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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that can't type for a month

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Speaker 1: because he tried to fist bump the Incredible Hulk at

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Speaker 1: a promo event. Ouch didn't turn out so well for him.

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Speaker 1: That's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories from around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we have a laser. Those other clam gurglers just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first Laser Stories out of England. Fifty two year

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Speaker 1: old Michael Leigh Mallory had given up his favorite hobby

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Speaker 1: for more than a decade, saying he just didn't have

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Speaker 1: the time when his kids were little. Yeah, but now

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Speaker 1: they're teenagers, they don't want to hang out as much.

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Speaker 1: He was going to get back into it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I changed my life for you ungrateful kids.

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Speaker 3: I don't know you, do you? Michael? What are you doing?

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Speaker 1: So he pulled up his tube socks, put on his

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Speaker 1: best cargo shorts and pulled out the old metal detector.

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Speaker 2: Oh, this is the most dad hobby.

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Speaker 3: That's the most dead sentence it's ever been out.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't ready, that's why the kids.

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Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes into his first search, he stumbled on an

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Speaker 1: old gold penny that was buried about ten centimeters down

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Speaker 1: on some farm land.

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Speaker 2: It was so being his son too get everything they do.

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Speaker 3: Look what I found, Like, you get it, dad, that's

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Speaker 3: a paper clip.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be worth silver or something.

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Speaker 1: He had no idea what it was, but thought it

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Speaker 1: looked cool. So he posted a picture of the coin

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Speaker 1: on social media, and that's where it was spotted by

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Speaker 1: some auctioneers in London. It turns out it wasn't just

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Speaker 1: any coin. It was Henry the third gold penny from

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Speaker 1: the year twelve fifty seven.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, cow, all of a sudden, you love

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Speaker 3: dad's hobby.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wouldn't you know it? It was worth almost nine

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: No matter what do I see?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Sun. A few weeks later that was posted for sale. Wow,

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Speaker 1: and the coin sold at auction for eight hundred and

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Speaker 1: seventy two grand.

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Speaker 3: Way to go, Pop.

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Speaker 2: The IS company should have told him, like, look, that's

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Speaker 2: a value. That is not a valuable coin. You should

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Speaker 2: just ship it to us for free will and we'll

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Speaker 2: just get rid of it.

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Speaker 1: Too late for that, Yeah it is, Michael says. He's

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Speaker 1: splitting the money with the homeowner. That's cool, and his

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Speaker 1: half will make sure that both his kids can go

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Speaker 1: to any college they will, exactly taking away those ungrateful

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Speaker 1: little That's why you're not a father yet. That's why

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Speaker 1: this story is out of England. Oh, you can spend

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Speaker 1: your riches on education. Good luck with that. This next

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Speaker 1: laser story is out of Mississippi.

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Speaker 2: That's going to be a big uh story, except this one.

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Speaker 2: They're like, we're going to apple Bee.

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Speaker 1: County Jail got a fax this month that said one

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Speaker 1: of its inmates was up for release. Okay, that's how

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Speaker 1: they normally do this, So the facts itself wasn't weird,

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Speaker 1: but they did notice a few irregular he's with the request.

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Speaker 1: First of all, the word jail was spelled j A

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Speaker 1: L E.

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Speaker 3: Accurate, I mean, but still.

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Speaker 1: The second issue was that the request specifically said, quote

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Speaker 1: when he's released, make sure you give him a lot

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Speaker 1: of money so we can blow off some steam and

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Speaker 1: have fun.

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Speaker 2: Okay, now you still think it's legit. Think I think

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Speaker 2: a lawyer wrote that.

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Speaker 3: That's clause four.

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Speaker 1: So officials called the courthouse that it came from just

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Speaker 1: to make sure it was legit. The people at the

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Speaker 1: courthouse didn't know what they were talking about, so because

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Speaker 1: did some digging, and they realized who did. They figured

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Speaker 1: out that the number of the facts actually came from

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Speaker 1: was the inmate's girlfriend's house.

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Speaker 3: She tried, I'm shocked, didn't make it through. To be honest,

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Speaker 3: she wanted to just send a text, but she didn't know.

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Speaker 1: And after that, officials arrested her and she confessed to

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Speaker 1: sending the fake facts to get her boyfriend out of jail.

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Speaker 1: She's also facing fraud charges. Plus they found drug para

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Speaker 1: from on her too.

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Speaker 3: Who's going to send a fact for her?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And the end, officials said it was a pretty

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Speaker 1: dumb idea to try it because she's also going to

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Speaker 1: wind up serving time. But how crazy is it that

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Speaker 1: jails still use technology this old? Amazing? It's next laser

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Speaker 1: stories Out of the United Kingdom, a fifteen year old

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Speaker 1: boy was in his school locker room getting ready for

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Speaker 1: pe when one of his buddies dared him to empty

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Speaker 1: two cans of deodorant spray straight onto his chest, his.

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Speaker 3: Punging I'm just glad I was never a teenage boy. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: for real, it just sounds so dull.

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Speaker 2: Chocolate body spray, I smell like chocolate ladies or normal?

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Speaker 3: Is strong enough?

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Speaker 2: Found chocolate. I was ready.

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Speaker 1: What did he do? Well, he's fifteen, so of course

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Speaker 1: he did it. Yeah, and after it happened, he said,

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Speaker 1: it just fel cold at first, and then it started

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Speaker 1: to burn.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He was just there waiting for it to finish when

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Speaker 1: the unthinkable happened. His buddy, who was spraying the deodorant,

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Speaker 1: flicked both of his nipples and the nipples just fell off.

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Speaker 2: My god, legend, come to lie.

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Speaker 3: I just grabbed my own boot.

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Speaker 1: Right onto the floor. No, not the sound. So did

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Speaker 1: he gather up his nipples and rushed to the e

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Speaker 1: r Yeah, yeah, don't know the nipples on the floor,

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Speaker 1: checked the lost and found. He just went about his

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Speaker 1: day as if he nothing weird happened.

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Speaker 2: Bro, you look like a kendle. You need to like

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Speaker 2: it is this.

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Speaker 1: At one point, he said, he was sitting in German

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Speaker 1: class and people are like, hey, your shirt is bleeding.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that sounds awful.

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Speaker 3: I did think of one kid from my class that

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Speaker 3: would have been this.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you hop him. Sorry. His teacher stopped

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Speaker 1: the class and send him to the nurse's office, but

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Speaker 1: it was too late to save his nipples.

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Speaker 3: That is so weird.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in defense, like, we don't guys don't really need nipples.

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Speaker 1: That was pretty much his reaction. The fifteen year old

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Speaker 1: was like, Nah, it's fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not going to be breastfeeding anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean they are useless. They're real useless body

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Speaker 3: part on men, but they really are.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer stories out of Inhale the Future, Exhale

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Speaker 1: the past. I'm The New York Times did a story

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Speaker 1: on a metaverse wedding in the US last month. I

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Speaker 1: saw that it was a virtual ceremony with avatars held

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Speaker 1: in a chapel that floated in the sky.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, your weddings about to be next level.

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Speaker 3: And then oh, yeah, sounds kind of boring to me.

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Speaker 1: Now a couple in India is going to do one.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole lot cheaper.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm in a hotel. You

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Speaker 2: don't have to fly.

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Speaker 3: That is, until the wedding industry gets ahold of it.

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Speaker 3: I mean they're just not in the metaverse.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Now we're spending metaverse playing tickets.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: And the couple's inviting two thousand people to their reception.

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Speaker 2: Dang, this is like one of those Facebook invites. Everyone's like, ignore, ignore.

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Speaker 1: They're big Harry Potter fans. So they add a whole

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Speaker 1: Hogwarts style world built just now.

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Speaker 2: I want to go yourself. Amazing.

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Speaker 3: You don't get the cake, you don't get the food.

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Speaker 1: And it's costing them just over two thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: It still cost two thousand dollars, still virtually.

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Speaker 1: One dollar per guest. Damn shipping a buck per guest

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Speaker 1: to help.

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Speaker 3: Them pay for their shut You want to go, you invite.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: And plus, here's something crazy that you can't do with

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Speaker 1: a normal wedding. They say, an avatar of the bride's

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Speaker 1: father is going to be there, even though he died

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Speaker 1: last year. Latest thing ever until the avatar father like

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Speaker 1: stands up in protests when it comes to say I

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Speaker 1: do you know true?

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Speaker 3: I can't control those avatar fathers.

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Speaker 2: He's like, what count?

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Speaker 3: The dad still doesn't know how to get in? Like,

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Speaker 3: am I pushing the right button?

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Speaker 1: So what do others think about it? One person commented saying,

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Speaker 1: if this means I can start attending formal events in

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Speaker 1: my underwear, I think I'm okay with it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm kind about it too, But if I'm being serious?

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Speaker 1: Who even needs underwear?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Because that sound means Laser Stories has come to an

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Speaker 1: end for the day. It's gonna let him finish up there.

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Speaker 1: It means Laser Stories came to an end. Let's do

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Speaker 1: it again at the same time on Friday,