360 At the bookstore, Becky saw the pictures of her mom 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:47.520 in the book but didn't read it. So watching this 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:50.120 was the first time she'd heard the entire story. 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:55.240 I don't even know the words to explain how it felt. 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.480 It killed a little part of my innocence in a sense, 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.880 just to know that that's really where I'm biologically from. 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:06.000 And I felt so stupid looking back, wanting to know 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.720 for so long, And I understand why my mom didn't 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:10.480 want to tell me. 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.080 Becky finally understood where she had come from and the 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:15.680 woman who had given birth to her. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.480 The part that really got me was when Diane was 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:21.200 holding that baby that was a representation of who I am, 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:27.279 and it became real, It's like that's me in a sense, 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:32.039 and the fact that she held me and it was uncomfortable, 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:34.040 really difficult to watch. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.760 After the discovery of who her biological mom was, Becky's 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:50.600 behavior shifted towards rebellion. 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.159 Looking back now as an adult, I can see that 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:58.240 it affected me greatly because it was the beginning of 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:03.280 my rebellious years, and perhaps that information and not dealing 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:06.919 with it appropriately and emotionally that it caused me to 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:08.160 go off the rails a little bit. 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:12.159 Becky came to resent the secrecy and the hidden facts 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:15.120 about where she came from. She also saw part of 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:19.120 her identity in Diane not being prepared emotionally to the 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:23.320 jarring physical resemblance to Diane, causing her to question who 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:23.880 she was. 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.880 After I saw the video and really got the full 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.800 idea of who Diane downs was, I just kind of 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:36.400 stopped caring. I shut down inside somehow. And I had 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.560 already been pretty rebellious, but at that age it was 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:47.440 more destructive rebellion, self destruction, partying, sleeping around, drugs, running away. 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:49.680 You know, I wasn't living at home at that point. 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:54.400 It was scary. I guess looking back now, I'm amazed 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.400 and I'm still alive by some of the situations I 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:05.160 would put myself in. At seventeen is when I decided 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.839 that I'm going nowhere in life and I'm just a 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:11.400 disappointment to everybody. So I needed to do something, and 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:15.680 I joined the Army, and the day that I shipped 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:17.480 out for boot camp, they told me I was pregnant. 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.640 Before being shipped off to boot camp, recruits are subject 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.679 to a battery of tests, and for women, this includes 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.320 a last minute pregnancy test. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.760 As I walked by and they said, okay, everybody's clear. 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:34.640 And as I walked by, I looked down at him 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.800 and there's one positive and I was like, excuse me, 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.680 you know, it's like is that mine? And they're like, oh, 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:46.640 my gosh, sit right here, and they made me wait 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:50.560 for hours. They didn't tell me anything. They did call 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:54.160 my dad though, because I was seventeen, and they called 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.880 and told him, and that was awful. 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.160 I told before you yeah, and. 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.440 I begged them. I said, please, don't tell my dad. 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:04.280 You know, he can't let me at least tell him 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:05.080 that I'm pregnant. 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:08.600 Becky's parents were supportive to an extent, but for the 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:10.080 most part, she was on her own. 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:12.600 After finding out that I was pregnant, I stayed in 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.880 Portland for a while and continued to hang out with 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.840 some of the same people that weren't very healthy for me. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.680 I wasn't doing any drugs. I quit smoking and I 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:24.200 talked with my dad and I tried to come home, 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.600 but they said, you know, we raised our children. This 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:30.880 is something you need to do on your own. They 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:33.720 paid for me to have a house so I could 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.440 raise my child, and my dad said that every parent 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:38.160 needs to be home for at least the first two 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.120 years of a child's life, so they helped me for 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.120 the first two years, even though I couldn't live with 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.280 them and they wouldn't like, really help me raise him, 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:48.880 they were there the whole time, and they made it 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.960 possible that I could have my child and that I 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.960 could take care of them and be that hands on parents. 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.000 With Christian, Becky discovered that she loved being a mom. 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:00.520 At the beginning, when Christian was a little well, I 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:04.600 didn't have time to think, you know, sleep deprived and 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.080 always caring for a little baby. I loved being a mom. 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:12.520 I never really worried about my genes transferring to him. 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:15.880 He was perfect in my eyes. Maybe it's how my 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:17.640 mom felt when she looked at me, you know, and 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.559 accepted me, and so their family is. I just didn't 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:25.280 see any negative things or anything bad. I just saw 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:29.960 this perfect little child, and so I didn't worry who 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:35.760 he was going to grow up to be. 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:39.240 Becky started dating a coworker and fell in love, and then, 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:41.839 by choice, Becky got pregnant a second time. 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:47.280 At that point, things started to go wrong. Before we 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.480 got pregnant, we drank a lot. We were still partying 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.800 quite a bit, and I had to sober up and 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.800 do things right because I was pregnant. We just realized 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.760 we didn't really like each other anymore, and we didn't 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:04.160 know who each other was without the alcohol and staying 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.000 up all night partying and that sort of stuff. 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.160 And then things got worse. Without warning, the father of 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.160 a child just left. 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.560 I was just destroyed. I was heartbroken. I was pregnant 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.360 with my second child. It was you know, I couldn't 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:21.560 afford where I was living because I couldn't work. It 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.680 was a high risk of pregnancy. I was bedridden for 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.120 most of it. I didn't want to give up on 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.120 our family, so I ended up staying in a homeless 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:30.480 shelter because I couldn't work. 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:37.080 After speaking to her parents, Becky decided the best option 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.560 would be to put the second child up for adoption. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.520 They said that if I would think about adoption and 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:45.960 do what's best for both the children, that I could 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.559 stay with them till the baby was born. And they 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.080 were right. I was homeless, I was a single mom. 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:56.960 I couldn't raise two children, even though it even though 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.520 I really wanted to. I didn't want to give my 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:02.240 son away, but it was what's best for both of them. 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:07.439 The birth of Becky's second child was emotionally and physically challenging, 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:08.240 so that. 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.559 It gets to the point where it's time to be induced. 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.240 Because it was the highrist pregnancy, they wanted to just 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:17.640 kind of, you know, move things along. I was there 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.360 by myself because my family was too hard on them. 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.920 It broke their heart to let him go as well. 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.600 It hurt in so many ways, you know, emotionally and physically, 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:33.280 and everything just hurt. And then he was born and 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:36.480 he was perfect. They told me, you know, that I 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:38.120 could spend as much time with him as I wanted, 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.360 and you know, just told him. But I knew that 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.280 if I didn't let him go, that I would never 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.720 let him go. They just had to take him. Because 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:53.880 I didn't let go. I was devastated, and I didn't 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:55.840 know who to talk to. I didn't know anybody else 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.160 that had put their child up for adoption and had 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:05.160 that loss. For some reason, I thought about contacting Diane. 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.520 I understand how she felt. I too did a similar thing. 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:11.200 I had reached out to my father in a letter 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:14.880 to his prison as a teen, telling him about my abortion, 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.080 thinking I find a soft place to share that he 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.520 couldn't be judgmental as he was serving multiple life sentences. 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.840 It doesn't make sense logically, but in the moment of 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.440 desperation and a need for connection. He was the only 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.720 person I thought would be in a place to listen 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:33.520 and to care. 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:40.560 One night, I was especially sad, and I just wondered 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.640 if Diane ever felt what I felt in that moment. 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:48.200 I just needed somebody that I could relate to. I 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.280 didn't need a mother, I had one, but I needed 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:55.440 somebody that had been through it, and she went through. 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:55.680 It with me. 0:11:56.200 --> 0:12:00.200 There was that connection. It was my biological mom who 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.120 held me and who let me go, And for that 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.720 brief moment, I just wanted to know that she was human. 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:11.000 Becky reached out with a fairly ordinary letter, just describing herself, 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.160 and Diane responded. 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:18.240 She responds fairly normal. The first letter, actually, it was 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.840 telling me what she looked like, and where she was born, 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:26.000 and just general really nice things. I got the letter 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.520 and I was almost like, Okay, this isn't so bad. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.120 Maybe I didn't make a mistake in writing her. Because 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.839 after I put that letter in the mailbox, my heart sank. 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:37.320 I was just what did I do? Why did I 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.040 do that? Ever since the day that I sent that 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.559 first letter, I was terrified of what the letter coming 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.080 back would be, but it was excited terrified. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.680 The correspondence with Diane didn't last long. 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:53.120 I think there was only like six letters in total exchanged. 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:57.280 I wrote her my first letter about a week and 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.440 a half later, so she had to have written me 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.600 that day that she received a letter and sent it back, 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.880 because it was a very quick turnaround. And so then 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.560 I responded, you know, a few days after receiving her letter, 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.800 and I think that I in this second letter, I 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:16.040 asked about my biological father, and I asked who he 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:20.320 was and if I could know him and where he was. 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.959 Diane was a clinical narcissist and couldn't stand the idea 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:28.120 that the focus was no longer on her. 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.120 She just got angry and said she was never going 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.640 to tell me and why would I ask those questions? 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.560 And I don't need to know, and just avoided it 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:37.680 in every way possible. 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:41.920 After writing to Diane for a while, she begins to 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.640 see the parallels between their lives and behavior. Becky begins 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:55.360 to wonder if she's a psychopath just like Diane. 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.680 So talking with her, and I said, you know what, 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:06.160 if at some point you would like to tell your story, 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.960 I could help you get your story told. 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:13.040 Somewhere after Eric's first meeting with Becky, he began to 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.400 explore the idea that he could be the person to 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.600 help tell her story, to finally give her a chance 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:20.600 to let the world know about her from her own 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:21.360 point of view. 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.360 I think there was this sort of this Diane shaped 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:29.480 void inside of her that she's always trying to bring 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.880 the drugs and the men and everything too. I mean, 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:36.040 she would talk about really sort of crying out to 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.440 God and saying, please help me. I don't know who 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.520 I really am. Am I just the daughter of this 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.640 crazy killer? Or am I this person who's going to 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:50.960 have my own life and my own identity and I 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:53.760 don't want to be known as the daughter of Diane 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:54.680 Downs anymore. 0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:57.680 By going to the media, this was a way for 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.120 Becky to take back control of her identity. 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:04.800 It was this thursd and this quenched for identity. But 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:09.560 also in addition to identity, it was also how much 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.400 do I want Diane to be a part of my 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.040 future going forward? How far do I let Diane in? 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.840 I think at the end it was, you know what, 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.240 I'm satisfied with that, and now I'm going to move 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.200 on and I'm going to decide what I want to 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.000 do with my life in terms of I'm going to 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.720 do to help people and be a person who's kind 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:30.400 to other people. 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:34.080 Eric teamed up with a reporter from The Oregonian, Lisa 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.440 Grace Ldneiser, and he began to shop the story around. 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:40.680 And at the time, I had really no idea what 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:42.840 I would do or how I would do it. But 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:47.520 Lisa and I approached several magazines and all of them 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:49.400 were like, how we'd loved that story. 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:52.840 After some wrestling with their own ideals about how they 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.200 wanted to present the story, Eric and Lisa finally decided 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:57.680 to work with Glamor Magazine. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:01.960 Well, I mean, there was that debate like, am I 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.960 just you know, a con do it in another tawdry 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:09.160 story about a killer? Or is this somebody who is 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.000 as a microcosm of what you find out when you 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.240 find out your family secrets? And is this a bigger 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.800 story about family secrets and what to do with them 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:22.040 once you find out about them? And so when we 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.840 sort of came from that angle, and then Glamour said 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.760 we'll take care of a sidebar about what happens when 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:30.840 you find out you know that you're related to this 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.080 over here. Then it seemed to take on more of 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.360 a little bit more of a public service story in 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:42.080 terms of that everybody has this dark side of a family, 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:46.440 the pedophile, the murderer, the person who did something ended 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.960 up in prison, and how to handle that. 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:53.160 Becky didn't make telling the story easy. She would be 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.600 cooperative at times and not at others. 0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:00.760 Well, it was tortuous at times. I mean, some days 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:04.040 she was really up and ready to tell her story, 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:09.080 and Lisa and I had gone over and rented a 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.800 condo for three or four days, and she would come 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.680 and talk at length about it, and then she'd drop 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.600 off the face of the earth for a couple of 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:21.040 weeks and you wouldn't hear from her. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:26.040 Becky's parents didn't respond well to her sudden interest in 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:29.679 outing herself in the media, and her diminishing relationship with 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.680 them at the time made the experience even more difficult, 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:37.120 not only for Becky but for Eric and Lisa as well. 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.320 I think that they sort of made a decision to 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.920 step back from helping her. And so it was up 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:46.600 and it was down, and it was God and the 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:51.280 devil and light and dark and all these things, and 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:55.040 that she was influenced by sometimes very small things, and 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:58.880 those very small things became big things. And so sometimes 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.280 the article was really on and really going, and then 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:03.320 other times it looked like it was going to blow up. 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.840 So part of the debate was are we writing an 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.199 article about something or are we being taken on a 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:14.040 ride that's never going to be an article anywhere for anyone, 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:16.919 and that we're just going along on this ride and 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.800 we're going to end up at the bottom of a 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:23.080 ravine in the rocks, And we wanted to be responsible 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:26.159 with somebody's life who was about to share their biggest 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:27.480 secret ever. 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:31.480 The article was published June twenty ten, and Becky's story 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.320 is officially out there in the world. This led to 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.840 many more media opportunities for Becky. 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:41.280 I'm not sure quite the timing of this, but Oprah 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:45.200 is finally winding down her show and Oprah says, would 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.240 you like to be on with me? And she comes 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.520 up very well, on Oprah, did you have you seen those. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.200 I didn't watch her tape yet with oka. 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:53.480 Yeah. 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:57.000 During the Oprah appearance, Oprah replays a clip from a 0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:00.520 nineteen eighty eight interview with Diane where Oprah tries to 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:03.880 find out the identity of Becky's father, but is only 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:07.680 given what Diane claimed was the date of conception, which 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.480 at the time was the only clue into her biological 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.520 father's identity that Becky had. There was only one other 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:18.840 person who supposedly knew the identity of Becky's father, and Rule. 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.600 Becky met with her on The twenty twenty Piece when 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:24.639 the show did a two hour feature on Becky in 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.960 the case and took her to meet Anne. When Becky 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:31.000 asked Anne Rule who her father was, she refused to 0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:31.960 give out his name. 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:36.800 Yeah. 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:43.679 I think Anne had made like a journalist deals to 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:47.680 get the story and be able to keep the anonymity. 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.800 And we all understand that. And I've figured, well, I mean, 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.760 to be able to get that story, you've got to 0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:58.480 promise whatever the person was to do. 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.800 I get this sense that he's right underneath our nose, 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:06.040 that he's right in the area. I get the sense 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:09.639 that he also knows that she exists well. 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.159 And I think the reason that you're probably right is 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:18.600 because Anne was able to have what appears to be 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:23.320 a conversation and that I think it's based also on 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:27.240 the fact that she was a best selling author and 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:31.200 people would come to her with details. It's like people 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:34.200 would stumble over there themselves to get her the story. 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:38.320 Anne Rule passed away in twenty fifteen, and thus the 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:42.479 mystery of Becky's father remains. She's wondered who he is 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.080 almost as long as she's known about her mother. 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:48.480 I mean, it would answer a lot of questions. She 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:52.120 was talking about that since the day she walked into 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:55.760 the pizza parlor. That's what she wanted, and that's what 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.960 she hopes for, and she believes that it's just right 0:20:58.960 --> 0:20:59.600 around the corner. 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.400 I came to meet Becky Baucock ten years ago while 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:13.199 filming a documentary. We remained in contact through Facebook and 0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:16.600 discussed the backlash we'd sometimes received by coming forward in 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:22.679 the media. Some people few believing we saw attention or fame. Others, 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:26.359 knowing our true intention, are desired to connect with others 0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:29.399 out there so that they don't feel alone that there 0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:32.160 are other women and men just like them who are 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:36.239 related to perpetrators. In Becky's case, she didn't know who 0:21:36.320 --> 0:21:40.480 her biodad was. I already knew my entire family background, 0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:44.480 which tremendously helped me to navigate my identity. So I 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:46.840 wanted to help Becky get the answer she needed to 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:50.000 know she isn't just like her mom, that part of 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:53.480 her is also rooted in another family, another story. 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:58.320 I think it would be an interesting journey to go on. 0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:02.440 I have a little bit of a disconnect from Diane Down's. 0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:05.000 I never referred to her as my mom, and if 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:09.160 anybody does, I quickly correct them and say biological because 0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:13.600 I was blessed to have great parents, which I talk 0:22:13.680 --> 0:22:16.240 about all the time because I want them to know 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:19.400 that even though I'm going on this journey, it has 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.359 nothing to do with them not being good parents. 0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:25.920 It was ten years ago now that I first came 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:28.919 forward with my secret. I had hidden the fact that 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:32.119 my father was a serial killer because I was terrified 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:35.320 of the public reaction and the potentials fallout it would 0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:39.040 have on my kids and myself. So I know exactly 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.119 the risk when it comes to answering the call to 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:46.160 find the truth. There is no control. Had I remained silent, 0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:48.840 I would have probably never have met Becky or the 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:51.159 numerous others that have reached out to me that have 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:52.360