WEBVTT - Anna Faris 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:04.360 Do you think I'm too old to play Annie? I? 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:13.400 I do. Won't you be my Miss Hannigan though? You know, 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:16.079 because by the way, we're at the perfect age to 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:19.120 play Miss Hannigan and I'm older than you. I'll tell 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:22.919 you what man up? Play Daddy Warbox? Yeah, I will 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.840 do that. Now you're not you can forever be Annie. 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:31.040 I come see that, I come see that like every night. Hello, 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:35.280 I'm Mini driver and welcome to many questions. I've always 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.040 loved pruce questionnaire. It was originally an eighteenth century parlor 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.640 game meant to reveal an individual's true nature. But with 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.879 so many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:48.880 on anything. So I took the format of Pruce's questionnaire 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:51.640 and adapted What I think are seven of the most 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:56.240 important questions you could ever ask someone. They are when 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.840 and where were you happiest? What is the quality you 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:05.520 least about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:11.600 for you? What question would you most like answered, What person, place, 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.840 or experience has shaped you the most? What would be 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:19.680 your last meal? And can you tell me something in 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.680 your life that has grown out of a personal disaster? 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:26.440 The more people we ask, the more we begin to 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:29.480 see what makes us similar and what makes us individual. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.520 I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.720 am honored and humbled to have had a chance to 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:41.399 engage with. My guest today is actress and podcaster Anna Faris. 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.760 Anna is a very curious creature. I was recently the 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:50.640 guest on her podcast Unqualified, and the questions she asked 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:54.520 me were not only far reaching and interesting, they gently 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.440 asked for real interrogation of my experience having a second 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:02.840 chapter to a conversation. By inviting her onto this podcast 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:07.760 was an absolute treat, as her answers have the same 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:11.840 depth as her questions, which always makes for a lively 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:18.440 and memorable chat. What is the quality you like least 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:22.520 about yourself? I think that I can be neglectful towards 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:30.160 my relationships, specifically my friendships, and that also ties in 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:35.720 with my laziness. I have developed a reputation for being 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:40.840 very phone inattentive, so people don't really reach out to 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:44.160 me so much anymore. It's my friend Amanda's birthday today. 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:45.720 She was one of my very first friends that I 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:50.280 made in Los Angeles and she is great with birthdays. 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:56.160 Which is always thoughtful, always sending cards, always thinking about me, 0:02:56.840 --> 0:03:00.680 and I haven't done anything for her birthday. Yeah, I'm 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.760 embarrassed and lazy about it. Do you mean that you 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.480 are bad about maintaining friendships because work and that programming 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.480 of ambition which you sort of have to have if 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:14.160 you're an actress an actor? Is that what got on 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.600 the way of it? Perhaps? But I was. I've always 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:20.480 been a person with few friends me too. I believe 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.360 that about you, Minnie. Yeah, really, really, Johnny, no friends, 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:27.280 I mean really, maybe like six friends. I believe that 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:29.880 because I believe that you're an intimate person and will 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:31.880 not to say that people with tons of friends aren't 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:38.040 intimate people. That's rude, incorrect. You are quite right, But 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.960 it does feel like I'm not great at the day 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.040 to day attentiveness. I never was, and I feel like 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:49.040 there is maybe more pressure on our gender to be 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:53.040 better at those things. Thank you notes, birthday cards, just 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.520 being thoughtful. I think about myself a lot, Minnie. You 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:01.040 think about yourself being an asshole. You're not. You're not. 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:06.680 You're so attentive and sort of involved and engaged with people, 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:11.760 but then they think goodbye, goodbye and meeting for all. Yes, please, 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.599 it's funny. I think that massive expansion that fame like 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.640 if fame is like a bomb going off, and there's 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:25.080 that extraordinary pressure that is released. In order to kind 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:27.320 of cope with the fallout after it and the sheer 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:32.440 kind of mass of energy, one becomes inattentive to other things, 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:35.920 things that are other than the maintenance of that energy. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.680 In a way, I found it impossible in my twenties 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.080 to maintain friendships because I was so busy working and 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.120 sort of prostrating myself at the altar of fame and 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.599 ambition and loving working so much and loving that experience. 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.039 As I got a bit older, I became more attentive 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:56.320 to less friendships. And don't you find the would age 0:04:56.320 --> 0:05:01.640 your feelings get hurt so much less? Yeah? Yes, yes, 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:07.000 laugh of an enormous amount do, But that's good. The 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:11.560 other day, we were in Hawaii. My parents invested in 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.880 a time share there about twenty years ago. On the 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:20.280 way to the airport, I was talking with the cab 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:24.080 driver about lava and he was giving me a great 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:28.680 lecture on different forms of lava and what its uses are, 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.760 and so I was, you know, gaining a new appreciation 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:35.640 for rock and and then at the end of the 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:38.760 trip he said, this is such a weird humble brag, 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.320 I suppose, but he said, you know, you're pretty funny 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.760 in person too, which I was delighted by. But I 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:49.840 also had not made the assumption that he had recognized me. 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:53.240 And I think that I go through even with this 0:05:53.520 --> 0:06:00.800 shockingly bleached blonde hair, I move about life without that assumption. 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:04.000 And it took me aback a little bit, and I 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:11.359 was a little bit to disappoint. It sounds drastic, but um, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.960 you were bum You weren't just having a regular conversation 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.320 about love that it might have been fueled by his 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.200 shit I'm having it. I'm having a conversation with aunt 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.279 affairs a little bit. Or maybe it was that because 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.760 I felt like I was being kind of funny and witty, 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:29.200 and everybody in the car was exhausted and silent, and 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.159 so I was just kind of hamming it up with 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:37.480 the taxi driver, and I felt anonymous, I guess, and 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:42.120 liberated in that if he had mentioned that before, I 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.920 probably would have been pretty quiet. Maybe I don't know. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:49.080 Sometimes I lean into it and ham it up more. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:53.159 But it's also a relief, I think because there was 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:58.080 a time in my twenties when it felt electric to 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:01.800 be recognized and I did you know, I went through 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.000 those phases of wondering if I would get a good 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:06.880 table or what you know what I mean, like just 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:15.119 if somehow people would be you know, breathless. It's oh god, 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:19.360 there she is, scary, scary movie, There she is, Tana. 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:24.200 I think I've shed a little bit of that with age, 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.680 which is nice, or at least just what it occupied 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.480 in my mind. Then it's funny. It's just funny about 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:33.760 wanting to escape the thing which you was so exciting 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.760 and that you wanted to foster. Like I loved it 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.120 when people recognize me when I was younger, and now 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.400 I sort of hope that they don't. Usually it's because 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:45.560 you're in your pajamas browing milk. I was at the 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.080 Beverly Center probably when I was twenty three, and I 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:56.080 was wearing white, low slung jeans. I was probably wearing 0:07:56.280 --> 0:08:00.560 a G string. Maybe probably not because I'm verified of 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:04.720 bump flows. Yeah I don't. I don't need to be 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.840 reminded all the time that I have a crot. But 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.720 this man came up to me and he said are 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.840 you who I think you are? And I was coy 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.840 because I was so excited, and I said, uh, god, 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.480 you know, I don't know, like who do you? Who 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.000 do you think I am? And he said, no, you're not. 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.800 And so we did that for a second, which was stupid, 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:29.000 and he was like, I don't know if you are 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:33.520 and I said, I'm the girl from Scary Movie and 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.200 he said, ah funk, I thought you were Britney Spears, 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:42.920 which was a huge compliment. Oh my god. It was 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:47.640 a complicated moment just in general. Wait, did I tell 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:49.920 you about Did I tell you about Stevie Wonder? No. 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.920 I was at the Grove, like I don't know, fifteen 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:55.880 years ago, and I just come from a photo shoot 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:57.960 and I did have big hair and I was still 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:00.920 in sort of like heels, and I walked by Stevie 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.040 Wonder and his security guarden his girlfriend and I walked 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.360 by them and then I I just stopped and I 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.840 was like, there was Stevie Wonder, maybe only like two 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:11.760 other people who have meant as much musically. I have 0:09:11.880 --> 0:09:14.480 to go back and say hello. I just have to. 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.120 So I went back and I did the completely embarrassing 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.400 thing of saying hello and the whole thing and you know, 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:22.480 I love you and in a vision has changed my 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:24.960 life and I love you and you're amazing and I 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:27.280 love you, and he was he was so he was like, 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.920 that's great, that's great. And he was like, and what's 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:33.640 your name? And his girlfriend went, oh, Stevie, it's Mariah 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:39.480 Carey and I went, no, no, no, no, it isn't. 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.000 I was so mortified, and I was so embarrassed in 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:47.280 the girl. The girl really confused and I was like, 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:52.400 I'm I'm British. It was honestly, it was one of 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:55.480 those moments where you hope that someone might recognize who 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.480 you are, but you also hope that they might not 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:00.920 think that you're Mariah Carey, because I carry that could 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:15.800 be only one, you know. Okay, So what person, place, 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:20.680 or experience has most altered your life? I thought about 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.320 this question, and I think the best, the largest idea 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:27.680 I could come up with is my parents decision to 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.760 move to Seattle when I was six years old. I 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:34.080 was born in Baltimore. My dad was a professor at 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:38.840 Housing State University of Sociology, and both my parents grew 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:43.080 up in Washington State, and my parents insistence on Raisin 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:47.880 Us in Washington gave me the theater culture that I 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:51.319 grew up with. It was also a really fascinating time 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:55.360 in Seattle too, even though I was definitely observing it 0:10:55.400 --> 0:11:00.319 from a distance. But it was a time of economic depression, 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:06.480 and so it gave birth to grunge and in the 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.800 nineties I wish it could I could legitimize that more 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:13.400 and not use the word angst. But did it give 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:16.360 you something to push up against? Like watching you know, 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:19.480 this sort of musical movement happened and it was clearly 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.679 a super vibe place, and there were other people who 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.280 were reacting to it, all those musicians, all those bands. 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.240 Was that the general feeling that you feel was good. 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:34.040 It fed into something in my personality that felt very resistant, 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.280 that felt very angry. I can't remember if I told 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:40.240 you this. I was very angry that I was born 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:43.760 a woman. Were you not that I was born a woman? 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:49.880 But I was. I had just really absorbed the inequality. 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:53.040 I have an older brother who I love him dearly, 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.640 but growing up we did not get along. He was 0:11:56.760 --> 0:12:00.319 big and popular and like physically big, and we were 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:07.200 completely opposite and we just fought all the time. And 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:11.640 I just felt that injustice of being a woman, and 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:16.800 at that time too, being in Seattle, where there was 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:21.160 like it felt like it could be nurtured easily. That 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:28.080 just unchangeable frustration of circumstance in life, and that felt good, 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.800 Um to feed that. Do you think that it's creative 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.720 to feel that like that, that feeling, that conflict, feeling 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.320 that that is actually super creative that when you feel 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.920 a bit uncomfortable, it forces you to reimagine and to 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:47.199 keep imagining and to create. Definitely, I wrote a lot more, 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.880 and I had an odd sense of style. I wore 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.360 a lot of black, I wore big boots. I went 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.280 through this period freshman year where it was the first 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:01.560 time I felt attractive in my life, and I would 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:08.600 wear these tiny little skirts just barely covering my ass 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.559 and like thy high stockings, and it was like I 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:16.360 was truly experimenting. Yet I was terrified of men. I 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:20.080 was so terrified of the boys. It was like I 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.360 was I got to experiment playing various characters during that 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.280 time as well. I remember my brother ran into me 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.680 on campus. I was like smoking, I was wearing this 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:34.040 really promiscuous outfit, and he was just shocked and I 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:37.120 was so embarrassed. I think that's part of the right 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:40.600 of passage of women, is that we were so unsure 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.840 of how sexuality is meant to be metabolized because we're 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.360 told that it is to be metabolized by a man. 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.800 So are you supposed to dress for them to attract 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:53.360 them or you to dress for you to feel that 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:56.320 so you you become more confident in whatever it is. 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.160 I've always been confused, but I think that it is 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.520 someone part of a woman trying to figure out who 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.320 she is is the way that she dresses when she's young, 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:08.640 and her relationship with the world. I e. Men, but many, 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:12.280 and I felt so hungry for it. I was so 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:17.160 hungry in high school. I had a couple of stunning 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:21.800 friends and I just yearned. I wanted to be that, so, 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:26.160 I mean, who doesn't. So getting a little bit of 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:32.640 attention in college made me feel like it made me 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:37.280 feel irrationally angry because it felt like, fuck you, where 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:44.040 have you been? Which is nonsense. But I think I 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:51.040 was hungry for glances and attention from men. And I 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.600 would go to fraternity parties and I would pretend that 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:58.200 I was fifteen because my theory was these guys would 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:01.880 still try to sleep with me. Like I I was 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.680 very confused. I was mad, and I wanted them to 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:12.120 prove me right. Isn't that odd? Oh god, yeah, it's awful. 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:16.640 It's like the gauntlet, the gauntlet that young women run, 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.160 or feel that they're expected to run in order to 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:23.440 figure out this thing that sort of biased against them fundamentally, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.600 which is judgment, judgment of the way that you look, 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.440 judgment of how in quotes hot you are. My mom 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:34.720 tried to protect me from it. She tried to. She 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:39.240 never let me look at women's magazines. I wasn't allowed 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:43.560 to like watch MTV or she has the whole diet 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:49.680 tribe about pretty woman and grief for that matter. Um, 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:54.560 she really hated it if they and detained for the man. Yeah, 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:58.080 I mean, I gotta say. I mean I liked her 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:01.080 curly hair and wearing the leather at it, but it 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.800 did bother me. I was like it did. I liked 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.080 her skirts more than hers brion pants. But I think 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:11.680 my mom's insistence that I not be boy crazy just 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:17.720 made it worse. Oh yeah, it's so weird. You see, 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.560 even with direction, even when you have your mother giving 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:25.560 you that direction, you still and saying this, really, this 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.480 is not a good idea, that what is this compulsion 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.640 that we have. It's almost like it comes in fully 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.840 formed that we have to go and garner that attention 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:38.320 and that somehow qualifies us. You can't just gently explore it. 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:41.800 I remember being so willing to be like, oh, change, yes, 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.280 so you'll fancy me absolutely, What would you like me 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.400 to do? Shave my head? You know what will it be, sir? 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.640 I don't know. It's it's terrible. I mean, I'm very 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.480 happy that we're still here, because I mean, when we 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.520 talk about it, it's like, Jesus Christ, how did you 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:05.400 say childhood? So where and when were you happiest? Mini? 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:09.680 All right, if I were ten years old, I would 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:16.960 tell you that I would be so euphoric galloping on 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:20.840 a horse, like through the fields of Wyoming. Even though 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.159 I'm not a horsewoman. I know how to write a 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:34.040 pony that feeling of like childhood euphoria, where happiness and 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:38.919 sadness are at such extremities in your life. As I 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.480 was thinking about this question, I was thinking, do we 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:45.840 get those highs anymore? I didn't grow up very wealthy 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:50.640 at all, but my parents prioritized traveling specifically to Italy 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.200 as we got older, and we would all pile into 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:58.520 a minivan with suitcases on our laps, six of us usually. 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:03.879 And there's a restaurant on the Amalfi coast called Da 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:08.680 Teresa and it's a little family place and it's right 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:12.919 on the beach and you walk down like four hundred 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.760 stairs to get there in the heat, and they serve 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:21.840 you like peach wine and this shaliaatelli, this hand rolled 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:26.399 pasta with these cherry tomatoes and these little dime sized 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:31.960 sweet clams. And being there with my family and my 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:35.080 fiance we were able to go there a couple of 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:41.560 years ago, is kind of the most perfect afternoon being 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.600 with people that you love in a place that's so 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:50.240 astoundingly beautiful, eating food that's made with love. I'm so 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:55.320 glad that I have those memories, and I'm really grateful 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:57.720 that I was able to experience. I hope that I'll 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:02.040 be able to experience that lunch again at Datosa. That 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:06.199 makes for a pretty perfect moment. I love that, I 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.879 mean I love I love the Amalficas. It was the 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:11.000 cheapest holiday that you could get, was just going to 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.399 Europe from England. When I was a kid. I have 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:17.760 a restaurant like that on the Amalfikas La Scolia, which 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:21.040 is again it's just right on the water, and we 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.720 would usually get a little put put boat and either 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.359 come up to the jetty or you just dive in 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:28.600 and swim up the beach and then go into the restaurant. 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.480 And they grow everything up on the hillside behind the restaurant, 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.320 so the white anchovies that you eat that have just 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.560 come out of the sea, with the warm tomatoes that 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.960 they've just harvested. I had an Italian woman tell me 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:46.800 that the tomatoes taste so good in Italy because it 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:50.880 is the continent where Jesus built his blood. This has 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:53.119 never left me, Mini, and I had to pass it 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:56.199 on to you now, so do with it what you 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:59.560 will do, you know, I think that's a very interesting 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:03.680 reason for the tomatoes tasting good. I like that because, 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:06.520 funny enough, we would go and we would end up 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:09.280 in this little tiny town called Ravello, which is up 0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:13.359 above Positano, and we'd stay in this tiny bed and breakfast. 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.399 And when I was about sixteen, I went out with 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.199 this guy who was so cute, and he told me 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:22.800 he was a barrista, and my mom was asking me, like, 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:25.560 who was the guy? And I was like, he's a barrister, 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:29.760 which in England you know, means a lawyer, like a litigator. 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.360 She was like, no, he's fucking not. He makes coffee, 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:43.360 you idiots. And I was like it doesn't know anyway, 0:20:43.480 --> 0:21:05.439 I didn't mind that he in your life. Can you 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.359 tell me about something that has grown out of a 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:13.240 personal disaster. I have two big incidences. The first one 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:20.640 was I was in a relationship well let me, I'll 0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:26.080 put it okay, during my first divorce to the last 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:29.119 chapter carry on. During my first of us, I found 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:33.560 out something that I had suspected, which was my dear friend, 0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:41.320 My dear, dear, dear friend had slept with my husband. 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:48.520 Oh god, and I had suspected it and then it 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:56.399 was confirmed. And I loved this woman so intensely. I 0:21:56.440 --> 0:22:00.000 wonder if that's why you you know, you're neglectful of relationships, 0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:02.640 Perhaps because it's like, look what happens when you're well. 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:06.800 This is something I'm kind of proud of though, because 0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:12.119 what happened was for four years, I imagined running into 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:15.280 her in Los Angeles, and I imagined what it would 0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:17.920 be like I imagine just getting into her face. I 0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:22.520 imagined just I would fantasize about it, you know. And 0:22:23.440 --> 0:22:27.240 I didn't run into her years past, which was surprising 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.560 because you know, we live alone but not far from 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:33.200 each other. We're both actors. But I would miss her 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:38.679 like I would ask people, like, what do you think? 0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:40.720 What does it mean that I missed her so much? 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:43.600 Like my heart? It kind of aches in a way 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.680 that it didn't at all for my ex That's hilarious, 0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:53.359 that's amazing. And I was on a flight with my son, 0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:56.160 who was ten months old at the time, to London, 0:22:57.080 --> 0:23:00.760 and I had our nanny with us. We decided to 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:07.040 exit the plane after everybody else because this kid, you know, 0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:11.520 all this stuff, and I'm leaving the flight with a 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:16.600 whole of my ship and I hear Anna and I 0:23:16.680 --> 0:23:20.760 turned around and coming up the other aisle was my 0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:29.440 friend and I just dropped my stuff. I burst into tears. 0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:33.960 We like collapsed into each other's arms. The flight attendants 0:23:34.040 --> 0:23:39.720 must have been just totally freaked out. We held each 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:44.000 other as we walked to baggage claim. My nanny was like, 0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:50.240 row boy, what's happening? And now we're dear friends. It 0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:55.359 felt so good. It felt so good. She was. She 0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:58.240 was just like, I'm so sorry, and I said, I 0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:03.959 just missed you so and it felt so good. And 0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:07.560 I'm proud that my first reaction my gut wasn't like 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:11.240 fuck you, you know it was it was so it 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:16.560 felt very honest, and I'm I'm I'm proud of myself 0:24:16.720 --> 0:24:20.199 for prioritizing what I really felt, which was that I 0:24:20.240 --> 0:24:24.240 missed her. It's so commendable. I mean, it's really extraordinary. 0:24:24.480 --> 0:24:27.439 It's really extraordinary to still be friends with the person 0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:31.520 that was instrumental in part of the ending of a marriage. 0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:33.880 Because maybe it's not the whole story, but like it's 0:24:33.880 --> 0:24:37.200 a pretty huge thing. It's a huge betrayal of a friendship. 0:24:37.240 --> 0:24:38.960 But then to be able to go beyond that and 0:24:39.040 --> 0:24:42.840 into the friendship is actually stronger and needs to survive 0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:47.800 more than the betrayal does. That's that's a beautiful evolution. 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.080 If I may. The other moment that I thought about 0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:55.480 what this question was, my son was born early. He 0:24:55.640 --> 0:25:01.840 was born ten weeks early. And I'm really well, I 0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:07.119 don't know if I'm proud, but I was able to 0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:11.919 be very present and focused in the moment my mind 0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:17.119 didn't leap too far into tragedy, into whatever. You know. 0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:23.080 I was able to absorb information that was scary and 0:25:23.680 --> 0:25:29.560 process it and continue to march forward and be there 0:25:30.600 --> 0:25:35.200 at the nick you with my son in that position 0:25:35.200 --> 0:25:38.400 that one just doesn't imagine, you know. So I think 0:25:38.440 --> 0:25:43.560 that knowing that I could do that, I think was affirming. Yeah, 0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:46.840 oh my god, especially at that time, in that moment 0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:51.119 when you're flooded with expectation and then there's a different 0:25:51.119 --> 0:25:53.840 set of circumstances that you're faced with in this you know, 0:25:54.040 --> 0:25:57.520 the anticipated most joyful moment of your life is then 0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:02.520 kind of co opted by serious medical concerns. Yeah. I remember, 0:26:02.680 --> 0:26:05.600 because it was my first pregnancy, my first baby. I 0:26:05.640 --> 0:26:09.359 remember having a couple of moments of envy and a 0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:14.679 couple of moments of why me. But I'm really proud 0:26:14.720 --> 0:26:17.040 that there were only a couple of them, you know. 0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:21.159 I'm really proud that I was able to like no, no, no, 0:26:21.560 --> 0:26:25.800 like this, Well, here's what we do. How old is 0:26:25.840 --> 0:26:31.240 he now? He's eight, he's about to turn nine. I 0:26:31.280 --> 0:26:37.240 can't believe he's great. He's just a confident gem. He's 0:26:37.280 --> 0:26:42.120 so confident it's wild. Yeah, these kids are I mean 0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:44.280 I think they're just kids who are very different to 0:26:44.359 --> 0:26:46.560 when I was young. They feel like they're more confident 0:26:46.600 --> 0:26:48.800 and they're way more knowledgeable about like what's up in 0:26:48.800 --> 0:26:52.840 the world. Oh completely, I am such a luddite, and 0:26:53.359 --> 0:26:57.679 I think I'm both a willing and unwilling luddite. I 0:26:57.720 --> 0:27:02.760 think because I got scary movie right after college, I 0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:07.120 didn't have to learn how to use anything. So yeah, 0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:09.359 so I'm in trouble when it comes to him being 0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:13.639 a teenager with technology. Well, maybe he'll teach you. My 0:27:13.680 --> 0:27:17.960 son is very patient and sweetly patronizing. I can't wait 0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:20.400 to meet your son, Minie. He's like, Okay, now, what's 0:27:20.400 --> 0:27:23.520