Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it's Lyle.
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Speaker 2: the episode description as well. The live shows are are
Speaker 2: very fun, they're very geko wee, and.
Speaker 1: I hope to see you there. All right, let's get
Speaker 1: into the episode.
Speaker 3: Hi, Hello, what's up cooking some chickens? How are you
Speaker 3: doing tonight?
Speaker 1: I'm feeling good. My socks are wet. I've run out
Speaker 1: of clean socks. And normally when people run out of
Speaker 1: clean socks, what do they usually do, Alex, the laundry?
Speaker 1: They do the laundry, answer their socks. What's what they
Speaker 1: normally do. What do you think I've been doing?
Speaker 3: Sounds like you have not been doing your laundry.
Speaker 1: I have not been doing my laundry. Why do you
Speaker 1: think I'm not doing my laundry?
Speaker 3: It's a great caution. Do you have in house washer
Speaker 3: dryer or do you go to a laundromat?
Speaker 1: I mean it's it's as there's one in where I live,
Speaker 1: but it's upstairs and I'm downstairs. Effort, Alex, How can
Speaker 1: I get you today? Is there anything in particular that
Speaker 1: you called in to talk about?
Speaker 3: Yes, you wanted to keep it light and positive today,
Speaker 3: so I wanted to talk about the benefits of not
Speaker 3: having a traditional parent daughter relationship.
Speaker 1: Okay, in what ways? How would you define a non
Speaker 1: traditional parent daughter relationship?
Speaker 3: I think a good example would be like that guy
Speaker 3: who went to the strip club with his mom, and
Speaker 3: I feel like mine is very similar, but I have
Speaker 3: changed mine in the way that my mom has like
Speaker 3: joined my rave family.
Speaker 1: Your mom has joined your rave family?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what a enture to her first festival this year
Speaker 3: and she just had the best time. And so now
Speaker 3: when we go to the raves and go to the shows,
Speaker 3: we always bring her with us. And I do have
Speaker 3: to say she is usually the best dressed for the event.
Speaker 1: Okay, what does she wear that makes her the best dressed?
Speaker 3: This summer, she actually made all her own outfits. She
Speaker 3: made these like purple fuzzy crotchless chaps and then wore
Speaker 3: like super sparkly underwear and she had one of those
Speaker 3: like fuzzy led light up coats. I live in Alaska
Speaker 3: and it gets really chilly, so her whole thing is
Speaker 3: layer so she changes her outfits throughout the day, so
Speaker 3: it's like less clothes, shiny all the way to fuzzy.
Speaker 3: It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1: What is the raves scene like in Alaska?
Speaker 3: It's on the return. I would say COVID really killed it.
Speaker 3: And in the last maybe like six months, it's become
Speaker 3: a lot more prevalent with shows. It's all local, you know.
Speaker 3: I can't say that there's a lot of bigs part.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised that COVID killed I'm surprised that anyone in
Speaker 1: Alaska has COVID, Like, how did it even get over there?
Speaker 1: Alaska is like all the way and four It's like
Speaker 1: not even in a place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I heard you were coming here for your tour,
Speaker 3: and I have to say, I'm very excited.
Speaker 1: Well we'll see, we'll see. We haven't booked in Alaska
Speaker 1: place yet, but we're working on it anyway. Okay, So
Speaker 1: you have this non traditional relationship with your mom. Has
Speaker 1: it always been that way? What is your relationship with
Speaker 1: your mom typically been? Like it says that you're twenty nine,
Speaker 1: so you've had, you know, a long relationship with her.
Speaker 1: How has it helved over the year. Y?
Speaker 3: I think I was I was more of a daddy's girl,
Speaker 3: and then my father passed away, and you know, take
Speaker 3: advantage of the parent you have left create a better
Speaker 3: relationship that we've been just like figuring out ways to
Speaker 3: communicate better and spend time together better and like in
Speaker 3: healthier ways. So we're not, you know, frustrated by each other.
Speaker 1: Had you guys been frustrated with each other pretty often beforehand?
Speaker 3: Definitely? I think we just don't. We're very similar and
Speaker 3: stubborn and it just doesn't communicate very well.
Speaker 1: In what ways? Would you say that you guys are stubborn.
Speaker 3: Just like sticking to your opinion and having strong opinions,
Speaker 3: you know, and that can butt heads. And I think
Speaker 3: in my household with my history. It's like quick to
Speaker 3: frustration and anger, just you know, being that being my
Speaker 3: mom instead of someone I'm just trying to have a
Speaker 3: conversation with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. I have to ask this.
Speaker 1: Did you and your mom do drugs together?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 3: My mom actually grows mushrooms.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 3: We've also taken Mollie together, which was really fun. But yeah,
Speaker 3: my mom grows mushrooms. I feel like that's what she's
Speaker 3: She partakes a lot more than I do in.
Speaker 1: That particularly, really, so she was turning you on.
Speaker 3: I came home a couple oh ten.
Speaker 1: Mm hm, you were gonna say you came home.
Speaker 3: I came home a couple of weeks ago, and I
Speaker 3: was staying over at someone else's house. And when I
Speaker 3: came home, I pulled up in the driveway and her
Speaker 3: apart were we live in a four pleques. I live
Speaker 3: in a different unit, And when I pulled up in
Speaker 3: the driveway, her apartment was all lit up in lights
Speaker 3: and I could hear music. And I came inside and
Speaker 3: she had invited over like five other people from the
Speaker 3: the like rave scene that we hang out, the group,
Speaker 3: the family that we hang out with, and they were
Speaker 3: all vibing out and having a chill mushroom Sunday in
Speaker 3: the living room upstairs, and that was it was a
Speaker 3: very pleasant surprise to you know, have all these people
Speaker 3: hanging out and having a good time and knowing that
Speaker 3: I don't have to be like a center catalyst to
Speaker 3: bring them together.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, you know I have to. I'm curious about this
Speaker 1: because I think traditionally, well, okay, so these these people
Speaker 1: that your mom had over when you came to her house,
Speaker 1: were they your friends before and then your mom came
Speaker 1: into the scene.
Speaker 3: Yes, we have a organized kickball games in the summer
Speaker 3: and we have like a very centralized friend group and
Speaker 3: then our rave family's like built around that. So she's
Speaker 3: met them through the kickball But yeah, they were mine
Speaker 3: more of my friends first.
Speaker 1: I think you Well, I was going to Your perspective
Speaker 1: on this is really interesting because I think in some
Speaker 1: situations people could look at this like, oh, my mom
Speaker 1: is like stealing my friends, or they would feel like
Speaker 1: jealous about it. But you have the complete opposite perspective.
Speaker 1: You're actually glad that somebody who is important to you
Speaker 1: in your life is integrating with other people who were
Speaker 1: important to you in your life and you view it
Speaker 1: as a positive thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely view myself as someone who tries to
Speaker 3: bring good people together. You know, Alaska's really small and
Speaker 3: it can be really hard to make new friends. You know,
Speaker 3: only have so many options. So that's kind of why
Speaker 3: I organize the kickball too. It's like I just want
Speaker 3: people to you know, be friends with all these other
Speaker 3: people and we can create like a good community, which
Speaker 3: is kind of tying into the EDM thing as well.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's interesting because you're now that you're
Speaker 1: twenty nine, it's like you don't really your relationship with
Speaker 1: your parents kind of naturally changes because you don't really
Speaker 1: need your mom to like be your your mom as
Speaker 1: much as you did, you know, when you were growing up,
Speaker 1: and for her to take this role in your life,
Speaker 1: like as you know, as a friend that you hang
Speaker 1: out with all your other friends that do mushrooms with
Speaker 1: is an interesting development of that relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I completely agree. That's how I look at it too,
Speaker 3: and I think it's been a really positive thing. We're
Speaker 3: really looking forward to festivals next year. We have one
Speaker 3: big one, but then we kind of like do our
Speaker 3: own thing out camping with like generators and speakers, so
Speaker 3: it'll be really nice to have her around for that
Speaker 3: time too.
Speaker 1: Has there been any like any cons or anything weird
Speaker 1: about integrating your mom into your life in this way.
Speaker 3: I'm always kind of nervous, like what if she you know,
Speaker 3: she's an adult and she can make her own choices,
Speaker 3: But what if she did choose to like sleep with
Speaker 3: one of my friends. I think that would be a
Speaker 3: con I don't think she would, but I've always kind
Speaker 3: of viewed that as like, I don't know if I
Speaker 3: would be comfortable with that.
Speaker 1: Hmmmm.
Speaker 3: Why Why would they like to hit on her and
Speaker 3: be like, Oh, it's your mom?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hm. Why do you feel like that would
Speaker 1: make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 3: I think it depends on the person, right, Like if
Speaker 3: it was someone who did it and then like kept
Speaker 3: throwing it into my face for the rest of my life,
Speaker 3: like who I had sex with your mom? You know,
Speaker 3: like that it would be kind of like my barrier.
Speaker 3: Like I think it's funny when people can be like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's at your mom's house last weekend, you know, hanging
Speaker 3: out and doing mushrooms in the fort, which is like
Speaker 3: a positive thing. With the other thing I could see
Speaker 3: it being positive, but I don't know. I just I'm
Speaker 3: nervous if that were to happen how I would react.
Speaker 1: M Now, if your mom, let's say, like, is it
Speaker 1: just a hookup thing that would bother you? Like if
Speaker 1: somebody from this group started like seriously dating your mom,
Speaker 1: how would that feel?
Speaker 3: I don't know. My mom has a tendency to like
Speaker 3: she dated our like a bouncer at one of the
Speaker 3: regular bars that we go to, and so I think
Speaker 3: that would actually be more comfortable for me, which sounds weird,
Speaker 3: but you know, she's been single for like ten years now,
Speaker 3: maybe a little bit more and live your best life.
Speaker 3: I just don't want it to negatively impact mine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is an interesting issue because a lot of
Speaker 1: the way that you're integrating your mom into your life
Speaker 1: is very much a I would say, like a celebration
Speaker 1: of her as a person in your life who has
Speaker 1: her own independent identity outside of just being your mother.
Speaker 1: And you've integrated her into your friend group and you know,
Speaker 1: into this this rave scene, which I'm sure is very
Speaker 1: exciting for her, but you have this fear of it
Speaker 1: extending into this like sexual romantic place with the rest
Speaker 1: of your friend group, which you know, I can, I can,
Speaker 1: I can. I can understand why people bragging about fucking
Speaker 1: your mom would be a not pleasant thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like I said, I don't think it'll ever happen,
Speaker 3: but you know, you had asked, and I think that
Speaker 3: was my honest answer.
Speaker 1: Mm hm. Is this something you've ever talked to your
Speaker 1: mom about?
Speaker 3: No, I have talked to my therapist about it.
Speaker 1: What did they say.
Speaker 3: Never my mother. She The advice she gave me was
Speaker 3: it's just very simple. It was like, you know, re
Speaker 3: react to it and let your body process it, and
Speaker 3: just communicate whatever happens with her and hopefully you guys
Speaker 3: can work it out. She knows that we don't communicate
Speaker 3: very well, so we came up with some like tips
Speaker 3: and tricks for going if that situation were to arise.
Speaker 3: But fingers crossed.
Speaker 4: It does not.
Speaker 1: Can I hear what these tips and tricks are.
Speaker 3: One of them was like writing down ideas like kind
Speaker 3: of like almost like in a like a you know,
Speaker 3: just like notes, so if you did get flustered in
Speaker 3: the conversation, you could just draw back to that and
Speaker 3: make sure that you guys are staying on track and
Speaker 3: it's not just like exploding, And the other one was
Speaker 3: maybe writing her a letter instead, since I you know,
Speaker 3: we communicate well over text, just not in person. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: so like writing her a letter, so it's like more
Speaker 3: than just a text message that someone can like look
Speaker 3: at on their phone and ignore.
Speaker 1: Right, right. You can also you can collect your thoughts
Speaker 1: a little bit better when you have some time to
Speaker 1: write them down and prepare them. Yeah, exactly, why do
Speaker 1: you why do you feel like you like I'm prepared? Sure? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so what I was gonna say just now is like
Speaker 1: this is into the more I'm talking about it though,
Speaker 1: it's very interesting because you have integrated your mom into
Speaker 1: your life in this you know, in this way. Why
Speaker 1: do you feel like you have trouble communicating with her?
Speaker 3: I think it's mostly just a childhood thing. She's one
Speaker 3: of eleven kids, and so her family is like a
Speaker 3: yelling family, right, They never really like you don't you're crying,
Speaker 3: You don't sit down and talk to you mom about
Speaker 3: your feelings. You just shut up and sit down and
Speaker 3: need dinner because there's eleven of you.
Speaker 1: And is that the uh? Does she bring that energy
Speaker 1: into your family when when you were growing up.
Speaker 3: I think there was definitely like a conscious effort to
Speaker 3: have conversations. I think when it came to like serious topics, uh,
Speaker 3: they were just not handled as well as they could
Speaker 3: have been. And it always gets kind of ugly. I
Speaker 3: think again, like you know, just a wolfing stubborn you
Speaker 3: don't want to like give on either side about what
Speaker 3: you're arguing about.
Speaker 1: Right. You mentioned you guys both being stubborn. Has that
Speaker 1: has this gotten like has this communication issue gotten like
Speaker 1: better as you've your relationship has progressed and as you've
Speaker 1: degraded her to your rave family, I would say yes.
Speaker 3: I think seeing her and being able to interact with
Speaker 3: her in a way that is more like friendly and
Speaker 3: just like relaxing or you know, partying or whatever it
Speaker 3: is kind of when you have enough of those interactions,
Speaker 3: I feel like it's changed the way I see her
Speaker 3: when I speak to her. Yeah, I don't. I haven't
Speaker 3: called my mom mom in like, I don't know, six
Speaker 3: and a half years. I call her by her name.
Speaker 3: People think that's weird, but it's just when we started
Speaker 3: attending bars together. It was something I did because I
Speaker 3: didn't I just didn't want to be like mom across
Speaker 3: the bar, you know.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, so you've been calling her by her first name
Speaker 1: for six years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think kind of having that separation of
Speaker 3: your mother versus you know, this another adult person, and
Speaker 3: having enough of those interactions has kind of like helped
Speaker 3: rewire my brain. So when I see her and we
Speaker 3: are talking, I don't just think of her as like
Speaker 3: my annoying mother who wants you know, A B and
Speaker 3: C and uh. It's it's just allowed me to like
Speaker 3: actually have a conversation. I don't know what it's like
Speaker 3: on her end, but she also seems to communicate a
Speaker 3: lot better with me as well.
Speaker 1: All yeah, I was gonna ask like about her end,
Speaker 1: like how do you think she feels about you calling
Speaker 1: her by her name instead of calling her your mom?
Speaker 3: She doesn't mind it. We've had convers stations about it.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people who think it's weird and
Speaker 3: they'll be like why do like why do you call
Speaker 3: her that? And I'm like, that's her second name, Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: she's my mom, but we I don't know. I just
Speaker 3: I feel like once that kind of like high school
Speaker 3: teenage mothering situation turned off, I just turned the name off.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you calling her by her real name,
Speaker 1: which you're saying, is giving you a more I guess,
Speaker 1: three dimensional portrait of her in your head, seeing her
Speaker 1: as more of her own person than just as your mom.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's helped you guys' relationship.
Speaker 3: I don't think I noticed a difference in the beginning
Speaker 3: as much as I do now, And I don't really
Speaker 3: know what, you know, what exactly came into play with that,
Speaker 3: but I I think in the beginning it was just like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm at the bar with my mom. I don't want
Speaker 3: other people to see her at my mom and Kate,
Speaker 3: you know whatever.
Speaker 1: So a part of it was like in service of her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean she's you know, we we, like I said,
Speaker 3: we frequent the same bar, and if she's if she's
Speaker 3: on like a date there and I just so happened
Speaker 3: to also be going there. I don't want to walk
Speaker 3: up and be like hey mom and.
Speaker 5: He's like, oh you you have.
Speaker 3: Kids, like you know, I just kind of erased that
Speaker 3: part out and just call her Liz because we've had
Speaker 3: that happen before, where she's like on a date and
Speaker 3: I walk up and then you know, at the end
Speaker 3: of the night, we I asked her if she needed
Speaker 3: a ride, and she was like, oh, that's so nice,
Speaker 3: and she's like, yeah, the daughter, you know, but I
Speaker 3: didn't he wouldn't know that because I didn't call her mom.
Speaker 1: This is really fascinating to me because this is like,
Speaker 1: you know, there is something really especially you know, when
Speaker 1: you become like an adult adult, there is something to
Speaker 1: be said about you. You really upgrade your relationship with
Speaker 1: your parents the more you can see them outside of
Speaker 1: the context of them being your parents. But then within that,
Speaker 1: how do you also maintain you know, I mean, the
Speaker 1: fact that they are your parents and that is its
Speaker 1: own special relationship. It's an interesting push and pull. So
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, and I was kind
Speaker 1: of holding on to it for a bit. Now, you
Speaker 1: have done Molly and mushrooms with your mother, I assume
Speaker 1: several times with all the raves and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, probably probably like three or four times significantly. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but like you know, at home chilling with all her
Speaker 3: fuck shitty, we probably like ten or twelve.
Speaker 1: And And have you ever done Molly your mushrooms with
Speaker 1: just her or is it always in a group setting?
Speaker 3: Yes? I have just her. Yeah, we've we've done that
Speaker 3: we did like the music festival. And then another significant
Speaker 3: time was we actually in the four plexat we have,
Speaker 3: there's a Airbnb also, and so instead of my mom
Speaker 3: renting out the airbnb that night, she just left it
Speaker 3: open and we turned it into like kind of like
Speaker 3: a like a DJ room and like put a couple
Speaker 3: of DJs in there and had like lights and stuff,
Speaker 3: and we had a bunch of our friends over and
Speaker 3: and that was a pretty significant time as well.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about like just well, okay, so let me
Speaker 1: here's what I'm getting at is like and if you know,
Speaker 1: for me, I've experienced, like you know, Molly mushrooms. There
Speaker 1: they are like you know, you said your and your
Speaker 1: mom have trouble like communicating with each other. And to me,
Speaker 1: like Molly is like, it's just the fucking ultimates. Here's
Speaker 1: everything on my chest and every vulnerable vulnerability I have
Speaker 1: to give. Let me just throw it out there, like
Speaker 1: it really kind of primes your brain in that sense.
Speaker 1: And I guess it. I have very limited experience with mushrooms,
Speaker 1: but I assume it does a similar thing. And have
Speaker 1: you had any interactions with your mom both of you
Speaker 1: guys being on these these drugs that kind of enhance
Speaker 1: your tendency for vulnerability and sharing. Has that brought up
Speaker 1: anything in in this your guys' relationship, or like any
Speaker 1: thing that you guys have been talking about, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm kind of asking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, No, I totally get that. No, I don't
Speaker 3: really feel like it has more chillen like at home
Speaker 3: with the mushrooms, like you said, like it is, it's
Speaker 3: not the same as far as like you said, still
Speaker 3: your guts and tell everything. But I do think it
Speaker 3: makes things easier, just like in my mind more clear
Speaker 3: and I'm able to communicate better.
Speaker 1: So what helps you communicate better with her?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I can say that we had one experience at
Speaker 3: a music festival where she wanted to have a conversation
Speaker 3: about something, but for me, it was just kind of
Speaker 3: triggering with my dad, and so I just didn't feel
Speaker 3: comfortable sharing that moment with her in that time. You know,
Speaker 3: it's supposed to be like a positive space for me,
Speaker 3: So I kind of shut that down and we I
Speaker 3: tried to revisit it after, but she couldn't really figure
Speaker 3: out why it was significant. I don't know if she
Speaker 3: was telling the truth and she just didn't want to
Speaker 3: talk about it, or you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So she in that music festival environment, like had she
Speaker 1: was on what's molly or mushrooms or something like that,
Speaker 1: and yeah, this thing that she really wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about was like brought up into her mind, but it
Speaker 1: was too intense for you at the time, so you
Speaker 1: didn't you didn't have the conversation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. I find that mushrooms make me really emotional,
Speaker 3: like I feel things a lot deeper. And so while
Speaker 3: having those conversations is great, if they ever veer, like
Speaker 3: to one side or the other in a negative way,
Speaker 3: I would not like to get kind of trapped in that.
Speaker 3: You know, my brain tends to reprocess those things a lot,
Speaker 3: so it's something I try to avoid. We did later
Speaker 3: that night, have a good situation. We were like at the
Speaker 3: stage and she had not worn her glasses, and so
Speaker 3: the artists had put up on the screens a bunch
Speaker 3: of words, like a bunch of like self care and
Speaker 3: self love mantras, and we were all supposed to say
Speaker 3: it together as a crowd, and she couldn't read them
Speaker 3: because she had lost her glasses. So I would read
Speaker 3: them to her, and so it was kind of like
Speaker 3: we were saying it to each other and the last
Speaker 3: one was I love you, and that was really cute,
Speaker 3: you know, and we were holding hands and I was like, damn,
Speaker 3: I can't remember the last time I held my mother's hand,
Speaker 3: and had to have been like fifteen years.
Speaker 1: When was this.
Speaker 3: This was the first weekend of September. This year was
Speaker 3: our first year we actually have a real quote unquote
Speaker 3: real for Alaska DM Music Festival. The first year I
Speaker 3: think went really well. It's called Spectrum. It's pretty cool.
Speaker 3: I'm really excited to go back next year.
Speaker 1: So does any like that your mom had that thing
Speaker 1: that she wanted to bring up, those kind of personal
Speaker 1: and you didn't really want to talk about. Does any
Speaker 1: part of you, either at of curiosity or out of
Speaker 1: anything like desire to in the future get your mom
Speaker 1: in a place where you guys can talk about whatever
Speaker 1: that thing was.
Speaker 3: I kind of brought it up to her and she
Speaker 3: had said that it like I was like, hey, you
Speaker 3: remember and you wanted to talk about blah blah blah,
Speaker 3: and she was like, yeah, kind of, I don't really remember,
Speaker 3: like why it was significant to me at that time,
Speaker 3: So it's not I guess it's just not something that's
Speaker 3: but it's kind of gonna kind of like you know,
Speaker 3: you get a light bulb and then it's like gone.
Speaker 3: I don't think it was something super serious as much
Speaker 3: as like a memory.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's this is it. This is really cool.
Speaker 1: It's great that you, like, I don't know, it sounds
Speaker 1: like there's you're you're figuring out a lot of stuff,
Speaker 1: but that you know, you and your mom are like
Speaker 1: very heavily in each other's lives and yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: finding these moments with each other.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel really lucky to have cultivated that type
Speaker 3: of relationship. And like I said, we're very similar and
Speaker 3: she loves to host and so do I, and so
Speaker 3: it works out really well to live so close. And
Speaker 3: we definitely have an interesting, unique type of relationship. But
Speaker 3: I think for us it's been really positive.
Speaker 1: Alex. Is there anything else that like you want to
Speaker 1: say about this or any other kind of you know,
Speaker 1: aspects of this that you felt like we didn't tell
Speaker 1: talk about or anything at all like that.
Speaker 3: Uh No, I don't think so. I just wanted to
Speaker 3: like bring it to people's attention because I found the
Speaker 3: you know, I found the strip club thing with the
Speaker 3: mom so interesting. I was like, damn, is that something.
Speaker 2: I would go do?
Speaker 3: Like I really had to think about it. And then
Speaker 3: also being able to be on the show was pretty
Speaker 3: pretty cool. Nice to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm thinking about a lot of the stuff you said, like,
Speaker 1: you know, how the fact that you call her by
Speaker 1: her first name and that's weird to some people, and like,
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of like I said, I mean,
Speaker 1: even how when you were telling me about how they
Speaker 1: your mom has your friends over without you, to have
Speaker 1: these rooms to kind of come over and they're hanging out,
Speaker 1: Like I can see why people would find stuff like
Speaker 1: that strange. And I'm really thinking about my own opinion
Speaker 1: on it, and like, well, why is it strange? Especially?
Speaker 1: I mean, you're twenty nine and can ask cold you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're twenty nine. Your mom's howell she is Okay. So
Speaker 1: you guys are both like grown, grown, grown ass adults,
Speaker 1: and so your relationship is at a point where it
Speaker 1: can reasonably take a lot of different forms.
Speaker 5: And.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know like what exactly is
Speaker 1: normal or kind of like the depth in which you
Speaker 1: can dive into with your parents, especially again, as you
Speaker 1: grow older and you look at them more three dimensionally.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if there is a
Speaker 1: weird or normal way to evolve that relationship. You know,
Speaker 1: it is kind of just whatever works for you. And
Speaker 1: it sounds like, you know, you had that really beautiful
Speaker 1: moment where you guys were doing those uh affirmations with
Speaker 1: her and holding each other's hands, and it seems like
Speaker 1: that's a, you know, a really beautiful and integral moment
Speaker 1: in your relationship that you wouldn't have gotten if you
Speaker 1: hadn't kind of made the extra steps to integrate her
Speaker 1: more into your life.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I told you, I actually live in the
Speaker 3: same fourplex as her. If you want to ask her questions,
Speaker 3: I could take the phone upstairs.
Speaker 1: Ooh hmm, give me one second. We have okay, let
Speaker 1: me thank you.
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 1: You know what. Yeah, let's talk to her for at
Speaker 1: least a little bit.
Speaker 3: A little bit and she's not here anymore. She was
Speaker 3: just here. She was in my apartment earlier in the call,
Speaker 3: trying to talk to me, So I thought she was home.
Speaker 1: Oh is she not here?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: Early or she came downstairs and was trying to talk
Speaker 3: to me and so I just came upstairs, but she's
Speaker 3: not here.
Speaker 1: Oh that's okay. Where do think she went?
Speaker 3: I'm not sure she likes to go to bars too,
Speaker 3: so she might just be having dinner or something. I
Speaker 3: think it's yeah, it's like six thirty. But that kind
Speaker 3: of ties into the side of like more of a friend, right,
Speaker 3: Like we live in the same building, but we don't
Speaker 3: live in the same apartments. Like I thought she was home,
Speaker 3: but I didn't know. We shared locations on the phone,
Speaker 3: so it's nice to be able to check, you know,
Speaker 3: see if somebody is home or not.
Speaker 1: Well, have her have her call in on her own phone.
Speaker 1: At some point, I'd love to talk to her. I
Speaker 1: don't know if she watches the show or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I love to talk to her.
Speaker 3: Okay, cool. I will check in with her about that
Speaker 3: on Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Do you have any siblings?
Speaker 3: I have one sibling.
Speaker 1: What's their relationship like with your mom or what's their
Speaker 1: place in all of this?
Speaker 3: Great question. She lives about five hours north of me,
Speaker 3: and she goes to college up there, and she and
Speaker 3: my mom also have a really good relationship. I don't
Speaker 3: think it's at all similar in the like non traditional ways.
Speaker 3: I think with her being in college and she's what
Speaker 3: twenty I think she's twenty two, twenty three, I think
Speaker 3: it just is more of that typical parent daughter relationship,
Speaker 3: you know, call for advice and come visit for holidays
Speaker 3: like she has. She stays in one of the guest
Speaker 3: bedrooms when she's here, but like that used to be
Speaker 3: her bedroom, So I think for her, the ideas are
Speaker 3: still very typical parent daughter relationship.
Speaker 1: How do you think she views your guys's relationship? Like
Speaker 1: does she? And like is she? Do you think she's
Speaker 1: envious and wants a kind of relationship like that? Do
Speaker 1: you think she kind of is doing her own thing?
Speaker 1: Like I guess what's your perspective on her perspective?
Speaker 3: That's a really good question. I've never really talked to
Speaker 3: her about it, but I don't I don't think there's
Speaker 3: any like I've never gotten like bad vibes coming from
Speaker 3: her about it. I think she views it as a
Speaker 3: positive thing as well. I think that having one parent
Speaker 3: also kind of plays into that, Like you're a lot
Speaker 3: more willing to just accept your other parent that you
Speaker 3: have last and just try and figure a way to
Speaker 3: have that positive relationship, which is what she does.
Speaker 5: Also, mm hmmm, what is.
Speaker 1: Your name again? Alex? Alex, thank you for sharing all
Speaker 1: of this stuff. This was really fascinating and I appreciate
Speaker 1: you being really open and you know, telling us all
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 4: Awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really nice to talk to you. I
Speaker 3: hope you have a good rest of the stream.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: I don't think so. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Alex. Yeah, that was fascinating. I really like,
Speaker 1: I don't know you're It's funny the last time I
Speaker 1: did ecstasy, I was thinking, I was like, what would
Speaker 1: this be like to do with my family? I don't
Speaker 1: know what I had that thought pop into my head,
Speaker 1: but that's what I thought, or like, you know, to
Speaker 1: do this with people who are like integral staples of
Speaker 1: my life, because it's that's such a fucking space, you know,
Speaker 1: being on on on ecstasy and like the the way
Speaker 1: it makes you feel and be so open and not
Speaker 1: in your head at all, there's be I think it'd
Speaker 1: be an interesting space to be in with, you know,
Speaker 1: someone like a parent I don't know, and yeah about
Speaker 1: like the whole this whole idea of like normalcy, Like
Speaker 1: what's normal? What's traditional? Like, yeah, it's probably not traditional
Speaker 1: to fucking do mushrooms with your parents, but I you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: when you get to that age, when you're like twenty nine,
Speaker 1: when you're like your own fully grown adults, and so
Speaker 1: is your parents, there is something to be said. I
Speaker 1: think about like diving into this new relationship with them again,
Speaker 1: seeing them as as something more than just your your parents.
Speaker 1: And I do I do wonder. I wish I could
Speaker 1: have gotten to talk to the mom, because I do
Speaker 1: wonder what her perspective is on a lot of this
Speaker 1: and how she kind of because that's a whole other thing,
Speaker 1: right from her perspective, Like what's it like? You know,
Speaker 1: you you you know, change this fucking kid's diaper, and
Speaker 1: you saw her tripping around as a toddler, and now
Speaker 1: you guys are doing mushrooms together. You've literally been with her,
Speaker 1: you're entire you know, everything ish about her life. Now
Speaker 1: you're entering this new lessia even that must be a
Speaker 1: really fascinating experience for her mother, you know. So, I
Speaker 1: don't know, this idea of normalcy is like it's making me, like,
Speaker 1: it's making me think to what degree do does normalcy
Speaker 1: or traditions, or a fear of breaking from that normal
Speaker 1: in that tradition, To what degree does that fear prevent
Speaker 1: you from having deep life experiences? Again, she talked about
Speaker 1: when she was at the festival with her mom and
Speaker 1: they were on some drugs and I think they were
Speaker 1: on drugs. I forget I think she mentioned that, but yeah, whatever,
Speaker 1: they were reading these affirmations to each other and holding
Speaker 1: each other's hands, and it was like, what a beautiful
Speaker 1: life moment? Could she have missed out on that moment
Speaker 1: if she had this fear of having a non traditional
Speaker 1: relationship with her mother. That's I don't know something I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about. To what degree these you know, deviation, a
Speaker 1: fear from deviating from what's always been and what's considered normal.
Speaker 1: To what degree does that close you off from things?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Hello, how can I help you to live?
Speaker 5: I heard people say you sound different on here? You
Speaker 5: really do?
Speaker 1: It's it's odd, m Well, you know, I would say
Speaker 1: you sound different, but I don't have any idea of
Speaker 1: how you normally sound. What is your name?
Speaker 5: That's fair? My name is ian Ian.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you?
Speaker 5: Well, I've been watching through your videos in Guatemala, and
Speaker 5: that's hilarious and awesome, especially when you're calling yourself at
Speaker 5: the toad.
Speaker 1: Ah, yes, yes, I was doing that. What's what's what's
Speaker 1: going on with you?
Speaker 5: Well, I've actually been I've been learning Spanish myself, and
Speaker 5: I've been thinking about leaving the country. But but there's
Speaker 5: a lot of you know, there's a lot that goes
Speaker 5: into that, and there's a lot of anxiety that goes
Speaker 5: along with that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are you anxious about?
Speaker 5: Well, you know, I love my family and I don't
Speaker 5: necessarily want to leave them behind, but I do want
Speaker 5: to have my own experiences.
Speaker 1: And are you are is this is this specifically about
Speaker 1: traveling alone?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 1: Well yeah, Okay, where are you planning on traveling to
Speaker 1: that you're afraid to go to?
Speaker 5: Uh? Well, I hadn't thought about Guatemala until I watched
Speaker 5: your videos, and that seems like a good option. But
Speaker 5: I had just been thinking about like Argentina or maybe
Speaker 5: somewhere in Mexico.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. And you were thinking about a quick trip
Speaker 1: or you were thinking about something that's months long. What
Speaker 1: what tell me your tell me your ideal travels that
Speaker 1: you are afraid to do.
Speaker 5: M I guess I'm really thinking about becoming an expat.
Speaker 5: I kind of just want to relocate and start afresh.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we're talking about leaving your family. Leaving your
Speaker 1: family not for the weekend.
Speaker 5: But yeah, for life.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're talking about leaving. We are talking about nuking
Speaker 1: your life, quitting your job, murdering your family or just
Speaker 1: or you don't have to murder them, but leaving them
Speaker 1: behind and going to Mexico and starting a new yes, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, that's a different conversation than just doing a
Speaker 1: little solo travels here and there. Why do you feel
Speaker 1: inclined to start a new life. What is exciting to
Speaker 1: you about that prospect?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I've always wanted to travel other places,
Speaker 5: and I'm a big practicing Spanish for about a year now,
Speaker 5: so I definitely want to focus somewhere that speaks Spanish.
Speaker 5: But I don't really have a lot holding me here
Speaker 5: besides my family. Like I'm twenty eight and I don't
Speaker 5: really like have much beside my dog.
Speaker 1: You know, Well, do you have your family, have kids?
Speaker 5: No? No, like my my parents and my brother.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, all right, yeah, it's different. I
Speaker 1: thought you thought that. I was like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: it's one thing too, because you can't. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: it's one thing to leave your you leave your children behind.
Speaker 1: You know, no, but you can leave it. It's very
Speaker 1: it's normal to leave your parents behind. Everyone usual. A
Speaker 1: lot of people do that. A lot of people leave
Speaker 1: their parents' house and start a new life. But you're
Speaker 1: a dick if it's your kids.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and see I actually moved out of my parents'
Speaker 5: house when I was sixteen, and like, I moved to
Speaker 5: Colorado and then I ended up in Illinois, and I
Speaker 5: like I got really homesick and Illinois up ended up
Speaker 5: coming back to Utah, and like, I really love my
Speaker 5: family of a lot.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're twenty eight and you're thinking about starting
Speaker 1: anew in Mexico. Yeah, is there other Is there any
Speaker 1: other aspect or thing that would prevent you from going,
Speaker 1: aside from just you don't want to be away from
Speaker 1: your parents.
Speaker 5: I mean, I am the manager of where I work,
Speaker 5: but that's not like a huge thing. They can find
Speaker 5: another manager.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I also don't think that what are you
Speaker 1: the manager of?
Speaker 5: So I work for a charity organization we take in
Speaker 5: clothing donations.
Speaker 1: And yeah, okay, well what would you want to do
Speaker 1: if you moved to Mexico?
Speaker 5: I mean I could be a cook, I could, I
Speaker 5: could work on a farm. I I could, I don't know,
Speaker 5: be a beach bum.
Speaker 1: Well listen, I'm gonna I'm gonna say a few things
Speaker 1: about this. First of all, despite what I said earlier,
Speaker 1: you don't actually have to kill your family to leave them.
Speaker 1: You can just simply leave and they will still be alive.
Speaker 1: You can still call your mound, you can still call
Speaker 1: your mother, you can still call your father. You can
Speaker 1: actually even still go from Mexico back to the United
Speaker 1: States to see them. Are you are they older?
Speaker 5: They are like a little over.
Speaker 1: Fifty, a little over fifty. Okay, have you stayed have you?
Speaker 1: What state do you live in?
Speaker 5: Utah?
Speaker 1: Okay? How long have you lived in Utah?
Speaker 5: For? It's kind of a weird conglomeration because I've moved
Speaker 5: so much in total, probably nineteen years.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you moved a lot. So I was going
Speaker 1: to ask you, is have you done a lot of traveling?
Speaker 1: I mean we're talking about completely you're talking about moving
Speaker 1: to a new place. Have you even visited other places
Speaker 1: outside of the US.
Speaker 5: I have never had a passport or anything. I've never
Speaker 5: been outside of the US.
Speaker 1: Do you have a passport right now?
Speaker 5: I don't.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's an issue, so I don't Usually I'm I'm
Speaker 1: doing a new thing where I'm trying not to tell
Speaker 1: people what to do. I'm gonna tell you what to do.
Speaker 1: Is that okay?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I think it would be a good I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna tell you what to do. I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you what what. I'm not going to tell you what
Speaker 1: to do. I'm gonna tell you what I think would
Speaker 1: be a good idea. I think it would be a
Speaker 1: good idea for you to take a trip. Do you
Speaker 1: have a little bit of money saved up?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay. Are you able to get time off of your job?
Speaker 1: I definitely, you said, definitely, Okay, great, take a trip.
Speaker 1: Don't because I think jumping to the grand fantasy of
Speaker 1: completely abandoning your life and starting a new attractive fantasy,
Speaker 1: we don't know what the reality looks like. Not to
Speaker 1: say that the reality wouldn't be similarly attractive. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say you shouldn't do it. But if you've never
Speaker 1: even if you've never even gone on a trip by
Speaker 1: yourself to a foreign country and fucked around there for like,
Speaker 1: you know, a week or two a weekend, even then,
Speaker 1: go do that, because obviously there's something within you, some
Speaker 1: desire to get out there and explore and have a
Speaker 1: psychedelic experience of a life outside of your routine of
Speaker 1: you know, gathering clothes and hanging out with your parents,
Speaker 1: which is a good desire to have. It's good. Well,
Speaker 1: we're a lot, you're alive, You're gonna be dead at
Speaker 1: some point. You should go out and do things. I
Speaker 1: think hmmm, and I think you think that too. I'm
Speaker 1: not just saying that because I think I think you
Speaker 1: think that too. That's why you're on the phone with
Speaker 1: a Get Go talking about whether or not you should
Speaker 1: abandon your life. So it would be a good idea
Speaker 1: to take a trip before you abandon everything.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to take a trip to?
Speaker 1: Where are we're going? Can I come?
Speaker 5: I mean I would that sounds amazing.
Speaker 1: I count as a lap pet a cage. Where do
Speaker 1: you want to go?
Speaker 5: Argentina?
Speaker 1: Argentina? Okay, what's stopping you from going?
Speaker 5: There. Uh, just that I haven't done it.
Speaker 1: Actually, wait, I actually know the answer. I forgot. I forgot.
Speaker 1: You don't have a passport. You need to do that
Speaker 1: as go get a passport. Do you know how to
Speaker 1: get a passport?
Speaker 5: I think you just go to the post office, right
Speaker 5: and like sell out some day work, get a picture.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's ye, that's that's that sounds about right. Okay,
Speaker 1: go do that. Go do that and then go to Argentina.
Speaker 1: Just do it if you can get if you cause
Speaker 1: when I asked you if you can get time off
Speaker 1: work you said definitely, So I know you can do it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, get your.
Speaker 1: Time off of work. Go to Argentina for a week.
Speaker 1: Do you know what a hostel is?
Speaker 5: Uh? Yeah, I've I've heard of them.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is not an ad. Go to hosteleworld dot
Speaker 1: com search for hostels in Argentina and go book a
Speaker 1: week at a hostel. Go there by yourself. Pack a
Speaker 1: little bag, put some clothes and a toothbrush and some
Speaker 1: ship in a bag. Book a plane ticket. Make sure
Speaker 1: you get your fucking passport and ship because you want
Speaker 1: to show without a passport, and go stay in a
Speaker 1: hostel in Argentina for a week and go into go
Speaker 1: into the lobby of the hostel, go up to someone
Speaker 1: and start just start talking to them, and they'll talk
Speaker 1: back to you, and other people will come and they'll
Speaker 1: start talking to you too, And then you guys can
Speaker 1: go out and drink somewhere, or go look at a
Speaker 1: cool statue of something. You'll have fun.
Speaker 5: I was actually curious what kind of I was curious
Speaker 5: what kind of preparation you did before you went to Guatemala, Like,
Speaker 5: did you like look it up a lot online?
Speaker 1: And I did very little. I was having an EXISTENTI
Speaker 1: I talked about this in the in that video that
Speaker 1: you were watch. I had an existential crisis, and I
Speaker 1: realized I looked at him. You know, you know what
Speaker 1: I did. I looked at my I looked at a map.
Speaker 1: I went to Google Maps, and I looked at where
Speaker 1: I am on the map, and I realized that I
Speaker 1: very seldom leave. I looked at the whole map and
Speaker 1: I and I looked at all these places. I looked
Speaker 1: at how fast the world was, and then I looked
Speaker 1: at where I am on the map, and I realized,
Speaker 1: I very seldomly leave a really tiny radius.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I have no idea when I'm going to
Speaker 6: die and I want to see stuff, so I should
Speaker 6: just start going and looking at stuff and getting.
Speaker 1: Out of that radius. It gets good. Good, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you are. And so I was like, I just need
Speaker 1: to get out of the radius. And so I booked
Speaker 1: the flight and I went on TikTok and I searched
Speaker 1: things to do and in Tiwaguanamala and I did a
Speaker 1: couple of them. But the real but but but to me,
Speaker 1: the real adventures uh lied in just talking to random
Speaker 1: people at the hostel and the folks you beat doing
Speaker 1: that walk it of course, you know, my my gecko
Speaker 1: videos get me into some adventures. I go out dressed
Speaker 1: like this and people just start talking to me. But
Speaker 1: I find, you know, adventures even when I'm not wearing
Speaker 1: the gecko costume, because because I was willing to go
Speaker 1: talk to some guy at my hostel bar and then
Speaker 1: we go out to some place and start talking to
Speaker 1: this person and these things. Just if you just put
Speaker 1: yourself in position for things to happen, and you're willing
Speaker 1: to talk to folks, you can get into some interesting
Speaker 1: things and another interesting It really doesn't matter how old
Speaker 1: you are either because there's people of all ages going
Speaker 1: around and doing this. So if it if it interests
Speaker 1: you at all to go out and find adventure, I
Speaker 1: I heavily encourage you to do it, especially because you
Speaker 1: answered definitely when I asked if you get time off?
Speaker 5: M Yeah, that's that's a lot to think about, and
Speaker 5: I definitely appreciate the encouragement. I you know, I guess
Speaker 5: I don't talk to a lot of people in general.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say I don't talk to people about this.
Speaker 5: I don't really talk a lot in general. I just
Speaker 5: kind of work and that's it.
Speaker 1: So, uh, you got like a Walter thought on.
Speaker 5: What now?
Speaker 1: Well, you know they ever see the movie The Secret
Speaker 1: Life of Walter Mitty? Oh No, is that a dick
Speaker 1: thing to say to someone that they have a Walter
Speaker 1: Midi thing. I think it's a compliment because I'm like
Speaker 1: imagining you going on all these Walter Midia adventures.
Speaker 5: I don't know what it means, but started coming from you,
Speaker 5: I'll take it as a compliment.
Speaker 1: I like that. Why don't you talk to a lot
Speaker 1: of people.
Speaker 5: I've just been my routine, you know. I graduated in
Speaker 5: twenty twelve and have been working.
Speaker 1: Since Okay, because let me ask you this final question.
Speaker 1: Since you graduated in twenty twelve, before that, when you
Speaker 1: were in high school and college and middle school, did
Speaker 1: you talk to people?
Speaker 5: Uh? Yeah, yeah, I guess I mean, yeah, when you're
Speaker 5: in school, Yeah, I kind of have to. And but yeah,
Speaker 5: this is definitely more social in that setting.
Speaker 7: But yeah, I think that the the the solo travel
Speaker 7: setting is very similar, right where it's like you have
Speaker 7: to so you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your name again?
Speaker 5: Ian?
Speaker 1: Ian? Ian? Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 1: to me or to God or to SpongeBob or to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 5: Called the SpongeBob. I'm an atheist, and you know I
Speaker 5: love you and just keep doing what you're doing.
Speaker 1: My mother fucking love you too. Ian. Good luck. Let
Speaker 1: me know if you if you if you end up
Speaker 1: actually going to Argentina, send me a d M. I
Speaker 1: want to know if you actually did it.
Speaker 5: Hell yeah, send me.
Speaker 1: A fucking photo of you. I want in three months
Speaker 1: from now, when you get your passport, I want to
Speaker 1: see that photo.
Speaker 5: All right, I'm gonna go get my passport. I'm working
Speaker 5: on it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing good, okay, good, all right, thank you Ian,
Speaker 1: Thank you. I am so fucked if that guy dies
Speaker 1: in Argentina, like like you know those people, you know,
Speaker 1: those people who like takes, who like die because they
Speaker 1: fell off of a cliff taking a selfie. I feel
Speaker 1: like he's gonna be like trying to take a selfie
Speaker 1: on a mountain to send to me and he's gonna die.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm I'm not putting that out into the universe,
Speaker 1: but okay, anyway, let's move on. Hello, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 4: I'm fine?
Speaker 5: How are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm doing all right. How can I get you today?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 4: Well, so sorry, I'm watching in a dark room. I
Speaker 4: was just calling. I listened to your show a bit,
Speaker 4: and I like, I hear a lot of folks kind
Speaker 4: of in their twenties and feeling like things are down
Speaker 4: and out. But I'm in my thirties and I just
Speaker 4: wanted to, I guess, give a bit of experience on
Speaker 4: how it can all be okay.
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear that. How how how can I
Speaker 1: be okay? You know, everyone thinks that I'm here to
Speaker 1: give people advice, but I'm I'm so much more interested
Speaker 1: in taking it than I am and giving it a
Speaker 1: that sounds well, sex, I'm gonna let you talk. I
Speaker 1: did those stupid.
Speaker 4: No no this is great. Well, first of all, I
Speaker 4: think that you're probably doing it right if you're doing
Speaker 4: something that you love, and I guess the main thing
Speaker 4: is saying yes to things that are positive, or saying
Speaker 4: yes to things that come into chants and not pushing
Speaker 4: them aside because you can't. So when I was in
Speaker 4: high school in early twenties, I did some drugs and
Speaker 4: kind of did some people wrong, and the best step
Speaker 4: I ever made was to say yes to the option
Speaker 4: to move from that city I was living in and
Speaker 4: say yes to software drugs then like pot instead of
Speaker 4: the other things. And then, of course things are roller coasters.
Speaker 4: They don't always go well. I tried college, but that
Speaker 4: wasn't great for my attentions. Then I think I've done
Speaker 4: a total of ten different industries in my life. But yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just been kind of kind of the philosophy after
Speaker 4: getting all of that out, of all that, just kind
Speaker 4: of getting rid of what ails me or what doesn't
Speaker 4: serve me, and then not being afraid to say yes.
Speaker 4: I'm constantly afraid I shouldn't say that, but at least
Speaker 4: like noticing it's a fear and counteracting it.
Speaker 1: So your life has been improved by saying no to
Speaker 1: hard drugs and yes to soft drugs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I don't know if that's that's not the
Speaker 4: whole thing. Maybe saying that's a that's a that's one set.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I think I assue where you're coming from. Your no.
Speaker 1: I think I see where you're coming from. You're just like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot to gain by uh, saying
Speaker 1: yes to the opportunities that present themselves to you within reason.
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally saying no to bad people, saying yes to
Speaker 4: people that are honest.
Speaker 1: And so tell me what in your life today? In
Speaker 1: your life, now, what's something recently you said yes to
Speaker 1: that you maybe weren't going to, but you did and
Speaker 1: it worked out.
Speaker 4: So I guess it's a few years ago now. But
Speaker 4: I went back to school when I was thirty. I
Speaker 4: was kind of just doing it to just get out
Speaker 4: and get a job. But in the process of that,
Speaker 4: one of the my professors, she was really kind and open,
Speaker 4: and she basically I had this problem. I had this
Speaker 4: problem in this internship that I was possibly going to
Speaker 4: try out. But I've never studied the subject before, and
Speaker 4: she told me just to talk to this guy, and
Speaker 4: she was kind of like the cool guy teacher on
Speaker 4: campus or whatever. So I was a little bit afraid,
Speaker 4: and I've never even worked in the subject before. So finally,
Speaker 4: after months and months of her telling me to, I
Speaker 4: just went and talked to him. And ever since then,
Speaker 4: like he'll approach a project and I've been working with
Speaker 4: him and something new and exciting will come out of it.
Speaker 4: It was first it was I got a cool scholarship,
Speaker 4: and then I ended up being able to travel and
Speaker 4: go overseas for a while, and that was pretty cool,
Speaker 4: and so I just kind of had to get over
Speaker 4: the fear of just talking to somebody about something I
Speaker 4: didn't know. And then yeah, and then it's all worked
Speaker 4: out pretty well. And so it's six seven years later,
Speaker 4: and I feel like I feel like there's still opportunities.
Speaker 4: There's still ways I can suck it up, for sure,
Speaker 4: and I have to fight myself on that one.
Speaker 1: But well, listen, thanks for calling in and you know,
Speaker 1: giving us, you know that that that perspective. Is there
Speaker 1: kind of anything else you wanted to add to this
Speaker 1: or or say to the people before we go?
Speaker 4: I guess. Just be kind to yourself. Know that no
Speaker 4: decision is final, but as long as you're looking out
Speaker 4: for you and yours and it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling uh not B. Thank you for
Speaker 1: calling B.
Speaker 4: That's the right.
Speaker 5: Have a good night you too.
Speaker 1: Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Never be can goes to his side's
Speaker 4: Teaching you aloud your life, but it's not friendly, an
Speaker 4: expert