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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick chum in an ad break from a

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Speaker 2: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend refused to cook for himself, so I dumped him.

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Speaker 4: I'm not your mom, So I.

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Speaker 3: Twenty seven female, was talking with my boyfriend thirty one male,

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Speaker 3: and he said that every night he doesn't want to

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Speaker 3: have to cook after his long day at work, so

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Speaker 3: he therefore will be eating at his mom's every night.

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Speaker 3: He also works from home, so he would not be

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Speaker 3: hanging out with me, and he is moving into his

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Speaker 3: house soon. By the way, this comes from Narrow opposite

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Speaker 3: fifty seven thirty seven And if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

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Speaker 3: Separate it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're here

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Speaker 3: to give good advice goofily, But we don't have all

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Speaker 3: the answers. We're just gonna guess what we would do

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Speaker 3: in this situation. So let us know what you would

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Speaker 3: do down below. Well, I can understand and appreciate that

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Speaker 3: it sucks to cook for yourself. It feels extremely unattractive

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Speaker 3: to have someone say that they don't want to cook

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Speaker 3: for themselves, especially after spending a decade cooking for myself

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Speaker 3: every meal. Every day, I work twelve hour shifts, and

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Speaker 3: I just think, how would this be if we were

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Speaker 3: together long term?

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Speaker 4: Would I do all the cooking? I guess probably that's

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Speaker 4: a deal breaker.

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Speaker 3: I like cooking for my partner, but it sort of

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Speaker 3: seems like it's not something that he's ever going to do.

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Speaker 4: Maybe the question is, would I be.

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Speaker 3: The a hole if I break up with him over

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Speaker 3: text and tell him why honestly when I do? Or

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Speaker 3: is it less a holeish to say it's me not him?

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Speaker 3: For context, I am his girlfriend, and we do have a.

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Speaker 4: Couple of edits.

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Speaker 3: But what's our answer to that for so far?

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Speaker 4: No, I mean the fact that she's already thinking about it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like, probably not that invested in this relationship anyway.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder how long they've been together.

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Speaker 4: I can't imagine it was that long. Yeah, you know, I.

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Speaker 3: Feel like you should break up in person? No, Yes,

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Speaker 3: overtext would be the only way that you're a whole.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd be honest though too. Actually, I think.

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Speaker 5: You can say, yeah, I feel like you weren't you know,

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Speaker 5: I didn't feel like we were partners.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, didn't feel like you were contributing equally.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And yeah, like I was worried that I would

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Speaker 5: this burden would be placed on me for the rest

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Speaker 5: of our relationship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: I think I think you would be the hole for

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Speaker 3: doo good over text and for lying and saying that

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Speaker 3: it's him or it's you not him, but not the

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Speaker 3: a whole for being honest.

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Speaker 4: Do you have a little edits?

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Speaker 1: Am I the whole of it?

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Speaker 4: If I tell him that it physically repulsed me when

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Speaker 4: he said it, Well, yeah, we know. Maybe don't have

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Speaker 4: to go that far. Yeah, Yeah, we can still be nice.

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Speaker 1: We can.

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Speaker 4: We can tell the truth, yeah, but not the full truth. Sure.

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Speaker 3: At at number two, for anyone asking how long we've

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Speaker 3: been together, we've been dating for about a month, talking

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Speaker 3: seeing each other for about four months.

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Speaker 4: Oh you break up with this guy?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you're good, You're fine, You're totally fine.

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Speaker 3: He was a virgin and I'm taking this breakup thing

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Speaker 3: seriously because I feel horrible breaking his heart. But I

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Speaker 3: am also thoroughly disgusted at number three. He's a work

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Speaker 3: from home accountant. I commute an hour and work as

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Speaker 3: a nurse in a very physically and emotionally demanding field.

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Speaker 3: I expect my partner to pick up the slack, but

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Speaker 3: I'm exhausted as I would do for him. When he's

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Speaker 3: said this to me, it was like a bomb being

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Speaker 3: dropped on me. Every excuse I had made for him

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Speaker 3: just sort of shattered. I can't even muster the force

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Speaker 3: to text him back because I'm so repulsed. But I

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Speaker 3: have three night shifts coming up, so I guess I'll

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Speaker 3: just pretend for now we do have an update, but

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Speaker 3: really quick on that. I feel like there's a way

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Speaker 3: to be nice about it. Yeah, maybe have a conversation

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Speaker 3: even at first, and you could still have a conversation

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Speaker 3: with the idea that you're still gonna break up with him,

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Speaker 3: but like, yeah, maybe ask him like you know what

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Speaker 3: that might look like in the future, and then you

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Speaker 3: can be like, yeah, I don't think that's what I'm

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Speaker 3: looking for.

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Speaker 4: I don't think I were aligned. Yeah, and I think

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Speaker 4: I'm wondering.

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Speaker 5: So they've been talking for four months? Are they official

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Speaker 5: boyfriend and girlfriend?

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Speaker 4: I think so. I think that's the one month.

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Speaker 5: I think when you're official boyfriend and girlfriend, you got it,

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Speaker 5: you gotta do it in person. If you were talking

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Speaker 5: for a month, I'd be like, you could do over

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Speaker 5: the phone or text, that's right, but official boyfriend and

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Speaker 5: girlfriend gotta do in person.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, But I think that you could start the conversation

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Speaker 5: and say, like, I, hey, I know some things I

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Speaker 5: don't know if we quite align.

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Speaker 3: Because maybe this is something important for him to know

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Speaker 3: in the future.

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Speaker 5: But he doesn't have a lot of relationship experience exactly.

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Speaker 3: But you don't need to, you know. This is a

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Speaker 3: very nice way to say it. But we do have

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Speaker 3: another update. I don't know Reddit rules, but I said

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Speaker 3: this to someone who was saying that I was cruel,

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Speaker 3: and I really want to share this. I like this man.

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Speaker 3: I was falling in love with him. I posted on

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Speaker 3: Reddit because I care. The fact that a thirty one

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Speaker 3: year old man has no interest in cooking for himself

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Speaker 3: physically repulsed me. Maybe because of past relationships, maybe because

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Speaker 3: there are other underlying things that are adding up.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure right now.

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Speaker 3: All I know is that when I entered the relationship,

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Speaker 3: I thought I saw a mature, intelligent young man who

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Speaker 3: was ready to start a life with a person who

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Speaker 3: he found equally appealing. Now I see a spoiled man

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Speaker 3: child who will have me cooking and cleaning for the

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Speaker 3: rest of my life because he had such a long

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Speaker 3: day at work. There is a woman who is prepared

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Speaker 3: to do every single bit of the emotional, spicy, related

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Speaker 3: physical labor that is involved with rearing children, running a family,

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Speaker 3: teaching someone how to love. I need a partner, not

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Speaker 3: a child. Partners share the burden of life's tasks. I'm down,

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Speaker 3: I see my partner to lift me up and vice versa.

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Speaker 3: So most of these comments are correct. It is a

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Speaker 3: huge red flag, and I'm better off focusing on taking

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Speaker 3: care of myself and maybe purchasing my mom and stepdad's

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Speaker 3: home so they can finally retire and my brother and

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Speaker 3: his partner have a stable living situation. Regrettably, I do

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Speaker 3: think that it was a mistake posting this. I appreciate

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Speaker 3: the comments from everyone, but no one told me what

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Speaker 3: I wanted to hear because the comments aren't from him. Ultimately,

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Speaker 3: what I wanted to hear from him is that he

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Speaker 3: would try, and that's not what he told me.

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Speaker 4: Today when I.

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Speaker 3: Called I am a nasty woman in his world. As

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Speaker 3: much as that hurts me, I've known for a while

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Speaker 3: that I need to learn to let go and leave.

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Speaker 4: This was just an exercise in that. Yeah, yeah, that.

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Speaker 5: Was only a month, right, it's not you know you're

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Speaker 5: gonna be obviously.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure it hurts right now.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he'll be fine in it two months.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, exactly if I hurt your feelings.

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Speaker 3: In the comments, I'm sorry, I'm just heartbroken, and there

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Speaker 3: are some relevant comments.

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Speaker 4: Does the boyfriend know how to cook? Opie says he

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Speaker 4: knows how to cook?

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Speaker 3: He told me he does sometimes at home and even

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Speaker 3: has made donuts and other random things during the bid.

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Speaker 3: He knows how, he just doesn't want to do it.

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Speaker 3: I guess what's really going on. I guess he just

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Speaker 3: expects me to cook for him and do the traditional

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Speaker 3: woman's role. Another commenter says, info, does he cook when

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Speaker 3: he hangs out with you? Does he know how to cook?

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Speaker 3: Have you been invited to meet his mom and see

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Speaker 3: their dynamic? It's definitely worth having a conversation about. He

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Speaker 3: invited me for lunch for pancakes one day, which I

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Speaker 3: thought was odd. I couldn't go because he asked me

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Speaker 3: the night before and I had plans. He told me

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Speaker 3: he has made donuts, stir fry, soup, banana bread. He

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Speaker 3: isn't incapable. From what he says, his mom was the

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Speaker 3: matriarch one hundred percent. He was silent the entire time.

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Speaker 3: His dad and sisters seemed happy, go lucky. I could

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Speaker 3: tell Mom was judging me, but not that there was anger,

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Speaker 3: just curious and maybe a slight judgmental air. It wasn't

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Speaker 3: a long interaction though, just like an hour tops. And

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Speaker 3: we do have an update two from three days later.

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Speaker 4: Really oh boy. Yeah, I feel like it's okay, it's over.

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Speaker 3: And that kind of would make sense if he was

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Speaker 3: used to his mom cooking for everything, to the point

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Speaker 3: where like he's thirty one and he's like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: have my mom cook for me every single night. Now,

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Speaker 3: maybe that is something that he grew up with, was

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Speaker 3: was his mom, and like seeing that role of like

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Speaker 3: the woman doing all the cooking. So so yeah, I

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Speaker 3: feel like it's probably not a big jump to assume that.

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Speaker 5: My advice for you, appe is to find a person

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Speaker 5: who's a better cook than you.

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Speaker 4: There you go yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 1: It's great.

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Speaker 3: Well, we do have a second update from three days later.

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Speaker 3: So I liked this man a lot, but ultimately didn't

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Speaker 3: see anything long term, and I broke up with him

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Speaker 3: today nice He basically said okay, and I said I

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Speaker 3: wanted to tell him why, but he said no.

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Speaker 4: I said, that's kind of something a.

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Speaker 3: Man that cycles through women slash doesn't have long term

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Speaker 3: relationships would say, not a man who has never had

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Speaker 3: a girlfriend and is breaking up with his first one

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Speaker 3: would say. So I proceeded to tell him what he

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Speaker 3: said and what it meant to me when he said

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Speaker 3: This man proceeded to gaslight me into believing that he

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Speaker 3: never said that and that he was just innocent, and

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Speaker 3: then I'm just trying to be cruel to him. He

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Speaker 3: then said that he didn't intend on being more independent,

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Speaker 3: which basically contradicts the gaslighting.

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Speaker 4: So I blocked him And that's the update.

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Speaker 3: My feelings are hurt and my mind is spinning, hoping

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Speaker 3: to find peace again soon. And there are some comments.

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Speaker 3: Common Number one says, plenty of fish in the sea

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Speaker 3: and some of us even cook. Someone else responds, how

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Speaker 3: are you on washing dishes? Opie says excellent. I also

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Speaker 3: cook great and do all other chores no problem. But

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Speaker 3: I need a partner that can share responsibilities, especially if

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Speaker 3: they want a child. But also because of my work schedule,

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Speaker 3: and I made that clear from the beginning. He just

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Speaker 3: conveniently didn't remember that.

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Speaker 4: I guess.

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Speaker 3: In short, I like cooking, but my work schedule and

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Speaker 3: hopes in life dictate that I need an adult who

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Speaker 3: is willing to cook. It's super easy to warm up

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Speaker 3: a frozen pizza. Comment number two says, still.

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Speaker 1: Not the a hole.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure he and his mom will be very happy together.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, I'm positive she is telling him how villain

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Speaker 3: is I am as we speak. Coming number three says,

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Speaker 3: as someone who's twenty years older than you, I can

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Speaker 3: say that at four months, he was showing you who

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Speaker 3: he really is. You're smart to prioritize being equal partners

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Speaker 3: with someone you can leave the man baby to his mama.

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Speaker 3: Coming number four says the fact that he works from home, well,

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Speaker 3: she's working twelve hour shifts as a nurse, and he'd

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Speaker 3: still expect her to cook for him a thing. Yikes,

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Speaker 3: Opie says, one hundred percent. It's still really hurt. I

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Speaker 3: wonder if there even are men who are equal partners

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Speaker 3: at this point in my life. There are good men,

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Speaker 3: I know some, but there are so few. Someone else responds,

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's productive to tell him why you're

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Speaker 3: breaking up with him. It's always something you've been complaining

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Speaker 3: about for a while and he chose to ignore. He

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Speaker 3: won't change, He'll just do a better job of manipulating

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Speaker 3: the next person. Someone else responds, one hundred percent, she's

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Speaker 3: right to break up, but it would be weird to

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Speaker 3: be upset that he doesn't want to hear it. She

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Speaker 3: knows he doesn't want to hear it. She knows he

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Speaker 3: didn't care enough. He was a crappy boyfriend, and that's that.

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Speaker 3: But her being upset about him not wanting to grow

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Speaker 3: and talk it out after she dumped him is unnecessary

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Speaker 3: energy and stress.

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Speaker 4: That's the end of that story.

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Speaker 5: I mean, like, yeah, yeah, I guess, but they're always

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Speaker 5: gonna feel bad to have something broken off. Yeah, my

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Speaker 5: boyfriend's best friend confessed his feelings for.

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Speaker 4: Him and it was chaotic. Oh boy.

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Speaker 5: My boyfriend twenty eight male and I thirty two female,

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Speaker 5: have been together for three years. He is insanely social

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Speaker 5: and I am more of a stay in and do

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Speaker 5: crafts kind of person, but it works.

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Speaker 4: Recently, our schedules have been.

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Speaker 5: Pretty opposite and we usually only see each other three

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Speaker 5: days a week. By the way, this comes from dogs

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Speaker 5: no better than us. And if you want to spend

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Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime,

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Speaker 5: separate it. I'm Sophia and I'm Angie, and we're here

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Speaker 5: to give good advice. Goofily, but we don't have all

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Speaker 5: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let

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Speaker 5: us know what you would do in the comments. He

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Speaker 5: has a best friend, Thomas thirty three male, who is

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Speaker 5: recently going through a divorce with a woman and has

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Speaker 5: been spending a lot of time with him. I've always

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Speaker 5: gotten the vibe that Thomas was queer in some form,

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Speaker 5: just by the way he talks about men. He recently

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Speaker 5: came out to my boyfriend and told him it's that's

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Speaker 5: the real reason for his divorce. My boyfriend is very

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Speaker 5: straight and doesn't really know a lot about queer people,

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Speaker 5: but I have a ton of queer friends and told

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Speaker 5: him to be extra sensitive and treat Thomas like he

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Speaker 5: is no different. When my boyfriend told me about Thomas.

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Speaker 5: I said that I was proud of him for living

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Speaker 5: his true life, but hopefully the soon to be ex

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Speaker 5: wife is doing okay. They have been spending a lot

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Speaker 5: of time together and Thomas frequently stays over at his

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Speaker 5: place because he works in the city but lives like

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Speaker 5: forty five minutes away. Since they worked together, I understood

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Speaker 5: the convenience factor and I was happy they were having fun.

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Speaker 5: My boyfriend left out a major part of thomas coming

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Speaker 5: out in my opinion, Thomas also said he's had a

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Speaker 5: crush on my boyfriend since they met and has feelings

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Speaker 5: for him. That's a big part to leave out, that is.

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Speaker 5: I asked when he told him that, and he said

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Speaker 5: around a month ago. I know my boyfriend wouldn't cheat,

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Speaker 5: and I am very confident he doesn't have feelings for

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Speaker 5: men in general, but the thought of someone crushing on him,

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Speaker 5: drinking with him, and sleeping.

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Speaker 4: Over doesn't feel great to me.

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Speaker 5: I don't ever want to be the type of part

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Speaker 5: that isolates someone from a friend, but I want to

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Speaker 5: set a boundary. I'm not sure what that boundary needs

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Speaker 5: to be, because, based on my initial reaction, my boyfriend

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Speaker 5: said he'll just stop hanging out with Thomas, and I said,

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Speaker 5: I'm not asking him to do that. I explained to

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Speaker 5: him that if I had someone who had a crush

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Speaker 5: on me sleep over regularly, he would feel weird about that,

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Speaker 5: and he agreed. I really don't know how to handle

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Speaker 5: the situation and feel like I almost sound closet guard

303
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,960
Speaker 5: setting boundaries after Thomas just came out advice and there

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Speaker 5: are some relevant comments. Comment one says, if nothing else,

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Speaker 5: it's not healthy to spend this much time with someone

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Speaker 5: you fancy who is in a relationship where it will

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Speaker 5: never happen.

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Speaker 4: Oh, he says, this was my thought too.

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Speaker 5: It definitely doesn't feel like Thomas respects our relationship right now.

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Speaker 5: Comment two says, I get the impulse on a boundary,

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Speaker 5: but it's not your place, it's his.

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Speaker 4: Tell him you're.

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Speaker 5: Uncomfortable shore, but don't also set the rules. See what

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Speaker 5: rules he sets, and then talk about it. The rules

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Speaker 5: will cause a wedge if you set them. That'll thank

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Speaker 5: you for supporting him if he sets the same rule

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Speaker 5: for himself. Respect your partner's ototomy, even though it's challenging. Here,

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Speaker 5: Opie says, thank you for this one thing I love

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Speaker 5: about our relationship. Is we don't try to control each

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Speaker 5: other and respect each other's lives outside of one another.

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Speaker 5: I think my boyfriend can be a bit of a people.

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Speaker 4: Pleaser and literally just laughed.

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Speaker 5: And said, sorry, I'm not into dudes when Thomas confessed

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Speaker 5: his feelings. I hope he has a deeper discussion with

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Speaker 5: Thomas about these feelings he has and what that means

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Speaker 5: for their friendship moving forward. Comment three, he says, how

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Speaker 5: could that be his best friend and he didn't know

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Speaker 5: he was attracted to guys all this time? Opie says,

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Speaker 5: I think Thomas played the straight guy for a long time.

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Speaker 5: He's been married to a woman for like eight years,

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Speaker 5: so I guess it could have been overlooked and there

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Speaker 5: is an update.

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Speaker 4: I think there are many cases where people don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, especially straight people tend to have a worse gainar.

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Speaker 5: So you're not gonna like, look, especially with a person

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Speaker 5: that you've known for so long who's married to a woman.

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Speaker 4: Right there was at their wedding. I kind of believed him.

338
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Speaker 5: And also a lot of times, even if someone is

339
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Speaker 5: like maybe more like eminent, right or something, you kind

340
00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,520
Speaker 5: of like, well, that's just how he is, a woman.

341
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Speaker 4: So I'm not gonna think about twys about it.

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00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,200
Speaker 5: There's a lot of reasons why people, Yeah, don'tus in,

343
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 5: but there is an update. Three days later, a few

344
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,360
Speaker 5: of you asked for an update, so here it goes.

345
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,679
Speaker 5: Some of you thought my boyfriend was secretly queer, some

346
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 5: of you thought I was a controlling witch, but the

347
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 5: majority of you told me I just needed to have

348
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 5: a long talk with my boyfriend, and that's what I did.

349
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,040
Speaker 5: I work at a cafe a few blocks away from

350
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Speaker 5: my boyfriend's place, and luckily they let me have an

351
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,000
Speaker 5: hour long break. I got my boyfriend a breakfast sandwich

352
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,240
Speaker 5: and told him we really need to talk about Thomas.

353
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 5: He responded with, yes, we definitely do. I told him

354
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Speaker 5: that I know he's not a cheater and I don't

355
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,320
Speaker 5: think anything would happen between the two of them, but

356
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 5: Thomas always sleeping over when I'm unavailable is making me uncomfortable.

357
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 5: He told me Thomas was making him uncomfortable too, and

358
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Speaker 5: he just hasn't taken the time to process all of this.

359
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,560
Speaker 5: He told me that he has a story from his

360
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 5: childhood that he was deeply ashamed of. Basically, his good

361
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 5: childhood friend came out to him freshman year, and also

362
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,680
Speaker 5: said he had feelings for him. My boyfriend responded very

363
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,240
Speaker 5: badly and told them to never talk to him again.

364
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 5: He said his friend ended up quitting sports and getting

365
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 5: severely depressed, and when he tried to apologize after high school,

366
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 5: the friend told him he does not accept it. My

367
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,880
Speaker 5: boyfriend had tears in his eyes telling me this and

368
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 5: said that he will never forgive himself for acting so cruel.

369
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 5: He then broke down the exact conversation he had with Thomas.

370
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 5: He said he was telling Thomas about a fun day

371
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Speaker 5: we had at this local fair now on the Ferris Wheel.

372
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Speaker 5: He was looking at me and realized he wants to

373
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Speaker 5: spend the rest of his life with me.

374
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Speaker 4: He said. Thomas gave him.

375
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Speaker 5: A strange look and told him he needed to tell

376
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Speaker 5: him something. Thomas told him that the reason he is

377
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Speaker 5: getting divorced is because he is attracted to men and

378
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 5: was never attracted to his wife. That's when he proceeded

379
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,520
Speaker 5: to tell my boyfriend that he's insanely attracted to him

380
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 5: and he's his exact type of man. My boyfriend said

381
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 5: he tried to respond basically opposite of his freshman's health

382
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 5: and just thanked him for being honest and open about himself.

383
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 5: My boyfriend told me he realizes he should have told

384
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 5: him explicitly that he doesn't feel the same, but figured

385
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 5: Thomas would know that based on the world he talks

386
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,400
Speaker 5: about me. One thing I had completely forgotten about is

387
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 5: that Thomas is technically his boss. Now. It does make

388
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 5: it a little complicated, it sure does. I remember us

389
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 5: all celebrating his promotion, but I didn't put it together

390
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 5: that he.

391
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 4: Was his boss.

392
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,120
Speaker 5: My boyfriend told me he felt pressure to still let

393
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 5: him crash all the time at his place because of

394
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 5: his divorce, and he tried to just pretend he didn't

395
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 5: admit a being feelings for him for the sake of

396
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 5: their friendship. My boyfriend then had a talk with Thomas

397
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,880
Speaker 5: and it didn't go well. He told Thomas that he

398
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 5: would never have those feelings for him and the sleepovers

399
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,720
Speaker 5: feel kind of weird now. Thomas blamed me and started

400
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 5: calling me a controlling, harmful partner god, but my boyfriend

401
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 5: shut it down and told him that this was all

402
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 5: coming from him and he should just start looking for

403
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 5: his own apartment in the city. Later that night, I

404
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 5: got a call from Thomas. I could tell he had

405
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 5: been drinking a lot, but I hoped he was calling

406
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 5: to apologize or at least compromise. That was not the case,

407
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 5: so he started off by saying that my boyfriend could

408
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 5: do so much better than me, and that I'm just

409
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 5: a scrappy gold digger. Gone, my boyfriend and Thomas work

410
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 5: in finance and I work.

411
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 4: At a cafe.

412
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,960
Speaker 5: So yes, my boyfriend makes a lot more money than me,

413
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,119
Speaker 5: but I still pay my own way in life. Thomas

414
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 5: went on to say my boyfriend should be with someone

415
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 5: in the same tax bracket as him, and then told

416
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 5: me you're really not as pretty as you think, and

417
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 5: you drudge like a poor person.

418
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 4: What dude, stop?

419
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,440
Speaker 3: If you're so like Hi and rich in your fancy

420
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,400
Speaker 3: new promotion, then get your own place. Yeah, you're being

421
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 3: a gold digger by crashing in his house.

422
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,400
Speaker 5: It's someone else's yeah, not my boyfriend. Yeah's your own

423
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 5: boyfriend and you're out a place.

424
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

425
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 5: It pissed me off, so I told him he sounded

426
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 5: like a snob and he's only saying this because my

427
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,840
Speaker 5: boyfriend basically rejected him. He then told me that if

428
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 5: you would have made a move at the right time,

429
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,679
Speaker 5: you could have convinced my boyfriend to cheat, which I

430
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 5: found insanely creepy.

431
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so creepy. Geez, literally, why would you? Why

432
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 4: would anyone ever say that to someone? These are also

433
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 4: just all like stupid insults. Yeah.

434
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 5: He then started going off on a misogynistic rant about

435
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 5: how women are just trying to trap all the attractive

436
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 5: men and we're all horrible blah blah blah.

437
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:07,920
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

438
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 5: I ended up hanging up on him. I immediately called

439
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,640
Speaker 5: my boyfriend and he was boosted. I have never heard

440
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 5: my boyfriend so mad. But he told me that Thomas

441
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 5: is a creepy weirdo and he feels so gross that

442
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 5: he was best friends with him for years. I told

443
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,120
Speaker 5: him he might want to have a talk with HR,

444
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,520
Speaker 5: just to be safe so that Thomas doesn't retaliate, and

445
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 5: that the whole thing is insanely inappropriate, especially because he's

446
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 5: his boss. I feel so bad for my boyfriend because

447
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,760
Speaker 5: he's lost his best friend and now his job will

448
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 5: be weird at the very least. The thing about my

449
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 5: boyfriend is he loves his.

450
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 4: Job and takes it very seriously.

451
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,159
Speaker 5: At first, I felt like part of this was my fault,

452
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 5: but after reflecting. I am happy I brought it to

453
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 5: light because it sounded like Thomas was basically planning to

454
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 5: do something much worse to my boyfriend.

455
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:52,679
Speaker 4: And there is a little bit left to this story.

456
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 4: Any final thoughts, Yeah, I think you screw this guy.

457
00:18:55,680 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 4: Sc scrim he's not your friend. Oh, he's bad, bad guy.

458
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 5: My boyfriend has been sad today and took the day off.

459
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 5: I really wish I could fix things. I think he's

460
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 5: nervous about work, and I don't blame him, but it

461
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 5: breaks my heart seeing him like this. We did take

462
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 5: my dog to the beach, and my dog is such

463
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 5: a goof that my boyfriend was laughing a lot, so

464
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 5: that was good. Thank you everyone for all the advice,

465
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 5: and I really wish things didn't play out this way.

466
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,919
Speaker 5: Common one says, did you record the call when Thomas

467
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 5: called you? Please save every single text and record every

468
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 5: single conversation you have with him from now on. He

469
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 5: thought he could guilt and pressure with him being his

470
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 5: boss and all your boyfriend into being intimate with him.

471
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 5: That's disgusting behavior. Op says, I didn't record the call,

472
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 5: and I really wish that I did. I genuinely assumed

473
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 5: he was going to apologize and it all just took

474
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 5: me off guard. Thomas has blocked us on everything, so

475
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 5: there really isn't much evidence of his gross behavior. OHP

476
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 5: needs to tell her boyfriend to get a lawyer. OPI

477
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 5: says he's going to talk to his uncle tomorrow who

478
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 5: is a lawyer, and ask him what he should do.

479
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 5: We are both pretty clueless about what steps we need

480
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,359
Speaker 5: to take moving forward.

481
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. Folks, good

482
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 4: bicko pie, Yeah, good luck.

483
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 3: I refused my fiance's wedding wish. Now our marriage might

484
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 3: be over already.

485
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 4: You're not getting your wish.

486
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 3: I'm a thirty year old woman. I've been with my fiance,

487
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 3: Sarah for the last five years. We are the same age,

488
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 3: and we met at grad school. When I was thirteen,

489
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: my loving dad passed away. He left a decent amount

490
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:21,719
Speaker 3: of money for us.

491
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 1: My mom.

492
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: Within six months got engaged to a guy named Bob.

493
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 3: Bob had a daughter around my age. By the way,

494
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 3: this comes from deleted and if you want to submit

495
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storry

496
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 3: time sub read it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and

497
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 3: we're here to give good advice, goofily, but we don't

498
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 3: have all the answers. We're just gonna guess what we

499
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 3: would do in this situation. But let us know what

500
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 3: you would do in the comments. So my mom married

501
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 3: Bob within a year of my dad's passing. Bob really

502
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 3: hated me from the start and didn't even try to

503
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 3: hide it. He was saying stuff like how my mom

504
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 3: should have sent me to a boarding school, how if

505
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 3: it wasn't because of my dad's inheritance, he wouldn't have

506
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 3: me in his house, and he called me a slurb

507
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 3: because I was in our school sports team and very athletic.

508
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 3: He multiple times told my mom that he doesn't feel

509
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 3: safe when his daughter is around me, but I wasn't

510
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 3: even around her yet. He used this as a reason

511
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 3: to exclude me pretty much from everything. My mom, on

512
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 3: the other hand, was going above and beyond to prove

513
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 3: to Bob that she is the new mom for Bob's

514
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: little princess.

515
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,719
Speaker 4: They ended up having three more kids.

516
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: Wow.

517
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 3: Basically I was a roommate who did babysitting for my

518
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 3: mom and her new family. I never had a birthday

519
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 3: party or a special day. My dad's sister was amazing

520
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 3: to me. I was at their place all the time.

521
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 3: She and her family had birthday celebrations for me, and

522
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 3: my mom was making excuses not to show up, and

523
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 3: of course the rest of them ever showed up. I

524
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: was really in my aunt and uncle's daughter. They were

525
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: amazing to me. When I left for university, I contacted

526
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 3: my mom a few times, but she was always busy,

527
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 3: so I just gave up. Here's the issue, Sarah. My

528
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 3: fiance comes from a very family or oriented background. Family

529
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 3: is everything to her. Her family asked about mine. I said,

530
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 3: my dad passed away and my mom is busy with

531
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: her family and lives across the country. I didn't entirely

532
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 3: lie technically. She asked me to invite my family to

533
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 3: our wedding.

534
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 4: I told her no.

535
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,399
Speaker 3: She said it's very embarrassing not to have only my

536
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 3: aunt and her family on my side, but I reluctantly

537
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,120
Speaker 3: invited my mom. She called and asked me to apologize

538
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 3: to Bob and my step and half siblings for not

539
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: inviting them and inviting them all.

540
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 4: I told her no.

541
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 3: She said that I'm being ungrateful and Bob was a

542
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 3: father figure to me.

543
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 4: I had a big argument with my mom over this.

544
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 3: My mom now says that the only way she comes

545
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,199
Speaker 3: is if I invite Bob, his daughter and their kids.

546
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 3: Sarah is now pushing me to invite them all because

547
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to feel embarrassed in front of her family.

548
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 4: Yikes. These people never even gave me.

549
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 3: A card or said happy birthday to me, so I

550
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: see no reason to celebrate my big day with them. I,

551
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 3: on the other hand, don't want to let my fiance down.

552
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 4: I just don't know what to do.

553
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 3: Should I swallow my ego and invite my family so

554
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 3: my fiance will be happy? I suggested eloping, but Sarah

555
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 3: is a firm no am I able to ruining my

556
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 3: fiance's day by not fulfilling her wish. I appreciate it

557
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 3: if you give me your honest opinion, as I am

558
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 3: being pressured by everyone except my aunt to go against

559
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 3: my wishes and there isn't quick at it. Sarah knows

560
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 3: everything about my life. My aunt even talked to her

561
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 3: about how they treated me when I was growing up.

562
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 4: And edit number two.

563
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 3: I will have a serious talk with Sarah tonight.

564
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 4: I'll try to update soon, but.

565
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think serious talk is good. You're about to

566
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 5: marry this person. Yeah, you guys should be on the

567
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 5: same page about you know, your relationships with other people

568
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,400
Speaker 5: and especially your family exactly.

569
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 3: I think if this is something that ruins your fiance's wedding.

570
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 5: Day, then she's not actually marrying you to marry you.

571
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you care then too much about what

572
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 3: your family is doing in optics and I kind of wonder,

573
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 3: I mean, she seems to have Sarah seems to have

574
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 3: a good relationship with her family, but also like I

575
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 3: wonder if there is some sort of pressure from them

576
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 3: being family oriented, to like push past problems. Yeah, so

577
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 3: I wonder if she is kind of the mindset of like, well, yeah,

578
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 3: but like that's kind of what we have to do.

579
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 4: Yeah so yeah so.

580
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 3: But uh, conversation is definitely needed. But we do have

581
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: some comments coming. Number one says, are you sure Sarah

582
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 3: is the person for you? She seems pretty dismissive of

583
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 3: your boundaries and feelings. Opie says she was one hundred

584
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 3: percent before we got engaged. The whole idea of dream

585
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 3: wedding completely changed her. There's a question of did Opie

586
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 3: get proper therapy to deal with the abandonment and abuse

587
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: from her mother. Opie says, no, I haven't. I buried

588
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: my head in my books. When I moved out, I

589
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 3: was working and finishing my degree. I started grad school

590
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 3: right away, and that's where I met Sarah. I never

591
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 3: had a real long term relationship before Sarah. It was

592
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 3: always casual because I was terrified of being abandoned, so

593
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: I would always make sure that they knew that it

594
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 3: was casual. When I met Sarah, I told her the same,

595
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 3: but she said that she wasn't going anywhere because she

596
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 3: liked me a lot. Our casual hookups turned into dating

597
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 3: and love, and we do have an update. I sat

598
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 3: Sarah down last night and explained my reasoning for not

599
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 3: inviting my family. She kept saying that was a long

600
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 3: time ago. They might not be the same people anymore.

601
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: I felt offended and said, how on earth are you

602
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 3: lecturing me when you've never even met them. Well, it

603
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 3: turned out my mother has been in touch with Sarah's.

604
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 5: Did she like go through Sarah to try and get

605
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 5: to you?

606
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 4: Yeah? Who was the starter?

607
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 3: She's trying to convince Sarah to convince you. Sarah said

608
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: they regularly meet.

609
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 4: Why it's and talk That would feel so incredibly invasive

610
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 4: to me.

611
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 5: Yes, like if I had a family member or friend

612
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 5: that like, I had a very complicated relationship with and

613
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 5: didn't want to see to find out that my partner

614
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 5: had been regularly meeting them without my knowledge.

615
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 3: Even if I had a good relationship with this person,

616
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 3: I'd be like, Oh, that's like, that's fine, but like,

617
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 3: it's weird that you didn't tell me this. Like I

618
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 3: was about to cry because I was so angry. My

619
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,959
Speaker 3: mom changed the whole narrative, saying Bob was a father figure,

620
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 3: a good protective dad, and that it was me who

621
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 3: didn't love him back, because apparently it's my thing to

622
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 3: play the victim. She claimed my aunt manipulated me and

623
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 3: stole me from their family, trying to be a replacement

624
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 3: for my mom. According to her, it's all about my mother.

625
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 3: I screamed, are you for real? Ask her next time

626
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 3: on your coffee dates? Why I never had a birthday

627
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 3: party growing up? Why was there never a gift under

628
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 3: the tree for me? Ask Bob if he even knows

629
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 3: when my birthday is? Since he was such a loving dad,

630
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 3: Why did my aunt have to pick me up before

631
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 3: Christmas Eve? Because Bob wanted to spend the holiday with

632
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 3: his kids, not with another man's mistake. Sarah basically repeated

633
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 3: what my mom has told me my whole life. You

634
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 3: just love to make a big deal out of everything,

635
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 3: make yourself a victim, and push everyone away.

636
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, this marriage is not gonna work out to any

637
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 5: last deceit and then.

638
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 4: Blaming you for your competent.

639
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 3: Relationship after you blame it, and she's still like against

640
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 3: you on this, that is terrible. I mean, even if

641
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 3: it wasn't the mom's words, those are like such manipulative

642
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 3: words to say to anyone, especially your partner. I told

643
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 3: her she had no right contacting my mom. She said

644
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 3: I was cruel and claimed that she was just trying

645
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 3: to help me mend my broken relationship. She even called

646
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 3: my mom lovely and said Bob has changed a lot.

647
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 3: He is now an LGBTQ ally now that his princess

648
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 3: is out. I was floored an ally, maybe he should

649
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 3: start by apologizing to me for terrorizing my entire childhood.

650
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 4: I told Sarah, we are done. I can't do this.

651
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: Sarah sarcastically said, you just proved your mom's point. Go

652
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 3: run to your aunt and let that old witch ruin

653
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 3: your life. I told her she needs to find a

654
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 3: new place asap, considering she's not paying rent.

655
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 4: I am.

656
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 3: She got mad and asked what excuse I was going

657
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 3: to make up this time to justify my BS trauma.

658
00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 3: I stopped replying. I went on a tirade breaking our dinners.

659
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: I didn't care.

660
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 3: I texted my aunt and she asked if I wanted

661
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 3: to spend the night at her place. I said I

662
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 3: was fine taking time off from work. I cleaned up

663
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 3: the kitchen, which was full of broken dishwar in the

664
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 3: morning because I didn't want my cats to accidentally get hurt.

665
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 3: Sarah is still sleeping. I'm going to see how I

666
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 3: can legally evict her. I'm a complete mess, but I'll

667
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 3: talk to my aunt and uncle for help. Yes, I

668
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: am not starting to date again until I see a

669
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 3: therapist and work on myself. I can't keep going through this.

670
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 3: And there are some relevant comments. Comment number one says,

671
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 3: just curious, Opie, If your family lives across the country,

672
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 3: how is Sarah having regular coffee dates with your mom?

673
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,479
Speaker 3: Opie says, I explained later that was the lie that

674
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 3: Sarah told her parents that I didn't correct. Yes, I

675
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 3: shouldn't have lied to them. I should have taken the

676
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 3: hint when she asked me to lie. We live in

677
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: Lower Mainland, Vancouver and my mom lives in Abbotsford to

678
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 3: be exact, if you want to check how far she

679
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 3: lives away from us, Commentary number two says, where did

680
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: you think your significant other was when she was gone

681
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 3: for a two plus hours on a coffee date with

682
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 3: your mom? How does she do this weekly without you knowing?

683
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 3: Opie says, Sarah is between jobs. That's why I stopped

684
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 3: charging her rent. I go to the office every day,

685
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 3: probably during the day. I'll come back soon to answer

686
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 3: more questions. I'm very busy. Now we do have an update.

687
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: I still get dms asking for an update. So one

688
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: Sarah moved out. Finally, her family cursed me and my

689
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,719
Speaker 3: aunt and uncle as they were packing her stuff. I

690
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: asked my aunt and uncle to be there because I

691
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: was terrified of her family. L Luckily, they didn't do

692
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 3: anything crazy, just a lot of verbal attacks. Two, my

693
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 3: mom left me a nasty voicemail. She said that I'm

694
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 3: a worthless human being and blew the best thing that

695
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 3: happened to me over some childish resentments. She said that

696
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: that's who you are ungrateful, spoiled bratt. Her husband apparently

697
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 3: raised me and I was ungrateful. Whatever, Mom, leave me alone.

698
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: I met with a therapist that I liked, but he

699
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 3: is going to retire soon due to health issues FML.

700
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 3: He referred me to his colleague, so year new therapists.

701
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 1: Four.

702
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 4: I'm not dating.

703
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 3: I do a lot of social activities with my friends. Overall,

704
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 3: I'm very happy. Five the next step, who knows? Maybe

705
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 3: you save my money to take my auntie to a

706
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 3: nice vacation. I don't have many plans tbh. And that's

707
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 3: the end of that story.

708
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: We go, wow, hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to

709
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

710
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 6: My husband's step brother demanded that I apologize over a misunderstanding.

711
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 4: Girl never apologize.

712
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: So a little backstory.

713
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 6: I thirty female, moved thousands of miles away from everything

714
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 6: I've ever known to be with my husband Liam twenty

715
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 6: seven male in the UK. Adjusting to a new country, culture,

716
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 6: and family has been a huge transition, and I've been

717
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 6: doing my best to navigate it.

718
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 1: By the way, this.

719
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 6: Comes from user Sam to seven ninety four, and if

720
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories. Go to the

721
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 6: r slash Okay storytime subured it.

722
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 7: I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and we are here to

723
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 7: give you good advice.

724
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 6: Gooflely, but we don't have all the answers. We only

725
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 6: know what we do, so if you would do something different,

726
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 6: let us know in the comments. As op says, recently, though,

727
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 6: my husband's stepbrother has taken issue with me over something

728
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 6: I honestly don't think was a big deal, but he's

729
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 6: turned it into a huge thing.

730
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: And is now demanding an apology. Here's what happened.

731
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 6: We attended a family gathering and I kept my distance

732
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 6: from Emma forty nine female, my stepbrother's sister in law,

733
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 6: because at our first meeting, she made little comments that

734
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 6: made me uncomfortable. I get that she's been in the

735
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 6: family for twenty years and is cautious because she's been

736
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 6: through a lot, at least from what I was told,

737
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 6: but that doesn't give her the right to make jabs

738
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 6: at me. During our first interaction, she said to me,

739
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 6: flailing her hands, you belong.

740
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 1: On that side of the family.

741
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 6: Referring to my husband's biological mother and his father. So

742
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 6: at the second gathering, I simply chose to stay out

743
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 6: of the way rather than engage in another situation where

744
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 6: I might feel uncomfortable. Again, I wasn't rude, I wasn't confrontational.

745
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 6: I just kept to myself. Well, apparently that was unacceptable.

746
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 6: According to my husband's stepbrother, Chris forty five mail, I

747
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 6: was deliberately rude, disrespectful, and calculated because I didn't interact

748
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 6: much with them. He even accused me of ignoring their

749
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 6: twelve year old son, which I didn't, and claimed I

750
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 6: disrespected the hosts by eating their food without offering to

751
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 6: help or saying a proper goodbye. For the record, I

752
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 6: did say goodbye to people. I just wasn't overly engaging

753
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 6: because I was trying to avoid any more uncomfortable situations.

754
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 6: But instead of acknowledging that this might have been a

755
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 6: simple misunderstanding, he has completely blown it out of proportion

756
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 6: and put one hundred percent of the blame on me,

757
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 6: like I'm some kind of villain. Then, to make things

758
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 6: even more ridiculous, Chris got upset over me referring to

759
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 6: myself as a daughter in law of the house. To me,

760
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 6: it was just a normal thing to say I am

761
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 6: married into the family. My husband's stepmother is who I

762
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 6: can it or my mother in law, because she has

763
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 6: given me love since day one, and that was my

764
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 6: decision and everyone was happy with it, so naturally that

765
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 6: makes me a stepdaughter in law. It wasn't meant as

766
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 6: an insult to Emma, nor was I trying to take

767
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 6: any title away from her, But Chris turned it into

768
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 6: some huge sign of disrespect, acting like I was trying

769
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 6: to challenge her place in the family and replace her

770
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 6: with myself, which is absolutely not the case. I was

771
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 6: just trying to be part of the family dynamic, not

772
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 6: replace anyone. I always wanted to be part of a

773
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 6: loving family with love and devotion. Now Chris is basically

774
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 6: demanding that I apologize, saying that respect is non negotiable

775
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 6: and that elders deserve it no matter what.

776
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: I knew it, and look.

777
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 6: I get respecting elders, but respect goes both ways. I'm

778
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 6: not going to be forced into apologizing just to appease

779
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 6: Chris and Emma, especially when they refuse to acknowledge that

780
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 6: there was a misunderstanding or that Emma's behavior made me

781
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 6: uncomfortable in the first He's acting like I committed some

782
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 6: massive offense when all I did was try to navigate

783
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 6: a situation that wasn't welcoming to me in the first place.

784
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 1: Now here's the cherry on top.

785
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 6: My husband, Liam is absolutely fiurious. He's spoken to my

786
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 6: siblings and we are all on the same page that

787
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 6: this whole situation is beyond ridiculous. He is one hundred

788
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,280
Speaker 6: percent standing up for me, and when this call happens,

789
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 6: he will firmly make it clear that no one will

790
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 6: ever dictate or bully his wife again. If they have

791
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 6: a problem, they can take it up with him. No

792
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 6: more cornering me, no more forcing me into apologies that

793
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 6: I don't owe, and no more trying to make me

794
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 6: the scapegoat. Absolutely unacceptable. We are not having an in

795
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 6: person conversation where I get sat down like a child

796
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 6: and lectured.

797
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: If they want to talk, it's happening over video call

798
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: or not at all, and that's final.

799
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 6: I seriously don't get why some families act like new

800
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 6: in laws have to earn respect while the old ones

801
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 6: can do whatever they want. Respect goes both ways, and

802
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 6: I'm done playing nice with people who don't extend the

803
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 6: same courtesy. And we have an update, we still have

804
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 6: not had the call where my husband will be telling

805
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 6: Chris quote, we are going to have a video call

806
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 6: because we prefer to meet the next time in person

807
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 6: and have a cordial interaction. We are busy with our

808
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 6: own things and we have responsibilities, and video call is

809
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 6: the only way we're going to have this conversation or

810
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 6: we're not going to have a conversation at all. I

811
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 6: personally agree with this because I don't want to physically

812
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 6: meet them.

813
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,840
Speaker 1: I know how I am.

814
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 6: And my mental health is not very good, and I

815
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 6: will get panicky if I do meet them in person.

816
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,439
Speaker 6: I'm not going to listen to Chris on how when

817
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 6: or where we meet. You're not gonna demand an apology

818
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,720
Speaker 6: and then keep putting the ball in your court telling

819
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 6: us how the conversation is going to go. It will

820
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 6: feel overwhelming and make me really anxious. A video call

821
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 6: would allow me to have some control over the situation

822
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 6: and ease into things without feeling trapped or pressured. Where

823
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 6: and I get where you're coming from. But again, like

824
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 6: if you do meet them, like at you know a

825
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 6: park or like you know the coffee shop, you are

826
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 6: also in control and you are not trapped because you

827
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 6: can just get up and leave. Yeah, just something to

828
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 6: press ourselves, maybe out of our comfort zone a little bit.

829
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 6: It's important not to stay in your comfort zone perpetually.

830
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 6: I don't want them dictating where, when, or how we meet,

831
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 6: especially when I'm already.

832
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: Uncomfortable about it. This way, we can still connect, but.

833
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 6: On more neutral terms and more details on what I

834
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 6: want an apology for before I even think about doing it.

835
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 6: During a recent family gathering, Chris took a small towel

836
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 6: and started smacking my backside in front of everyone, completely

837
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 6: disregarding boundaries and acting like it was all a joke. Wait,

838
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 6: the brother law, the step the step man law was

839
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 6: slapping you with the towel. That needs to be an

840
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 6: immediate apology, and he needs to be checked.

841
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 1: What are we talking about?

842
00:36:59,080 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 4: Yeah? What?

843
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: Why do you think that's okay?

844
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 8: Like you didn't say hi to us, and you didn't

845
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 8: say goodbye to us, but I'm gonna slap it.

846
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 6: So these elders be acting a fool out here, No,

847
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 6: for real, now I'm concerned. Later, when I realized my

848
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 6: dress tag was sticking out, my husband tried to fix it,

849
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 6: but before he could, Chris snatched it out of his

850
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 6: hand and ripped it, making sure I couldn't return it.

851
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 6: That was my property and he had no right to

852
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 6: touch it, let alone destroy it. The tag was a

853
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 6: complete mistake. The dress arrived the same day and I

854
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 6: got ready quickly, so I didn't even realize it was

855
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 6: still there.

856
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: I wasn't planning on returning it. I was just going

857
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 1: to tuck it in and take it home.

858
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,800
Speaker 6: But instead of letting me handle it, he ripped it

859
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 6: off himself, which was a huge sign of disrespect. It

860
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 6: wasn't his place to touch my stuff at all.

861
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:50,240
Speaker 7: Well, like, I think we might be making that little

862
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 7: molehill into a middle of a bigger thing than it was.

863
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 1: I think him slapping your butt with the towel is

864
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 1: a bigger deal. I agree.

865
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 8: I feel like the tag thing is just something that

866
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 8: you're annoyed at and just like, oh, he's also done this,

867
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 8: but it's like, well, that's not the same level.

868
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: It is annoying though. Think about it.

869
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 6: It's like you're like husband is like about to like

870
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 6: it's like, oh, like, honey, can you take care of

871
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 6: that tag? And he's like gonna do it, And then

872
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 6: this person just like lunges in and is like yeah,

873
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 6: and like snatches the tag and rips it, and it's like, oh, like,

874
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 6: why did you do that.

875
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 8: I have actually learned not to rip the tags off.

876
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 8: If you're clothed, you should cut them. Because one time

877
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 8: I ripped it and like a hole, like it put

878
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 8: a hole in the shirt. I was like what and

879
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 8: I was really I was really sad.

880
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 4: And then I couldn't return the hole.

881
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 8: Well, just the wholen.

882
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: Turned the hole on this shirt.

883
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 4: Excuse me, I would like to return this hole.

884
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 6: Then, when my husband was booking flights for his father's

885
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 6: gift to his wife, something he was specifically asked to handle,

886
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 6: Chris inserted himself into the situation, sticking his.

887
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: Nose where it didn't belong.

888
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 6: The moment he saw the airline Pegasus, he made a

889
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 6: face and scoffed, acting as if it wasn't good enough,

890
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 6: even though it had nothing to do with him. As

891
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,720
Speaker 6: for Emma, she made her feelings clear when she rudely

892
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 6: told me you belong on that side of the family,

893
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 6: as if I were an outsider. When I casually referred

894
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 6: to myself as the daughter in law of the house,

895
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 6: she made a face clearly uncomfortable with the title, completely

896
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 6: avoiding eye contact and not wanting to get to know

897
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 6: me at all. The thing is, I wasn't saying it

898
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 6: to be malicious. I've only ever wanted to create a

899
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 6: warm and loving bond with my in laws. But unlike her,

900
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 6: I didn't enter this family quietly and distantly. I embraced

901
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 6: them with love, just as they embraced me. And maybe

902
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 6: that's exactly why she feels so challenged. Her mother had

903
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 6: dementia for ten years and passed away two years ago,

904
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 6: which I empathized with, but that doesn't justify being disrespectful.

905
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 6: My own father has cancer and he has had it

906
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 6: since twenty eighteen, but that doesn't mean that i'd be

907
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 6: quiet and out of the way and not make a bond.

908
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 6: All she had to do when she first saw me

909
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 6: was say, oh my god, I am I'm so excited

910
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 6: to meet you. And I would have said same here,

911
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 6: I've heard so much about you and that's it, or

912
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 6: even I'll start that comment, but she gave no vibe

913
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 6: where I could talk to her that way. And we

914
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 6: have a second update. Let's get into it, shall we.

915
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 6: My husband and I both decided that I am not

916
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:14,240
Speaker 6: apologizing to Chris or Emma. They were disrespectful, and Emma

917
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 6: had no interest in getting to know me. My mental

918
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 6: health comes first and it's not my job make anyone

919
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 6: feel better about their own bad behavior. My mother in

920
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 6: law and her sisters are on our side. They agreed

921
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 6: that Chris had no business inserting himself into the situation

922
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 6: and that he completely crossed the line. Because of that,

923
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 6: no one in the family is talking to him right now.

924
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 6: Every time he tries to bring it up, my mother

925
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 6: in law, Emily, immediately shuts him down. And we do

926
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 6: have a little bit more story. Let's initiate it off.

927
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 6: As for Emily, she and Liam, my husband, have always

928
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 6: respected each other and she wants to keep us in

929
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 6: her life. That is fine by me. I'm focusing on

930
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 6: being there for Liam because he's a good husband and

931
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 6: I won't let unnecessary drama get in our way. In

932
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 6: terms of Chris, he's facing the concert of his actions

933
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 6: and now if we run into Chris or Emma at

934
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 6: the next family event, we won't be interacting with them

935
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 6: at all. It's been a tough situation, but we're sticking

936
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 6: to our boundaries and I feel a lot better standing

937
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 6: my ground.

938
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story.

939
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 8: Wow, and I mean it kind of worked out, so

940
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 8: but she didn't. So OPI you never apologized, which I

941
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 8: don't think you really needed to. I think he has

942
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 8: to apologize for like really weird things that he's done.

943
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,720
Speaker 1: Agreed, and then.

944
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 8: Uh yeah, and now you're just like kind of you know,

945
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 8: you set boundaries and you're gonna keep them, and that's

946
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 8: all that you can do.

947
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: Really, we're in a great spot. We're in a great place.

948
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 1: We got a great husband and his mother in law

949
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: is cool. And that's the end of this story. We're

950
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: gonna go on to the next one.

951
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 8: My partner invited his sister to stay in our apartment

952
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 8: without my permission.

953
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: It's my apartment too, babe.

954
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 8: I thirty five Mail and my partner, thirty four Mail

955
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 8: live in a very small studio apartment with a separate

956
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 8: galley kitchen.

957
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 4: This will feature later, which.

958
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 8: Is quite large, but again it's a galley kitchen. The

959
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 8: separate bathroom is also quite small. The living in bedroom space,

960
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 8: while large enough for plenty of room two people, is

961
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 8: obviously open plans, so effectively the bedroom, living room, and

962
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 8: the sort of study area large just computer, bookshelves, et cetera,

963
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 8: are all in the same room. By the way, this

964
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 8: comes from user tree Whisper twenty six eighty six. And

965
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 8: if you want to submit your own stories, then go

966
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 8: to Okay Storytime Subredditt. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we're

967
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 8: here to give you good advice. Goofly, we don't have

968
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 8: all the answers, but we would tell you what we

969
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 8: would do in the situation, and we would love to

970
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 8: know what you would do in the comments. As Op says,

971
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 8: don't get me wrong. The apartment takes up the entire

972
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 8: top floor of the building, but it is still small.

973
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 8: Five guests for an evening is seriously pushing it comfort

974
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 8: wise in terms of space or places to sit that

975
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 8: don't include the bed. His sister wants to come visit,

976
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 8: and we initially said, and I hesitantly agree, considering the

977
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 8: space and the fact we I don't actually know her,

978
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 8: that one night was doable if we had to sleep

979
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 8: on the sofa bed in the same room. I don't

980
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 8: love this idea, but one night is whatever. I have

981
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 8: never met his sister. She lives in Turkey with her

982
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 8: husband and kid, and their family home is just outside

983
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 8: her city, where her father lives. I have never met

984
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 8: his family, yet, mostly due to living in different countries,

985
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 8: we've been in a serious relationship for about a year

986
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 8: and a half. While I've spoken to his sister a

987
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 8: few times by phone, and she seems lovely and is

988
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 8: aware we're in a serious relationship. I've tried to get

989
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 8: him to realize it's impossible and impractical for her and

990
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 8: her three year old son to stay with us for

991
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 8: four days. She doesn't particularly want to stay with her

992
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 8: husband's family here in our country, which I understand. I'm

993
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 8: sure lots of people have that scenario within laws. I

994
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 8: know my sister does, so I totally get it. Night

995
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 8: is already a lot in this space, but I wouldn't

996
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 8: have an issue if it were only that. Now, however,

997
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 8: he's extended that offer to four days without asking me

998
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 8: at all. It's customary in Turkish culture for visiting family

999
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 8: to stay with you, which I know is assumed, and

1000
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 8: I don't have an issue with that. But I do

1001
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 8: have an issue with the total lack of space we

1002
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 8: currently have. Plus, and this is in my mind, also

1003
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 8: an issue. His father and brother in law, being Turkish,

1004
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 8: though not religious, are anti OLGBTQ. Plus, the kid is

1005
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 8: clearly going to ask why two grown men are living

1006
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 8: in an apartment with only one bed, or will probably

1007
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 8: be confused as to why one of us is magically

1008
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 8: because I've no clue how that would work physically sleeping

1009
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 8: in the kitchen, remember that kitchen, Yes you do, my darling,

1010
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,959
Speaker 8: clever reader. Before I get to that, I'll just add

1011
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 8: that I'm currently not working side job search, so I'm

1012
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 8: home during the day. Frequently he suggested we or I

1013
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 8: sleep in the kitchen.

1014
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 4: Say it together.

1015
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 8: It's a galley kitchen, so unless it's a tartis and

1016
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 8: I've never noticed all this time, I do hope he's

1017
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 8: willing to demonstrate how the walls and floors space of

1018
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 8: the kitchen of which I am intimately acquainted as I'm

1019
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 8: the cook in our little family of two, work, because

1020
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 8: in all my hours in their whipping up meals each day,

1021
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 8: I have somehow failed to notice which magic button or

1022
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 8: lever I pressed to expand said space enough to reveal

1023
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 8: secret sleeping.

1024
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 4: Quarters for one, let alone two.

1025
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 8: Being that as it may, I should also state I

1026
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 8: was never a particular fan of Cinderella growing up, and

1027
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 8: am somewhat dismayed, as you might imagine, at the prospect

1028
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 8: of portraying her for the better part of a week.

1029
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 8: I don't think that's surprising to most people, but it

1030
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 8: seems a little lost on my unusually thoughtful partner. Oh

1031
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,919
Speaker 8: usually sorry, usually thoughtful partner. We do have a sofa bed,

1032
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 8: but that would mean we're all sleeping in the same room.

1033
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 8: She and the kid would, without question take the king

1034
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 8: size bed. I wouldn't dispute that remotely, which he feels

1035
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 8: might be a bit much privacy wise. I'm glad he

1036
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 8: agrees something is too much in that respect. I certainly

1037
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 8: do too, so I'm perplexed as to why he would

1038
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 8: offer this when it's not even really workable. I have

1039
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 8: made it very clear that not only is springing this

1040
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 8: on me like it's some wonderful surprise, beyond thoughtless and rude,

1041
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 8: it's also deeply disrespectful to me to not even ask first.

1042
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 8: We do not have room for this, No one will

1043
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 8: have much privacy, and he will also be working during

1044
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 8: most of their visit with us. I'm sure his sister

1045
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 8: is lovely, but I do not know her. It'll be

1046
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 8: intensely awkward and well intense if we're all in a

1047
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 8: tiny space together NonStop all day each day.

1048
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 6: Again, it's four days, not even four weeks.

1049
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, not even five days v.

1050
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: Five days. It's four days.

1051
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 6: And you're coming into this with so much negativity and

1052
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 6: so much assumption. First of all, Yeah, you're just assuming

1053
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 6: that she's just gonna stay at the apartment all day.

1054
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: Why is she coming? Why is she visiting in the

1055
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: first place. Yeah, you think you think she's gonna go

1056
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: out and maybe do stuff with You're done?

1057
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 8: Yeah, I feel like they'd probably want to, you know,

1058
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 8: especially a three year old.

1059
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 1: You gotta get them outside.

1060
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 8: I mean, there's no way she's gonna just be sitting

1061
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 8: in there all day being like la la la la la,

1062
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 8: let's make a mess, you know, in the gouty kitchen.

1063
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, it's not dude, it's his sister. Yeah,

1064
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: it's his sister he probably hasn't seen in years.

1065
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, because what it's different countries, I'm assuming.

1066
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're being at You're you're being incredibly rude and disrespectful.

1067
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 1: To be clear, you op are the rude one.

1068
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think that it's four days in the hotel.

1069
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's true. If you're not comfortable, you could always

1070
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 8: go get the hotel.

1071
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 6: If you're so viscerally uncomfortable with the thought of having

1072
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 6: to host your partner's family for four days.

1073
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: God forbid, go get yourself a motel six.

1074
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm sure she'll take the kid to go out

1075
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 8: and about naturally, but a lot of the time it's possible.

1076
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 8: She's also just here. Add to that, I'm the cook,

1077
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 8: So guess what happens in Turkish families? Was visitors saying,

1078
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 8: that's right, mister cinder f Fanella hear better heat that

1079
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,760
Speaker 8: dang kitchen up and gather his little attic mice buddies

1080
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 8: to help rattle some pots and pans and create various

1081
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,720
Speaker 8: culinary delights every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before

1082
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 8: he snuggles down in there at the end of the night.

1083
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 8: What a shame we don't have a cute, little sooty

1084
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 8: fireplace in the corner where I can lay my weary

1085
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:44,359
Speaker 8: little cinder glitter f in head at the end of

1086
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 8: the evening.

1087
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 4: But what do I know.

1088
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 8: Maybe it's all part of the wondrous kitchen Tartis buttons

1089
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 8: magic expansion pack I've so far failed to discover. As

1090
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 8: you can assume, I've come to the conclusion that in

1091
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 8: his excitement, my partner has entered some kind of wildish

1092
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 8: feverish psychosis, wherein reality is only going to hit him

1093
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 8: about the insane awkwardness and impossible working nature of this

1094
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 8: visit he so graciously agreed to. After the first day

1095
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 8: or two, it'll be too late to do anything then,

1096
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 8: as it would be rude.

1097
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: Oh you mean like what you're being right now? Okay?

1098
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 8: Anyway, I understand the cultural differences here. Where I'm from,

1099
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 8: my family would never be expected or assumed to stay

1100
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 8: with me. In fact, quite the opposite. That's not the

1101
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 8: case culturally here. It's not that I don't want to

1102
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,800
Speaker 8: spend time with them. If we had another bedroom it

1103
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 8: wouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't mind at all. But

1104
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 8: we don't, and three adults and one toddler is unworkable.

1105
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 8: My partner refuses to acknowledge this is woefully impractical and

1106
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 8: thinks that I'm being rude and telling him he has

1107
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 8: to realistically tell his sister that it's not possible. Beyond that,

1108
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 8: it's placing me emotionally in a very weird and uncomfortable

1109
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,280
Speaker 8: situation with someone I don't know yet alone for days

1110
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 8: whilst he's at work. What if we don't get on

1111
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 8: in person. I see so many ways in which this

1112
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 8: could go well, actually, but that doesn't detract from the

1113
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 8: fact he's still thoughtlessly throwing me to the wolves in

1114
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 8: a sense, one in which is a three year old

1115
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 8: who can't speak English and is actually currently going through.

1116
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: A biting phase. I wish I was joking.

1117
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,439
Speaker 8: If I had friends to stay with briefly, I would

1118
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 8: do that, but currently none are in a position where

1119
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:29,240
Speaker 8: that's a possibility for four days, or they have flat maids, etcetera.

1120
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,799
Speaker 8: I know this is written dramatically, and yes I'm trying

1121
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 8: to keep it light, but I am really annoyed, anxious,

1122
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 8: and just logistically rolling my eyes at how on earth

1123
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 8: he's thinking this is in any way a good idea.

1124
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: But what are we thinking?

1125
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 6: I think you should actually talk to your partner the

1126
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 6: way that you've talked to the internet here and see

1127
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 6: how they react. I have a feeling you haven't done

1128
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 6: that and won't do that because you know it would

1129
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 6: end probably your relationship because it's absurd the way that

1130
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 6: you're speaking about his family.

1131
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:02,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you're.

1132
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 8: I think it's a lot of woe is me right now? OPI, which,

1133
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 8: like I understand, like you want to be comfortable, you know,

1134
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 8: in your own house. I get that, but like, also,

1135
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,919
Speaker 8: it's four days. You can survive, Like it's not gonna

1136
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 8: be the end of the world. And I don't think

1137
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 8: that throwing you to the wolves is what your partner

1138
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 8: is doing. I think that he is just excited to

1139
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 8: see his sister after so long, yeah, and spend time

1140
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 8: with you know, his niece, nephew whatever they are. And like,

1141
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,280
Speaker 8: I just think that you're being like kind of unfair

1142
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 8: and like thinking that it's about you in this situation

1143
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 8: because it's actually not even about you at all. And

1144
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 8: I understand that, like maybe you know, you're thinking you

1145
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 8: have to do this, this, this, like, but the other

1146
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 8: thing is is you like he I understand that he's

1147
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 8: expecting you to do a lot. Your partner maybe is

1148
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 8: putting all of that like you have to host, you

1149
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 8: have to do this because maybe you are.

1150
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: Is he though we did. That wasn't any point.

1151
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 6: It really wasn't clear if that was expected or if

1152
00:51:58,640 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 6: he was just like, why I look this up and

1153
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 6: culturally it looks like they expect me to take.

1154
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:02,720
Speaker 1: Care of everything.

1155
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's that as well.

1156
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 8: I just think that it'll be You've been a little

1157
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 8: little bit dramatic, but I think that I think that

1158
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 8: you should. Actually, if you had the conversation with your partner,

1159
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 8: I think he would see you in a whole different light.

1160
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 8: And yeah, I don't think that would be good.

1161
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 6: So I think if you had a job where you

1162
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 6: could make money and pay rent at the apartment, maybe

1163
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 6: we'd be having a different conversation about who has the

1164
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 6: right to decide who stays and who doesn't.

1165
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 1: But somebody had.

1166
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 6: A real beautiful way of explaining that they're unemployed.

1167
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 8: He's annoyed that I'm not reacting well to it, to

1168
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 8: put it lightly, and is worried his sister will be offended.

1169
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 8: I'd think he should also begin to worry I'm offended too,

1170
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 8: quite frankly, but I don't think that's set in for

1171
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 8: him yet. I see both sides, but I can't help

1172
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 8: feeling I'm right with this. It is disrespectful to me

1173
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 8: to be placed in this position and then expected to

1174
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 8: cook and clean and entertain considering all the above.

1175
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole? Am I overreacting?

1176
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 7: Yes?

1177
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 4: PS.

1178
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 8: I thought I found the tartest button earlier, but it

1179
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 8: turned out to be a carbon monoxide alarm.

1180
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,839
Speaker 1: This man has jokes, you're funny, you'll tell ye.

1181
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 4: No luck yet.

1182
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 8: And then there are some comments comment number one not overreact.

1183
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 8: I disagree, and I don't understand why you'd give up

1184
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 8: your bed for anyone, let alone one person and a

1185
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 8: small child.

1186
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 6: Okay, so this person just doesn't know how to be

1187
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,240
Speaker 6: courteous is the answer to that.

1188
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 8: That's a major ick to me. Your partner is beyond rude.

1189
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 8: Here he can get them an airbnb, OHP says thanks.

1190
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 8: We would get them airbnb, but we can't afford to.

1191
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,799
Speaker 8: So that's the other thing, the bed thing.

1192
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: I don't mind.

1193
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 8: I'd insist on that if there was anywhere else to

1194
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 8: sleep that didn't involve us all in the same room

1195
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 8: slash moving other furniture to make the space possible to

1196
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 8: move in for four days. There's also another comment, comment number.

1197
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 4: Two, Who is she visiting? Is it you?

1198
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:06,240
Speaker 1: Boys?

1199
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 8: Because if it is and you have no room and

1200
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 8: she can't afford a place of her own, it's just

1201
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 8: a no go facts or facts, OHP says us. But

1202
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 8: also friends, she'll have to visit a little with in laws,

1203
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,919
Speaker 8: so it's not entirely just us, and yeah, we don't

1204
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 8: really have the room, but he's convinced somehow or other

1205
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,879
Speaker 8: we can make it work, which we realistically can't. And

1206
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 8: he's unable to get away from work. So I'm the

1207
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 8: one who's around. I literally cannot get my brain to

1208
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 8: wrap around how any of this is functional in his

1209
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 8: mind or at all a workable idea.

1210
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, it's just that every time I hear that,

1211
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 6: I think of like people who I know who like

1212
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 6: lived in like a five hundred square foot like room.

1213
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: With like six other people. Oh yeah, like.

1214
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 6: And it's just like, yeah, silly boy, it can work.

1215
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 6: You're just being incredibly unhelpful.

1216
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 1: You're just constantly being like, it won't work, it can't work.

1217
00:54:58,960 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: I won't let it work.

1218
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 6: It's not gonna to work, instead of looking for a

1219
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 6: single possible solution.

1220
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 8: Yeah, I feel like you're just looking You're looking at

1221
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 8: it as such like a negative thing that's going to happen,

1222
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 8: that's going to put you and your partner in this

1223
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 8: like horrible situation. And it's literally one, it's for four

1224
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:19,359
Speaker 8: days and two it's really like, I don't think your

1225
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,600
Speaker 8: partner is expecting you to just be at their beck

1226
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 8: and call. I think that's what that's kind of what

1227
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 8: you're thinking. Maybe there wasn't a clear like understanding of

1228
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 8: what you need to do, But like, I feel like

1229
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 8: they're not gonna be like, hey, you know whatever your

1230
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 8: name is, like, you know, make us a sandwich, Like

1231
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 8: they're not. I don't know that's how I feel you're

1232
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 8: portraying it, But I feel like they're you know, because

1233
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 8: you also said they're gonna be visiting friends and lass,

1234
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 8: so they're not going to be home. I get that

1235
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 8: he is excited to spend time with them here in

1236
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 8: our city, but his time will be limited and he's

1237
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 8: not seen the big picture realistically. No matter what way

1238
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 8: I try to make sense of it for him, he

1239
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 8: his stubborn streak is tuned right up to one hundred

1240
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 8: on this, one hundred percent on this. I might as

1241
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 8: well just paint his face on the wall. Talk to

1242
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 8: his sloppy, lopsided portrait about it.

1243
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 4: Reply, no, no, no.

1244
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 8: If he can't get time off work to entertain his

1245
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 8: sister and nephew, then they can't come. You are not

1246
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 8: the designated guest wrangler for him, And can you even

1247
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 8: lie down slash put an air mattress down in your

1248
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 8: galley kitchen. If you can he can sleep there, it's

1249
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 8: not enough remotely close to being a workable idea.

1250
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 4: They can't stay with you.

1251
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1252
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

1253
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 2: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

1254
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break from hous form more sponsors.

1255
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 6: My husband wanted to invite his sister's boyfriend, but I

1256
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 6: don't want to.

1257
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 8: Yeah, get him out of there.

1258
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 4: No boy's allowed.

1259
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: Get him out of here.

1260
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 6: And there is a trigger warning here for emotional slash

1261
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 6: verbal abuse. So my husband twenty six males birthday is

1262
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 6: coming up soon. We're not gonna do anything too big,

1263
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,399
Speaker 6: since you're both pretty broken looking for jobs. But I've

1264
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 6: been trying to get something together just so he's celebrated

1265
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 6: with his family. The thing I'm asking about is if

1266
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 6: I would be the a hole if I didn't invite

1267
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 6: his little sister twenty female boyfriend nineteen male to his party.

1268
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 6: It's not really a surprise party or anything like that,

1269
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 6: but my husband has already said he didn't want him

1270
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 6: to come. By the way, This comes from user pleasant

1271
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 6: Survey seven eight four five, and if you want to

1272
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 6: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

1273
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 6: storytime subvert it. I'm Dakota and I'm Man, and we're

1274
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 6: here to give you good advice. Goofully, But we don't

1275
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 6: have all the answers. We only know what we would do.

1276
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 6: So if you would do something different and let us

1277
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 6: know in the comments. As Op says, for some more info,

1278
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 6: let's call his sister Kayla.

1279
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 2: So.

1280
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 6: Kayla and her boyfriend met at their work and have

1281
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 6: been dating for only a few months, maybe four. Anyways,

1282
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 6: their relationship seemed to be going kind of okay in

1283
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 6: the beginning. He seemed to really like her, and she

1284
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 6: really liked him.

1285
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: I'll admit it.

1286
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 6: I kind of think he was maybe love bombing her

1287
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 6: in the beginning by how much he was shot, worrying

1288
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 6: her with compliments and telling her.

1289
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: That he loved her.

1290
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 6: Yes, not in love, but he loved her. But since

1291
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 6: I'm not exactly family and we're not super close, I

1292
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 6: didn't say much. Sometimes I worry about being paranoid since

1293
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 6: I've been through a similar relationship. But things started getting

1294
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 6: a little weird with my husband's other sister, let's name

1295
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 6: her Lucy. Lucy and Kayla are very close. They are

1296
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 6: only a few years apart. But Lucy started telling me

1297
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 6: in my husband things that were happening in the relationship

1298
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 6: between Kayla and her boyfriend that made her uncomfortable, but

1299
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 6: Kayla didn't seem to worry about it. He also says

1300
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 6: slightly inconsiderate things to Lucy, mostly about her not driving

1301
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 6: yet and not having a job. The way the household

1302
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 6: is set up with rides and everything, it's kind of

1303
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 6: difficult for her to get a job at the moment

1304
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 6: and to mostly practice. But he said stuff to her

1305
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 6: face about it, and also in secret to Kayla, saying

1306
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 6: how Kyla doesn't need to be paying for anything for her.

1307
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 6: She pays one thing her Spotify count, and maybe a

1308
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 6: few other things like when they go out, but I'm

1309
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 6: not sure. But the huge thing that blew up was

1310
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 6: a Pinterest board that he had made for Kayla. Lucy

1311
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 6: was trying to find a certain board both Kayla and

1312
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 6: Lucy had made together a while back, but Lucy noticed

1313
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 6: that Kayla had blocked her on Pinterest, so Lucy went

1314
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 6: to her parents account to try to find the board.

1315
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 1: On the list of her boards, she found one.

1316
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 6: Labeled Kayla's makeover, and the Pinterest board was filled with

1317
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 6: all sorts of styles, hairstyles, tattoos, piercings, seemingly what Kayla's

1318
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 6: boyfriend wanted her to get. The style was very out

1319
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 6: of place from Kayla's original style. Imagine her style as

1320
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 6: more coquettish. In this style she had pinned was more streetwear.

1321
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 6: I don't know if there's a big difference, but it

1322
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 6: felt like it to us. The boyfriend is Nigerian. I

1323
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 6: don't know if that has anything to do with it,

1324
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 6: and me and my husband aren't assuming that, but.

1325
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if that plays a factor.

1326
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 6: To say the least, me, He and my husband were

1327
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 6: pretty weirded out. I understand wanting to help a partner

1328
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 6: with a new style. Heck, even my husband and I

1329
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 6: have a pinteress board, but we don't pick out clothes

1330
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 6: for each other. That same day where Lucy found the

1331
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 6: pinterress board, he ended up coming to the house to

1332
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:13,320
Speaker 6: hang out.

1333
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 1: It was later at night.

1334
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 6: He used to have a curfew, but I guess he

1335
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 6: didn't anymore, and Lucy started hearing them arguing. Her room

1336
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 6: is next to Kayla's with a bathroom in between them,

1337
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 6: which can tell you how loud they were being. Lucy

1338
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 6: came to us we live on the opposite side of

1339
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 6: the house. She was listening to their argument and told

1340
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 6: us that Kayla's boyfriend was arguing with her about.

1341
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 1: Being on a cruise.

1342
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 6: He was on a cruise recently and he was annoyed

1343
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 6: at her for wanting to talk to him while he

1344
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:42,479
Speaker 6: was away. It was mostly just yelling back and forth

1345
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 6: between them, him saying he was pissing her off, and

1346
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 6: then things started to get weirdly physical as he told

1347
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 6: her to lay on the bed so he could check

1348
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 6: something out. I don't want to get into too much

1349
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 6: detail since it's not my surgery, but basically he was

1350
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 6: talking about a certain body part since a while back

1351
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 6: she had to have surgery on it, and he was

1352
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 6: asking if she could feel anything there. So at this point,

1353
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 6: my husband is pretty pissed off and wants to tell

1354
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 6: the guy to get out. I stopped him only for

1355
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 6: the reason that the chances of it being a misunderstanding.

1356
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 6: I didn't want him to have bad blood with his sister.

1357
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 6: She's been in unpredictable moods since she started dating him, rude, snappy,

1358
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 6: when she wasn't like that at all when I first

1359
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 6: met her, So the next morning, my husband and Lucy

1360
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 6: brought all this to the attention of my in laws.

1361
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 6: The in laws were all kind of horrified from what

1362
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 6: I heard. I wasn't really there during this time, since

1363
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 6: I was busy with commissions and in our room, but

1364
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 6: they decided to have a family meeting to discuss this,

1365
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 6: which me and my husband were again since we thought

1366
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 6: it should be approaching him more. I'm worried about this,

1367
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 6: not a why is your boyfriend acting like this and

1368
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 6: why are you allowing it?

1369
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: But from what my husband told me, it didn't go

1370
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 1: very well, so I'm sorry.

1371
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 6: I don't have all the details, but Kayla didn't take

1372
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 6: this well and thought everyone was being dramatic and her

1373
01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 6: parents were more upset than trying to help her, which

1374
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 6: is what I was worried about, since Kayla could have

1375
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:05,479
Speaker 6: probably shut down. I didn't hear anything about it until

1376
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 6: my husband got a text from his mom later that night.

1377
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 6: His mom basically said something along the lines of, we

1378
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 6: appreciate you looking after your sister and making sure she's safe.

1379
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 1: We think that.

1380
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 6: Lucy is jealous of Kayla's relationship since they used to

1381
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 6: be closer before he came into the picture that Lucy

1382
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 6: is doing a girl who cried wolf scenario, which rubbed

1383
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 6: me the wrong way. Lucy definitely isn't the type to

1384
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 6: make up stuff like that, especially when there was evidence involved.

1385
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 6: Lucy is definitely a more honest person, which is what

1386
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 6: has thrown us off. Another thing to add after the meeting,

1387
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 6: the boyfriend wanted to come and explain himself to Kayla's parents,

1388
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,479
Speaker 6: and perhaps he did. I'm not one hundred percent sure.

1389
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 6: What are you sure about?

1390
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 8: I know, I'm like, I don't know, like he might

1391
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 8: have done this, but like I don't know what happened.

1392
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 6: I'm sure you shouldn't be speaking on this as an

1393
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 6: authority because you don't know what's going on.

1394
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:58,479
Speaker 8: Yeah, this seems like a lot of like like I'm

1395
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 8: just I'm just gonna like that this happen, but I'm

1396
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 8: not really sure, but I'm gonna talk about it.

1397
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:04,959
Speaker 4: Like I was kind of there, Well.

1398
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna keep going.

1399
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 6: But as I learned from being and seeing these relationships

1400
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:12,520
Speaker 6: in friends, sometimes you just have to sit back and

1401
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 6: let them see it for themselves. Hopefully nothing bad will

1402
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 6: happen before then. So the original question is would I

1403
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 6: be the a hole for not inviting him to my

1404
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 6: husband's celebration. My husband has made it clear he doesn't

1405
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 6: want him coming, but we're not sure how it'll work

1406
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 6: out since my husband and his dad share a birthday,

1407
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 6: So I was just wondering would I be the ale

1408
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 6: if I didn't specifically reach out the invitation towards him

1409
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 6: for my husband's wishes. No, you can invite whoever you

1410
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:42,400
Speaker 6: want to your birthday, and you could also just like

1411
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 6: not tell the people you don't want to know about

1412
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,560
Speaker 6: your birthday going on. And if that last comment was

1413
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 6: about his dad's birthday Kala's boyfriend's dad's birthday having the

1414
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 6: same birthday as your husband, that is irrelevant.

1415
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what we're talking about. I wouldn't even

1416
01:03:57,720 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: just have the birthday at this point. It's crazy.

1417
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,480
Speaker 8: I just feel, well, first of all, it's his, you know,

1418
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 8: the boyfriend's dad's birthday, so I feel like, is it

1419
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 8: He would probably be pretty busy doing that unless they're

1420
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 8: not close.

1421
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: I don't know how it is it op's husband's dad's birthday.

1422
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 1: Are they born on the same day. I don't know.

1423
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 1: So much of this is unclear. But I know it

1424
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 1: is clear that, Yeah.

1425
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 6: Sometimes you got to take a back seat and let

1426
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 6: people figure out their relationship is toxic if you've appropriately

1427
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 6: explained to them, hey, I don't like the way this

1428
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 6: person treats you, which I don't think y'all have done.

1429
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 6: It sounds like, from the sound of it, you weren't involved.

1430
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:32,920
Speaker 6: But it sounds like the parents sat her down and said.

1431
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 1: You're the worst and you shouldn't tay.

1432
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 6: And it's like, yeah, now she's getting defensive instead of

1433
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 6: being like, hey, these are some warning signs you should

1434
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 6: look for in a partner.

1435
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: If a person's treating you like this, maybe in you know.

1436
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 6: Eight months from now, twelve months from now, they're going

1437
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 6: to be treating you worse. So has something to think

1438
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:51,040
Speaker 6: about if you want to keep dating.

1439
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 1: Your boy that you're dating right now. Who's Nigerian right

1440
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 1: which so far has had no bearing one soever on

1441
01:04:58,560 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: the entire story.

1442
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 6: What are we talking about. Let's finish this and there's

1443
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 6: an update. Oh yeah, give me the update first. Thank

1444
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 6: you everyone for your comments, even the ones telling me

1445
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 6: I wrote too much or shouldn't get involved.

1446
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate those.

1447
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:16,280
Speaker 6: So I decided to not exactly extend the invitation. I

1448
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 6: don't want any bad blood between me and Kayla or

1449
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 6: my husband and his sister, so if she brings him,

1450
01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 6: then me and my husband will be okay with that.

1451
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 6: I told him about how some of you guys said

1452
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 6: we shouldn't close her off even though we.

1453
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 1: Don't like him.

1454
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:30,280
Speaker 6: We both agreed we definitely want to be a support

1455
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 6: system if she needs us if something bad were to happen,

1456
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,720
Speaker 6: so we're deciding to keep the peace. I'm not sure

1457
01:05:35,720 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 6: if Lucy will, but I'll try to have her understand

1458
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 6: what you guys explained in the comments. I really hope

1459
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:42,640
Speaker 6: we can be that support that she can come to

1460
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:45,040
Speaker 6: if things get worse, but for her sake, I pray

1461
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 6: it doesn't. I probably won't update or respond to any

1462
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 6: comments since you guys already helped.

1463
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,520
Speaker 1: Me, and thanks you guys again. May all your pillows be.

1464
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 6: Cold and your favorite drinks always be crisp. And that

1465
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:58,680
Speaker 6: is the end of that story.

1466
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 8: What I learned nothing and got nothing out of that.

1467
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 6: So we're just gonna say we're not exactly inviting him,

1468
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 6: but if Kayla brings him, we're gonna be okay with it,

1469
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 6: which I guess is a good move, because like if

1470
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 6: she isn't a toxic bad relationship, like if you do

1471
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:17,040
Speaker 6: like prevent her and her boyfriend from going to the party,

1472
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 6: it just gives him another way for him to isolate

1473
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:21,600
Speaker 6: her from the rest of the family, which is a

1474
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 6: classic like toxic abusive relationship move.

1475
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, good, I guess, good call.

1476
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 6: But yeah, I don't know, maybe have an actual heart

1477
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:34,240
Speaker 6: to heart with you know, Kayla, about Hey, we're glad

1478
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 6: that you have a partner and that you you know,

1479
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 6: you like somebody, but like we just wanted to talk

1480
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 6: to you about like maybe warning scigns to look forward

1481
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,160
Speaker 6: a partner or red flags or like we wanted to

1482
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 6: ask you about wow you guys have been doing, you know,

1483
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:48,800
Speaker 6: instead of making it an intervention with her entire family.

1484
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: That didn't feel like the move at all.

1485
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, I feel like everything that went on here was pointless,

1486
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:58,919
Speaker 8: cause like nothing was really solved. Like obviously we don't

1487
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 8: know what happened, but hopefully, you know, like yeah, invite

1488
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:06,280
Speaker 8: him have over whatever. Hopefully nothing critical happens to where

1489
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:08,520
Speaker 8: they're like, you know, there's a physical fighter whatever.

1490
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:10,640
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, I don't think there will be.

1491
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 6: I think it's mostly just like, well, my boyfriend doesn't

1492
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 6: like him, and it's like, well, just do what you

1493
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 6: can keep the peace, and then try to explain to Kayla, hey,

1494
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 6: we think your.

1495
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 1: Boyfriend might kind of suck. I don't know if you've noticed.

1496
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, I feel like there were just a lot of

1497
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 8: things in that story that could have led to something

1498
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 8: that just were said and then never touched on.

1499
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:30,760
Speaker 4: Again, he's Nigerian.

1500
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:34,560
Speaker 8: He's Nigerian, and she had surgery somewhere.

1501
01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:37,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, which wow, Okay, don't know what that means. It's like,

1502
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 6: he's Nigerian. Does that mean he likes piercings in streetwear?

1503
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 6: I don't know, but I do know of Nigerians that

1504
01:07:45,280 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 6: him being Nigerian basically nothing nothing, basically had nothing to

1505
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:51,120
Speaker 6: do with that entire story. But I will tell you

1506
01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,840
Speaker 6: that that story is over, and so is this episode.

1507
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:56,360
Speaker 7: So if you love us, make sure you subscribe, and

1508
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 7: we love you and see tomorrow.