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Speaker 1: Welcome to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's Journey. I'm Mark,

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Speaker 1: I'm Greg, I'm Brendan, and we are a team of

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Speaker 1: Hollywood screenwriters who meet every week to read from an

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Speaker 1: original screenplay that one of us has written. We give

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Speaker 1: notes and rank the scripts, and of course, at the

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Speaker 1: end of the season, we were going to pitch the

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Speaker 1: best script to the now deceased Dutch Huxley. But luckily

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Speaker 1: his son Duck is still alive as far as we know,

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Speaker 1: so hopefully we will be pitching it to him. We

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Speaker 1: had a pretty exciting, tumultuous, crazy week, so let's jump

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Speaker 1: right into new business. What the fuck? Greg? Hey, what

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Speaker 1: the holy fuck?

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Speaker 2: We were all supposed to go to Joshua Tree smooth

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Speaker 2: things over with Duck, together as a group, and Duck

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Speaker 2: and Greg no show. What the fuck happened?

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Speaker 1: He didn't show up? Is what happened?

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Speaker 3: Well, I was in Joshua Tree with Duck. I just

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Speaker 3: didn't connect with you, guys.

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Speaker 1: What the hell? That was the point? You owe us money?

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Speaker 1: You shall pay?

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Speaker 2: Where were you? What happened with Duck? And what the fuck?

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Speaker 3: You know what? Guys? Before I answer that, let me

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Speaker 3: ask you this, did you have a good time.

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Speaker 2: An amazing game.

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Speaker 1: It's a beautiful national park, absolutely unbelievable. Desert is so peaceful.

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Speaker 1: Being in Mars, I've never seen so many stars.

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Speaker 2: To be there with Mark was fantastic.

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Speaker 1: We got so many little antlers.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, just loaded with him. I got an awesome

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Speaker 2: T shirt that cost eighty bucks. Unfortunately I ripped it

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Speaker 2: in the damn laundry.

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Speaker 1: This it's a shame. That looks so good.

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Speaker 2: It looked awesome on me.

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Speaker 1: We had a classic American fare at Pappy and Harriet's.

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Speaker 2: The Rolling Stones showed up and did a set. I

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Speaker 2: got to do my Micjagger impersonation for Mick Jagger and

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Speaker 2: he said, well are you going?

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Speaker 1: He loved it. He wouldn't let us take a selfie,

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Speaker 1: but otherwise it was great.

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Speaker 3: Well it sounds great, guys, I don't know what you're

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Speaker 3: freaking out about.

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Speaker 2: Unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: We had to uber both ways. You were supposed to

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Speaker 1: drive us.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. This guy's a goddamned delight

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Speaker 2: to hang out with. He knows things about wines. He

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Speaker 2: knows names of wines.

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Speaker 3: Mark, Yes, yes, and what it.

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Speaker 2: Tastes good with. I had a meal with a wine

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Speaker 2: that he recommended in my mouth exploded.

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Speaker 3: Bring some of that expertise back to here, because the

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Speaker 3: wine around this apartment is awful.

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Speaker 1: I've had enough, man, I have had enough where we

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Speaker 1: should pay for our uber both ways.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna pay for your uber dip.

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Speaker 2: Into the tidy sum my man.

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Speaker 3: I don't believe in.

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Speaker 1: Don't you have stock and uber? No?

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Speaker 3: I have stock and men in a van?

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Speaker 2: What the fuck is man in a van?

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Speaker 3: Men with fans who pick you up and take you

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Speaker 3: where you need to go. I think it's self explanatory.

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Speaker 3: It's all in the title. Oh actually, right now, it's

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Speaker 3: just one man and one van.

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Speaker 1: Tell what happened.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, guys, I did not connect with you. Sometimes, you know,

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Speaker 3: you have to you have to play the vibes, and

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Speaker 3: the vibes weren't right. We went to Duck's house out

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Speaker 3: in the desert, his beautiful mirrored Joshua Tree retreat, and

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Speaker 3: we're cool.

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Speaker 1: Now, why didn't you invite us? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well it's hard to find because it's reflective.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if we were with you there, we could

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Speaker 2: have taken the journey together.

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Speaker 3: Well, they're also wasn't enough room in my slingshot two

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Speaker 3: seats one product one for me.

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Speaker 1: In case you missed it, Greg is leasing a slingshot

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Speaker 1: which looks like a Batman car.

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Speaker 3: It looks better than a Batman car.

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Speaker 1: It really does well. What happened? What happened?

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Speaker 3: Look, guys, Duck and I had a lot of things

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Speaker 3: to work out. We took a bunch of drugs, We

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Speaker 3: built a fire, and then we had a ceremony. We

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Speaker 3: had a shamanic ceremony, and a lot of stuff comes

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Speaker 3: up in those.

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Speaker 1: What came up.

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Speaker 3: What came up for him was that I was treating

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Speaker 3: him like a steps on and he doesn't need that

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Speaker 3: right now.

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Speaker 1: How are you treating him like a step So?

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Speaker 3: I tossle his hair. I always ask him to play catch,

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Speaker 3: I go to his baseball games. I buy him ice cream.

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Speaker 1: That's a grown man, yeah, Gregg and older than you. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I told him if he masturbated too much, he'd go blind,

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Speaker 3: and if he didn't, he'd go completely animal crackers like

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Speaker 3: markedad that one time.

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Speaker 2: Here's a good little role for everybody about masturbation. There's

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Speaker 2: a rule about watching her hair. You shouldn't watch her

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Speaker 2: every day. That's something I learned as mike hair started

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Speaker 2: falling out, so go every other day. Here's a nice

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Speaker 2: little rhyme for you. If your hair is so nope, nope, nope.

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Speaker 2: If your hair is dry, let it fly.

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Speaker 3: This just turned into a completely different podcast anyway, guys.

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Speaker 3: The headline is he didn't like that. I could see

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Speaker 3: what and I can see why he didn't want that.

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Speaker 3: Right now, his dad just died and I'm with his mom,

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Speaker 3: and so I agreed that I would stop treating him

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Speaker 3: like a steps on and start treating him like my

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Speaker 3: best friend again. Okay, And he agreed to give us

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Speaker 3: a first look deal.

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Speaker 1: Wo.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I got us a first look Wow, first first

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Speaker 3: look deal.

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Speaker 1: Deal do we get paid for that? What is? What's

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Speaker 1: the first.

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Speaker 3: Going to be the first one to look at anything

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Speaker 3: we bring to him? Guys? And he's gonna buy it?

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Speaker 1: Wasn't he already gonna look at Well, he.

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Speaker 3: Was gonna be, but not officially not he not first.

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Speaker 3: He's first in line and he's first to buy or

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Speaker 3: the listener, the listeners first. When someone has the first.

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Speaker 2: First look at a script script and we don't film it,

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Speaker 2: definitely he reads it.

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Speaker 1: He reads the script and he doesn't see the movie.

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Speaker 3: Basically, he wants to be the guy that looks through

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Speaker 3: the first thing that comes through the door and from Oh,

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Speaker 3: and we get money, get that look.

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Speaker 1: Look we get he gets to look at it, He

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Speaker 1: gets to look at what happens if someone else looks

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Speaker 1: at it before he looks at it.

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Speaker 3: Oh, then that's not good.

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Speaker 2: So we are not allowed to like pass this to

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Speaker 2: friend Steve nodit or and.

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Speaker 1: They have to sign something.

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Speaker 3: You know. I asked him that, but at that point

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Speaker 3: he was crouching on top of a rock and saying,

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Speaker 3: if he screamed the right tone, he could be one

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Speaker 3: with God.

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Speaker 2: I believe it out there. I really believe God is anywhere.

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Speaker 2: He's in Joshua Tree.

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Speaker 3: Believe me, guys, this is better than a second look deal.

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Speaker 2: What is a second look deal?

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Speaker 3: That's where you sign a deal where the studio says,

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Speaker 3: if you can get any other studio to look at

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Speaker 3: this and pass, then we'll take a look at it.

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Speaker 3: So the studio is basically saying, we wouldn't give you

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Speaker 3: one foot out the door.

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Speaker 2: So it's an open door.

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Speaker 1: One out the door.

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Speaker 3: It's more like a closed door, but you're welcome to

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Speaker 3: knock on it.

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Speaker 1: If you've already gone in the door. They want you

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Speaker 1: out of the door before they let you knock on

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Speaker 1: their door.

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Speaker 3: Look, what Duck is saying is closed door.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: He said, it is a closed door. You have to

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Speaker 1: knock on it, which is and if.

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Speaker 3: You kind of have to knock on it, and you

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Speaker 3: can hear him brustling around inside.

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Speaker 1: They're in there though, Yeah, in there.

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Speaker 3: They sometimes are pretending not to be in there.

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Speaker 1: Are you allowed to open it if it's not locked?

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Speaker 3: And that's always kind of a question depends on what studio.

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Speaker 2: What can you pop your head in.

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Speaker 3: If you pop your head in, you might not like

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Speaker 3: what you see. That's so better to knock.

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Speaker 1: But that's not our deal.

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Speaker 2: That's a second looking everyone in there.

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Speaker 3: So Douck is saying, you get me the script. I'll

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Speaker 3: look at it and I'll buy it.

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Speaker 1: I'll buy it.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't know actually if he'll buy it.

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Speaker 1: Just to reset the initial point of this podcast was

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Speaker 1: to get a script to Dutch, who's now dead. But

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Speaker 1: now we're in bed with his son Duck as we

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Speaker 1: are Greg used to be in bed with his mom

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Speaker 1: still him and that's fine because we're all in bed

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Speaker 1: with Doc and that's great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, is it his comfy under the sheets.

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Speaker 1: That sure is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean you should feel those sheets. They're unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: They're two thousand thread count.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well I'm pumped, So let's get into this week's script,

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Speaker 1: which is Brendan's Hey, why don't you set it up

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Speaker 1: for us?

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Speaker 2: Well, I am dipping a toe and a little something

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Speaker 2: called horror excellent. Tell Yeah, So I wrote this a

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Speaker 2: couple of weeks ago. I came up with this idea

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Speaker 2: on my Uber ride home. It was that day we

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Speaker 2: all went out to lunch. You guys remember that we

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Speaker 2: decided to go get something healthy for lunch.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I bought that teeseburger and I asked them to put

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Speaker 2: it on my salad. Mm no, do you don't remember that?

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Speaker 1: I think?

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Speaker 2: So I went to Burger Mystery.

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Speaker 3: Oh I guess I kind of.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's the one where you get a mystery Burger. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: They spin this giant wheel and whatever it lands on,

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Speaker 2: you got to get that. I ended up with a

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Speaker 2: triple cheese bacon barbecue.

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Speaker 3: Sauce, and all the waiters are famous TV detectives.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, that style m for Burger. I

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Speaker 2: love that place too. Every time I go there. I

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Speaker 2: get Colombo though, and he actually is a pretty good detective.

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Speaker 2: You know, he's always like, oh I noticed it stumbled

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Speaker 2: when he asked for the mixed greens. You really want

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Speaker 2: loaded bacon fries, don't you. He's always right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's actually a really good detective. I keep telling him

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Speaker 2: to get the hell out of there. He's a better

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Speaker 2: detective than a waiter never refills my iced tea a

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Speaker 2: second time.

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Speaker 1: I always get McNulty from the wire.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's always hitting on whoever i'm with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's always like, hey, hey, we got to get

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Speaker 3: this guy some ketchup for these fries.

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Speaker 2: Snot Yeah, it's like a British accent trying to.

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Speaker 3: There's dead people in the shipping contato. Okay, it only

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Speaker 3: sounded like he needed an affronsh McNaughty.

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Speaker 1: Mcnaughte.

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Speaker 2: Where did we go Trey Ho's tacos?

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Speaker 3: No? We went to Richard Jenkin salad bags?

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Speaker 1: Was that where we went? Why are celebrities making restaurants?

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Speaker 3: Are those guys celebrities?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: He's great.

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Speaker 1: Richard Jenks Jenkins is great.

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Speaker 2: Every time I see that guy, I forget he makes movies.

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Speaker 2: I always think he's a state senator.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well he's in everything. He's in a Cohen Brothers

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Speaker 3: movie for a couple minutes.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, okay, and he was in Six Feet

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Speaker 1: Under for a couple of minutes. Oh yeah, he was.

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Speaker 3: He was in Shape of Water for a couple of minutes.

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Speaker 1: He was in Burn After Reading for a couple of minutes.

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Speaker 3: He was in the Visitor. It seemed like a couple

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Speaker 3: of minutes, but it was actually the whole movie.

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Speaker 1: He was the dad and stepbrothers for a couple of minutes.

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Speaker 2: That guy. Yeah right, he's not a senator.

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Speaker 3: No, he played a senator in Kong Skull Island, I

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Speaker 3: think for a couple of minutes.

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Speaker 2: That's right, Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

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Speaker 1: So let's set up this horror movie.

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Speaker 2: Okay, why don't we go right off the top. I

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Speaker 2: think we're just gonna get ourselves into the world. This

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Speaker 2: is a little movie called Fat Pig, and it's about

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Speaker 2: a bullied teenager named Gordon Schlumpley and this classic R

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Speaker 2: movie trope small town and his family is a bit

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Speaker 2: odd and has maybe some mysterious powers. Oh and then

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Speaker 2: the town is shook to its core when a series

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Speaker 2: of grizzly murders start to happen. Excellent, So I like

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Speaker 2: to take you guys right into the top. Scene one meat.

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Speaker 2: Gordon Schlumpley, an unpopular teenager.

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Speaker 1: Okay, great, that's what it says here.

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Speaker 2: All right, Mark, would you mind doing stage or extra

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Speaker 2: putting those golden pipes of that?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 2: Very nice? And Greg, put your west golden pipes to

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Speaker 2: the parts I highlighted there for you.

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Speaker 3: Brass pipe song.

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Speaker 1: Rusty Brown. All right here we in copper.

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Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: Fat pig. Exterior, dilapidated house night. Gordon schlumpy an unpopular, overweighteen,

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Speaker 1: opens a rusty old gate and sadly shuffles up the

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Speaker 1: walkway to the house. His t shirt is torn. He

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Speaker 1: looks dirty and beat up. He clumps up the rotting

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Speaker 1: wood steps of his house, opens the door and walks in.

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Speaker 1: Interior continuous Gordon throws his bag down and starts to

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Speaker 1: head up the staircase. He pauses, tears fill his eyes.

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Speaker 1: We zoom in tight to his eyes, so we all

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Speaker 1: know we're flashing back in time. Exterior open field. Today

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Speaker 1: we see Gordon surrounded by bullies, Marv and Craig toss

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Speaker 1: poor Gordon's backpack back and forth as three beautiful girls Amanda,

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Speaker 1: Doris and Sarah cackle shoelessly twirling in the grass. Craig says, can.

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Speaker 3: You believe he actually has books in this thing? Marv

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Speaker 3: I thought this was his feedbag, stufful of doughnuts.

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Speaker 1: Don't cry, GORDA, We're just making sure you get some exercise, bud.

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Speaker 1: As Gordon lunges for the bag, Marv side steps him

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Speaker 1: and trips him. The portly doof plops into a pile

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Speaker 1: of mud, face first. Craig takes the book bag and

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Speaker 1: unloads the contents onto Gordon's head. Amanda ties back her

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Speaker 1: long blonde hair as she.

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Speaker 3: Laughs down in the mud where a pig belongs.

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Speaker 1: The bullies laugh and walk off their feet. Filthy we

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Speaker 1: zoom in on the eyes of Gordon of past and

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Speaker 1: returned to interior house. Gordon wipes tears away and old

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Speaker 1: steps groan as the big sad sack glumps all the

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Speaker 1: way up to the top of the winding stairs to

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Speaker 1: a solitary door. All the way at the top, the

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Speaker 1: door is adorned with strange cymbals, small paintings of fire

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Speaker 1: and pigs. Gordon opens the door and enters interior Grammy's room.

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Speaker 1: Grammy sits in an old rocking chair, staring deep into

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Speaker 1: a fireplace. The room is adorned with weird things like

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Speaker 1: skulls and shrunken heads and weird shit. The old Crone's

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Speaker 1: eyes snap to attention as Gordon's shadow eclipses over her.

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Speaker 2: Gordon, my sweet boy, that fayat hats told me much

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Speaker 2: of your day, Come get your sweet.

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Speaker 1: The old gal's hand pulls a dark, mysterious cookie from

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Speaker 1: a jar that looks like a cauldron. The rotund boy

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Speaker 1: quickly shuffles over and begins to devour the sweet from

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Speaker 1: her hand. As we cut to interior Amanda's kitchen. Night

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Speaker 1: close on Amanda's long, elegant feet as they spin the

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Speaker 1: girl around. She dances around her kitchen and nothing but

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Speaker 1: a T shirt and her underwear, singing into a spoon

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Speaker 1: she's using to make a yogurt parfe.

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Speaker 3: Shake it off, Shake it Off.

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Speaker 1: A loud bang on the back door rattles her the fuck.

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Speaker 1: She pads over to the back door and looks out nothing.

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Speaker 1: She shrugs and slaps her elegant floppers back over to

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Speaker 1: the counter that is covered in granola, avocados and yogurt

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Speaker 1: and shit blam. The door rattles again with a violent rumble.

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Speaker 3: Craig marv. If you chere fucking with me, I'll kill

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Speaker 3: you corroll.

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Speaker 1: The bottom of the door explodes as a huge pig

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Speaker 1: runs into the kitchen ah. The pig knocks the girl

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Speaker 1: to the ground. It squeals a high pitched nightmare sound

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Speaker 1: and snapped into her left foot. Amanda screams bloody murder.

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Speaker 1: Blood pours from her footless limb. She tries to crawl away,

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Speaker 1: but is pulled back as the swine bites into her

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Speaker 1: right foot. The hungry slopper takes huge chomps and munches

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Speaker 1: her leg down hole. Amanda's dreams turned to gurgles as

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Speaker 1: blood pours from her mouth, her eyes cross and go lifeless.

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Speaker 1: We hear the ravenous sounds of the pig feasting as

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Speaker 1: we fade to black exterior backyard night. We slowly fade

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Speaker 1: up and through the window we see the kitchen as trashed. Hell,

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Speaker 1: food and blood cover the floor and walls as police

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Speaker 1: walk about surveying the grizzly crime scene. Meanwhile, in the

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Speaker 1: backyard bushes, we hear grunting the camera lands on the

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Speaker 1: killer pig squatting to defecate. He finishes and quickly scurries away.

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Speaker 1: The camera stays on the pile of his excrement. The

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Speaker 1: dukie seems to hum an evil tone. A blonde hair

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Speaker 1: slowly grows out of it, and scene wading. Holy shit, man.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a foot? Finish? But there's so much

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Speaker 3: fools and that's slopping.

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Speaker 2: I'm just explaining what the camera seeing.

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Speaker 1: So they're always on the feet. Why the feet? Is

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Speaker 1: it like a pig's eye of you or is it?

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Speaker 3: Do you want to Yeah, it's just like it's talking

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Speaker 3: about her feet more than serumst tag.

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Speaker 1: If you have a foot fetish, Hey, no kink shaming.

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Speaker 1: If that's your thing to just that's your thing. Never stopped?

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Speaker 3: Do you what?

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Speaker 1: What are we? Never stop? What? Where are you going?

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Speaker 3: Where's your problem? Dude? What do you not?

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Speaker 1: What? What do you mean?

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Speaker 3: Not?

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Speaker 1: Where are you going? What's not? Where?

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Speaker 3: Bring your elegant flappers back across the floor and talk

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Speaker 3: to us. Man, don't where's he going? I don't know

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Speaker 3: the fuck? What is wrong?

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Speaker 1: He's acting like? What is he doing?

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Speaker 3: Dude? You think this is I'll be.

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Speaker 1: Honest, he's been weird all wheat.

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Speaker 3: He's been really, really strange.

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Speaker 1: He's not returning my calls anytime I talk to him.

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Speaker 3: He says, nap, I never call him, but I'm sure

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Speaker 3: if I did, he wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: Now he's showing up weird with a script with two

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Speaker 1: assholes named Marvin Craig.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I just noticed that. To be honest,

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Speaker 3: I never really paid much attention to his character details.

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Speaker 3: Just the foot stuff stuck out to me.

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Speaker 1: Here's a theory. What do you think he's mad? We

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Speaker 1: laughed at his cheeseburger salad I do last week?

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Speaker 3: Well, because he brought a burger into Richard Jenkins salad bags.

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Speaker 3: You can't get burgers there, and he tore it up

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Speaker 3: and put it into.

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Speaker 1: The bread and French fries.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he's back back again.

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Speaker 3: Hey, welcome back man.

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Speaker 2: Boom boom boom Brodley Chipper. Everything just had to go

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom is cleansed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems so so mad is everything? Okay? Oh great?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm great. You guys want to keep reading this bad.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, let's do it. Yeah, set up the next scene.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I want to take you a couple of

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Speaker 2: scenes down here. Flip a couple of pages here. This

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Speaker 2: is the scene. Everyone in town is shocked about Amanda's

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Speaker 2: terrible murder when shockingly, she shows back up a lot

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Speaker 2: of shocks. She is, you, guys never stopped well, hey man.

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Speaker 3: This is the podcast. Just having fun.

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Speaker 1: We're just having fun. What's not Just come sit back down, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm just messing around.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he's mec I'm back, guys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, I just said, why'd you just go over

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Speaker 3: and stand in the corner looking at the wall and

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Speaker 3: then turned around and came back.

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00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 2: Caf got tight, wanted to stretch it out.

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Speaker 1: Okay, everything's fine. We're gonna take your face value. Everything's fine.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So everyone thinks Amanda's dead, and then she returns

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Speaker 2: to school alive. Oh and guess what. She's having lunch

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Speaker 2: with Gordon, and she's laughing at everything Gordon says, and

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Speaker 2: she has this weird, creepy smile every time she talks

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Speaker 2: to her friends. Suddenly she thinks Gordon is amazing. Her

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Speaker 2: friends Sarah and Doris think this is really weird. So

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Speaker 2: in this scene, Amanda's friends Doris and Sarah catch Gordon

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Speaker 2: and Amanda in the hallway and they confront them.

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Speaker 1: Oh fun, all right, cool interior school hallway. Later, Sarah

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Speaker 1: and Doris walk down a hallway and spot Amanda walking

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Speaker 1: with Gordon. Hey, this thought you were murdered. Get over here,

403
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 1: we need to talk. Amanda and Gordon look scared and

404
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Speaker 1: take off around a corner.

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Speaker 2: Oh you bet, run, you little piggies.

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Speaker 1: Sarah and Doris chase after them. They whip around the

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Speaker 1: corner and two giant pigs stand, grunting an evil grunt.

408
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 1: The pigs charge the girls, and now Doris and Sarah

409
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,159
Speaker 1: turn and run. Sarah runs straight down the hall to

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Speaker 1: the bathroom, losing Doris. In a panic, she hides in

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Speaker 1: the last toilet stall in a row of four. She

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Speaker 1: closes the door and squats on the toilet, her sandaled

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Speaker 1: feet just small enough to hold her steady on the

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Speaker 1: toilet seat. She hears the bathroom door slowly open and

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00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 1: tries to stifle her nervous breath. All is quiet, and

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Speaker 1: then wham the door to the first stall is kicked in.

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Speaker 1: Sarah whippers. Wham, the door to the second stall is

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Speaker 1: kicked in. Tears streamed down Sarah's face. Wham, the door

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Speaker 1: to the third stall is kicked in one left. Sarah

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Speaker 1: is terrified. Whow Sarah screams, and his face to face

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Speaker 1: with Doris.

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Speaker 2: Shit, girl, there you are where the psycho pigs? Did

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Speaker 2: we lose him?

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00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 1: Sarah opens her mouth to speak, but before she can

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Speaker 1: get a word out, a pig flies up out of

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Speaker 1: the toilet like jaws and bites her into Blood sprays

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00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 1: out of both ends of her chomped halves. Sarah's torso

428
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 1: flies forward and knocks Doris backwards. She falls and cracks

429
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Speaker 1: her head so hard on the sink it's lopped off

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00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 1: and flies to the air, landing in a toilet bowl.

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00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 1: Blood sprays from her neck hole like a geyser before

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Speaker 1: her body crumples to the floor. Sarah, just a torso

433
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 1: now screams in terror as the bathroom door flies open.

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00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: The second killer pig charges in. The pig bites her

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Speaker 1: nose and pulls back. Sarah's skin stretches until screlch her

436
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,359
Speaker 1: face is ripped off. Sarah's face is now just exposed

437
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: muscles and tendons, but she's still alive as both pigs

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Speaker 1: set to feasting upon her. End scene.

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Speaker 3: Wonder right heavy to her feet do we did have a.

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Speaker 1: Question?

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00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 2: What the camera sees guys.

442
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's camera first.

443
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 3: How'd the pig get through the toilet?

444
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 2: Who cares?

445
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 3: Right, I'm just this is not.

446
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: Just another one of my stupid ideas.

447
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 1: We're just asking the logic of.

448
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 2: Maybe the pig was thin enough. Okay, all right, maybe

449
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,919
Speaker 2: he ate a healthy lunch. And maybe just because the

450
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 2: words it's a pig doesn't mean it's fat.

451
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 3: I'm saying that movie is called Fat Pig, and I'm

452
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: wondering what the logic of the pigs getting through the pipesays?

453
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 3: That's all?

454
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: Are all the pigs fat? Because you said it was

455
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 1: a second pig?

456
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what, Who fucking cares? Maybe it's all

457
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 2: movie magic? All right? So why are you guys mansplaining.

458
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 1: It to me? Man's plaining. It's not what it means.

459
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: Let me break down man's plaining for you.

460
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 2: Now?

461
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 3: What is this?

462
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 1: What are you doing now? What is the problem? Man?

463
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 4: Oh?

464
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 2: Yes, thanks guys, let's do the next Thanks for what

465
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 2: what is going on? I want all that edited out?

466
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: Thanks guys.

467
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: Thanks?

468
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 2: What do you think you can destructive notes? You're right, man,

469
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 2: maybe I'll look at that pig thing.

470
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've just it's a movie called fat pig, and

471
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 3: I just wanted to know if there was a cool

472
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 3: story beat about the pigs crawling through the pipes or something.

473
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 3: That's it.

474
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of feet. Let's do the next scene.

475
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 2: You want to know what's not horror? Seeing the guy

476
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 2: creep behind the corner before he flies out of the corner. Okay,

477
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: it's all about chocks, right. You don't see Freddy hide

478
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 2: behind a bush before he explodes out of a fucking bush,

479
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 2: because that's not scary.

480
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 3: Who's Freddy is in the script? Kroger? Oh, Freddy Kroger,

481
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 3: the grocer, grocery guy, the owner of the Kroger, the hunt,

482
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 3: I said, Krueger, the haunted grocery store.

483
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 1: That's an idea, Freddy Kroger, Freddy Kroger.

484
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 3: That is an idea, a bit of a parody. Maybe

485
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 3: you could go eat Cheeseburger's the grocery store.

486
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 4: Thanks, guys, up the scene.

487
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 1: Let's just get through it. It's a good script. It's

488
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: a good script.

489
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thanks guys. So I want to take you

490
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 2: later on into the script. Mervin Craig, the two asshole

491
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,239
Speaker 2: bullies show up at Gordon's birthday party, which is at

492
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 2: a big nightclub. When they arrive, everyone is having this

493
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,719
Speaker 2: amazing time. Okay, Gordon's on stage. He is crushing New

494
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 2: York State of Mind by Billy Joel. But then someone

495
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: in the crowd spots Marvin Craig, and they party just

496
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 2: stops dead silence, and everyone turns and stares with this

497
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 2: creepy stare and these creepy smiles, and they start chanting

498
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 2: you don't belong, You don't belong, and they chase after them,

499
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 2: and the boys are running. So this is the scene

500
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 2: where they have escaped the danger, but they start to

501
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 2: realize what is happening to the town.

502
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 3: Okay, great, this takes place present day.

503
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

504
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 3: Oh, he's saying New York state of Mind, Billy Joel

505
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:52,879
Speaker 3: is timeless.

506
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: It could be Jay z right.

507
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 2: You have a problem with Billy Joel.

508
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 3: No, I'm just saying, that's kind a funny thing for

509
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 3: a high school student to sing Billy Joel and be

510
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 3: like celebrated for it.

511
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 2: Sunglasses are just things until Billy Joel wore them.

512
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, man, all right, here we are interior nightclub

513
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: night Marvin Craig finally safe in a back room collapse,

514
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: breathless to the floor. I don't get any of this.

515
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: We were the most popular kids in school. Now, Gordon is.

516
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 3: This has to be something to do with all those pigs. Right,

517
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 3: A bunch of crazy pigs show up buddy crime scenes

518
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 3: with nobody, then everybody is crazy, happy and in love

519
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 3: with Gordon.

520
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, remember what share If Hoppringer was saying

521
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: the other day before his office was covered in blood

522
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: and he suddenly loved Gordon. He said, the Schlumpy family

523
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: is into some weird religious voodoo or some shit. They've

524
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: been outcast in this town for years.

525
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 3: Right, and their house is built on the ashes of

526
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 3: that old Satanic temple that was built on that Native

527
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 3: American burial.

528
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Craig Gordon is magically turning himself into a

529
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: killer pig.

530
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,719
Speaker 3: And he's eating his enemies and shitting the mouth. And

531
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 3: then the shit grows into Gordon loving daffelgangers who can

532
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 3: also turn into pigs.

533
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: All of our friends are shit people, and old Gordon

534
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: Schlumpley is the magic killer pig. What's that?

535
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 4: Chaps?

536
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 1: The boys gasp and turn to see Gordon looming over them.

537
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: Back off, Gordo, you ain't turning us into shit. People

538
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 1: through your magic pig guts pig.

539
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: You don't think, no need to think, big boy, You're

540
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 3: an evil magic pig who eats his enemies then craps friends.

541
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god, guys, No, it's Grammy, Grammy. I thought

542
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 2: it was weird how popular I got. I guess I

543
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 2: just wanted to believe I was cool.

544
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: What are you saying, Gordon, You had nothing to do

545
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: with this.

546
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 2: My grandmother, she's the High Priestess of the Swines of

547
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 2: the Fire Goddess. She must have done all this. Guys,

548
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: I swear I didn't know.

549
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: Gordon cries Marvin Craig's hearts are moved. He knew I

550
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: wasn't popular. Gordon. It's okay, man. This is our fault.

551
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: More than anything, we made your life.

552
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, I guess at the heart of all this,

553
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 3: we were just two insecure jerks who never took the

554
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 3: time to see how awesome you are your knowledge.

555
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 1: Of superhero trivia. You speak Elvi, you sing it sound

556
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 1: just like Billy Joel when you sing.

557
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 3: Hell you invented cheeseburger salad. What it It's delicious and healthy.

558
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 3: I never thought that could be done.

559
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 1: So there it is. Yeah, but so I'm just gonna

560
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: I want to rip the band aid off here. Man,

561
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: did you hear us making fun of you about the

562
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: cheeseburger salad?

563
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: I have no idea, mad as we're talking about.

564
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: You're mad at us for saying that it was a

565
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: goofy idea.

566
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 2: Don't know what you're talking about.

567
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 3: Can we please read the Script's up a triple cheeseburger

568
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 3: and stuck it in a bag of lettuce and said

569
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: it was healthy.

570
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 2: Guys, we are in the middle of a script. Okay, please, Okay,

571
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 2: did dramas how you guys are doing great performances? I

572
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 2: don't want to lose this.

573
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, back into it. We are so sorry, Gordon.

574
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 3: We are massive pieces of shit.

575
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 2: I have every right to hate you guys right now.

576
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 2: But like the great Martin Luther King Junior says, we

577
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who

578
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 2: is devoid of power to forgive is devoid of the

579
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: power to love.

580
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: Marvin Craig are stunned by this gentle giant's capacy city

581
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 1: to forgive, and feel even worse about themselves.

582
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 2: When do you say we team up, boys and go

583
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 2: kill my grandmother?

584
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: Craig and marsh Beam. This guy may actually save the

585
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: whole town.

586
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 3: We just have to get to the bottom of this

587
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 3: cheeseburger salad.

588
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: Can we just clear the air? Yes, I don't, because

589
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: you're acting like it's not a big deal and it's

590
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: clearly upsetting you.

591
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 2: Guys.

592
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 3: How do you know that we were making fun of

593
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 3: the cheeseburger salad for not being healthy?

594
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 2: Would you guys make fun of the cheeseburger's house.

595
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: We were just saying that it's a funny idea that

596
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 3: someone would.

597
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 2: Got everything is about you two.

598
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: Guys, Okay, but Marv and Craig are clearly us is not.

599
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: And I don't even know what you're talking about the

600
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 2: cheeseburger salad.

601
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to You went down the street, you

602
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 3: got a triple cheeseburger with bacon and extra cheese, and

603
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 3: then you came back. You ripped it up and put

604
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 3: it in a salad bag and shook it up.

605
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: Let me say, for the both of us, I'm sorry, Sorry,

606
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: we made fun.

607
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: Apologize for me. Mark.

608
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: Can we read the next scene? How many more are there?

609
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 1: Just that last one?

610
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 2: You know what, I'll take it to the very end

611
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 2: where they confront the grandmother. My head is spinning because

612
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to cut through the script. I have

613
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 2: no idea. You guys are all upset about Okay, So

614
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: here we are there at the house again. They're about

615
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: to take down the evil Grammy okay.

616
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: Exterior dilapidated house. Night the boys approach Gordon's house. Ominous

617
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 1: clouds swirl in the sky. The house is totally dark

618
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 1: except for the flicker of fire in the attic.

619
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 2: She's home. We've got to get to the attic.

620
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 3: Shouldn't be too hard, ah.

621
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be too sure about that. They turned to

622
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 1: see all the people from the party staring wide eyed

623
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 1: and silent at them, large smiles plastered on their faces.

624
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: They open their mouths and speak as one What.

625
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 2: Are you doing with those nasty boys? You belong with us.

626
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: We love you, Grandma. You can't do this. You can't

627
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 2: force people to like me. You have to let them

628
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 2: grow to see that I am something special on my own. Sure,

629
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: the idea of a cheeseburger salad being healthy sounds silly

630
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: at first, but if you give people a second to

631
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,959
Speaker 2: think about it, they'll actually see that it's a very

632
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 2: good idea.

633
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: Marvin Craig nod. Gordon is right. His words hit home.

634
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 2: You dari fi, then you die.

635
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 1: The mass of people begin to snort and grunt Gordon.

636
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: The crowd begins to writhe and groan, their joints snapping

637
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: and bending as they turn into pigs.

638
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 4: Roun.

639
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 1: The three boys take off at a full sprint to

640
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 1: the house. The sound of hooves followed them up the

641
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: steps and through the door. They hit the main staircase

642
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: and race up. The door behind them explodes into a

643
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 1: shower of splinters as a wave of pigs pour into

644
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: the house.

645
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 2: Go get to the attic and kill Grammy. I'll hold

646
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 2: them back.

647
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: Marvin Craig begin weeping.

648
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 3: Gordon, No, we can't lose.

649
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: Gordon smiles a wry smile like Indiana Jones.

650
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 2: Nice yo, I got this.

651
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: Moved by his courage, the weeping boys turn and head

652
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: up the staircase, blubbering. They reach the attic door.

653
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,479
Speaker 3: Here goes Snubby, be brave like Gordon.

654
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: They kick the door and they see the back of

655
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: Grammy's rocking chair, the old woman slowly rocking in front

656
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: of the fire.

657
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 3: Time to die, Grammy.

658
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: The old woman just laughs, a deep, soulless laugh that

659
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: freezes the two bulls in the tracks. I think not,

660
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: Greg and Mick, I think not. The old woman stands

661
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: and turns to face them. They are stunned. Grammy is Gordon?

662
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: Gordon?

663
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: That's right, fuck faces, I heard you make fun of

664
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: me and my cheeseburger salad. You are not better than

665
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 2: me and I am cool.

666
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: Flew of pigs rush up behind Mark and Greg. One

667
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: pig snout goes to Greg's button, bites down in yanks.

668
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: His whole spine and skull are pulled from his backside,

669
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: along with a huge gut of blood and shit.

670
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 3: Come on.

671
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: Mark is knocked to the ground. His pigs pull him

672
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: from every direction. His shoes are ripped off. The pigs

673
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: see his feet and think they're weird and leave them be,

674
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: deciding instead to latch onto his less weird ankles. The

675
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: others grab his wrists. They begin to yank in different directions,

676
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: pulling the fool, who is unimaginative about food apart. He

677
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: screams in agony. His hair is yanked. He looks up

678
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: to see the puller is Gordon.

679
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 2: He's the old boy. Let's not lose our head.

680
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: Gordon pulls his head off as the other pigs rip

681
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: his arms and legs from his body. Gordon holds Mark's

682
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: head high to a mass of squealing pigs and laughs

683
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: a dark and evil laugh as he talks it to

684
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: his hungry piggies. EO we we we are hole and

685
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: so fucking it.

686
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 3: It's just all about the cheeseburger salad marks.

687
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: Fuckheads, that's about you.

688
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: We were not surprised.

689
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 3: We're not surprised you actually called us Gregon Mark in

690
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: the last scene. Wait, just fuck learning.

691
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: Rise, fuckheads, that was about you, we know, maybe.

692
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: Learn to use find replacement shit.

693
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I fucked up.

694
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 3: Uh.

695
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: I wanted you guys to fucking just read that whole

696
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 2: thing in this boom eat it.

697
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: I heard you.

698
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 2: I heard what you said about the cheeseburger salad. You

699
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 2: thought I went to the bus, I forgot my backpack.

700
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 2: I came back to get it, and there you two

701
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 2: were gabbling and gaffing and laughing away like a couple

702
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: of golden girls. Friends don't make fun of friends when

703
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: they're not around.

704
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 3: Friends talk to friends about when they're upset, and don't

705
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 3: write an entire script that takes up an entire episode

706
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 3: to tell us they were mad. About a cheeseburger salad.

707
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: What does gabbling mean? And you had a gaffer gabbling.

708
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: When you're gabbing and also laughing.

709
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 3: We did not have a gaffer.

710
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: There your tape, you're talking talk and then you're laughing

711
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 2: at the same time. It's a bad thing to be

712
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 2: a gabbler.

713
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 1: Okay, so I listen. I'm sorry about the cheeseburger salad.

714
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I made fun of you. I stand behind

715
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: my view that it's not it's not healthy choice.

716
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: It's lettuce, it's tomato, and yes there's ground beef. Yes

717
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 2: there's cheese. Yes there is bacon a cruton, which is

718
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: healthier than just having a normal bun. The special sauce

719
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 2: is just salad dressing. It's the same thing. Is What

720
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 2: I'm trying to say is that cheeseburger salad is a

721
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 2: very good idea. And you're sories mean.

722
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: A lot to me.

723
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 2: Thanks guys.

724
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 1: You want us to vote on this, No, you know.

725
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: What, Truthfully, this wasn't even a fair submission. This was

726
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: a test of friendship, and you guys passed lesson learned.

727
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 2: Don't be gabblers. Huh. We just can't tear each other.

728
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: It's not a man this town.

729
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: But if we're going to come clean, that's not a word.

730
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: Not a word you're you're trying to use it like

731
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: it's an actual.

732
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 3: So is that just a You brought a cheeseburger for

733
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 3: lunch today with just a lot of extra lettuce, and

734
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 3: do you think that's a salad?

735
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:49,239
Speaker 1: All right?

736
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: Okay, don't where are you going?

737
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 2: Man?

738
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 4: Yeah?

739
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a studio apartment. You can't just keep walking

740
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 3: over there.

741
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 1: Fuck it? You know what? This has been fun on

742
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: as always.

743
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 2: I want to read it again. You guys got to

744
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 2: learn their lesson again.

745
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: I want to read it. We're not reading it again,

746
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: not reading this. End of podcast, lights camera action, but

747
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: for writing