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Speaker 1: I was paid to do nothing for eighty nine days,

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Speaker 1: but today is the deadline.

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Speaker 2: And the company found out. Okayop, this is okayop.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fryt, and we tell

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Speaker 3: the funny of stores on the internet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we do. And I'm wondering, Sam, what's like the

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Speaker 1: worst instance of you forgetting something? Like, what's been the

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Speaker 1: biggest downfall of you for getting something?

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Speaker 3: I put like a couple thousand dollars in this random

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Speaker 3: crypto bank thing, and I had literally like I had

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Speaker 3: a moment last a couple of weeks ago where I

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Speaker 3: was like, I have forgot my keys and I had

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Speaker 3: no idea where it was. Yeah, and then I remember,

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Speaker 3: oh wait, wait, I think I said one of my books.

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Speaker 3: But I had to like go through every single book

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Speaker 3: to find, oh where I had written down these keys

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Speaker 3: on like a post it note, which is not the

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Speaker 3: most safe method, before holding all of my bank details,

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Speaker 3: which is basically what one of these things are. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I totally almost got screwed over. But luckily I found

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Speaker 3: it and I was able to regain that money back.

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Speaker 1: That is good to hear. Yeah, it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: the equival of like the crypto, stuffing the money in

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Speaker 1: the mattress, right, like your keey to the crypto is

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Speaker 1: like about the cash.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, definitely something I shouldn't do, and uh am

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Speaker 3: going to be better about going forward hopefully.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: I have a story about someone who also made a

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Speaker 1: grave mistake, except it wasn't just his own money, it

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Speaker 1: was the company that was at stake.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, those steaks are big.

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Speaker 3: When you're dealing with that fortune, five hundred big old

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Speaker 3: warm buffet business. Daddy's gonna come with his club and

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Speaker 3: a curb stomp, ready to take action.

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Speaker 1: Bigger steaks and a tea bone a baby, let's get

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Speaker 1: into it. I was paid to do nothing for eighty

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Speaker 1: nine days, but today is the deadline, and.

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Speaker 2: The company found out.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, the company found out you were doing your job.

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Speaker 2: Rats foiled again, foiled again.

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Speaker 4: All right.

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Speaker 1: So I've been a student with the public service for

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Speaker 1: about two years now. My position, obviously Maxking specifics, can

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Speaker 1: be best described as a risk analyst, where I'm given

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Speaker 1: fifty to ninety days to review a file, confirm risk

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Speaker 1: slash liability is feasible, and then start drafting the contract.

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Speaker 2: Okay, sounds simple enough.

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Speaker 1: Sound straightforward. The fifty to ninety days depends on the

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Speaker 1: overall value of the work. As a student, I was

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Speaker 1: only seeing the easy, low value workload.

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Speaker 2: With a fifty day expectation.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at my job, and I was able

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Speaker 1: to get it completed in five to ten days and

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Speaker 1: would officially submit around twenty five to thirty days.

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is what the typical government worker does. Wait,

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Speaker 2: so they just chill for it all weeks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, yo, I finish it in five days,

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Speaker 1: but I'll give it to you in a month.

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Speaker 3: Wow. That is some expert laziness right there, dude, extremely

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Speaker 3: expert laz I'm glad our government is in such good hands.

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Speaker 3: Government efficiency maybe Now, I thought this was a fantastic

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Speaker 3: plan as I was consistently getting praise for my team

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Speaker 3: for how hard I work. Wow, he's literally doing it

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Speaker 3: so late and consistently getting praise. I love like that

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Speaker 3: is the bar is set so low for government work

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Speaker 3: that you can sit on your ass for two weeks

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Speaker 3: and get paid and people praise you for it.

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Speaker 4: Dude.

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Speaker 1: Rough, Now, the work here is not difficult in any

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Speaker 1: way even worse than only does he not work for

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Speaker 1: two weeks, but the work isn't hard, it's not difficult,

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Speaker 1: but it is extremely tedious. For example, tomorrow is likely

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Speaker 1: to consist of three to four hours of hard labor

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Speaker 1: of looking at memes and scrolling through Reddit, and then

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Speaker 1: one hour of actually working, which is eventually extended into

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Speaker 1: a lunch, and then going home early. The one hour

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Speaker 1: still gives me enough time to be productive for the

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Speaker 1: day and submit a few things to my team. Now

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Speaker 1: let's go over the f up from earlier this morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm ready for it.

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Speaker 1: Almost four months ago I was offered a full time

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Speaker 1: intermediate contract with the same team, which I gladly accepted.

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Speaker 1: This just meant that I would receive a similar workload,

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Speaker 1: but with higher values. So you know, it's not as

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Speaker 1: much the you know, low value stuff anymore.

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Speaker 3: Ah wait, so he's going to get the exact same

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Speaker 3: amount of workload, but he's just going to have more

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Speaker 3: time to do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this, just like if I f it up,

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Speaker 1: it's it's monumentally important. Before it mattered in my head,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking fantastic, higher value equals more time to

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Speaker 1: f around.

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Speaker 2: And get paid for it.

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Speaker 3: But rah oh Pea's of mind is uh is not

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Speaker 3: built for employment.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it is. Maybe honestly, what do well?

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Speaker 1: This was certainly not the case this morning as I

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Speaker 1: entered work.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, six forty five am.

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Speaker 1: I walk in and get weird stanky eyes for my

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Speaker 1: entire team, leading into the director's office.

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Speaker 2: Seven am.

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Speaker 1: Finish unpacking my computer files and go for my coffee

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Speaker 1: as per usual. Right seven fifteen am, I get called

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Speaker 1: into the director's office. Let's call him director Jim. Jim

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Speaker 1: and I have spoken maybe twice in all of two years.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Jim is not very active in the office,

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Speaker 3: even imagining everyone just sitting on their ass like twenty

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Speaker 3: four to seven. Yeah, government work, baby needs to be

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Speaker 3: done twice or not at all.

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Speaker 4: Yes, Jim, Good morning everyone, Opie, did you forget something yesterday?

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Speaker 3: I love like I'm imagining. It's just like a massive

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Speaker 3: Texan dude. Yeah, who's talent? Uh Dim from Dimdale Limodoons.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's odd, parents, but that he is even better. Yes,

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Speaker 3: he's a cartoon, but it works for this. Yes, I'm

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Speaker 3: trying my hardest to think. Umm no, I replied.

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Speaker 4: Jim asked again, are you dang diddli sure you didn't

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Speaker 4: forget something?

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Speaker 1: And naturally I start to panic, What the f could

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Speaker 1: I have forgotten? Why is he asking me twice? Why

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Speaker 1: is he even talking to me? Oh no, I asked

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Speaker 1: him if I could go get my notebook because I

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Speaker 1: track everything there and I don't really have the specifics

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Speaker 1: in my head.

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Speaker 2: He refuses and says file xx three. Did you forget

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Speaker 2: you were a signed file x x three not xx three.

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Speaker 2: The double x x marks the spot that you didn't

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Speaker 2: realize that you had to mark.

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Speaker 1: Sucker awkward silence for me because there was this file

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Speaker 1: assigned to me right around the time my full contract signing,

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Speaker 1: and that was one of the highest value files of

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Speaker 1: them all.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, so Op is messing up on literally the

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Speaker 3: super Bowl of government projects, all the file.

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Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. I was given eighty days to

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Speaker 1: complete this when it was assigned, but the deadline is

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Speaker 1: today at two pm.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you better work fast, Op.

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Speaker 4: Jim, go get girl up topper now, boy boy, I

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Speaker 4: want to see you why you got and who I

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Speaker 4: can assign to clean up this nonsense mess.

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Speaker 1: This is also extremely awkward because yes, technically I didn't

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Speaker 1: forget about it, but what I couldn't admit was that

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Speaker 1: the file was actually completely done, Like done done?

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Speaker 2: What? Wait? How?

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Speaker 1: Jim starts asking me what I even do all day,

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Speaker 1: threatening to get the IT department to see my browsing

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Speaker 1: history and internet activity.

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Speaker 2: No, oh, no, no.

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Speaker 1: At this point he's gone from his normal pale white

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Speaker 1: cal himself to red in the face, pacing back and forth.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 1: I asked Jim not to involve any of my colleagues,

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Speaker 1: as I assured him I could clean up this mess myself.

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Speaker 1: I get to my laptop and quickly make a new

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Speaker 1: folder for Jim to see, titled XX three. He opens

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Speaker 1: it and it contained just the initial documents my office

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Speaker 1: needs to start a file, but nothing more. So basically

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Speaker 1: like the beginnings of it, but not the whole thing.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: He lays into me, asking what I've been doing for

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Speaker 1: the last seventy nine days.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, nothing, nothing, nothing.

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Speaker 1: OFI says, this is a fair question, I asked myself

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Speaker 1: often to be honest, and Jim also said if I

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Speaker 1: don't have this completed by two pm, he will.

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Speaker 2: Terminate me as I am still on probation. Oh no,

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Speaker 2: the job's on the line.

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Speaker 1: Dude, everything's on the line now.

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Speaker 3: Like I said, the entire file from start to finish

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Speaker 3: is already complete.

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Speaker 2: So what's missing?

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Speaker 1: You might ask the necessary approvals and signatures for my

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Speaker 1: team leader and Jim, the director of our office.

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Speaker 2: Oh so he's fine, So he just needs to get

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Speaker 2: the signatures.

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Speaker 1: These signatures usually take a week to get and are

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Speaker 1: required before moving on to finalizing and posting in our system.

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Speaker 1: I finished this entire MOFO in early October, one week

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Speaker 1: after it was.

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Speaker 2: Assigned to me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, but I completely forgot to submit the

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Speaker 1: individual documents as I progressed with it, and that eventually

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Speaker 1: led to me completely forgetting all about it. Now, the

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Speaker 1: thing is like, actually, like op was an overachiever. It

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Speaker 1: was an overachieved That's why he forgot. But here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: If he tells him that, then it blows his cover.

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Speaker 1: Then they know that the whole time he was doing

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Speaker 1: these like five days and then sitting on them the

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Speaker 1: whole time. So that's why I couldn't shown the original files.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, now here we are on Reddit posting about

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Speaker 1: my f up as opposed to actually submitting my own work.

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Speaker 2: So he's literally writing this in the middle of the chaos.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god, he's writing it in

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Speaker 3: real time while his boss is yelling at him.

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Speaker 1: For real, it's been almost ninety minutes since and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm panicking, bru, get back to your work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have no clue what to do right now. Do

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Speaker 1: I submit the entire file now to Jim for his signature,

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Speaker 1: completed top to bottom and own my dishonest action, or

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Speaker 1: submit one doc every thirty minutes to seem like it

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Speaker 1: all went out today to get.

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Speaker 3: It completed by two pm. Man, Wow, wow, and there

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Speaker 3: is an updates. Oh wait, there's an updates so we

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Speaker 3: get to see what happened.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I took the.

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Speaker 1: Wise advice from many of you and submitted everything with

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Speaker 1: an apology, so he basically decided to blow his cover

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Speaker 1: for his lax work style. Jim called me back into

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Speaker 1: his office a few minutes after submitting and I explained

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Speaker 1: how I lost track of time. He signed everything and

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Speaker 1: let me leave with a handshake. Thank you for all

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Speaker 1: the assistants, as I would have just continued panicking. Came

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Speaker 1: here to bench, but got a lot of useful advice. Wow,

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Speaker 1: they literally gave him the solution.

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Speaker 3: That's amazing. That's amazing. Shout out to Reddit for actually

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Speaker 3: helping with life advice.

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Speaker 1: That's aw and that's so crazy, like literally in real time,

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Speaker 1: people came together and he's like, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do it this way. Thanks, guys, that's pretty I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do that next time I.

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Speaker 2: Run in here.

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Speaker 3: You read it for helping us solve our life problems.

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Speaker 3: But you know what else can solve your life problems?

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Speaker 4: Ooh?

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Speaker 3: Subscribing to okay opy, subscribe on YouTube, follow us and

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Speaker 3: Spotify and TikTok. If you want to be a real one,

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Speaker 3: port us on Patreon because you get to talk to

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Speaker 3: us on our discord channel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you do.

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Speaker 1: Join the family casey z Neiforious, Devine Muhammad, Amanda Wilcoms,

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Speaker 1: Connor Desiree, Keegan Simmons, and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 2: See us soon.