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Speaker 1: Hi Katherine, Hello Chelsea. Excuse me. I took some chocolate

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Speaker 1: mushrooms last night and they were very strong. I actually

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Speaker 1: I took them the other night to my friend gave

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Speaker 1: it to We were going to someone's birthday party and

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Speaker 1: we walk into the party. We get out of the car.

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Speaker 1: I was with Billy, my driver. We get out of

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Speaker 1: the car, walk into the party. I was like four

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Speaker 1: people and somehow I got separated from them, and then

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Speaker 1: the mushrooms completely hit me so hard, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: where am i? And who am I with? I was like, who, who?

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Speaker 1: Who did I come here with? And I'm looking around, going,

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Speaker 1: oh god. And I was like, you're with someone. Just

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Speaker 1: look around for a familiar face. You did not come alone.

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Speaker 1: You are definitely with other people. And then I saw

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Speaker 1: my friend Alison. I'm like, say, isn't you And she's

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Speaker 1: like yeah. I go, oh my god, I just lost you.

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Speaker 1: She goes, we just walked in. How could you lose me?

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Speaker 1: I go, I don't know, but I don't know. I'm

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Speaker 1: fucked up. Let's go sit down. Were you also the

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Speaker 1: only one on mushrooms? Who knows? But somebody? Somebody's mother

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Speaker 1: the birthday boys mother cornered me for about twenty minutes,

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Speaker 1: and she had three heads while she was talking to me,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, these are because she gave

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Speaker 1: me a little chocolate square, my friend, which are the

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Speaker 1: best mushrooms ever. I'll give them to you if you want,

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Speaker 1: but you have to take half of that. Last night

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Speaker 1: I took half and I had a good time too.

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Speaker 1: So wow, and you can still just like relate to

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Speaker 1: people and you're fine. Yeah. You know what I love

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Speaker 1: about mushrooms. They just make you laugh. You know, they're

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Speaker 1: up and they make you laugh. And yeah, we went

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Speaker 1: last night, we said, we hung out for like four hours,

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Speaker 1: just sitting around, laughing talking. Yeah. I love the dreams

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Speaker 1: the dream Oh you guys, I'm performing this weekend. Tickets

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Speaker 1: are still available for both shows, So bye some okay

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Speaker 1: by our guest Today, she wrote and directed In a World,

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Speaker 1: which is all about voice acting. Her fascination with voice

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Speaker 1: goes way back, and so now she has an audiobook

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Speaker 1: out called Inside Voice, which dissects your voice, how you

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Speaker 1: come across, how people change their voices, and the title

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Speaker 1: of the book is called Inside Voice. It's published by

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Speaker 1: Malcolm Godwell's company which is called Pushkin and then she

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Speaker 1: has a lot of famous people on it, Drew Barrymore,

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Speaker 1: Susie Yesman, Pam Career, Jeff Goldbloom, and Malcolm Gladwell. So

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Speaker 1: please welcome Lake Bell Hi, Lake, Hi, Chelsea. How are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm great. I'm better now now that I'm here with

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Speaker 1: you a long time. No see are you in New York?

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Speaker 1: I know I am. You look beautiful, Chelsea? Oh thanks,

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Speaker 1: I just had Wendy's. Maybe that's it. I'm glowing. I

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Speaker 1: think it's the Wendy's grease glow. I came. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what I need today? Once I found out

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Speaker 1: we were recording at this studio, I'm like, I need

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Speaker 1: some chicken nuggets from Wendy's. Did you really? I did?

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Speaker 1: I did. I allowed myself to do that about once

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Speaker 1: every three or four months. Okay, so it's Wendy's okay

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Speaker 1: for me. My my guilty one is Subway. I want

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Speaker 1: a Subway sandwich in a pinch. Yeah, I do. I

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Speaker 1: like get I like the combo meal. I like to

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Speaker 1: get a drink and you get a chip. I like

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Speaker 1: anything with like a combo. You know. I'm into combos

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Speaker 1: as well. I like a combo platter. I like to

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Speaker 1: think that. I don't like I want to opt out

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Speaker 1: of the fries because that's just like putting gasoline inside

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Speaker 1: your body. But then I'm like, you know what funkin,

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Speaker 1: I'm here, and I'm I'm going to enjoy myself and

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Speaker 1: your privilege, my white privilege. Actually, Okay, and there we started. Okay,

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Speaker 1: like I was listening to your book. Lake has a

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Speaker 1: new book out, an audio book in fact, called Inside Voice,

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Speaker 1: which is a great examination of all the different voices

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Speaker 1: that we use in different situations. Talk to us a

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Speaker 1: little bit about you. You've been fascinated by the subject

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Speaker 1: for quite some time, right, Yeah, I'm pretty openly vocally obsessed.

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Speaker 1: I love voices because I think they imbue so many

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Speaker 1: different characteristics, but also kind of it's a roadmap of

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Speaker 1: everything we've ever endured. So it's it's like your voice

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Speaker 1: is in headibly recognizable, and it is. I'd be so

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Speaker 1: curious to hear you at like fourteen or sixteen, you know,

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Speaker 1: because you as you are right now. Chelsea's voice. I

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Speaker 1: love where it's come because it has this intremendous evolution

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Speaker 1: and all these tapestry markers of like, Okay, you fucking

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Speaker 1: any traumas or delights or whatever. It's really kind of

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Speaker 1: this thing we don't pay attention to. Sure, we look

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Speaker 1: in the mirror, We're like, what kind of fucking crew

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Speaker 1: neck am I gonna wear? What? You know it? Where's

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Speaker 1: my part? Do I have a good lip? Is it mad?

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Speaker 1: Is it glossy? Okay? But the point is our voice

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Speaker 1: is the thing that connects to humans in some kind

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Speaker 1: of communication. So the second you open your mouth and

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Speaker 1: you're learning about somebody, sure you're gonna look at what

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Speaker 1: they're wearing and how they're You're gonna make some snap

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Speaker 1: judgments perhaps, But when they open their voice, that's when

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Speaker 1: you really start to get to know someone, and you

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Speaker 1: are going to profile, whether you want to or not,

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have some preconc you notions just based off

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Speaker 1: their pitch, their regional dialect perhaps, you know, do they

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Speaker 1: come from a certain burrow? Are they putting on an

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Speaker 1: affectation that feels inauthentic. There's a multitude of different things

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Speaker 1: and cocktails that we add on, whether we're aware of

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Speaker 1: it or not. Some people are so vocally self aware,

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Speaker 1: like myself, that they are obsessing over it, and then

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Speaker 1: other ones are like, don't play that back for me.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I can't, I can't. Is that me? You

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Speaker 1: know there's this real self loathing and I love this disconnect.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting to me from a sociological point of view. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think people get really freaked out by their own voices,

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Speaker 1: especially because everybody has a variety of different voices that

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Speaker 1: they use, like you know, your phone voice versus your

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Speaker 1: angry voice versus your when you're trying to be for me,

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Speaker 1: when I'm trying to be soft, I always have to

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Speaker 1: modulate my voice like okay, because I know I can

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Speaker 1: come up across as much harsher than I mean to

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Speaker 1: just by just by my you know, physicality, just because

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Speaker 1: people know that I'm a bit so I But when

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Speaker 1: I was a little girl, I remember doing stand up

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Speaker 1: and watching hearing my voice made me cringe because it

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Speaker 1: was so high and it was so unmodulated. I guess

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Speaker 1: would be the the term that comes to mind quickly,

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Speaker 1: and I remember always going, no, don't talk in that

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Speaker 1: high voice, like you don't sound serious, you know, lower

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Speaker 1: your register, lower it. And it is. It is an

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Speaker 1: evolution and a lot of people aren't even aware of

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Speaker 1: the sound of their voice or think about it, because

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Speaker 1: I can think of a couple of people when you

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Speaker 1: were just talking offhand, whose voices just made me disqualify

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Speaker 1: them as people like I can't listen. There's somebody in

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Speaker 1: my life that I can't listen to talk because I

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Speaker 1: can't take her seriously because she talks like this and

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Speaker 1: this kind of voice. Okay, so this is what this

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Speaker 1: is the next step, which is like our own vocal profiling.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you hit the nail on the head there,

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Speaker 1: because I also have, you know, really conflicted feelings about

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Speaker 1: some female voices, which it sounds you know, we talked

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Speaker 1: about the sex baby voice, which is you know, like

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Speaker 1: why do we have to go so high and like

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Speaker 1: so much fry and up talk and it's like Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 1: And yes, I have had things where I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: can't hire you, you know, and that can like I

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Speaker 1: can't hang out. I don't even know if I can

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Speaker 1: be in the same room with you, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And that for me is that's where I

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Speaker 1: am in conflict because as a woman who you know

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Speaker 1: loves women. I love women, I mean fucking love women.

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Speaker 1: I have sisters, I have daughter, you know, I just

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Speaker 1: I'm a girlfriend kind of gal and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to I don't want to isolate anyone. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be that person. However, it is problematic for me

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Speaker 1: because it is it is harkening back that sexy baby

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Speaker 1: sand is harkening back to a time when we are

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Speaker 1: little girls and it's a submissive voice. It's taking that

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Speaker 1: little girls submissiveness and marrying it with bedroom talk. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: say what you know? And that for me is like

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Speaker 1: woes or you know what I'm saying. So yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm with you. It sucks that we do profile, but

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Speaker 1: we do. I mean, even with regionalism, Okay, we're all

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Speaker 1: guilty of. You know, if someone talks like this and

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Speaker 1: the coming from you know, you're gonna have what you

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Speaker 1: might think, Okay what some people I've talked to, they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that person is from deep South, right, Like if

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Speaker 1: you have a really beautiful deep South farmland accent, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that accent is unforcable? Is it depends where you're sitting.

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Speaker 1: But no, I mean you might say that's unfussable and

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Speaker 1: then you know, it's it's interesting. It's like do you

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Speaker 1: do you not want to hire that person. Are you

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Speaker 1: making assumptions about that person socioeconomic or education status? You know, basically,

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Speaker 1: I'm just making the assumption that I don't want to

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Speaker 1: suck them, but I wouldn't. But I I hear what

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Speaker 1: you're saying, and I think that it's interesting as you

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Speaker 1: go through life. I mean, I don't know, does everybody

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Speaker 1: have enough introspection to actually think about how they're coming

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Speaker 1: across It's almost like a rarefied topic that you would

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Speaker 1: you need the luxury to even discuss. But here's the

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Speaker 1: deal is, like it goes across the board. So we

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Speaker 1: all enjoy. We have a couple of drinks. Everyone wants

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Speaker 1: to do an impression right there, like, oh, I have

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Speaker 1: a great Just last night there was someone who was

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Speaker 1: like I got a great Christopher walking. You know, you're

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Speaker 1: just like, okay, drunk person, like go for it. And

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Speaker 1: people have these like oh I've got a good Drew Barrymore,

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Speaker 1: I've got it, like a great Jeff Goldblum, who are

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Speaker 1: both in the book. You know, these are iconic voices.

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Speaker 1: We enjoy voices, we we relish in them, we we

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Speaker 1: enjoy playing with them. You know, people are they enjoy

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Speaker 1: doing accents. Even if you are not a professional, you

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Speaker 1: are using your voice to find love, to find connection,

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Speaker 1: to work, to interact with the person down at the

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Speaker 1: fucking gas station. You're always using your vocal tool, like

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Speaker 1: you right now revealing that your voice is going through

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Speaker 1: evolution from the younger girl who is perhaps just getting

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Speaker 1: up on stage and finding her voice as a comedian.

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Speaker 1: And then you made a conscious decision to try to

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Speaker 1: lower it. And I bet you've now arrived at a

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Speaker 1: place where this is your voice. I mean, it sounds

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Speaker 1: so deeply authentic to you. It doesn't sound like you're

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Speaker 1: pushing it down though we could. You know you can

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Speaker 1: do vocal warm ups to kind of find it, because

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Speaker 1: I used to push it down also, I did like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I want you to take me seriously and take me

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Speaker 1: as an authority. And now I find this is me,

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Speaker 1: this is just who I am off the truck. I

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Speaker 1: have a lower register than I did, and in the

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Speaker 1: book I reveal where I was vocally. But I really

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Speaker 1: love that pliability. I love that that has the ability

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Speaker 1: to kind of like we we vocally change. You know,

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Speaker 1: you you move to a certain burrow, you move out

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Speaker 1: of a certain burrow, you have a partner that speaks

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Speaker 1: a certain way. You smoke, you start smoking in your twenties,

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Speaker 1: and you do it throughout and then all of a

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Speaker 1: sudden you've got you know some I mean, you have

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Speaker 1: a beautiful kind of text or to your voice do,

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Speaker 1: but that's your history. It's also interesting to dissect how

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Speaker 1: one person how we say things right, because something can

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Speaker 1: come across as argumentative in a certain tone, and the

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Speaker 1: same exact sentence can come cross as inviting. Or you know,

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Speaker 1: if you take a sentence and you experiment with five

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Speaker 1: to ten different ways of saying something, they all have

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Speaker 1: a kind of different out impact and outcome. I have

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Speaker 1: a very specific issue with that in my own life,

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Speaker 1: where like some people have resting bitch face, I and

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Speaker 1: my sister has the same problem. We have what we

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Speaker 1: call resting bitch voice, where especially with like the people

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Speaker 1: we love the most, like my husband or whatever, I

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Speaker 1: can be just telling him a piece of information like

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Speaker 1: what time is it, and my voice will go it's

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Speaker 1: ten thirty, And I'm not pissed, but I sound so rude,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I have to be like, I didn't mean

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Speaker 1: it like that. I just meant it's ten thirty. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's intonation, right, So that's I mean, it

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Speaker 1: is interesting when we start to think about performance versus voice,

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Speaker 1: right so style because in the book it's very kinetic.

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Speaker 1: It's not it's active, you know. It's like I want

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Speaker 1: your participation as well as just like sitting on your butts.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's an active participatory experience. And trust or

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Speaker 1: bust is this game we play. And I have anonymous

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Speaker 1: readers of all different socio economics and from different continents

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Speaker 1: read with all of their accents because even I have

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Speaker 1: an accent, right, we all have accents. We have strong

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Speaker 1: American accents, generalized or what have you. And then I

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Speaker 1: have anonymous judges be brutally honest about whether they trust

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Speaker 1: that voice or bust it. And that's not based on performance, right, tonality,

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Speaker 1: curtness or whatnot. It's it's about just voice. Do you

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Speaker 1: trust that voice or not? You know, it was really

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Speaker 1: extraordinary because people, boy, I mean, it's all over the

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Speaker 1: place and people have such strong, profiled opinions about you know,

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Speaker 1: if you hear a deep South accent, or if you

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Speaker 1: see if you hear a British you know, kind of

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Speaker 1: like an estuary British accent, you know, and it for me,

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Speaker 1: it was just like, God, this just goes on. It's

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Speaker 1: like we're we're walking through life and you're going, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go get a fucking Starbucks or whatever like macciato,

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Speaker 1: and and the person who hands it to you, if

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Speaker 1: they're like you want milk with that, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: like you're immediately like, okay, where they're from. I know

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Speaker 1: that they have a big family. You know, you're just

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Speaker 1: making some assumptions. You could be totally wrong, but you

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Speaker 1: are gaining a lot from just the voice alone. And

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Speaker 1: so how do you apply this to your work because

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Speaker 1: you were talking about directing specifically, right, giving people notes

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Speaker 1: versus Yeah, I think I think in work, like you said,

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Speaker 1: I do lower my register a bit to just wield

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Speaker 1: kind of pure attention and respect. Right, I'm not trying to.

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Speaker 1: It's like instead of being bitchy or whatever, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like I'm just like I'm gonna wield a very

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Speaker 1: direct authority. Sound right, and that sound you know if

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Speaker 1: I was up here even without doing Sexy Baby, but

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Speaker 1: I just was a bit higher, you know, if I'm

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Speaker 1: up here that really, you know, would be a harder sound,

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Speaker 1: I think to wield power. And so if I said, okay,

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Speaker 1: everyone back to one, thank you so much, you know,

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Speaker 1: versus okay, thank you, everyone back to one. Let's let's

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Speaker 1: go one more time. Very different experience. And so how

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Speaker 1: do you apply that with your parenting and your little

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Speaker 1: girl especially? I mean both my kids. No Van Nazi,

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Speaker 1: no when I'm using directing voice when I'm missed, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so sometimes you know, with my kids, when I

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Speaker 1: read them a book and when I talk about, hey,

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Speaker 1: how was your day? That really that must have really hard. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so let's go back to sleep, and let's just really

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Speaker 1: take some deep breaths. And then it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we do not bite in this house, you know. You know,

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Speaker 1: so it's like there's a there's a big flip. My

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Speaker 1: voice is utilized. And then my kids they don't like

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Speaker 1: it when I put on like accents and stuff. They

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Speaker 1: you know, because I love doing that and I thought

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Speaker 1: they would think that's so fun, but they're very they're

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Speaker 1: very specific about it, and they don't like it because

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Speaker 1: it sounds like someone else. And I realized the beauty

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Speaker 1: of you know, our voices as as family members and

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Speaker 1: dear loved ones is we really count on those sounds.

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Speaker 1: Those sounds are more important than we realize, you know,

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Speaker 1: like the voice of my my mom. Even I'm forty three,

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Speaker 1: I still ah the voice of my mom. She's alive.

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Speaker 1: I could cry right now. I love it so much,

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Speaker 1: you know. And she's soft spoken and she you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like there's just something about it. And when I

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Speaker 1: asked my daughter in the book, I say, trying to

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Speaker 1: get a good sound bite, I was like, nova, honey,

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Speaker 1: what is my voice sound like? And you know, She's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It just sounds like you mom, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh God, that's sweet. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: cry now. But it's true. It's it's like the voice

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Speaker 1: of my brother. It's terrific. It's just him, and it's

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Speaker 1: indelible more so than sometimes these senses, you know, like

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Speaker 1: a smell or something. You walk by a Wendy's and

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Speaker 1: you and you smell whatever you smell, something you go

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Speaker 1: that reminds me of an exact time. And I think

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Speaker 1: voices for me have that same that same powerful poll. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like when you think about people who have passed on,

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Speaker 1: you know, my mom, I always can remember her voice,

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Speaker 1: and it was quiet. She was German, but she was

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Speaker 1: not your stereotypical German women woman. She was very demure

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Speaker 1: and shy and quiet, and so when I came on

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Speaker 1: the scene, I remember her always going, where did you

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Speaker 1: get this voice from? Where did you get this voice from?

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Speaker 1: But she meant it literally and metaphorically, like where did

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Speaker 1: you get your attitude? Where did you get all of it?

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Speaker 1: Because it feels like a package. And when you remember

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Speaker 1: people who have passed on my mom, you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't remember my brother's voice, really, but I do remember

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Speaker 1: my mom's voice. And when you remember, that's one of

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Speaker 1: the things that never goes away in terms of your memory,

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Speaker 1: your senses of smell. The other day, I was talking

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Speaker 1: to somebody like and we were talking about the smell

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Speaker 1: of smurfs, right, like I remember the way the smurf smelled,

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Speaker 1: and I remember the way Cabbage Patch kids smelled, and

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Speaker 1: I remember the way the school bus smelled and the

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Speaker 1: first you know, like going to school and all those smells.

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Speaker 1: And it's like voices are similar to that. You hear

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Speaker 1: a voice and you're like taken. And sometimes when people

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Speaker 1: sound like each other, you're like, whoa I already know

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Speaker 1: this person. Yes, it does. That's a really beautiful thing

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Speaker 1: you brought up, because, yeah, you you feel all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden like, wow, I feel kindred with you. I

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Speaker 1: just met you. But you sound just like my sister.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what to tell you or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. Do you have any recordings of your mother?

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Speaker 1: Do you have any of her voice? Yeah? We have

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Speaker 1: some videos from Yeah, but she was you know, whenever

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Speaker 1: there was a camera on or anything, is when she

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Speaker 1: just kind of disappeared. So it was very hard too. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have to ask my sisters about that, actually talk

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Speaker 1: to me about, Like so, Drew Barrymore, Susie Aspen, some

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Speaker 1: of the people that you talk about in the book.

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Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell, who actually published the book right with Pushkin Industries. Right,

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Speaker 1: are you guys friends? You and Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah. Malcolm

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Speaker 1: and I have known each other for many, many years,

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Speaker 1: and he is acutely aware of my obsession, and so

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Speaker 1: I would kind of talk to him a lot about

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Speaker 1: you know, from coming at it from a sociological point

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Speaker 1: of view, and I think that that I come at

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Speaker 1: it as an academic, you know, It's like I want

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Speaker 1: to learn you know. So it's like I ostensibly created

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Speaker 1: a post grad course in linguistics, you know, and the

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Speaker 1: sociology behind it is even a cultural conversation, like let's

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Speaker 1: talk about it, Let's talk about all the like pop

355
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 1: kind of fun stuff, and then also delve deeper into

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Speaker 1: things that I don't know as much about. And with Pushkin,

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Speaker 1: obviously I had access to just a tremendous amount of

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Speaker 1: professors and linguists and doctors to kind of even just

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00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 1: peel back the kind of architecture of how sounds are made,

360
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 1: you know, and then roll into kind of people's case

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Speaker 1: study stories, you know, stories that that are just moving.

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Speaker 1: For instance, Pam Greers in the book, and she talks

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Speaker 1: about losing her voice, actually physically losing her voice, going

364
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Speaker 1: ostensibly mute. It's called psychogenetic dysphonia in response to trauma

365
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Speaker 1: in her body, and that she's very moving and revealing.

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Speaker 1: I'm very close with Pam, and she was very giving

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Speaker 1: to kind of go there and talk about it. But

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Speaker 1: it's extraordinary that the voice can imbued with so much

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Speaker 1: emotion and also history, you know, yeah, and becoming self

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Speaker 1: aware of it, Like Drew has had the same voice

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Speaker 1: since the beginning of time, Like, she's not trying to

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00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: develop any sort of differentiation. And even though she gets

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00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 1: so many people do so many impersonations of her, she's

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00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: kind of stuck with her real voice and never put

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Speaker 1: on an affectation. And that's not an affectation either, that

376
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 1: is her real voice in real life. Yeah, it was

377
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,440
Speaker 1: really fun to talk to her because Drew she has

378
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Speaker 1: a sense of she's quildly unaware of self aware of

379
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Speaker 1: her voice. She she sort of is a little shocked

380
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Speaker 1: that people are so interested in in mimicking it, and

381
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 1: now she's in on the joke and so generous with

382
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 1: her Her spirit is so fucking great. And she was

383
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: talking about even the kind of architecture of her face

384
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 1: and mouth and how it's framed. She speaks from one

385
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,360
Speaker 1: side of the mouth and that affects the sound and

386
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 1: she said that. Actually Adam Sandler called her out on

387
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 1: that one time, like as an improvised line in a movie.

388
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: He's a I love it with that, you talk on

389
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 1: one side of your mouth or something. She was like,

390
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: I do you know? And like and it was one

391
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 1: of those things where in the book she goes on

392
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: a ride with me and we kind of like dissect

393
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 1: and talk about all the delights that are in her

394
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,120
Speaker 1: very very specific, iconic sound at this point, and why

395
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: people who are related sounds so much like each other.

396
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 1: You know, sisters always sound alike, like I always can.

397
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:21,919
Speaker 1: People always fay like, oh my god, you and your

398
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 1: sisters sound exactly alike. And you're like, well, how's that happen? Well,

399
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 1: my mom and her best friend. Frankly, my mom's best

400
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,400
Speaker 1: friend can call me on the phone and I'm like,

401
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: hey Mom, and she's like, no, it's Linda, And I'm

402
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 1: like what, oh god, sorry. You know, like they sound

403
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: so alike, they're like voice matches because they just spend

404
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 1: so much damn time together. And your voice starts to

405
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: it just attaches onto certain it's sponges qualities, and you

406
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: do you start sounding like your sister, You start sounding

407
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 1: like you're chosen sisters. You know. Yeah, that's interesting. It

408
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 1: is wild. Yeah. I mean it's like, you know when

409
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 1: somebody has a really sonorous, booming voice too, Like my

410
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 1: dad's voice is just very uh come ending, you know,

411
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: just like I could hear I mean that that's one

412
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 1: of those voices where you're like, that's probably where I

413
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,360
Speaker 1: got mine too, just as a mixture. Because I looked

414
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: at my mom and I looked at my dad. I

415
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 1: think I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go with you.

416
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to take the traidle over the Mormon bush. Chelsea,

417
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: where were you born? Like were you raised? Bored? Because

418
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 1: I'm hearing I mean both of you. I mean, let's

419
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: just do it. Where's everyone born and raised? Because what

420
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 1: are you hearing? Tell us what you think? Well, I

421
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,199
Speaker 1: hear from you, I hear I've known you for a

422
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 1: long time, but now we're really dissecting it. I just

423
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: hear some hard d s and tease in a way

424
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 1: that I'd never noticed before, which makes me feel like

425
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,719
Speaker 1: it's like New York Borough, Try State. And that was

426
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: just interesting to me in this moment where you know,

427
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: it's like you've got a little bit of that kind

428
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: of try State area. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey. Okay,

429
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: there it is, Okay, beautiful, Okay, so try State now, Catherine,

430
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: your turn. Catherine would have got well. A friend of

431
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: mine who was doing voice over for a while, she

432
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 1: was like, I couldn't nail a Midwestern accent. And then

433
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: she heard me say, like, I think I'm gonna have

434
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 1: an ball, and she was like Apple, she couldn't get

435
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: the ale. Yeah, but I'm from outside Chicago, Okay, Okay,

436
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: So that's really interesting because, yeah, so you're closer to

437
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: like that quintessential generalized American accent, which it does have

438
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: kind of Midwestern notes in it. But I would say

439
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: I lived there for four years and I was at

440
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: drama school, so it was definitely like everyone's listening to

441
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,719
Speaker 1: other fucking voices, and you know, when I got there,

442
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: was the only American in my college, and they were like,

443
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 1: oh my god, you've got to get rid of your

444
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: accents so strong, you know, And I was just like,

445
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: oh no, no, I was like, I'm American, so like

446
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: you guys have accs at and they're like, no, we're

447
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 1: fucking English. You've got the accent. We were here first,

448
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,479
Speaker 1: you know. So the whole thing was me trying they

449
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: were trying to iron out my strong American accent. So

450
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: that was an interesting kind of reframe, right because as

451
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: Americans were like, well, we're the baseline, right, We're America

452
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: and we're not. It's like there is no baseline. We

453
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 1: all have accents, every single one of us, and they

454
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: can change it any time asked Madonna. Just asked Madonna,

455
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: Chase somebody who went to England and you know, had

456
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: a British accent in six weeks. So there you go.

457
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: But that's great. Look there it is again. Right, I'm

458
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 1: like very pro vocal evolution. I'm also pro regionalism. I

459
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 1: want people to lean into their like Burrows and their

460
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: fucking regions and they're like real deal authentic voice. Because

461
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: the authentic voice, if it is who you are. If

462
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 1: if Madonna feels authentic in that sound, then you know, hallelujah.

463
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 1: Albeit you know. But this is what I find so interesting.

464
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 1: It's like, as we there are more ways to listen

465
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: to different voices. Right, everyone's got a platform, they can

466
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: find access to it, and that is opening our ears,

467
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 1: thankfully to different sounds. And we're not even talking about

468
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 1: singing and people who use their voice in that way

469
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: and how they're able to change that. And yeah, I

470
00:23:54,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: mean that's a whole other set, that's a whole another book. Yeah, yeah, speak.

471
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: I think I think that people do, honestly, Jose, like,

472
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: I think you're right, but I do. Singing is often

473
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: talked about. You know, nobody talks about their voice because

474
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: they're just like, yeah, but like a freaking boy who

475
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: gives a ship, and you're like, well, the truth is

476
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 1: is that it is the thing that you're wielding to

477
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 1: broker love, to broker deals. It's on you at all times,

478
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: and yet you're more concerned about do I like the

479
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 1: high Rise kick pant or not, you know which I

480
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: do really like. And it's also you know, when you're

481
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: dating somebody and you here like, this is why I

482
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: don't like FaceTime. I like talking on the phone when

483
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: you're getting to know somebody. I find that to be

484
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: much sexier than holding up a phone and looking at

485
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: their face until you get to know each other better.

486
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: I think it's nice too, because I think there's something

487
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: very sexy about before you meet someone, which I don't

488
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: usually make a practice of talking on the phone very

489
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 1: much before I meet somebody if I'm being set up

490
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: or whatever, But I like, I find that much more intimate. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah,

491
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: it is like there's something very old fashioned about that,

492
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: and I like that you get to know a lot

493
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: about somebody when you're like just learning about them and

494
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 1: learning their voice for the first time. I agree completely, Yeah,

495
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: I mean I would just piggyback that, which is like

496
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: the voice. It's kind of broadcasting how you want to

497
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: be heard. And so in that intimate setting when you're

498
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: meeting someone and you're able to not just like be

499
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,479
Speaker 1: distracted by the visual right you're even looking at yourself

500
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 1: on the FaceTime, you're like, how do I look in them?

501
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: You know? Howes he look? And yes, I agree with you.

502
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: It becomes a more authentic exchange. Okay, Well, today, like,

503
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: we're going to use our voices to help callers who

504
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 1: are calling in with problems, giving them life advice. And

505
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: some of the questions are specifically about voice. Some of

506
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: them are about you know, how we move and operate

507
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 1: in the world and confidence and that sort of thing.

508
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: But we'll take a quick break and we'll be right

509
00:25:55,280 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 1: back with like and Chelsea, and we're back, and we're

510
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: back while our first email comes from Kenny, and Kenny

511
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: is a woman just off why I dear Chelsea. For

512
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: as long as I can remember, I've used humor as

513
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 1: a defense mechanism. I've always been the quote funny friend,

514
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: and I've pretty much accepted that this is my role

515
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: in life and generally have leaned in and been Okay,

516
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: with it. Now that I'm in my thirties, however, I

517
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: feel like I've come to a realization that no one

518
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: actually takes me seriously. I've allowed myself to be the

519
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: class clown for so long that I question if I

520
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: even take myself seriously. In general, it feels like when

521
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 1: I speak, people will glaze over my words and just

522
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: laugh at whatever I say, even when I'm not at

523
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: all joking or trying to be funny. I've also been

524
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 1: told in past relationships that I have a quote tone,

525
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: but I'm still bewildered about what the tone is how

526
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: I can turn it off. In my current relationship, my

527
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 1: partner has had to quote explain me to her family

528
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: because they can't tell when I'm joking or seria us.

529
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 1: I guess my question to you, Chelsea is how do

530
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: I retain the best thing about myself without it also

531
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: being the thing that I start to resent. I've tried

532
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: talking about it in therapy, but my unfunny therapist doesn't

533
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: seem to get it either. Kenny huh question? How old

534
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: is Kenny? Kenny? The thirties? Okay, well, Chelsea, how would

535
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: you start with this one? Because I have a couple

536
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: of things that are you go ahead like and I'll

537
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: piggyback on you alreat copy that I mean first and foremost.

538
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: It feels like this is like an authenticity believing in

539
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 1: yourself thing. The problem isn't being too funny. I think

540
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 1: the problem is believing in yourself and owning it and

541
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: and feeling secure and safe in a relationship and in

542
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: a room when you agree. Yeah, I would say the

543
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: more that you allow other people's opinions to sink into

544
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: your psyche, the less grounded that you will become. So

545
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: it's a slippery slope when you start taking it like

546
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: there's one thing to be like, we don't know when

547
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 1: you're kidding or not. Like I mean, I've I've experienced

548
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 1: that of course myself too. But I think that what

549
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: Lake is saying is true. There has to be a

550
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: sense of ownership over who you are. And I think

551
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: what's getting in your ways allowing other people's opinions to

552
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 1: kind of sway your own opinion about yourself. You have

553
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: to stick to your guns and understand that this is

554
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: your personality. Maybe if you take things too far, you're

555
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 1: constantly offending people. There's something to reevaluate. But if people

556
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 1: are just not getting whether or not it's a joke

557
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: and it's not offensive, and that is kind of a

558
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,640
Speaker 1: an other people's problem. Like your personality is your own

559
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: and you should embrace it and you should celebrate yourself

560
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: and kind of really just reject anyone's opinions about the

561
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: tone of your voice, you know, unless you're screaming at

562
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: people every day. Yeah, I mean, where this is a

563
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: nuanced thing. We were not there, but I do you know,

564
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: I want to piggy aboun you just said, which is

565
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: you can only be responsible for what's on your fucking

566
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: side of the street, you know what I mean, So

567
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: you can only be you and and then also be

568
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: kind to yourself that you're participating in your relationship with

569
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: all of the people around you in the way that

570
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: feels authentic to you. If you feel like that, you're

571
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: kind of your plan apart or something that's on your

572
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: side of the street, and you gotta fix that. Yeah,

573
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: you definitely don't want to be playing a role in

574
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: your own life, Like, don't do that. You want to

575
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: be authentic to who you are, and the people that

576
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: really love you are going to get it anyway, you know.

577
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: And it's really annoying to have to explain things to

578
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: people all the time. I mean, a quirky personality is

579
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: a quirky personality. And from what I can tell, I

580
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: mean by your letter alone, which isn't much because you're

581
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: not she's not on a zoom right. It's just sounds

582
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: like that's your thing. Like you know what I said

583
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: about yelling, Like I used to yell when I was

584
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 1: doing stand up a lot. I was used to yell

585
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: to get my point across, and I would watch That's

586
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: what would make me cringe the most because it's like

587
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: sometimes yelling the nudes your point, you know what I mean,

588
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: It kind of diminishes the whole point. Here would be

589
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: I would just pop in here and say, okay, so

590
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: here's a perfect like you could try this, Kenny, which

591
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: is slow down because the hardest thing, especially when you're

592
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: like a funny person or you have funny bones, or

593
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: you feel like you have to kind of entertain a

594
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: little bit in a situation where you've been you've had

595
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: the propensity to do that people please e you know,

596
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 1: like hey I'm funny girl, Kenny. You know, like if

597
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: you have that thing, slow the fun down, you know,

598
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: like respect yourself enough to like read the room, listen

599
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 1: to the people around you, and then participate when ready.

600
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: You don't have to fill the space, fill the space

601
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: with the I don't want it to be silent, so

602
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something Blacky. You know, that's a good exercise.

603
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: If you are one of those people that likes to

604
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: just insert yourself all the time, it's a good exercise

605
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: to hang back and like if there's a lull of silence,

606
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: let someone else feel that. Anyway, good luck with your voice,

607
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: and thinks Kenny, good luck with your voice, Kenny, and

608
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: you're a new relationship. Well. Our next question comes from Toro.

609
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: She's here with us, she's twenty seven. Especially because you

610
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,479
Speaker 1: have had sort of a lot of different careers and

611
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: you continue to have a lot of different careers, I

612
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: thought this would be a good question for you and

613
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: sort of like fighting your inspiration again, Toro says, Dear Chelsea,

614
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 1: I'm writing as a longtime fan who has always admired

615
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: your passion and drive for what you do. I'm a

616
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: twenty seven year old woman living at n y C,

617
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: and I'm feeling completely lost in life. Growing up, I

618
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: always thought I wanted to be a cosmetologist. I grew

619
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: up neglected in poor but put myself through beauty school.

620
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: Immediately after high school, I quickly realized I was in

621
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: a deadbeat job in a deadbeat town and moved here.

622
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: I can't practice hair in New York because my license

623
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: is in a different state, however, so I became a

624
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: bartender up until just before the pandemic, when I left

625
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: to become a burlesque dancer. Since the pandemic, I've tried

626
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: a multitude of different jobs to attempt to make ends meet.

627
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: I've failed at everything I have attempted and dug myself

628
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: a deeper hole than before. I'm currently trying to continue

629
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: dancing and performing, but without any formal training and without

630
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: any money to take classes, and once again stuck. I

631
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: now have no self confidence, no dreams, no goals, nothing

632
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: inspires me, and on top of it all, I'm still unemployed.

633
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: I refuse to go back to the restaurant industry because

634
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: after seven years, I'm fed up. Everything I've tried that

635
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: has interested me or inspired me at one point no

636
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: longer does. But after months to years of putting my

637
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: call into something new, I've never been able to make

638
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: ends meet or come even close to being able to

639
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: support myself. Because of this, I've convinced myself that I'm

640
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: mediocre at everything I do and my sense of self

641
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 1: worth is completely destroyed. So I'm looking to you for

642
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: some help regaining inspiration and self worth. How do I

643
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: find my passion? How do I find inspiration? And how

644
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 1: do I find self worth and confidence after being beaten

645
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: down my entire life? Thanks for your time, Toro, Toro, Hi,

646
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: Hi to meet you. Toro. That's fatty Tuna, Toro, that's me.

647
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: Are you poor thing? This is like Bell or special

648
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: guests today And you know, of course have open to Catherine. Hi, yes, Hi, Hi?

649
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: How are you? Oh honey? How you say you've got

650
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: to pick yourself up? First of all, you are giving

651
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: yourself a lot of negative feedback that is going to

652
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: keep you in a negative like spin cycle. So first

653
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: and foremost, I'm gonna give you one thing to do.

654
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: And this has proven I've had I don't know, I

655
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 1: take on a lot of patients, even though I'm not

656
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: a medical doctor, a lot of people. There is a

657
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: thing that you can do every morning. It takes twenty

658
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: one days. You write down every morning, you get up

659
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: and you spend one minute writing down all the things

660
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: that you are grateful for, and you know you will

661
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: find things that you're grateful for. You have to write

662
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: down everything that comes to your mind. It could be

663
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: your sweater, it could be your apartment, it could be materialistic,

664
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: or it could be a family member or your hair.

665
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Just do that every single day for

666
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: twenty one days and you will have an energy shift.

667
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: This has proven it's like data driven. I read it

668
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: in a book years ago. I've employed it on myself,

669
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: my sisters, my friends, and people change and they feel it.

670
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: You feel an energy shift because your energy right now

671
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: is is going around in a negative circle. Secondly, let's

672
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: figure out what you want to do and do it.

673
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: You know, can you get your license to do hair

674
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: in New York City? I would have to retake the tests,

675
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: but it's also been so long and because it's a

676
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: different state, I have to pretty much go back to

677
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: school for it. So it's something that I'm like not

678
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: sure I'm interested in. When I lo have cosmetology school

679
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: to go to the hair salon, it was a lot

680
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 1: of forty hour work weeks with zero dollar paychecks because

681
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: it was all strictly commission so that made it really

682
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: hard on me. So when I moved to New York,

683
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 1: I didn't even really want to go back to that.

684
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: Of course, I've jruggled the thought, like in the past

685
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: couple of years since I've been so like confused. But um,

686
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's such a big step to take

687
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: because I'm still paying off school loans from cosmetology school.

688
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 1: Like if I really want to add to that or

689
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: I really want to like put my passion into dancing,

690
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: it's just really difficult. Classes are very expensive and it

691
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: takes a lot of time and training. So is dancing

692
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: is dancing? The passion is that the North Star Apparrently,

693
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: it's been like every like six to eight months, I

694
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: feel like I'm on something new. But I've been trying

695
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 1: to do dancing that was initially where I left the

696
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 1: restaurant industry back in twenty nine. I mean, I just

697
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, you are being really hard on yourself,

698
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: and there's it sounds like an extraordinary path of like

699
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 1: you're looking at it from a negative lens, but I'm like, oh,

700
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: look at all those amazing experiences she has. I'm like,

701
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 1: as a writer, I'm like sucking write that ship down,

702
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: Like I hope you're journaling, and like every person you

703
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: meet is an opportunity to just like, oh my god,

704
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: this is wild. Like I have the privilege of living.

705
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: I have the privilege of like getting to be here

706
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: and experience. I mean, you're a young, beautiful woman and

707
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: you have you know what I mean, Like you have

708
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: the act that you're dancing. I mean, dancing is one

709
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: of my favorite things in the world. And it's so

710
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: in body and so like that's such a privilege to

711
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 1: move your body. And I get that, girl, Like I

712
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: love that. And so if that is, even if it changes,

713
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 1: just remember I mean, I always have to remember this too.

714
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: The terms can always change. It's okay to change your

715
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: mind and to try to try new things, right, I mean,

716
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: who says you have to do one thing for the

717
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 1: rest of your goddamn life. Like that's ridiculous. It's not

718
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 1: the human experience. Yeah, it's like the you're young girl.

719
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: What are you in your twenties? Yeah, okay, well listen,

720
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: you have the whole world ahead of you. I wasn't

721
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 1: I was still waitressing when I was twenty seven years old.

722
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,479
Speaker 1: I didn't you know, get on my feet financially until

723
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 1: I was like twenty nine or thirty. So, like, I

724
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: honestly feel like we attract great things when our vibration

725
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 1: is high. Like when your vibration is low and you're

726
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: like funck, nothing works, nothing works, then then you're just

727
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: attracting negativity. Like you have to really focus on the

728
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: energy that you're putting out there because then you're gonna

729
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: draw things into you and people into you that are

730
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: going to help you achieve what you want to achieve. Now,

731
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: are you getting paid to dance at all? Yeah? So

732
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 1: I do burlesque and like go go, and it's pretty

733
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: much wherever I can book if they have an opening spot.

734
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: But it's not a lot of money. It's you know,

735
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,240
Speaker 1: mostly tip based, so it's hit or miss on the crowds.

736
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: But I want to say, like usually an average gig

737
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 1: is like anywhere from seventy five to a hundred and

738
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars. And can I just ask a question

739
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: about the waitressing thing, because I heard you were like

740
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 1: I'm burnt down on that. I'm just curious because I

741
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: actually I didn't like I loved it because a smile

742
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: can get you a great trip. You know, I just

743
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: be curious why it couldn't be concurrent. I know you're like,

744
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 1: funk this. You don't have to do it exclusively, but

745
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: it is like kind of a good gig if you

746
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,280
Speaker 1: can get it to supplement so that you can continue

747
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: to dance. Yeah. So I had a really great bartending

748
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: job that it took a lot out of me to

749
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 1: actually leave because I had like benefits and everything from it,

750
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: and I was taking like a decent income. I had

751
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: a savings and everything. But when I got the dancing opportunity,

752
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: I said to myself, like, I have lost so many

753
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: opportunities because of my bartending job because you have to

754
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: work every night every weekend. So all of the dancing

755
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: opportunities or the classes I wanted to take, I was

756
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: not available to take those opportunities. I've thought about going

757
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: back because like of how financially strapped I am, but

758
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: it really was really bad for me mentally. I was

759
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: like crying every day on the way home from work

760
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: because it was just so stressful. I worked at a

761
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:38,479
Speaker 1: really high end like high energy lower East Side cocktail bar,

762
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: and the people and the massive amount of tickets that

763
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: would come in for two bartenders, and it just became

764
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: too much over the years. And on top of it,

765
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: I was drinking every day and just being behind the bar,

766
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,800
Speaker 1: being around it. I couldn't control myself not to because

767
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: of the stress. It's like not a healthy decision for me.

768
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: Back wasn't a healthy Okay, But I think that's one like,

769
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: that's one experience like you can have you create a

770
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: complete Listen, everybody is strapped for servers right now. You

771
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: can easily find a part time gig. I have no

772
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: doubt about that. In New York City there's understaffed and hotels,

773
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,799
Speaker 1: like a hotel hotels are really dying right now. That's

774
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: where my last job was at hotel. And you don't

775
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: have to be behind a bar. You can be a server.

776
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 1: You don't have to put yourself in that situation. I

777
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: know you probably make more money behind the bar, but

778
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: there are plenty of serving opportunities. Even if you supplement

779
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: what you're doing two or three times a week, you

780
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: can easily get in a part time and just make

781
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: that your mandate, like I'm only available three nights a

782
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: week or three shifts a week or whatever it is

783
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: that's going to help you financially. Sustain yourself until you

784
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: can get more classes and until you can cast a

785
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: wider net for the places where you can perform, find

786
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 1: more places and actually do the legwork so you can

787
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 1: have more shifts at different places and possibly places where

788
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 1: you're gonna make more than seventy five dollars, you know, dancing.

789
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: So I think you want to put your best foot

790
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: forward and just kind of suck it up for the

791
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: time being, Like, you don't have to look at serving wait,

792
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 1: you're singer bartending as a permanent ending to your life,

793
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: or like this is going to be a permanent thing.

794
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: This is to help you get a leg up to

795
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: get you where you need to go so that you

796
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,439
Speaker 1: can become a professional dancer and make plenty of money

797
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: doing it. And I have no doubt you will. You

798
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 1: kind of have to make a couple of sacrifices right now,

799
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: which is totally normal for being in your twenties. That's

800
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: what we always have to do. We have to do

801
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: ship we don't want to do because we want to

802
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: set ourselves up. Yeah, and also, like you're very clearly smart.

803
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 1: You have a great voice. PS. I love this episode

804
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: is brought to you by Lake's voice. You do this

805
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,760
Speaker 1: woman is beautiful and strong and has a great voice.

806
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: You you, you come off very You're terrific. You know,

807
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: so fun this so like you turn it around right

808
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: fucking now, You're gonna write in that thing that Chelsea

809
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: told you to do that every day and then it's

810
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: just this is just happening to you right now, and

811
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: this is the turn it just is it just I

812
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: know it's weird, right, but this is what it is.

813
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I agree with that you need

814
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: a little kick in the ass, and you know, just

815
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: you have to turn your whole attitude around and just

816
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 1: move towards the goal. Don't resist everything that it takes

817
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: to get towards your goal. Just move towards it. Yeah,

818
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: And I think having some sort of supplementary income will help.

819
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: Like there's when you're at that age, like not to

820
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: put everything back to your age, but like when you're

821
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: twenty seven, you have this dichotomy of like, Okay, I

822
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: need to have enough money that I'm like kind of

823
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,479
Speaker 1: comfortable and can afford to feed myself, but also enough

824
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: time and energy to pursue these creative pursuits. And I

825
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: very much identify with where you are. I you know

826
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: felt the same way until a few years ago when

827
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: I found podcasting. You just kind of have to like

828
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: keep throwing ship at the wall and see what inspires

829
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: your passion. Like I did acting, I did voice over,

830
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: I did improv, I did writing. I did all these

831
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: different things, and at the end of the day, it

832
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: was the conglomeration of all those experiences that I had

833
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,720
Speaker 1: that led me to where I am now and really

834
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: gave me this fabulous career that I love. Where she

835
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 1: throws around where it's like supplementary, what the fund is

836
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: that supplementary? What? No? I love it though, fucking yeah,

837
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: creates some words, she hears stories, hard boiled eggs around,

838
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: and a step blocked bag on planes. Okay, so let's

839
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:24,760
Speaker 1: just be clear with right now. Toro, Toro do not.

840
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 1: I don't think, I won't think I'm not to. Is

841
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,359
Speaker 1: that is that short for something? Toro? Is that your

842
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: full name or is that a nickname? Nope? So that's um,

843
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: it's actually my stage name. But nobody in New York

844
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,720
Speaker 1: calls me by my legal name unless they're like blood

845
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: related to me. So I don't tell people my legal

846
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: name because I don't even respond to it anymore. But no,

847
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 1: it's actually because I was a cheerleader growing up. So

848
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: the mascot in the movies, the Mighty Toros, that's how

849
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: I choose my name back when I was a teenager Anazing.

850
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: I feel like you gotta write the stories. This is

851
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 1: just cool, Like you have a lot of really, I

852
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel like you might. You you talk

853
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: like a writer. I think that you should be journaling

854
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 1: and allowing yourself to own your stories and feel even

855
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: if they go nowhere. It's a beautiful exercise to just

856
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: be like you know you you say, you dance one

857
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: night and there's just like some crazy you know, a

858
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: couple that came in and they're just hilarious and they're

859
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: from you know. You just start to catalog your experiences.

860
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 1: They're yours, they're personal. That's special. Yeah. And additionally, have

861
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: kind your conversations with yourself. You know, like you you

862
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 1: cannot be so rough on yourself. If you feel that

863
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: way about yourself, that's what you're projecting to everybody, you

864
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So you have to start with

865
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: that inner dialogue and change the conversation that you're having

866
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,439
Speaker 1: with yourself into a loving, positive one. It makes a

867
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 1: huge difference. Yeah, thank you, Like it really all in

868
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: my brain. I guess coincides with the obviously as we

869
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: all have the pandemic. I think because like that's I

870
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: started doing this right before the pandemic and then nightlife

871
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 1: and everything just succeeded, and that was kind of it

872
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: for me until last year. And I think it's just

873
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: really hard getting back up into the industry. So I

874
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,240
Speaker 1: just needed a push to like get that kickstart going again.

875
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: And I needed the inspiration because I was telling Katherine

876
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 1: the other day, I've tried like a bunch of different therapists.

877
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 1: I'm having trouble finding a really good one right now,

878
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: and it's just been like really bad advice. And I

879
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 1: just needed to hear somebody tell me you'll just do

880
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 1: it it, just do it. It's not an advertisement for Nike, No,

881
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: you got this, though. I think you should also, like

882
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: you could dance and commercials and stuff, you know, Like

883
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: I think you should try and also put on your

884
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: list of things to attain in the next couple of years,

885
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: like finding a commercial agent and like going out and

886
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: using your talent to for cure money for commercials for

887
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 1: films for whatever, you know, that's a great idea. I

888
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: have a question about commercials. How do they don't they

889
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: care a lot about tattoos because I do have a

890
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: lot of tattoos. They love it because my hands and like, no, no, no,

891
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: it's it's all that's like, you're gonna get booked tomorrow

892
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 1: because in my head it's always old. And now people

893
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: are into tattoos. Okay, you should be going to like

894
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: open call, you know, getting backstage West, you know, back

895
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 1: backstage East, just like just say, you know, just try

896
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: to throw some ship to the wall. And she said,

897
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, what's this. Okay, they're like auditioning people

898
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: for a fucking taco bell whatever. It doesn't matter. Just

899
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: you're just you're just trying some ship. You're trying to

900
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: like gain experiences, and that is a fucking privilege, you know.

901
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: I was a waitress too, just f y. I loved

902
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: I mean I thought it was because I love human

903
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: beings and I loved voices and all this stuff. And

904
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: it was just like a constant rotation of different people.

905
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: I did cotail waitressing, I did hostessing. I then went

906
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 1: back to coutail waitressing and then just classic waitress. And

907
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: I also waited tables for probably seven eight years. I

908
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 1: hated every single minute of it, and I was fired

909
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: from every job that I ever had, but they were

910
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: some of the best times and best friends I ever made,

911
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: you know. So, like I don't love the act of serving,

912
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: like I I don't like how rude people can be,

913
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 1: but you also develop all these other relationships and I

914
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: have friends that are you know, I've known now for

915
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: twenty five years from waitressing. So it's not the worst

916
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: thing in the world. You just have to find an

917
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 1: environment that suits you and just start looking at everything

918
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: in it, like try to just look at everything with

919
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: it just a little bit more of a positivity, and

920
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: I promise you it will become infectious and then opportunities

921
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 1: will present themselves that you didn't know that we're there before. Yeah, great,

922
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: thank you. And I'm definitely gonna try writing down gratitude lists.

923
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: I've had people tell me to like talk to myself

924
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 1: in the mirror doing it, but I feel like stupid

925
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: doing that. So I think writing is the way to go,

926
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 1: which I will try make sure you keep tracking of it.

927
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: Twenty one days. It takes to change your energy. Okay, great,

928
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: that's good. Yeah, And I think there's something very powerful

929
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: that both of these women told you to start writing,

930
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 1: you know, so there's something there. I used to journal

931
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 1: a lot actually when I was younger, so great like us,

932
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 1: it's a sign. Sighing girl, wonderful. Well, thank you so

933
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: much for calling in Toro, Toro, thank you, thank you

934
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: so much for taking the time. I really appreciate. Yeah,

935
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 1: good luck with everything tomorrow. Keep in touch and let

936
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: us know how things go. Okay, great, I will do

937
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: Thank you, Bye, bye bye. I've definitely felt like that

938
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: in my twenties, felt hopeless, like nothing was going to

939
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: work out fucking I mean, it's it's like she's right

940
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: on target, Like that's exactly at your twenties, especially when

941
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 1: you're in your you're in the late twenties whatever, you're

942
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god. Yeah, you're like, what if

943
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: I hit thirty and I'm still working at this like

944
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: a place. Yeah, and I feel like twenties seven specifically,

945
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: like you have so much stress age like that you

946
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: don't even have in your thirties, but you have it

947
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: in your twenties. Like if I don't get this by

948
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: this certain time, everything figured out, Yeah, laur next color

949
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: is Emily, She says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Emily.

950
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty three year old currently living in Ohio.

951
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: I jumped right into law school after graduating with my

952
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 1: BA from George Washington University in Washington, d C. I

953
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 1: loved living on the East Coast, but the school I

954
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: attend in Ohio gave me such a big scholarship that

955
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: it was almost impossible to turn down. I grew up

956
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 1: in Ohio and the majority of my family still lives here,

957
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 1: but I have a constant worry in the back of

958
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: my mind that I'm going to get stuck here. I've

959
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 1: had it in my head that I'll move back to

960
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: the East Coast once I graduate, and I'm determined to

961
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: make it happen. But there's also a nagging voice in

962
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: my head, keeping me up at night at least twice

963
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: a week, telling me that I'll never get a job

964
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 1: as an attorney in New York City or d C.

965
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: When I go to send internship applications, oftentimes I don't

966
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: even send them or apply because I don't think I'm

967
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: going to get it, and I don't want to feel

968
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,879
Speaker 1: the rejection when it inevitably happens. I know a lot

969
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: of female law students and lawyers also suffer from this

970
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: sense of impostor syndrome, like I'm not intelligent enough to

971
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 1: be a lawyer or won't be able to succeed. And

972
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: I think a lot of my intrusive thoughts boiled down

973
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:02,280
Speaker 1: to that. Latically. I know I'm a very intelligent young woman.

974
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm a well rounded candidate, and I'm only twenty three

975
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: years old with my entire career ahead of me, But

976
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: right now, it's incredibly difficult for me to see all

977
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: of the possibilities that will be available to me. Any

978
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 1: advice on how to combat these feelings of imposter syndrome,

979
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 1: or does any advice in general that you would give

980
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 1: yourself in your twenties trying to figure out life and career.

981
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: All the best, Emily, Emily, Hi, Emily, Hi, Chelsea, how

982
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 1: are you? I'm good. This is Lake Bel she's our

983
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 1: special guest today, and you've spoken to Catherine. We all

984
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: have that voice in our head, Emily that tells us

985
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,959
Speaker 1: that we are not good enough, that we're not smart enough,

986
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: that we're not capable enough. And that's not the real voice.

987
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: You're the real voice. You got a full scholarship. You

988
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 1: graduated or you're graduating, I have a A and then

989
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: I'm almost halfway through law. Okay, yeah, you you just

990
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: need to flip the script with yourself. You're just you're

991
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: giving yourself an incredibly difficult time and you're not even

992
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 1: done with a school and don't you can't not send

993
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: in applications because you're scared of rejection. Then you're gonna

994
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 1: end up exactly where you are. You have to take

995
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: leaps of faith and you have to be prepared to

996
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: be rejected. It's okay. The more times you get rejected,

997
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 1: the closer you are to getting your real job. Hey man,

998
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 1: you know what rejection is one hundred thousand percent about

999
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: the human experience, Like you have to If you didn't

1000
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: have rejection, you wouldn't appreciate anything you I mean, you

1001
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,879
Speaker 1: know this. Even being in school, you're like, Okay, I'm

1002
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: gonna try really hard on this and then you're gonna

1003
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: you know, they're gonna give you criticism, and then you're

1004
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: gonna learn from that fucking criticism, right, So that that

1005
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: is that's it. You're doing it, But you gotta apply

1006
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 1: like the idea that you're putting up roadblocks, for yourself

1007
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: and like creating your own like you're you're creating a

1008
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 1: false store, like a false narrative about yourself, Like you're

1009
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: basically out to get yourself, is what you're doing. So

1010
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 1: you need to get on your own team. You have

1011
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,879
Speaker 1: to be your best ambassador because unless you believe in you, like,

1012
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,359
Speaker 1: how are other people going to believe in you. You've

1013
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: got the skills, you're getting the education, you've got the tools.

1014
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 1: You're good looking, that's a bonus. Thank you, You're gorgeous,

1015
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 1: you're smart at hell, listen, what are can I just

1016
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,800
Speaker 1: ask you personally, what is it about that, that idea

1017
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: of staying in Ohio. I'm just curious, why is that

1018
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 1: negative for you? I wouldn't say it's so much a

1019
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: negative obviously, because I don't want you to get like

1020
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: Midwest slander here. I love the mid West. I loved

1021
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 1: growing up in the Midwest. But I think after I

1022
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 1: left and went to underground in DC, I loved d C.

1023
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 1: D C was home. I think I just realized that

1024
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 1: I don't picture myself living here or working here long term,

1025
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: and so I guess I just kind of had it

1026
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: in my head that when I came back I was like,

1027
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 1: oh gosh, like I cannot, I can't get stuck here.

1028
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 1: So it's not so much a negative. And it's wonderful

1029
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 1: being close to family since I was away for four years.

1030
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 1: Sometimes when I get stressed about this, I'm like, this

1031
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: is such a Champagne problem, Like you poor thing, You're

1032
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: in law school, Like, so what if you don't get

1033
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: a job right away where you want, You're still going

1034
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 1: to have a job and these degrees, um, So it's

1035
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 1: not so much a negative. It's just I think I'm

1036
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: so very type A focus and so I just I

1037
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 1: have to have a plan of where I'm going to go,

1038
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: and I think that uncertainty of not in undergrad I

1039
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 1: was going to law school, so that was the plan

1040
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 1: I was. I was always a plan, and so I

1041
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: think now it's it's just uncomfortable to kind of sit

1042
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: with it. I am Type A two. So I just

1043
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: want to speak to this really quickly. I really freaking

1044
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. And all I can say

1045
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: is you don't know where you're going to end up.

1046
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 1: And I know that's a hard pill to swallow, but

1047
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 1: you could have opportunity in San Francisco. You don't know

1048
00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 1: You could be in Chicago for two years. You're in

1049
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 1: school right now. All your only concentration is be great today.

1050
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: Do things that make you proud for the hard work

1051
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: that you're doing, like pat yourself on the goddamn back

1052
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: and apply everywhere. It might be New York, it might

1053
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: be d C. You know, it might be sand for

1054
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 1: I don't know if I keep saying sand Fran for you,

1055
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 1: I don't know why. But the point is you just

1056
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,839
Speaker 1: don't know. And that's a delight. God. I mean, that's

1057
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: the thing. Another thing like you young people do not

1058
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 1: understand how nice it is to not have your life

1059
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 1: mapped out for you. You're on the precipice of the

1060
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: beginning of the rest of your life. This is exciting,

1061
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: and being uncertain about where that's gonna be is also exciting.

1062
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: I understand your type A, and that's not exciting to you.

1063
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel exciting. But when you look at it

1064
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: from like a thirty thousand foot perspective, everything is about

1065
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 1: to begin for you. You don't know who you're going

1066
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,839
Speaker 1: to fall in love with, how many times you're gonna

1067
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 1: fall in love, what kind of cities you're gonna get

1068
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 1: to experience, what kind of work life you're gonna get

1069
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 1: to experience. And I mean being present like in the moment.

1070
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: It is a very hard skill to develop as a

1071
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: young person. I'm sure because I didn't develop it until

1072
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 1: a few years ago. But like, if you can just

1073
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 1: be present in the uncertainty, that's a huge gift and

1074
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: it will be a huge life lesson for you to understand, Like, Okay,

1075
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: this is a process. While you're applying to all these things,

1076
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 1: it's okay to just give it up and give it away,

1077
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And let it happen the

1078
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 1: way it's supposed to happen, and things will come your way,

1079
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 1: and then you'll make decisions about where you're gonna go

1080
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 1: and where you're gonna live. I don't think you're gonna

1081
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: stay in Ohio. I don't think you have to worry

1082
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, people, you're fine. People who stay in

1083
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,439
Speaker 1: Ohio really want to stay in Ohio. Yeah, you you'll

1084
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: just go out of You're not going to be in Ohio.

1085
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 1: We're both sitting here going like, she's not gonna even

1086
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: be in it. You don't want to be You're not

1087
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: gonna So just apply everywhere else, you know, and let

1088
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,800
Speaker 1: it and let the surf take you, let the currents

1089
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 1: take you to wherever that's gonna be. And then additionally,

1090
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 1: you did say something which was, you know, it just

1091
00:54:56,640 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 1: feels so uncomfortable and that I really relate to. Guess what, Yeah,

1092
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable. There are times in life where it will

1093
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: just be uncomfortable, and that is harder as a young person.

1094
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: You're like, wait, what, Like, how do I fix it?

1095
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: There's no, it's just that ambiguity I know is torture.

1096
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:18,439
Speaker 1: But you gotta reframe and see it as promise for

1097
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 1: the unknown. It's a wonder. God damn, it's cool. You know,

1098
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: we're you know once again, San Francisco could be SANFC.

1099
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: You could live in San Francisco for San Francisco. I

1100
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 1: don't know what really selling Sanford's you should apply you

1101
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 1: should apply to. It's like you're looking down instead of

1102
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: looking up, you know, look up. Yeah. My best friend Liza,

1103
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,360
Speaker 1: we always talk about it, and she's like, you know,

1104
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 1: you would never tell me don't apply to that, You're

1105
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: not good enough. She's like, so why would you say

1106
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: that to yourself. She's like, that's not fair. She's like,

1107
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: you're kind of short. Changing yourself, which is true. Liza

1108
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 1: is correct. Where's Liza? Goddamn she's lovely. You don't even

1109
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 1: call her if you have a line in your life.

1110
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: Listen to Liza. A new podcast coming soon. She's like,

1111
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 1: it's Liza Menela. Actually, so two things. I think the

1112
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: sending out applications is this thing that feels kind of

1113
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 1: like weird and uncomfortable and squishy and weirdly embarrassing. So

1114
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 1: you think somebody's gonna be reading it, and like, uh,

1115
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: you know, making a numbers game. You know, the person

1116
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 1: who's reading this is going through a lot of different stuff,

1117
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: and so they're not gonna unless it's totally egregious. They're

1118
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,760
Speaker 1: not going to be looking at your resume or whatever

1119
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: and be like, oh my gosh, what a joke. So,

1120
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 1: you know, give yourself a number, make it kind of

1121
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 1: low and achievable, whether it's like two or three a week.

1122
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,719
Speaker 1: Just be like, I'm sending out two or three a week.

1123
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: That's all I'm gonna do. And like just making a

1124
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 1: numbers game, and after you get a certain amount of reps,

1125
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 1: it just feels like, Okay, here's another one, here's another one,

1126
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,879
Speaker 1: and that stuff goes away. The other thing, I will say,

1127
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:58,280
Speaker 1: I grew up around lawyers. I know a lot of lawyers.

1128
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 1: My early career was in marketing specifically for lawyers, and

1129
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,919
Speaker 1: I know a lot of very dumb lawyers. You are

1130
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 1: smart enough to be a lawyer. What kind of law

1131
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 1: are you practicing? So you know? The ultimate dream I

1132
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: think would be I made her in history and undergrad

1133
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: and focus on Holocaust studies, war crimes, all of that.

1134
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: So I think the ultimate dream would be international human

1135
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: rights law. Wow, even if that's something that I have

1136
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: to I have to work another job just to do

1137
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 1: that pro bono. That's kind of ultimately where I want

1138
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: to end up. Now, that's cool, that's interesting. I mean,

1139
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: you could do that anywhere in the world. Year Turriffic.

1140
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 1: You're fucking great. I can't wait for your career. You

1141
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 1: have to get in touch with a law Clooney and

1142
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 1: and go do it with her in London. She said,

1143
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 1: she's a human rights lawyer d C. I think you've

1144
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 1: got to get to d C. Yeah, yeah, and she

1145
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 1: was in DC and loved it. Right, let's get you

1146
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 1: to d C. Rights taken away soon anyway, So you

1147
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: get just go straight and work within this own country,

1148
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: you don't know? Yeah, perfect, But anyway, do you feel better?

1149
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have a better outlook on

1150
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 1: this or can start to cultivate one? Yes, for sure.

1151
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: And I think that's why I love your podcast so much.

1152
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: It's just everyone's questions are valid, and so I think,

1153
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: of course I think worrying about that. I was again

1154
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 1: like I feel like it's a champagne problem, Like how

1155
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 1: dare I worry about that when I'm in like this now?

1156
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: But don't even say that stuff to yourself, you know

1157
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: what I mean? You keep a rating yourself. Why am

1158
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 1: I worrying I'm not good enough? And now I'm mad

1159
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: at myself for saying I'm not good enough? Just go, Yeah,

1160
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 1: you just have to. I know I'm saying you just

1161
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: have to. It's it's a process, but you have to

1162
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 1: believe in yourself. You have to know that all of

1163
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 1: these steps are going to lead to something. There's no

1164
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: way that they won't, right, And just every time you

1165
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: have that negative thought, just go uh no and say

1166
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,439
Speaker 1: the opposite thing to yourself. You know, you are going

1167
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: to New York, pretend you're talking to lies, you know, like,

1168
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't say that to fucking Liza, you know,

1169
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 1: so just be a friend to yourself. Yeah, yeah, good, Okay,

1170
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get bumper stickers for that and send it

1171
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: to other think like a man. Well, thank you for

1172
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 1: calling in. Yeah, thank you. I take care and keep

1173
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: us posted. Okay. I will thank you so much again

1174
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 1: by such a female support. Yes, okay, Well we'll take

1175
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be right back to wrap

1176
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: up with Chelsea and like, and we're back with lake Bell.

1177
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: We are concluding our episode today. Yes, Like, do you

1178
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 1: have any advice you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Oh?

1179
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 1: My god, gosh, Chelsea, to be honest with you, I

1180
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,439
Speaker 1: was sitting there looking at you, and I was like,

1181
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: some of your realizations sometimes I think come from plant

1182
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 1: medicine and your kind of openness in and around that,

1183
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,480
Speaker 1: and I really am curious about it. And I wonder

1184
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: what are the prerequisites that you think one needs. I've

1185
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 1: never done and like ayahuasca, and I would be curious

1186
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: if you could give me some advice. Do you take

1187
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 1: mushrooms ever? I micro dose? Yeah, micro dose mushrooms. Mushrooms

1188
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 1: I think are connected. You know, all those psychedelics I

1189
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 1: think are connected. I think plant based medicine is a

1190
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 1: way to open up all sorts of things, right. I mean,

1191
01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm about to do a five gram sit with

1192
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: my friend who's going to guide me of mushrooms. Because

1193
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: the ayahuasca is a special situation and it gives you

1194
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: this you kind of look at your life outside of

1195
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 1: your life. Mushrooms, I think gives you a philosophy and

1196
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 1: you're able to open up and like, get rid of judgment,

1197
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 1: get rid of ego. I'm always trying to get rid

1198
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: of my ego, which is very difficult to do in

1199
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 1: this industry and business. It's almost like futile, it feels.

1200
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: But I think ayahuasca for anyone who's open minded, as

1201
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 1: long as you're not on you know, a bunch of antidepressants.

1202
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: You can't do it on that stuff. I think most

1203
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 1: people have a pretty eye opening awakening experience and you

1204
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: walk away from it definitely different. I mean, iowaska change

1205
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: my relationship with my sister forever and it's never gone

1206
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 1: back to what it was. So I would always be

1207
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:15,919
Speaker 1: an ambassador for anyone who thinks that they are open

1208
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 1: minded enough if you don't mind possibly vomiting, and some

1209
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 1: people ship their pants. So that's not a plus, that's

1210
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 1: a minus. But you know, I always have an advocate

1211
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: for anything that's going to expand your thinking. Right, Yeah,

1212
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: me too. I just I am somewhat in all of

1213
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 1: it and excited by it and curious about it. But

1214
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,160
Speaker 1: I'm a little scared and so I was just that

1215
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: was genuine. Yeah, I think scared is good. Also, you know,

1216
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: it's good for us to do things that scare us.

1217
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: It's good for us to go through that screen of

1218
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 1: fear that we all fear. Like, I don't want to

1219
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: be safe all the time. There's a lot in our

1220
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,800
Speaker 1: lives that are safe, and then there's a lot that

1221
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: are unknown, and it is good to walk through fear.

1222
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 1: I think when, especially when you are feelful of something,

1223
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 1: you get through it, you have a great experience. It

1224
01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 1: makes you want to do more things, you know, it

1225
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 1: makes you want to under standing on a deeper level.

1226
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm always I would say, yes, go for it.

1227
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 1: The only person I've told not to do it is

1228
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 1: Juliana Marketles because I think she's just good as as

1229
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 1: good as she is, Like, she's just set, she doesn't

1230
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:15,439
Speaker 1: need anything, Okay, all right, Well, alright, guys, I will

1231
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 1: take that glass of Ayouaska. Thank you so much. I

1232
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 1: just turned to the wall. Report back. You in the wall,

1233
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:22,960
Speaker 1: report back and let us know how your journey was.

1234
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: Thank you though. That was very that was that was encouraging.

1235
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 1: Al Right, guys, this has been so fun. I just

1236
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 1: feel like this is like sisterhood. I know that was nice.

1237
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: We gave a lot of girls pep talks today. Thank you,

1238
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 1: Lake Bell. I'll see you soon, see you soon. Bye.

1239
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 1: So I'm winding up my stand up tour. Vaccinated and

1240
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 1: Horning is coming to a screeching halt at the end

1241
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: of the year. I have my last dates coming up,

1242
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,479
Speaker 1: and these are the last opportunities. You have to also

1243
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:53,480
Speaker 1: buy merch from the website Chelsea Hamler dot com if

1244
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 1: you want vaccinating Horny Captain's hats that's say We're the

1245
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 1: Captain's now for women only. Our t shirts for men

1246
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 1: and your family that say I'm sorry because they should be.

1247
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 1: I only have a few dates left Wooster, Mass wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania.

1248
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 1: Wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania. There I said it, and then San

1249
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 1: Diego and Riverside, California, and then Baltimore, Maryland, and then

1250
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: my very last date is December in Reading, Pennsylvania. If

1251
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 1: you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can subscribe to

1252
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea. That is our podcast, and you can rate

1253
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 1: us if you want. Yeah, that's a great idea. It

1254
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 1: actually makes a huge difference for this podcast, for any

1255
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: podcast that you like, subscribing giving it a rating actually

1256
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:40,920
Speaker 1: make a huge difference in who all we gets served

1257
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:44,920
Speaker 1: to and helping spread the word. Okay, yeah, yeah, subscribe

1258
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: and and and and comment, yeah, and follow. So if

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Speaker 1: you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email

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Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea

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Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by

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Speaker 1: Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered

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Speaker 1: by Brad Dickert. H