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Speaker 1: My employee claims she can't use Microsoft Windows because it's

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Speaker 1: against her religion. I might have to fire her.

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Speaker 2: What religion is that?

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Speaker 1: The Steve Jobs religion? Yeah, he is my leader. I

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Speaker 1: recently hired a new employee for my team. Everyone thinks

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Speaker 1: she's a great addition, and she's clearly very talented, as

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Speaker 1: demonstrated in her interviews. The problem came up during onboarding

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Speaker 1: when we supplied her with her company laptop. She said

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Speaker 1: she would need it configured in a Linux based operating

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Speaker 1: system because her religion does not allow the use of

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Speaker 1: Apple or Microsoft owned operating systems.

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Speaker 2: What her religion is open source.

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Speaker 1: She says that she can fulfill all job duties without Windows,

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Speaker 1: and I'm inclined to believe her, but corporate policy dictates Windows,

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Speaker 1: and my management is not on board with her quest

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Speaker 1: for Linux. There's some hardline sects of Abrahamic religion, Judaism, Christianity,

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Speaker 1: Islam that go hard in on the idea that you

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Speaker 1: shouldn't use products that benefit from people who do things

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Speaker 1: you don't agree with and or aren't the same religion

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Speaker 1: as you. Maybe she's Latter Day six, maybe Amish. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what actions can either one I take as

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Speaker 1: manager to protect her rights and get upper management on

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Speaker 1: board with her religion, or two I take against her

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Speaker 1: with management for failing to fulfill her job duties. I

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Speaker 1: love how OP is literally like doesn't even care which

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Speaker 1: side if they fall on.

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Speaker 2: I just want to get through this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just like, just tell me the solution. I have

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Speaker 1: never come across any situation like this, and I'm completely

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Speaker 1: confounded as to how I should handle this. There is

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Speaker 1: a little update. I'm sure there's a lot of HR

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Speaker 1: or other people right now, or just like in general,

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Speaker 1: I think the question is like, how would you handle

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Speaker 1: this if you're an OP shooses like the HR.

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Speaker 2: If it's in the job description. It feels a little

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Speaker 2: sneaky to not say so, so I would let her go.

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Speaker 1: I think it depends on how critical that tool is.

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Speaker 1: After any meetings yesterday with management, HR Legal and IT,

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Speaker 1: we decided to give her a shot. It is working

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Speaker 1: to come up with a configuration for her that we

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Speaker 1: will also make available to other employees who want to

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Speaker 1: use it. HR and Legal felt that although she is

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Speaker 1: able to quest accommodation for a sincerely held religious belief,

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Speaker 1: this would have been an undue hardship to the company

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Speaker 1: and it would be okay for us to deny her request,

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Speaker 1: but ultimately decided that she can fulfill her job requirements

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Speaker 1: without Window. Just found out that she doesn't have an iPhone.

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Speaker 1: She's gotten Android.

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Speaker 2: Android is open source too.

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Speaker 1: Right, Android is owned by Google. You don't have a

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Speaker 1: problem with Google and the defense. What are you gonna do?

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Speaker 1: I can't even name another operating system.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, get a flip phone, I guess, yeah, get go

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Speaker 3: straight Nokia, Yeah, Nokia, Yeah, well, we got a Nokia.

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Speaker 2: Come on, come on.

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Speaker 1: But we're curious, like, again, what would you do in

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Speaker 1: this position? You know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we want to know what you think about

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Speaker 3: this whole hr debacle. But we also just love hearing

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Speaker 3: from our public subscribers. Oh yeah, and public subscriber Fresh

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Speaker 3: from the Coven commented on the video about the periods

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Speaker 3: right and said, my entire life, I get my period

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Speaker 3: between the first and the nineteen no rhyme or reason,

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Speaker 3: like an evil little demon waiting to ruin my favorite

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Speaker 3: white sweats lull. And then Maggie Golden says, ladies, educate

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Speaker 3: your men, tell them, which I guess is meaning period

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Speaker 3: be inconsistent as fuck. There's always a high chance of

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Speaker 3: us loving people's comments. Right Throw your answers in the

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Speaker 3: comments right now.

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Speaker 1: What was the next time I was catfished by a

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Speaker 1: crazy date who believes she's dating a Marvel superhero bro?

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Speaker 2: I are man?

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Speaker 3: More like I have no idea what you're talking about,

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Speaker 3: because you are crazy?

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Speaker 1: Want to date thor? More like I thor? You want

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Speaker 1: to date with thor?

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Speaker 2: More like?

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Speaker 1: You're a bore? Yeah, that's right, you're boring you. I

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Speaker 1: said it. I'll stand by it.

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Speaker 3: You want to have a shot with hot guy more

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Speaker 3: like more like you have cocks fries because I don't

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Speaker 3: want you to ceb anymore.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, when when you take something and you lose

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Speaker 1: it in the middle, but then bring it back around

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Speaker 1: to make it just like insanely ridiculous, that's the bat like.

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Speaker 1: We don't even want like a legit joke. We want

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Speaker 1: like it goes weird in the middle and then it

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Speaker 1: just has this like grand finale of just like I

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Speaker 1: don't know what just happened, but I'm here for it.

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Speaker 3: But I'm here for the ride, all right, dog, give

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Speaker 3: me one more, one more, Avenger, one more.

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Speaker 1: Let's see. Uh uh a black widow. More like, uh,

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Speaker 1: you're about to be widowed for life because no one

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Speaker 1: will ever marry you, and you'll die in a grave alone.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, fuck your family Jesus. All right,

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Speaker 1: there we go. Now we're ready to start. Yes, all right,

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Speaker 1: we got a long one, So buckle up, boys and girls.

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Speaker 1: This girl and I met on Instagram. In the pictures

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Speaker 1: she had sent, she looked very much my kind ooh magna,

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Speaker 1: and I enjoy the conversation with her, and so I

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Speaker 1: thought I would ask her out.

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Speaker 2: Good idea, it makes sense, checks out.

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Speaker 1: We decided to go to the movies. Now this is

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Speaker 1: where all my problems begin.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm on the phone with her trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out where she is when she says, oh, look behind you,

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Speaker 1: I can see you. I turn around and god behold,

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Speaker 1: I see someone completely different from the pictures she had sent.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, like, how different? Are we talking? John?

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Speaker 1: In the photos she looked about five six, very pretty

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Speaker 1: face and a nice bow day.

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Speaker 2: But donca donc.

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Speaker 1: The badonka donk was badonka donkin.

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Speaker 2: The badonka donk was honkin.

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Speaker 1: What I saw before my eyes was a four foot four,

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Speaker 1: extremely overweight girl that looked completely different from what I

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Speaker 1: had seen. Four foot four. I think you're probably over

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Speaker 1: exaggerating a little.

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Speaker 2: Four foot four that's very small.

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Speaker 1: That's probably like, that's like legally defined a little person.

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Speaker 1: Ers are close to it. I don't know the exact law,

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Speaker 1: but I have to imagine.

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Speaker 2: Four under four eleven.

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Speaker 3: I think I know this because my ex's girlfriend is

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Speaker 3: was four eleven, is four eleven. She's still four eleven.

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Speaker 1: And so's she's it's four eleven or above. Right, Are

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Speaker 1: you saying that four eleven or below is like the

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Speaker 1: legal classification?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like under four eleven.

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Speaker 3: Dwarfism Oh no, no, no, sorry sorry, defined as an

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Speaker 3: adult height of four foot ten inches.

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Speaker 1: Ah, there we go. There we go.

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Speaker 3: The average adult height among people of Dwarfism is four feet.

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Speaker 1: There we go. So we'll see if OPI is exaggerating.

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Speaker 1: I feel like he might be, but we shall see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. Now.

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Speaker 1: At first I was a bit weirded out, but I thought, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: it's not all about looks, and continue to date without

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Speaker 1: calling it out, as I enjoyed our conversations prior.

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Speaker 2: Nice, Op, There we go.

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Speaker 1: The class act seems good, but in parentheses, he says,

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Speaker 1: a huge mistake in hindsight. Oh my, we go off

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Speaker 1: to book our tickets, find our seats, and settle it.

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Speaker 1: So now the movie is about to start and she

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Speaker 1: hasn't so a word. So I start some sort of

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Speaker 1: conversation with her, but every time I try to say anything,

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Speaker 1: I instantly get shot down because she's busy chatting with

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Speaker 1: her friends.

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Speaker 3: Bro, what's the point of going on a date if

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Speaker 3: you're just gonna chat with your friends? And also, first

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Speaker 3: date at the movies is a tough one to make

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Speaker 3: conversation at.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you gotta go for like ice cream or

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Speaker 1: coffee or food or something like.

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Speaker 3: Have be able to speak for my herind's James. His

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Speaker 3: go to first date is always ice cream, and then

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Speaker 3: it's either go to first date is ice cream and

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Speaker 3: the second date is usually a hike. And I think

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Speaker 3: those are perfect ones.

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Speaker 1: That's a good that's a good one too, combo right there,

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Speaker 1: unless you me. Actually, I was about to say, what

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Speaker 1: if someone's like anti cold foods, that's like a dietary restriction.

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Speaker 1: But it's like, if someone doesn't want to eat cold foods,

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Speaker 1: then maybe that's not Ain't it so fine? I thought

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Speaker 1: let's wait until the movie starts. The movie begins, and

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Speaker 1: I try to move a little bit closer to her,

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Speaker 1: but she keeps on shuffling away, so I just let

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Speaker 1: it go. She then turns around and says something about

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Speaker 1: the movie, which I can't quite remember, but a remark

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Speaker 1: has to be made. This girl has never brushed her teeth.

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Speaker 1: I mean never, Oh God. Her breath absolutely stank and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't even look in her general direction while she

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Speaker 1: was speaking.

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Speaker 2: Rand said, that's rough, Bro.

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Speaker 1: That is terrible. But this wasn't even the problem. That's

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Speaker 1: not even where the real problems begin. Sam.

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Speaker 3: I love how like Opie is like. She looked nothing

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Speaker 3: like the pictures, but that's not a problem. She won't

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Speaker 3: talk to me at the gate of the movie, that's

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Speaker 3: not a problem. Her breath smells like a hundred sailors

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Speaker 3: died in the barrels of a whale, but that's not

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Speaker 3: a problem.

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Speaker 1: I cannot wait to see what the real problem is.

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Speaker 1: A bit into this movie, this girl says she wants

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Speaker 1: to tell me something. Now. What she told me next

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Speaker 1: absolutely shocked me.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 3: What is she telling you that's shocking you more than

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Speaker 3: that terrible breath? And the fact that she four foot

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Speaker 3: four and obese.

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Speaker 2: Like, what could it mean? Dude?

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Speaker 1: She says that she's been doing something called shifting.

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Speaker 2: What does what? What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: This? Shifting is where she transfers her consciousness into another

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Speaker 1: reality and lives her life with other people.

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Speaker 2: Bro, this sounds like everything everywhere all at once. Have

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Speaker 2: you seen that movie yet?

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Speaker 1: I just saw it this weekend. What do you think

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Speaker 1: was super awesome?

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Speaker 2: So good? So good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Really really really good, really really dude.

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Speaker 3: I was like just invested, Like when I started it,

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Speaker 3: I was just invested in like the familial story, like

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Speaker 3: it could have. I almost felt like it could have

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Speaker 3: not had all of the sci fi stuff and just

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Speaker 3: with like the regular familial dynamics.

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Speaker 2: I was hooked.

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Speaker 3: But then it had all the sci fi stuff, and

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Speaker 3: then I was doubly hooked.

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Speaker 1: I was a hater at first. I was literally just

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Speaker 1: like man, this is this is boring? And then it

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Speaker 1: finally picked up and I'm like okay. And then once

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Speaker 1: it got to the part where it's like the emotional

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Speaker 1: like you know, just facts about life hitting you in

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Speaker 1: your fucking soul. That's why I was like, Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is this is this is awesome.

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Speaker 2: I also watched it a little high and it was

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Speaker 2: made it better.

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Speaker 1: I also watch see when I get high, I become

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Speaker 1: a hater. So really everything irritates me and not a hater,

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Speaker 1: but like like, for instance, I will shift a thousand times.

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Speaker 1: I cannot sit comfortably. I have to like John's shifter,

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Speaker 1: so like I'm a shifter. She's dating a Marvel character

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Speaker 1: that she's deeply in love with, that she's been with

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Speaker 1: since she was ten.

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Speaker 2: What.

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Speaker 1: I am so glad that she has shared her for

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Speaker 1: special this is this is so perfect. This is a

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Speaker 1: great date conversation. Yeah, no red flags here, none zero,

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Speaker 1: all green flags abound. Now at this point, the blood

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Speaker 1: is literally rushing to my head. I have so many questions.

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Speaker 1: This is funny. Why did she agree to go on

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Speaker 1: a date if she's already dating someone in her different reality?

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Speaker 3: I love how he's already operated within her weird world.

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Speaker 3: Is like like, oh, she's already dating someone in this

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Speaker 3: other universe?

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Speaker 2: Like why is she here? Is she cheating on this

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Speaker 2: Marvel character?

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Speaker 1: Why did she never bring this up? And the biggest

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Speaker 1: thought of all is this girl freaking insane?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Yes she is.

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Speaker 1: I'm very off put now and I just lean the

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Speaker 1: other direction and try to watch the movie without seeming

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Speaker 1: too upset. Keep in mind, I just got rejected by

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Speaker 1: this catfish because she's dating a Marvel character in a

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Speaker 1: different reality. So I just want to finish this stupid

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Speaker 1: date and leave.

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Speaker 3: Makes sense, poor guy, that's a rough one. Yeah, don't

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Speaker 3: you hate it when that happens. But you're going a

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Speaker 3: date with a girl and she's already dating a Marvel

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Speaker 3: character in her mind.

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Speaker 1: And she's a foot shorter than she said, and she's

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Speaker 1: never breaked her teeth in her life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, that's just the worst.

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Speaker 1: When the movie is finally over, I try to explain

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Speaker 1: that I'm gonna leave, uh, but she says she's really

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Speaker 1: hungry and wants to go for a bite. We go

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Speaker 1: to a wings place and she ordered literally five plates

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Speaker 1: of wings. At this point, I just want to leave,

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Speaker 1: so I don't order anything five plates.

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Speaker 3: How could a four foot four person even consume five

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Speaker 3: plates of wings?

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Speaker 2: That's like her whole body weight? Bro?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah easily. While we were waiting for

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Speaker 1: her food, I asked her about the whole shifting thing.

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Speaker 1: What she said next made me even more furious. If

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Speaker 1: you can believe it. She says that she's been into

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Speaker 1: shifting for two years and that she's deeply in love

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Speaker 1: with this Marvel character. So I think that maybe she's

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Speaker 1: actually able to somehow do this, and if so, I

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Speaker 1: ask her how she manages to do it.

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Speaker 3: I love how OPI is just so accepting. It's just

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Speaker 3: like like, oh, yeah, that's so interesting. Tell me more

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Speaker 3: about that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He's like, all right, let's let's assume that's the case.

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Speaker 1: So like, how does it work? You know, what's what's

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Speaker 1: the what's the logistics? Good guy, this is so funny.

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Speaker 1: He gets mad at this part. This is amazing. This

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Speaker 1: girl tells me that in the last two years, she's

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Speaker 1: only managed to do it once, yes, once in all caps.

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Speaker 1: Ro this him off. She's only shifted once in her

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Speaker 1: make believe world in two years. Who cares, bro, She's like.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, no logic holds here.

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Speaker 3: But also like so clingy, bro, you meet this Marvel

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Speaker 3: character one time in a dream, and now you guys

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Speaker 3: are dating for the next ten years.

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Speaker 1: God, she had a one hour dream about a Marvel

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Speaker 1: character and now apparently she is dating him and loves him,

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Speaker 1: and that's why she doesn't want me to get near her.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Wow, this might be the worst date

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Speaker 1: of all time.

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Speaker 2: This is impressed terrible.

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Speaker 1: This girl must be absolutely insane. But what happened next?

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Speaker 1: That was the final straw?

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Speaker 2: Bro, You've had so many final straws.

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Speaker 3: Dude, you are out of straws, my guy, there are

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Speaker 3: no more straws that this point.

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Speaker 2: You aren't negative three or four straw.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mention yet, but throughout this entire date, she

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Speaker 1: had a very bad cough and I kept thinking, Wow,

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Speaker 1: she must be like asthmatic or something, so I asked

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Speaker 1: her about it. She replies, Oh, no, I just have COVID.

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Speaker 2: What dude, this is.

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Speaker 1: The girl ever?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Opie says all caps. What you're just telling me about this? No,

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately it was too late for me to leave. I

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Speaker 1: try to leave. No, no, no, no, no, that's the

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Speaker 1: perfect time for you to leave. Bro.

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Speaker 2: You should have left like four red flags ago.

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Speaker 1: Literally. I try to lean back and stay away from

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Speaker 1: her and try not to catch COVID.

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Speaker 2: Why are you still there? Bro?

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Speaker 3: Leave?

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Speaker 1: Dude. This is not good. And the moment she is

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Speaker 1: done eating, I thank her for the date. Hey are

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Speaker 1: the food and jolts out of there? Bro, she ordered

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Speaker 1: five city pays for it? What is going on? I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: Opie is the nicest guy in the world and he

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Speaker 3: has no self respect.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 3: No, oh my god, pays for five plates of wings

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Speaker 3: for this? This freaking crazy ass Like sleepy what what

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Speaker 3: are the what are the seven Dwarves?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sleepy, drowsy, crank.

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Speaker 2: Grumpy, grumpy. I feel like she's grumpy at this point.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's it. Wow, I this I've went through emotional rollercoaster.

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Speaker 2: That is terrible.

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Speaker 3: I am so yeah, I am so pissed on Opie's behalf.

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Speaker 3: Like bro, get out of there. Bro, she's crazy. She's

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Speaker 3: not good for you.

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Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, Ope, not good for you.

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Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, reach out to us. We'll

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Speaker 1: put you in the okop Patreon discord and we'll find

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Speaker 1: your love.

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Speaker 2: Yes.