1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,360 Speaker 1: This is the pres show. 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 2: Dan is taking over Las Vegas this January for his 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: seven night presidency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've 4 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty 6 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 2: direction to three seven three three seven now for a 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 2: chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: message of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live 10 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 2: Nation and Caman pointed this out. I saw it on 11 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 2: TikTok over the weekend as well. But bird theory. Have 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 2: you heard about bird theory? 13 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? This is another test. It sure is a test, 14 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: another test. I don't like a test. 15 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 2: I don't like a situation where I'm in a relationship 16 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 2: or a friendship and someone is doing something intentionally to 17 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 2: test my reaction. 18 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: I don't like that. 19 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 2: And then they already know what I'm supposed to do 20 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 2: in their heads ahead, or whomever's asking me to do 21 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 2: this the bird theory. The bird test is a social 22 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 2: media trend in relationship concept where a person points out 23 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 2: something mundane like a bird, to gay their partner's reaction 24 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 2: as a measure of attentiveness and connection. 25 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: Did you try it? 26 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 3: I'm way too scared because I already know what the 27 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 3: answer is going to be, and I will probably end 28 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 3: up fight. 29 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: Like, he's not going to care that I said there's 30 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: a bird, like take a look. 31 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 3: He my husband supports me and all that I do, 32 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 3: but my husband's too logical and he's not going to 33 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 3: care about. 34 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: A bird in that moment. 35 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 2: So he would say, you would say, hey, look there, 36 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 2: that's a that's a pretty bird out there, and he'd go, okay. 37 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 3: Yeah, he would just be like, I don't know, like 38 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 3: what bird or like he'd be. 39 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: Like, okay, what would Mike do if he pointed out 40 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,320 Speaker 1: a bird? Yeah? I mean he would do the same thing. 41 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: We got two mics. 42 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: Now, we got military, we got the mechanic. 43 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: Okay military you apologies? 44 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, just know which one I'm talking about. I didn't say, 45 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 2: like the mechanic, so it's not your fault. What would 46 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 2: what would what would like the mechanic do? 47 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: I think? 48 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 4: I mean I do this like if we're like driving 49 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 4: and they say like a deer, like, oh, look at 50 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 4: the deer, and he'll like look and we're like, oh 51 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 4: my god, deer, Like. 52 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: I don't know. 53 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 4: I don't know if it's that, but I think like 54 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 4: we just like animals, So I feel like he would 55 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 4: want to look at the bird. 56 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 2: Okay, what if it were something else, What if it 57 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 2: were like look at uh, look at the pothole, I 58 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 2: mean something it. 59 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: Was like less of an interest. Yeah if yeah, I 60 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: guess if. 61 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 2: You like animals, I'm the same way, like if you 62 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 2: were to say to me, like, look at that bird, like, 63 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 2: I'm assuming that you're showing me something that I that 64 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 2: I think is like I wouldn't normally see. Like if 65 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: you say to me, look at that bird, I'm assuming 66 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 2: it's not just one of the thirty pigeons at that. 67 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm assuming you look, you're pointing out a 68 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: bald eagle or something like, you know what I mean. 69 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, like I'll show him like I'm like, 70 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 4: oh mean, I look at this picture of Kim Kardashian 71 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 4: on Instagram, and I know he doesn't care about the Kardashians. 72 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: They'll still look okay, all right? And then and then 73 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 2: military mic, we had lots of mics. Well what would 74 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 2: you do you point out? Because I'll tell you what 75 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: this all means. But what would so he if you 76 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 2: just pointed out something just ridiculous, just normal, just whatever, 77 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 2: look at that uh tree? What would what would he 78 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 2: do when you look at it? 79 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 3: To me the lines of hobby, he'd probably be like 80 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 3: huh okay cool and like go back to like I 81 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,679 Speaker 3: don't know and whatever he's doing, like he yeah, I 82 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 3: don't know that. 83 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: He would be like, wow, that is cool. I like this. 84 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: I don't like anything. 85 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 2: I'm that you already are looking for an outcome from me, 86 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 2: and then you've already established what the outcome means. 87 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: I don't like it, especially if you got it on TikTok. 88 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 2: But the bid is one partner makes a bid for 89 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 2: connection by pointing out something insignificant, like look at that 90 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 2: bird the turn the other partner responds turning forward. A 91 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 2: partner who turns to look responds with interest or acknowledges 92 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 2: that the bid is seen as responsive and connected, or 93 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: acknowledges that you would then be a connected person if 94 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: you don't pay attention and don't care. A partner who ignores, dismisses, 95 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 2: or gets annoyed by the comment is not seen as engaged. 96 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 2: That seems obvious to me. Okay, I'm either into what 97 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 2: you're pointing out or I'm not. But I think that 98 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 2: the amount of how much I'm into it would matter 99 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 2: on the amount of interest in what you're pointing out. 100 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 2: Like if you're pointing out that you're choking and I 101 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: turn away, then that's the problem. But if you're pointing 102 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 2: out that you're choking and then I try and save you, 103 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: call it, you know, for help and do the Heimli maneuver, 104 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 2: then I obviously care. But I mean that's different. Then Hey, look, 105 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 2: it's something very normal that you see every day. I 106 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 2: don't know that I would necessarily. I think it comes 107 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 2: down to not everything that my partner says is the 108 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 2: most brilliant thing I've ever heard, And that doesn't make 109 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 2: me a bad person. That just means like we're living together, 110 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 2: we're together every day. We spend all these hours and 111 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 2: minutes together. So if you point out something mundane, I 112 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 2: might not necessarily get up from my laptop to run 113 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 2: to the window every single time. But I don't think 114 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 2: that makes me inattentive. 115 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: Does it. That's what they're saying. But I don't know. 116 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 3: I feel like you and my husband, Hobby are very 117 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 3: logical people that you would take it a little too 118 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 3: far over this dumb trend, like I'm just asking you 119 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 3: to pay attention for five seconds and look at this bird. 120 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 2: So the bird test is a simplified way to illustrate 121 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: concepts from the Gotman Institute. Doctor John Gottman's research found 122 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 2: that happy couples turn toward each other's bits for connection 123 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 2: eighty six percent of the time. In contrast, couples who 124 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: are headed for divorce only turned towards these bits about 125 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 2: thirty three eight percent of the time. A positive reaction 126 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 2: suggests a healthy and supportive relationship where partners feel seen 127 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 2: and heard. A negative reaction can indicate a lack of attention, 128 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 2: emotional distance, or that the relationship might be in trouble considerations. 129 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 2: The test can be applied to anything, not just birds. 130 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 2: It works in various relationship not just romantic ones. While 131 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 2: the theory has a basis in relationship science, it's a 132 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 2: simplified tool factor. It's like partner being tired, distracted, or 133 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 2: genuinely uninterested in birds can lead to a negative reaction 134 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: that isn't a true reflection of the relationship's health. Some 135 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 2: argue that constantly using the tests for minor things could 136 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: become annoying over time. That's the other thing is I 137 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 2: feel like you're going to try this many many times 138 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 2: and then either you're gonna get a false positive where 139 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,359 Speaker 2: finally someone picks up on it is like oh cool, 140 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: another bird, or or they're gonna get annoyed with you, 141 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: and that it's not really a test of whether they care. 142 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 2: They're just like, why are you using a stupid internet 143 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 2: test on me? 144 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: I don't do trends or tests. I really don't. You 145 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: don't do tests. I'm very see. I am very a 146 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: testy person. 147 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 2: I know. 148 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 3: I wanted to say that five minutes ago, but I 149 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 3: got scared. I am very testy, but I don't like 150 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 3: doing them for the show. Like I don't doing them 151 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 3: for like the TikTok or like the like look at this, 152 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 3: I'm gonna try to get you. 153 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to get you. But you're not a 154 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: prank cop. 155 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: I'm not a prank people. No, I'm pranks, but I 156 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 3: don't test people to their limits. That's true that I 157 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 3: have a failing this. I just I think this is 158 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 3: gonna set you up for failure. It is because most 159 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,919 Speaker 3: people are not all that impressed by looking at a bird, 160 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 3: so so like you needed like like, hey, look at 161 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 3: this amazing adult video I found, Like boom, I'm paying attention, 162 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: like look at the airplane. 163 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: Look there's an airplane. What kind of airplanes? 164 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 2: And now I'm paying attention And I granted that's about me, 165 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 2: but it's like, look at how I look in this, 166 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 2: in this new very revealing outfit. I'm paying attention, Like 167 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 2: like come on, like come on, like, let's let's come 168 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 2: up with ways that Like if you walk in a 169 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 2: room and you're like, look at the new lingerie that 170 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 2: I purchased and I don't even turn to look that 171 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 2: I failed the test, like Jesson, if you walk in 172 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 2: a new lingerie and new skims and Mike the mechanic 173 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 2: has now Harry specified which Mike I'm talking about, because 174 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 2: if military Mike walked in, that's weird. But if Mike 175 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,239 Speaker 2: the mechanic walked in and or whatever and he didn't 176 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: even acknowledge you, now that's bad. But if you're like, 177 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 2: look at the pigeon and it's just pigeoning and he 178 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: doesn't turn to look at you, I don't know that. 179 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 2: I think your relationship is doomed. 180 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 4: No, I don't think so I think it's like situational too, 181 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 4: Like I know if he's in his phone, like he 182 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 4: is a very one track mind, like it's very we 183 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 4: do not multitest very well. So like if he's in 184 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,679 Speaker 4: his phone, I know that I cannot tell him anythingcause 185 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 4: he's not paying attention like anything. 186 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: You'd be like, look at that house is on fire, 187 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: and he like won't even hear me. I don't know. 188 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 2: Maybe I'm just flailing at this test, and I'm just 189 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 2: publicly proclaiming that I'm flailing at this test, and everyone's 190 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 2: listening now going, this is why you're not in a relationship, dude, 191 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 2: because because if she points out the bird, look at 192 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 2: the damn bird, and I'm like, yeah, but I'd fall 193 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 2: for this. I would fall for the skitch in the 194 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: lives here because I wouldn't pay. I don't necessarily think 195 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 2: I would be impressed by a bird, like give me 196 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 2: something better, Like, hey, look at the lion walking down 197 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 2: the street, Like okay. 198 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: Right now, we look at that zebra. Yeah wow, Like. 199 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 2: Like I'm about to tell you about monkeys that got 200 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 2: released and have herpes and hepatitis. 201 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: Look at the monkey that hepatatia. 202 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 2: Now I am now let me see where that is, 203 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 2: so I don't go anywhere near it, don't pet the monkey. 204 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: You know now? 205 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 2: That is that we should call this the herpes monkey test. Okay, 206 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 2: if you poured out a herpes monkey, I don't look, and. 207 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,599 Speaker 1: I'm not impressed by that, and I'm not trying to 208 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: avoid it. If you're not interested in seeing a monkey 209 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: with herpes, we have 210 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 2: Relationship, right, we have a serious bra or if I 211 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,719 Speaker 2: run towards it, let's do headlines, man,