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Speaker 1: This is Me Eater podcast coming at you shirtless, severely

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Speaker 1: bug bitten in my case underwear. Listening to podcast, you

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Speaker 1: can't predict anything presented by First like creating proven versatile

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Speaker 1: hunting apparel from Marino bass layers to technical outerwear for

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Speaker 1: every hunt. First Light, go farther, stay longer, tell me

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Speaker 1: one of the machines on Phil, She was, honestly, Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just did a bunch of math in

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Speaker 1: my head, but I screwed it up because I wasn't

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Speaker 1: thinking about how Karen and Phil aren't married well each other.

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Speaker 1: This room is full of married we are not. This

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Speaker 1: room is full of married people. There's ten married people

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Speaker 1: in this room. But I was accounting couples and I

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Speaker 1: kind of filling crane as a couple, and then realize

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Speaker 1: that that four point eight of us will end up divorced,

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Speaker 1: not me, as my friend Ronnie wants. My friend Ronnie said,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to lose half my ship. So you're

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Speaker 1: making Danielle rubbing her belly. She's rubbing her belly. But

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Speaker 1: you'll be glad to hear this. I just learned that.

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Speaker 1: You know, everybody says half of all marriages end divorce.

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Speaker 1: That's because like a repeat offenders. So yeah, the repeat

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Speaker 1: offenders blow the statistic because every time you get every

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Speaker 1: time you get married, you have a much higher likelihood

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Speaker 1: of divorce. Like you if you if you get married

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Speaker 1: your first time you get divorced, it's like you go

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Speaker 1: into it being like, oh, now I'm gonna settle in

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Speaker 1: for real. No, the next time, it's even better chances

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Speaker 1: that you'll get divorced. I'm not going to mention names,

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Speaker 1: but I know that a few that have skewed those numbers.

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Speaker 1: But they think that they're they think they're like getting

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Speaker 1: to the real one now, but they're not. They're getting there.

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Speaker 1: They're stepping into hotter waters than they were in a

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Speaker 1: minute ago with their last marriage. So I was, uh,

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Speaker 1: what's what's this when you mean when you find out

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Speaker 1: something good? Heartened? Is that a word heartened? I was

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Speaker 1: hartened to learn that only four point eight of us, well, no,

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Speaker 1: that's if you guys were married. I was harten to

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Speaker 1: learn that only four of us are gonna wind up divorced.

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Speaker 1: H But if someone said I'm gonna come in here,

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Speaker 1: if someone said I'm gonna come in this room and

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Speaker 1: shoot for you, I'd be nervous as ship. It's got

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Speaker 1: to differ on like demographics though. Yeah, Indiana and Louisiana

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Speaker 1: lowest divorce rates. Oklahoma of all places in Nevada obviously

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Speaker 1: highest divorce and I would imagine that boomers are leading

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Speaker 1: the charge on divorces. No, it's going to because younger

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Speaker 1: people are getting married and not getting divorced. We're here,

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Speaker 1: like Gen Z and millennials, living in sin before we

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Speaker 1: get married, and so we like suss out whether or

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Speaker 1: not it's gonna work where it's your generation was doing

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Speaker 1: less of living and we're not boomers. Buddy, what are

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Speaker 1: you why? X? I'm sorry, man, I lived in a

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Speaker 1: lot of sin. Man. I know I'm older than any spencer,

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Speaker 1: but come on, how far from being a boomer are you?

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Speaker 1: Quite a way? I'm sorry, then that's not I don't know.

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Speaker 1: What are you like? The greatest generation? X? Man? The

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Speaker 1: greatest generation? I mean, yeah, I mean the great generation.

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Speaker 1: I was like my old man, greatest movie music. The

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Speaker 1: guys have fought in whiskey. Whiskey too. Yeah, boomers are

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Speaker 1: about seventy ish. I think now you might be sitting

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Speaker 1: there ask yourself, why are all these married people talking

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Speaker 1: and why did this? Um? Uh, why did my thing

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Speaker 1: that tells me I got a new podcast? If I'm

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Speaker 1: a subscriber to the Meter podcast, why did it say, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you got a podcast on a not normal day, like

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Speaker 1: right now. On Mondays you get um the show. On

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Speaker 1: Wednesdays you get the trivia show. But now I don't

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Speaker 1: tell day it is either way. Uh. Four out of

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Speaker 1: four out of ten marriages and in divorce, two out

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Speaker 1: of seven days will not have this podcast delivered. It's

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Speaker 1: not Monday or Wednesday. Um. The reason that is is

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Speaker 1: because we we have we struck a special deal with

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Speaker 1: T Mobile to explain, as my lovely wife, he's never

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Speaker 1: been on the show before. I feel like me not

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Speaker 1: having a my own microphone is going to get real

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Speaker 1: awkward at some point when I'm pulling the microphone away

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Speaker 1: from you. Yeah, this this podcast brought to you by

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Speaker 1: T Mobile, So we're doing a special one just for them.

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Speaker 1: So that's why it's here now. Uh. And then the

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Speaker 1: thing is we're gonna talk lead. Okay, you know what

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Speaker 1: else I found out doing my my three seconds of

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Speaker 1: research about divorce. I guess what the highest divorce months

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Speaker 1: are January February January. Why January February, Seasons winding Down,

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Speaker 1: Chickens come home to roost. Uh. So we're we're gonna

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Speaker 1: we're doing a special episode where we have a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people, UM, and we talked. We're talking about how

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Speaker 1: not to get divorced because of how to live how

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Speaker 1: to live an outdoor lifestyle and avoid the UM a

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Speaker 1: travel intensive outdoor lifestyle where one or both participants in

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Speaker 1: a marriage engage and activity that like causes a lot

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Speaker 1: of being gone, a lot of things that feel extremely

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Speaker 1: important that probably aren't that important, and just like a

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Speaker 1: lot of marital strife, relationship strife, marriage or not. UM,

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Speaker 1: I can tell you, I can tell you totally straight

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Speaker 1: face that it has that that that ship, the hunting

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Speaker 1: stuff has caused problems in my relationship, UM since day one?

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Speaker 1: Explain that how is hunting caused a problem in our relationship?

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Speaker 1: Just being gone and having like this thing that seems

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Speaker 1: super important. You know, it's just like it just causes complications.

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Speaker 1: You don't agree that it does. This is gonna lead

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Speaker 1: into my this is gonna lead into the main thing here,

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Speaker 1: my wife's lab my wife's speechlessness. When I said that

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Speaker 1: the reason that we brought Spencer, and Spencer is gonna

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Speaker 1: ask questions because this way you can like right. Steve's

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Speaker 1: words were he wanted me to guide to see the

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Speaker 1: talking points because he has a lot to say, which

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Speaker 1: is good because it will make up for Katie and

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Speaker 1: I want and as much so we have. We have

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Speaker 1: five couples to talk about. And when we talked about this,

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Speaker 1: we talked about we brought up a term that no

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Speaker 1: one likes and that I pointed, I've never used my

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Speaker 1: entire life, but there's this term like it gets bandied about, um,

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Speaker 1: hunting widow. Okay, and then Spencer is telling me that

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Speaker 1: Shelby grew up because you grew up an egg and

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Speaker 1: you grew up with what kind of widow? Harvest widow,

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Speaker 1: which sounds like a machine. It does. Um. I would

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Speaker 1: say I had never heard of a hunting widow prior

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Speaker 1: to this either, But harvest widow, for those of you

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Speaker 1: that don't know, it's a partner of a farmer who

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Speaker 1: essentially lives their life as a widow from September to

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Speaker 1: November because their partners are gone. Growing up, I would

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Speaker 1: go weeks with just seeing my dad and passing um.

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Speaker 1: Even though he was only a mile or two away

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Speaker 1: from me at any given point. Uh, he just had

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Speaker 1: no schedule whatsoever. Um. And I think that's been the

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Speaker 1: biggest difference between a hunting widow and a harvest widow

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Speaker 1: is at least I have some idea where and when

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Speaker 1: Spencer is. And the other difference probably is that there's

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Speaker 1: sort of this like yet to feed the whole nation

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Speaker 1: and like a lot of pressure. Yeah you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's like this whole like who can argue

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Speaker 1: with someone like harvesting crops? Yeah, and it's just like

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Speaker 1: it's like the most sort of foundational thing that can't

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Speaker 1: be ignored, right, and it's so dependent on so many factors. Right.

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Speaker 1: So my dad farms with his brothers, but then once

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Speaker 1: they're done harvesting, he goes and he helps all the

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Speaker 1: other family farmers and he's driving truck or he's uh,

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Speaker 1: they're like bringing crop pots of chili over for their friends.

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Speaker 1: And um, just because you're on on your land doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean harvests. Why did you explained that, Because I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of people be like, well, how big if

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Speaker 1: a farm is he? But yeah, like they basically there's

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Speaker 1: like one combine that serves could serve hundreds of farms. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: my my dad. They own their combine, but everyone in

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Speaker 1: like twenty miles uses their combine. So it's everyone's taking

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Speaker 1: their turns. And then once that's none, it's cabine. So

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Speaker 1: there very busy. Then you're a cow widdow. Yes, uh

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Speaker 1: Brody and um carry did you take Brody's name? I did? Nice? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: only partially though, because she picks and chooses. You found,

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Speaker 1: you found offense with the word, you take offense at

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Speaker 1: the term hunting wid It just makes me cringe it

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Speaker 1: just because it makes you seem helpless or what it does.

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Speaker 1: It kind of comes with that that it just has

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Speaker 1: that feeling of something that maybe I don't have a

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Speaker 1: say in. It's like a sort of like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: a helpless sort of you know at home with the kids.

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Speaker 1: You know, everybody should sympathize for me, but I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't really think that. That's how I think of

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Speaker 1: the whole thing. I mean, the whole hunting and outdoors

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Speaker 1: saying is something we do as a family, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know we do okay, you know, when he's gone.

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Speaker 1: It's not a it's not a huge inconvenience I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that very well, but um, honest, is here with

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Speaker 1: his wife, Jennifer. Jennifer had you had to take on

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Speaker 1: being a hunting widow. You thought it sells, it sells

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Speaker 1: guys short, Well, I mean, yeah, I guess you look

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Speaker 1: at the flip side of that. And uh, when I

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Speaker 1: leave for work, you know, I kind of expect him

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Speaker 1: to hold the fore doown and he does. He does. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's no toilet skin clean, but uh, that's that's all right.

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Speaker 1: You know, the kids are probably fed better than when

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Speaker 1: I'm there, and they're alive, so we're doing doing pretty good,

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Speaker 1: I think on that front. And no one says you're

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Speaker 1: a work widower. No, that's yeah. And I did it

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Speaker 1: to him for quite a few years left in the

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Speaker 1: summer before we had kids. And then uh, Kelsey, um,

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Speaker 1: our favorite wildlife artist is here, sans seth. Yeah, Danielle

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Speaker 1: and I are currently being widowed. And Chester's wife Danielle

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Speaker 1: is here very pregnant and is currently widowed. And uh,

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Speaker 1: how's your Kelsey's an artist? Danielle as a photographer wedding photographer?

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Speaker 1: Is that wine and dollar kicking ass right now? It's

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Speaker 1: kicking ass? But I see a lot of marriages, and

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Speaker 1: I see a lot of you know, that's my job

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Speaker 1: is to see witness's good for your business. Do you

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Speaker 1: do you go to something, Do you go to photograph

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Speaker 1: some weddings and think there's no way these people should

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Speaker 1: be getting married? Um? I think. I think, honestly, I've

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Speaker 1: noticed in a couple of weddings that yeah, not just

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Speaker 1: like oh, they shouldn't be married, but like you can

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Speaker 1: kind of can you can kind of tell the connection

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Speaker 1: and like, especially when I'm photographing them one on one, Um,

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Speaker 1: it's just super you can kind of tell the couple

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Speaker 1: that just are some I'm really bad with words, but

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Speaker 1: there and like it makes it's just like I'm just

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Speaker 1: there and I get to really document them just being

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Speaker 1: themselves versus there's other people that still have chemistry but

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Speaker 1: just need more guidance with like intimacy and like how

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Speaker 1: to be intimate in a photo without being intimate, you know,

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Speaker 1: in a way. So I don't know what that means.

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Speaker 1: I don't either. I have also photographed some weddings, and

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Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest indicators that I've noticed,

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Speaker 1: Granted I have not seen any of these people actually

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Speaker 1: get a divorce, but it's how much they fake it

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Speaker 1: for the photos. Yes, you will see so much. That's

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Speaker 1: what I was trying to get out. You can kind

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Speaker 1: of tell like the true genuine like wow, these guys

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Speaker 1: are meant for each other. And then also you can

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Speaker 1: tell like maybe a year, maybe two years, right. And

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Speaker 1: I haven't really experienced a lot of it because a

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Speaker 1: lot of my couples have just been awesome and like

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Speaker 1: very much there and present, which is amazing. But I

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Speaker 1: have a question based on Steve statistic. Have you ever

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Speaker 1: photographed a couple and then later photographed one of the

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Speaker 1: couple with a different spouse. No, but I have photographed

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Speaker 1: a wedding and then they broke up that night. So

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Speaker 1: the night of the wedding, Yeah, it's happened. I mean

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Speaker 1: like it happens like great reds. We have a great joke, man,

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Speaker 1: I want to tell you about it so bad. I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you the punchline. He's so drunk he thinks he's me.

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Speaker 1: It's not funny when you when you tell about jokes

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Speaker 1: and you don't tell the joke. That's his new things.

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Speaker 1: You know what. I give those people props for that

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Speaker 1: evening to know that you know what, let's not drag

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Speaker 1: this out for a year or two. Like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: give him props for being able to party. Did everybody

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Speaker 1: know that night that they were splitting up? No, it

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Speaker 1: was very like what okay, But like I think that

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of things that were happening behind trip.

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Speaker 1: So you don't think it was because of the photography session.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it was my job, no, but I

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Speaker 1: mean I kind of called it. I just had a

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Speaker 1: feeling because that there was something going on and it

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Speaker 1: wasn't you know, it wasn't anything I could do to

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Speaker 1: help it. Because a lot of times brides get nervous,

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Speaker 1: which is normal, and I could kind of flip them.

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Speaker 1: I can kind of make them feel at ease and

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Speaker 1: confident that they don't have to worry about a lot

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Speaker 1: on their day because a lot of people are more

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Speaker 1: nervous about the wedding than the marriage, like oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I have to host this party and versus like being

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Speaker 1: more nervous like wow, like this is my person forever

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Speaker 1: and like it's true. Even before Chester and I decided

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Speaker 1: to get married, Um, we talked about our different lifestyles work.

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Speaker 1: I don't hunt, but he does. And when we first

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Speaker 1: started dating, he said that just so you know, this

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Speaker 1: is my main thing. It was fishing and hunting because

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Speaker 1: he used to be a fishing guy. So he was

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Speaker 1: gone all summer and he's like, if you can't handle this,

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Speaker 1: and I can't change. And so we went through a

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Speaker 1: lot of tests, trial runs. We broke up a couple

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Speaker 1: of times, and when we got married, I accepted him

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Speaker 1: for who he was and I loved him for you

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Speaker 1: know what he does. I can't tell him what not

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Speaker 1: to do, and because then he won't be the same person,

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Speaker 1: you know. But then I have my things that I

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Speaker 1: love to do that he doesn't like. So we kind

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Speaker 1: of like balance each other out in a way, So

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Speaker 1: I don't I hope that was the answer to your question.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna like what I'm gonna say next, because

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Speaker 1: it be very bad for your business. My advice to

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Speaker 1: people getting married is don't have a um, I don't

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Speaker 1: have a wedding. Yeah, weddings can be very stressful. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I love allotments to like I photographed a handful of allotments,

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Speaker 1: and I love the intimacy of like they still want

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Speaker 1: to like have a really good they're there for each other,

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Speaker 1: you know, not just for the party. Um, but I

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Speaker 1: mean I do see I see both sides on that too,

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Speaker 1: you know. Obviously for my job, it's I loved what

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Speaker 1: I do, so I love being able to be a

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Speaker 1: part of a wedding that's excited to have it be

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Speaker 1: a wedding and not just be a party, you know,

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Speaker 1: Like there's some Yeah, just getting back to the term

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Speaker 1: hunting widow for a second. One of the main reasons

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Speaker 1: that I have an issue with the term or harvest widow,

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Speaker 1: and this some people might argue as overly sensitive. It's

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Speaker 1: like when your spouse goes away for a week and

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Speaker 1: someone goes, oh, i'm a single parent this week. It's

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Speaker 1: you're not a single parent. Your spouse is gone. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's really different than being a single parent. Being a

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Speaker 1: widow for a short period of time is nothing like

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Speaker 1: being an actual widow. So I find it, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: mildly offensive. Even though I'm not a single parent or

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Speaker 1: a widow myself. I do think there's something odd about

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Speaker 1: the term, probably cause you're raised by a single parent.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you saw a firsthand, like well that ship is

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Speaker 1: all about right, It's like hard, yeah, for sure, And

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Speaker 1: it's not that it's not hard to take care of

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Speaker 1: your whole family while your spouse is gone, and while

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Speaker 1: that support that you normally count on isn't there, but

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Speaker 1: it's not the same as day and day out, year

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Speaker 1: after year after year. That's like a completely different psychic load. Now.

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Speaker 1: I agree. People ask that all the time, like how

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Speaker 1: do you do it? You know? But I always have

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Speaker 1: in the back of my head I know eventually he's

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Speaker 1: coming back, because, like I said, we didn't do this.

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Speaker 1: We were away a lot from each other before we

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Speaker 1: had kids, and now it's kind of on me where

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Speaker 1: I used to leave him for the whole summer and now, um,

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Speaker 1: he's gone in the fall, you know, and then throughout

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Speaker 1: the year periodically, and um, you know, I always know

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Speaker 1: he's coming back at some point and I'll get a

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Speaker 1: little bit of that load off. So it's doable, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a little more doable because of that. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be a long hunter one day. It's what I'm aiming for,

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Speaker 1: So I'm just sort of what does that mean? Hunter

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Speaker 1: Steve Jennifer Hunter. The most famous long hunter that uh,

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Speaker 1: most people will know about would be Daniel Boone and

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Speaker 1: they would go on hunts that we're a year or two.

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Speaker 1: If you can just wait for twelve years, that would

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Speaker 1: be great. Wailers at it even work. A whaling trip

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Speaker 1: would be two years. Yeah, no communication, Yeah, probably did.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I'll point out that Boone when

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Speaker 1: you look at when Boone was home and when he

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Speaker 1: was gone, and you look at when his children were born,

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Speaker 1: one ain't his. It's rumored that it was his brother.

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Speaker 1: Never came up though. No, Okay, well I don't have

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Speaker 1: to worry about that. Who don't have to worry about that?

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Speaker 1: We don't. I don't know about all the rest of

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Speaker 1: you guys, right, you're ready to do it? Yeah, for

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Speaker 1: the rest of the show, We've got some prompts to

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Speaker 1: go over. Um. I hope that this is entertaining. Maybe

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Speaker 1: it's therapeutic. Maybe we could use that. Because when Karin

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Speaker 1: started trying to organize this podcast, she asked all of

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Speaker 1: us men in the room, said can I get your

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Speaker 1: wives as phone numbers? And three of us responded giving

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Speaker 1: Karin our own phone numbers, which is like, terrible, that's

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Speaker 1: not true. You just read okay, yeah, I totally misread

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Speaker 1: because I already had Jennifer's in my contact list, and

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Speaker 1: I saw poo tell us and I didn't. I was

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Speaker 1: like dyslexic, I guess and I saw I didn't notice

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Speaker 1: that it would said Jennifer as opposed to Janice. So

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Speaker 1: that was my problem. So then but two out of

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Speaker 1: you put your own phone number and said who were

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Speaker 1: supposed to me? Yeah, I'm curious to call yourself out, buddy.

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Speaker 1: You wanted to like you wanted to vet it. No,

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't thinking. I gave I said, here is

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Speaker 1: Shelby's phone number, and I wrote down my phone anytime

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Speaker 1: someone wants to hold my wife. I was having called

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Speaker 1: him first if he made himself Shelby secretary or what.

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Speaker 1: But it was it was Spencer and Brody, guys. Good job.

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Speaker 1: So all that to say is we could probably use

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Speaker 1: the help in communication. So the first thing is, on average,

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Speaker 1: how much communication is there while you're on a haunted

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Speaker 1: How does it differ like when you're in the bed

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Speaker 1: country versus car camping versus staying in a hotel. Janice

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Speaker 1: is someone who's probably gonna do all three versions of those.

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Speaker 1: Is fall What is like a normal amount of communication?

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Speaker 1: And I'll tell you Jennifer is shaking her head. I

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Speaker 1: don't think she's going to agree with your answer. Will

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Speaker 1: the reality there's like what it is and what you

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Speaker 1: believe it is might be different than what it is.

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Speaker 1: When it's been about four or five days and I go,

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Speaker 1: you know, we haven't talked to down in a long time,

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Speaker 1: and uh, and then I'm like, okay, maybe he's gonna call.

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Speaker 1: And then typically does you know by four or five days.

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Speaker 1: I have more reason to call now because my kids

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Speaker 1: can actually like communicate on the phone. When they were

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Speaker 1: really young and you're just kind of listening to Okay,

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Speaker 1: you guys too, you know, but now it's cool because

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Speaker 1: they're like, what are you doing? You know, what happened

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Speaker 1: or whatever. You can ask them about school, but um,

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Speaker 1: hedn't care to talk to me and see how I

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Speaker 1: was doing exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I've got a few of

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Speaker 1: those texts over the years that have been like, uh,

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Speaker 1: you want to know how I'm doing too, But I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd say probably any one of those,

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Speaker 1: it's just gonna be a couple three days. Um. I

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Speaker 1: like when I'm if I have satellite or in reach,

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Speaker 1: is my only form of communication I use it for

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Speaker 1: pretty much emergency port purposes or to let someone know

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Speaker 1: like changing plans or that the plan is going to

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Speaker 1: continue on as it is not so much it's kind

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Speaker 1: of been I noticed this last time I was in

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Speaker 1: Alaska just a couple of weeks ago. It was a

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Speaker 1: tiny bit annoying. Again, I'm not gonna name any names,

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Speaker 1: but every it used to be where like we had

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Speaker 1: an in reach amongst the crew. Now everybody's got their

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Speaker 1: own little mini in reach and you're sitting around in

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Speaker 1: like beautiful Alaska trying to enjoy it, and you look

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Speaker 1: around and everybody you're with is on their phones tech thing,

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Speaker 1: and you don't kind of like really and because everybody's

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Speaker 1: got the unlimited in reach plan and you know, whether

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Speaker 1: it might just be I love you too, or am

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Speaker 1: an unlimited in reach plan. This is going to be

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Speaker 1: so revealing. But you know, somebody might be like trying

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Speaker 1: to buy a house, right, and so they're like going

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Speaker 1: through inspections or or you know, working on documents um.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's I don't know, I like those things. Yes,

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Speaker 1: Steve is pointing out for there like you could curse

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Speaker 1: the technology and that it's like with you in the woods,

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Speaker 1: or you can appreciate that it allows you to be

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Speaker 1: out for six days instead of three because you're just

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Speaker 1: like more connected to everybody. That's the thing is. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Remember this doesn't have to do with trying to stay married,

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Speaker 1: but it has. Buck Bowden Um a friend of ours

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Speaker 1: who's a hunting guy in Alaska. He, like many people

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Speaker 1: who have been in Alaska a long time, all have

396
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Speaker 1: a very crystal clear idea of what ruined Alaska. If

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Speaker 1: you go back far enough, it was aircraft, snowmobiles ruined Alaska. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Now everybody's committed that his air boats. Air boats have

399
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Speaker 1: ruined Alaska. And a tv s. You're gonna hear about

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Speaker 1: this next week where you're going A tv s have

401
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Speaker 1: ruined Alaska. Um. Buck Bowden told me that in reached

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Speaker 1: devices are the things that have ruined Alaska. I thought

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Speaker 1: it was a stat phone. Yeah, well sorry, because it

404
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Speaker 1: used to be that you went and it was a

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Speaker 1: ten day trip and you got dropped off or rode

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Speaker 1: in on horseback, and he had his clients and they

407
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Speaker 1: were gone and if they killed something on the first

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Speaker 1: day or the second day or the third day, they

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Speaker 1: were on a ten day trip and people could get

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Speaker 1: lost in the experience. Now, some guy gets his sheep

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Speaker 1: on the third day, he wants his ass out of

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Speaker 1: their right now, before the guts are out of it.

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Speaker 1: They're making the phone call. They're already fretting about getting

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Speaker 1: an airplane in there to get him. So he said

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Speaker 1: that I only meant, I only meant to count of

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Speaker 1: the point that it could be. Let's look at it

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Speaker 1: this way. It could be that there were things you've

418
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Speaker 1: always wanted to do, but there was just like no

419
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Speaker 1: way you were going to go do it because you

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Speaker 1: couldn't get young kids whatever, Like you couldn't be out

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Speaker 1: of the game for that amount of time and feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable about it. But at least no one that like,

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Speaker 1: everyone's alive, everyone's healthy. If something catastrophic happened, right, you know,

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Speaker 1: that alleviates a ton of like it alleviates anxiety and

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Speaker 1: unless you kind of relax in a situation that might

426
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: otherwise be like really uncomfortable. Yeah, just having the ability

427
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: to know you can, you know, get in touch if

428
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: you have to. Is they're worth their way in gold,

429
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: those in reach devices. I'll say the one the one

430
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: time I don't turn mine on is if like we're

431
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 1: camping this weekend, Me, Katie, the kids. I don't mean

432
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: turn on because I had to text my buddy Dave something. Yeah,

433
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: Like there's nothing that would happen that I would care about.

434
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I try to be courteous and send a

435
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 1: quick one before I go to sleep if I'm out there,

436
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: you know, like every five days or so. Yeah, Chester does.

437
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: Chester doesn't have one actually, so when he's gone, he's gone.

438
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 1: He usually will text me from tasphone occasionally like, Hey,

439
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: how's it going. So what's a normal amount of communication

440
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 1: than Danielle with chick, Like sometimes about three days like

441
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: every other you know, every three days, which but I

442
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 1: also know that on these trips they're busy, and I

443
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: think also they just did a show at our house recently,

444
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: and I got to like watch how they work and

445
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: you are busy, Like there's just so much that I

446
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 1: don't like I'm not at home, just like, oh, why

447
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: doesn't he call me? Why didn't he text me hello?

448
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: But being pregnant, I think has changed a little bit,

449
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: like I'm more like, oh, god, you a check in

450
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: a couple of days. I think that Steve and I

451
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: over the years we've been together, sixteen years. Um, how

452
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: I know, amazing forever. It was part of that living

453
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: in Sin. Part of that two years was living in sin.

454
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 1: It good for you. Yeah, we got what we got

455
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: engaged is six months or something like that. Yeah, like like, wait,

456
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 1: we didn't even know each other. It was ridiculous. Um,

457
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: but he was traveling all the time. Yeah, we stayed

458
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 1: engaged for forever. Yeah, we were engaged for We got

459
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 1: married on the two year anniversary of our first date.

460
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: Is very cute. We didn't plan it like that. It

461
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: just worked out that way. But um, so we've you know,

462
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: I've gone through periods of being piste off that you

463
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: haven't been in touch, and then periods of like, you know,

464
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 1: it's fine if you're in touch every five days or whatever.

465
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: I think even more so than how frequently like the

466
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 1: expectation is um of being in touch, it's more the

467
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: thing that gets me is that Steve wants me to

468
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: answer if he calls. He's like, if I call, I'm

469
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: not going to have much service, like make sure to

470
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: pick up the phone. It's like, well, how do you

471
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: know what I'm going to be doing? Like I could

472
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: be needy in a work call or with the kids

473
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: or whatever. Yeah, exactly, Um, but that's part of it

474
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: that I think. If there's anything that causes tension, it's

475
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: the expectation that I will be available when he needs

476
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: me to be, but not that there that he needs

477
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: to be available or should be in touch on any

478
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: kind of regular cadence. Kelsey, how about you, what's like

479
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: a normal non communication with Seth? Um. Seth and I

480
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,479
Speaker 1: actually have like a complete system that works for us,

481
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 1: and we like it took a lot of time to

482
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: come up with this, and it's you know, kind of

483
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: maneuvered over the years, but we do have a system

484
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: and that alleviates like all of the stress over Um, hey,

485
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: you didn't talk to me enough, Like we know what

486
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 1: to expect. We set out our expectations, so umbook where Yeah,

487
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 1: he like I am to hear that he is safe

488
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: at the end of the day through his satellite device

489
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 1: and I am too, um update him periodically throughout the

490
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: day on if I'm like going to do something. And

491
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: the reason why we have the system, I think, actually

492
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: like our situation is kind of flipped. The anxiety of

493
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 1: like safety and the other's well being is actually more

494
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: on his end. For me, I think because I do

495
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 1: a lot, like I do everything alone. I'm operating a

496
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: public business alone. Um, I go do outdoor stuff alone

497
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: without like a satellite device. So he's not checking that

498
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: throughout the day. But when he turns on the satellite

499
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: phone at the end of the day, if he sees

500
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: that I went trail running and it's at night and

501
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: I haven't told him that I'm bad, he'll know to

502
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: like up to reach out to a friend and have

503
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: them check on me. Like, that's our system so that

504
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: we know each other safe. There's no we do not

505
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: at all talk about our days, like when he's on

506
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: a trip. There's just we don't expect each other to

507
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: have the time to do that. But that's our system

508
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: so that, um we know to Like, if something happened

509
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 1: on a mediator trip, I would know whether it was

510
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: him telling me or not. But if something happened to

511
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: me at home, nobody would know unless he caught it

512
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: right away because of our system. So, uh, this is

513
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: this gonna sound a little bit fatalistic, sure, but no, no,

514
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: I'm saying like like when it comes to communication, if

515
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: you're gone, you're never gonna I don't think you're never

516
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: gonna scratch, like the itch all the way. There's never

517
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: gonna be a way, whether it's through an in reach

518
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: satellite phone. Let's say you're in some way we have

519
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: like regular cell service, and like everybody's tired, you know,

520
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: people are like trying to deal with kids whatever. You're

521
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: never gonna get all of the communication out of the way.

522
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like I just want to like,

523
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: I just want to know, is everybody mostly okay, Like

524
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: nothing catastrophic has happened because we don't amount a small talking.

525
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: It's like it doesn't amount to it doesn't alleviate anything.

526
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: Like you could small talk for five minutes and when

527
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: you hang up it feels as shitty and incomplete as

528
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: if you didn't small talk at all. Our expectation is

529
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: no small talk. We don't. We don't apply that to

530
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: each other, that that is the thing at all. We'll

531
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 1: do that. We'll catch up on what happened when he's back,

532
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: Like we actually don't neither of us take the time

533
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: or want to take the time to do that while

534
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: he's gone. That's our system. I disagree is not. I'm

535
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: obviously the outlier here, but if Spencer is not texting

536
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: me at least once a day. I am super concerned,

537
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: probably a little bit mad. Uh, Like, if you're not dead,

538
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: why the hell have any texting? You better let me

539
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: know where you're at. I'll confirm that that's true. But

540
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: I think it's also with like communication has become very

541
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: different between different generations too. And here's an example. What

542
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: I've noticed is that if I'm with someone who has kids,

543
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: they are facetiming like every night, like that's what happens

544
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 1: in place of a phone call. Shelby and I never

545
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: use FaceTime. It's it's like FaceTime is exclusively for hunters

546
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: that have children at home, and I just like don't

547
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: notice that being used otherwise. But we use Snapchat a lot,

548
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: like yeah, I don't know, maybe that a like, well, no,

549
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 1: that old, But what do you do like on snapchat? Oh,

550
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: it's no like actual communication. It's just like he found

551
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: a piece of petrified wood or saw a porcupine and

552
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: send him picture of the cats sleeping on the couch

553
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: or on the couch. It's very exciting. But I think

554
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: it's just like I know he's alive. I can see

555
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: that he opened the snapchat. I know where he's at.

556
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: Within reason, Um, it's not like full on chickens. But

557
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: we get an idea that is, if you have service,

558
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: if you're somewhere with the internet, yeah, I would imagine

559
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 1: this room has a lot of face timing being zero

560
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: really FaceTime that technology is like us boomers can't figure.

561
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: Is a little younger right to be honestly, you facetiming

562
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,959
Speaker 1: your children? I mean he's gonna say, obviously, yeah, it's

563
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: not every night, but when they're staying at hotels. Yeah,

564
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: maybe one of the nights or something like that. Kids

565
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 1: on FaceTime are so annoying. Ye wander around and then

566
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: they'll start doing something intolerable to face time with my children.

567
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: They're just yeah, our kids are talkers now though. They

568
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: want to talk and they'll tell him exactly what they

569
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: did today and exactly what they you know, what happens.

570
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: They'll do that on my phone. But they like get

571
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: a you know, if they see themselves on a screen,

572
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: they need to add those dumb stickers whatever show everything

573
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: around them, like you take a tour of the house.

574
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 1: Are there any rituals you couples have while your partner

575
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: has gone For example, I know that if I'm gone

576
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: hunting for a few days, I'm going to get a

577
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: ring doorbell notification that door to ashes dropping off food

578
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: for Shelby. The Spencer is my cook in my defense,

579
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: so when he's gone door to ashes, my cook, I

580
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: fully support that. Yeah, thank you. Also, when I'm gone, Spencer,

581
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: I get home and he's like a shriveled up little

582
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: raisin that smells like chlorine because he's like lived in

583
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: the hot tub for four days. That's good. I'll also

584
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: confirm that is these you know, I'll speak for Kadian

585
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: say that they like to go get farm raised. They

586
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 1: like to eat farm raised meats while I'm gone. The

587
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: first thing we do is we got a rotisserie chicken.

588
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,919
Speaker 1: We got some lunch meat. Was ever a secret, yes,

589
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 1: but well not just more like eat it before dad

590
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: gets home and then we don't need to talk about it.

591
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,280
Speaker 1: We have a friend actually here, a neighbor that keeps

592
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: ham at her house for our daughter because she'll just

593
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 1: go over and ask for a piece of hams she

594
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: knows she can't get it at our own house, which

595
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: is sad. Along the bacon he paraphrases, but I think

596
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: it was something along the lines of like, yeah, one

597
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: thing that nature cannot produce is like a nice oven

598
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 1: roasted chicken. Yeah, bacon in a in a rotisserie chicken

599
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: are like two meats. He'll allow to be brought in

600
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: on occasion if it doesn't happen to me as much

601
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: as it happens to Katie. But my like, if she's gone,

602
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: I don't even want to say this to her in

603
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: the room we're all learning this together. Is that okay?

604
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: If she's gone. My goal is to make it seem

605
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: like shit is tight, to make it be like, can't

606
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: be that hard. So I bust my ass and I

607
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:27,479
Speaker 1: clean that house. People are bed super early, like ship

608
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: is tight. It seems this is you think you've been

609
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 1: sneaky about this, Like it is very obvious when they

610
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: try to make it look like Christie, right before you

611
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 1: got the house is spotless and truly you come in,

612
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: he's kind of like, oh yeah, man, I scream at

613
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: the kids. I'm like, you gotta get this place cleaned up.

614
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: Everybody getting bed, your must coming home. This is gonna

615
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: look like our program is tight. You've got to talk

616
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 1: about the flip side of that that you mentioned to

617
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: me before the podcast. Though, there's the flip side of

618
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: that when you get home. Oh, I don't know. I'm

619
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 1: gonna say this, and then I'm gonna be done talking

620
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: about the subject. A huge problem in my marriage is

621
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: when I get home, I kind of want to piss

622
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 1: on the old post a little bit. And I'm like,

623
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: who took the tools out and left him in the yard?

624
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 1: No one ate the green beans? Why is this like

625
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:37,800
Speaker 1: someone did water the thing? The bird feeders empty? What

626
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: do you people do? Oh? Yeah? Not? I mean that's

627
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 1: just like the beginning. You're like, oh, and it seems

628
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: like no one's hoping do X, Y and Z and

629
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 1: what you know it, there's not a That's the other thing.

630
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 1: I don't care about the traveling, but it would extra

631
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: appreciation when you get home for all the things that

632
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: have happened in your absence. He's kind of canceling out

633
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: a good will he builds by making the house. I

634
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: gotta be careful about going in that direction too. And

635
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 1: then she'll be like, you've been on vacation for a week,

636
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 1: and I'll be, oh, no, I haven't. I'm glad Seth

637
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: isn't here. This is like so quickly turning into a

638
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: couple's counseling sessions. Are there any rituals the rest of

639
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: you have that that happened while your spouse is gone.

640
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: One I just learned about when we were talking about

641
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: recording this was that Shelby will bank up shows that

642
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 1: she wants to watch that participated, and then those get

643
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: watched in October through December. And so I learned that one,

644
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 1: like just yesterday. Yeah. But then the worst thing is

645
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: is sometimes I think you'll like them, and he won't

646
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,280
Speaker 1: watch them with me because I've already seen it. Like Fleabag,

647
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: for example, I banked that one up and then I

648
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,919
Speaker 1: was like, you have to watch it, right, It's so good,

649
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: you're you're gonna love it. And then he just sat

650
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: there and played on his phone the whole time, and

651
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: then I was mad, mine's more like a work related

652
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: I know it's not maybe a good routine, but when

653
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: Chester leaves, I feel like I could really sit down

654
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: because I have to when I shoot weddings, like I

655
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: have so much editing, like it's a lot of my time.

656
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 1: But when he's home, I like to like we'll go

657
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: out to dinner that's me not working, or we'll um,

658
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: you know, have a slower morning together, so it's not me.

659
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: I mean, it's me not working. So when he's gone,

660
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh I get I get to edit and

661
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: just watch my chick flicks in bed, my air conditioner,

662
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: and drink and drink. Well now it's now I got

663
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 1: a drink sparkling water, not my beer. But you know,

664
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: I would say it's funny because I look at it

665
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: more of a work standpoint, like, oh, I can get

666
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: so much done when he's gone. Yeah, the first thing

667
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: I do is clean and organize the he and then

668
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 1: he comes home and it lasts a second dump sold

669
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 1: how when they don't unpack their bags from like Alaska,

670
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: like Chester's bag from a while ago, but still downstairs, Like,

671
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: well you're going to last again and unpack that one?

672
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: Throw him under the bus. I can't believe South and

673
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: Chester aren't here. We just we can really because where

674
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: are they now? The basic we're going, Yeah, they'll they

675
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: have two weeks to not know what we have to say. Yep,

676
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,959
Speaker 1: that's right, and they have two weeks are they said?

677
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 1: Just don't throw me under the bus too bad? At this?

678
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 1: When I told I was doing this, He's like, let's

679
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: be careful. Are there any rituals you guys would like

680
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: to develop that you think would would make these trips easier.

681
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: One that I learned about myself was that I like

682
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: to come home to like a very tidy house. And

683
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: so now, whether it's me leaving on a trip by myself,

684
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: I will clean up my areas, like the dishes are cleaning,

685
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: the garbages out, my office is clean. Um. And we

686
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: go on a trip together, I'm like making you clean

687
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: with me for the last hour that we're at home.

688
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: And that's something I would love for us just like

689
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: become a standard thing we do when we're leaving home.

690
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: It's funny you say that because Chester and I literally

691
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: just had a grown up conversation. I'm about that this

692
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:04,800
Speaker 1: weekend because Kelsey and Seth went fishing and where was

693
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: that beautiful? I'd have to yeah, that's right, Okay, they

694
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: went somewhere beautiful and Chester really wanted to go, and

695
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: I was like totally okay with it. But at the

696
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: same time, I'm like, there's just so much stuff around

697
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: the house. I wish you could help me because you're

698
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: gonna be gone for two weeks. So we compromise and

699
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: he didn't go fishing, um, but he actually did. His

700
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: partner really helped out around the house, and I feel

701
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 1: way better about him leaving now. I feel like, hey,

702
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: at least he helped out. He stayed this week. Now

703
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a fresh start and bath Felicia,

704
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: I think Spencer is going to leave this podcast thinking

705
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: that he has it the worst. I'm worried. I am

706
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: such a pig. When Spencer is gone, I make what

707
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: he calls nests, and it's just like coffee cups and

708
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: the blankets, and I bring all the pillows into one

709
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: room and then I'm quickly scrambling to clean it before

710
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: he comes home. Because he's a bitch for chores. I

711
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 1: don't know why he loves chores on Can you teach

712
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 1: Chester some stuff? Yes, it's it's reminiscent of like when

713
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,479
Speaker 1: I was a junior in high school and my parents

714
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 1: were gone through the weekend and there's like a party

715
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: that just happened to happen at home, and I'm like,

716
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: I know their e t a down to the minute.

717
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: Then that's how Shelby operates when I'm not around, because

718
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: she's like scrambling to clean up that day. Danielle, how

719
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: are things different this fall with you being very pregnant

720
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: and Chester's still needing to travel for work. I imagine

721
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: there are a lot more considerations when Chester is like

722
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 1: planning a ten day trip to Alaska and meanwhile, you're

723
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: in your third trimester. Yeah. Um, I will say it's different,

724
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: but it's not because last year was a really busier

725
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: also for the crew. I mean they were gone a lot,

726
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 1: so I was already like, Okay, this is what I

727
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: had to kind of acclimate to and like reference too,

728
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: because I was new to him being gone so much. Um,

729
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: but I kind of I kind of like we both

730
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: just had like a grow up agreement about like, you know,

731
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: put your head down to work and do your job

732
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: and be supportive of each other. There's times definitely where

733
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 1: I'm upset and like being pregnant, I'm like, oh, maybe

734
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: not travel in the third trimester just in case you

735
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: can't get around. But um, I guess it's not a

736
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: lot as different because I'm I'm just as busy as

737
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: he is. We both work really like a lot weird hours.

738
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: So UM, I don't know if that helps or not,

739
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: but I don't feel like a lot has changed. Maybe

740
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: just being more nervous, like now that I'm housing a human.

741
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: It would be nice to have him like, want to

742
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: check in more on him, you know, and me? And

743
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: is there any advice our parents and then would have

744
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 1: for the expecting parents when it comes to navigating this

745
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: part of raising children, Like Steve honest Brody, do you

746
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: have anything for Chester and Katie? Jennifer Carey, do you

747
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 1: have something for Danielle? Yes? Before before that's very important.

748
00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: But I think there's still a disagree meant that Steve

749
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 1: and I have about something that I feel he did

750
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: was egregious when I was pregnant with our first kid. Um.

751
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: It involves Ronnie being going on a hunt. He ended

752
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: up coming home early because I called him and basically said,

753
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm getting like, we're getting a divorce if you don't

754
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: come home. I was so sick. And we know Ronnie

755
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: has impeccable advice because he said he doesn't want to

756
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: get divorced because he doesn't want to leave that. So

757
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: Steve ended up coming home because I mean I was

758
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: really I was really sick. Steve had been working. Um

759
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: then this was a fun hunt that you went on

760
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: and you came home, but you still feel that it

761
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: was unnecessary, Like I was being unreasonable that I asked

762
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:46,240
Speaker 1: you to come home, just curious for a couple of reasons.

763
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: I guess I feel that way for couple reasons. There

764
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: was nothing now I was going to do that was

765
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: gonna make you feel better. The other thing is that

766
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: is so up, like we were just kind of dicking around,

767
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: but like we've gone up through Maine in the hunt

768
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 1: Grouse in New Brunswick, Like it's not. You don't just

769
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,879
Speaker 1: like decide to all of a sudden come home from there.

770
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: I didn't all of a sudden just decide to get

771
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: pregnant either, Like and it was I was sick when

772
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: you left, and I just got madder the longer you

773
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: were gone and the longer you were driving. But I'm

774
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: just curious, felt more alone. I think that was bad.

775
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: I do think now, looking back on it, that was bad.

776
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: I think that. I mean from my if I were you,

777
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: i'd be pissed only because like, also, when you're pregnant,

778
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: you're it's not the guys won't get experienced it. Really, honestly,

779
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: I feel bad that they don't get experienced what we

780
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: experienced until the baby's there, because that's when I feel

781
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 1: like maybe the men um connect more to it, but

782
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: like growing a human. I mean, I've knock on would

783
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 1: have had a really great pregnancy. But if you have

784
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: a tough pregnancy and you're alone and they're gone, you

785
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 1: feel even more alone and your hormones are all over like.

786
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 1: It's just one of those things that it's hard for

787
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: even guys to understand really what you're going through. So

788
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: I think if Chester would like dip out for fun,

789
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, you're not coming home, and as

790
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: it's in a body bag, you know, you know, when

791
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,280
Speaker 1: you're I don't know this personally, but when you're pregnant,

792
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: you get a period where everything smells real, like like

793
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 1: bad smith, like garbage smells horrible, like way worse than

794
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 1: all that. So she was pretty pregnant one time and

795
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 1: me and my buggy check this out there, Me and

796
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 1: my buddy, we're gonna do this thing where we wanted.

797
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: We dug this is We're in Brooklyn, and we dug

798
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: a big hole. We had a backyard, and we dug

799
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 1: a big hole in the backyard, and we're gonna bury

800
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: a pig in this hole in the backyard. And we

801
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: started getting this fire going good, and it looks it

802
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: looked like a scene from like Bagdad, the black smoke

803
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: coming out of this thing. And pretty soon, sure enough,

804
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 1: I mean, three ladder trucks, fireman coming through our apartment.

805
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 1: They're like, that's a great idea, but you gotta put

806
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: that ship out, you know. So then we had this

807
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 1: pig and we so we've been making this fire all

808
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: day and digging this hole. And then we took this

809
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: pig to my buddy's restaurant and cut it up and

810
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 1: cooked the pig and pieces in his ovens. Brought him

811
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 1: back home and I climbed in bed. She's like, are

812
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: you honestly I'm not going to take a shower, that

813
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: is you? Yeah, And he didn't. I'm going to that man.

814
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: I still have yet to hear any parenting advice to

815
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: get there, Like, well, I can't, like you know, as

816
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 1: far as the pregnancy thing, I'm not going to weigh in,

817
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 1: but like, we had our first kid end of September,

818
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 1: so it was hunting season. Yep. Second yeah, conmly after

819
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: he was born. I think he went turkey hunting the

820
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: day after I got out of the hospital. Because like

821
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 1: the first couple of months, there's nothing for me an,

822
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 1: I mean we had a three and a half year

823
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: old and a three day There's really nothing you could

824
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: have done. There's just not much the guy can do

825
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: for they're just a little little So you know, my

826
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: my lovely wife did observe after a couple of months

827
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 1: after we had our first kid, after a cup months,

828
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: she was like, there really isn't anything like in the

829
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: middle of the night, this is you know, you kind

830
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: of get up, you feel guilty and you sort of

831
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: stand there watching, you know, them feed or whatever, and

832
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: she's like, there's you know, I just don't don't pretend.

833
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: Don't pretend to be like helpful. I didn't have it.

834
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: You're all tired tomorrow, just like sleep tomorrow in the daytime.

835
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: Do the helpful stuff eventually, Like you gotta step in too, right,

836
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: But there's a period of time whether's you know, Brodie,

837
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 1: I am you are so wrong about this. You know,

838
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 1: those first few couple of months, there's less they can do. Yeah,

839
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 1: that takes a lot you would take care of you,

840
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,439
Speaker 1: especially after the nine months you already how's the human

841
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: you get sup deprived? Well, I don't know yet, but

842
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: I just didn't watch a lot of Blaque for going hunt.

843
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: I mean, good for you on that, like that's a win.

844
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: But your advice to Chester it is just like he

845
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be around the first couple of months,

846
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 1: not at all. There's not a lot they can for

847
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: the baby, obviously, but you can clearly clean and do

848
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 1: other things that you're not doing because you're taking your

849
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 1: time taking care of a baby. If it's like if

850
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: it's an either or, and I don't think it is.

851
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: We're talking about something that plays out over the course

852
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 1: of many years. It's not like it's not like he's like, well,

853
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go turkey hunting now because then in six

854
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: years I'll be more present. But since it's not either or,

855
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: but I would say that, um, like our kids now

856
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 1: are entering an age where I feel like, yeah, that

857
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 1: ship becomes really important, right, like have an exposure to

858
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: these different figures in the household and like putting all

859
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 1: that together. But but it's hard to present it as

860
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: a borrow, like like a give and take arrangement between

861
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 1: the present and the future. You know, if you hunt

862
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: a lot now, it's like you're gonna not want to

863
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 1: go hunting later. You're gonna want to go hunt any

864
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 1: worse later. Exactly, but eventually you'll take them both with

865
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: with you. We're only like four years from that, right,

866
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 1: and then I get a whole weekend long. Maybe that's

867
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: what I'm banking that, honestly, is the only time, that's

868
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: like the only time in my life that I feel

869
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: absolutely like perfection would be that to be gone out

870
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: messing around outside with all my kids, because then I like,

871
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: I'm doing what I want to do and I don't

872
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 1: have any guilt about not being being a good dad. Also,

873
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,760
Speaker 1: you're showing your kids, Like I think that's so important.

874
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 1: A lot of kids now are like always just I

875
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 1: mean on their phones or on their cell phones or

876
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: on Twitter, Instagram. You bring your kids out. I even

877
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: told Chester, I'm like, we need to be like that, Like, well,

878
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: that's being a kid, be out in nature and you know,

879
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: get off the off the grid just to be a

880
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: kid and not worry about social media and like what

881
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: other kids are doing, especially as they get older, you know,

882
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: especially in school, like little girls, especially seeing other girls,

883
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 1: although they're doing that, so I gotta do that. So

884
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 1: they're out in the woods just not even not even

885
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 1: acclimated to that. Like that's I think that's amazing, Yanni Jennifer,

886
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 1: parents of two. Do you have any advice for Danielle

887
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 1: and Chester you want to go first? Um. I guess

888
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 1: probably one of the hardest things I think for the

889
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: longer trips was because I stopped doing field work once

890
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: we had kids. Um, because I used to do it,

891
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 1: a lot of field work, and it was gone for

892
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: full summers at a time, and then, uh, you know,

893
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: once that flipped. Yeah, I was definitely unhappy for the

894
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 1: first couple of summers realizing that that that relationship had

895
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: changed and that you know, he was the only one

896
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: getting to do the field work and a lot more

897
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: of it. Um. But I think the hardest thing is

898
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: definitely the back end, the front end and the back

899
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: end of the trips, like the two days after he leaves,

900
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: just because we do things differently. You know, I parent

901
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 1: a little differently, I keep the household differently, I put

902
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 1: them to bed differently, those kind of things. And then

903
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: Papa shows up, what's up? You know the game? You know,

904
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna read you a book and yeah, exactly,

905
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 1: and yeah, so that that's challenging. And I realized today

906
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 1: that he had no idea that that was a thing

907
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: because yeah, you said that to me earlier, that really

908
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 1: there's a problem there, And I'll say, oh, yeah, do

909
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 1: you guys see that totally? Yeah, you can teens and

910
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 1: you're like patterns with the kids, and then all of

911
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 1: a sudden it just gets It's not a bad thing,

912
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: it's just a different way. It's different, yeah, doing things.

913
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 1: But it's frustrating sometimes. I feel like the kids definitely

914
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: act up on the front end, and then you know,

915
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: yahn S will show up and he'll be like, what

916
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:46,800
Speaker 1: is going on with the kids? Why are they acting

917
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: like because I'm a bad parents that's the reason. So yeah,

918
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: that's that's one of our challenges. I think that that.

919
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: I mean that just be aware. Yeah it's a thing,

920
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 1: um and you know it's not insurmountable. You know, you

921
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,800
Speaker 1: can you can get get by it. But just know

922
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: that it's tough on the kids. But I mean, you know,

923
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: like he was saying today, there's there are plenty of fields.

924
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: Is not hunting necessarily. You know, I'm an ecologist and

925
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 1: when I leave for you know, a training for a week,

926
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: it's it's tough the day before and they're like, mom

927
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: me it's leaving, you know, and you know it's it's

928
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 1: a little different kind of you think that's harder on

929
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,240
Speaker 1: them or harder on you guys, Like I think harder

930
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 1: on me, I would say, than the kids. I think

931
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 1: they're pretty adjusted to it. Like after the first day,

932
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: maybe they're sad. Then they're all doing their thing, but

933
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 1: you're like still doing your reach. And now they're at

934
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: an age where they value it, like they know like

935
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: dad's out doing cool things and they want to be

936
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 1: there too, So there's a as they get older, it's

937
00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: easier to me anyway, it's good for sure. Steve's about

938
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: to go on a trip tomorrow and I am really

939
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 1: looking forward to the lack of kitchen grease, like literally,

940
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 1: like he was like, oh, I know you're stick of

941
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: me in my kitchen greases. He was walking around the

942
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:21,439
Speaker 1: kitchen yesterday. But there really is something nice about when

943
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 1: you go and you're doing something you love and the

944
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: house is in order in the way that I wanted

945
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 1: to be. But I think Jennifer your point about being

946
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:33,880
Speaker 1: aware of that and being aware about the return to

947
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: like we made it. We made a sort of a

948
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: policy a long time ago that there wasn't going to

949
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 1: be We're not going to make a huge deal. It's

950
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 1: not going to be a big traumatic event every time

951
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 1: Steve leaves. But then there can't be this big whoopie

952
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 1: do party every time he comes home. It's like it's

953
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,399
Speaker 1: has to be normalized in some kind of way. When

954
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,399
Speaker 1: we first had kids, I would with I was going

955
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: out of town. Um, I would sit in the bats

956
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: up with him and cry, and she's like, yeah, pull

957
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,799
Speaker 1: it together. You're gonna you know, you can't be doing

958
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. And she said, you gotta be

959
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: like out kind of like smooth and come back in smooths,

960
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:14,320
Speaker 1: not like cakes and signs that so welcome home and ship.

961
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: You gotta figure out how to get in and get out.

962
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 1: No one noticing that. Jealous when I walk out those

963
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 1: security doors, you know, and there's a couple of your

964
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 1: kids standing around a little poster board. But no. But

965
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: now they get up in the morning and they'll come

966
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 1: down or come upstairs for preaktict and where's POPA, Yeah,

967
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: he's on a ten day trip. Okay, you know eight

968
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: and eleven now so it's much easier, but yeah, you

969
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: still see, you know, some subtle changes. But when they

970
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:48,320
Speaker 1: were younger, it was it was much more difficult, but sorry,

971
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna slip it in, but just some general marriage,

972
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 1: parenting all around advice would be too. It's hard to

973
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 1: see into the future, but they're just are topics that

974
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: you know that everyone knows. If you're thinking at all

975
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: about that, you're gonna have to discuss and very early on,

976
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 1: like when you're just at the wedding, everybody's just all

977
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: in love and it's gravitas and it's gonna last forever,

978
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: but you just haven't even thought to discuss, like what

979
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: are we gonna just say to him when religion comes up?

980
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,400
Speaker 1: Or is it gonna be public or private schools? Or

981
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,760
Speaker 1: there's just things that you could like very easily discuss

982
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: ahead of time and don't have to come to a conclusion,

983
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 1: but just start the conversation so that later you're like

984
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: already kind of like you've been formulating a plan and

985
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:39,839
Speaker 1: maybe even coming together or you've decided that not we're

986
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 1: just gonna you know, a parent differently on this one

987
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 1: thing or whatever. But just like it's so much easier

988
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 1: to think about it ahead of time than to like

989
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 1: when all of a sudden, it's like the heat of

990
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 1: the moment, you're like ow on earth do we not

991
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 1: think that? Um, I'm trying to come up with a

992
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 1: good example of oh yeah, like being shut We haven't.

993
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 1: I haven't had that problem, but I see it with

994
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: people like they're shocked at something they find out. Yeah,

995
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 1: well we are like pretty predictable thing that would come up,

996
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like like you're saying, like

997
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,839
Speaker 1: like private school or something. You know, So how how

998
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: did like sort of like the rough outline of that

999
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 1: not come up? And all the years prior and that

1000
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 1: was so important to you? You know. We actually did

1001
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: marriage counseling before our wedding, which I was like, well

1002
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 1: because it was required to get because we got married

1003
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,800
Speaker 1: to the church, obviously was required, but I was actually

1004
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: really excited about it. It was during COVID, so like

1005
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 1: we had to do it in our house, and like

1006
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,360
Speaker 1: we had to sit in the house all day for

1007
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: two days together and like talk through hard things that

1008
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: you would never want to talk about in general, Like

1009
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: you when you got to a date night, you don't

1010
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 1: want to bring up the hard stuff. And when you

1011
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 1: because you don't see each other all the time, you

1012
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 1: want to have a good conversation. But um, it kind

1013
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 1: of like taught us how to have these discussions and

1014
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: it did flat out ask about kids, religion, um, parenting,

1015
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,040
Speaker 1: and like, I feel like there's definitely gonna be things

1016
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 1: that we disagree on, which is that's obviously normal and

1017
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,399
Speaker 1: it's going to be challenging, but hearing each other out

1018
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 1: on like how you're going to move forward and how

1019
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 1: you both can like you know, um compromise and like, okay,

1020
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 1: I can do this if we can, you know, I

1021
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 1: don't know. I think that I'm glad that we we

1022
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 1: did do that because we've talked about a lot of

1023
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 1: hard stuff. There's still stuff I'm like, I don't know

1024
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: what to do, Like I'm already nervous to like breastfeed

1025
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 1: and do all this stuff, but like schooling, I'm like,

1026
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, what about school? Like obviously you take

1027
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 1: a day this day at a time, and but I'm glad.

1028
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 1: I do suggest anyone out listening do marriage counseling before

1029
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: you get married. Steve and I did that. We did

1030
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 1: the we got the pre kin in questions from a

1031
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: Catholic friend and we went through those. Do you remember that? Honestly,

1032
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 1: very impactful experience for you, But it was like a questionnaire. Yeah,

1033
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 1: it had like I can't even It was like thirty

1034
00:57:56,680 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 1: six question questions and a lot of deep questions, not

1035
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 1: just like how do you like your meals? Like would

1036
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 1: you pull wet pine squirrel legs that your kids shot

1037
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 1: and throw them in hot oil? And no, I would

1038
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 1: only eat a rotistory. Here's a good example. It's like

1039
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:23,680
Speaker 1: how stern your parenting style might be. Are you going

1040
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 1: to spank or take your belt off and whoop your

1041
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 1: kids if if he does X thing or not? You know,

1042
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: that's a one we went into and then all of

1043
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: a sudden there's a spanking, But we went into it

1044
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 1: spankers and then agreed at a rout at about the

1045
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: same time that we were out of here. We're out

1046
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: of the spanking. So it's like we would have never predicted, right,

1047
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 1: That's why there's a little bit of sort of like

1048
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: finding a reasonable person, Like earlier are just saying like

1049
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 1: how could you not talk about the main stuff? But

1050
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,440
Speaker 1: isn't it weird that we would have both thought in

1051
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 1: principle that like spanking was the way to go, and

1052
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 1: then that on when they're too being like the return

1053
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 1: on investment in spanking, It's like diminishing returns, like are

1054
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: you really going to keep like, are you really willing

1055
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: to get into arms race with how hard you're going

1056
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 1: to smack your kids? But once they started like you

1057
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: spank them, they kind of look at you like, the

1058
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: hell was that the last time banked? The last time

1059
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: I spanked one of our kids is when they turned

1060
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: around and laughed at me, And I was like, Okay, well,

1061
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 1: clearly that's not hard enough. I don't want to figure

1062
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 1: out what the right heart is like that just make

1063
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: you spanking your kids right now? It does make me

1064
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: because you're so sweet, I could imagine it. They're they're

1065
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: way too they won't even know what to make of

1066
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 1: that anymore. But all right, you've you've now made our

1067
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 1: listeners perfect parents. But let's go back to like when

1068
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:55,520
Speaker 1: there's traveling happening around hunting, what are the specific anxieties

1069
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: you have when your spouse is gone, Like is there

1070
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 1: a certain hunt or a certain situation that stresses you

1071
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 1: out more than others? I I know what Shelby's answer

1072
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 1: is going to be to this, Yeah, as you might

1073
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 1: have predicted it being very on brand for Spencer to

1074
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 1: be incredibly cautious, he is so risk averse. He'll like

1075
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 1: pull me away from edges on hikes and he's ridiculously careful,

1076
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:22,680
Speaker 1: yet he still managed to fall out of a tree

1077
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: stand and cut open his side. And then when he

1078
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: calls me about it, he's like, oh, I'm going to

1079
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 1: drive to a hospital in our insurance network, Like are

1080
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: you are you still? Yeah, no way, you are driving

1081
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: to the small town e Er that's ten miles away

1082
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 1: and I won't hear anything about it. And then he

1083
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: agrees a little too quickly, and I'm like, oh, it's bad.

1084
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: So you know, even with Spencer being safe there, it's dangerous.

1085
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 1: Like you guys are in a very compromised situation. Yeah,

1086
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 1: I've recognized that. Um, when I'm now going on a

1087
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: hunt where too like involves getting up in a tree,

1088
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: I get more be careful and are you okay? Uh

1089
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 1: than than any other time that amount. So what about

1090
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: for the rest of you, what are like the most

1091
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 1: anxious trips? I mean, I think we had a conversation

1092
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: a long time ago about like being in the back

1093
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: country and it's dangerous, and then we came to the

1094
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 1: conclusion that it's more dangerous to get in your car

1095
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: and your driveway, like this is not something I mean,

1096
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I don't know what you think about

1097
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: that anymore, but yeah, I think it evolves over time.

1098
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: I mean, we've been together a while now, um so

1099
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 1: how long carried? I think twenty years? God one, but

1100
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: who's counting together? We've been married. We lived in sin

1101
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 1: for a while, that's six years. I actually think they're

1102
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: the best relationship advice is to live in for a while,

1103
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 1: livingson ill. Yeah, I think anytime you're out alone, you're

1104
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: always like and now that we can commun kate yea

1105
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 1: in reach or even if you're out of service, that's

1106
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: changes that a little bit. But um, Brodie's also very

1107
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 1: safety conscious, so that gives me a lot of I

1108
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 1: don't I don't get as anxious as I probably want to.

1109
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 1: But I'll say, for me, like thinking about it on

1110
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: my own end, is single engine aircraft still like it's

1111
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: still in the back of my head looking the other way.

1112
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to get too much details because I

1113
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 1: want to pick a fresh scab. You're gonna think you're

1114
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 1: gonna take this the wrong way. You're gonna take this

1115
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: the wrong way. One time out of town recently, and

1116
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 1: I get back and Katie's telling about meeting some guy

1117
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 1: in a restaurant, like, how how in the world you

1118
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 1: meet a guy in a restaurant. She's like, he just

1119
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 1: came up and started talking to me, and she's like

1120
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 1: telling me about some other unrelated thing. But I'm like

1121
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 1: focused on he came up and talk to you. Do

1122
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And not that I'm like

1123
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 1: worried about what I'm just like, what was in his mind?

1124
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:04,320
Speaker 1: That ship bugs, that stuff bugs. Okay, that is really

1125
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 1: off topic and ridiculous, and we'll definitely pick that up later.

1126
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 1: But to be right, but the I honestly don't like

1127
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 1: to know where Steve is or what he's doing. Like

1128
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 1: most of the time people say, like, what's he doing,

1129
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't. Calendar says like moose you know

1130
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 1: or whatever. But but I don't like to know because

1131
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 1: for for long enough I worried a lot, and especially

1132
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: without hearing from him on any kind of regular basis,

1133
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 1: I just didn't like, I don't want to live like that.

1134
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 1: And so knowing now there is a newfound passion or

1135
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 1: relatively new found passion for spear fishing, which is um

1136
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 1: he's learning and is dangerous free diving. Fine, I don't

1137
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 1: want to know like I would rather just be like

1138
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 1: you go, you have fun, you make your best um decisions.

1139
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 1: I've told him that if he that I want him

1140
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: to think about like I want in his mind, if

1141
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: he has a moment like underwater or whatever, like I

1142
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 1: can do this thing and that seems risky, but I

1143
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: think I can do it, or I should probably take

1144
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 1: the safe path that I want him to know that

1145
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 1: if he dies, I am going to take his life

1146
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 1: insurance money and all of his hard earned savings, and

1147
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:29,320
Speaker 1: I am going to marry a guy that he would despise.

1148
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to spend that money doing things that he

1149
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 1: would hate. Whip this man and our children. She was

1150
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 1: laying uside me the other day. I told her, I

1151
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: just think you need to marry my buddy Pooter. Paint

1152
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 1: a picture for his Katie and who this uh new

1153
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:55,240
Speaker 1: husband would be? Like? What big sports fan? We'd go

1154
01:04:55,320 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 1: to lots of sports games. We would ski, probably on weekends, golf.

1155
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: We would definitely go live on a golf course. Maybe

1156
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 1: we would probably move to a golf course. We would

1157
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 1: stay at resort. Would you start decorating your home with

1158
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:16,120
Speaker 1: those signs that say like, uh, like home is where?

1159
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: Know what? You know what? I respect people's design choices.

1160
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 1: If that's what they want to do, that is fine.

1161
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 1: But I would take all of steve skulls and we

1162
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 1: would get rid of all of them. All of the

1163
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:33,800
Speaker 1: hides would be gone, and the kids wouldn't hunt sink in.

1164
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:40,400
Speaker 1: Steve some fish down and I'm like that fish can

1165
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:43,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna let him be. I don't need to

1166
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,280
Speaker 1: go down they're looking for that fish. It sounds like

1167
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 1: we would get along well with this, Uh Steve two

1168
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: point oh. I might have met him at a restaurant. Jennifer,

1169
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: is there an outing for you that bothers you more

1170
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,040
Speaker 1: than others? When when Yanni is gone? You know, I

1171
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,360
Speaker 1: have to be honest. We lived in Colorado for years

1172
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 1: and years, and uh, I did a bunch of feel

1173
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 1: work in the Sierra and the grizz thing definitely gives

1174
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:10,720
Speaker 1: me fast because we never lived in grizzly country until

1175
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:14,840
Speaker 1: moving up here to Montana. And um it seems that

1176
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: even though Montana is a very large state, when Janest

1177
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,800
Speaker 1: likes to go archery hunting, he picks the most grizzly

1178
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:24,680
Speaker 1: infected infested watershed in the entire state. It's like, that's

1179
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:28,200
Speaker 1: where I'm gonna go, Like, really that one right beside? Okay,

1180
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 1: that's fine, great there, we might have to bleep some

1181
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 1: of that out. So, yeah, those are the ones that

1182
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 1: give me a little pause. And he's had a couple

1183
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,920
Speaker 1: of interactions with Chris, so that one makes me really

1184
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 1: nervous too. Yeah, Kelsey, for you, is it like, is

1185
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: it boats? Is it planes? Is it the back country?

1186
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,320
Speaker 1: What is Seth do that makes you nervous? Um, I

1187
01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 1: don't know if it's a bad thing that I'm pretty

1188
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:54,520
Speaker 1: calm about all that. I really it doesn't bother me.

1189
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 1: I trust him, and I also understand that it's a

1190
01:06:57,240 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 1: high risk lifestyle and it's you know, accidents are prone

1191
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 1: to happen, But um, you know, I trust his capabilities

1192
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 1: and I don't worry about it too much. The only

1193
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:13,479
Speaker 1: thing that does freak me out, and this has nothing

1194
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 1: to do with him, And I don't even really know

1195
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 1: like how safe this is or not. It's just me projecting.

1196
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:25,680
Speaker 1: Ice freaks me out. Ice fishing, I don't totally reasonable. Now,

1197
01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:28,480
Speaker 1: it's it's obvious how like a family's impacted when a

1198
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:30,920
Speaker 1: significant other has gone haunting, But what about the reentry

1199
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:34,120
Speaker 1: into the home? Uh? We we heard Katie you talk

1200
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 1: about how like Steve is not getting the welcome home

1201
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: that a soldier would after being in Iraq for a year.

1202
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 1: It's funny mention because one day I said, You're lucky

1203
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: I'm not in the army. What are you even talking about?

1204
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 1: What is the thing that you think your spouse does

1205
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 1: well when it comes to these trips happening? Like, where

1206
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: is an area that you think they are excelling? Uh?

1207
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 1: That you like feel very good about what they're doing

1208
01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: before a trip, happens after a trip, happens during a trip. Danielle,

1209
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:08,040
Speaker 1: you have anything that Chester is like really nailed Yeah. Honestly,

1210
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,320
Speaker 1: I feel like when he first started working from Eater,

1211
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:14,360
Speaker 1: I think he was didn't know what what to expect,

1212
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 1: and so he was really nervous obviously, And from what

1213
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:21,559
Speaker 1: I've seen him, like where he's at now after working

1214
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:24,680
Speaker 1: here for I think two years now, Um, he I

1215
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 1: feel like it has become way more organized in a way.

1216
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,799
Speaker 1: I think he's nailed at because for his job particular,

1217
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 1: you have to be organized. You have to you have

1218
01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:34,400
Speaker 1: to be able to manage a lot of different things

1219
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 1: going on, and that was not his when I first

1220
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,080
Speaker 1: met him. Oh, I was like, Wow, this is gonna

1221
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 1: be good for you. You're gonna learn so much. And

1222
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:43,639
Speaker 1: I will say, honestly, I'm very proud of like how

1223
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,880
Speaker 1: he manages what he manages, and like when he gets stressed,

1224
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:50,240
Speaker 1: how he manages his stress and um, obviously I'm just

1225
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 1: like super rooting for him just to keep keep going

1226
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 1: and working hard and um just learning different techniques to

1227
01:08:56,120 --> 01:08:59,200
Speaker 1: even perfect even more. Like and one thing about him

1228
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,040
Speaker 1: is like, you know, some times he um if he

1229
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:04,200
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to do something or he feels stuck,

1230
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:07,120
Speaker 1: he wants to figure out himself versus just asking for help,

1231
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 1: which I'm opposite. I'm like, Okay, I need some help,

1232
01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 1: you know. So I love that he's like learning to

1233
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:16,360
Speaker 1: um just you know, keep getting better and like learning

1234
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:19,400
Speaker 1: different skills. Kelsey, what is Seth doing well when it

1235
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,439
Speaker 1: comes to leaving for trips like this? Um? Well, One

1236
01:09:23,479 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 1: thing that as I'm sitting here thinking about this episode,

1237
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:29,639
Speaker 1: I think is important to note is we are talking

1238
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:34,960
Speaker 1: about this from a work perspective. Most people listening to

1239
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:40,160
Speaker 1: this are thinking about hunting as like the extracurricular there.

1240
01:09:40,280 --> 01:09:44,120
Speaker 1: It's not like they're nine to five. Um. But with

1241
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 1: that being said, what Seth does well? Um, and this

1242
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:51,080
Speaker 1: has been key for us, and this is he like

1243
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,760
Speaker 1: systems are very important to us in our relationship. And

1244
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:57,560
Speaker 1: that's something that he fostered in the beginning. So like

1245
01:09:58,240 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 1: we have very clear expectations, very clear systems. We know

1246
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 1: what we're getting into as far as communications, Like we

1247
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 1: are very good with the front end stuff like Yanny,

1248
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 1: you were talking about, um talking about all this stuff

1249
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 1: ahead of time. That's something that is very important to him, Um,

1250
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:17,439
Speaker 1: that he's brought into our relationship. Carry what does Brody

1251
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:20,000
Speaker 1: get right when it comes to leaving for hunting? Yeah,

1252
01:10:20,280 --> 01:10:22,080
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of the same stuff leaving a

1253
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:24,479
Speaker 1: hunt plan. I know exactly where he is. I get

1254
01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:28,800
Speaker 1: the on X point. Um really yeah? Is that commonplace

1255
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:32,320
Speaker 1: for for everyone here? Like that's a good market for

1256
01:10:32,439 --> 01:10:39,360
Speaker 1: on X man market that have on X marriage. Yeah,

1257
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 1: you can track them. There's a tracker on your phone. Restaurant.

1258
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:58,679
Speaker 1: I want to know about what's going on. I'll drop

1259
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 1: some way points for Jennifer trail ahead for me. It's

1260
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 1: more so that if if Shelby UM didn't know where

1261
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:07,080
Speaker 1: I was hunting. She would know who to ask, who

1262
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 1: would know where I was hunting. She would like contact

1263
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:12,120
Speaker 1: my buddy Dylan, who would know, like the exact tree

1264
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:14,360
Speaker 1: I'm in, or the exact drainage I mean, or where

1265
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:17,160
Speaker 1: I'm camping. But usually you just know that I mean

1266
01:11:17,280 --> 01:11:21,759
Speaker 1: like a state somewhere. Yeah, you should. We should probably

1267
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:24,920
Speaker 1: let Dylan in on that part of He's like part

1268
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:26,840
Speaker 1: of our system here and he should probably know that.

1269
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'd like to know general, but I would

1270
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:34,800
Speaker 1: also be a nervous wreck if I knew specifics. Jever

1271
01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:37,640
Speaker 1: had to leave, But she was wanted to chime in

1272
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:41,280
Speaker 1: that she'd like it if like all the dinners were

1273
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 1: pre cooked before I left. But what would she compliment

1274
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:51,160
Speaker 1: you on? What do you think from her prospect? She

1275
01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:54,439
Speaker 1: wasn't interested in that question. Boy, I don't know if

1276
01:11:54,439 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be all to answer that for you, Spencer,

1277
01:11:56,560 --> 01:12:01,920
Speaker 1: what think you do well? And getting ready for leaving

1278
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 1: on a trip or when you come back? Like what

1279
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 1: are you? What do you do well? And uh, you know,

1280
01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:13,240
Speaker 1: I think you feel as though, like Brodie said, it's

1281
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,120
Speaker 1: not like you've been on vacation for a week. You

1282
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:18,880
Speaker 1: come back, you're tired, but yeah, there's no like going

1283
01:12:19,040 --> 01:12:21,080
Speaker 1: and being like I'm gonna sleep in tomorrow morning. You

1284
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:24,400
Speaker 1: gotta just get up at six and start making breakfast

1285
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:26,640
Speaker 1: and get kids up and just you know, roll roll

1286
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,840
Speaker 1: right back into the zone, which I think I feel

1287
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:30,920
Speaker 1: like I do that, you know I don't. I'm not

1288
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:34,160
Speaker 1: going to be like lazy around the house for a day, Katie.

1289
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:36,160
Speaker 1: Do you have any compliments for Steve on on what

1290
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 1: he gets right? He gets the first like five hours

1291
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:44,920
Speaker 1: home really well, like you nail it. It's like you're

1292
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:48,479
Speaker 1: so excited to see everybody and you missed everybody and

1293
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,559
Speaker 1: hugs for everybody, and then you start, you know, as

1294
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:54,280
Speaker 1: in your words earlier, pissing on the posts all over

1295
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:58,000
Speaker 1: takes about Usually you get home at night, so it's

1296
01:12:58,040 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 1: like you go to bed and then you wake up

1297
01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:02,000
Speaker 1: and then you start tinkering around. But those furst when

1298
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:07,519
Speaker 1: you first get you are delightful. And then I get

1299
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,120
Speaker 1: up and go out in the garden. I'm like, sons

1300
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:14,360
Speaker 1: of bitches, nobody's done any waiting? What about where where

1301
01:13:14,439 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 1: could your spouse improve on? Like making these trips easier?

1302
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:19,559
Speaker 1: And I don't I don't get to say, I don't

1303
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:24,519
Speaker 1: get to say what a well, please, no, I want

1304
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:27,080
Speaker 1: to say I want to say what my wife? Okay? Yeah,

1305
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: so you know, like we're always mad at each other

1306
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:38,040
Speaker 1: about something what's right? Just just like stupid ship. But no,

1307
01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:40,920
Speaker 1: I was mad about that a long time ago. But

1308
01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 1: here's the thing that that I think it's important. The

1309
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:47,320
Speaker 1: main thing is like there's no one in the world

1310
01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:52,599
Speaker 1: that I trust more then my wife. Like if something

1311
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:56,439
Speaker 1: really bad happened, that's absolutely who i'd call. There's no

1312
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:01,439
Speaker 1: one i'd rather have like my kids, or like an

1313
01:14:01,560 --> 01:14:04,000
Speaker 1: eye toward what they needed, or like she would take

1314
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:05,840
Speaker 1: a bullet for him. If I had an enemy, she'd

1315
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 1: want to cut their fucking hands off, do you know

1316
01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:12,439
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like it's like that's right, Like that's

1317
01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:14,439
Speaker 1: the main thing. And all the stupid fights and ship

1318
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:17,080
Speaker 1: I mean, they just come and go. But like the

1319
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:19,679
Speaker 1: main thing is like, do you like who's the main

1320
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:26,040
Speaker 1: person you would trust to like have your family? You

1321
01:14:27,439 --> 01:14:29,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like who's at the wheel?

1322
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,160
Speaker 1: If I ever thought and if I ever felt like that,

1323
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:35,439
Speaker 1: Like if I ever felt if I ever doubted that

1324
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:39,800
Speaker 1: aspect of like do I trust the driver? Right, it

1325
01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:44,160
Speaker 1: would make all that other stuff very different yeah, but

1326
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:46,679
Speaker 1: it's always there, right. I've heard him talk about this before.

1327
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:48,960
Speaker 1: There was one time we were out having a nice

1328
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,920
Speaker 1: dinner and, um, everyone's having a nice evening until Steve

1329
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:55,120
Speaker 1: started asking people what the best part of their marriage was.

1330
01:14:55,439 --> 01:14:57,640
Speaker 1: And then someone asked, Steve, do you remember what Your

1331
01:14:57,640 --> 01:15:01,160
Speaker 1: answer was, No, I don't remember that. This is how

1332
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:03,120
Speaker 1: I got in a fight with Kal. Yes, And it

1333
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,080
Speaker 1: was the night that Cal got in the fight with Brodie.

1334
01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:13,599
Speaker 1: There's many uncomfortable people there. Anyway, it was kept the past.

1335
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:16,759
Speaker 1: It was when I think it was when Campfire Stories.

1336
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,519
Speaker 1: It was it was the celebration dinner for Campfire Stories,

1337
01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 1: and there was like a couple of fights. One of

1338
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:25,920
Speaker 1: the main fights that Browny Cow got it over was

1339
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:30,799
Speaker 1: the Elk management plan, Like really he did, and personal

1340
01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:36,160
Speaker 1: if people started kind of looking around like Jesus really, Yeah,

1341
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:40,880
Speaker 1: Steve was asking everyone fashion what like the best part

1342
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:44,040
Speaker 1: of their marriage was. And Steve's answer was that not

1343
01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 1: only are Katie and Steve on the same page, but

1344
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:49,920
Speaker 1: they're on like the same word on the same page

1345
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:53,160
Speaker 1: when it comes to parenting, um, and just all the

1346
01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:55,720
Speaker 1: things around that. And so that was exactly what you

1347
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:59,400
Speaker 1: just explained. Again, you feel the same way about that, Katie,

1348
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:03,360
Speaker 1: do Yeah. I think I mean not to just we

1349
01:16:03,439 --> 01:16:05,920
Speaker 1: are getting very personal, but not to get super personal

1350
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:12,160
Speaker 1: about our relationship. But the I think we our fights

1351
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:17,000
Speaker 1: stem from where we perceive weakness and one another, which is,

1352
01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:22,080
Speaker 1: you know, everybody, don't get married to her, ask and

1353
01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 1: then get a little sick, get married and catch COVID.

1354
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:29,000
Speaker 1: Holy sh it, dude, it's like you had an affair.

1355
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:33,880
Speaker 1: But but the flip side of that is that like,

1356
01:16:34,760 --> 01:16:39,880
Speaker 1: I trust him, he's strong, he's capable, he's loyal, like

1357
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:43,920
Speaker 1: things that I know he feels about me. Um, and

1358
01:16:44,360 --> 01:16:47,360
Speaker 1: we expect. We have very high expectations of each other,

1359
01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:51,639
Speaker 1: sometimes punishing, punishingly high expectations of each other, and most

1360
01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:56,280
Speaker 1: of the time that is to a good end. Sometimes

1361
01:16:56,360 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 1: it's punishing. Now I want to hear about where we

1362
01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:05,880
Speaker 1: can improve as the person leaving home to go hunting. Uh,

1363
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:08,280
Speaker 1: And I want us to predict first, like what our

1364
01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:10,200
Speaker 1: spouse is going to say that we could be better about.

1365
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:13,720
Speaker 1: I think that Shelby would say I could improve on

1366
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:17,000
Speaker 1: getting her a more firm schedule. Oftentimes it'll be like

1367
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:22,559
Speaker 1: I'm going in mid October to Wyoming to analope punt uh,

1368
01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:25,120
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, I will be gone sometime between

1369
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:27,680
Speaker 1: the tenth and fifteenth and get home sometime between the

1370
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:31,400
Speaker 1: I recognize that's a very hard thing to plan for

1371
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,719
Speaker 1: when you're the other person in the equation not knowing

1372
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,759
Speaker 1: like what this five day window is in a fifteen

1373
01:17:36,840 --> 01:17:39,120
Speaker 1: day stretch. So I think that's something that if you

1374
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,840
Speaker 1: could make a request, would be that I get better

1375
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:46,360
Speaker 1: about my scheduling and giving you more firm dates. Yes,

1376
01:17:46,960 --> 01:17:50,960
Speaker 1: I don't think that's realistic, like at all. So many

1377
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:55,080
Speaker 1: of your hunts depend on the hunt prior, right, Like

1378
01:17:55,479 --> 01:17:58,879
Speaker 1: whether or not you're even going to go to Wyoming

1379
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:01,160
Speaker 1: depends on if you get your archery buck in South

1380
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 1: Dakota or whatever. I um, I guess if I had

1381
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:08,680
Speaker 1: to pick one thing I wish you were better at.

1382
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:10,599
Speaker 1: I wish I just got to do more fun things

1383
01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:12,800
Speaker 1: with you in the fall, right, like, we do fun

1384
01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:15,720
Speaker 1: things all the time, will go camping whenever we want.

1385
01:18:15,760 --> 01:18:18,559
Speaker 1: We're very not tied down down anything, so we get

1386
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:20,479
Speaker 1: to be a little spontaneous. And I don't get to

1387
01:18:20,920 --> 01:18:24,200
Speaker 1: do the cute cie like fall things, right, I don't

1388
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,800
Speaker 1: get to go out picking. We never carved a jack

1389
01:18:27,840 --> 01:18:32,400
Speaker 1: O lantern. I want to do that, suf. I'm not

1390
01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:35,000
Speaker 1: happy about it either. I know I would love Halloween

1391
01:18:35,080 --> 01:18:41,240
Speaker 1: costume contest, Yes I would. I would hardcore be into

1392
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:44,200
Speaker 1: it if it wasn't in November. So it's just the

1393
01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:46,960
Speaker 1: reality of it. Though, Danielle, what could Chester do better

1394
01:18:47,080 --> 01:18:48,800
Speaker 1: when he listened to this episode? What's he going to

1395
01:18:48,960 --> 01:18:52,760
Speaker 1: learn that he could improve on? M This is a

1396
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:55,920
Speaker 1: tough one. He's that good or there's a lot of

1397
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:58,519
Speaker 1: things that he can improve on. No, I mean, like

1398
01:18:58,880 --> 01:19:01,960
Speaker 1: I think, well, he doesn't hunt as much as he

1399
01:19:02,080 --> 01:19:05,120
Speaker 1: liked to. It's mainly everything I've talked about is work

1400
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:07,439
Speaker 1: because that is like it's on a hunt. A lot

1401
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:10,600
Speaker 1: of you guys, your troops are hunts. So that is

1402
01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:13,599
Speaker 1: what I consider his his hunt schedule. When he's home,

1403
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:20,000
Speaker 1: he doesn't really hunt, at least he hasn't in a while. Like, Okay, yes,

1404
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:24,400
Speaker 1: I liked he fishes all the time. It's fishing for

1405
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:27,120
Speaker 1: all you guys you're hunting, it's fishing for Chester. So

1406
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:30,160
Speaker 1: he fishes all the time. So I guess to be honest,

1407
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:33,720
Speaker 1: now that just all like clicked. Um. I would say

1408
01:19:33,840 --> 01:19:36,800
Speaker 1: a schedule is great because he's always like he always

1409
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:38,320
Speaker 1: comes up to me and he's like real nice. He's like,

1410
01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:40,479
Speaker 1: do we have any plants? Because I don't think he did,

1411
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:42,280
Speaker 1: because I was going to go fishing. But if you

1412
01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:44,400
Speaker 1: don't want me to go, I'll stay. Like I wish

1413
01:19:44,439 --> 01:19:46,720
Speaker 1: I just knew more of Like I know, there's spontaneous

1414
01:19:46,720 --> 01:19:48,920
Speaker 1: trips and he can't control it. But it is nice

1415
01:19:48,960 --> 01:19:52,360
Speaker 1: when especially for my schedule because I'm so busy as well.

1416
01:19:52,479 --> 01:19:54,600
Speaker 1: It's just be nice and like, hey, I'm gonna be

1417
01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:57,599
Speaker 1: gone for five days this day fishing. Somewhere at least

1418
01:19:57,600 --> 01:19:59,680
Speaker 1: I knew, like, okay, sweet, you'll be gone. Let's try

1419
01:19:59,720 --> 01:20:02,240
Speaker 1: to get let's try to do something before you leave.

1420
01:20:02,600 --> 01:20:06,160
Speaker 1: You and Kelsey should share a calendar so then instead

1421
01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:09,559
Speaker 1: of like getting of the picture from your husband's, you'd

1422
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:14,240
Speaker 1: get the picture. No, we do. We do that because

1423
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:16,920
Speaker 1: there is fish together. Half time they're fishing together anyways

1424
01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:21,080
Speaker 1: a lot always Yeah, yeah, now we do that, Kelsey.

1425
01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:26,400
Speaker 1: What could Seth do better? Um, well, I've been talking

1426
01:20:26,439 --> 01:20:29,120
Speaker 1: about like our systems and our plans. Everything that actually

1427
01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:31,120
Speaker 1: has worked out to the point where I don't have

1428
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:34,439
Speaker 1: a lot of gripes. Um. The only thing that's been

1429
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:38,120
Speaker 1: like a problem. And this only applies to meat eater

1430
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:43,400
Speaker 1: work trips. Honestly, Like I I love to hunt too,

1431
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:47,160
Speaker 1: So when Seth is hunting personally, I'm there, so this

1432
01:20:47,320 --> 01:20:50,200
Speaker 1: is like not a personal hunt problem. But when he's

1433
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:52,760
Speaker 1: going on a work trip, it's very A lot of

1434
01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:55,280
Speaker 1: times the turnaround between these things is like one day,

1435
01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:59,240
Speaker 1: so it just naturally happens, and it's a lot of

1436
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,880
Speaker 1: times not this is out of his control that there's

1437
01:21:01,920 --> 01:21:04,519
Speaker 1: like a tornado of ship left around the house just

1438
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:08,519
Speaker 1: because he's like in and out that only one person

1439
01:21:08,680 --> 01:21:12,439
Speaker 1: is left to like handle So that's the only thing

1440
01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:14,800
Speaker 1: that gets to me sometimes. But we talked about it

1441
01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:18,320
Speaker 1: and it's gotten a lot better. Carrie tell Brodie how

1442
01:21:18,439 --> 01:21:21,120
Speaker 1: he can improve well the the stuff lying around the

1443
01:21:21,160 --> 01:21:24,479
Speaker 1: house when they get home with like the dump that thing.

1444
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,400
Speaker 1: He knows that, But you know, I thought of one

1445
01:21:26,400 --> 01:21:28,559
Speaker 1: other thing that Brodie doesn't really dump it in the yard.

1446
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:33,960
Speaker 1: But then that's still got to be the awning or something.

1447
01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,599
Speaker 1: I don't know, Well I got dump in the house.

1448
01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:44,000
Speaker 1: But you know what does one thing he does do

1449
01:21:44,120 --> 01:21:47,960
Speaker 1: well is he puts equal energy into planning outings and

1450
01:21:48,240 --> 01:21:51,120
Speaker 1: doing things for our family and getting those trips together,

1451
01:21:51,320 --> 01:21:54,120
Speaker 1: and that means everything they're supposed to be talking about

1452
01:21:54,120 --> 01:21:57,360
Speaker 1: something bad. I know, but I missed that part earlier.

1453
01:21:57,479 --> 01:22:00,160
Speaker 1: But it is. And it's really like when we're doing ups,

1454
01:22:00,200 --> 01:22:03,000
Speaker 1: which we do all summer long, we do all fall.

1455
01:22:03,479 --> 01:22:05,759
Speaker 1: He really puts like he puts the whole thing together,

1456
01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:07,600
Speaker 1: He gets the food together, he does a lot of

1457
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:11,519
Speaker 1: that's that work, and that's a important to our whole family.

1458
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:15,519
Speaker 1: It really is a lot of our fun and good

1459
01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:18,720
Speaker 1: times and memories around that. Janni, we're gonna needed to

1460
01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:21,240
Speaker 1: role play here. What would your wife say that you

1461
01:22:21,320 --> 01:22:23,599
Speaker 1: could improve on when you're going on a hunting trip.

1462
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:27,240
Speaker 1: Just have the whole house spick and span and have

1463
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:33,680
Speaker 1: seven meals pre prepared with little instructions. Request like that

1464
01:22:34,040 --> 01:22:36,040
Speaker 1: something that you can pull off and that she would

1465
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:39,200
Speaker 1: use to imagine that changed the whole dynamic. Man, I know,

1466
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:41,200
Speaker 1: but it might be like Yanni needs a whole extra

1467
01:22:41,320 --> 01:22:46,280
Speaker 1: day before a trip to to do multiple Yeah. Yeah,

1468
01:22:46,360 --> 01:22:48,880
Speaker 1: it's it's that's a lot of work to make meals.

1469
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:51,000
Speaker 1: You know what if you just make a double batch

1470
01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:55,040
Speaker 1: of things when you're triple and then just save one

1471
01:22:55,120 --> 01:22:58,680
Speaker 1: for the trip. We do that. Just this is from

1472
01:22:58,720 --> 01:23:03,000
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't cook. So you know, when someone dies

1473
01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:06,000
Speaker 1: and in your neighbors bring over like a thing it's got.

1474
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:10,559
Speaker 1: It just says like three degrees, you know, a minute

1475
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:13,679
Speaker 1: degrees and ship just do all that a meal train.

1476
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:16,800
Speaker 1: That's what they call special drawer to put him in

1477
01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:22,000
Speaker 1: in the freezer and yeah, Monday drawer, Tuesday drawer. I

1478
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:25,080
Speaker 1: always said that we should start a little meat eater

1479
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:29,840
Speaker 1: spinoff reality show called Wives of Meat Eater. Yeah, what

1480
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:33,840
Speaker 1: would people witness? What? What would be like the entertainment there? Oh? Man,

1481
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. It actually would probably be very boring

1482
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:40,799
Speaker 1: in you know, in reality, but I like it, Katie.

1483
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:44,400
Speaker 1: What what can Steve improve on for these trips? I

1484
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:51,439
Speaker 1: think the extending that wonderful five hour appreciation period to

1485
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:55,120
Speaker 1: just when he's home could be nice and instead of

1486
01:23:55,840 --> 01:23:57,880
Speaker 1: But I do think I think the thing that he

1487
01:23:58,479 --> 01:24:01,760
Speaker 1: does well, which is also a tip that I think

1488
01:24:01,840 --> 01:24:06,200
Speaker 1: has changed, are at least in the planning, which has

1489
01:24:06,240 --> 01:24:09,679
Speaker 1: been so hard to know, Like, okay, he always puts

1490
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:13,640
Speaker 1: things on the calendar at the he like over promises.

1491
01:24:14,080 --> 01:24:15,560
Speaker 1: What is the what am I trying to say? He

1492
01:24:16,439 --> 01:24:20,080
Speaker 1: over under promises, over delivers um. He will say I'm

1493
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:22,559
Speaker 1: going to be gone for ten days and then sometimes

1494
01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:24,439
Speaker 1: he'll come back and eight and then it's always like, oh,

1495
01:24:24,920 --> 01:24:27,960
Speaker 1: that's great and unexpected, not when you have a nest.

1496
01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:39,639
Speaker 1: Well that's true, yeah, but that has been That's actually

1497
01:24:39,680 --> 01:24:42,720
Speaker 1: been a big game changer for us because when it

1498
01:24:42,920 --> 01:24:45,040
Speaker 1: was eight days and he didn't get it done and

1499
01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:48,360
Speaker 1: needed to stay too extra, those two extra were like

1500
01:24:48,520 --> 01:24:52,880
Speaker 1: the straw that broke the camel's back. So always, you know,

1501
01:24:53,120 --> 01:24:56,640
Speaker 1: fudget a little and then come back early, even if

1502
01:24:56,720 --> 01:25:01,639
Speaker 1: it was never planned. What you come home early, usually

1503
01:25:02,040 --> 01:25:04,040
Speaker 1: you'll you'll promise more. You'll say you're going to be

1504
01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:07,080
Speaker 1: gone longer than than you are. Yeah, that's just being

1505
01:25:07,160 --> 01:25:11,320
Speaker 1: smart though, like the hot tip, it took ten years.

1506
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:13,880
Speaker 1: And I blame Shelby for when I do that. If

1507
01:25:13,880 --> 01:25:15,960
Speaker 1: I come home after three days and I was supposed

1508
01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:17,479
Speaker 1: to be gone five, I tell her she made the

1509
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:20,000
Speaker 1: home too comfortable. That makes me not want to leave it.

1510
01:25:22,439 --> 01:25:25,000
Speaker 1: That's her fault. That's cute. Did the rest of you

1511
01:25:25,400 --> 01:25:28,840
Speaker 1: spouses get to participate in like Halloween costume parties and

1512
01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:32,439
Speaker 1: carving pumpkins and Christmas shopping during the fall or is

1513
01:25:32,479 --> 01:25:34,080
Speaker 1: that also just like dude? This year I grew the

1514
01:25:34,160 --> 01:25:37,360
Speaker 1: damn hompkins. Are they coming along? Yeah, they're not like

1515
01:25:37,479 --> 01:25:40,080
Speaker 1: state fair winners. But but you did it so you

1516
01:25:40,160 --> 01:25:45,400
Speaker 1: didn't have to go with me. That's a hot tip

1517
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:48,120
Speaker 1: because she likes to go those those places where you

1518
01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:51,880
Speaker 1: go like you know, get your like whatever. Man. Yeah,

1519
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:54,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make her a little I'm gonna make I've

1520
01:25:54,439 --> 01:25:57,479
Speaker 1: growing her pumpkins. I'm gonna make a little Scavengers hunt

1521
01:25:57,520 --> 01:25:59,639
Speaker 1: four in the yard. Her friend was saying, I should

1522
01:25:59,640 --> 01:26:02,679
Speaker 1: do like a lit face painting booth and face painter

1523
01:26:02,800 --> 01:26:04,439
Speaker 1: and have like my own little Halloween thing and then

1524
01:26:04,479 --> 01:26:07,400
Speaker 1: don't need to have like cider and ship and then

1525
01:26:07,439 --> 01:26:08,760
Speaker 1: I can just get all that taken care of about

1526
01:26:08,760 --> 01:26:10,120
Speaker 1: my house and I need to go to some fake

1527
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:12,720
Speaker 1: pumpkin patch. You are all invited, and we can do

1528
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:19,599
Speaker 1: it when Spencer is around. Can we have that schedule? Yeah?

1529
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,760
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even I don't. I don't have

1530
01:26:21,880 --> 01:26:24,080
Speaker 1: any I can't. I don't really honest to see any

1531
01:26:24,120 --> 01:26:27,640
Speaker 1: real areas for improvement. I mean no, no, no, I

1532
01:26:27,760 --> 01:26:32,200
Speaker 1: have massive No, no, I have massive areas for improvement.

1533
01:26:32,960 --> 01:26:35,479
Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't really like. I mean, I

1534
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,400
Speaker 1: have like little gripes and stuff, but there's no like

1535
01:26:37,520 --> 01:26:40,160
Speaker 1: sort of fundamental thing that that ought to be different.

1536
01:26:41,400 --> 01:26:46,680
Speaker 1: You know, I disagree our most recent argument where you

1537
01:26:46,840 --> 01:26:49,840
Speaker 1: just were like, you're being a bit, let's stop being

1538
01:26:49,880 --> 01:26:52,200
Speaker 1: a bit, and I was like, you're right, I'm being

1539
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:55,679
Speaker 1: a bit, so just in the general sense of yeah,

1540
01:26:58,160 --> 01:27:02,240
Speaker 1: called out. It was about like figure it out, our

1541
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:05,880
Speaker 1: fish shack. This is a lot of complicated accounting. At

1542
01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:07,280
Speaker 1: the end of the summers, we haven't. It takes a

1543
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:12,519
Speaker 1: lot of balls off. I've never actually, you know, because

1544
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:14,720
Speaker 1: here's I want to wrap it up. It was only

1545
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:21,120
Speaker 1: after I called him she called me every name in

1546
01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:25,680
Speaker 1: the book and was like insulting um, like like the

1547
01:27:25,800 --> 01:27:28,240
Speaker 1: dumbest guy on the planets. I can't figure out certain

1548
01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:33,200
Speaker 1: math things right, and and I like gave her a

1549
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:36,120
Speaker 1: little taste of her medicine, to which she said, you're right.

1550
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:43,240
Speaker 1: Eventually took some convincing. That's kind of an awkward way

1551
01:27:43,280 --> 01:27:47,120
Speaker 1: to end it, Spencer, sorry about that. It's it's good.

1552
01:27:47,800 --> 01:27:50,800
Speaker 1: Just choose your moment to call your spouse a bit

1553
01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:56,000
Speaker 1: and maybe it'll work. Don't do that. The word she

1554
01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:58,800
Speaker 1: called me, I was like, Later she's like, I said,

1555
01:27:58,880 --> 01:28:01,000
Speaker 1: you're being a and I said that you know you

1556
01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:06,880
Speaker 1: left off you left off the being a. Yeah, she

1557
01:28:06,960 --> 01:28:09,960
Speaker 1: said you are A and I was like, but I

1558
01:28:10,320 --> 01:28:13,120
Speaker 1: was saying, like, if you said you're being a, that's

1559
01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:15,640
Speaker 1: totally fine, but don't say I am A because that

1560
01:28:15,720 --> 01:28:19,799
Speaker 1: feels like really like that cuts. We all have areas

1561
01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:27,120
Speaker 1: for improvement. In particular there you have all that marriages

1562
01:28:32,040 --> 01:28:37,519
Speaker 1: No mine, man, I'm in too deep now. Um. Yeah,

1563
01:28:39,120 --> 01:28:41,160
Speaker 1: I honestly think that there's a lot of things that

1564
01:28:41,280 --> 01:28:45,360
Speaker 1: come out of I think if you travel a lot

1565
01:28:45,479 --> 01:28:49,759
Speaker 1: and do and do stuff, I feel like there's probably

1566
01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:52,240
Speaker 1: plenty of people who can't manage their marriage and they

1567
01:28:52,320 --> 01:28:55,680
Speaker 1: never go anywhere. Yeah, do you know what I mean.

1568
01:28:56,680 --> 01:28:59,439
Speaker 1: I think it's like it's like trouble's gonna Trouble's gonna

1569
01:28:59,520 --> 01:29:03,400
Speaker 1: find you and and it's gonna find whatever the thing

1570
01:29:03,479 --> 01:29:05,600
Speaker 1: you have going on. Yeah, if you allow hunting to

1571
01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:07,680
Speaker 1: cause a bunch of big problems, if you're probably in

1572
01:29:07,760 --> 01:29:12,240
Speaker 1: trouble already, Probably in trouble already. But but like, uh,

1573
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:16,960
Speaker 1: I think I shared this perspective from and Katie totally disagrees.

1574
01:29:17,600 --> 01:29:22,800
Speaker 1: Me and my friend Tony one time were, um, it

1575
01:29:22,920 --> 01:29:26,479
Speaker 1: had taken all of our kids clam digging which how

1576
01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:29,320
Speaker 1: many how many kids they have four or three? He's

1577
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:31,640
Speaker 1: got a bunch of them. We took clam digging. This

1578
01:29:31,680 --> 01:29:33,800
Speaker 1: is fighting on the same trip. He had his kids

1579
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:36,639
Speaker 1: in one of those backpack deels. I forgot to buckle

1580
01:29:36,720 --> 01:29:40,519
Speaker 1: it in so a little kid and he bent over

1581
01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:48,879
Speaker 1: to dig a clam that kids right out of water. Anyways,

1582
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:50,599
Speaker 1: you're like you gotta saying earlier. I always feel good

1583
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:52,200
Speaker 1: if I'm out with all my kids. Can I feel

1584
01:29:52,200 --> 01:29:53,920
Speaker 1: like I'm not doing anything bad? Right, so I'm being

1585
01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:58,320
Speaker 1: a good dad. We're outside like it's just you feel great. Um.

1586
01:29:59,040 --> 01:30:03,000
Speaker 1: And then we were gone super late and I remember

1587
01:30:03,040 --> 01:30:05,600
Speaker 1: got pulled over by a policeman and we both got

1588
01:30:05,680 --> 01:30:07,240
Speaker 1: a little bit. We both got kind of yelled at

1589
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,479
Speaker 1: over the phone, like his wife called and kind of

1590
01:30:09,560 --> 01:30:11,360
Speaker 1: yelled at him. My wife called, kind of yelled at

1591
01:30:11,400 --> 01:30:15,719
Speaker 1: your kids. Will were little little bit and um, Tony

1592
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:18,840
Speaker 1: said to me, Katie hates this quote. Tony said to me, Man,

1593
01:30:19,520 --> 01:30:21,280
Speaker 1: if we were the way they wanted us to be,

1594
01:30:21,400 --> 01:30:25,840
Speaker 1: they wouldn't like us, which I think we'd like him

1595
01:30:25,880 --> 01:30:30,640
Speaker 1: a lot more actually, but yeah, it brings up I

1596
01:30:30,680 --> 01:30:33,559
Speaker 1: don't know, I think it, Uh, it brings up interesting stuff.

1597
01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:36,840
Speaker 1: Marriage is fun, though, man um, I'd hate it. I

1598
01:30:36,840 --> 01:30:39,479
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to go through life not being married, not

1599
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:41,240
Speaker 1: to hack on people that aren't married. I mean it's great,

1600
01:30:41,240 --> 01:30:43,360
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying for me personally, I think it'd

1601
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:47,479
Speaker 1: be miserable. I would be miserable not being married. So

1602
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:49,479
Speaker 1: I have a good hunting season, no asterday trying to

1603
01:30:49,479 --> 01:30:53,280
Speaker 1: stay married. He's all these tips. He's Yanni's tip where

1604
01:30:53,280 --> 01:30:56,120
Speaker 1: you bake all these special dishes and leave instructions on him.

1605
01:30:57,400 --> 01:31:01,000
Speaker 1: Use Brodie's trick where you come home and put everything

1606
01:31:01,080 --> 01:31:03,320
Speaker 1: neat and organized outside where no one has to deal

1607
01:31:03,400 --> 01:31:07,280
Speaker 1: with it. You know, Spencer's trick where he comes and

1608
01:31:07,360 --> 01:31:11,360
Speaker 1: just lays in the nest, talks about how great the

1609
01:31:11,439 --> 01:31:15,639
Speaker 1: nest is. I don't embrace it. He despises the nests

1610
01:31:16,560 --> 01:31:19,760
Speaker 1: and and everyone and everyone will be fine, all right? Uh?

1611
01:31:20,680 --> 01:31:24,479
Speaker 1: Thanks tuning in as always, And oh you know what,

1612
01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:26,759
Speaker 1: I forgot to give the best marriage advice ever. Cornett

1613
01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:31,080
Speaker 1: McCarthy doesn't actually say this, but feels roll in his eyes.

1614
01:31:31,920 --> 01:31:33,920
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be an episode of The Mediator podcast without

1615
01:31:33,920 --> 01:31:37,600
Speaker 1: a Corrine McCarthy coke mo, it's not it's not a

1616
01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:39,840
Speaker 1: corn McCarthy quote. It's a way that things work. In

1617
01:31:39,920 --> 01:31:44,240
Speaker 1: Corn McCarthy's books. The worst thing you can do, if

1618
01:31:44,320 --> 01:31:46,760
Speaker 1: you're like the way to the worst thing you can

1619
01:31:46,800 --> 01:31:49,720
Speaker 1: do as a character and a Corine McCarthy novel is

1620
01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:53,479
Speaker 1: act as though you didn't make a decision that you made.

1621
01:31:55,240 --> 01:31:57,280
Speaker 1: Once you make a decision to go down a path,

1622
01:31:57,960 --> 01:32:02,200
Speaker 1: there is no room to later sort of act like

1623
01:32:02,280 --> 01:32:05,439
Speaker 1: you hadn't made that decision, Like you cannot live a

1624
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:12,479
Speaker 1: false reality because you'll die violently in his books. In

1625
01:32:12,600 --> 01:32:18,120
Speaker 1: real life, you'll suffer mightily. That's all. Wait, what's the

1626
01:32:18,160 --> 01:32:22,759
Speaker 1: advice that own it? Own it if you make a commitment.

1627
01:32:22,760 --> 01:32:25,200
Speaker 1: You made a commitment. A lot of good reasons for

1628
01:32:25,280 --> 01:32:28,200
Speaker 1: people to get divorced if they choose to do that.

1629
01:32:28,439 --> 01:32:34,760
Speaker 1: But yeah, I own it if you can. Sure we

1630
01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:38,760
Speaker 1: somehow made a more awkward ending at you're talking about

1631
01:32:38,800 --> 01:32:43,439
Speaker 1: how you should call your spouse a bit being a

1632
01:32:46,320 --> 01:33:06,800
Speaker 1: all right body. Thanks a lot to the pe