Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back, We're black, We're growing insane.
Speaker 2: Hey, Mantra, how are you?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Thank you for asking? Not great, not great, great, but
Speaker 3: not great. I just I think everyone has their I'm
Speaker 3: just feeling loopy, but in a good way. I think
Speaker 3: my two months it's been over two months in quarantine
Speaker 3: for us, and I feel like I'm at the point
Speaker 3: now where the adrenaline has stuffed, Like the adrenaline that
Speaker 3: was getting me through those you know, especially because I
Speaker 3: manage your team and you won't be strong for your team,
Speaker 3: and just like the adrenaline of checking in with them
Speaker 3: in order equipment that they might need and making for
Speaker 3: the team is still putting out your work.
Speaker 4: And all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: We're good now, and I just sort of like had
Speaker 3: the realization this week that this is going to be
Speaker 3: this isn't going to be it for a while, Like
Speaker 3: I need to pace myself. I feel like I gave
Speaker 3: the last two months so much of my energy and
Speaker 3: I was just so defleted, and I took yesterday off.
Speaker 3: I took it off. I was I just can't. And
Speaker 3: I wonder who else is out there feeling that way.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I went way too hard, was
Speaker 3: way too od my game the first two months, and
Speaker 3: now I'm just it's catching up to me and I
Speaker 3: just feel just like loopy and ineffective at all the
Speaker 3: things I'm trying to do, whether it's work, parenting. I
Speaker 3: just you know, it's like I don't feel like I'm
Speaker 3: being very good at anything. But my therapist that that's okay.
Speaker 3: She was like, gave us a white girl, and I said, okay,
Speaker 3: but it's hard. So that's that's what's happening in my world.
Speaker 5: How are you?
Speaker 1: I am good? Did I tell you that I got
Speaker 1: my house appraised? And I was like, I feel like
Speaker 1: our blackness played a role.
Speaker 4: Wait, why would they know your race?
Speaker 1: Well, because we had to open the damn door for them,
Speaker 1: because you know, so here was I'd read this article
Speaker 1: that you know that there is a racial bias cost
Speaker 1: when it comes to homes and black folks own homes.
Speaker 1: That's that when appraisers come, there's this unconscious and sometimes
Speaker 1: maybe conscious bias that black homes are just not worth
Speaker 1: as much.
Speaker 2: They've done all these research and study.
Speaker 1: You guys can do your googles and read the New
Speaker 1: York Times and what they found or homes that were.
Speaker 2: In similar neighborhoods.
Speaker 1: All things being equal, there's a lot of money lost
Speaker 1: when that happens.
Speaker 2: Like I think it was like in two thousand.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at CNN, Like in twenty eighteen, they said
Speaker 1: homeowners lost one hundred and fifty six billion dollars by
Speaker 1: living in black neighborhoods. Right, So anyway, I just felt
Speaker 1: like I had my home like semi appraised by like
Speaker 1: a like a realtor that was real looking to sell,
Speaker 1: and the amount that she said that, like, if I
Speaker 1: was going to listen, I'd listed for this because there
Speaker 1: were just two homes in your area that just sold
Speaker 1: for literally this week, that just sold for like six
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars. And although your house is not as big,
Speaker 1: it has these other things that it didn't have, you know,
Speaker 1: basically doing all the things.
Speaker 3: Are you thinking of selling it? Is that why?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: I wanted to get appraisal because I wanted you know,
Speaker 1: our home is paid off, but I really wanted to
Speaker 1: I felt like having all of this equity sitting in
Speaker 1: the house, I would rather put the money to work,
Speaker 1: And so I wanted to pull out maybe like two hundred,
Speaker 1: two hundred fifty thousand dollars and either purchased another rental property,
Speaker 1: invest do something I wanted. That's why I I wanted
Speaker 1: to my husband and I talked about it. We talked
Speaker 1: about with our CFP, and she was actually shocked because
Speaker 1: she knows how anti debt I am. But because I
Speaker 1: have enough money saved that if I wanted to just
Speaker 1: pay off the house again tomorrow, if I felt freaked out,
Speaker 1: I could, so she was like, Okay, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: typically I think it's a wise move, but I just
Speaker 1: know you and debt.
Speaker 2: You're sure you're gonna be a good girl, but I am.
Speaker 1: Our mortgage is actually not going to be that much,
Speaker 1: about twelve hundred dollars. So because we're moving into these
Speaker 1: you know these times, I said, huh, you know, there
Speaker 1: might be a home that would be you know, we
Speaker 1: might be able to buy investment property that would be
Speaker 1: on sale. We might be able to up our I
Speaker 1: have a goal of being fully financially free it within
Speaker 1: the next ten years, and I know how much I
Speaker 1: need to put aside for that, so it would contribute
Speaker 1: to that as well. And you know, we have the
Speaker 1: investment property, the ten thousand dollars property that we're we're renovating.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So anyway, the guys were really nice and
Speaker 1: if you know our house, it's tricked out.
Speaker 2: Okay, we did all the things.
Speaker 1: Like we live in an older neighborhood and I'm talking
Speaker 1: about old people. I'm talking about older neighborhood like that
Speaker 1: that the houses are all built in the nineteen twenties,
Speaker 1: nineteen ten so and oftentimes a lot of these houses
Speaker 1: they don't have AC, they don't have updating plumbing. We
Speaker 1: have all of that. Like when we moved in, we
Speaker 1: have all new electric. We have AC units, these beautiful
Speaker 1: picture frame units in every single bedroom. We have like,
Speaker 1: like I said, all new electrical. We also did insulation
Speaker 1: throughout the whole house. So all of these extras. So
Speaker 1: I was like, eh, what I got a praised for
Speaker 1: was about to me twenty five about twenty five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars less than what I thought it was going to
Speaker 1: be a praise for. So I was kind of like,
Speaker 1: I turned around all our black pictures though to so
Speaker 1: but I was like, you know, me and black Drew,
Speaker 1: my husband, we were in there, so it wasn't I
Speaker 1: honestly had the I we said to myself, if I
Speaker 1: was ever going to sell my house. That was going
Speaker 1: to take down all the black things, and then I
Speaker 1: was going to have my one white friend, Catherine, like
Speaker 1: be there for the appraisal.
Speaker 4: You're my friend, but I have a budget, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not the same that you even have to
Speaker 1: because I don't even know, you don't know for sure.
Speaker 1: There's that player role. I mean it does play a role,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean to play the role with them.
Speaker 1: But to me, I would hedge my bets. That was
Speaker 1: always my plan. So I'm not too pissed, only because
Speaker 1: we're not looking to sell. We were just looking to
Speaker 1: pull out some money. So yeah, that was just like
Speaker 1: I just remember thinking that, like, huh did we not
Speaker 1: get that the amount that I thought because we're black,
Speaker 1: Because I mean they kept saying, amazing house, beautiful house.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: I mean every into this place is renovated.
Speaker 4: So I was just like, I wonder, I mean, it'd
Speaker 4: be really, it would be so hard to tell. You
Speaker 4: would need to create a similar situation with the white owner,
Speaker 4: similar respect to that, you know, similar neighborhood like all that.
Speaker 4: But no, I have no doubt that that happens. And
Speaker 4: it's quite sad. What about getting a second or third opinion.
Speaker 4: I know that appraisals cost money, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well no, only the only reason why I didn't push.
Speaker 2: If we were looking to sell.
Speaker 1: Then yes, absolutely, But because we're looking to pull money out,
Speaker 1: we're when we're looking to sell, we're going to get
Speaker 1: another appraisal anyway.
Speaker 2: So I was just like, eh, we're not.
Speaker 4: Even when you're talking about a home equity alone.
Speaker 1: No, because we're not. This is literally a refinance. They
Speaker 1: call it a refinance cash.
Speaker 4: Out, Oh, cash out refinance. Yeah, sorry, I must have
Speaker 4: been looking at my notes when you said that cash
Speaker 4: out refund, so that's when you mm hmmm, I got it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but still they would do their own appraisal. I think
Speaker 4: the Wonderwood exactly everything so review.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's why I said I'm not worried about
Speaker 1: it for now. But it's just kind of like mental note.
Speaker 1: You're right, you totally need to get Catherine open the
Speaker 1: door next time, you know.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I mean that's sad, and it's also something
Speaker 4: that's sort of out of your control, especially like when
Speaker 4: I was when we did when we got our house
Speaker 4: approved appraisal. We live our neighborhood is I call it
Speaker 4: a diamond in the rough because it is. And one
Speaker 4: of the things that appealed to me, it's so funny
Speaker 4: that you said you would take all the you know,
Speaker 4: black things out of your house, the picture frames and
Speaker 4: the whatever could let lead people to believe, you know,
Speaker 4: which is so just ridiculous to me anyway, that it
Speaker 4: was owned by, you know, a black family. But that
Speaker 4: was one of the things that I liked about this house,
Speaker 4: in this neighborhood is that I could just see I
Speaker 4: don't think it's legal for real estate agents to tell
Speaker 4: you this, but I could see neighborhoo. It was really diverse,
Speaker 4: especially for the area of the Burbs where we live.
Speaker 4: It's not that common. And I had my own perceptions
Speaker 4: about what happens when you go thirty minutes out of
Speaker 4: New York City. I had my own stereotypes of what
Speaker 4: kind of people live there. And we did find a
Speaker 4: really diverse neighborhood. And I'll never forget when I walked
Speaker 4: into the kitchen, I just I could feel it was
Speaker 4: a black family. Like I just it just felt like
Speaker 4: my aunt Brenda's house, you know, it just and she
Speaker 4: had this this like Maya. This man and woman like
Speaker 4: salt pepper shakers, but they were they were African American
Speaker 4: salt pepper shakers, and I was like, this is so
Speaker 4: cute and it just felt like a good fan. I
Speaker 4: don't know, but you're right, it could totally work against
Speaker 4: you the other way. And there's so much that goes
Speaker 4: sadly along with majority minority neighborhoods that is not you know,
Speaker 4: is not the fault of the people who live there
Speaker 4: at all, but you know, tend to have lower uh
Speaker 4: not the best school districts, and you know, lower income,
Speaker 4: which feeds into property taxes, which feeds into public services,
Speaker 4: which you know, it just like is a self fulfilling
Speaker 4: prophecy that that's not going to be an ideal place,
Speaker 4: but you know it's a dam Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because we considered it, because I was like, okay, so
Speaker 1: once we reach a certain level of income, we were
Speaker 1: talking about do we do we move? Do we move
Speaker 1: like super suburb? And I considered it because there's some
Speaker 1: other there's like Montclair. I don't know if you've heard
Speaker 1: of Montclair before.
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, we oh, we looked at Montclair. Girl
Speaker 4: too expensive a.
Speaker 1: Girl it is, oh and it's super super funcy, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, but there's something to be said,
Speaker 1: Like I take a walk every day now, just something
Speaker 1: to be said is the neighborhood. It's I mean, we
Speaker 1: have a mix here as well, so you get lots
Speaker 1: of black families, lots of Hispanic families, we have some
Speaker 1: white families.
Speaker 2: So there's something to be.
Speaker 1: Said to walk in my hoodie and my sweats and
Speaker 1: people not clutch their bag and stuff.
Speaker 4: You know, there's everything to get said about it. It's sad. Truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I can live.
Speaker 1: I could see me and Superman moving to like this
Speaker 1: Montclair or some of these other places. But the truth
Speaker 1: is he's six six and like two shades lighter than
Speaker 1: Jet Black. And I don't want him to feel uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Or like I don't. We
Speaker 1: don't have to think about it here, like this is Newark,
Speaker 1: it's New k it's largely a black city, and then
Speaker 1: we have like a large Hispanic and Portuguese population, and
Speaker 1: so you know, you can just be here and be black.
Speaker 1: He doesn't have to think about it, like if he
Speaker 1: comes home at night, it's not the clutching of my pearls.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, well, for the most part, we're black
Speaker 1: around here, so okay. So I just was thinking. I
Speaker 1: was thinking that the other day because I was kind
Speaker 1: of like making a list of like okay, well, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: as you're making.
Speaker 2: More and you're doing better, like, well, what do you want?
Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I think I want a
Speaker 1: different house because I don't want to be on the
Speaker 1: third floor when I'm fifty.
Speaker 2: We have a nice third fourth suitep but my knees girl, right,
Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, where would you get it? Oh,
Speaker 2: maybe Montclair or.
Speaker 1: Maybe these other places. And I was like, yeah, but
Speaker 1: is that really where you? Like there's a beauty Coulpon
Speaker 1: probably find a beautiful house here because there's just a
Speaker 1: certain level of, you know, being in a neighborhood where
Speaker 1: folks look like you and you.
Speaker 2: Can at least boossa Like.
Speaker 1: I love the fact that, like we live next to
Speaker 1: a Dominican family, and I just love like we go
Speaker 1: outside and if it's barbecue time, they're playing in music
Speaker 1: and they're like, mommy, you want anything. And it's not
Speaker 1: the sense of like, oh, y'all playing music, because then
Speaker 1: when it's our party and Drel's playing hip hop.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Not that.
Speaker 4: There's no Karen's next door, yes exactly.
Speaker 2: Because well we do have a Karen across the street.
Speaker 4: And yeah, but she came for the whole food.
Speaker 2: What I mean, Well, it's actually not Karen.
Speaker 1: I guess it's a literally well I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: his name because actually his name starts with the K.
Speaker 1: But he one day came to our house, Keith, aggressively
Speaker 1: because someone had parked up and their bumper was blocking
Speaker 1: his driveway, and so he rang our doorbell right right right,
Speaker 1: I'm singing him on the ring. I wasn't even home,
Speaker 1: and so he's like, someone bumpers dropping, you know, blocking
Speaker 1: my driveway. I scraped my Mercedes trying to get in.
Speaker 1: So one I was like, that seems odd because who
Speaker 1: would scrape their own car trying to get in? Why
Speaker 1: not just find the person first and.
Speaker 4: Love how we had to drop the name of the
Speaker 4: car too, That was understanding, yes.
Speaker 1: And so it turned out it was my husband's twin brother,
Speaker 1: and so I mean we know them across the street.
Speaker 1: I mean we were fairly friendly. He was like, you know,
Speaker 1: your car is blocking my driveway he's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. He's like, where you're going. He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to decide to get the keys so I
Speaker 1: can move my car. He's like okay, So he waits
Speaker 1: for him and then starts berating him, don't ever do
Speaker 1: this again. And meanwhile, my husbands twin they're twin twins,
Speaker 1: so he's six six as well. He's like, okay, I
Speaker 1: heard you. I'm sorry I scraped my car. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: don't be sorry, be careful. And he was like wow, yes.
Speaker 1: So he was like, all right, man, I hear you.
Speaker 1: And so I guess it wasn't enough.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe he was drunk. He kicked his car.
Speaker 4: Oh god, yes?
Speaker 1: And then so and then to his credit, my twin
Speaker 1: did not do anything. He just said come on man.
Speaker 1: And then the dude puts his fists up and says,
Speaker 1: let's go.
Speaker 4: So this is on your ring, Please tell me the ring?
Speaker 4: Oh fabulous, Well you can you have evidence? You know?
Speaker 4: For those What a damn shame, isn't it. You need
Speaker 4: a camera these days.
Speaker 1: But I'm so glad because something that he did is
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't speak to them anymore because I
Speaker 1: could have forgiven all of that. So luckily, because you know,
Speaker 1: like he's a small white man. Twin was just like,
Speaker 1: all right, man, it just goes across street while he's
Speaker 1: being yelled at and cursed at whatever and just come
Speaker 1: back in the house. So I'm watching, and so I
Speaker 1: hear him tell his partner partner, call the police, Call
Speaker 1: the police. That's when I was like, oh yes, That's
Speaker 1: when I was like wow. And so my sister happened
Speaker 1: to be at my house and she's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I heard yelling outside, and so I was in I
Speaker 1: was actually in California taping the reel. So I was like, well,
Speaker 1: let me look at my ring and I saw all
Speaker 1: of that, and I was like, wow, call the police.
Speaker 4: Actually, so this wasn't I thought this happened like this week.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, this happened like a little while ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it just happened to thinking because you said like like,
Speaker 1: I don't live next Tony Karens, And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: live next door Ken though, and so yeah, so I
Speaker 1: told my husband because he the guy across the street,
Speaker 1: ended up calling my husband to say, your brother was
Speaker 1: so this, you know, trying to cop police and I
Speaker 1: just told Superman, just send him the ring videos one
Speaker 1: by one. It was four collectively, send him each one
Speaker 1: and don't say anything. All of a sudden, you know,
Speaker 1: his tune change.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed of my behavior. You weren't
Speaker 2: ashamed until we had you on video.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: So we just keep it as insurance. So if they
Speaker 1: you know, you want to get you want to act up,
Speaker 1: you can get smacked up. So we we I never
Speaker 1: we never get it. We didn't call the police, we
Speaker 1: did anything. I just keep it with me. We keep
Speaker 1: it saved. So if you know, if ever anything, it's
Speaker 1: cause we can be like, well, actually let me show
Speaker 1: you how you behave so you just gotta be mindful.
Speaker 1: That's why I was like, do I really want to
Speaker 1: live in Montclaire?
Speaker 4: M m, well, you know side note mark, Montclair is
Speaker 4: supposed to be the biracial capital I've heard, but it's
Speaker 4: I would have my people racially confused people. But for
Speaker 4: that reason alone, like, no, I get it, you want
Speaker 4: and I'm the same way, or you know we are
Speaker 4: that well, we're the Dominican you know, racially ambiguous family
Speaker 4: next door. Yes we are, but we have plenty of
Speaker 4: lovely neighbors. Goodness gracious. Yeah, and I feel like in
Speaker 4: this time, you want to feel like you have good
Speaker 4: neighbors because they're all b C. And our neighbor's next door,
Speaker 4: you know, the little kiddie walks our dog, he's so sweet,
Speaker 4: and then his his mom and dad. You know, we've
Speaker 4: we took them a little Easter arrangement because I don't know,
Speaker 4: I just felt like I wanted to see some flowers,
Speaker 4: and so I got some flowers for them, and then
Speaker 4: they brought us a Mother's Day gift, brought me a
Speaker 4: Mother's Day gift over, and then my neighbor across the street, Paulette,
Speaker 4: is always texting me, and anyway, it feels like we
Speaker 4: have this cute little I don't know, I just I
Speaker 4: feel more than ever like I want to reach out
Speaker 4: to these people and just say, hey, we're here, and
Speaker 4: we are you know, nice people, and how are you?
Speaker 4: And have some because they're the only people we can
Speaker 4: see in person, you know, And it sucks. I know,
Speaker 4: I said I was going a little bit loopy, but legitimately,
Speaker 4: when I do my one on ones now with people
Speaker 4: on my team, the ones who were living in studio,
Speaker 4: apartments or living on alone wherever they are, they're the
Speaker 4: ones really struggling, and I try and check in with
Speaker 4: them more often than not, and they're all kind of
Speaker 4: feeling the fatigue of just not we just we need
Speaker 4: physical connection, social connection to people, and a lot of it,
Speaker 4: doesn't it feel. I mean, I don't know what's happening
Speaker 4: on your world, but I just feel like over here
Speaker 4: it's starting to get to people. And I'm not even
Speaker 4: near a breaking point, you know, I thank god. I
Speaker 4: still I still talk to my therapist once a week.
Speaker 4: I still have the anti anxiety meds that I started
Speaker 4: long before this all happened, not long before before. It
Speaker 4: was a good time. I'm just saying, if it wasn't
Speaker 4: going to be the post part of anxiety that was
Speaker 4: gonna get me, it was probably gonna be the pandemic anxiety.
Speaker 4: But I got my little Zola prescriptions on time, and
Speaker 4: you know, I'm just doing something. But it's the unknown.
Speaker 4: It's like how long does this lasts? And it's so
Speaker 4: anyway I feel, and all the anxiety. I was gonna say,
Speaker 4: if this happened that week with your neighbor, you almost
Speaker 4: wonder is it just people going nuts. You know, before
Speaker 4: he sounds, he sounds next levels delightful. Makes me so mad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm actually proud, Like I just I was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: you're better than me. Bro. I'm not even violent. I
Speaker 1: feel like I would at least pushed him when he
Speaker 1: kicked my car. But yeah, so this.
Speaker 2: Is random but not random. Did you see there's like
Speaker 2: this big Well.
Speaker 1: I don't know how often you're on Twitter, but black
Speaker 1: Twitter right now is dragging a particular influencer. Because no, thankfully,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say her name just because I feel
Speaker 1: like I don't think that that's part of the point.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's a good teachable lesson, not about
Speaker 1: the influencer. But so someone reached out to her to
Speaker 1: be their mentor and she sent them a letter like
Speaker 1: the The letter seemed like it was really nice. It
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm eager to connect with another
Speaker 1: black woman who's doing the dagone thing.
Speaker 2: I too, am like a mom.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you get this alive and you have a
Speaker 1: lot going on with your family, but I figure we're
Speaker 1: both quarantining so you might have some time. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: thought the letter was nice, but she wrote back say like,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for reaching out. And typically when
Speaker 1: someone inquires about me being their mentor, either one lead
Speaker 1: with offering relevant value as well as asking for guidance
Speaker 1: or in a way that it could be a two
Speaker 1: way street, or get approached me with the take take, take, take,
Speaker 1: mindset telling me what they need from me with no
Speaker 1: intention of reciprocity. Every sentence in your email and their
Speaker 1: email starts with I, this seems like number two. I
Speaker 1: was like, like that. I was like, so I thought
Speaker 1: in lieu of that not to drive the influencer because
Speaker 1: she has since apologize and realized, like, you know, that
Speaker 1: was not the way, because I guess what made it
Speaker 1: really bad is that she shared it to social So
Speaker 1: it wasn't.
Speaker 4: Like I was gonna say, how did this come out?
Speaker 1: The influencer shared it herself, said hey, look someone reached
Speaker 1: out to me to be my mentor.
Speaker 2: Isn't this crazy?
Speaker 1: This was my response to them, So I just thought
Speaker 1: it would may be good for us, because I'm sure
Speaker 1: people have reached out to ask you to be their mentor.
Speaker 1: I know they've asked me, like you know, many people,
Speaker 1: and then I've also reached out to people to ask
Speaker 1: to be people's mentors and just maybe like sharing when
Speaker 1: someone like when someone reaches out to you, what's your
Speaker 1: typical response and how do you typically reach out? I
Speaker 1: think that's would be good for us to share because
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's to me, there's no one
Speaker 1: good way to find a mentor, because that's a question
Speaker 1: I think people ask me a lot, how do I
Speaker 1: find a mentor? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I love being a mentor. I am almost more into
Speaker 4: it than the person who asked me. And I feel
Speaker 4: like I come on too strong, and it's funny that
Speaker 4: it's true. I'm like, oh my god, I can't wait
Speaker 4: to tell you about this and that, and please ask
Speaker 4: me about this and that. But because I know how
Speaker 4: hungry I was for that kind of information. But I
Speaker 4: don't know if it's the youth today or what. But
Speaker 4: the last couple of mentees I've had, I actually participate
Speaker 4: through my alma mater's official mentor program, which is kind
Speaker 4: of like it's an online dating site almost where they
Speaker 4: can pick their mentor based on you have a profile
Speaker 4: picture and your stats and your whatever, and they can
Speaker 4: pick you and you get to see them and what
Speaker 4: they're you know, if swipe left on you or whatever
Speaker 4: the right direction is these days. If they select you
Speaker 4: that you get to see their profile and you can
Speaker 4: if you have a match, then you're their mentor for
Speaker 4: the half semester or whatever it is. I get annoyed
Speaker 4: by when they don't follow up with me, like I spent.
Speaker 4: I took time with the last mentee I had, and
Speaker 4: I spent real time. Not only that, but I worked
Speaker 4: at one of the digital I worked at Business Insider,
Speaker 4: and a lot of people who were coming into journalism
Speaker 4: and they often talk to me because they want to
Speaker 4: get into business journalism, and when they see that I
Speaker 4: worked at BI, often they'll ask me if I know
Speaker 4: anything about internships or if I can put in a
Speaker 4: good word for them. And I have been a feeder
Speaker 4: somewhat of recruits to BI since I left, because I'm
Speaker 4: the same recruiter. Is still the head of HR there
Speaker 4: and we have a good connection and I feel like
Speaker 4: I can reach out to her and refer her, but
Speaker 4: I don't do that lightly. And anyhow, this meante I
Speaker 4: spent maybe an hour on the phone with her, and
Speaker 4: then the next call she canceled, like five minutes before.
Speaker 4: And meanwhile, this is when I am in quarantine with
Speaker 4: a baby end of work schedule, and for me to
Speaker 4: actually make this call work. I had just bent over
Speaker 4: backwards to make sure this was taken care of and
Speaker 4: that was taken care of, and then she bailed and
Speaker 4: then didn't send a follow up, and I just it
Speaker 4: didn't feel respectful of my time, and I was feel
Speaker 4: and I kind of my feeling's hurt because I genuinely
Speaker 4: do want to help people. And I feel like now
Speaker 4: more than ever, people who are out there on the
Speaker 4: cusp of graduation or even just on the cusp of
Speaker 4: losing their job and need career advice, I have that
Speaker 4: advice to offer because I did go through a recession
Speaker 4: and lost my job and bounce back and all that,
Speaker 4: And so that's what's on my heart right now, just
Speaker 4: that experience. And if you don't know, and don't think,
Speaker 4: maybe this person's thinking, well, she doesn't care about me,
Speaker 4: what's the big deal. I'm just some you know, student,
Speaker 4: she has other things going on. Who cares? She won't
Speaker 4: mind if I just cancel this, But you I hope
Speaker 4: the other person does care. I mean, it's it's a
Speaker 4: sign of respect for their time that you would follow
Speaker 4: ups and do notice take notes, you know, that kind
Speaker 4: of thing, and it's kind of a bummer when that
Speaker 4: doesn't happen.
Speaker 5: And so like I to me, it's a mix between
Speaker 5: like because sometimes people will will a lot of people
Speaker 5: just message me and say, hey, Tiffany, I'd love to
Speaker 5: like talk to you about like how you got started
Speaker 5: doing what you're doing, and so to me, they're not
Speaker 5: necessarily looking for like mentorship.
Speaker 1: So I have about three actually mentees that I check
Speaker 1: in with regularly, but sometimes people just want to jump
Speaker 1: on the phone. And if I have the I would
Speaker 1: say a good eighty percent. If you're a woman, there's
Speaker 1: a good ninety percent chance. If you're like, well, I'll
Speaker 1: say it's eighty percent chance. If you're a woman, ninety
Speaker 1: percent chance, if you're a black woman, ninety five percent chance.
Speaker 1: If you're a student, like, it's very I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever said no to a student, just because I
Speaker 1: just remember like not knowing anything and how much guidance
Speaker 1: I needed.
Speaker 2: But because sometimes the.
Speaker 1: Only times I say no is if I really think
Speaker 1: that it's not a fit or like sometimes some people
Speaker 1: are asking me things that I'm like, oh, well, here,
Speaker 1: this is a blog post that'll be fine or something
Speaker 1: that I wrote, But most times I say yes because
Speaker 1: you know, one I like to pour back in. I
Speaker 1: mean literally, as the budgetista I'm teach, so you can't
Speaker 1: get me to shut up. But typically those people are
Speaker 1: actually not looking for long term mentorship. Even though I
Speaker 1: leave the door open so I might talk to someone,
Speaker 1: we might talk for an hour or so. And so
Speaker 1: if I have ever said no, and I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about like no via email, because people will DM me
Speaker 1: all the time now that I might not get to
Speaker 1: because I'm you know, I might get one hundred direct
Speaker 1: messages on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook collectively daily, so that
Speaker 1: I might not adhere too. But if you send me
Speaker 1: an email, it's very likely that I will make time
Speaker 1: to talk on the phone if my schedule is not
Speaker 1: super crazy, because be prepared, will be on the phone
Speaker 1: at least an hour.
Speaker 2: And I don't mind.
Speaker 1: I like pouring back in, especially women, especially young women
Speaker 1: of color. I like pouring back in. So I don't
Speaker 1: know that there's ever one way I don't think of
Speaker 1: I've ever I'm trying to think I've ever gotten an
Speaker 1: email from someone that's asked me for advice that I
Speaker 1: was offended by no.
Speaker 2: I mean a lot of people say, I love what
Speaker 2: you're doing.
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to do what you do
Speaker 1: in California or Chica go with this or that, or
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to do what you do
Speaker 1: as a nurse though or as a as a you know,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that they're doing. And so I don't
Speaker 1: know that I've ever gotten any email that's offended me.
Speaker 4: Well, I think you're getting at an important point, which
Speaker 4: is also that it doesn't have to be such a
Speaker 4: like mentorship has such a loaded, you know, connotation that
Speaker 4: this is going to last for years and I'm gonna,
Speaker 4: you know, if you if you just have a specific
Speaker 4: goal that you want to reach this year, it doesn't
Speaker 4: like don't get don't get caught up and establishing some
Speaker 4: sort of important lifelong mentorship relationship. Time will tell if
Speaker 4: that's what happened. But if there is an often, especially
Speaker 4: with the young, because the students I mentor through the
Speaker 4: University of Georgia, they are still in school and I
Speaker 4: find that they don't know what they want to do yet,
Speaker 4: and that makes it very difficult for me to help
Speaker 4: because they don't know what they want yet. And fair enough,
Speaker 4: you're a college student. Part of my job as a
Speaker 4: mentor is maybe to help you figure out what you
Speaker 4: want a little bit. But if you have a specific
Speaker 4: goal that we can attack in thirty minutes or tackle
Speaker 4: in an hour, yeah, then that would help. I'm just like,
Speaker 4: I'm that person in the meeting who's like, where's the agenda?
Speaker 4: What are the three things? And if it starts, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm all about the small talk though, okay, but can
Speaker 4: we get five minutes in? I'm like, and bullet point one,
Speaker 4: let's go on this list. And if there's not one,
Speaker 4: I get really annoyed and I will stop a meeting
Speaker 4: and say, what are we here for?
Speaker 1: Again?
Speaker 4: And I think, if you're looking especially, it's about respecting
Speaker 4: people's time. Yes, it's all about that, That's what I think.
Speaker 1: And then too, I think, like you know, mentee mentorships,
Speaker 1: it's like organic like so the ones that I like,
Speaker 1: the two it's really too heavily now. But there's three
Speaker 1: altogether that I speak too regularly, and we don't even have.
Speaker 2: Regularly scheduled calls.
Speaker 1: There's one in particular I probably speak her at least
Speaker 1: once a week because if I learn a lesson, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I learn a lesson. Let me call it easy, because
Speaker 1: I know this would be so good for her to
Speaker 1: learn because that was she doesn't have to make the
Speaker 1: same mistake because we really just click. She feels like
Speaker 1: my younger cousin, you know, so mentorship works best that
Speaker 1: way when you will just clicked.
Speaker 2: But I just thought that would be a good teacher
Speaker 2: for moment.
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't time for questions, but I just thought, like.
Speaker 4: You know, don't be a dick and also share your
Speaker 4: emails like that you think people like, don't don't be
Speaker 4: that person that's embarrassing, you know. I hope she'd at
Speaker 4: least blocked out the young person's and she did thankfully. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: don't don't be a jerk. It's just be nice, be kind,
Speaker 4: be kind, treat people like you would you're you know,
Speaker 4: your sibling or I guess sometimes we're mean to our siblings.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, maybe not just about.
Speaker 4: This your neighbor, because you are way more polite to
Speaker 4: your neighbor probably than you are to your own.
Speaker 1: And to be to give her credit, she did admit.
Speaker 1: She said I was a hole. I made a mistake.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. So she has like you know, right
Speaker 1: away she realized the error was like, yikes, maybe not
Speaker 1: the best choice. So, and that's not an easy thing
Speaker 1: to do when everyone's dragging you to like step forward
Speaker 1: and say yes, I deserve the dragging and I repent.
Speaker 4: So I mean, yeah, so she's uncanceled, got it.
Speaker 1: I don't cancel anybody anymore unless you're a rapist and
Speaker 1: a pedophile.
Speaker 4: Okay, well, I mean yeah, those are good. It's a
Speaker 4: good list. And tweet a lot of.
Speaker 1: People right or super racist something like that, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I don't cancel when people make
Speaker 1: mistakes or if I'm just like I mean, lord only knows.
Speaker 1: One day it'll be my turn. I hope not on Twitter,
Speaker 1: because they will drag you for life fulfilled forever. I'd
Speaker 1: be like, whoa, I.
Speaker 4: Keep not kidding. That exactly is exactly the reason I
Speaker 4: got out of the Twitter game. I do not participate.
Speaker 4: I'll watch, but I don't like to tweet because I
Speaker 4: got way too caught up in that. Oh I want
Speaker 4: to be the most clever tweet. I want to get
Speaker 4: all of the most retweets and the likes. And you
Speaker 4: start testing those waters and you get into trouble. People
Speaker 4: try and be funny and next thing you know, they're
Speaker 4: losing their job because they tweeted something yes, in the
Speaker 4: in the heat of a moment, and I'm super paranoid
Speaker 4: about it. Yes, yeah, I have my little brother one
Speaker 4: time go through the nevermind. I won't tell y'all because
Speaker 4: you'll go do it and find something we didn't find.
Speaker 4: But any way, shall we move on to some questions?
Speaker 4: Yes do. Let's take a quick break and we will
Speaker 4: be right back with your questions. Already, y'all, it's time
Speaker 4: for questions again. You can hit us up at Brandanmission
Speaker 4: podcast at gmail dot com with your questions, or reach
Speaker 4: out to me on the Gram. I'm there reading y'all's
Speaker 4: questions Brandonbission Podcast on Instagram. Keep them short, keep them light.
Speaker 4: Let me know if you want to be anonymous or else.
Speaker 4: I'll try and figure out how to pronounce y'all's weird
Speaker 4: Instagram handles. Okay, and I just can't. It's all that
Speaker 4: have to go on. Okay, and what else? We still
Speaker 4: have a site. Check that out brandonbissionpodcast dot com. To
Speaker 4: drop us a note the old fashioned way through to
Speaker 4: ask us anything, tab and let's see, we have a
Speaker 4: couple of questions from the GRAM to the first question,
Speaker 4: and this, as I have talked about on the podcast before.
Speaker 4: I know Tiffany and I grew up with very different
Speaker 4: relationships with our parents when it came to money. Her
Speaker 4: daddy was a CFO. My daddy was a hot mess,
Speaker 4: but like a in a sweet way. My dad still
Speaker 4: rolls up his savings in his socks in his closet,
Speaker 4: and Tiffany's dad, you know, has probably he probably not does,
Speaker 4: have socks, cash and his money. My dad told me
Speaker 4: he was gonna deposit all the coins he had in
Speaker 4: his giant water jug in his bedroom and that was
Speaker 4: gonna carry him through while he was unemployed. And I'm
Speaker 4: sure Tiffany's dad would not just sharing. So this question
Speaker 4: hit a little close to home for me, and I
Speaker 4: guess it comes from someone from the GRAM who would
Speaker 4: like to remain anonymous. She says, my mom has been
Speaker 4: constantly horrible with finances my entire life. I'm thirty four
Speaker 4: years old, She's turning sixty next year and is still
Speaker 4: making illogical financial decisions. I find myself having to help
Speaker 4: her financially, and it's been that way since I was
Speaker 4: a little girl. Recently she fell behind on her rent
Speaker 4: and utilities. Again. She's currently still working through the pandemic,
Speaker 4: so it's not really an issue. I think she just
Speaker 4: has poor money management, and I think she can do better.
Speaker 4: The problem is that I don't really want to have
Speaker 4: the conversation with her, but I want to. I've tried
Speaker 4: in the past, but she gave me attitude and wasn't
Speaker 4: recepted to my advice. I even bought her a book
Speaker 4: to help her, but I don't think she has read it.
Speaker 4: What can I do? While anonymous? I feel you My
Speaker 4: dad still puts his money in socks in his closet,
Speaker 4: and he still collects quarters in his giant water jug.
Speaker 4: And you know, every time my FaceTime in with the baby,
Speaker 4: he's at one of his great uncle's houses, chilling out
Speaker 4: within six feet dy them, and still ghost fishing and
Speaker 4: all that stuff. And I've just had to let it
Speaker 4: go elsa style, I honestly have. The only thing I
Speaker 4: can say that you know you can pull this card
Speaker 4: out is it's not so much about their financial health.
Speaker 4: It's like, and maybe it's a little bit selfish, but
Speaker 4: my brother and I have talked about like I think
Speaker 4: my dad's retirement plan is us, Like, we need to
Speaker 4: make sure we have a lot our financial in place.
Speaker 4: Like I think he thinks we're his four oh one K,
Speaker 4: Like I'm the initial four one K. My brother is
Speaker 4: the match. You know this man. I mean, he was
Speaker 4: always a free spirit and he finally got a real
Speaker 4: job the past couple of years and he has a
Speaker 4: four to one ca of his own now. But yeah,
Speaker 4: and and and I kind of feel like you can
Speaker 4: only lead the horse to water. And if you're going
Speaker 4: to try a new tactic, I would say bring it
Speaker 4: to her, as in, Mom, I want to know that
Speaker 4: you're gonna be okay as you get old. They're you know,
Speaker 4: I don't know if you have any siblings, but let's
Speaker 4: say you or our siblings. We want to be able
Speaker 4: to take care of you, but we aren't, you know,
Speaker 4: financially capable of sustaining you. So we need to let
Speaker 4: you have a plan and maybe pose it to her
Speaker 4: that way. But you also need to be prepared for
Speaker 4: the fact that she's sixty and it's real hard to
Speaker 4: change to turn that ship around. Yeah, when they get
Speaker 4: to be that age, they're very set in their ways.
Speaker 4: You might just need to make peace with that and
Speaker 4: try to do what I did, which is everything the opposite.
Speaker 1: That's the trick.
Speaker 4: Anything to add to what would you say? How would like?
Speaker 4: What do you think I tried before?
Speaker 1: I know it's hard for me because I'm like, ah,
Speaker 1: that's so like if anything, my dad still saves, like
Speaker 1: you know, he lives back in Nigeria.
Speaker 4: So is there anything that your parents do that's the
Speaker 4: bad habit that you've tried to talk like get them
Speaker 4: to stop doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like you know, my mom's somebody who likes
Speaker 1: she's a nurse, so she's not feeling good, she'll go
Speaker 1: to the doctor. So my dad, who like most men,
Speaker 1: does not the doctor not feeling good, he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to go, so definitely I with him. What we do
Speaker 1: is we lay on the We all will layer up
Speaker 1: and lay on the Daddy.
Speaker 2: We love you so much.
Speaker 1: We want you to be here to see the grand kids,
Speaker 1: Like you know, you have to go because something happened,
Speaker 1: you know, so kind of like laying on the kid
Speaker 1: guilt that like, yeah, you know that if you're not here,
Speaker 1: if you're not okay, we won't be okay. So that's
Speaker 1: one of the I guess the tips that you could
Speaker 1: try to lean in is that the reason why I'm
Speaker 1: so hard on you is because I want you to
Speaker 1: be okay, because I need you to be okay. So
Speaker 1: almost leaning into like like you're six again, like I
Speaker 1: need my mommy, you know. So yeah, that's probably what
Speaker 1: I would lean into, and that has helped where he's like, okay,
Speaker 1: that was.
Speaker 2: Like because it's five of us, so you know, it's
Speaker 2: a long way to go.
Speaker 1: Every day that phone ringing, so I know it might
Speaker 1: only be you, but definitely leaning into. I mean, moms
Speaker 1: are queens of guilt trips. It's time for you to
Speaker 1: turn that guilt wipe back around.
Speaker 4: Her mom's and aunties. My god, and when they know
Speaker 4: how to text to there's no stop in them. The
Speaker 4: long text comes through an Burndah, my god, stop it.
Speaker 4: I yes, no, I think back to nine year old
Speaker 4: you know Mandy, who used to try and steal her
Speaker 4: mom's cartons of misty men thought lights and hide them
Speaker 4: in the closet because I wanted her to stop smoking.
Speaker 4: Because I was so literal about everything, and I did
Speaker 4: the science project on cancer or there were you know,
Speaker 4: we learned about cancer in class one day in biology,
Speaker 4: and I was just like, oh my god, my mom
Speaker 4: is dying tomorrow. You know. She and I and I
Speaker 4: used to just like fight with her, and she would
Speaker 4: get so mad at me and I would hide them anyway,
Speaker 4: and I would pour water on him and all kinds
Speaker 4: of stuff. And she quit in two thousand and nine.
Speaker 4: I wasn't even in the country, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 4: now you quit all the work. She quit when she
Speaker 4: was ready, you know, and you know you just got
Speaker 4: to let it go. And one more thing I'll add
Speaker 4: is I think in this pandemic. Since we are talking,
Speaker 4: you know, she acknowledges her mom is still working through
Speaker 4: the pandemic. I have a good girlfriend who I you know,
Speaker 4: she called me crying because her mom owns a nail
Speaker 4: salon in Georgia. And as you guys know, my home
Speaker 4: state is doing the most and is reopened already despite
Speaker 4: dire warnings from all scientists and health officials. But anyhow,
Speaker 4: it's happening, and her mom has reopened her nail salon,
Speaker 4: and and this is weeks after her daughter has been
Speaker 4: spending all this time and energy trying to fill out
Speaker 4: her applications for pandemic unemployment assistance for the paycheck Protection
Speaker 4: program and then unemployment, you know, all the different applications
Speaker 4: and all that pressure has been on her, and she's
Speaker 4: just so mad, you know, like it's almost like, how
Speaker 4: can you repay me in this way? And I had
Speaker 4: to told her the same thing. You know, at a
Speaker 4: certain point, I have just had to stop lecturing my dad,
Speaker 4: like it just it is what it is. You can't
Speaker 4: stop grown people from doing, from doing grown people's stuff.
Speaker 4: And you say your piece, and then you have to
Speaker 4: move on and try not to let it stress you
Speaker 4: out too much. But I you know, I feel you
Speaker 4: on that for sure, Anonymous, And let's see moving on
Speaker 4: to our next question. This is actually this is kind
Speaker 4: of funny. This is a frequent questionnaire questionnaer to our Instagram.
Speaker 4: I don't even know this person's name he or she,
Speaker 4: but I feel like they send lots of messages. This
Speaker 4: is from exodebt free Love on Instagram. She has several
Speaker 4: questions for us, kind of funny. She has like it's
Speaker 4: almost like a quick fire question for how and what
Speaker 4: we've been doing in quarantine. Do you want to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it, let's do it, Let's do it.
Speaker 4: Okay, what was your most ridiculous or unnecessary online purchase
Speaker 4: since quarantine?
Speaker 6: Tiffany Ah, I I make any ridiculous unnecessary purchase, I
Speaker 6: have not.
Speaker 1: Really made it. I bought vitamins. I don't know that
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous.
Speaker 4: I bought an immersion hand blender and it looks like
Speaker 4: a giant dildo, and I'm just.
Speaker 2: Gonna say it.
Speaker 1: It does.
Speaker 4: I can't keep it on the counter.
Speaker 2: Phallic symbols everywhere.
Speaker 4: Phallic Yeah. I mean it's not even funny. It just
Speaker 4: am like, Wow, did a man design this or what?
Speaker 4: I bought it thinking I was gonna mash up Rio's babyfood. Okay,
Speaker 4: but homeboy has no interest in eating solids right now.
Speaker 1: Ye kids are so funny. They're like, girl, you tried it,
Speaker 1: so I will say this. I spent like four hundred
Speaker 1: dollars on vitamins and so wait me, so I guess
Speaker 1: that is kind of ridiculous because I.
Speaker 4: Was so freaked out. I was like, my dad gets
Speaker 4: you to.
Speaker 2: I was so freaked out. I was like, we need
Speaker 2: vitamin C.
Speaker 4: Wait is that before or after I came and started
Speaker 4: like telling you how vitamins are a joke? And my
Speaker 4: dad's been telling me to buy vitamins and you were
Speaker 4: listening after it, Okay, I felt like you were really offended.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I was it. I wasn't, I tell you no,
Speaker 1: this is after it. I just was like freaked out.
Speaker 1: I was like, because a couple of friends of mine
Speaker 1: came down with corona and I just got so freaked out.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'm going to
Speaker 1: order zinc because zink is supposed to peaking for this,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to order cilium and I'm going to
Speaker 1: order vitamin C. And I literally I bought so much
Speaker 1: that we became like Superman, and I became the Black
Speaker 1: Santa Claus Santa Claus.
Speaker 2: And we we wiped everything down.
Speaker 1: And I had so much stuff that I made little
Speaker 1: baggies and spray them down and put them on my
Speaker 1: friend's front porch.
Speaker 4: Wait, Tiffany, you listen now, talk about being racial profil
Speaker 4: Please don't put people in baggies of pills on people's people.
Speaker 4: Are Keith's gonna Keith is gonna report.
Speaker 1: You like, oh wow, it's right. It's gonna be like
Speaker 1: she's the She's the neighborhood push a lady, right. So
Speaker 1: but yeah, so I just got so much, and I
Speaker 1: was like, Tiffany, it's gonna be okay. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I ordered so much stuff that some stuff came today.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I have more stuff.
Speaker 4: Goodness, so just get the one and day one of
Speaker 4: day Women's. That's the whole point of those pills. They
Speaker 4: have everything.
Speaker 1: I have every And honestly, my doctor told me that
Speaker 1: because I take I take pre natal vitamins, you know,
Speaker 1: for IVF, and those are great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said that.
Speaker 1: She's like, Tiffany, it literally has one thousand percent of everything.
Speaker 1: That's why they're previ.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know, She's like, okay, enjoy your diarrhea.
Speaker 4: Basically, well you can.
Speaker 1: Too many vita even in some cases are not healthy.
Speaker 1: So okay, that's why. That's why I gave so much away,
Speaker 1: because I was like, this is too.
Speaker 4: Much, So don't get don't don't get arrested for that
Speaker 4: kind of nonsense. Although would be kind of a funny
Speaker 4: story if everything happened. Okay, actually no, don't. It can
Speaker 4: go so wrong in a sad way. All right, Anyway,
Speaker 4: this is not quick fire at all. Next question, how
Speaker 4: often do you take naps or is that even possible?
Speaker 1: Woocha at least once a day, sometimes thrice.
Speaker 4: I hate you. Listen, well, I don't hate you, because
Speaker 4: you should. My sister, we're all I'm constantly messaging her,
Speaker 4: and she's I feel like she's always in the bed.
Speaker 4: I'm like, when do you work? I don't take naps.
Speaker 4: I still have trouble taking naps because I need so
Speaker 4: much caffeine to get started for each day, and so
Speaker 4: I'm typically too wired to take a nap, which is
Speaker 4: not healthy. If I had it my way, I would
Speaker 4: take a nap, but I can't between baby and work.
Speaker 4: No way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but y'all know, I was a naper before napper.
Speaker 1: Before so, I was a daily napper at least an
Speaker 1: hour before so. In the beginning of quarantine, I was
Speaker 1: taking naps at least two or three times because I
Speaker 1: was just so overwhelmed. But now I'm back to my
Speaker 1: daily So.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Now I don't take naps, but I do take
Speaker 4: breaks good, and I do talk to my mom and sister.
Speaker 4: We do lots of FaceTime with the abuelos. I do
Speaker 4: take breaks. I go outside. I walk the dog. Well
Speaker 4: that's not entirely true, but I go outside. Okay, since
Speaker 4: the quarantine. Do you cook at home or order out?
Speaker 2: Cook at home?
Speaker 1: And I'm not a big chefy cheffer upper, but I've
Speaker 1: been nervous about ordering out, so we cook at home
Speaker 1: large I would say ninety five percent home cooking.
Speaker 4: Same. I love to cook. I finally have energy to
Speaker 4: do it again now that the baby's sleeping longer, so
Speaker 4: I've been cooking. And we also still subscribe to Freshly,
Speaker 4: where we get meals delivered. Even though I'm kind of
Speaker 4: tired of it, It's so nice to have that backup
Speaker 4: in the fridge, just prepared meals that I can eat.
Speaker 4: Have you had to delete people from social media due
Speaker 4: to their excessive postings about the virus? No, I'm not
Speaker 4: on it that much to notice.
Speaker 1: I knew you did for sure. There's some people who
Speaker 1: I know they meet well, so I haven't had to.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to delete or block them, but I
Speaker 1: was like, I kind of don't want to hear from
Speaker 1: you right now. So I've definitely done a lot of muty.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's just do she has a lot. Okay, let's
Speaker 4: do like one or two more. What's the first thing
Speaker 4: you want to do once quarantine's been lifted, that's a
Speaker 4: good one.
Speaker 2: Ooh, I want to go visit my friend Rihanna. She
Speaker 2: lives around. We still see each other. I just like,
Speaker 2: I'll just be on her front porch.
Speaker 1: But I want to like go hang out with my
Speaker 1: friend Rihanna because she lives around the corner. She's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite bitty bob friends. It's a bitty bob
Speaker 1: so like her. Her husband calls us like old Biddy's
Speaker 1: and he's like, you guys are just like just you know,
Speaker 1: bopping around. He's like, look at y'all biddy Bob committee.
Speaker 1: I'm like, ooh, he made it as a little disc
Speaker 1: but we love it. I'm like, ooh, le's biddy bock today.
Speaker 4: But is she the one who did the the house?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're a new couple friends. It's great to find
Speaker 4: a couple of friends. Our couple friend just moved. It
Speaker 4: was sad they moved. They were next door and then
Speaker 4: they left. It's all right, let's see what do I
Speaker 4: want to do. I want to rent a restaurant out
Speaker 4: and have all my friends and family and have a
Speaker 4: big party for all the miss birthdays. And my mom's
Speaker 4: sixtieth birthday was a big one. My Dad's two, all
Speaker 4: the Mother's Day things, like all the anniversaries. I want
Speaker 4: a big ass party that lots of tacos and gua
Speaker 4: and Margarita's that. That's what I want to do and
Speaker 4: maybe we can like all chip in and pay for
Speaker 4: it together. I don't know. I just want to have
Speaker 4: I just want to have people, people people. Okay, let's
Speaker 4: do one more. Do you want to do music or
Speaker 4: shows that you're binging right now?
Speaker 1: Let's do music because I'm not watching any shows.
Speaker 4: Okay, neat to go.
Speaker 2: Music that I'm binging right now, and that's super binging.
Speaker 1: I've always been like a Drake fran So I been
Speaker 1: listen to that and when I get stressed out, INDI
Speaker 1: I reas my go to So I've been doing that,
Speaker 1: and well that's my brown boost. So I'll save that
Speaker 1: other music component for the brown boosts.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, let's see. I can't pretend like I know
Speaker 4: all about the music because it's just too much. I've
Speaker 4: been listening to show tunes, y'all, I did. I've blasted
Speaker 4: the Carousel album, which is not even a cool it's
Speaker 4: not even fun, not even Hamilton. I just listened to
Speaker 4: Broadway music. And me happy and the Elmos slide. If
Speaker 4: you know, you know, and if you don't, you never
Speaker 4: need to know. But it's a it's a it's a bop. Okay,
Speaker 4: Well that was fun. Thank you for the questions. I
Speaker 4: hope you guys are, you know, finding ways to relax
Speaker 4: out there in quarantine. And I did find that I'm
Speaker 4: sick of watching TV, so I bought a huge book
Speaker 4: that I had been reading for the past couple of
Speaker 4: weeks and it felt good to just read for some hours.
Speaker 4: So if you have any recommendations of what I can
Speaker 4: read next, I'm open to recommendations. And my my boost
Speaker 4: is related to that or my break is so I'll
Speaker 4: take another little break and come back for break or
Speaker 4: as Tiffany calls it, wins wins not wins.
Speaker 1: So now it's time to boost a break with all
Speaker 1: our family.
Speaker 2: Is you going to boost? Is she gonna break?
Speaker 4: What you're gonna do, Mandy, I'm gonna take a break.
Speaker 4: I'm going to take a break. So, speaking of books
Speaker 4: that I'm reading, this has been maybe it's just because
Speaker 4: the Pulitzers were announced recently, but I've had an awkward
Speaker 4: interaction with two people who are white recently. You know,
Speaker 4: I won't even say where I know them anyway. They're
Speaker 4: white and independent of each other. They have both when
Speaker 4: I have mentioned what I'm reading and that I like
Speaker 4: reading or whatever, or even unsolicited for the second one,
Speaker 4: they have both come to me and been like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, you have to read The Nickel Boys by
Speaker 4: Colson Whitehead. Oh my god, you have to read The
Speaker 4: Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead. Oh my god, one of
Speaker 4: them said. And we were talking about so Coulson Whitehead,
Speaker 4: you don't know. He's a Pulitzer Prize winning, two time
Speaker 4: Pulitzer Prize winning novelist, and he wrote The Underground Railroad,
Speaker 4: which was at Oprah's Book Club a couple of years ago,
Speaker 4: and he recently just won another Pulitzer for his book
Speaker 4: The Nickel Boys, which is about some truly, truly depressing story.
Speaker 4: It's a novel based on the true story of black
Speaker 4: boys who were buried outside of a school in Florida.
Speaker 4: And I forget all the details of that, but it
Speaker 4: just it's a very harrowing real life story that was
Speaker 4: turned into a novel. And he won the Pulitzer. But
Speaker 4: the way these people came to me to recommend it.
Speaker 4: The first one, for example, are talking about books, and
Speaker 4: she's going on and on about Colson Whitehead and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I haven't read you know that book and oh he
Speaker 4: wrote the end. Oh yeah, And I don't really know
Speaker 4: much about him. And she's like, oh my god, you
Speaker 4: have to read. I just I just love this genre.
Speaker 4: And I was like, well, what genre are you talking about?
Speaker 4: And she said, just I just love African American history,
Speaker 4: you know. And I it was it was a call
Speaker 4: where I just I just didn't know what to do
Speaker 4: and I didn't know what to say. And it's one
Speaker 4: of those things where you kind of just change a subject,
Speaker 4: but you replay in your mind what you should have said.
Speaker 4: But it just felt so it just felt icky. Made
Speaker 4: me feel icky, you know what I mean. And then
Speaker 4: it happened again today someone else, Ow, I just hit
Speaker 4: myself in the water bottle. It's fine. Someone else recommended
Speaker 4: the same author to me, and this time I was
Speaker 4: at least a little bit more prepared because they were
Speaker 4: going on about the Nickel Boys and I said, you know,
Speaker 4: it's actually really hard, that's it. And it's true because
Speaker 4: my friends and I we have a group text and
Speaker 4: we've all been talking about the fatigue of black bodies
Speaker 4: being destroyed, you know, and with the whole Amad Arbory thing,
Speaker 4: you know, which, on the one hand, I'm so glad
Speaker 4: that this has risen above the COVID coverage to get light.
Speaker 4: But on the other hand, it's just that fatigue, and
Speaker 4: it's like the it's that not exploitation, but the joy
Speaker 4: they're deriving from stories about African Americans being destroyed, and
Speaker 4: like the excitement they have. I just find it a
Speaker 4: little bit offensive. And to the person today, all I
Speaker 4: said was, you know, it's actually kind of hard me
Speaker 4: to watch to read stuff about that what happened to
Speaker 4: those boys in Florida, And I said, it's similar to
Speaker 4: like Superman Husby. Husby and I were trying to he
Speaker 4: turned on that documentary on HBO covering the Atlanta child murders,
Speaker 4: and I can't. I tried, and it's too hard for me.
Speaker 4: I just can't. I keep picturing my dad, who was
Speaker 4: like a teenager when all that was happening, who knew
Speaker 4: some of the boys who were murdered, and after hearing
Speaker 4: his stories, I just anyway, it's just a brown break
Speaker 4: from the really happy white person and wants to tell
Speaker 4: you about the book by the black author that you
Speaker 4: simply must read, especially the one who was like, I
Speaker 4: just love African American history. I'm like, oh, what's so
Speaker 4: fun about it for you? Isn't need buttruc. It's like
Speaker 4: I just love Tony Morrison and I'm like, cool, Like
Speaker 4: that's great. I'm gonna, you know, read something different, and
Speaker 4: it's fine.
Speaker 1: Yes, It's like when I met white boys and they're like,
Speaker 1: hey girl, and I'm like, you know, you can speak normally.
Speaker 2: It's so tiring, and I'm like I make it a point.
Speaker 1: To not engage.
Speaker 2: I'm like, hello, Thomas, how are you today, sister?
Speaker 1: I'm good, you know, with the neck go And I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, like I might keiky with my friends like that,
Speaker 1: but we're ne friends.
Speaker 4: Never moved to the South. Yeah, that's all that I've happened.
Speaker 1: I'm so annoyed.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that kind of stuff was offensive until
Speaker 4: I well, until I got educated. But that would I mean,
Speaker 4: that's just routine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You feel like if you're in a like I.
Speaker 2: Said, you know, from another from another sister.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, yes, hey girl, But like all of
Speaker 1: that I'm like, Tom, do you remember I asked one guy, like,
Speaker 1: do you talk to your other friends like that? It's
Speaker 1: just me.
Speaker 2: It was at a work in a workplace setting.
Speaker 1: He just kept doing that and he looks he got
Speaker 1: red in the face, and I said, yeah, exactly like
Speaker 1: you would never cut Yeah, you would never go up
Speaker 1: to Bob and do all of that. You talked to
Speaker 1: Bob normally. I'm a normal human being. You can speak
Speaker 1: to me normally. Thanks, Thanks, bye.
Speaker 4: And I wish I could say that in the moment.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it happens. Don't want to say that to Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 4: I feel like I love Kelly Clarkson, but sometimes she
Speaker 4: borders on Like I love her and I know she's sincere,
Speaker 4: but sometimes I'm like, can you stop? Like I know
Speaker 4: you're from.
Speaker 1: Texas, Like don't, don't do it, don't do it. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I've got a boost and a break. So the break
Speaker 1: is really short, but it's a little petty, and I
Speaker 1: was deciding gonna be petty, and then the boot is
Speaker 1: sucksually short too. I want to start with the break
Speaker 1: because that way the boost we can end in a
Speaker 1: light note. So this is the break is not like
Speaker 1: anything bad. But I rarely ever read comments. I rarely
Speaker 1: ever read reviews. I mean, I'm open to correction. I'm
Speaker 1: open to like people telling me how I could do better.
Speaker 1: I've been ten years in business, so I'm not super
Speaker 1: sensitive about like, heydev, could you Someone sent me the
Speaker 1: other day. I had done a video and she was like, hey,
Speaker 1: hey girl, I love you. I love what you're doing
Speaker 1: as a bujanista. You were I watched one of your
Speaker 1: videos and it was great. But if you could angle
Speaker 1: the camera down and then something she was telling me.
Speaker 1: But it was really great feedback. But I could see
Speaker 1: how some people would be offended because it's like, girl,
Speaker 1: I didn't ask you, but I thought it was great feedback.
Speaker 2: I said, thanks so much.
Speaker 1: Someone else hit me up before, and she like, I
Speaker 1: had a flyer that was out and my on my team,
Speaker 1: whoever had cut my image out to put on the
Speaker 1: flyer missed some part of my hair that still had
Speaker 1: like white in the background, and she like sent it
Speaker 1: to me literally circled that part. Was like, hey girl,
Speaker 1: I love you, but you know you want to represent
Speaker 1: your brands to the best of your ability. And I
Speaker 1: found this some people will be pissed, not me. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, thanks so much, send it to my team.
Speaker 1: So I say all that to say, I'm usually good
Speaker 1: with feedback, but I read a review recently and all
Speaker 1: I have to say, girl is uterus uterus, uterus, uterus uterus. Girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure you read that one. You try a girl?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: No, what the book?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No. Someone wrote me and said, girl, we tired of
Speaker 1: hearing about your uterus A whole woman, A whole woman.
Speaker 4: And I was like, so a listener of the podcast, yes,
Speaker 4: And I.
Speaker 1: Was like, so she has some other criticism, which I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I accepted. I could do better than that.
Speaker 1: I could do better. I'm honestly, like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: open for a correction and things an'll hurt my feelings anymore,
Speaker 1: because you know, you can't run a business for ten
Speaker 1: years and not hear feedback because you want to grow.
Speaker 1: But what I'm not going to do is loud, especially
Speaker 1: a woman. How you gonna tell me you tired to
Speaker 1: hear about my uterus even if you aren't, Which that
Speaker 1: is a fair critique, but.
Speaker 4: Last show isn't called brown y.
Speaker 1: But I just felt like there's just a level of
Speaker 1: kindness that you can extend.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not talking about my sex life.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about my vagina like I'm sharing that,
Speaker 1: you know, like I've had two miscarriagters in the last
Speaker 1: two years and about fifteen different surgeries. Every time you
Speaker 1: go onto surgery, they let you know there's no guarantee
Speaker 1: you're gonna wake up, Like it's been a Harry experience,
Speaker 1: and I'm sharing that, and then too, so many women
Speaker 1: hit me up and they've shared their experience with how
Speaker 1: hard it's been for them. And so when I read that,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna lie, Maddie. I cried
Speaker 1: because it's been a hard week. And I cried, and
Speaker 1: I was just like and then I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: it wasn't It wasn't just for that.
Speaker 4: It was just always want to hear about your ut.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I say all that to say, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna remember how we used to have the inside joke
Speaker 1: about Jermaine or no Jerome, like the one.
Speaker 4: Who knows what his name is anymore, Yes, the one listener.
Speaker 1: And so just so you know, girl, every once in
Speaker 1: a while, me and Made will be talking and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say, yeah, I went outside today, Uterus.
Speaker 2: It's for usiss, it's for you. That's the battle.
Speaker 4: So I don't know what maybe happened in her life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just thought that, like it's just unnecessary. It's
Speaker 1: like I said, you could give feedback without being mean anyway,
Speaker 1: round boosting though. I don't know if you caught the
Speaker 1: Jill Scott and Erika I do versus battle, well, not
Speaker 1: even a battle, it was a blessing.
Speaker 2: What No, it was amazing.
Speaker 1: So you know they're doing like well, if you haven't
Speaker 1: done social they it's mostly Timbaland and what's his face
Speaker 1: on twitch speed? So I forget who the first battle
Speaker 1: was against, but it's because you know, all the musicians
Speaker 1: are home, so they've just tried to find musicians that
Speaker 1: are in a similar asque I guess genre to kind
Speaker 1: of battle against each other where they just basically play
Speaker 1: up each other's songs. Like So the last one before
Speaker 1: this was Babyface and Teddy Riley. So you know they're
Speaker 1: both really prolific, right, I mean, I swear no words,
Speaker 1: they're both amazing all the time. They're both amazing producers, right,
Speaker 1: And so it was it was funny because Teddy Riley
Speaker 1: couldn't get his sound together. But the one with Jill
Speaker 1: Scott and Erica ba Do it was so it felt
Speaker 1: like a big Mama hug. It was available on Can
Speaker 1: I still watch it Instagram? Lives be disappearing, you know itspear,
Speaker 1: it is disappearing.
Speaker 4: But it was just I'm sure someone saved it. So
Speaker 4: they perform each other's songs.
Speaker 2: No, they played, they played, They played their own songs.
Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, like hey, so like.
Speaker 1: You remember like a Long Walk by Jill Scott and
Speaker 1: then Erica bad On and on. It was just I
Speaker 1: felt like the nineties all over again. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1: Like I said, literally when I tell you that there
Speaker 1: was a collective sigh of black and brown girl relief
Speaker 1: that because most of the time it's like a battle to.
Speaker 2: See who won.
Speaker 1: But the way they were speaking to each other, it
Speaker 1: was a love fest.
Speaker 2: It was hay sis.
Speaker 1: It was just it was beautiful, honestly, And it was
Speaker 1: so strange because it was right the day before, you know,
Speaker 1: so many of us walked or ran and you know,
Speaker 1: to celebrate Ahmad's the young man that was killed in Georgia,
Speaker 1: murdered in Georgia the day before they walked for his birthday,
Speaker 1: and so to have this was just like the like
Speaker 1: the bomb that our souls needed. And so just to
Speaker 1: see the feedback afterward and everybody posting saying thank you
Speaker 1: so much, it was just almost every woman was like, yo,
Speaker 1: I cried, I cried and you didn't. Really it was
Speaker 1: just a release that we needed. So I just thought
Speaker 1: that was beautiful and how music truly can heal. And
Speaker 1: so shout out to Jill Scott and Kabadu if you
Speaker 1: missed the versus battle, it was great. The next one
Speaker 1: up is Luda versus Nelly, so fine, who got your
Speaker 1: money on Luda and.
Speaker 4: Nelly Swish Switch? I just I need this hole on
Speaker 4: a second. I need to remember all the lyrics too.
Speaker 4: To Nelly's is.
Speaker 1: It apple bottoms, Apple bottom?
Speaker 4: This was like the song and you know how like
Speaker 4: I'm like, how was I singing this in science class?
Speaker 4: Like the eighth grade? But it was the soundtrack of
Speaker 4: my life. Nelly was, ooh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Good for him.
Speaker 4: Where has he been anyway?
Speaker 1: I know, I mean I don't know, maybe he might
Speaker 1: still produce and things, but it should be fun, like
Speaker 1: you know. So, yeah, the verses just fun because you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it just you get to relive your
Speaker 1: childhood and you know, an elementary and high schoolhood. So yeah,
Speaker 1: like I said, Brown Boost, Jill Erica, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: and uterus listen.
Speaker 4: I can't think of something that's more on topic with
Speaker 4: the with the theme of our show, which is career
Speaker 4: and finance, than how a woman's reproduction factors into her
Speaker 4: career planning. Because if you're a woman, even if you
Speaker 4: choose not to have children, it's a choice, right, it is.
Speaker 4: It's the thought that you have to have. And I
Speaker 4: think that you're incredibly brave and open and generous to
Speaker 4: share that window into your reality. And I wouldn't have
Speaker 4: it any other way.
Speaker 1: Thanks Manda.
Speaker 4: But you know, I'm also the kind of person who
Speaker 4: will watch documentaries on gas doctor pimple Popper. So when
Speaker 4: you talk.
Speaker 1: About I love I love Doctor piple Popper, I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. What is it?
Speaker 2: I don't disgust.
Speaker 4: It's like when I get the nice, juicy boogers out
Speaker 4: of Rio's nose and I'm like, who am I? What
Speaker 4: is it about me that enjoys this?
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I just was like I watch,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is her name? The doctor? I get it?
Speaker 2: Forget her name?
Speaker 4: And who knows doctor pimple pop.
Speaker 1: I'm get it, girl, yes, get it.
Speaker 4: And when it's not that exciting, I'm like.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I climbacted.
Speaker 1: The best is when it's one that you're like, you
Speaker 1: don't think it's much, and then it's everything you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I.
Speaker 4: Think I need a cigarette. Yes, well this was restorative
Speaker 4: for me.
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Is that how you pronounce that word? It's one of
Speaker 4: those words I can I'm saying restorative. Is it restorative
Speaker 4: or restorative?
Speaker 2: I don't don't know. Look, I couldn't remember.
Speaker 4: Pro prolific producer.
Speaker 1: I know, look it's gone, but yes, no, this has been.
Speaker 1: This is I mean, it's always on, like awesome to
Speaker 1: come on. I'm glad that we're able to stay consistent.
Speaker 1: If y'all only knew, right, we tape round like when
Speaker 1: is real sleep? Okay, we could tape now like it's
Speaker 1: it's never the same time, the same day, and we
Speaker 1: make it work and we come here and we enjoy
Speaker 1: like each other and enjoy y'all, So just you know,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for walking out with us, continuously.
Speaker 4: We love being here, and thank you for making it
Speaker 4: so we don't have to apologize for my insane You
Speaker 4: know the fact that I don't even have a schedule anymore.
Speaker 4: I have the time in between napps and that's all
Speaker 4: I have. And thank you, Tiffany, No, of course, thank
Speaker 4: you guys for listening, and we will see you next week,
Speaker 4: next week, next week. You can at least count on us.
Speaker 2: Call me with me, kid me, we shouldn't, we should do.
Speaker 2: That's not our way out.
Speaker 4: Count on I me. I need to watch Waiting to Exhale.
Speaker 4: That is what needs to happen. It's not even in
Speaker 4: that movie, because it was right, okay, all right. It
Speaker 4: just came to me and I was like, wait, is
Speaker 4: that right? And I think also there's an episode of
Speaker 4: Sister Sister when inexplicably they performed that song and.
Speaker 2: Leave my friends alone.
Speaker 1: I love, I can't leave.
Speaker 4: Al right, we need to go and insanity bye to
Speaker 4: take care of