Speaker 1: Is this the gag?
Speaker 2: Yes? Who is this?
Speaker 3: Uh we'll just we'll just we'll just call.
Speaker 2: Me tea Tea. How old are you, Tea?
Speaker 3: Eighteen?
Speaker 2: Well, what's up, Tea?
Speaker 3: Not much. I was just about, uh, just about a
Speaker 3: load of bowl.
Speaker 2: How can I get you today, sir?
Speaker 3: Uh, I kind of got this. Uh, I kind of
Speaker 3: got a really weird story. So fuck it's weird. I've
Speaker 3: never told anybody this before. So when I was uh,
Speaker 3: when I was fifteen, I went to this hotsprings with
Speaker 3: my dad and like right as my parents were getting divorced,
Speaker 3: so he just kind of wanted to like take us
Speaker 3: out and do stuff. And uh, like fucking we go
Speaker 3: to this hotsprings with my with my cousins and uh, right,
Speaker 3: my female cousin that we have, she's like she like
Speaker 3: we went with them or whatever. We were like fucking
Speaker 3: We're like, you know, it was like a hot sping
Speaker 3: was like a pool and like a hot from next
Speaker 3: to you and all the kids was like going to
Speaker 3: the fucking pool. And I was so kind of you know, young,
Speaker 3: and she was fucking she told me I looked hot,
Speaker 3: and I was so like brought off by that, and
Speaker 3: like it took me back a little bit, and I
Speaker 3: just fucking like, I don't know, thought about it for
Speaker 3: a minute, and fucking like twenty minutes later, she came
Speaker 3: back up to me and like told me she wanted to,
Speaker 3: you know, do the deed, and uh basically short story,
Speaker 3: short story, later that night, we uh, you know I
Speaker 3: did the deed.
Speaker 2: All right now, Well it's her tea t Yeah yeah, look,
Speaker 2: look he's I'm more than happy to have this conversation
Speaker 2: with you, but I just like human being the human being. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 2: I just really really need to ask you if you're messing
Speaker 2: with her right now, because it's like the number one
Speaker 2: thing that people to talk about is having sex with
Speaker 2: their cousin. It's like, I don't know why that's like
Speaker 2: the time, it's like the boy who cried cousin fucking like,
Speaker 2: it's the number one thing that people call in to
Speaker 2: like make up. But I'm sure there are and I
Speaker 2: feel and if I feel bad for the people who
Speaker 2: actually did fuck their cousins that want to talk about
Speaker 2: it because of all the people who make who like
Speaker 2: make up stories about fucking their cousins. And I don't
Speaker 2: know if you're which of those two people you are,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna trust you whichever of those two people
Speaker 2: you say you are.
Speaker 3: Well, like I'm I definitely did not make the story
Speaker 3: of it. I feel like I've regretted it my whole
Speaker 3: fucking life. Like there's like like I feel like I
Speaker 3: just like suck my whole Like I feel like I
Speaker 3: don't necessarily fuck my life though, but like kind of
Speaker 3: fucked my sexual life because a little bit, because like
Speaker 3: it's just you know, that's like what I especially like
Speaker 3: when I listen to uh, this is kind of weird,
Speaker 3: but like every time I listen to that one fucking
Speaker 3: not jo is it a cool?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: That one song where he you know, he loses virginity
Speaker 3: and they like passed the note through school and like
Speaker 3: that every fucking time that song comes up on my playlist,
Speaker 3: that like that instant just fucking pops in my head
Speaker 3: that my first time was fucking my cousin. I just
Speaker 3: feel like I'm so like just so fucked. I should
Speaker 3: see the chap.
Speaker 2: I don't don't what what don't? First of all, I
Speaker 2: don't like the chat. Second about so tea A couple
Speaker 2: of questions mm hmm, first cousin or second cousin.
Speaker 3: Uh. So she's my my dad's first cousin's kids. I
Speaker 3: think that makes for my seconds.
Speaker 2: Okay, so she's not like your dad's brother's daughter. No, no, no, no, no, okay,
Speaker 2: all right, So she was your dad's cousin's daughter.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yep.
Speaker 2: Okay, and this was three years ago, yeah.
Speaker 1: About four.
Speaker 3: Well it happened. I think it happened. Well, my parents
Speaker 3: got divorced in twenty late twenty twenty, at the end
Speaker 3: of summer twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I mean, look, you know, I mean
Speaker 2: a second cousin. I'm not gonna I don't think that's
Speaker 2: I don't think it's good. I'm not I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: sign off. Yeah, look, I look, well I don't look. Ideally,
Speaker 2: if you're gonna have sex with someone, they would not
Speaker 2: be your cousin. But if but second cousin, at the least,
Speaker 2: it's at least it is better. It is better than
Speaker 2: first cousin. It could be worse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did, I did. I wouldn't. I did wrap
Speaker 3: it before I tapped it, you know, so there wasn't like, uh,
Speaker 3: you know, I wasn't direct skin contact. You know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Okay, but it was there. Can I how I see
Speaker 2: you were what you were fourteen and fifteen?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, how old?
Speaker 3: Well we're the same age. She's born like a couple
Speaker 3: of months before.
Speaker 2: I am okay, you're yeah. Do you ever like, do
Speaker 2: you ever see her like at like stuffy?
Speaker 3: So she's on my dad's side, so and my parents
Speaker 3: got divorced, and I don't. I don't see my dad anymore.
Speaker 3: So I don't see her at all, Like I haven't
Speaker 3: seen her. We used to go to the same high school,
Speaker 3: and even everyone time I did seear, I just fucking
Speaker 3: turned the hallway. I would have voiter as well as
Speaker 3: like fast as I could.
Speaker 2: Just you're being one hundred percent serious, right, yeah, I
Speaker 2: swear to God. Okay, I believe you. I really do.
Speaker 2: I I I try not to have this sounds real
Speaker 2: like you. I feel like i've anyway whatever you're telling
Speaker 2: the Chews, I believe you. Have you ever told anyone
Speaker 2: else about this?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: I feel so like I'm so shaky right now, like
Speaker 3: I I've never told anybody this, And I like even
Speaker 3: when people ask me what my first time was, I
Speaker 3: just told him I met some girl at Hotspring, like
Speaker 3: I told him. I just met some girl at Hosprings
Speaker 3: and it was random girl I met at Hot Springs.
Speaker 3: We just hooked up, and that is that the first time?
Speaker 2: Was that the first time you ever met her?
Speaker 3: No, we known each other for a little while before that.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you ever you ever go to a therapy
Speaker 2: to talk about this or you've literally this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, you're the first kind of therapy. I've brought
Speaker 3: this the first time I've ever gotten it off my chairs.
Speaker 2: Okay, well let's I mean, I have a few questions,
Speaker 2: But how does it feel to get it off your chest.
Speaker 1: Better?
Speaker 3: I think I feel a little little more.
Speaker 2: Okay, first of all, I mean, look, you're not the
Speaker 2: first guy to have sex with uh, their second cousin.
Speaker 2: They do that. These that there was a time in
Speaker 2: in America. This is I'm making this up, but I
Speaker 2: also I'm making this up, but it comes from a
Speaker 2: place that is is there's a kernel of truth. I
Speaker 2: think there was a period of time in human society
Speaker 2: where more people's sexual partners were their second cousins than not.
Speaker 3: Right, I got to keep it in the bloodline.
Speaker 2: I think. I don't know if that's true, and don't
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's true. It see. It sounds
Speaker 2: like it makes sense though, because people didn't used to,
Speaker 2: you know when back when people like you know, and
Speaker 2: they lived in like tribes and stuff. Like when people
Speaker 2: would hang out in tribes, everyone was having sex with
Speaker 2: their cousins all the time, you know, right, So you're
Speaker 2: not the first guy to do that, so you know,
Speaker 2: don't you don't have to feel that weird?
Speaker 3: Yeah, not the first guy in history, I guess. And
Speaker 3: maybe I mean, like the you know, royals used to
Speaker 3: you know, like trade off their cousins and shit. So
Speaker 3: me and I maybe my ancestors are proud of me
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're making this up. Are you making
Speaker 2: this up? No? Okay, right, I believe I believe you.
Speaker 2: I believe you. No, no, no, you don't be sorry.
Speaker 5: I believe you.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know. It's just I don't know,
Speaker 3: it's fucking I feel like I just I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like I fucked up my first time, Like
Speaker 3: I like now, looking back at it, I wish I
Speaker 3: just never I mean I wish I didn't do a
Speaker 3: lot of stuff in my life. You can't really be
Speaker 3: regretful about it, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: You're you're you're only eighteen, man, You're it's too young
Speaker 2: to have so many crazy regrets.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's just it's because weird, you know, talking to somebody
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 2: Tell me why, you let's get into this real quick,
Speaker 2: I mean what, so tell me why this seats awagh
Speaker 2: at you? Like obviously you know it's not a socially
Speaker 2: acceptable thing, like, but but let's let's let's really get
Speaker 2: into it. I mean why, let's get into your feelings
Speaker 2: about it, and maybe we can find something. You know,
Speaker 2: like what, tell me more about your feelings about this.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I came up from like
Speaker 3: a more I mean, I moved around a lot when
Speaker 3: I was a kid, but for the most of like
Speaker 3: my high school years, I lived in like this smaller town,
Speaker 3: and you know, like anything like uh drama related like that,
Speaker 3: especially if the cot wind just the slides, everybody would know,
Speaker 3: like everybody in the whole fucking town would know what
Speaker 3: you did.
Speaker 5: Mm hm.
Speaker 3: So it could be some of that, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 2: Look, man, you know, first of all, I mean you
Speaker 2: were four. First of all, I don't I kind of
Speaker 2: think anything that you did with your life before, anything
Speaker 2: you did with your life before you I mean you
Speaker 2: were fourteen when this happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Look, unless if you like killed somebody, kind of anything
Speaker 2: you did with your life before you were eighteen, you're fine,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 2: So you know, I think you can. You can, you can,
Speaker 2: you can get you can get it, you can get it.
Speaker 2: I think you can have a clean slate with this one.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean it's kind of not been eating me
Speaker 3: as much, especially because I moved out of the state
Speaker 3: that where she lives at and stuff like that, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like six hundred miles away from her now,
Speaker 3: and it's not like it's kind of in the back
Speaker 3: of my mind. But just like like I said, like
Speaker 3: some times, like especially when I'm at like work, I
Speaker 3: have my music in like that, I'm pretty sure it's
Speaker 3: that Jake Cole. I'm kind of nervous right now, so
Speaker 3: I'm just kind of my mind is kind of racing
Speaker 3: a little bit. But I fuck, I forget what it's called.
Speaker 3: Like you know what I'm talking Like that one song
Speaker 3: where he's like passing notes with his fucking chick or whatever,
Speaker 3: and he's talking about his first time. Like every single
Speaker 3: time that song comes up, or like anybody talks about
Speaker 3: their first time having sex, it always just like pops
Speaker 3: in my head. It's like, damn, you fucked up for
Speaker 3: your first time. Like you you know that you can
Speaker 3: never tell anybody about your first time because they're just
Speaker 3: gonna think, you know, you're a fucking cousin fucker or
Speaker 3: something like that. What Dreams, Yeah, that's the song I'm
Speaker 3: looking for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, don't you don't have to listen to Jake Cole?
Speaker 3: What's that I said?
Speaker 2: You don't have to listen to j Cole?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's a good just block.
Speaker 2: J Cole, just a good block. Jake Cole on Spotify.
Speaker 3: I guess I should.
Speaker 2: Well listen, man, I I don't don't. Don't let this
Speaker 2: ruin your life. You know, go ahead and you will
Speaker 2: have you will eventually have sex with people who are
Speaker 2: not your cousin. You will eventually.
Speaker 3: I've done other things.
Speaker 2: That's cool, whether whether you did or your day, it's fine.
Speaker 2: You're you're, you're you're gonna you're gonna be fine. T
Speaker 2: all right. If if you haven't told anyone this and
Speaker 2: I'm the first person you've told let I'm telling you
Speaker 2: you're gonna be fine. I'm telling you shouldn't forget about this,
Speaker 2: and I'm telling you to stop listening to J Cole.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm gonna pick that song off.
Speaker 2: Taking off the playlift. Why is it still even on there?
Speaker 2: If you're if it's making you, I'm just gonna say that. Look,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say this. T if I had a
Speaker 2: song that reminded me of fucking my cousin, I would
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have it on my playlist.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Yeah, I probably I
Speaker 3: should probably take that song.
Speaker 5: Off off.
Speaker 2: Tee. Is there any other way that I can help you?
Speaker 2: This evening? Was this helpful?
Speaker 3: I think this one was very helpful. Okay, honestly, I'm
Speaker 3: surprised because I literally saw your like live notification and
Speaker 3: I texted you and I didn't think you were gonna
Speaker 3: call me and I which is pretty surprising.
Speaker 2: Well, here we are, and just here we are, just
Speaker 2: two guys who are gonna be okay.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else want to say to the people
Speaker 2: in the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Uh, just keep it real and Uh, don't suck your
Speaker 3: cousin because.
Speaker 1: You'll regret it.
Speaker 2: All right, take care of man.
Speaker 3: You too. I love the show.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thanks brother, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Have a good one.
Speaker 2: You too. I lost my virginity a two to my
Speaker 2: first girlfriend when I was eighteen years old, and like
Speaker 2: six years later, she sends me a text and it's
Speaker 2: a picture of her wearing a Therapy Gecko T shirt
Speaker 2: and she says, my friends found out that I lost
Speaker 2: my virginity to the Therapy Gecko, and so they bought
Speaker 2: me this T shirt. I hope you're doing well. It
Speaker 2: was actually very very kind. Hey, folks, this is Lyle.
Speaker 2: I am very excited to announce that I am going
Speaker 2: back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy
Speaker 2: Gecko Live all across the country. If you've never been
Speaker 2: to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable,
Speaker 2: wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko therapy
Speaker 2: sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
Speaker 2: And if you've been to the sh show before, I
Speaker 2: have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
Speaker 2: If you're a fan of the podcast, you're gonna have
Speaker 2: a great time at the live show, so I hope
Speaker 2: to see you guys there. Go to therapy geckotour dot
Speaker 2: com or check the link in the episode description for
Speaker 2: a full list of cities where tickets are available. Also,
Speaker 2: if you don't see your city on the list of cities,
Speaker 2: please still click the link and RSVP with your phone
Speaker 2: number so I can contact you when tickets go on
Speaker 2: sale for your city, because I'm going to announce a
Speaker 2: bunch more dates very soon. Gek bless Hello. Hi, what's
Speaker 2: your name, sir?
Speaker 5: Oh? This is Mike. Who's this? Uh?
Speaker 2: It's the Gecko guy.
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Hey, man, what's up Mike? How you doing, buddy? What's
Speaker 2: what's going on?
Speaker 1: Not much, man, I'm just you know, chilling out calling
Speaker 1: in the gek you know. Well, wow, I got nervous.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize I was going to get nervous.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny. I'll tell a story real quick.
Speaker 2: So back I first, I used to do this show
Speaker 2: on uh Reddit. That's how the show first started. As
Speaker 2: there used to be this thing called the Reddit Public
Speaker 2: Access Network where people would like live stream themselves to Reddit,
Speaker 2: and if enough people were watching your stream, Reddit would
Speaker 2: actually put your stream to the front page of Reddit.
Speaker 2: And so that's kind of how I got started doing this,
Speaker 2: is like my streams kept getting to the front page
Speaker 2: of Reddit, and I, you know, there'd be like forty
Speaker 2: thousand concurrent viewers on my Reddit streams, and I, for
Speaker 2: some reason, I just never got nervous. I really, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I couldn't really like feel the
Speaker 2: presence of those people, and it just my my central
Speaker 2: nervous system never spiked or anything like that. But here's
Speaker 2: what's Interestyle, Well, hold on me. Let me just restressing though,
Speaker 2: is that there occasionally would be other streamers who would
Speaker 2: do call in shows. And I remember there was this
Speaker 2: other streamer. I don't remember what their name was, but
Speaker 2: I was bored one night and I was watching this
Speaker 2: other streamer who like had a call in show and
Speaker 2: they maybe had like fifteen people watching their stream. But
Speaker 2: I called in and they picked up, and for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: I got nervous when I was on the phone. It
Speaker 2: was so weird to me. I was like, why am
Speaker 2: I nervous calling in to somebody else's stream but I'm
Speaker 2: totally fine on my own. It didn't make any sense
Speaker 2: to me. It kind of made me like realize what
Speaker 2: it was like to be on the other side of
Speaker 2: the phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, that is kind of funny. And I'm
Speaker 1: used to, like, you know, I've like done singing in
Speaker 1: theater and stuff like that, and I should be used
Speaker 1: to talking to people live. But you know, when you're
Speaker 1: on you know, your hero's phone line is pretty cool.
Speaker 2: I'm not. There's no way I'm your hero.
Speaker 1: I have literally, oh honestly, you know what, I have
Speaker 1: discovered a new like interesting path because not only of you,
Speaker 1: because of other streamers too. Like I didn't even realize
Speaker 1: it was a thing, you know, and I here, I am,
Speaker 1: like this old dude hanging out on the internet, just
Speaker 1: found lyle you know, well.
Speaker 2: Hold on, so what what's this new path that you
Speaker 2: found as a result of like streamers.
Speaker 1: You know, I was really tired of working for big
Speaker 1: corporations and stuff like that, and I just like went
Speaker 1: off and did my own business thing because I saw
Speaker 1: a lot of people just kind of doing the the
Speaker 1: their own thing, you know. And now the internet is
Speaker 1: so cool you can pretty much do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: I mean, you could always do whatever you wanted to
Speaker 1: within reason, right, but now it seems like a little
Speaker 1: bit safer and more fun, you know, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's gonna dig in your thing.
Speaker 2: Well, what tell me, what's this? What's this thing that
Speaker 2: you're doing? What's this biz?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I'm just I'm I'm working
Speaker 1: on computers, you know.
Speaker 2: I uh.
Speaker 1: I help people with their uh with their computers, you know,
Speaker 1: recovering data, doing you know whatever, helping their website. Just
Speaker 1: you know, I do all the discourse. I'm a tech guy,
Speaker 1: you know, so I spend a lot of time doing
Speaker 1: tech stuff, and just I don't know, decided one day
Speaker 1: I was tired of do I'm tired of doing it
Speaker 1: for everybody else except for myself, you know, and like
Speaker 1: I wanted to do a project for myself. I wanted
Speaker 1: to do a project for myself.
Speaker 2: I like that. I like that, I think I I mean,
Speaker 2: is that like uh or I'm I'm not a future
Speaker 2: ologist or an economist or anything, but that seems to
Speaker 2: me like a utopian world. Like everybody's a freelancer. You know,
Speaker 2: there's no like nine to five corporate shits kind of
Speaker 2: work when there needs to be work done, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I kind of like that, you know, like
Speaker 1: we can all kind of be ourselves and you know,
Speaker 1: do our thing. By the way, I was at the
Speaker 1: Syracuse Show, dude, and it was so much fun experience.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't, I really like and my wife,
Speaker 1: you know, she was like a little skeptical, you know,
Speaker 1: because with Nana fifty, you know, not not and you're
Speaker 1: pretty young, right, you're like in your twenties, dude, So like,
Speaker 1: you know, but I get along with I get a
Speaker 1: lot of the stuff that you guys are doing. You know,
Speaker 1: I saw you actually the first time I saw you
Speaker 1: was in an interview with the guy from AFN or
Speaker 1: you know, at the av EN the AVN.
Speaker 2: Oh who wait, somebody was interviewing me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who dude was interviewing you on YouTube on the ABN.
Speaker 1: So I was like, who's this get go guy? And
Speaker 1: who a rabbit hole? Some porns to meet some porn
Speaker 1: star or wanna be porn guy?
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I inspired you to create a computer repair business.
Speaker 4: Well it's repair business, but yeah, I mean yeah, yeah essentially, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: you inspired me like you and actually a.
Speaker 1: Bunch of other streamers. Actually, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: watched you know, if you're on twitch at all. But
Speaker 1: there's a gamer streamer called Pirate Software. That guy, he's amazing.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a bunch of guys like you who
Speaker 1: are out there just you know, you can cultivate your
Speaker 1: own Internet experience at this point, it's kind of interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it is cool. I was having this conversation
Speaker 2: with someone last night. It's like, uh, you can really
Speaker 2: kind of like, do you it's you. We live in
Speaker 2: a universe where it's like easier than ever to do
Speaker 2: your own thing, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so yeah, So I mean, so, did you.
Speaker 2: Did your wife like the show?
Speaker 5: Was?
Speaker 2: She was? She not skeptical anymore? Afterwards?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did you like the show Hunt the
Speaker 1: Gecko Show? Did you like it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Liked it?
Speaker 2: Okay, that's good. That's cool because that's my that's my
Speaker 2: like barometer. And people are gonna, I've I've been talking
Speaker 2: to so many people who happened to be at my
Speaker 2: live shows on this podcast lately that people are gonna
Speaker 2: think it's plants. But that's my real barometer to see
Speaker 2: if if the show was any good or not, if
Speaker 2: like some person who's like boyfriend or girlfriend just dragged
Speaker 2: them there, had a good time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she had a great time. I mean, I
Speaker 1: mean there were some weird The people who come out
Speaker 1: stays are pretty interesting, and that's why I like the show, dude.
Speaker 1: It's just like it's a unique formula. You know. I'm
Speaker 1: interested in streaming too, and like I've always been thinking
Speaker 1: of like what the hell can I do in streaming world?
Speaker 1: You know, But you show pretty much anybody you can
Speaker 1: do any fucking thing really well. You can go interviewing
Speaker 1: people and that's fucking great. And I think you're hilarious
Speaker 1: and yeah about it.
Speaker 2: Thanks for being so nice to me. Nothing about me.
Speaker 2: I'm curious about you. So you're you're you're you turn
Speaker 2: just turned fifty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm turning fifty.
Speaker 2: This name? Man, what's it? So it's interesting because I
Speaker 2: mean mostly I talked to I feel like I'd like
Speaker 2: to think like like anecdotally, you know, it seems as
Speaker 2: though we have a wide age range of people you know,
Speaker 2: coming in on this on this, on this thing. But
Speaker 2: you know, when I go when I look at like
Speaker 2: my analytics and stuff, it is it's mainly like eighteen
Speaker 2: to thirty, you know, So what what's.
Speaker 1: I'm an outlife?
Speaker 2: What's going on at fifty. What's happening, how you're feeling,
Speaker 2: how you're thinking, how's life, what's what's what can you
Speaker 2: tell us?
Speaker 1: Oh, dude, you know it's it's fun, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm on multi you know, many depressant medications and you know, kids, divorced,
Speaker 1: all the fun stuff. But but you know, I manage
Speaker 1: my life. I go with therapy. You know it's good.
Speaker 1: You know, people should go to their therapy. They should,
Speaker 1: you know, I think that.
Speaker 2: So now, actually you go ahead, go ahead and finish.
Speaker 2: I'll say I'll say my questions to the end.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, I was just gonna say that.
Speaker 1: You know, I think everybody should, you know, uh, find
Speaker 1: their own path. But don't you know ever stop working
Speaker 1: on yourself. You know that's what I do.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to tell you something. It's a little crazy,
Speaker 2: but uh, I feel like it's good for I'm just
Speaker 2: going to say it because I think it's only fair
Speaker 2: to like let people know where I'm at. Sometimes I
Speaker 2: I've been like fair, like I've been in kind of
Speaker 2: like a crazy depression for a bit and I have.
Speaker 2: So have you like been depressed for like your whole life?
Speaker 2: Would you consider yourself like have depression.
Speaker 1: Uh oh yeah, I'll diagnosed for sure. Oh yeah, diagnosed
Speaker 1: and everything. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, like I've been in a crazy depression and I
Speaker 2: kind of like, bruh, this is kind of dark. But
Speaker 2: I thought to myself kind of recently, like, dude, you know,
Speaker 2: if every day is gonna feel like this for the
Speaker 2: rest of my life, like I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: like worth it, you know what I mean. And because like,
Speaker 2: because like I'm twenty I'm twenty six, and I used
Speaker 2: to have this idea in my mind that like when
Speaker 2: I turned the thirty I would like explode like that
Speaker 2: actually wouldn't even be like like that that like the
Speaker 2: reality of me getting older doesn't even exist. I'm not
Speaker 2: I'm not saying like I'm just gonna tell myself. I'm saying, like,
Speaker 2: it doesn't. It's not I don't think about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't like past a certain time. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you oh, dude.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm curious what your perspective is because your fifty,
Speaker 2: so you've been dealing with depression for you know, twice
Speaker 2: as long as I have. What's what's up? What's your take,
Speaker 2: What's what's your thoughts, what's your feelings? Had you overcome it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I mean it's just basically keep it a
Speaker 1: positive attitude. That's all I've done.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: I finally went on Okay, so you know, I did
Speaker 1: go on the meds because it was getting kind of
Speaker 1: like a little bad where you know, when you feel
Speaker 1: those depressive thoughts where you know, self harm or any
Speaker 1: of that stuff. Dude, you got to see a doctor
Speaker 1: or a psychologist and get on some meds, you know, quickly,
Speaker 1: because that'll help you turn things around. And that's why
Speaker 1: I did, you know, And I'm still learning, you know.
Speaker 1: Every day I just try to stay positive, you know,
Speaker 1: take care of my self. How much balance do you
Speaker 1: have between the computer and like touching.
Speaker 2: Graph I'm trying. I mean it's hard because I, like,
Speaker 2: you know, what I do is on the computer, but
Speaker 2: also a lot of what I a lot of what
Speaker 2: I do is not on the computer, you know, like
Speaker 2: the show in fucking Syracuse. I I am easily easily
Speaker 2: happiest when I'm uh in front of you know, actual
Speaker 2: human being.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: I get so here. I'm curious about this because this
Speaker 2: is something I've been talking to a friend a lot
Speaker 2: about this because the whole like meds and therapy thing
Speaker 2: like I've been so like when I get really depressed,
Speaker 2: I kind of think to myself, like, Okay, I'm pretty
Speaker 2: sure that all of this is due to external like life,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like like there's something fixed
Speaker 2: like either like whatever, like uh, you know, interpersonal relationships
Speaker 2: are fucked up, or like career stuff is like fucked up,
Speaker 2: or like like you can actually peg it to something
Speaker 2: external in your life. And and I've tried to like
Speaker 2: figure this out, like is it is happiness and not
Speaker 2: being depressed like a symptom of like your literal brain
Speaker 2: chemistry that like medication can fix or that you know
Speaker 2: have meditation and perspective can fix. Or is it literally
Speaker 2: like nah, dude, you got to like unfuck your actual
Speaker 2: like life and make actual different changes to your life.
Speaker 2: And I go very back and forth on it because
Speaker 2: I've I've had a lot of you know, I have
Speaker 2: a lot of things in my life right now that
Speaker 2: I think would you know, I I at one point
Speaker 2: really wanted and so if I just shifted my perspective
Speaker 2: to be more grateful for the things I have, I
Speaker 2: think I'd be happier. But then on another point. I
Speaker 2: do look at a lot of aspects of my external life,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yeah, that looks like I'm looking at
Speaker 2: my fucking room right now, and it looks hilarious like this,
Speaker 2: there's gecko suits straddled and upon this underwear in my sink. Bro, Like,
Speaker 2: there's you know, stuff to be well. I mean, you're here.
Speaker 4: Let's say you gotta roll it back, though, dude, you
Speaker 4: gotta roll it back.
Speaker 1: Let's roll it back here, be realistic. You are a
Speaker 1: twenty something year old single dude, right, It's true. No
Speaker 1: one's expecting you not to have your underwear strewn about
Speaker 1: the house. Okay. When I was twenty seven, dude, the
Speaker 1: underwear was everywhere. So you're good. You're good there. Don't
Speaker 1: worry about being slaw Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's just me that I meant that to say.
Speaker 2: And and the the underwear in my sink is is
Speaker 2: a is a microcosm of the underwear of my sink.
Speaker 2: Is is like a metaphor for just like external things
Speaker 2: being like fucked up. And so basically what I'm getting
Speaker 2: at is like I'm trying to Basically what I'm getting
Speaker 2: at is simply how I'm trying to determine how much
Speaker 2: of my unhappiness is based upon things wrong in my
Speaker 2: external life or things wrong in my internal brain chemistry
Speaker 2: and perspective. And I'm curious what your death take is
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 1: I honestly think it's like a mix, right, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I've been using both. I've been using the CP
Speaker 1: what they call the CPT, the cognitive behavioral therapy and medication,
Speaker 1: and they and they both worked. You know, I got
Speaker 1: through a divorce. I also, you know, I do things
Speaker 1: outside like you. I do things outside of my regular
Speaker 1: work too, you know, like I'll do I take I
Speaker 1: have a specific thing that I do for exercise that
Speaker 1: I'll do or you know, I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: set up a routine, you know, people and kids, Like
Speaker 1: maybe kids were the one thing that kind of helped
Speaker 1: me through some of this too, dude. Yeah, It's like
Speaker 1: when I had kids and you know, relate, you know,
Speaker 1: regular relationships. Finally, you know, it took a while, but
Speaker 1: you know, when I finally got there, I was able to,
Speaker 1: you know, uh, find some more balance in my life
Speaker 1: by exerting different you know, taking the energy off me
Speaker 1: a little bit and putting it up on you know,
Speaker 1: my family and the people who are close to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well how old are you?
Speaker 1: Used to take a more Buddhist approach to life, and
Speaker 1: now I'm taking like a more Buddhist approach to life.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm very I try to make a giving
Speaker 1: thing every day. You know. I try to be kind
Speaker 1: to people.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I know the Internet is a shits pool of of
Speaker 1: of fun, you know, but it's you know, I try
Speaker 1: to be I try to be nice as possible, but
Speaker 1: I'm also kind of sarcastic. So you know, the Internet
Speaker 1: is perfect for me.
Speaker 2: So how old were you when you started your family.
Speaker 1: I was in my thirties. Yeah, like my thirties something.
Speaker 2: So what were you doing? So in your twenties, what
Speaker 2: were you doing? Were you just like bumming around? What
Speaker 2: are you doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was going to Yeah, I was going to college.
Speaker 1: You know. I lived in a bunch of places. I
Speaker 1: lived in Baltimore, I lived in Philly. I lived Yeah,
Speaker 1: I lived a bunch of places, you know, just traveling around.
Speaker 1: I like to travel, you know, go go places. So
Speaker 1: I just with the you know, follow girlfriends here and
Speaker 1: there too. You know. That's the other thing that I
Speaker 1: haven't been great at is relationships. So but now like
Speaker 1: I feel like I finally at me in my fifty
Speaker 1: and finally like at that point where I can be
Speaker 1: good at relationships.
Speaker 2: Why why do you think you weren't good at relationships?
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, it's a good question. Just
Speaker 1: like early life stuff happened, I don't, you know, like
Speaker 1: everybody has got life stories, you know. So I think
Speaker 1: that probably my early lifehood stuff when I was growing
Speaker 1: up as a teenager or a young one kind of
Speaker 1: impacted my adulthood, you know. But I kind of like
Speaker 1: late loomed in college in the finished until it was
Speaker 1: like twenty five or whatever. Hell man, I just paid
Speaker 1: off my student loans.
Speaker 2: Oh congratulations, gee, I meant, yeah, gratulations.
Speaker 1: We took me twenty five years.
Speaker 2: But you know, you know, crazy, what did you major in?
Speaker 1: I have a two year degree at radio and television
Speaker 1: and a business degree.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's crazy that it that it it
Speaker 2: takes that long.
Speaker 5: Yep.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, and I was just you know, I was
Speaker 1: kind of doing it on my own two you know.
Speaker 2: So, how do you feel as though you've gotten better
Speaker 2: at relationships?
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, the I mean, honestly, the therapy you know,
Speaker 1: like talking through things. You know, my therapist has kind
Speaker 1: of guided me through things as its kind of like
Speaker 1: a life coach, you know what I mean. So been
Speaker 1: guiding me through you know, when I'm being an asshole
Speaker 1: or when I'm you know, doing the right thing or
Speaker 1: the wrong thing. You know, that's been helpful.
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 1: So having some guidance you.
Speaker 2: Know, Well are you are you? Are you happy now? Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I'm I'm much happier now.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I'm my own boss and uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: love it.
Speaker 2: Do you think has your life gotten better every year?
Speaker 2: Or is it has it kind of been like a
Speaker 2: like an up and down chart or like has it
Speaker 2: kind of been like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's enough. Yeah it's not. It's not like
Speaker 1: even for me.
Speaker 2: No, man, But does it But does it trend upwards
Speaker 2: over over time?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: Sure. I mean listen, you're talking to a bit of
Speaker 1: a niolist too, so does it really? I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you understand nelism or not a nihilism.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's annis you're an nihilist. Nihilist yeah, one cheerful
Speaker 2: lass nihilist.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, well, no, but like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: have to be happy. But you know, the long and
Speaker 1: short of it is, does this all really matter?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 1: And that's why I think. I think it's kind of funny,
Speaker 1: you know, Like that's the funny part about life, is
Speaker 1: like does this all matter?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: So that's why it's great to be what you want
Speaker 1: to do and do what you want to do, like
Speaker 1: like you ghek man.
Speaker 2: Well, there's this two there's this two panel comic that
Speaker 2: I see all the time, and it's a guy who's uh,
Speaker 2: face down, shrouded in a cloud of rain, and the
Speaker 2: caption says, nothing matters. And then next to it is
Speaker 2: another guy and he's smiling and his hands are up
Speaker 2: in the air and he's he's cheerful, and he goes
Speaker 2: nothing matters, and you're you're the second guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the second guy, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: Well, Mike, it was a really good, great pleasure talking
Speaker 2: to you, man, geez, I, Uh, was there anything It's
Speaker 2: okay if not. This was a fun conversation. But was
Speaker 2: there anything in particular that you wanted to get off
Speaker 2: your chest or talk about before we go?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't know, I mean, I just you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like you want me to tell you
Speaker 1: about like a little bit about my life. I could,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to extend my call. I
Speaker 1: want to give other people a chance, So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just say, uh, you know, people be kind to each
Speaker 1: other or find a balance in life, and you know,
Speaker 1: keep watching you know Wild because he's awesome. And by
Speaker 1: the way, the Doja cat thing was awesome, dude, that
Speaker 1: was then ethic, Like, you get these great guests.
Speaker 5: You know what, Mike, what's that?
Speaker 2: You're my fucking hero?
Speaker 1: All right, no, you're my hero.
Speaker 2: He I'm hanging up.
Speaker 1: You take care of Mike, Thank you very much.
Speaker 2: What a nice guy? What a what a nice fucking guy.
Speaker 2: What a nice fucking guy? I liked Mike. What else
Speaker 2: do I have to say about Mike in this post
Speaker 2: post call recap comments, I'm trying to say more about
Speaker 2: about the calls after they end. I'm trying to say
Speaker 2: more about the calls after they end. But it's because
Speaker 2: I've started putting these post call thoughts in the podcast.
Speaker 2: But it's kind of it always feels like, you know,
Speaker 2: when you're trying to leave a voicemail and you like
Speaker 2: the thing beeps and you panic and you're like, I
Speaker 2: don't know what to say. That's how I feel every
Speaker 2: time a phone call ends and I'm supposed to like
Speaker 2: give post call thoughts on it is like, I don't
Speaker 2: know what to say. I didn't prepare for this. I
Speaker 2: only prepared to talk to another person. I wasn't prepared
Speaker 2: to just rant and have it forever be on someone
Speaker 2: else's phone, let alone you know, thousands of people's phones
Speaker 2: on this podcast. See, I've gone so far that I
Speaker 2: don't even this post call thought isn't even about Mike anymore.
Speaker 2: His name was Mike, right, thank god? Okay, I looked
Speaker 2: at the chat. His name was Mike. Mike was a
Speaker 2: cool guy. That's all I have to say. That's another
Speaker 2: thing with these post call thoughts. I'm on a roll.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep going. I had a lot of coffee
Speaker 2: before this, which is I don't know there's a correlation
Speaker 2: between the amount of coffee that I have and how
Speaker 2: alert I feel on these podcasts. But whatever this is,
Speaker 2: we're still going. We're putting all this in that, we're
Speaker 2: keeping all of this in. All these post call thoughts
Speaker 2: are going in. That's another thing about post call thoughts
Speaker 2: is here's all I really have to say about that
Speaker 2: call is that Mike was a nice guy. I liked Mike.
Speaker 2: I don't have a further right now. Actually, okay, we
Speaker 2: don't want to do that. Why don't I give it
Speaker 2: an analysis of why I liked I liked Mike because
Speaker 2: he was a great Here's why I liked Mike. We're
Speaker 2: gonna analyze it. I liked Mike because he was a
Speaker 2: gracious conversationalist. He allowed me to talk and responded in
Speaker 2: a way that really proved that he was listening and
Speaker 2: paying attention. He was optimistic, positive person. That's the kind
Speaker 2: of people we want to be around. Is that's that's
Speaker 2: who you want in the life is a fucking war,
Speaker 2: and on your army, you want positive, optimistic people who
Speaker 2: are ready to go into battle, such as Mike. He
Speaker 2: was a positive, optimistic guy. He was a good conversationalist.
Speaker 2: What's the third final thing reason I liked Mike. Oh,
Speaker 2: Mike gave me hope. That's why I liked Mike. He
Speaker 2: gave me hope, you know, because I meant what I
Speaker 2: said back there. I think, you know, my life also
Speaker 2: feels like a very big trend up trend down, you know,
Speaker 2: ups and downs things. But here's Mike fifty years old,
Speaker 2: going through life, still kicking. I don't know. I imagine
Speaker 2: I'm just like living life year after year after year
Speaker 2: after year. I imagine it tires on some you know,
Speaker 2: and so there is something or like I imagine that it'll
Speaker 2: like like, by the time I reach fifty, I'll just
Speaker 2: be like so tired.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: And so when I talk to Mike, I'm like, I'm inspired.
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, maybe I won't be maybe I'll
Speaker 2: still be able to do to you know, enjoy life
Speaker 2: and be kicking and doing stuff. So I liked Mike.
Speaker 2: And if this was a voicemail, it'd be a very
Speaker 2: long voicemail. I'm done. I got to take another call
Speaker 2: or else. This post call thought is going to keep
Speaker 2: going forever. But we're putting all this in the podcast
Speaker 2: and scene.
Speaker 5: How from James?
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, what is your name?
Speaker 5: You can call me James?
Speaker 2: James? What's up, James? How's life? How can I get
Speaker 2: you today? Oh?
Speaker 1: Not much?
Speaker 5: I'm actually it's funny. I actually was going to go
Speaker 5: into see your podcast right now, actually, but I'm like, hey,
Speaker 5: you're streaming, might as well try.
Speaker 2: Calling TFW you listen to the podcast, but then you
Speaker 2: are the podcast.
Speaker 5: That's basically it. Man, that's pretty what it is.
Speaker 2: Well anyway, shit, uh what's swear?
Speaker 5: Do you?
Speaker 2: Uh? Tell me? Tell me something anything at all about life,
Speaker 2: about you?
Speaker 5: About honest me. It's funny because whenever I have the
Speaker 5: idea of calling you and having idea of like talking
Speaker 5: to you, I always have all these ideas we have
Speaker 5: to talk about, but never a precise life idea. I'd say,
Speaker 5: I'd say one issue I'm having. I guess it is
Speaker 5: more like nostalgia. I don't know if you ever have that,
Speaker 5: like an issue with nostalgia.
Speaker 2: You have an issue with nostalgia? Yes, tell me more?
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
Speaker 5: So it's like I would say that, like I let
Speaker 5: nostalgia kind of like dictate some actions. That's been over
Speaker 5: my life and it kind of ruined some friendships over
Speaker 5: the years.
Speaker 2: Interesting, interesting, tell me if you want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: What's the get Let's get an example in here. What's
Speaker 2: what's a time where you made a decision based off
Speaker 2: of nostalgia?
Speaker 5: Well, I would say, like to put it shortly, back
Speaker 5: in eighth grade, I had a girl that I was
Speaker 5: in love with who was my best friend, and I
Speaker 5: just never told her about it. And so over the years,
Speaker 5: as like time progress, we became a little distant but
Speaker 5: also together in a way, so like long, this is
Speaker 5: a friendship, but not also being too close to being
Speaker 5: best friends anymore, okay. And so like over the years,
Speaker 5: me and this girl, we've had mutual friends, we had
Speaker 5: mutual like people we knew together. And so what ended
Speaker 5: up happening was that as time progress, we just it's
Speaker 5: it apart. And so around i'd say twenty twenty, we
Speaker 5: met back up. We had a mutual friend who said, hey,
Speaker 5: let's hang out, you know, let's catch you back up
Speaker 5: to speed. And so to me that was just like amazing,
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, let's hang out. Long story short. The energy
Speaker 5: was just like very I would say, not, it's more
Speaker 5: like intoxicating, like there's down. The whole feeling was just like, hey,
Speaker 5: everyone consents that there's something between us around us.
Speaker 2: You get okay, So here, okay, so here's this you
Speaker 2: why why is this bad?
Speaker 5: So let me get to that. So my issue was
Speaker 5: that because of that, like I didn't realize like how
Speaker 5: much I was putting myself into this situation. More like
Speaker 5: me and this person, were like, oh, we're good friends,
Speaker 5: and we kind of wanted to keep it that way.
Speaker 5: But like for me, my nostalgia of just knowing this
Speaker 5: person for all this years kind of came into the idea, Hey,
Speaker 5: I'm in love with you, but I never told her
Speaker 5: about it, and that was the problem.
Speaker 2: So what's your name again, James? James? So you were okay?
Speaker 2: And how old are you now?
Speaker 5: I'm twenty six? Guy from twenty six?
Speaker 2: Twenty six? Okay? And so you met you met a
Speaker 2: lady in eighth grade that you were in love with,
Speaker 2: and then you meet up with her years later as
Speaker 2: a young adult, and when you meet her again, you're
Speaker 2: you're still the feelings, the passion that you had at
Speaker 2: that age bubbles back up again. Am I correct?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And you design and is this this? And you decline
Speaker 2: to tell her that you have these feelings for her.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And it gets more complicated than that, Actually, how.
Speaker 2: So how does it get more complicated? Because a lot
Speaker 2: of the times things that apparently because I'll tell you something, James,
Speaker 2: I'll tell you something. A lot of times things that
Speaker 2: you think are complicated are kind of not. But what
Speaker 2: the fuck do I know? Tell me why I gets
Speaker 2: more component.
Speaker 5: So basically, between the time of like eighth grade to
Speaker 5: like twenty twenty, me and her sister actually became really
Speaker 5: good friends and so like, even though me and the
Speaker 5: main person weren't I'm talking as much, me and her
Speaker 5: sister were becoming really good close friends. And that became
Speaker 5: complicated because at some point the main friend was jealous
Speaker 5: of our friendship and assuming things will happen between us.
Speaker 5: I said, no, I don't really see her that same way,
Speaker 5: and I didn't really want to enforce any like kind
Speaker 5: of relationship kind of stuff like that. So for me,
Speaker 5: it was like, I don't want to focus on that,
Speaker 5: like I'm cold just being friends. But then in twenty twenty,
Speaker 5: when we all met up together, as out of all
Speaker 5: these years, I didn't realize her sister was also in
Speaker 5: love with me. Okay, so it was a weird like
Speaker 5: triangle here without me having to really get involved with
Speaker 5: that triangle as much, because even I told her sister, Hey,
Speaker 5: I'm in love with you, it was like my main friend,
Speaker 5: you know, and I haven't.
Speaker 2: Very funny to me. It's very funny to me that
Speaker 2: this girl you met in middle school you are still
Speaker 2: now as a man in his mid twenties, courting her
Speaker 2: as you would a middle schooler.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so yes and no. So to put it lightly, like,
Speaker 5: as time progressed in twenty twenty, I was dealing with
Speaker 5: my own emotion and stuff. I had a stocker at
Speaker 5: the time, so like I was getting over that. And
Speaker 5: when me and this person became friends again and like
Speaker 5: re established our friendship, what ended up happening was that
Speaker 5: we got really close. But the only issue was that
Speaker 5: she was dating other people freely on a non monogamous way,
Speaker 5: and so I was like, okay, you know, and for me,
Speaker 5: I was just like, I don't want to intervene with that,
Speaker 5: because I shouldn't really intervene with someone else's happiness like that, okay,
Speaker 5: And I was more like a martyr of myself. I
Speaker 5: was saying, hey, well, I'd rather keep it quiet and
Speaker 5: just not ruin our friendship even though I am in
Speaker 5: love with you. But that did cause its own.
Speaker 2: So you did tell her you were and so you
Speaker 2: did tell her you were in love with her.
Speaker 5: No, what ended up happening was that as time progressed,
Speaker 5: we got really close and we did have like one
Speaker 5: or two like flings, but the minute we.
Speaker 2: Wait, so you so you did you guys fucked up?
Speaker 5: Yeah, But it wasn't like we want It wasn't like
Speaker 5: a like, oh, let's do this. It was like a
Speaker 5: heat of the moment. We're just like we're hanging out
Speaker 5: and you know, you know, let's just like mess around.
Speaker 5: But that wasn't more like for me when I did that,
Speaker 5: I felt like, oh, my nostalgia fils just fucking left.
Speaker 5: That whole thing just fucking dipped out, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: I see the issue here, and it was like, oh,
Speaker 5: my nostalgia was just like oh, here's my filter and
Speaker 5: felt like oh this is Yeah.
Speaker 2: Look I'm I'm I'm only telling you this, and I
Speaker 2: might be wrong and I might not have any nuance.
Speaker 2: I'm only telling you this, as you know, with the
Speaker 2: information you've provided me as a completely outsider perspective who's
Speaker 2: thought about your issue for a good you know, five
Speaker 2: minutes that you've been telling it to me. But why
Speaker 2: is this I still don't understand why this is so complicated.
Speaker 5: So it's complicated because long story short, as we got
Speaker 5: further along, like I said, you know what, let's not
Speaker 5: have sex anymore. I don't want to do this anymore
Speaker 5: I've done, and I just didn't feel comfortable. However, I
Speaker 5: still felt like I was in love with her, but
Speaker 5: that just made more issues towards it along line with
Speaker 5: the whole kind of like her sister was like jealous
Speaker 5: of that.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask
Speaker 2: you a few questions to decomplicate things. Okay, James, does
Speaker 2: this woman live in the same location as you?
Speaker 5: Well, same city, Yeah.
Speaker 2: That would be the same location. Yes, Okay, is she?
Speaker 2: Is she in a relationship.
Speaker 5: As of right now? I don't know?
Speaker 2: Okay, are you in a relationship?
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 2: Do you like her?
Speaker 5: I do, but we're no longer.
Speaker 2: Would you, and would you? Would it make you happy
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with her?
Speaker 5: It would? Honestly?
Speaker 2: Have you told her that?
Speaker 5: I haven't? And it's hard to do so because so.
Speaker 2: Why is it hard to do so?
Speaker 5: So basically, when I cut things off of her, she
Speaker 5: started dating someone and she told the guy that me
Speaker 5: and her had a flings here and then, and he
Speaker 5: became very jussed about that and kind of cut her
Speaker 5: off from hanging out with me or being friends with
Speaker 5: me in general. And so that caused a whole rift
Speaker 5: of our friendship and kind of broke things off between us.
Speaker 5: I haven't talked to her for over a year at
Speaker 5: this point.
Speaker 2: Oh, you haven't talked to her for over a year.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, so your relationship with her has sort of do
Speaker 2: you I do you believe that you are both on
Speaker 2: Do you believe that you are on bad terms with
Speaker 2: this woman?
Speaker 5: I do?
Speaker 2: Do you believe she would be reciprocal to you reaching
Speaker 2: out and attempting to talk to her?
Speaker 5: It's funny because for her birthday, I don't know what
Speaker 5: came over me, but it gave her like a happy
Speaker 5: birthday and like in a bit of an apology for
Speaker 5: how things went off between me and her, okay, And
Speaker 5: she just never replied back, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, all right, So it sounds as though you
Speaker 2: you reached, you know, out, and your reach out was
Speaker 2: was was not reciprocated.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I said, you know what, I think I
Speaker 5: should just move on from that. And I kind of
Speaker 5: just again, like it's not like I'm hung up over it.
Speaker 5: It's more like it's just one of those things that
Speaker 5: comes back to my back of my mind. Okay, and
Speaker 5: kind of bothers me a little bit on how things
Speaker 5: went off with that. Okay, but I was, but it's
Speaker 5: more like, you know what, it's better to move on
Speaker 5: than having to.
Speaker 2: Just like James, you are severe. But I and I
Speaker 2: don't know if I know what I'm talking about here,
Speaker 2: and maybe I don't, but you're severely over complicating this.
Speaker 5: I am sorry.
Speaker 2: So no, I don't. You don't have to apologize. No, no,
Speaker 2: you don't have to apologize. I really do you do?
Speaker 2: Really you don't. Sometimes I think just talking stuff out
Speaker 2: makes you realize you overcomplicated the To me, the point
Speaker 2: is you reached out to this girl, uh uh, you know,
Speaker 2: to try to kind of it sounds to try to
Speaker 2: kind of rekindle a relationship, and she was not reciprocal
Speaker 2: to that. And at that point, you know, you you
Speaker 2: take it, You take it, and you you move on.
Speaker 2: You know, it's easy, so much easier said than done.
Speaker 2: Dear lord, Yeah, of course, so much easier second done.
Speaker 2: I don't want to pretend like it's that easy. It's
Speaker 2: fucking not. It's not at all. And you know what
Speaker 2: I'm I'm I've been being a dick to you this
Speaker 2: whole call it's things are do get complicated things, hold on,
Speaker 2: hold on, because things do here. And I'm saying this
Speaker 2: because like I you know, things do get complicated, right,
Speaker 2: but they all they also kind of aren't when you
Speaker 2: zoom out, you know, yeah, of course, so you know, anyway,
Speaker 2: what are you doing now? Are you? Are you tindering?
Speaker 2: Are you what are you doing? Are you going out
Speaker 2: on the town?
Speaker 1: Ah?
Speaker 5: Well right now I'm trying to like go out there
Speaker 5: more and like kind of date around. But like I'm
Speaker 5: kind of also like, hey, I'm cool with just being single.
Speaker 5: Well wonderfully, I'm just cool just being thankful. Yeah, because
Speaker 5: it's like, after all this shit I went through with
Speaker 5: all that, I was like, I'm kind of cool being single,
Speaker 5: but you know, the back of your mind just like
Speaker 5: eat sat to you at what you did or what
Speaker 5: you went through, and it's like, fuck, I kind of
Speaker 5: want to move on from that, but it still kind
Speaker 5: of comes back and hits you a little bit.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, now we're just see now this isn't complicated
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 5: This is just.
Speaker 2: The question of how do you move how do you
Speaker 2: get over someone?
Speaker 5: Which well is normally you always ask the people who
Speaker 5: out on the phone. They have therapy, and I had
Speaker 5: taken therapy over it, and at some point me it
Speaker 5: might think. Well, she was like, well, it's better to
Speaker 5: just move on from it, and I have, And honestly
Speaker 5: it's been again since like I texted her a while ago,
Speaker 5: like I got a year ago. I just kind of
Speaker 5: moved on from it a little more. But it's still again.
Speaker 5: Little things will come up and I'm like, oh, well
Speaker 5: I kind of missed that person, but also like, well,
Speaker 5: it's better to be moved on than having to like
Speaker 5: had the nostalgia of this friendship in general. Kind of
Speaker 5: stay with you.
Speaker 2: Life's fucking crazy, James, Life fucking crazy, And ideally everything
Speaker 2: would work out right and you'd be like one of
Speaker 2: those uh, you know couples on the Instagram who you know,
Speaker 2: they found each other and they got married and everything
Speaker 2: was beautiful. Right. That's sick, That's what that would be. Sick.
Speaker 2: But life's fucking crazy.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you. It really is,
Speaker 2: it really is.
Speaker 5: It's funny question.
Speaker 2: You can ask me a question.
Speaker 5: I know this is a little personal, but go ahead.
Speaker 5: Have you ever like fully fell in love? Oh? Man,
Speaker 5: you could say no, you say whatever. Dude, that's fine,
Speaker 5: it's cool, man.
Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about it. I I you know,
Speaker 2: here's the thing. I was like, I like to be
Speaker 2: I really do. I like to be open been about
Speaker 2: uh my like life and stuff. But I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't like doing it if in ways that like involve
Speaker 2: other people. So I'm not going to answer that question.
Speaker 5: Of course. Yeah, it's fine. No, it's cool, dude, it's fine.
Speaker 5: I don't want to push your buttons on that when
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. But life's fucking life's fucking
Speaker 2: crazy and some things, you know, So it'd be great
Speaker 2: if everything worked out amazingly forever all the time. And
Speaker 2: I think when it doesn't, you have this like idea
Speaker 2: that for everyone else's working out amazingly beautiful forever all
Speaker 2: the time, and for you it's not. But that's not true.
Speaker 2: So I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I wish
Speaker 2: I had anything better to tell you than keep on
Speaker 2: keeping on, But that's really the sauce.
Speaker 5: M No. Of course, one last question for you, guy.
Speaker 5: I had this in mind for a while about if
Speaker 5: you can time travel, where will you go too?
Speaker 2: If I could time travel? Yeah, i'd stay right the fuck. Actually,
Speaker 2: i'd probably actually what, I would probably just use it
Speaker 2: to make money. I would just go into the future
Speaker 2: and like see how much bitcoin's worth or whatever and
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 5: What do you even be like worth anything?
Speaker 2: By then?
Speaker 5: I feel like crypto will like die off by then.
Speaker 2: Well, that's why I would go in there. I would
Speaker 2: figure out I would use I would go into you
Speaker 2: know how people did go into the future, like predict
Speaker 2: the lottery numbers and stuff. I would do something like that.
Speaker 2: I don't care about, Like, I don't want to know.
Speaker 2: I don't want to I don't want to know stuff
Speaker 2: about the future, you know, other than that. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I don't want to go back in time because what
Speaker 2: am I gonna do there, you know, except fuck everything
Speaker 2: up by killing a butterfly or an ant.
Speaker 5: I mean, they're not wrong. I would say, like as
Speaker 5: hard as to think about going in the future, about
Speaker 5: fucking things up too, but also the past as well.
Speaker 2: Well. James, it's awesome. Take solace in this. No matter
Speaker 2: what happens to you and your love life, you can
Speaker 2: always sit in a dark room and jack off. That's
Speaker 2: something that nobody will ever be able to take away
Speaker 2: from you, and I hope he takes solace.
Speaker 5: On that they're not wrong. Man, I'll do one for you, bro,
Speaker 5: I got.
Speaker 2: It, don't I mean you can do I was gonna say,
Speaker 2: don't do one for me, but if you really want,
Speaker 2: if you, I mean, I can't stop. I cannot legally
Speaker 2: stop you from thinking about me, uh while you jerk off.
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't want that power because your thoughts are
Speaker 2: a sacred place that no person or government or entity
Speaker 2: should you know, be able to interfere with. So you
Speaker 2: know it is your god given rights to think about
Speaker 2: whatever and whoever when you jack off. So go do that, James,
Speaker 2: God bless you, and I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 5: No problem, Jack, I have a good one.
Speaker 2: Take care. He said he's gonna do it for me.
Speaker 2: Just he just comes and he's like for the gcko.
Speaker 5: There, repeat get goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 5: calls every night.
Speaker 1: The repeat cat goes doing his eye.
Speaker 2: Who's teaching you to.
Speaker 5: A house to live your life?
Speaker 2: But he's not really an expert.