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Speaker 1: I need to ask a question to the room. It's

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. Is it okay to

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Speaker 1: make fun of the dead? I think it depends not

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Speaker 1: the recently dead.

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Speaker 2: I mean like like long time ago. How far back

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Speaker 2: can we go? Like early nineteen hundred's. Oh yeah, but

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Speaker 2: can I roast Napoleon? Oh? Are we okay with that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I take down Napoleon today?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: All right, you take them down more?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure. I only ask because I call a lady

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Speaker 1: and tell her I'm the new owner of the cemetery

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Speaker 1: where her great great grandparents are buried.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, it's actually maybe too soon. Still, I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure she doesn't even know who they are. I literally

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Speaker 2: say their names. She's never heard of that.

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Speaker 1: But I've decided some changes need to be made immediately.

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Speaker 2: In your phone tap right now, Brooking Jeffrey's phone taps

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Speaker 2: on the twenties. Hello, Hi, is this Kim? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Who's calling Kim from the Detroit Metro Area High School?

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Speaker 3: That's me? But who's this?

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Speaker 1: My name is Barry Bury the Grave and I've been

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Speaker 1: trying to reach you for quite some time.

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Speaker 2: I am so glad I got ahold of you.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, what is this called about, right?

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Speaker 1: I'm the owner of the Little Hill East Cemetery where

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Speaker 1: your great great grandparents were laid to rest back in

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Speaker 1: eighteen eighty nine.

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Speaker 3: My great great grandparents.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know Cecilia and Thaddeus.

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Speaker 3: No, no, not really.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you've done a family tree, then you've probably

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Speaker 1: seen their names, right, I mean I.

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Speaker 3: Am maybe a long time ago. I saw them, but

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Speaker 3: I don't really know much about them. What is it

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Speaker 3: going to do with me?

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Speaker 1: So you're a descendant of them, and here's the situation.

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Speaker 1: Being the new owner of this cemetery. I've decided to

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Speaker 1: change up the business model a little bit. Make it

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Speaker 1: a subscription service.

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Speaker 3: What what are you talking about? It it's a graveyard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know this is probably way too much information,

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Speaker 1: but cemeteries don't really make a lot of money these

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Speaker 1: days unless you make it a monthly subscriber based fee.

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Speaker 3: What are you even saying?

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, for nineteen ninety nine a month, we can

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Speaker 1: keep your relatives Cecilia and Thaddeus here with us, resting

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Speaker 1: comfortably in their current plot.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that a nice thought? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: But I've never heard of anything.

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Speaker 1: Like this, Like, yeah, okay, well, it's a new thing

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Speaker 1: that we're trying out here. But before you decide whether

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Speaker 1: or not to take advantage of this fantastic opportunity, the

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Speaker 1: subscription does come with a few perks.

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Speaker 3: Is this really happening? I mean, this is so unbelievable.

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Speaker 2: It sure is.

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Speaker 1: It's quite the opportunity because we'll give you edging and

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Speaker 1: mowing of their area twice a month now instead of

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Speaker 1: just once a year.

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Speaker 3: Oh what a year. You guys should be doing that

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Speaker 3: all the time. That's like, that's just natural us.

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Speaker 1: Right, Why for nineteen ninety nine you will and when

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Speaker 1: we host outdoor movie nights, their headstones will be roped

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Speaker 1: off and no one anymore.

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Speaker 2: Is going to be allowed to sit on them. But

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Speaker 2: they did last summer.

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Speaker 3: Last summer. Yeah, last summer you had people sitting on

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Speaker 3: my great grandparents for movie nights and a cemetery.

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Speaker 2: It's actually great great grandparents.

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Speaker 3: Whatever and whatever.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: This seems really really icky. It seems like you you're

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Speaker 3: shaking me down from my relatives. So this is just wrong.

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Speaker 2: Listen, how's this?

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Speaker 1: I'll even throw in a complimentary beyond the grave social

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Speaker 1: media package for them? What is that you will set

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Speaker 1: up a Twitter for them.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: No, we have fun with it.

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Speaker 1: You can tell us which political candidates they would support.

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Speaker 1: They can get into petty arguments with each.

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Speaker 2: Other over internet trolls.

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Speaker 3: Can you just stop, please just stop. Wait, this is

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Speaker 3: just going way too far. This is just beyond weird.

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Speaker 1: We don't have to get political. We can go a

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Speaker 1: little bit lighter with the tweets. How about this not

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Speaker 1: to flex, but have lost a lot of weight.

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Speaker 2: Since the funeral? Hashtag body goals?

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Speaker 3: What what are you even saying? Well, that's ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: They died a long time ago. It's like centuries ago.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, we're doing this.

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Speaker 2: Look at it this way.

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Speaker 1: It's the perfect time because we've got a Bogo deal

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Speaker 1: going on and you've got two bodies here, so you

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Speaker 1: could save even more by bundling.

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Speaker 3: Did you just say bundling bodies? Do you even realize

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Speaker 3: what you just said?

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Speaker 1: You have to bundle or you're going to lose the

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Speaker 1: family discount, which doesn't make financial sense.

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Speaker 3: Well, this is really really insensitive. It's very craft. It's

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Speaker 3: just growth, and I just I can't believe you're the

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Speaker 3: owner of a Cemeterian I can't believe this.

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Speaker 1: I feel bad about making you feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: Well you should.

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Speaker 1: Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you a

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Speaker 1: discount code. No, when you're ready, go to the website

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Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey, and you'll get Hulu for two months

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Speaker 1: free courtesy great great grandparents.

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Speaker 3: Poke who I don't even understand.

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Speaker 1: It's Brooke and Jeffrey and that's actually a morning radio

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Speaker 1: show that does pranks on people like this one.

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Speaker 3: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry about this, Kim, but my real name is

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Speaker 1: jeff and your sister Linda set you up for a

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Speaker 1: phone tap on the radio.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 3: You talk about bundling bodies. I'm like, what is this?

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Speaker 1: But we're trying to help you out, give you a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a deal, right. We're like the insurance companies,

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Speaker 1: you know how they bundle home and auto. We're bundling

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Speaker 1: grandpa and grandma. Sorry, great great grandpa and grandma.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, sounds like a great deal. I can't believe

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Speaker 3: I didn't take advantage of that.

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Speaker 2: Cecilia and Fattius, thank you for that.

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Speaker 3: I've never heard of them, but of course

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Speaker 2: It's broken, Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties