1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm come stuff. I 2 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: never told you production of iHeartRadio. And we're back with 3 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: our Sminty Fiction segment, which is a once a month 4 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: thing that we do. Currently it's an ongoing thing. We 5 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: are on the third of a trilogy, the Final Terminus, 6 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: so it is ongoing. I mean, if you want to 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 1: start here, go for it. But this is you might 8 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: be a little confused. This is a sequel. So, as 9 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: I've said before, I wrote all of these for National 10 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: Novel Writing Months, which oh my god, is right now? Wow? Well, anyway, 11 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: this one I was clear. I remember when I wrote 12 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: this one and I was in I wrote it in 13 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: like wild weekend when I was in Savannah. So I 14 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 1: don't edit these that much because I kind of like 15 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: looking at what was going through my head? Why did 16 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: I write this as someone who's never had a child, 17 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,960 Speaker 1: and so much of it is about motherhood, But this 18 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 1: what this chapter? I was like, Oh, you were you 19 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: were running, you were trying to get the work out. 20 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: So I did edit this one a little bit more 21 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: than I typically do. Also, we're going to talk about 22 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: this a bit more at the end. This one has 23 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 1: a lot of I can tell what I was going 24 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: through during this time. It's actually kind of oddly appropriate 25 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: for what I think a lot of us are feeling 26 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: right now after the twenty twenty four election. It's a 27 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: very like you have you have just gotten beaten down? 28 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: How are you going to move on from this? So I, 29 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:01,559 Speaker 1: for simplicity just calling this terminus three. It was called 30 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: Finite Children of Children, And again I remember a lot 31 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: of specifics about writing this. I have a friend who 32 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: loves music, is very moved by music, uh in a 33 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 1: way that I'm kind of as someone who's also moved 34 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: by a lot of things. I'm like, Wow, you were 35 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: feeling this really powerfully. It's often like tears involved. One 36 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: time I was at his place and I was telling 37 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,519 Speaker 1: him about these feelings I was feeling, and he was like, 38 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: I have this song for you, and I'm going to 39 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: play it, and so he gets it out and it 40 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: was this song called Children of Children by Jason Isbel 41 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: and it has this line in it. I was writing 42 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: on my mother's hips. She was shorter than the corn, 43 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 1: all the years I took from her just by being born, 44 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: And that was kind of I think what I was 45 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: grappling with when I wrote this of just feeling guilty 46 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: about a lot of stuff that my mom had been through. 47 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: I felt somehow that it was my fault. So something 48 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 1: to keep in mind. I guess as we read this. 49 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: As we go through this, he did cry at the end. 50 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: It was a nice moment. I like it stood out 51 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: to me anyway. Content warning for non explicit suicidality at painkillers, injuries, 52 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: internalized shame, just a general hopeless vibe starting at the 53 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: top on this one. But yeah, so that's because it 54 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: ended in a pretty hopeless place. So so far we 55 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: have been following these two characters, Tilda and Madison, in 56 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: this world that is dying. Humanity is dying because of 57 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: this disease that you later find out was manufactured by 58 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: a religious group. But because of all of that, and 59 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: because the religious group called arm works with the governments, 60 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: there is a board for better parenting and they decide 61 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: where if a child is born in rare occasion, they 62 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: decide with the child goes. Tilda had her son, Madison, illegally, 63 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: and she they were going to take Madison from her, 64 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: so they've been she escaped with him, and they've been 65 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: on their run for eight years at this point, and 66 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: they find out they find a resistance is trying to 67 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: make a vaccine that turns out the resistances of what 68 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: they quite thought it was. And then they find out 69 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: that the leader of arm the leaders are Madison's grandparents, 70 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: and so there's a big confrontation that they have, and 71 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: then Tilda gets a vaccine and gives it to Madison 72 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: as one of only two, and she escapes after broadcasting 73 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: over their national broadcast system about what happened in the 74 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: truth of where this came from, and they've been on 75 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 1: the run ever since, and there's been a lot of 76 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: questions of do what do we do now that Madison 77 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: has been given the vaccine and kind of Madison wrestling 78 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: with that and feeling guilty, and Tilda feeling guilty because 79 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: she doesn't know what to do, hearing her mom over 80 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: the system telling her like, please come back because things 81 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,280 Speaker 1: are different now, and not trusting that. They had a 82 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: pretty dangerous encounter with a moving group of people, and 83 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: then they found another group of people that seemed like 84 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: they were nice, but Tilda was still unwilling to trust them, 85 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: and then as they parted ways, Tilda and Madison were 86 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: attacked by people in tanks and Madison was taken from her, 87 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: and she was pretty brutally injured and shoved down a 88 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: hill to die. And she doesn't know what she's gonna be. 89 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: Her whole life has been defined by Madison, so she 90 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 1: doesn't know what she's gonna do or be or anything. 91 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: So that was where it ended, and that is where 92 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: we'll pick up right now. The world fell into place 93 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: in pieces. First was the smell mildew and leaves heavy 94 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: Intilda's nose. Then the cold in the air and in 95 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 1: her clothes and in her skin, in her bones, apart 96 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: from her hot and swollen face, throbbing pain and pulsing 97 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: agches permeating every part of her body. Her right knee 98 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: pulsated with agony, her left ankle pounding, her wrist throbbing 99 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: with every heart beat, her ribs tight, fiery, her throat 100 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: burned from screaming, her nose surely broken and impossible to 101 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: breathe through. Memory came last, and when it did, it 102 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: was like a live wire being placed against the base 103 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: of her spine. She jolted up and instantly regretted it, 104 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: crying aloud at the soreness Madison. They'd taken Madison. She 105 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: didn't know who they was, but her mind had a 106 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: ready supply of dreadful possibilities. The force they'd used to 107 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: take him did not lend her to be optimistic. Panic 108 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: ballooned inside her so rapidly she struggled to breathe made 109 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: more difficult by the mess of blood clogging up her nostrils, 110 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: spots erupting in her vision as she fought to hang 111 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: on to her only recently one grasp on consciousness. Clumsy 112 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: legs collapsed when she bolted to her feet, and she 113 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: fell gracelessly into a heap of heaving flesh and bones. 114 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: The sharpness in her chest was to such a degree 115 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: that for a moment she thought she might die, not outright, 116 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: but slowly, as she was nowhere near medical care. A 117 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: broken rib could be inching its way towards her lung, 118 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 1: and there would be nothing she could do about it. 119 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: While the thought frightened her, what truly scared her was 120 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: the relief the idea of death gave her. No more 121 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: struggling every day, no having to figure out how she 122 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,239 Speaker 1: was going to find Madison and save him. One frail 123 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: young woman against what appeared to be a small infantry. 124 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 1: But that was cowardly, and Madison needed her, so she 125 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: sucked in several bracing breaths, and gradually, this time pushed 126 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: herself to her knees, wincing as her pack pulled at 127 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,319 Speaker 1: her shoulders, resting there for a moment and combating the 128 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: blackness at the edge of her vision. When Tilda had 129 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 1: regained her hold on the world again, she slid one 130 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: foot out from under her, wincing as she placed it 131 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: on the forest floor. With herculian effort, she hoisted herself 132 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: up her other foot, clumsily stumbling out to the side 133 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: to catch her weight. For a moment, she swayed, panting 134 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: with her eyes closed. Her arm came up to block 135 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: out the light. When she squinted open her eyes her 136 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: shoulder blades. Screaming in protest, she choked back a sob 137 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: of pain, hopelessly looking at the hillside she'd rolled down, 138 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: leading back up to the road. Desperate, Tilda search for 139 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: another path back to the road, one that didn't involve 140 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: her much abused body climbing up a hill she'd only recently, 141 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: if the light was anything to go by, fallen down 142 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: when she barely had the strength to stand. But of 143 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: course there was none, not one that she could see. 144 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: Swallowing with difficulty, with almost comical carefulness, she pivoted on 145 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: her heels to examine the woods behind her, looking for 146 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,599 Speaker 1: any other alternate path, But all she found was a 147 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: tangle of trees and h Reluctantly, she turned back to 148 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: face the hill in the darkest parts of her mind, 149 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,719 Speaker 1: wondering if it was possibly worth it, What were the 150 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: odds she'd ever be reunited with Madison again. Here was 151 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: a guiltless out, as ugly as it was. Madison would 152 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: never know, and nor would anyone else. But then she'd 153 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: have to face herself, something she hadn't had time to 154 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: do since giving birth to Madison almost eight years ago. 155 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: Not only that, she'd had to find a way to 156 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: live with her decision, and she doubted she had the 157 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: strength to do it, which meant she had to find 158 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: the strength to climb up this hill. Concentrating on putting 159 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 1: one shaky foot in front of the other, she approached 160 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: the incline, her breast loud and harsh in the silence. 161 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: Her shoes, long without tread, slipped instantly at contact with 162 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 1: the incline, and she fell to her hands and knees 163 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: with a pain to shout. Long seconds passed where she 164 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 1: could only think of dragging one agonized breath in after another, 165 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: her tenuous hold on reality tunneling in and out. Madison 166 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: the only thought anchoring her, the purpose to pull herself 167 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: out of the gray world of non being in the 168 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 1: back of her mind that she so wanted to retreat 169 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: to the thought of standing again was laughable and simply 170 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: out of the question. So instead she did what was 171 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: left to her and crawled forward on her hands and knees. 172 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: The hill became an insurmountable mountain in her eyes. For 173 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:41,199 Speaker 1: every painfully earned foot she slipped backwards, almost equally as 174 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: much and as painfully as much. Tears pricked her eyes, 175 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: but she refused them. Frustrated with her lack of progress 176 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: and unwilling to give up so quickly. Tilda's fingers dug 177 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 1: into cold dirt, tore into dead leaves, the toes of 178 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: her shoes buried into the dirt. Each push forward up 179 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: the hill care carefully calculated, and braced forlor into sheer 180 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: force of will. Ever so slowly she made her way 181 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,680 Speaker 1: up the slope, the pain numbing her body, her breast 182 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: coming in a high pitched breathy gasp. A little after 183 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,199 Speaker 1: halfway up, her arm muscles gave out, and she slid 184 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: down several feet, losing a lot of ground. Tilda pressed 185 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: herself against the earth, afraid of slipping again, on the 186 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: verge of hyperventilating. For a long time, she listened to 187 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 1: the sounds of the woods around her, the chirping of birds, 188 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:36,199 Speaker 1: rustling of leaves, her own raspy breathing, Willing some strength 189 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:40,319 Speaker 1: to return to her arms. Her eyes closed as she 190 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: summoned the trigs of her energy and pushed herself forward, 191 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: locking her gaze on the road at the top of 192 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: the hill, on her goal, and she strove for it, 193 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: not thinking of anything else. With the placement of her 194 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: feet the grip of her hands, Tilda almost sobbed with 195 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: relief when she pulled herself up over the sprawling out 196 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: onto the road. Out of the corner of her eye, 197 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: she saw the unmoving, crimson splotched body of Scout, and 198 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: she shuddered. Though she refused to look, she could not 199 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: ignore it, a carcass fighting for her full attention. For 200 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: a long time, she lay there, her whole body trembling 201 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: with effort and heaving with whistling breaths. Her mind went blank, 202 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: her only focus on sucking in each agonizing breath after another. 203 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 1: Her hand reached out blindly along the cool asphalt, searching 204 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: automatically for Madison, before remembering with a terrible rush that 205 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: he had been taken from her. Adrenaline shot through her 206 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: and jilted her upward, but the pain almost instantly caused 207 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: her to curl in on herself, wrapping her arm around 208 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: her middle, as if abruptly finally realizing something that had 209 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: been there obvious all along. Everything was hopeless. Madison was gone, 210 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: and she had no way to find him apart from 211 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,959 Speaker 1: a general direction. She'd been stupid to ever think she 212 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: could protect him. It had only been a matter of 213 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: time before he was taken. For who knows what purpose 214 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,439 Speaker 1: would his captors put together that Madison was the child 215 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 1: whose return came along with a hefty reward that the 216 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: resistance was actively seeking and broadcasting about, and if they didn't, 217 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: perhaps the last chance humanity had of recovering from the 218 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: edge of extinction at creating a viable vaccine could be 219 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: badly used or possibly even killed. It crashed over her, 220 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: almost overwhelmed her tild it brought her hand up to 221 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: her mouth and bit into it to hold back the 222 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: tide of grief, the never ending, bone deep cries that 223 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: threatened to rip up her throat and never stop until 224 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: she was nothing more than a corpse, the victim of 225 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: lack of will to go on. But because there was 226 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: nothing else to do other than wasted away on the 227 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:06,240 Speaker 1: side of the road, Tilda stood shakily, wobbly, fighting for 228 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: her balance and for her thin grasped on consciousness. After 229 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: a time, many factors more than what it usually took, 230 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: Tilda was upright, body warped like a tree alone in 231 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 1: the desert for one hundred years. With terrible caution, she straightened, 232 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: one arm still braced around her midsection down the road. 233 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: Hazel eyes searched, her stringy hair whipping in front of 234 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: her face. The asshalt stretching in front of her gave 235 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: no clues as to Madison's location or what lay ahead 236 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: on it desolate. What would she do when she got there, 237 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: if she ever did, She did not want to think 238 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: about it, because if she did, she feared she would 239 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: not continue the truth. If she dared face it was, 240 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: she had no real chance of rescuing her child, unless 241 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: she somehow found a stash of weapons or some other 242 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: kind of equipment between now and wherever he was. If 243 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: she ever found it, Tilda did not linger on the thought, 244 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 1: knowing she did not have it in her to withstand 245 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: an onslaught of unrelenting realism, no matter how much wiser 246 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: it would be to deal with it now instead of 247 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: before she started what was sure to be a perilous journey. 248 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: Maybe I'll die before then. The thought surfaced again hazily 249 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: as she took her first painful, lurching step, followed by 250 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: another and another. As she stumbled forward, breathing harshly through 251 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: clinched teeth, appearing like a zombie, one of those walking 252 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: dead she'd seen on the covers of books and magazines 253 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: over the years. A raspy laugh bubble passed her lips, 254 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: rapidly turning into a cough. Tilda felt hyper aware of 255 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: how loud she was being, her scraping steps, harsh, panting breasts, 256 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 1: walking exposed down the middle of a slab road she 257 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: knew was used by violent people. Her wandering mind replayed 258 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: the events leading up to Madison's capture, first with fuzzy detail, 259 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: and then with brutal clarity. She couldn't help but wonder 260 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: with morbid curiosity why they hadn't killed her or made 261 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: an effort to capture her as well. Maybe they'd assumed 262 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: the fall had killed her. Maybe they considered her not 263 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: worth the effort. Maybe they were conserving bullets. The landscape 264 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: of her thoughts was wild and out of control, random 265 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: memories surging to the forefront and quickly fading away again 266 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,239 Speaker 1: and being replaced by something else. Little was on her 267 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: mind other than the singular focus of pushing onward out 268 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: of habit. Her eyes swept from left to right, hoping 269 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,399 Speaker 1: she'd be able to recognize something she could use. But 270 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: on the one side was, of course, the hill she'd 271 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,159 Speaker 1: only so recently tumbled down and climbed back up, the 272 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: hill that almost killed her. She hurled at it wordlessly 273 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: and bitterly. The other side of the road was sparsely 274 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: populated with drab buildings and overgrown grass. Nothing that looked 275 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 1: from for a hidden weapons or food cash. She swallowed dryly, 276 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: the need for water barreling to the forefront of her 277 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 1: body's many complaints. Though her neck protested painfully, she swiveled 278 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: it to judge how far she'd come, and very nearly 279 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: groaned aloud at the embarrassing lack of ground she'd covered. 280 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: In the distance, she could still clearly make out the 281 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: dark shape of Scout's body, which she wrenched her gaze 282 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 1: away from again in revulsion. Slowly and awkwardly, she maneuvered 283 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: her pack from her shoulders and undipped it, retrieving a 284 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: cold bottle of water, and, after a frustrating expenditure of 285 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 1: energy opening it, did her best not to guzzle it 286 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,719 Speaker 1: all down. The liquid burned down her throat and settled 287 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: uneasily in her stomach, but it did help her sluggishly 288 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:50,159 Speaker 1: assuming thoughts chaotic and sickening in their own right. Feeling 289 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 1: as though she'd run a long race and would like 290 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: nothing more than to collapse, she slid the pack gingerly 291 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 1: back into place on her shoulders and stiffly started forward 292 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: once more. The people she was tracking how to tank, 293 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: she thought, with sudden fury. How the hell was she 294 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: going to catch up with that? She wished with fierce 295 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: concentration for something to help her. A random memory of 296 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 1: Tilda's mother answering with simple assuredness Tilda's question of how 297 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: stories seemed to work out despite all odds, almost magically 298 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: so that they had to. The author wanted them to, 299 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: the readers wanted them to the God machine, a phrase 300 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: that stuck with Tilda as something menacing, perpetually watching lying 301 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: in wig toster things up if they got boring or 302 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: people got complacent, for its own entertainment, but at the 303 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: same time as its purpose. That's what made them stories, 304 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 1: Leonarova told her daughter. But this wasn't a story, Tilda 305 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 1: reminded herself despairingly as her dragging foot tripped over a 306 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,399 Speaker 1: ret in the road and sent a flare of panes 307 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 1: spiking up her ankle. If the God Machine existed, she 308 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: figured it was broken down now and no longer properly working, 309 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: instead only churning out more and more misery and nothing 310 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 1: to fix it. Pointless, pointless, waste all of it. In 311 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 1: a daze, she contemplated turning around and searching out the 312 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: group she split ways with on their way to DC, 313 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: asking for help from them or the Resistance. But still, 314 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: her exhausted legs carried her towards Madison, thinking of him, 315 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: scared and alone, cringing as he was yelled at, wringing 316 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: his hands as the sun sank lower in the sky. 317 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: She approached the outskirts of a town at the seat 318 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: of a range of blue mountains called Shawsville, she'd have 319 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: to stop. Even though now she'd hit a stride, if 320 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 1: it could be called that of shuffling robotic steps, she 321 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 1: felt she could keep going forever that stopping and hoping 322 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: she could find the whole to start again was more misguided. Nonetheless, 323 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: a wound in her side had started to bleed warm 324 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 1: blood trickling over the fingers she was using an attempt 325 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: to stem the flow, and if she even gave a 326 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: passing thought to the pain in her ankle, she nearly 327 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: passed out. Tilda had become accustomed to the flavor of 328 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: agony associated with keeping it in constant motion, keeping it 329 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: still it conshindoed into something much less manageable, But she 330 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: knew she must be doing more damage to it, and 331 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: thus hurting herself more in the long run, as well 332 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,880 Speaker 1: as undercutting her ability ultimately to be of any use 333 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: when it came to rescuing Madison. So as on savory 334 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: as it was, she needed to find some shelter for 335 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: the night to deal with her wounds, all while the 336 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: people who had taken Madison got further and further away. 337 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: Shawsville was a small town, as with much of this 338 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: straight and flat highway they'd been traveling on. Tilda could 339 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 1: see much of what lay ahead, and thought she could 340 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 1: see all the way to the other side of the 341 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: town as she passed the sign population one thousand, three 342 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: hundred and one. Most of the town seemed to be 343 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,440 Speaker 1: concentrated into square to the right of the highway, so 344 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,680 Speaker 1: Tilda turned that way her hazy vision, skimming signs for 345 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: the Red Cross that indicated medical supplies. She came to 346 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: a four way stop. A precursory look at all the 347 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: options had her turning left further into town, with its 348 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 1: buildings with shingle roofs all faded, whites and browns and blacks, 349 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: Strings of lights criss crossing across the street, big red bows, 350 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 1: now brittle with weather and age, tied around iron lamp post. 351 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: A banner slumped with missing letters hung across the middle 352 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: of the square reading Welcome to Shawsville. It was all 353 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,239 Speaker 1: very quaint and sad, and the emptiness left behind by 354 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: a town that Tilda was sure had either died off 355 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 1: or migrated to somewhere else. With more supplies. She hoped 356 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,879 Speaker 1: that that didn't mean there were no supplies left. Her 357 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: stomach somersaulted with the anticipation of relief when her eyes 358 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: landed on a small pharmacy, over praying that it was 359 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: by some miracle unlocked or the windows already broken out. 360 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: As she got closer, she saw the glass door was open, 361 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,199 Speaker 1: which was both a good and bad thing. It certainly 362 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: did not bode well that the supplies hadn't been raided. 363 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 1: The worn down soles or her shoes slipped on the 364 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: crushed glass like sand in the doorway as she stepped 365 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: carefully into the darkness of the pharmacy, ears perked for 366 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: any sounds of life. As her eyes adjusted, she hovered 367 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 1: in the doorway, the pain in her body climbing as 368 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:36,119 Speaker 1: she stood statuesque and waited for her vision to clear. Eventually, 369 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: the darkness distilled into shelves, many lopsided, hanging only by 370 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: a few screws on one side. Some collapsed entirely, but 371 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 1: though they had obviously been picked through, they weren't cleared, 372 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: and the pharmacy was larger on the inside than she'd 373 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 1: first expected. Being careful not to slip over her glass 374 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 1: or old coupon papers that had practically melded into the 375 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: floor with time. Because another would probably do her in. 376 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 1: At this point, she walked down the first aisle, snatching 377 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: up a bottle of pain killers she spotted way in 378 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,400 Speaker 1: the back of the shelf, some caffeine strips, the few 379 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: remaining granola bars, and crushed packs of candy. Her arms 380 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: whole supply, she was forced to slide off her pack 381 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: and dump them in the front pocket, abandoning all pretenses 382 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: of organization in her current state. The next aisle produced 383 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 1: much less, mostly cheap electronics that no longer had any purpose, 384 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: and souvenirs she had difficulty fathoming were popular even before 385 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 1: HSV five had decimated the population, a small selection of 386 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: toys that made her stomach clench and worry. Over one 387 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: aisle was a mix of cold and sinus medicine, which 388 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: was almost completely cleared out, and a plethora of stomach 389 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: ailment remedies. Tilda swept whatever was left indiscriminately into her pack. 390 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: After that was a row of feminine hygiene products and condoms, 391 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: which seemed laughable to her now she had not a 392 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 1: period in years, and as for condoms, it was almost sad. 393 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 1: How wonderful a concept to ever live in a society 394 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 1: that would need those seemed to her. The only reason 395 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: she knew what they were was out of a curiosity 396 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: of reading the back of the package many years ago, 397 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: when she had first started out her life on the 398 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 1: road and on the run with Madison. At first, she 399 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: thought she'd misread the instructions the designated use, or that 400 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: there must be a mistake at misprint, But several inspected 401 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,000 Speaker 1: boxes and packets later she confirmed that there was no error. 402 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 1: What a relic these were now a true representation of 403 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: how life was different after HSV five, the line before 404 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: and after which separated two distinct sets of worries, til 405 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: to skip this row and too much pain to spend 406 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: time down an aisle dedicated to useless but fascinating throwbacks 407 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: to an extinct way of life. At the pharmacist counter, 408 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: she found a few things that might be of use. 409 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: While almost all the prescription medications were gone, she did 410 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: find muscle relaxans. Down the second to last aisle, she 411 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,640 Speaker 1: located a handful of bandages and brace wraps, some antiseptic 412 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:13,119 Speaker 1: and rubbing alcohol, some creams that promised muscle relief, as 413 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: she suspected, the long defunct cooler along the back had 414 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 1: been emptied out save for some spoiled milk based products 415 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 1: and energy shots. The last row she quickly deemed is useless, 416 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 1: one side dedicated to makeup and hair, the other degreeting cards, 417 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: another reminder of a time long gone. Every part of 418 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,920 Speaker 1: her now clamoring loudly for her attention. She located the 419 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: bathroom in the back corner, which thankfully had a small 420 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: window to allow in the rapidly waning light. Tilda folded 421 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: down the baby changing station. What an unimaginable concept that was, too, 422 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: and spilled out her spoils, grimacing at the pain in 423 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: her side. There was a stool in the back corner. 424 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: She wasn't sure what it had been used for, but 425 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 1: she was glad it was there. Tilda dragged across the 426 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: floor and situated it in front of her mind makeshift 427 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: work area. She did a double taking gasp, catching sight 428 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,680 Speaker 1: of someone in the room with her, but it was 429 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: only her reflection in the grimy, rusted mirror. Slowly the 430 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 1: tension left her muscles, and she exhaled deeply several times, 431 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:19,880 Speaker 1: staring at her ghastly appearance. Her face was one massive, 432 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 1: bloody bruise, her nose and the left side of it 433 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 1: swollen to about twice their usual size. Blood turned black 434 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,080 Speaker 1: with age and exposure to air, covered much of her skin. 435 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: One of her eyes was ringed with dark purple, the 436 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: white of it stained with red. Her jacket was stiff 437 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: with dried blood, as well a splotch of dark on 438 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: her right side. Streaks of it painted her hair and 439 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: her fingers. Tilda's throat tightened as she looked away, inexplicably. Ashamed, 440 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,479 Speaker 1: she rummaged through her pack and dug out some antiseptic wipes, 441 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,239 Speaker 1: perching uncomfortably on the stool to give her feet an 442 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: ankle some relief, which unfortunately translated to a nodiating swell 443 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 1: of pain. Swallowing back bile, she extricated herself from her jacket, 444 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: shivering at the cool air, and began the laborious process 445 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: of wiping the blood off her arms her face, going 446 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,639 Speaker 1: through several wipes before she even got to her midsection. 447 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 1: She tried to figure out a way to proceed with 448 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: her shirt on, but could not, so she wriggled out 449 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 1: of it, gasping with the lancing pain in her shoulders. 450 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: And ribs as she did so. The fabric was disgustingly 451 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: crusty and hard as she laid it out on the 452 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: changing table on top of her jacket. Next, she slid 453 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: off her boots and her blood filled socks, almost swalling 454 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: out of her chair at the sudden agony this caused 455 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: from her right ankle. No longer being braced, it was 456 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: comically terribly swollen. Groaning, she stood, keeping her weight off 457 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: her right ankle as much as possible by balancing with 458 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 1: only its toes as she shed her torn and dirty jeans, 459 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: knowing she'd have to inspect her throbbing knee and place 460 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,920 Speaker 1: them on top of the jacket and shirt. Taking several 461 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: steadying breaths, Tilder wiped the blood from her feet and 462 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: her middle, more than a little disheartened when she could 463 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: scrub at a particular stubborn patch, only to discover it 464 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: was just a bruise. It suddenly occurred to her that 465 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 1: now would be a good time for some painkillers before 466 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: she started going about man handling and trying to set 467 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 1: sprains and potentially broken bones. A shaky hand deposited three 468 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: pills into the palm of her other one, and she 469 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: popped them into her mouth, swaking them down with a 470 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: large gulp of water. Doing her best not to dwell 471 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: too much on what she was about to do, she 472 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 1: probed her ankle with gentle fingers, experimentally rotating it with 473 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 1: not much success, but several curse words. Biting her lip, 474 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: she flexed it, Determining it was sprained and not broken. 475 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: She grabbed from her pile of supplies a brace wrap, 476 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: struggling for several minutes with the packaging. Once she finally 477 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: opened it, she set about wrapping her ankle, wondering how 478 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 1: she possibly could fit this back in her shoe. It 479 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: took a few times of rewrapping for her to achieve 480 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 1: the proper level of tightness so that it stuck but 481 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 1: was not cutting off her circulation. From there, Tilda worked upward, 482 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: examining bruised calves and a green and purple swollen mass 483 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 1: that surrounded her knee. Unsure of the best way to 484 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 1: handle a bust of knee, she cleaned the ugly sice 485 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: along the outside of it with antiseptic and yet another 486 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: string of curse words and breath hissed through her teeth, 487 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 1: then tested the muscle cream on it, which at first 488 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: was uncomfortably cold, but then suddenly warmed and became soothing. 489 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: This she rapped loosely with bandages. Next, she tackled the 490 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: explosion of purple and blue and red that was her 491 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: left side. Touching it gingerly had her whipping back her 492 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 1: hand in pain and bending over, robbed of all conscious 493 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: thought as the pain demanded all of her attention. Not good. Tentatively, 494 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,880 Speaker 1: she straightened again, wheezing tears, squeezing out the corners to 495 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: her eyes. The light was fading. She had to deal 496 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: with this now. With her fingers. She examined her ribs 497 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: for any brakes, but did not discover any. That didn't 498 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 1: mean she was free of fractures, but there was no 499 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 1: way of testing that that she knew of, not without 500 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: some equipment. That she was missing. A deep cut just 501 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 1: above her hip bone was the source of the blood. 502 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 1: Carefully she cleaned it, crying out as the antiseptic burned 503 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: like acid. Her tight throat made the already annoyingly difficult 504 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: task of breathing even harder. Tilda patted the wound, which 505 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 1: had begun bleeding again a small eruption of bread, but 506 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: it quickly stopped, and she had fixed a bandage over it. 507 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: Sitting as straight as she could, she awkwardly set about 508 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: unspooling a length of bandage around her mid section, the 509 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 1: whole thing in exercise and discipline. The diminishing of the 510 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: light infused everything with urgency, which made her slow progress 511 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: all the more tortuous, her fingers clumsier, sloppier. She ran 512 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: out of the white gauze before she would have liked. 513 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 1: A second layer of wrap would have been preferable, but 514 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 1: she she didn't have much left, and she still had 515 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 1: a wrist to rap, so one layer would have to do. 516 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 1: Tilda gave an experimental twist of her wrist, wincing, touching 517 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: it with gentle fingers, and concluded that it too was 518 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: more likely sprained than broken. Overall, she'd been lucky, she 519 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 1: thought grimly, a stark recollection of her reflection swimming to 520 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 1: the surface of her thoughts. The wrist was more quickly 521 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 1: wrapped and with just enough bandage for a secure fit. 522 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: Tilda wrinkled her nose at the dirt and blood jammed 523 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: underneath her nails, reluctantly turning her attention to the mirror 524 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 1: and the dregs of the remaining light. She inspected, her face, 525 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: now free from all of the blood, but not much 526 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: improved in appearance. Her nose was visibly broken. With cautious fingers, 527 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: she tested the swollen fixture, wondering if she could set 528 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: it herself, pop it back into place, or if the 529 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: pain was even worth it. With all the swelling, it 530 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: was just impossible to tell how much her appearance was 531 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 1: truly impacted. But if it was just a superficial thing, 532 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,960 Speaker 1: bit she care, what did she care for? One more 533 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: corcos added to a face that already did not meet 534 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 1: the standards of conventional beauty. Still, she pressed against it, 535 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 1: trying to write it, gasping in pain as she did so. 536 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: Blood gushed out suddenly, and she halted, reaching for the 537 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 1: paper towel dispenser above the changing station and pressing the 538 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: material to her nostrils, pinching the bridge of her nose. 539 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: Just another memento given to me by another, she thought, 540 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 1: no big deal, But she could fill her eyes glossing 541 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 1: over at the injustice of it, even as she told 542 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: herself it would do no good to think about it. 543 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 1: By the time the bleeding stopped, the bathroom with sheathed 544 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,959 Speaker 1: and darkness for a very tragic moment. She debated if 545 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 1: she should trash her clothes or put them back on, 546 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,960 Speaker 1: but in the end she found herself sliding back into them, 547 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: wincing at both the hardened fabric and the tunging it 548 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: caused when it came into contact with her bandaged wounds. 549 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: The socks she changed, tossing the old ones, soaked through 550 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 1: and stiff with blood, into the trash. They did not 551 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,719 Speaker 1: change shape as they sailed to the air and hit 552 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 1: the side of the bin. Tilda fished into the bottom 553 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: of her pack and produced another pair of socks, unrolling 554 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 1: them and inching them on her feet. Her right shoe 555 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,880 Speaker 1: would have to stay off for now, she decided. She 556 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: also pulled out her flashlight and replaced the item she'd 557 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: collected into her bag in a less haphazard manner, pausing 558 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,840 Speaker 1: at the bottle of muscle relaxant, but deciding it'd be 559 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,000 Speaker 1: better to save that for whenever she found a place 560 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 1: to sleep for the night somewhere nearby. She didn't have 561 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 1: time or the energy to search too far. As she 562 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 1: exited the bathroom, afraid the beam of her flashlight would 563 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 1: catch the gleam of someone's eyes, she turned down the 564 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,440 Speaker 1: aisle she so quickly rejected earlier of hair and makeup, 565 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: inventorying the products for anything that might help her get 566 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,919 Speaker 1: blood out of her hair, picking up something called dry 567 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: shampoo near the end of the row, promising no water needed. 568 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,319 Speaker 1: She also grabbed a brush, sliding both into a side 569 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,800 Speaker 1: pocket of her pack, and stepped back out into the 570 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,839 Speaker 1: to the square, made eerie by the new darkness. Illuminated 571 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: by a cone of white light emanating from her flashlight 572 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,399 Speaker 1: sticking to the sidewalk, she read the signs as best 573 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 1: she could as she headed deeper into the town center, 574 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: hoping to find a hotel or bed and breakfast. She 575 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,800 Speaker 1: did her best to keep her right socked foot and 576 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 1: minimum contact with the cold asphalt. Tilda took her right, 577 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,680 Speaker 1: limping her way down the main thoroughfare, her breath fogging 578 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,320 Speaker 1: in front of her. The feeling that something was missing, 579 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,400 Speaker 1: like a phantom limb, was unshakable. Without Madison by her side, 580 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,680 Speaker 1: she turned down a residential street dotted with small houses 581 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 1: painted with what must have once been flamboyant colors, now overgrown, 582 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 1: long sporting dilapidated signs and decorations. Ornate mail boxes posted 583 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,719 Speaker 1: at the end of every driveway. Tilda picked one a 584 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 1: little further in on her right, making her way up 585 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 1: a stone path and to the door, ridiculously raising her 586 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: fist and knock on it before sheepishly lowering her hand 587 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 1: and testing the knob, powerful relief surging through her like 588 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 1: a drug. When it swung open with a loud, whining sound. 589 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: She stepped into the foyer, listening, shutting the door behind her, 590 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,880 Speaker 1: shining her light around her surroundings. It was just as 591 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,800 Speaker 1: small as it appeared from the outside, one story, three rooms, 592 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 1: not much warmer than it was outside, till the thought 593 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: as another cloud of breath escaped past her lips. The 594 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: previous owners had taken down their photos, presumably to take 595 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,400 Speaker 1: them to wherever they evacuated to, but other than that, 596 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:38,800 Speaker 1: the place looked largely intact. Further into the house, Tilda 597 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,200 Speaker 1: ventured slowly, sweeping her light around for any threats or conversely, 598 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: anything she could use, before she would allow herself to 599 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: lie down on the blue poofy couch she spied in 600 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: the living room. She had to ensure the house was 601 00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: danger free, and also she wanted to check for any 602 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 1: supplies in case she had to leave in a hurry. 603 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: Opening doors along the main hallway. She first found the backroom, 604 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,320 Speaker 1: searching the cabinets under the sink and the medicine cabinet, 605 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 1: but finding nothing of use. The next room was the 606 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 1: master bedroom, The closet cleaned out, apart from some articles 607 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:13,840 Speaker 1: of clothing deemed unworthy of saving some ugly sweaters that 608 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:18,320 Speaker 1: Tilda debated but quickly decided against, dresses what looked to 609 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 1: be business clothes. The room across the hall was a 610 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,719 Speaker 1: child's room, outfitted with twin beds and blue and green 611 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:29,719 Speaker 1: colored scheme. Tilda's heart clenched again, and she left and 612 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,000 Speaker 1: shut the door behind her, not having the stomach to 613 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: search it. In the kitchen, she also found nothing of use, 614 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: so she stumbled back to the couch and collapsed onto it, 615 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 1: exhaustion permeating her aching bones. She saw the flashlight on 616 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,480 Speaker 1: the table and dug out the muscle relaxanse, retrieving too, 617 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: and swallowed them whole, with a couple of gulps of water, 618 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 1: replacing everything. Once she was done, her stomach was too 619 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: unsettled to even entertain the idea of food, so she 620 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 1: switched off her light and curled up on her side 621 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 1: to ease the pain of her ribs and ankle, pulled 622 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,440 Speaker 1: the company draped along the cotch's back down and snuggled 623 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,399 Speaker 1: beneath it. Sleepiness and the need for her body to heal. 624 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,920 Speaker 1: Overcoming the pulsing aches that threatened to keep her anchored 625 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 1: to consciousness. Tilda was asleep almost immediately, too tired to 626 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 1: be afraid. So that brings us the end of this chapter. 627 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:45,920 Speaker 1: This was very much an introspective chapter of like, what's 628 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,160 Speaker 1: going to happen, what's going to happen next, and her 629 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: trying to grapple with what's going to happen next, especially 630 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,160 Speaker 1: when what do you do? You don't know where they went, 631 00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: so her trying to deal with all of that and 632 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: being very very like at the lowest point of the 633 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:08,360 Speaker 1: low And when I was reading back over this, it 634 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,160 Speaker 1: did kind of I mean, this is a really grim chapter. 635 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,880 Speaker 1: It did kind of make me laugh though, because and 636 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: I apologize to Christina because I kept being like, oh, yeah, 637 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: I remember that, but like it was it's a very like, oh, 638 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: it's that time I broke my ankle, and then had 639 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,759 Speaker 1: to I was in the woods and I had to 640 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,800 Speaker 1: keep going, oh it's that time I broke my nose. 641 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,279 Speaker 1: Oh it's that time I fell down a hill and 642 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 1: couldn't get back up, like it's a very I remember 643 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 1: all of those instances. And then the town she like 644 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,360 Speaker 1: goes into that is that's my small town, Like the 645 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,720 Speaker 1: Christmas decorationss on the square. I mean, it's not unique 646 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 1: to my small town, but that is very much what 647 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 1: I was going for in my head. So it's strange. 648 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,919 Speaker 1: That's one of the things that I've found interesting about 649 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,160 Speaker 1: revisiting these is how clearly I remember, like where I 650 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: was mentally when I wrote it, but also these very 651 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:10,680 Speaker 1: specific in this case, times of feeling like hopelessness or 652 00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,919 Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to do I don't 653 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 1: know what I'm going to do next. That it's very powerful, 654 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 1: powerful feeling. But this, this one, this this part of 655 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 1: the trilogy is the shortest part. So without giving too 656 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 1: much away, things will Things are gonna happen pretty quick. 657 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,680 Speaker 1: So if you're like, oh God, I hope you don't 658 00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,040 Speaker 1: stay in this moment forever, it doesn't. It doesn't stay 659 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 1: like this. So I hope you enjoyed it. I hope 660 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 1: you come back and check it out. I'm excited to 661 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 1: get to the to the end and hear hear what 662 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,160 Speaker 1: you all think. Here are any theories if you have them, 663 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,960 Speaker 1: but yeah, in the meantime, huge shout out to Christina 664 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,279 Speaker 1: as always who does these. These are extra work. She 665 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 1: makes them sound of me. And yeah, if you would 666 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,520 Speaker 1: like to contact us, you can. You can email us 667 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 1: at stuff Media, mom Stuff at heeartmedia dot com. You 668 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,239 Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or 669 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok a stuff One Never told You. 670 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 1: We also on YouTube. We have tea public store, and 671 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,799 Speaker 1: we have a book you can get wherever you get 672 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 1: your books. And yeah, thanks as always too our super 673 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contribuer Joey. 674 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,799 Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've 675 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: Never Told You prodiction of Iyhart Radio. For more podcasts 676 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: from my Heart Radio, you can check out the heart 677 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:26,839 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 678 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 1: favorite shows.