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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back, We're black, We're growing insane.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Mantra, how are you?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: Thank you for asking? Not great, not great, great, but

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Speaker 3: not great. I just I think everyone has their I'm

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Speaker 3: just feeling loopy, but in a good way. I think

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Speaker 3: my two months it's been over two months in quarantine

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Speaker 3: for us, and I feel like I'm at the point

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Speaker 3: now where the adrenaline has stuffed, Like the adrenaline that

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Speaker 3: was getting me through those you know, especially because I

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Speaker 3: manage your team and you won't be strong for your team,

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Speaker 3: and just like the adrenaline of checking in with them

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Speaker 3: in order equipment that they might need and making for

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Speaker 3: the team is still putting out your work.

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Speaker 4: And all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: We're good now, and I just sort of like had

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Speaker 3: the realization this week that this is going to be

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Speaker 3: this isn't going to be it for a while, Like

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Speaker 3: I need to pace myself. I feel like I gave

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Speaker 3: the last two months so much of my energy and

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Speaker 3: I was just so defleted, and I took yesterday off.

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Speaker 3: I took it off. I was I just can't. And

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Speaker 3: I wonder who else is out there feeling that way.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I went way too hard, was

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Speaker 3: way too od my game the first two months, and

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Speaker 3: now I'm just it's catching up to me and I

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Speaker 3: just feel just like loopy and ineffective at all the

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Speaker 3: things I'm trying to do, whether it's work, parenting. I

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Speaker 3: just you know, it's like I don't feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: being very good at anything. But my therapist that that's okay.

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Speaker 3: She was like, gave us a white girl, and I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: but it's hard. So that's that's what's happening in my world.

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Speaker 5: How are you?

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Speaker 1: I am good? Did I tell you that I got

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Speaker 1: my house appraised? And I was like, I feel like

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Speaker 1: our blackness played a role.

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Speaker 4: Wait, why would they know your race?

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Speaker 1: Well, because we had to open the damn door for them,

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Speaker 1: because you know, so here was I'd read this article

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Speaker 1: that you know that there is a racial bias cost

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Speaker 1: when it comes to homes and black folks own homes.

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Speaker 1: That's that when appraisers come, there's this unconscious and sometimes

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Speaker 1: maybe conscious bias that black homes are just not worth

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Speaker 1: as much.

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Speaker 2: They've done all these research and study.

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Speaker 1: You guys can do your googles and read the New

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Speaker 1: York Times and what they found or homes that were.

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Speaker 2: In similar neighborhoods.

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Speaker 1: All things being equal, there's a lot of money lost

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Speaker 1: when that happens.

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Speaker 2: Like I think it was like in two thousand.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at CNN, Like in twenty eighteen, they said

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Speaker 1: homeowners lost one hundred and fifty six billion dollars by

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Speaker 1: living in black neighborhoods. Right, So anyway, I just felt

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Speaker 1: like I had my home like semi appraised by like

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Speaker 1: a like a realtor that was real looking to sell,

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Speaker 1: and the amount that she said that, like, if I

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Speaker 1: was going to listen, I'd listed for this because there

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Speaker 1: were just two homes in your area that just sold

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Speaker 1: for literally this week, that just sold for like six

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars. And although your house is not as big,

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Speaker 1: it has these other things that it didn't have, you know,

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Speaker 1: basically doing all the things.

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Speaker 3: Are you thinking of selling it? Is that why?

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Speaker 5: Well?

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Speaker 1: I wanted to get appraisal because I wanted you know,

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Speaker 1: our home is paid off, but I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: I felt like having all of this equity sitting in

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Speaker 1: the house, I would rather put the money to work,

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Speaker 1: And so I wanted to pull out maybe like two hundred,

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Speaker 1: two hundred fifty thousand dollars and either purchased another rental property,

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Speaker 1: invest do something I wanted. That's why I I wanted

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Speaker 1: to my husband and I talked about it. We talked

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Speaker 1: about with our CFP, and she was actually shocked because

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Speaker 1: she knows how anti debt I am. But because I

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Speaker 1: have enough money saved that if I wanted to just

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Speaker 1: pay off the house again tomorrow, if I felt freaked out,

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Speaker 1: I could, so she was like, Okay, yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: typically I think it's a wise move, but I just

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Speaker 1: know you and debt.

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Speaker 2: You're sure you're gonna be a good girl, but I am.

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Speaker 1: Our mortgage is actually not going to be that much,

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Speaker 1: about twelve hundred dollars. So because we're moving into these

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Speaker 1: you know these times, I said, huh, you know, there

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Speaker 1: might be a home that would be you know, we

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Speaker 1: might be able to buy investment property that would be

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Speaker 1: on sale. We might be able to up our I

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Speaker 1: have a goal of being fully financially free it within

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Speaker 1: the next ten years, and I know how much I

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Speaker 1: need to put aside for that, so it would contribute

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Speaker 1: to that as well. And you know, we have the

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Speaker 1: investment property, the ten thousand dollars property that we're we're renovating.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, So anyway, the guys were really nice and

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Speaker 1: if you know our house, it's tricked out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we did all the things.

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Speaker 1: Like we live in an older neighborhood and I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about old people. I'm talking about older neighborhood like that

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Speaker 1: that the houses are all built in the nineteen twenties,

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Speaker 1: nineteen ten so and oftentimes a lot of these houses

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Speaker 1: they don't have AC, they don't have updating plumbing. We

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Speaker 1: have all of that. Like when we moved in, we

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Speaker 1: have all new electric. We have AC units, these beautiful

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Speaker 1: picture frame units in every single bedroom. We have like,

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Speaker 1: like I said, all new electrical. We also did insulation

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Speaker 1: throughout the whole house. So all of these extras. So

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Speaker 1: I was like, eh, what I got a praised for

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Speaker 1: was about to me twenty five about twenty five thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars less than what I thought it was going to

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Speaker 1: be a praise for. So I was kind of like,

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Speaker 1: I turned around all our black pictures though to so

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Speaker 1: but I was like, you know, me and black Drew,

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Speaker 1: my husband, we were in there, so it wasn't I

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Speaker 1: honestly had the I we said to myself, if I

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Speaker 1: was ever going to sell my house. That was going

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Speaker 1: to take down all the black things, and then I

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Speaker 1: was going to have my one white friend, Catherine, like

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Speaker 1: be there for the appraisal.

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Speaker 4: You're my friend, but I have a budget, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not the same that you even have to

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Speaker 1: because I don't even know, you don't know for sure.

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Speaker 1: There's that player role. I mean it does play a role,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean to play the role with them.

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Speaker 1: But to me, I would hedge my bets. That was

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Speaker 1: always my plan. So I'm not too pissed, only because

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Speaker 1: we're not looking to sell. We were just looking to

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Speaker 1: pull out some money. So yeah, that was just like

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Speaker 1: I just remember thinking that, like, huh did we not

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Speaker 1: get that the amount that I thought because we're black,

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Speaker 1: Because I mean they kept saying, amazing house, beautiful house.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: I mean every into this place is renovated.

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Speaker 4: So I was just like, I wonder, I mean, it'd

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Speaker 4: be really, it would be so hard to tell. You

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Speaker 4: would need to create a similar situation with the white owner,

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Speaker 4: similar respect to that, you know, similar neighborhood like all that.

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Speaker 4: But no, I have no doubt that that happens. And

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Speaker 4: it's quite sad. What about getting a second or third opinion.

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Speaker 4: I know that appraisals cost money, but.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well no, only the only reason why I didn't push.

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Speaker 2: If we were looking to sell.

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Speaker 1: Then yes, absolutely, But because we're looking to pull money out,

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Speaker 1: we're when we're looking to sell, we're going to get

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Speaker 1: another appraisal anyway.

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Speaker 2: So I was just like, eh, we're not.

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Speaker 4: Even when you're talking about a home equity alone.

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Speaker 1: No, because we're not. This is literally a refinance. They

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Speaker 1: call it a refinance cash.

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Speaker 4: Out, Oh, cash out refinance. Yeah, sorry, I must have

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Speaker 4: been looking at my notes when you said that cash

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Speaker 4: out refund, so that's when you mm hmmm, I got it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but still they would do their own appraisal. I think

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Speaker 4: the Wonderwood exactly everything so review.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's why I said I'm not worried about

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Speaker 1: it for now. But it's just kind of like mental note.

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Speaker 1: You're right, you totally need to get Catherine open the

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Speaker 1: door next time, you know.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I mean that's sad, and it's also something

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Speaker 4: that's sort of out of your control, especially like when

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Speaker 4: I was when we did when we got our house

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Speaker 4: approved appraisal. We live our neighborhood is I call it

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Speaker 4: a diamond in the rough because it is. And one

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Speaker 4: of the things that appealed to me, it's so funny

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Speaker 4: that you said you would take all the you know,

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Speaker 4: black things out of your house, the picture frames and

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Speaker 4: the whatever could let lead people to believe, you know,

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Speaker 4: which is so just ridiculous to me anyway, that it

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Speaker 4: was owned by, you know, a black family. But that

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Speaker 4: was one of the things that I liked about this house,

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Speaker 4: in this neighborhood is that I could just see I

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Speaker 4: don't think it's legal for real estate agents to tell

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Speaker 4: you this, but I could see neighborhoo. It was really diverse,

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Speaker 4: especially for the area of the Burbs where we live.

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Speaker 4: It's not that common. And I had my own perceptions

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Speaker 4: about what happens when you go thirty minutes out of

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Speaker 4: New York City. I had my own stereotypes of what

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Speaker 4: kind of people live there. And we did find a

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Speaker 4: really diverse neighborhood. And I'll never forget when I walked

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Speaker 4: into the kitchen, I just I could feel it was

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Speaker 4: a black family. Like I just it just felt like

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Speaker 4: my aunt Brenda's house, you know, it just and she

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Speaker 4: had this this like Maya. This man and woman like

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Speaker 4: salt pepper shakers, but they were they were African American

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Speaker 4: salt pepper shakers, and I was like, this is so

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Speaker 4: cute and it just felt like a good fan. I

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Speaker 4: don't know, but you're right, it could totally work against

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Speaker 4: you the other way. And there's so much that goes

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Speaker 4: sadly along with majority minority neighborhoods that is not you know,

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Speaker 4: is not the fault of the people who live there

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Speaker 4: at all, but you know, tend to have lower uh

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Speaker 4: not the best school districts, and you know, lower income,

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Speaker 4: which feeds into property taxes, which feeds into public services,

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Speaker 4: which you know, it just like is a self fulfilling

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Speaker 4: prophecy that that's not going to be an ideal place,

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Speaker 4: but you know it's a dam Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Because we considered it, because I was like, okay, so

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Speaker 1: once we reach a certain level of income, we were

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Speaker 1: talking about do we do we move? Do we move

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Speaker 1: like super suburb? And I considered it because there's some

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Speaker 1: other there's like Montclair. I don't know if you've heard

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Speaker 1: of Montclair before.

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Speaker 4: It's like, oh, we oh, we looked at Montclair. Girl

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Speaker 4: too expensive a.

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Speaker 1: Girl it is, oh and it's super super funcy, and

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Speaker 1: I was just like, but there's something to be said,

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Speaker 1: Like I take a walk every day now, just something

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Speaker 1: to be said is the neighborhood. It's I mean, we

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Speaker 1: have a mix here as well, so you get lots

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Speaker 1: of black families, lots of Hispanic families, we have some

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Speaker 1: white families.

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Speaker 2: So there's something to be.

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Speaker 1: Said to walk in my hoodie and my sweats and

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Speaker 1: people not clutch their bag and stuff.

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Speaker 4: You know, there's everything to get said about it. It's sad. Truth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, I can live.

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Speaker 1: I could see me and Superman moving to like this

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Speaker 1: Montclair or some of these other places. But the truth

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Speaker 1: is he's six six and like two shades lighter than

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Speaker 1: Jet Black. And I don't want him to feel uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Or like I don't. We

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Speaker 1: don't have to think about it here, like this is Newark,

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Speaker 1: it's New k it's largely a black city, and then

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Speaker 1: we have like a large Hispanic and Portuguese population, and

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Speaker 1: so you know, you can just be here and be black.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't have to think about it, like if he

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Speaker 1: comes home at night, it's not the clutching of my pearls.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, well, for the most part, we're black

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Speaker 1: around here, so okay. So I just was thinking. I

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Speaker 1: was thinking that the other day because I was kind

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Speaker 1: of like making a list of like okay, well, Tiffany,

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Speaker 1: as you're making.

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Speaker 2: More and you're doing better, like, well, what do you want?

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I think I want a

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Speaker 1: different house because I don't want to be on the

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Speaker 1: third floor when I'm fifty.

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Speaker 2: We have a nice third fourth suitep but my knees girl, right,

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Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, where would you get it? Oh,

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Speaker 2: maybe Montclair or.

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Speaker 1: Maybe these other places. And I was like, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: is that really where you? Like there's a beauty Coulpon

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Speaker 1: probably find a beautiful house here because there's just a

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Speaker 1: certain level of, you know, being in a neighborhood where

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Speaker 1: folks look like you and you.

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Speaker 2: Can at least boossa Like.

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Speaker 1: I love the fact that, like we live next to

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Speaker 1: a Dominican family, and I just love like we go

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Speaker 1: outside and if it's barbecue time, they're playing in music

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Speaker 1: and they're like, mommy, you want anything. And it's not

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Speaker 1: the sense of like, oh, y'all playing music, because then

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Speaker 1: when it's our party and Drel's playing hip hop.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Not that.

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Speaker 4: There's no Karen's next door, yes exactly.

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Speaker 2: Because well we do have a Karen across the street.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, but she came for the whole food.

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Speaker 2: What I mean, Well, it's actually not Karen.

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Speaker 1: I guess it's a literally well I'm not gonna say

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Speaker 1: his name because actually his name starts with the K.

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Speaker 1: But he one day came to our house, Keith, aggressively

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Speaker 1: because someone had parked up and their bumper was blocking

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Speaker 1: his driveway, and so he rang our doorbell right right right,

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Speaker 1: I'm singing him on the ring. I wasn't even home,

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Speaker 1: and so he's like, someone bumpers dropping, you know, blocking

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Speaker 1: my driveway. I scraped my Mercedes trying to get in.

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Speaker 1: So one I was like, that seems odd because who

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Speaker 1: would scrape their own car trying to get in? Why

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Speaker 1: not just find the person first and.

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Speaker 4: Love how we had to drop the name of the

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Speaker 4: car too, That was understanding, yes.

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Speaker 1: And so it turned out it was my husband's twin brother,

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Speaker 1: and so I mean we know them across the street.

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Speaker 1: I mean we were fairly friendly. He was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: your car is blocking my driveway he's like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. He's like, where you're going. He's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to decide to get the keys so I

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Speaker 1: can move my car. He's like okay, So he waits

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Speaker 1: for him and then starts berating him, don't ever do

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Speaker 1: this again. And meanwhile, my husbands twin they're twin twins,

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Speaker 1: so he's six six as well. He's like, okay, I

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Speaker 1: heard you. I'm sorry I scraped my car. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: don't be sorry, be careful. And he was like wow, yes.

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Speaker 1: So he was like, all right, man, I hear you.

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Speaker 1: And so I guess it wasn't enough.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe he was drunk. He kicked his car.

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Speaker 4: Oh god, yes?

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Speaker 1: And then so and then to his credit, my twin

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Speaker 1: did not do anything. He just said come on man.

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Speaker 1: And then the dude puts his fists up and says,

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Speaker 1: let's go.

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Speaker 4: So this is on your ring, Please tell me the ring?

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Speaker 4: Oh fabulous, Well you can you have evidence? You know?

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Speaker 4: For those What a damn shame, isn't it. You need

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Speaker 4: a camera these days.

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Speaker 1: But I'm so glad because something that he did is

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't speak to them anymore because I

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Speaker 1: could have forgiven all of that. So luckily, because you know,

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Speaker 1: like he's a small white man. Twin was just like,

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Speaker 1: all right, man, it just goes across street while he's

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Speaker 1: being yelled at and cursed at whatever and just come

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Speaker 1: back in the house. So I'm watching, and so I

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Speaker 1: hear him tell his partner partner, call the police, Call

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Speaker 1: the police. That's when I was like, oh yes, That's

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Speaker 1: when I was like wow. And so my sister happened

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Speaker 1: to be at my house and she's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I heard yelling outside, and so I was in I

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Speaker 1: was actually in California taping the reel. So I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: let me look at my ring and I saw all

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Speaker 1: of that, and I was like, wow, call the police.

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Speaker 4: Actually, so this wasn't I thought this happened like this week.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, this happened like a little while ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it just happened to thinking because you said like like,

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Speaker 1: I don't live next Tony Karens, And I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: live next door Ken though, and so yeah, so I

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Speaker 1: told my husband because he the guy across the street,

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Speaker 1: ended up calling my husband to say, your brother was

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Speaker 1: so this, you know, trying to cop police and I

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Speaker 1: just told Superman, just send him the ring videos one

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Speaker 1: by one. It was four collectively, send him each one

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Speaker 1: and don't say anything. All of a sudden, you know,

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Speaker 1: his tune change.

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed of my behavior. You weren't

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Speaker 2: ashamed until we had you on video.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So we just keep it as insurance. So if they

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Speaker 1: you know, you want to get you want to act up,

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Speaker 1: you can get smacked up. So we we I never

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Speaker 1: we never get it. We didn't call the police, we

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Speaker 1: did anything. I just keep it with me. We keep

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Speaker 1: it saved. So if you know, if ever anything, it's

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Speaker 1: cause we can be like, well, actually let me show

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Speaker 1: you how you behave so you just gotta be mindful.

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Speaker 1: That's why I was like, do I really want to

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Speaker 1: live in Montclaire?

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Speaker 4: M m, well, you know side note mark, Montclair is

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Speaker 4: supposed to be the biracial capital I've heard, but it's

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Speaker 4: I would have my people racially confused people. But for

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Speaker 4: that reason alone, like, no, I get it, you want

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Speaker 4: and I'm the same way, or you know we are

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Speaker 4: that well, we're the Dominican you know, racially ambiguous family

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Speaker 4: next door. Yes we are, but we have plenty of

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Speaker 4: lovely neighbors. Goodness gracious. Yeah, and I feel like in

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Speaker 4: this time, you want to feel like you have good

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Speaker 4: neighbors because they're all b C. And our neighbor's next door,

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Speaker 4: you know, the little kiddie walks our dog, he's so sweet,

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Speaker 4: and then his his mom and dad. You know, we've

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Speaker 4: we took them a little Easter arrangement because I don't know,

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Speaker 4: I just felt like I wanted to see some flowers,

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Speaker 4: and so I got some flowers for them, and then

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Speaker 4: they brought us a Mother's Day gift, brought me a

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Speaker 4: Mother's Day gift over, and then my neighbor across the street, Paulette,

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Speaker 4: is always texting me, and anyway, it feels like we

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Speaker 4: have this cute little I don't know, I just I

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Speaker 4: feel more than ever like I want to reach out

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Speaker 4: to these people and just say, hey, we're here, and

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Speaker 4: we are you know, nice people, and how are you?

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Speaker 4: And have some because they're the only people we can

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Speaker 4: see in person, you know, And it sucks. I know,

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Speaker 4: I said I was going a little bit loopy, but legitimately,

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Speaker 4: when I do my one on ones now with people

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Speaker 4: on my team, the ones who were living in studio,

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Speaker 4: apartments or living on alone wherever they are, they're the

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Speaker 4: ones really struggling, and I try and check in with

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Speaker 4: them more often than not, and they're all kind of

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Speaker 4: feeling the fatigue of just not we just we need

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Speaker 4: physical connection, social connection to people, and a lot of it,

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Speaker 4: doesn't it feel. I mean, I don't know what's happening

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Speaker 4: on your world, but I just feel like over here

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Speaker 4: it's starting to get to people. And I'm not even

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Speaker 4: near a breaking point, you know, I thank god. I

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Speaker 4: still I still talk to my therapist once a week.

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Speaker 4: I still have the anti anxiety meds that I started

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Speaker 4: long before this all happened, not long before before. It

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Speaker 4: was a good time. I'm just saying, if it wasn't

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Speaker 4: going to be the post part of anxiety that was

375
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Speaker 4: gonna get me, it was probably gonna be the pandemic anxiety.

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Speaker 4: But I got my little Zola prescriptions on time, and

377
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Speaker 4: you know, I'm just doing something. But it's the unknown.

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Speaker 4: It's like how long does this lasts? And it's so

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00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 4: anyway I feel, and all the anxiety. I was gonna say,

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Speaker 4: if this happened that week with your neighbor, you almost

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Speaker 4: wonder is it just people going nuts. You know, before

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Speaker 4: he sounds, he sounds next levels delightful. Makes me so mad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm actually proud, Like I just I was like, Yo,

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Speaker 1: you're better than me. Bro. I'm not even violent. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I would at least pushed him when he

386
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Speaker 1: kicked my car. But yeah, so this.

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Speaker 2: Is random but not random. Did you see there's like

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Speaker 2: this big Well.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how often you're on Twitter, but black

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Speaker 1: Twitter right now is dragging a particular influencer. Because no, thankfully,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say her name just because I feel

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Speaker 1: like I don't think that that's part of the point.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's a good teachable lesson, not about

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Speaker 1: the influencer. But so someone reached out to her to

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Speaker 1: be their mentor and she sent them a letter like

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Speaker 1: the The letter seemed like it was really nice. It

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm eager to connect with another

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Speaker 1: black woman who's doing the dagone thing.

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Speaker 2: I too, am like a mom.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you get this alive and you have a

401
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 1: lot going on with your family, but I figure we're

402
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 1: both quarantining so you might have some time. Honestly, I

403
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 1: thought the letter was nice, but she wrote back say like,

404
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 1: thank you so much for reaching out. And typically when

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Speaker 1: someone inquires about me being their mentor, either one lead

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Speaker 1: with offering relevant value as well as asking for guidance

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Speaker 1: or in a way that it could be a two

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Speaker 1: way street, or get approached me with the take take, take, take,

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Speaker 1: mindset telling me what they need from me with no

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00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,239
Speaker 1: intention of reciprocity. Every sentence in your email and their

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Speaker 1: email starts with I, this seems like number two. I

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Speaker 1: was like, like that. I was like, so I thought

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Speaker 1: in lieu of that not to drive the influencer because

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Speaker 1: she has since apologize and realized, like, you know, that

415
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Speaker 1: was not the way, because I guess what made it

416
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Speaker 1: really bad is that she shared it to social So

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Speaker 1: it wasn't.

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Speaker 4: Like I was gonna say, how did this come out?

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Speaker 1: The influencer shared it herself, said hey, look someone reached

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Speaker 1: out to me to be my mentor.

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Speaker 2: Isn't this crazy?

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Speaker 1: This was my response to them, So I just thought

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Speaker 1: it would may be good for us, because I'm sure

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Speaker 1: people have reached out to ask you to be their mentor.

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Speaker 1: I know they've asked me, like you know, many people,

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Speaker 1: and then I've also reached out to people to ask

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Speaker 1: to be people's mentors and just maybe like sharing when

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Speaker 1: someone like when someone reaches out to you, what's your

429
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 1: typical response and how do you typically reach out? I

430
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 1: think that's would be good for us to share because

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Speaker 1: I don't know that there's to me, there's no one

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Speaker 1: good way to find a mentor, because that's a question

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Speaker 1: I think people ask me a lot, how do I

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Speaker 1: find a mentor? Yeah?

435
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 4: I love being a mentor. I am almost more into

436
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,359
Speaker 4: it than the person who asked me. And I feel

437
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 4: like I come on too strong, and it's funny that

438
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 4: it's true. I'm like, oh my god, I can't wait

439
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 4: to tell you about this and that, and please ask

440
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 4: me about this and that. But because I know how

441
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 4: hungry I was for that kind of information. But I

442
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 4: don't know if it's the youth today or what. But

443
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 4: the last couple of mentees I've had, I actually participate

444
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 4: through my alma mater's official mentor program, which is kind

445
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,400
Speaker 4: of like it's an online dating site almost where they

446
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 4: can pick their mentor based on you have a profile

447
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 4: picture and your stats and your whatever, and they can

448
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 4: pick you and you get to see them and what

449
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 4: they're you know, if swipe left on you or whatever

450
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 4: the right direction is these days. If they select you

451
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 4: that you get to see their profile and you can

452
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 4: if you have a match, then you're their mentor for

453
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 4: the half semester or whatever it is. I get annoyed

454
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 4: by when they don't follow up with me, like I spent.

455
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: I took time with the last mentee I had, and

456
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 4: I spent real time. Not only that, but I worked

457
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 4: at one of the digital I worked at Business Insider,

458
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 4: and a lot of people who were coming into journalism

459
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 4: and they often talk to me because they want to

460
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 4: get into business journalism, and when they see that I

461
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 4: worked at BI, often they'll ask me if I know

462
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 4: anything about internships or if I can put in a

463
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 4: good word for them. And I have been a feeder

464
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 4: somewhat of recruits to BI since I left, because I'm

465
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,120
Speaker 4: the same recruiter. Is still the head of HR there

466
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 4: and we have a good connection and I feel like

467
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 4: I can reach out to her and refer her, but

468
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 4: I don't do that lightly. And anyhow, this meante I

469
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,719
Speaker 4: spent maybe an hour on the phone with her, and

470
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 4: then the next call she canceled, like five minutes before.

471
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 4: And meanwhile, this is when I am in quarantine with

472
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 4: a baby end of work schedule, and for me to

473
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 4: actually make this call work. I had just bent over

474
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 4: backwards to make sure this was taken care of and

475
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 4: that was taken care of, and then she bailed and

476
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 4: then didn't send a follow up, and I just it

477
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 4: didn't feel respectful of my time, and I was feel

478
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 4: and I kind of my feeling's hurt because I genuinely

479
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 4: do want to help people. And I feel like now

480
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 4: more than ever, people who are out there on the

481
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 4: cusp of graduation or even just on the cusp of

482
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 4: losing their job and need career advice, I have that

483
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 4: advice to offer because I did go through a recession

484
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 4: and lost my job and bounce back and all that,

485
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 4: And so that's what's on my heart right now, just

486
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 4: that experience. And if you don't know, and don't think,

487
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 4: maybe this person's thinking, well, she doesn't care about me,

488
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,479
Speaker 4: what's the big deal. I'm just some you know, student,

489
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 4: she has other things going on. Who cares? She won't

490
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 4: mind if I just cancel this, But you I hope

491
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 4: the other person does care. I mean, it's it's a

492
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 4: sign of respect for their time that you would follow

493
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 4: ups and do notice take notes, you know, that kind

494
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 4: of thing, and it's kind of a bummer when that

495
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 4: doesn't happen.

496
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 5: And so like I to me, it's a mix between

497
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 5: like because sometimes people will will a lot of people

498
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 5: just message me and say, hey, Tiffany, I'd love to

499
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 5: like talk to you about like how you got started

500
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 5: doing what you're doing, and so to me, they're not

501
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 5: necessarily looking for like mentorship.

502
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: So I have about three actually mentees that I check

503
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: in with regularly, but sometimes people just want to jump

504
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 1: on the phone. And if I have the I would

505
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: say a good eighty percent. If you're a woman, there's

506
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: a good ninety percent chance. If you're like, well, I'll

507
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 1: say it's eighty percent chance. If you're a woman, ninety

508
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 1: percent chance, if you're a black woman, ninety five percent chance.

509
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 1: If you're a student, like, it's very I don't think

510
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: I've ever said no to a student, just because I

511
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: just remember like not knowing anything and how much guidance

512
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: I needed.

513
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 2: But because sometimes the.

514
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: Only times I say no is if I really think

515
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 1: that it's not a fit or like sometimes some people

516
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 1: are asking me things that I'm like, oh, well, here,

517
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 1: this is a blog post that'll be fine or something

518
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: that I wrote, But most times I say yes because

519
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: you know, one I like to pour back in. I

520
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: mean literally, as the budgetista I'm teach, so you can't

521
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 1: get me to shut up. But typically those people are

522
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: actually not looking for long term mentorship. Even though I

523
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: leave the door open so I might talk to someone,

524
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: we might talk for an hour or so. And so

525
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 1: if I have ever said no, and I'm not talking

526
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: about like no via email, because people will DM me

527
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: all the time now that I might not get to

528
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: because I'm you know, I might get one hundred direct

529
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: messages on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook collectively daily, so that

530
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: I might not adhere too. But if you send me

531
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: an email, it's very likely that I will make time

532
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: to talk on the phone if my schedule is not

533
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: super crazy, because be prepared, will be on the phone

534
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,360
Speaker 1: at least an hour.

535
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 2: And I don't mind.

536
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: I like pouring back in, especially women, especially young women

537
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 1: of color. I like pouring back in. So I don't

538
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: know that there's ever one way I don't think of

539
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 1: I've ever I'm trying to think I've ever gotten an

540
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 1: email from someone that's asked me for advice that I

541
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 1: was offended by no.

542
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 2: I mean a lot of people say, I love what

543
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: you're doing.

544
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to do what you do

545
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: in California or Chica go with this or that, or

546
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to do what you do

547
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: as a nurse though or as a as a you know,

548
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,400
Speaker 1: whatever it is that they're doing. And so I don't

549
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 1: know that I've ever gotten any email that's offended me.

550
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 4: Well, I think you're getting at an important point, which

551
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,479
Speaker 4: is also that it doesn't have to be such a

552
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 4: like mentorship has such a loaded, you know, connotation that

553
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 4: this is going to last for years and I'm gonna,

554
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 4: you know, if you if you just have a specific

555
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 4: goal that you want to reach this year, it doesn't

556
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 4: like don't get don't get caught up and establishing some

557
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 4: sort of important lifelong mentorship relationship. Time will tell if

558
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 4: that's what happened. But if there is an often, especially

559
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 4: with the young, because the students I mentor through the

560
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 4: University of Georgia, they are still in school and I

561
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 4: find that they don't know what they want to do yet,

562
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 4: and that makes it very difficult for me to help

563
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 4: because they don't know what they want yet. And fair enough,

564
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 4: you're a college student. Part of my job as a

565
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 4: mentor is maybe to help you figure out what you

566
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 4: want a little bit. But if you have a specific

567
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 4: goal that we can attack in thirty minutes or tackle

568
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 4: in an hour, yeah, then that would help. I'm just like,

569
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 4: I'm that person in the meeting who's like, where's the agenda?

570
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 4: What are the three things? And if it starts, you know,

571
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm all about the small talk though, okay, but can

572
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 4: we get five minutes in? I'm like, and bullet point one,

573
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 4: let's go on this list. And if there's not one,

574
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 4: I get really annoyed and I will stop a meeting

575
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 4: and say, what are we here for?

576
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 1: Again?

577
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 4: And I think, if you're looking especially, it's about respecting

578
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 4: people's time. Yes, it's all about that, That's what I think.

579
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: And then too, I think, like you know, mentee mentorships,

580
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: it's like organic like so the ones that I like,

581
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: the two it's really too heavily now. But there's three

582
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: altogether that I speak too regularly, and we don't even have.

583
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 2: Regularly scheduled calls.

584
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: There's one in particular I probably speak her at least

585
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: once a week because if I learn a lesson, I'm like, oh,

586
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: I learn a lesson. Let me call it easy, because

587
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: I know this would be so good for her to

588
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: learn because that was she doesn't have to make the

589
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 1: same mistake because we really just click. She feels like

590
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: my younger cousin, you know, so mentorship works best that

591
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: way when you will just clicked.

592
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: But I just thought that would be a good teacher

593
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 2: for moment.

594
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't time for questions, but I just thought, like.

595
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 4: You know, don't be a dick and also share your

596
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 4: emails like that you think people like, don't don't be

597
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 4: that person that's embarrassing, you know. I hope she'd at

598
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 4: least blocked out the young person's and she did thankfully. Yeah, yeah,

599
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 4: don't don't be a jerk. It's just be nice, be kind,

600
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 4: be kind, treat people like you would you're you know,

601
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 4: your sibling or I guess sometimes we're mean to our siblings.

602
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, maybe not just about.

603
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 4: This your neighbor, because you are way more polite to

604
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 4: your neighbor probably than you are to your own.

605
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: And to be to give her credit, she did admit.

606
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 1: She said I was a hole. I made a mistake.

607
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. So she has like you know, right

608
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: away she realized the error was like, yikes, maybe not

609
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: the best choice. So, and that's not an easy thing

610
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 1: to do when everyone's dragging you to like step forward

611
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: and say yes, I deserve the dragging and I repent.

612
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 4: So I mean, yeah, so she's uncanceled, got it.

613
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: I don't cancel anybody anymore unless you're a rapist and

614
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: a pedophile.

615
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 4: Okay, well, I mean yeah, those are good. It's a

616
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 4: good list. And tweet a lot of.

617
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: People right or super racist something like that, you know

618
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I don't cancel when people make

619
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 1: mistakes or if I'm just like I mean, lord only knows.

620
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: One day it'll be my turn. I hope not on Twitter,

621
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: because they will drag you for life fulfilled forever. I'd

622
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: be like, whoa, I.

623
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 4: Keep not kidding. That exactly is exactly the reason I

624
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 4: got out of the Twitter game. I do not participate.

625
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 4: I'll watch, but I don't like to tweet because I

626
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 4: got way too caught up in that. Oh I want

627
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 4: to be the most clever tweet. I want to get

628
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 4: all of the most retweets and the likes. And you

629
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 4: start testing those waters and you get into trouble. People

630
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 4: try and be funny and next thing you know, they're

631
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 4: losing their job because they tweeted something yes, in the

632
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 4: in the heat of a moment, and I'm super paranoid

633
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 4: about it. Yes, yeah, I have my little brother one

634
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 4: time go through the nevermind. I won't tell y'all because

635
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 4: you'll go do it and find something we didn't find.

636
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 4: But any way, shall we move on to some questions?

637
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 4: Yes do. Let's take a quick break and we will

638
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 4: be right back with your questions. Already, y'all, it's time

639
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 4: for questions again. You can hit us up at Brandanmission

640
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 4: podcast at gmail dot com with your questions, or reach

641
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 4: out to me on the Gram. I'm there reading y'all's

642
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 4: questions Brandonbission Podcast on Instagram. Keep them short, keep them light.

643
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 4: Let me know if you want to be anonymous or else.

644
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 4: I'll try and figure out how to pronounce y'all's weird

645
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 4: Instagram handles. Okay, and I just can't. It's all that

646
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 4: have to go on. Okay, and what else? We still

647
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 4: have a site. Check that out brandonbissionpodcast dot com. To

648
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 4: drop us a note the old fashioned way through to

649
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 4: ask us anything, tab and let's see, we have a

650
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 4: couple of questions from the GRAM to the first question,

651
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 4: and this, as I have talked about on the podcast before.

652
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 4: I know Tiffany and I grew up with very different

653
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 4: relationships with our parents when it came to money. Her

654
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 4: daddy was a CFO. My daddy was a hot mess,

655
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 4: but like a in a sweet way. My dad still

656
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 4: rolls up his savings in his socks in his closet,

657
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 4: and Tiffany's dad, you know, has probably he probably not does,

658
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 4: have socks, cash and his money. My dad told me

659
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 4: he was gonna deposit all the coins he had in

660
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 4: his giant water jug in his bedroom and that was

661
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 4: gonna carry him through while he was unemployed. And I'm

662
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 4: sure Tiffany's dad would not just sharing. So this question

663
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: hit a little close to home for me, and I

664
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 4: guess it comes from someone from the GRAM who would

665
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 4: like to remain anonymous. She says, my mom has been

666
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 4: constantly horrible with finances my entire life. I'm thirty four

667
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 4: years old, She's turning sixty next year and is still

668
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 4: making illogical financial decisions. I find myself having to help

669
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 4: her financially, and it's been that way since I was

670
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 4: a little girl. Recently she fell behind on her rent

671
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 4: and utilities. Again. She's currently still working through the pandemic,

672
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 4: so it's not really an issue. I think she just

673
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 4: has poor money management, and I think she can do better.

674
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 4: The problem is that I don't really want to have

675
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 4: the conversation with her, but I want to. I've tried

676
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 4: in the past, but she gave me attitude and wasn't

677
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 4: recepted to my advice. I even bought her a book

678
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 4: to help her, but I don't think she has read it.

679
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 4: What can I do? While anonymous? I feel you My

680
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 4: dad still puts his money in socks in his closet,

681
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 4: and he still collects quarters in his giant water jug.

682
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 4: And you know, every time my FaceTime in with the baby,

683
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 4: he's at one of his great uncle's houses, chilling out

684
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: within six feet dy them, and still ghost fishing and

685
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 4: all that stuff. And I've just had to let it

686
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 4: go elsa style, I honestly have. The only thing I

687
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 4: can say that you know you can pull this card

688
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 4: out is it's not so much about their financial health.

689
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 4: It's like, and maybe it's a little bit selfish, but

690
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 4: my brother and I have talked about like I think

691
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 4: my dad's retirement plan is us, Like, we need to

692
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 4: make sure we have a lot our financial in place.

693
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 4: Like I think he thinks we're his four oh one K,

694
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 4: Like I'm the initial four one K. My brother is

695
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 4: the match. You know this man. I mean, he was

696
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 4: always a free spirit and he finally got a real

697
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 4: job the past couple of years and he has a

698
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 4: four to one ca of his own now. But yeah,

699
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 4: and and and I kind of feel like you can

700
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 4: only lead the horse to water. And if you're going

701
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 4: to try a new tactic, I would say bring it

702
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 4: to her, as in, Mom, I want to know that

703
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 4: you're gonna be okay as you get old. They're you know,

704
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 4: I don't know if you have any siblings, but let's

705
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 4: say you or our siblings. We want to be able

706
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 4: to take care of you, but we aren't, you know,

707
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 4: financially capable of sustaining you. So we need to let

708
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 4: you have a plan and maybe pose it to her

709
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 4: that way. But you also need to be prepared for

710
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 4: the fact that she's sixty and it's real hard to

711
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 4: change to turn that ship around. Yeah, when they get

712
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 4: to be that age, they're very set in their ways.

713
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,959
Speaker 4: You might just need to make peace with that and

714
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 4: try to do what I did, which is everything the opposite.

715
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: That's the trick.

716
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 4: Anything to add to what would you say? How would like?

717
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 4: What do you think I tried before?

718
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: I know it's hard for me because I'm like, ah,

719
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: that's so like if anything, my dad still saves, like

720
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: you know, he lives back in Nigeria.

721
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 4: So is there anything that your parents do that's the

722
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 4: bad habit that you've tried to talk like get them

723
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 4: to stop doing?

724
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like you know, my mom's somebody who likes

725
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: she's a nurse, so she's not feeling good, she'll go

726
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: to the doctor. So my dad, who like most men,

727
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: does not the doctor not feeling good, he doesn't want

728
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: to go, so definitely I with him. What we do

729
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: is we lay on the We all will layer up

730
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: and lay on the Daddy.

731
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 2: We love you so much.

732
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: We want you to be here to see the grand kids,

733
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: Like you know, you have to go because something happened,

734
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: you know, so kind of like laying on the kid

735
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: guilt that like, yeah, you know that if you're not here,

736
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: if you're not okay, we won't be okay. So that's

737
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: one of the I guess the tips that you could

738
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: try to lean in is that the reason why I'm

739
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: so hard on you is because I want you to

740
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: be okay, because I need you to be okay. So

741
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: almost leaning into like like you're six again, like I

742
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: need my mommy, you know. So yeah, that's probably what

743
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: I would lean into, and that has helped where he's like, okay,

744
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: that was.

745
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 2: Like because it's five of us, so you know, it's

746
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 2: a long way to go.

747
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: Every day that phone ringing, so I know it might

748
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: only be you, but definitely leaning into. I mean, moms

749
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: are queens of guilt trips. It's time for you to

750
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: turn that guilt wipe back around.

751
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 4: Her mom's and aunties. My god, and when they know

752
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 4: how to text to there's no stop in them. The

753
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 4: long text comes through an Burndah, my god, stop it.

754
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 4: I yes, no, I think back to nine year old

755
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 4: you know Mandy, who used to try and steal her

756
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,879
Speaker 4: mom's cartons of misty men thought lights and hide them

757
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 4: in the closet because I wanted her to stop smoking.

758
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 4: Because I was so literal about everything, and I did

759
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 4: the science project on cancer or there were you know,

760
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 4: we learned about cancer in class one day in biology,

761
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 4: and I was just like, oh my god, my mom

762
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 4: is dying tomorrow. You know. She and I and I

763
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 4: used to just like fight with her, and she would

764
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 4: get so mad at me and I would hide them anyway,

765
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,399
Speaker 4: and I would pour water on him and all kinds

766
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,439
Speaker 4: of stuff. And she quit in two thousand and nine.

767
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 4: I wasn't even in the country, and I was like, wow,

768
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 4: now you quit all the work. She quit when she

769
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 4: was ready, you know, and you know you just got

770
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 4: to let it go. And one more thing I'll add

771
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 4: is I think in this pandemic. Since we are talking,

772
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 4: you know, she acknowledges her mom is still working through

773
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 4: the pandemic. I have a good girlfriend who I you know,

774
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,439
Speaker 4: she called me crying because her mom owns a nail

775
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 4: salon in Georgia. And as you guys know, my home

776
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 4: state is doing the most and is reopened already despite

777
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 4: dire warnings from all scientists and health officials. But anyhow,

778
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: it's happening, and her mom has reopened her nail salon,

779
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 4: and and this is weeks after her daughter has been

780
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 4: spending all this time and energy trying to fill out

781
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 4: her applications for pandemic unemployment assistance for the paycheck Protection

782
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 4: program and then unemployment, you know, all the different applications

783
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: and all that pressure has been on her, and she's

784
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 4: just so mad, you know, like it's almost like, how

785
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 4: can you repay me in this way? And I had

786
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 4: to told her the same thing. You know, at a

787
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 4: certain point, I have just had to stop lecturing my dad,

788
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 4: like it just it is what it is. You can't

789
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 4: stop grown people from doing, from doing grown people's stuff.

790
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 4: And you say your piece, and then you have to

791
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 4: move on and try not to let it stress you

792
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 4: out too much. But I you know, I feel you

793
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 4: on that for sure, Anonymous, And let's see moving on

794
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 4: to our next question. This is actually this is kind

795
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 4: of funny. This is a frequent questionnaire questionnaer to our Instagram.

796
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 4: I don't even know this person's name he or she,

797
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 4: but I feel like they send lots of messages. This

798
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 4: is from exodebt free Love on Instagram. She has several

799
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 4: questions for us, kind of funny. She has like it's

800
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 4: almost like a quick fire question for how and what

801
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 4: we've been doing in quarantine. Do you want to.

802
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it, let's do it, Let's do it.

803
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 4: Okay, what was your most ridiculous or unnecessary online purchase

804
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 4: since quarantine?

805
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 6: Tiffany Ah, I I make any ridiculous unnecessary purchase, I

806
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 6: have not.

807
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: Really made it. I bought vitamins. I don't know that

808
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous.

809
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 4: I bought an immersion hand blender and it looks like

810
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:53,479
Speaker 4: a giant dildo, and I'm just.

811
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 2: Gonna say it.

812
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: It does.

813
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 4: I can't keep it on the counter.

814
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 2: Phallic symbols everywhere.

815
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 4: Phallic Yeah. I mean it's not even funny. It just

816
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 4: am like, Wow, did a man design this or what?

817
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 4: I bought it thinking I was gonna mash up Rio's babyfood. Okay,

818
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 4: but homeboy has no interest in eating solids right now.

819
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: Ye kids are so funny. They're like, girl, you tried it,

820
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: so I will say this. I spent like four hundred

821
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 1: dollars on vitamins and so wait me, so I guess

822
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: that is kind of ridiculous because I.

823
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 4: Was so freaked out. I was like, my dad gets

824
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 4: you to.

825
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 2: I was so freaked out. I was like, we need

826
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 2: vitamin C.

827
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 4: Wait is that before or after I came and started

828
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 4: like telling you how vitamins are a joke? And my

829
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 4: dad's been telling me to buy vitamins and you were

830
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 4: listening after it, Okay, I felt like you were really offended.

831
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I was it. I wasn't, I tell you no,

832
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: this is after it. I just was like freaked out.

833
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: I was like, because a couple of friends of mine

834
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 1: came down with corona and I just got so freaked out.

835
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'm going to

836
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: order zinc because zink is supposed to peaking for this,

837
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: and I'm going to order cilium and I'm going to

838
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: order vitamin C. And I literally I bought so much

839
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: that we became like Superman, and I became the Black

840
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 1: Santa Claus Santa Claus.

841
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,800
Speaker 2: And we we wiped everything down.

842
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: And I had so much stuff that I made little

843
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: baggies and spray them down and put them on my

844
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: friend's front porch.

845
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,240
Speaker 4: Wait, Tiffany, you listen now, talk about being racial profil

846
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 4: Please don't put people in baggies of pills on people's people.

847
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 4: Are Keith's gonna Keith is gonna report.

848
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 1: You like, oh wow, it's right. It's gonna be like

849
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: she's the She's the neighborhood push a lady, right. So

850
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: but yeah, so I just got so much, and I

851
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: was like, Tiffany, it's gonna be okay. I didn't.

852
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 2: I ordered so much stuff that some stuff came today.

853
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, I have more stuff.

854
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 4: Goodness, so just get the one and day one of

855
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 4: day Women's. That's the whole point of those pills. They

856
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:43,240
Speaker 4: have everything.

857
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: I have every And honestly, my doctor told me that

858
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: because I take I take pre natal vitamins, you know,

859
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: for IVF, and those are great.

860
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said that.

861
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: She's like, Tiffany, it literally has one thousand percent of everything.

862
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 1: That's why they're previ.

863
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know, She's like, okay, enjoy your diarrhea.

864
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 4: Basically, well you can.

865
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 1: Too many vita even in some cases are not healthy.

866
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: So okay, that's why. That's why I gave so much away,

867
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: because I was like, this is too.

868
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 4: Much, So don't get don't don't get arrested for that

869
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 4: kind of nonsense. Although would be kind of a funny

870
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 4: story if everything happened. Okay, actually no, don't. It can

871
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 4: go so wrong in a sad way. All right, Anyway,

872
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,399
Speaker 4: this is not quick fire at all. Next question, how

873
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 4: often do you take naps or is that even possible?

874
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 1: Woocha at least once a day, sometimes thrice.

875
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,959
Speaker 4: I hate you. Listen, well, I don't hate you, because

876
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 4: you should. My sister, we're all I'm constantly messaging her,

877
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 4: and she's I feel like she's always in the bed.

878
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, when do you work? I don't take naps.

879
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 4: I still have trouble taking naps because I need so

880
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 4: much caffeine to get started for each day, and so

881
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 4: I'm typically too wired to take a nap, which is

882
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 4: not healthy. If I had it my way, I would

883
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,879
Speaker 4: take a nap, but I can't between baby and work.

884
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 4: No way.

885
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but y'all know, I was a naper before napper.

886
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: Before so, I was a daily napper at least an

887
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: hour before so. In the beginning of quarantine, I was

888
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 1: taking naps at least two or three times because I

889
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: was just so overwhelmed. But now I'm back to my

890
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: daily So.

891
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, Now I don't take naps, but I do take

892
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 4: breaks good, and I do talk to my mom and sister.

893
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 4: We do lots of FaceTime with the abuelos. I do

894
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,399
Speaker 4: take breaks. I go outside. I walk the dog. Well

895
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 4: that's not entirely true, but I go outside. Okay, since

896
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 4: the quarantine. Do you cook at home or order out?

897
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 2: Cook at home?

898
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: And I'm not a big chefy cheffer upper, but I've

899
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: been nervous about ordering out, so we cook at home

900
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 1: large I would say ninety five percent home cooking.

901
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 4: Same. I love to cook. I finally have energy to

902
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 4: do it again now that the baby's sleeping longer, so

903
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 4: I've been cooking. And we also still subscribe to Freshly,

904
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 4: where we get meals delivered. Even though I'm kind of

905
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 4: tired of it, It's so nice to have that backup

906
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 4: in the fridge, just prepared meals that I can eat.

907
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 4: Have you had to delete people from social media due

908
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 4: to their excessive postings about the virus? No, I'm not

909
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 4: on it that much to notice.

910
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: I knew you did for sure. There's some people who

911
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: I know they meet well, so I haven't had to.

912
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 1: I didn't want to delete or block them, but I

913
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: was like, I kind of don't want to hear from

914
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: you right now. So I've definitely done a lot of muty.

915
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 4: Okay, let's just do she has a lot. Okay, let's

916
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 4: do like one or two more. What's the first thing

917
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 4: you want to do once quarantine's been lifted, that's a

918
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 4: good one.

919
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 2: Ooh, I want to go visit my friend Rihanna. She

920
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: lives around. We still see each other. I just like,

921
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 2: I'll just be on her front porch.

922
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: But I want to like go hang out with my

923
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: friend Rihanna because she lives around the corner. She's one

924
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: of my favorite bitty bob friends. It's a bitty bob

925
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,280
Speaker 1: so like her. Her husband calls us like old Biddy's

926
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: and he's like, you guys are just like just you know,

927
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 1: bopping around. He's like, look at y'all biddy Bob committee.

928
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, ooh, he made it as a little disc

929
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 1: but we love it. I'm like, ooh, le's biddy bock today.

930
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 4: But is she the one who did the the house?

931
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: Yeah?

932
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're a new couple friends. It's great to find

933
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 4: a couple of friends. Our couple friend just moved. It

934
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 4: was sad they moved. They were next door and then

935
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 4: they left. It's all right, let's see what do I

936
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 4: want to do. I want to rent a restaurant out

937
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 4: and have all my friends and family and have a

938
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 4: big party for all the miss birthdays. And my mom's

939
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 4: sixtieth birthday was a big one. My Dad's two, all

940
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 4: the Mother's Day things, like all the anniversaries. I want

941
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,919
Speaker 4: a big ass party that lots of tacos and gua

942
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 4: and Margarita's that. That's what I want to do and

943
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 4: maybe we can like all chip in and pay for

944
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 4: it together. I don't know. I just want to have

945
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,959
Speaker 4: I just want to have people, people people. Okay, let's

946
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 4: do one more. Do you want to do music or

947
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 4: shows that you're binging right now?

948
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: Let's do music because I'm not watching any shows.

949
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 4: Okay, neat to go.

950
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 2: Music that I'm binging right now, and that's super binging.

951
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: I've always been like a Drake fran So I been

952
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 1: listen to that and when I get stressed out, INDI

953
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 1: I reas my go to So I've been doing that,

954
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: and well that's my brown boost. So I'll save that

955
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: other music component for the brown boosts.

956
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 4: Oh okay, let's see. I can't pretend like I know

957
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 4: all about the music because it's just too much. I've

958
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,240
Speaker 4: been listening to show tunes, y'all, I did. I've blasted

959
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 4: the Carousel album, which is not even a cool it's

960
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 4: not even fun, not even Hamilton. I just listened to

961
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 4: Broadway music. And me happy and the Elmos slide. If

962
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 4: you know, you know, and if you don't, you never

963
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 4: need to know. But it's a it's a it's a bop. Okay,

964
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 4: Well that was fun. Thank you for the questions. I

965
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 4: hope you guys are, you know, finding ways to relax

966
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 4: out there in quarantine. And I did find that I'm

967
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 4: sick of watching TV, so I bought a huge book

968
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 4: that I had been reading for the past couple of

969
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 4: weeks and it felt good to just read for some hours.

970
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 4: So if you have any recommendations of what I can

971
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 4: read next, I'm open to recommendations. And my my boost

972
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 4: is related to that or my break is so I'll

973
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 4: take another little break and come back for break or

974
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 4: as Tiffany calls it, wins wins not wins.

975
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: So now it's time to boost a break with all

976
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: our family.

977
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 2: Is you going to boost? Is she gonna break?

978
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 4: What you're gonna do, Mandy, I'm gonna take a break.

979
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 4: I'm going to take a break. So, speaking of books

980
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,479
Speaker 4: that I'm reading, this has been maybe it's just because

981
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 4: the Pulitzers were announced recently, but I've had an awkward

982
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 4: interaction with two people who are white recently. You know,

983
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 4: I won't even say where I know them anyway. They're

984
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 4: white and independent of each other. They have both when

985
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 4: I have mentioned what I'm reading and that I like

986
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,439
Speaker 4: reading or whatever, or even unsolicited for the second one,

987
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 4: they have both come to me and been like, oh

988
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 4: my god, you have to read The Nickel Boys by

989
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 4: Colson Whitehead. Oh my god, you have to read The

990
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 4: Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead. Oh my god, one of

991
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 4: them said. And we were talking about so Coulson Whitehead,

992
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 4: you don't know. He's a Pulitzer Prize winning, two time

993
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 4: Pulitzer Prize winning novelist, and he wrote The Underground Railroad,

994
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 4: which was at Oprah's Book Club a couple of years ago,

995
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 4: and he recently just won another Pulitzer for his book

996
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 4: The Nickel Boys, which is about some truly, truly depressing story.

997
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 4: It's a novel based on the true story of black

998
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 4: boys who were buried outside of a school in Florida.

999
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 4: And I forget all the details of that, but it

1000
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 4: just it's a very harrowing real life story that was

1001
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 4: turned into a novel. And he won the Pulitzer. But

1002
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 4: the way these people came to me to recommend it.

1003
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 4: The first one, for example, are talking about books, and

1004
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 4: she's going on and on about Colson Whitehead and I'm like, oh,

1005
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 4: I haven't read you know that book and oh he

1006
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 4: wrote the end. Oh yeah, And I don't really know

1007
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 4: much about him. And she's like, oh my god, you

1008
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 4: have to read. I just I just love this genre.

1009
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 4: And I was like, well, what genre are you talking about?

1010
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 4: And she said, just I just love African American history,

1011
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 4: you know. And I it was it was a call

1012
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 4: where I just I just didn't know what to do

1013
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 4: and I didn't know what to say. And it's one

1014
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 4: of those things where you kind of just change a subject,

1015
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 4: but you replay in your mind what you should have said.

1016
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 4: But it just felt so it just felt icky. Made

1017
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 4: me feel icky, you know what I mean. And then

1018
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 4: it happened again today someone else, Ow, I just hit

1019
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 4: myself in the water bottle. It's fine. Someone else recommended

1020
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 4: the same author to me, and this time I was

1021
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 4: at least a little bit more prepared because they were

1022
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 4: going on about the Nickel Boys and I said, you know,

1023
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 4: it's actually really hard, that's it. And it's true because

1024
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 4: my friends and I we have a group text and

1025
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 4: we've all been talking about the fatigue of black bodies

1026
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 4: being destroyed, you know, and with the whole Amad Arbory thing,

1027
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 4: you know, which, on the one hand, I'm so glad

1028
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 4: that this has risen above the COVID coverage to get light.

1029
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 4: But on the other hand, it's just that fatigue, and

1030
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 4: it's like the it's that not exploitation, but the joy

1031
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 4: they're deriving from stories about African Americans being destroyed, and

1032
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 4: like the excitement they have. I just find it a

1033
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 4: little bit offensive. And to the person today, all I

1034
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 4: said was, you know, it's actually kind of hard me

1035
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 4: to watch to read stuff about that what happened to

1036
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 4: those boys in Florida, And I said, it's similar to

1037
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 4: like Superman Husby. Husby and I were trying to he

1038
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 4: turned on that documentary on HBO covering the Atlanta child murders,

1039
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 4: and I can't. I tried, and it's too hard for me.

1040
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 4: I just can't. I keep picturing my dad, who was

1041
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 4: like a teenager when all that was happening, who knew

1042
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 4: some of the boys who were murdered, and after hearing

1043
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 4: his stories, I just anyway, it's just a brown break

1044
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 4: from the really happy white person and wants to tell

1045
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 4: you about the book by the black author that you

1046
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,839
Speaker 4: simply must read, especially the one who was like, I

1047
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 4: just love African American history. I'm like, oh, what's so

1048
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 4: fun about it for you? Isn't need buttruc. It's like

1049
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 4: I just love Tony Morrison and I'm like, cool, Like

1050
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 4: that's great. I'm gonna, you know, read something different, and

1051
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 4: it's fine.

1052
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 1: Yes, It's like when I met white boys and they're like,

1053
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 1: hey girl, and I'm like, you know, you can speak normally.

1054
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 2: It's so tiring, and I'm like I make it a point.

1055
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 1: To not engage.

1056
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, hello, Thomas, how are you today, sister?

1057
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm good, you know, with the neck go And I'm like,

1058
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: you know, like I might keiky with my friends like that,

1059
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: but we're ne friends.

1060
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 4: Never moved to the South. Yeah, that's all that I've happened.

1061
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: I'm so annoyed.

1062
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 4: I didn't know that kind of stuff was offensive until

1063
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 4: I well, until I got educated. But that would I mean,

1064
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 4: that's just routine.

1065
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1066
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 4: You feel like if you're in a like I.

1067
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 2: Said, you know, from another from another sister.

1068
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, yes, hey girl, But like all of

1069
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 1: that I'm like, Tom, do you remember I asked one guy, like,

1070
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: do you talk to your other friends like that? It's

1071
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 1: just me.

1072
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 2: It was at a work in a workplace setting.

1073
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: He just kept doing that and he looks he got

1074
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: red in the face, and I said, yeah, exactly like

1075
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: you would never cut Yeah, you would never go up

1076
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: to Bob and do all of that. You talked to

1077
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: Bob normally. I'm a normal human being. You can speak

1078
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: to me normally. Thanks, Thanks, bye.

1079
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 4: And I wish I could say that in the moment.

1080
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 4: Sometimes it happens. Don't want to say that to Kelly Clarkson.

1081
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 4: I feel like I love Kelly Clarkson, but sometimes she

1082
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 4: borders on Like I love her and I know she's sincere,

1083
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 4: but sometimes I'm like, can you stop? Like I know

1084
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 4: you're from.

1085
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 1: Texas, Like don't, don't do it, don't do it. So anyway,

1086
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 1: I've got a boost and a break. So the break

1087
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: is really short, but it's a little petty, and I

1088
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: was deciding gonna be petty, and then the boot is

1089
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: sucksually short too. I want to start with the break

1090
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 1: because that way the boost we can end in a

1091
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: light note. So this is the break is not like

1092
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: anything bad. But I rarely ever read comments. I rarely

1093
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,879
Speaker 1: ever read reviews. I mean, I'm open to correction. I'm

1094
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: open to like people telling me how I could do better.

1095
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: I've been ten years in business, so I'm not super

1096
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: sensitive about like, heydev, could you Someone sent me the

1097
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: other day. I had done a video and she was like, hey,

1098
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: hey girl, I love you. I love what you're doing

1099
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: as a bujanista. You were I watched one of your

1100
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 1: videos and it was great. But if you could angle

1101
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 1: the camera down and then something she was telling me.

1102
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: But it was really great feedback. But I could see

1103
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 1: how some people would be offended because it's like, girl,

1104
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: I didn't ask you, but I thought it was great feedback.

1105
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 2: I said, thanks so much.

1106
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 1: Someone else hit me up before, and she like, I

1107
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: had a flyer that was out and my on my team,

1108
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: whoever had cut my image out to put on the

1109
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: flyer missed some part of my hair that still had

1110
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 1: like white in the background, and she like sent it

1111
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 1: to me literally circled that part. Was like, hey girl,

1112
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: I love you, but you know you want to represent

1113
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 1: your brands to the best of your ability. And I

1114
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: found this some people will be pissed, not me. I

1115
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 1: was like, oh, thanks so much, send it to my team.

1116
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: So I say all that to say, I'm usually good

1117
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: with feedback, but I read a review recently and all

1118
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: I have to say, girl is uterus uterus, uterus, uterus uterus. Girl.

1119
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure you read that one. You try a girl?

1120
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 4: No?

1121
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 2: No, what the book?

1122
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 3: No?

1123
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: No. Someone wrote me and said, girl, we tired of

1124
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:31,800
Speaker 1: hearing about your uterus A whole woman, A whole woman.

1125
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 4: And I was like, so a listener of the podcast, yes,

1126
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 4: And I.

1127
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 1: Was like, so she has some other criticism, which I

1128
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I accepted. I could do better than that.

1129
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: I could do better. I'm honestly, like I said, I'm

1130
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: open for a correction and things an'll hurt my feelings anymore,

1131
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: because you know, you can't run a business for ten

1132
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,839
Speaker 1: years and not hear feedback because you want to grow.

1133
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: But what I'm not going to do is loud, especially

1134
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: a woman. How you gonna tell me you tired to

1135
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: hear about my uterus even if you aren't, Which that

1136
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: is a fair critique, but.

1137
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 4: Last show isn't called brown y.

1138
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: But I just felt like there's just a level of

1139
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: kindness that you can extend.

1140
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not talking about my sex life.

1141
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about my vagina like I'm sharing that,

1142
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 1: you know, like I've had two miscarriagters in the last

1143
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: two years and about fifteen different surgeries. Every time you

1144
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 1: go onto surgery, they let you know there's no guarantee

1145
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: you're gonna wake up, Like it's been a Harry experience,

1146
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 1: and I'm sharing that, and then too, so many women

1147
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: hit me up and they've shared their experience with how

1148
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: hard it's been for them. And so when I read that,

1149
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna lie, Maddie. I cried

1150
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: because it's been a hard week. And I cried, and

1151
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: I was just like and then I was just like, well,

1152
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: it wasn't It wasn't just for that.

1153
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: It was just always want to hear about your ut.

1154
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 1: So anyway, I say all that to say, I'm not

1155
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 1: gonna remember how we used to have the inside joke

1156
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: about Jermaine or no Jerome, like the one.

1157
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 4: Who knows what his name is anymore, Yes, the one listener.

1158
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: And so just so you know, girl, every once in

1159
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: a while, me and Made will be talking and I'm

1160
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,359
Speaker 1: gonna say, yeah, I went outside today, Uterus.

1161
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 2: It's for usiss, it's for you. That's the battle.

1162
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 4: So I don't know what maybe happened in her life.

1163
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just thought that, like it's just unnecessary. It's

1164
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: like I said, you could give feedback without being mean anyway,

1165
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 1: round boosting though. I don't know if you caught the

1166
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: Jill Scott and Erika I do versus battle, well, not

1167
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: even a battle, it was a blessing.

1168
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 2: What No, it was amazing.

1169
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 1: So you know they're doing like well, if you haven't

1170
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 1: done social they it's mostly Timbaland and what's his face

1171
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: on twitch speed? So I forget who the first battle

1172
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 1: was against, but it's because you know, all the musicians

1173
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 1: are home, so they've just tried to find musicians that

1174
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: are in a similar asque I guess genre to kind

1175
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 1: of battle against each other where they just basically play

1176
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: up each other's songs. Like So the last one before

1177
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: this was Babyface and Teddy Riley. So you know they're

1178
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: both really prolific, right, I mean, I swear no words,

1179
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 1: they're both amazing all the time. They're both amazing producers, right,

1180
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: And so it was it was funny because Teddy Riley

1181
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 1: couldn't get his sound together. But the one with Jill

1182
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:05,760
Speaker 1: Scott and Erica ba Do it was so it felt

1183
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: like a big Mama hug. It was available on Can

1184
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: I still watch it Instagram? Lives be disappearing, you know itspear,

1185
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 1: it is disappearing.

1186
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 4: But it was just I'm sure someone saved it. So

1187
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 4: they perform each other's songs.

1188
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,800
Speaker 2: No, they played, they played, They played their own songs.

1189
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, like hey, so like.

1190
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: You remember like a Long Walk by Jill Scott and

1191
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: then Erica bad On and on. It was just I

1192
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 1: felt like the nineties all over again. It was beautiful.

1193
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 1: Like I said, literally when I tell you that there

1194
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 1: was a collective sigh of black and brown girl relief

1195
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 1: that because most of the time it's like a battle to.

1196
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 2: See who won.

1197
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: But the way they were speaking to each other, it

1198
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: was a love fest.

1199
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 2: It was hay sis.

1200
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 1: It was just it was beautiful, honestly, And it was

1201
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: so strange because it was right the day before, you know,

1202
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: so many of us walked or ran and you know,

1203
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 1: to celebrate Ahmad's the young man that was killed in Georgia,

1204
00:53:56,440 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: murdered in Georgia the day before they walked for his birthday,

1205
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: and so to have this was just like the like

1206
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 1: the bomb that our souls needed. And so just to

1207
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: see the feedback afterward and everybody posting saying thank you

1208
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: so much, it was just almost every woman was like, yo,

1209
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: I cried, I cried and you didn't. Really it was

1210
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 1: just a release that we needed. So I just thought

1211
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: that was beautiful and how music truly can heal. And

1212
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 1: so shout out to Jill Scott and Kabadu if you

1213
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: missed the versus battle, it was great. The next one

1214
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 1: up is Luda versus Nelly, so fine, who got your

1215
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: money on Luda and.

1216
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:34,320
Speaker 4: Nelly Swish Switch? I just I need this hole on

1217
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 4: a second. I need to remember all the lyrics too.

1218
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 4: To Nelly's is.

1219
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: It apple bottoms, Apple bottom?

1220
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 4: This was like the song and you know how like

1221
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, how was I singing this in science class?

1222
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 4: Like the eighth grade? But it was the soundtrack of

1223
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 4: my life. Nelly was, ooh, I'm so excited.

1224
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: Good for him.

1225
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 4: Where has he been anyway?

1226
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: I know, I mean I don't know, maybe he might

1227
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 1: still produce and things, but it should be fun, like

1228
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: you know. So, yeah, the verses just fun because you're like,

1229
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 1: oh my god, it just you get to relive your

1230
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: childhood and you know, an elementary and high schoolhood. So yeah,

1231
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: like I said, Brown Boost, Jill Erica, thank you so much,

1232
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: and uterus listen.

1233
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 4: I can't think of something that's more on topic with

1234
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 4: the with the theme of our show, which is career

1235
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 4: and finance, than how a woman's reproduction factors into her

1236
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 4: career planning. Because if you're a woman, even if you

1237
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 4: choose not to have children, it's a choice, right, it is.

1238
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 4: It's the thought that you have to have. And I

1239
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 4: think that you're incredibly brave and open and generous to

1240
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 4: share that window into your reality. And I wouldn't have

1241
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 4: it any other way.

1242
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 1: Thanks Manda.

1243
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 4: But you know, I'm also the kind of person who

1244
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:48,399
Speaker 4: will watch documentaries on gas doctor pimple Popper. So when

1245
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 4: you talk.

1246
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 1: About I love I love Doctor piple Popper, I don't

1247
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 1: know what it is. What is it?

1248
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 2: I don't disgust.

1249
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 4: It's like when I get the nice, juicy boogers out

1250
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 4: of Rio's nose and I'm like, who am I? What

1251
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:01,360
Speaker 4: is it about me that enjoys this?

1252
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I just was like I watch,

1253
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is her name? The doctor? I get it?

1254
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 2: Forget her name?

1255
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 4: And who knows doctor pimple pop.

1256
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm get it, girl, yes, get it.

1257
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 4: And when it's not that exciting, I'm like.

1258
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 2: Oh man, I climbacted.

1259
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 1: The best is when it's one that you're like, you

1260
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 1: don't think it's much, and then it's everything you're like,

1261
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I.

1262
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 4: Think I need a cigarette. Yes, well this was restorative

1263
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 4: for me.

1264
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 1: Yes?

1265
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 4: Is that how you pronounce that word? It's one of

1266
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 4: those words I can I'm saying restorative. Is it restorative

1267
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 4: or restorative?

1268
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 2: I don't don't know. Look, I couldn't remember.

1269
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:39,760
Speaker 4: Pro prolific producer.

1270
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: I know, look it's gone, but yes, no, this has been.

1271
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 1: This is I mean, it's always on, like awesome to

1272
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 1: come on. I'm glad that we're able to stay consistent.

1273
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 1: If y'all only knew, right, we tape round like when

1274
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,839
Speaker 1: is real sleep? Okay, we could tape now like it's

1275
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 1: it's never the same time, the same day, and we

1276
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: make it work and we come here and we enjoy

1277
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 1: like each other and enjoy y'all, So just you know,

1278
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: thank you guys for walking out with us, continuously.

1279
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 4: We love being here, and thank you for making it

1280
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 4: so we don't have to apologize for my insane You

1281
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 4: know the fact that I don't even have a schedule anymore.

1282
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,879
Speaker 4: I have the time in between napps and that's all

1283
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 4: I have. And thank you, Tiffany, No, of course, thank

1284
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 4: you guys for listening, and we will see you next week,

1285
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 4: next week, next week. You can at least count on us.

1286
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,240
Speaker 2: Call me with me, kid me, we shouldn't, we should do.

1287
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 2: That's not our way out.

1288
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 4: Count on I me. I need to watch Waiting to Exhale.

1289
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 4: That is what needs to happen. It's not even in

1290
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 4: that movie, because it was right, okay, all right. It

1291
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 4: just came to me and I was like, wait, is

1292
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 4: that right? And I think also there's an episode of

1293
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 4: Sister Sister when inexplicably they performed that song and.

1294
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: Leave my friends alone.

1295
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 1: I love, I can't leave.

1296
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 4: Al right, we need to go and insanity bye to

1297
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 4: take care of