1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: live on the air. Yes, I would like to say 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: something about that statement that you make every day about 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. But you say if you're looking for advice, 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: if you need advice, right, I just want to put 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: a disclaimer in here that there are times when I 10 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: don't feel like giving advice, so noted Shirley will always 11 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,959 Speaker 1: give advice. Mind is optional and it's only uh per 12 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: per letter basis. Okay, but sentiment anyway, Okay, we still 13 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: want to hear from you. We could be reading your 14 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buckle up, hold on tight. 16 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here. It is Strawberry Leaven. 17 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject to my husband is scared of 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: his family. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I've been married to a 19 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: wonderful man for almost three years. It's his second marriage 20 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: and my first. Everything is fine with us, except the 21 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: fact that his mom and his aunt don't like me. 22 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: My husband has never tried to fix this problem because 23 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: I think he's scared of the women and his family. Recently, 24 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: things got out of hand and my feelings were hurt. 25 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: Here's what happened. His mom had a sixtieth birthday party 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to go, but my husband insisted 27 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: that I go. When we got to the party, his 28 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: mother gave me a fake smile and barely spoke. His 29 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: aunt's avoided me so they wouldn't have to speak to me. 30 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: My husband and I sat with his family, and they 31 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: only talked to him the whole time. I was not 32 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: at all surprised to see his ex wife and daughter 33 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: there seated at the table right next to us. His 34 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: mother spoke to him but ignored me. His daughter spoke 35 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: to him but ignored me. His ex wife didn't speak 36 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 1: to either of us. I told him that I will 37 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 1: not be ignored by a child, and I was uncomfortable 38 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: and ready to leave. He said I couldn't go because 39 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: it would cause unnecessary drama. Then this big, burly aunt 40 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 1: Anne stood up to give a toast. She thanked the 41 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: family for coming, and she turned to my husband's ex 42 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: wife and told her that she will always be an 43 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: important part of their family. At that point, I walked out. 44 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: My husband came behind me, and I made him take 45 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: me home. We fussed and cussed all the way home, 46 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: and he said that he can't go against his family, 47 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: and I knew they didn't like me when we got married. 48 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: We're not speaking and I want to go upside his 49 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: head every time I think of what he said to me. 50 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: I want to cuss his aunt out too. Then I 51 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 1: handle this all wrong. How can we fig thing so 52 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: that this doesn't keep affecting our marriage? Please help? Wow? 53 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 1: All right, we meaning you and him, don't need to 54 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: fix anything. Okay, he needs to fix this. This is 55 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: his rude, ignorant family. And with marriage, you know, he's 56 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: supposed to stick with and support you. You are his wife, 57 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: Leave and cleave, that's what he's supposed to do. I mean, 58 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: if I were you, I probably wouldn't go to another 59 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: family outing or event that they had until he has 60 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: a family meeting and tells them to stop disrespecting you. 61 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: I mean, you called him a wonderful man, wonderful man 62 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: in the opening line of your letter, and that's what 63 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: a wonderful man would do. He would talk to his family, 64 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: find out what the problem is, and try to resolve 65 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: it so you would be comfortable. I'm sure, though, that 66 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: you left out a good portion of the details in 67 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: this letter, like why he got divorced. You know, what 68 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: was that all about? How you guys met, Why his 69 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: folks don't like you? Because he said you knew they 70 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: didn't like you when you guys got married. So I 71 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: think there's more to this story. I think that information 72 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: would be really helpful in this situation. Uh do they 73 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 1: just not like you? Or is there a reason they 74 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: don't like you? I'm not saying it's your fault, but 75 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 1: you know, we definitely need a little more information. Okay, 76 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: but I think you know, he should check them about 77 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:30,239 Speaker 1: how they treat you. I definitely think that. Uh, Steve, Well, 78 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 1: I don't know where to start with this best right here, Well, 79 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: you're definitely gonna get ready to say something crazy. I've 80 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: been married to this wonderful man for three years, his 81 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: second madge, my first everything fine would accept the fact 82 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: that his mama and his fat ass aunch don't like me. 83 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 1: She didn't say that, she said, big and bird bet 84 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: there is though they caught me some of the most 85 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: evil people, and don't tell me you're fat shaming and 86 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: all that, because I ain't. My husband has never tried 87 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: to fix this problem because I think he's scared of 88 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 1: the women and his family. I told you they was big. 89 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: I said that earlier, and then you say, I think 90 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: he's scared of Why you think he's scared because of 91 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: the size. Recently things got out of hand and my 92 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 1: feelings were hurt. He was would happen. His mama had 93 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 1: a sixtieth birthday, So I would just like to say, 94 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: as a sixty three old man, your mama and lays 95 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: younger than I am, and they throw in parties and 96 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: that's cool, but I don't have people over the house 97 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: and stuff like that no more. I just stopped doing it. 98 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: But anyway, they still doing it, and I didn't. You 99 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: didn't want to go, but your husband insisted that I go. 100 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: When we got to the party, is mama gave me 101 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: that fake smiling badly smoke spoke his fat ass aunts 102 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: avoided me so they wouldn't have to speak to me. 103 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: Big people don't like big See, big people don't like 104 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,799 Speaker 1: speaking to a lot of people because it takes extra breaths, 105 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 1: and they're trying to save all of them. Casey had 106 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: to go up stair into the bathroom. My husband, I said, 107 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: with his family, and they only talk to him the 108 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: whole time. What y'all ain't said, well, how are you doing? 109 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 1: Helen A none of that. Man. You're some somebody finn 110 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 1: to get told to kiss something? Just hold tight. I 111 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: was not at all surprised to see his ex wife 112 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: and his daughter there. What hold on, Steve, hold on. 113 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at 114 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter title 115 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: my husband is scared of his family will be back 116 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, 117 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject my husband is scared 118 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: of his family. Well, he got a right to be. 119 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: This is second marriage. You say he's a wonderful man, 120 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: but then you say, I think he's scared of the 121 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: woman is family that's called his mommy and his fat 122 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: ass aren't don't like Recently things got out of hand 123 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: and my feelings was hurt. And here's what happened. His 124 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: his mammy had a six hun That's what this is see, 125 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: that's what you that's what you called them when they're 126 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: not listening. Your mammy didn't speak. Hey, listen, she's gonna 127 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: be too many more mammies now, Your mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy. 128 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: That's what that's what your wife trying to get underhill skin. 129 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: Your mammy, mammy, mammy, My wife and my mom ain't 130 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: gonna beat your more mammy mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy that 131 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: type of action. So they gave us snake's face, didn't 132 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: fat ass answer, avoided me so they wouldn't have speak 133 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: to me. My husband and I said, with his family, 134 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: and they only talked to him the entire time. Here's 135 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: where the letter take a turn for me. I wasn't 136 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: at all surprised to see his ex wife and his 137 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: daughter there. They did this on purpose to you. Yeah, 138 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: and the seton chard had all y'all sitting there together, 139 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: right next to us. His daughter spoke to him but 140 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: ignored me. His ex wife didn't speak to either one 141 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: of us. She a real ex wife. She ain't speaking 142 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: to his ass all you and then got a little stupid. 143 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: I told him I will not be ignored by a 144 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: child what that's your problem with that ignorant ass baby. 145 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, ain't nobody spoke to you since you've 146 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: been after party? Then you tell your husband I will 147 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: not be ignored by a child. The damn adults is 148 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:13,719 Speaker 1: ignoring your ass. The child is just repeating learned behavior. 149 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: Everybody else ignores you, So why ain't I? So I 150 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: said I'll not be ignored by a child. I was 151 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: uncomfortable and ready to leave. You should have been uncomfortable. 152 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: He said, I couldn't go because he would cause unnecessary drama. 153 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: I'm not sitting up in this house all these fat 154 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: ass people. Ain't nobody talking to me. You've been talking 155 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: to everybody all night, and you can bring this baby 156 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,599 Speaker 1: yours up in here now. She ain't talking to me, 157 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: and your punk ass. That wife sitting hellas stank ass 158 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: over there, she ain't talking to nobody. Then his big 159 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: barely are I told you, I told you, Shirley. Then 160 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: his big barely un an same as my unactness stood 161 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 1: her big wide ass. No, hell no, I told you 162 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: some big ass people in his family. She thanked the 163 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 1: family for coming, and then she turned to my husband's 164 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: ex wife and told her that she would always be 165 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:18,559 Speaker 1: an important part of their family. Where she ain't. You 166 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: can make a toast all you want hert ass is 167 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,839 Speaker 1: active family, and she know it. Ain't nobody steal in 168 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: the family, scept the little girl ugly baby that is 169 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: not in the letter and should be. She didn't speak 170 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: to this woman. That's at this point I walked out. 171 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 1: My husband came behind me, and I made him take 172 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 1: me home. We fussed and cussed all the way home. 173 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: He said he can't go against his family. You saw 174 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: big Barrey ass on hand. Stand up, that's just on 175 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: the hand. Un Helen's big ass was over there, ain't 176 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: ain't agnes Is big ask was over there, Ain't Geraldine 177 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 1: was in there? And ain't Bernard dead? Now what you 178 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: need to do is try to figure out why he 179 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: got an ex wife sitting at the table that ain't 180 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: speaking to him and ain't nobody speaking to you? Why 181 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: does he have an ex wife because she have run 182 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,719 Speaker 1: up into the same problem I think she did. I 183 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: want to go upside his head every time I think 184 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: of what he said to me. I want to cuss 185 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: his aunt out too, that I handled this all wrong. 186 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: Yes you did. How can we fix things? So this. 187 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: Don't keep affecting our match. I can't help you right there. 188 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 1: I don't know what you to do. I want to 189 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 1: get back to the question where you say, did I 190 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: handled this all wrong? I believe you did, Shirley. I 191 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: want you to play the role very quickly. Now you 192 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: are the aunt at big Bareley, aunt Anne, stand up 193 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: and give the toast. Let's go all the way back 194 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 1: to when his daughter spoke to him but ignored me. Hi, Daddy, 195 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: Hi daddy. You don't see nobody else. Mama tell me 196 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,719 Speaker 1: not to speak to her, just to speak to you 197 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: all the way. Lean your little uglass over here. Do 198 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: you see me? I'm not ugly, daddy, You're not ugly. 199 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: Stop telling this baby she's cute. Listen to me, sweetheart. 200 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: You are not cute daddy. No, no, no, I don't 201 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: listen to me. That's who you look like. You look 202 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: just like you and on a girl. It ain't cute. Wow, 203 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 1: get up, Helen, say something. Watch this. I swear to 204 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: God I'll bust a captain. Say something, Helen. All right, um, 205 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: I'd like to tell you you got to post your 206 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM on 207 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,319 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget to check out the 208 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,679 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at forty 209 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,559 Speaker 1: six minutes after the from the Talk, it is Our 210 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: Girl Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to The 211 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show