WEBVTT - Miss May

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<v Speaker 1>Misspelling with Tory spelling an iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>It's May, you guys, it's a huge month for me.

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<v Speaker 2>Well it was a huge month. It's still a huge month.

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<v Speaker 2>So anyway, let me jump right in. I would always

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<v Speaker 2>tell Dean that he didn't plan on this, but when

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<v Speaker 2>we got together and decided to get married May seventh,

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<v Speaker 2>we eloped, planned a whole wedding by ourselves on a

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<v Speaker 2>private highland in Fiji. Oh it was so good. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>We didn't think long term. We were just like in

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<v Speaker 2>the moment. So then all of a sudden we got pregnant.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. I had a baby a year later ish,

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<v Speaker 2>so Mother's Day became a thing, and then my birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>So I would always be like, hey, buddy, sorry, you're screwed.

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<v Speaker 2>You got three Tory days to deal with, essentially in May,

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<v Speaker 2>and then there's May Day and synco to my own

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<v Speaker 2>things like that. But so anyway, this never really was

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<v Speaker 2>something I thought about, because it's just, you know, wheels

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<v Speaker 2>in motion, you go along. We were married eighteen years

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<v Speaker 2>until no joke. Two days ago one of my best friends,

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<v Speaker 2>Bill Gunkle. Bill said to me, oh, he's an organizer.

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<v Speaker 2>He likes a good cleanup of his calendar. He said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I just realized I'm able to remove May seventh, your

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<v Speaker 2>wedding anniversary from my calendar, and that that kind of

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<v Speaker 2>hit me and I was like, oh, wow, yeah, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>obviously I felled for divorce. Obviously we're getting a divorce,

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<v Speaker 2>but I hadn't thought about that, and I was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>that maya like May seventh is just going to be

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<v Speaker 2>another day from now on. And that made me kind

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<v Speaker 2>of think about a lot of things. And I was

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<v Speaker 2>that girl that took a lot of pride in anniversaries

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<v Speaker 2>like our wedding anniversary was you know me, I'm if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't know me, welcome to me. I'm a di wire.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a crafter to the core. All my kids came

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<v Speaker 2>out of you to row crafting because I made them.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, so I would always make something for Dean

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<v Speaker 2>on our wedding anniversary because you know, I mean, obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, anyone can buy someone something allegedly, but if

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<v Speaker 2>you can, that's very nice. But I feel like I

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<v Speaker 2>always say homemade equals love and it you know, whether

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<v Speaker 2>that's in the past, the present, or the future. I

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<v Speaker 2>still maintain that and I'm more of a traditional girl. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, shot right, with a lot of modern values.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm kind of like fifty to fifty no pun intended,

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm half fifty's housewife and half like futuristic like barbaralla,

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<v Speaker 2>and I would always go to there's a traditional list

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<v Speaker 2>so you can like google this traditional wedding anniversary presence

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<v Speaker 2>and then a modern one, which I don't know when

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<v Speaker 2>that all separated, Like when did someone say, hey, we're

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<v Speaker 2>going to throw in like a new wedding anniversary. This

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<v Speaker 2>is the modern one, Like what's wrong with the traditional one?

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<v Speaker 2>Like well, if a name broke, well I fix it.

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<v Speaker 2>But anyway, it gave me options, So that was always

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<v Speaker 2>good because some years I was like, ooh, I can

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<v Speaker 2>craft something with that, and some years I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>not so great on the traditional, let me check the modern.

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<v Speaker 2>But every year I would make him something and super proud,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm talking like one year it was leather, so

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<v Speaker 2>I made him like a leather cuff and had it

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<v Speaker 2>stamped in like our anniversary ran the back and just

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<v Speaker 2>like a really cool thing. One year. I know this

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<v Speaker 2>because I just found it in storage recently, you know

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<v Speaker 2>my storage woes. That's a good one and so storage

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<v Speaker 2>wars my storage woes. Rthan add that to the list

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<v Speaker 2>for something to make in the future. Cool. I found

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<v Speaker 2>a bench that I made him and no joke. I well,

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<v Speaker 2>my friend Chris came over and helped me. I have

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<v Speaker 2>to give a credit where credit is due. But I

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<v Speaker 2>went to the lumberyard. And I don't know why I

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<v Speaker 2>had to say it like that, because woman can go

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<v Speaker 2>to the lumberyard too and be like, I'm at the lumberyard.

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<v Speaker 2>But I went to the lumberyard and got really cool

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<v Speaker 2>pieces of wood. Sorry, and made the bench. Took a

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<v Speaker 2>stencil and wrote on it, I want to grow old

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<v Speaker 2>with you or something. Look, I'm conveniently like blocking it

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<v Speaker 2>out because it hurts, but it doesn't hurt. I done inside,

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<v Speaker 2>but it fine. I have feelings. Anyone jump out?

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<v Speaker 3>How big was the bench? Like? Could one person sit

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<v Speaker 3>on it or multiple?

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<v Speaker 2>Or it was supposed to be a bench for two.

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<v Speaker 2>And the inspiration behind it was, you know, you see

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<v Speaker 2>those cute old couple sitting on a bench and oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, I'm tearing up. I do have feelings. Look

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<v Speaker 2>at that chickxus. The intention was that all these beautiful

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<v Speaker 2>babies we had created together they would go on to

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<v Speaker 2>have families of their own. And I am always and

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<v Speaker 2>will remain always excited to grow our family because you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, at the end of the day, he and

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<v Speaker 2>I and our kids were a family unit. He's the father.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, whether we're married and together or not, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we're all in this together. And excited to be a

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<v Speaker 2>grandmother and a great grandmother and yeah, and watching our

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<v Speaker 2>family grow and grow and grow. I mean, we got

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<v Speaker 2>five kids, so I better have a lot of fun.

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<v Speaker 3>A big bench.

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<v Speaker 2>No, the benching for them. M the bench isn't for them.

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<v Speaker 2>The bench was for he and I to sit on

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<v Speaker 2>it together. Like those photos you see of like old

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<v Speaker 2>couples still holding hands. We used to send pictures to

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<v Speaker 2>each other with like old couples you would see and

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<v Speaker 2>like still holding hands, and it's like wow, And we did.

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<v Speaker 2>We always held hands. That was like a thing, except

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<v Speaker 2>except in like the last year or two. I guess,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess. Yeah, that was one of the one of

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<v Speaker 2>the signs there were fifty million. But yeah, like you

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<v Speaker 2>would see those couples in their eighties, like still walking

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<v Speaker 2>down the street holding hands. I mean they just otherwise

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<v Speaker 2>would fall down. They had to support each other. They

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't walk straight without each other. But nonetheless, I bought

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<v Speaker 2>into the love story and I was like, oh my gosh,

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<v Speaker 2>that's so cute. Like we'd see, you know, pictures of

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<v Speaker 2>couples like at the beach and just like doing things

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<v Speaker 2>and just still, you know, in it.

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<v Speaker 3>So you made the bench? Was that like with hammer

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<v Speaker 3>and nails or was it glued together.

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<v Speaker 2>Or I screwed it in? I had nails. It was

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<v Speaker 2>stable as fuck, like that impressive. We'll till it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>it broke?

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<v Speaker 3>What other things did you make besides the match for

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<v Speaker 3>your anniversaries?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I made there's a specific name for it,

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<v Speaker 2>when you make a tray that you put your like

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<v Speaker 2>jewelry or men put their their watch. I made him

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<v Speaker 2>a Valet tray. And I got a tray and I

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<v Speaker 2>went round this took a while, and found pennies from

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<v Speaker 2>the year he was born nineteen sixty six, the year

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<v Speaker 2>I was born nineteen seventy three, and the year we

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<v Speaker 2>were married two thousand and six. And I got those

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<v Speaker 2>pennies and I glued them and mod podge the shit

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<v Speaker 2>out of that. Oh god, I'm a good mod podger.

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<v Speaker 2>I had to get back into that. That was my

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<v Speaker 2>strong suit. And I made this tray that was just

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<v Speaker 2>very functional, like it was all blacked and shit. He

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<v Speaker 2>appreciated all the gifts I made him, but yeah, that

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<v Speaker 2>was a good one. Leather cuff. If you tell me

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<v Speaker 2>one of the traditional ones, I can tell you what

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<v Speaker 2>I made.

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<v Speaker 3>Him, paper metal, gold, silver.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm blanket, I've got nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh m.

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<v Speaker 2>The brass cockering was really good that year. That's really

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<v Speaker 2>I hammered it. Oh my god, I'm so talented. Welded

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<v Speaker 2>it well. Wow, going back to the bench, it says

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<v Speaker 2>grow old with me dot dot dot. Yeah. On the

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<v Speaker 2>legs were our wedding date, and then on the other

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<v Speaker 2>leg was are the current date. And we put it

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<v Speaker 2>in each house. We moved a lot, a lot because

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<v Speaker 2>I was always chasing the dream. Like you know, it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't us, it wasn't the relationship. It was the house.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that reminds me of a horror film. It's not

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<v Speaker 2>the house, it's your son. Ooh, insidious one. Fuck yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I nailed it, still got it, thank you. So that

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<v Speaker 2>resonated like every horror film. It wasn't the house, it

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<v Speaker 2>was never the house. So I kept moving and kept moving,

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<v Speaker 2>and let's start where it all began. When we got married.

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<v Speaker 2>We were filming my series So Notorious, and Diana and

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<v Speaker 2>I got together while we were filming that, and anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>the set designer helped me create this amazing like iron

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<v Speaker 2>stand with a cute plaque that said McDermott Baby Farm

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<v Speaker 2>established two thousand and six. The day we got married,

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<v Speaker 2>I was a farm. I was like, pull pushing them out.

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<v Speaker 2>Mine's the push, ripping that zipper open, taking them out.

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<v Speaker 2>So we put that and moved that so many times

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<v Speaker 2>until I mean it was weathered and cracked and just

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<v Speaker 2>the demise of that. Yeah. But the bench, the bench

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<v Speaker 2>survived till it fell to pieces. It got rained on.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't think of that that the rain would wear

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<v Speaker 2>on it. It rusted, it broke, you guys. That's I

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<v Speaker 2>guess what the heart of it is is that it broke.

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<v Speaker 2>And when it broke, I put too much emotional symbolism

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<v Speaker 2>and placement on. As Dean has told me in adamant objects.

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<v Speaker 2>At some point it just was getting wobbly, it was

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<v Speaker 2>getting shaky, and I was like the bench and we'd

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<v Speaker 2>moved in. He's like, oh, the bench is a little wobbly.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, we got to fix it. We

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<v Speaker 2>got to fix it, and we never fixed it, so

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<v Speaker 2>eventually it broke. Oh I kept it though, I kept

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<v Speaker 2>the wood pieces, of course I did, saying I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to put it back together, and then sat in the

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<v Speaker 2>garage in pieces for a few years, like my marriage basically,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I found in storage.

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<v Speaker 3>So and what did you do with it?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh? Duh? I took a picture of it to show

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<v Speaker 2>to you, guys. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I mean, did you do you still have it?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you throw the pieces away? Is it sitting in

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<v Speaker 1>that last storage lockery still at.

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<v Speaker 2>I have no storagelockers, so I'm done that you've.

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<v Speaker 3>Had one left?

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<v Speaker 2>Nope?

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<v Speaker 3>Congratulations, thank you?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, my heart just sink. I'm panic now.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know where it is. I feel like you, guys,

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<v Speaker 2>I need to burn it. No, no, don't burn it.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you not do that?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I think the metaphor is better now

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<v Speaker 3>without burning it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, it's metatorical.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's what I think you should do if you can

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<v Speaker 1>find it, is take a little piece of that wood

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<v Speaker 1>and put it in like a box picture frame, and

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<v Speaker 1>just as a keepsake, you know, a piece a piece

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<v Speaker 1>of the bench.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think you need to burn it. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>you guys are on good terms.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, I didn't mean, uh, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>why I'm gonna cry. I didn't mean burn it like

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<v Speaker 2>bad for him. I mean burning it as a symbolism

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<v Speaker 2>of letting go right past and moving on at the

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<v Speaker 2>future is not what you do.

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<v Speaker 3>I think you can totally do that.

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<v Speaker 1>What matters is if the symbolism means something to you, right,

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, if that to you means moving on, letting

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<v Speaker 1>it go, then it will would probably be a good

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<v Speaker 1>thing for.

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<v Speaker 2>You to do. Well, I'm not going to grow old

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<v Speaker 2>with him.

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<v Speaker 1>So well you you know what you kind of are

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<v Speaker 1>just not as a married couple. You know, you're still

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<v Speaker 1>you're still tied by five amazing children. So it's just

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<v Speaker 1>a different kind of growing up.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like regular ties. Can we double not it?

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<v Speaker 3>You will find somebody, Oh my god, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Guys every week this is not going to be about me, like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh no, poor me, I'm alone and single. Oh, or

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<v Speaker 2>it can be. I mean, I don't know. Can we

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<v Speaker 2>go back to it for a second, Yeah, can we

0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.560
<v Speaker 2>look up what would have been? Just tell me what

0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 2>it would have been. I'll tell you what I'd make.

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:37.680
<v Speaker 3>Hit year would this have been?

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 2>This would be eighteen? Correct, eighteen. I always say we

0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:46.440
<v Speaker 2>were married eighteen years, but technically I'm not divorced yet,

0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:52.240
<v Speaker 2>so it's not final. So true, I wasn't lying. Parcelain porcelain.

0:14:53.640 --> 0:15:03.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh good teeth. Here you go, buddy, I'm gonna make

0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:06.760
<v Speaker 2>a necklace out of them. How woud his girlfriend feel

0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 2>about that? If you ever loved me, you won't wear

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:20.200
<v Speaker 2>my porcelain teeth around your neck? Five of them for

0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:23.240
<v Speaker 2>the five beautiful kids we made. How can you say

0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:27.360
<v Speaker 2>no to that? Sorry, Lily, you know I love you. Okay,

0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:35.440
<v Speaker 2>we had a vow renewal at four years in. I mean,

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:40.720
<v Speaker 2>granted it was we did it on our reality show

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Torri and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood. But that's crazy now.

0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:52.720
<v Speaker 2>I call it the bowel removal. By the way, unpacking.

0:15:53.000 --> 0:16:00.880
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of unpacking from storage, my daughter Stella brings in

0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:09.280
<v Speaker 2>a box. This just happened yesterday and she goes, of course,

0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:14.640
<v Speaker 2>she's sassy, God, she's so clever, and she goes, I

0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:18.000
<v Speaker 2>unpacked this box, and I was like, oh, this is

0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:22.240
<v Speaker 2>not coming into the house. So she led with that,

0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:25.720
<v Speaker 2>which crushed my soul. I was like, that's an antique.

0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.400
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean. I got that at a flea market.

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:33.520
<v Speaker 2>That's very chic. And anyway, I digress, and she goes

0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 2>and then I opened it. You guys, the thing she

0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:40.160
<v Speaker 2>found in this box, I can't make this shit up.

0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:44.720
<v Speaker 2>First of all, oh my god, it was like a

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.880
<v Speaker 2>paperback flip through book of nine oh two one oh,

0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.119
<v Speaker 2>like a small one from the nineties.

0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:57.080
<v Speaker 2>It was an intact fully wrapped bubblegum pack of our

0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:01.040
<v Speaker 2>cards and bubblegum, which she asked if they could like

0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.960
<v Speaker 2>do some like challenge and eat it, and I was

0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.560
<v Speaker 2>like nope. And I was like, I have to get

0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:08.480
<v Speaker 2>new teeth. I don't want you guys to as well.

0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:13.119
<v Speaker 2>That's that's gonna be hard. Two of them. Wonder how

0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:14.280
<v Speaker 2>much I could sell those for.

0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 3>That's definitely a collector's I.

0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:23.679
<v Speaker 2>Know, like a polaroid photo from a photo shoot. Nino

0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:28.439
<v Speaker 2>two and o still intact a bag of teeth.

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 1>No, we have made a bag of teeth, real teeth,

0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:35.920
<v Speaker 1>a bag of teeth.

0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 2>So it's like, oh sentimental Nino two and o oh,

0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.320
<v Speaker 2>look at that picture. Oh my god, you look so

0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:48.639
<v Speaker 2>great anyhow, and then the bag of teeth and she

0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:52.800
<v Speaker 2>was like, mom, what are these? And I was like, oh,

0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:56.720
<v Speaker 2>those are my wisdom teeth and she goes, that's disgusting.

0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.320
<v Speaker 2>Can I throw these away? I was like absolutely not.

0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:03.000
<v Speaker 2>And she goes, what are you gonna do with them?

0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.600
<v Speaker 2>When'd you get your wisdom teeth out? And I was like,

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:11.600
<v Speaker 2>uh sixteen. She goes, that's disgusting. Yeah, root and all

0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:18.240
<v Speaker 2>all four perfectly intact. Might I add, oh, correction, those

0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.119
<v Speaker 2>I will send to Dean because mine are all shaved

0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:26.320
<v Speaker 2>to nubs because I'm getting finnars owed to my creepy past. Okay,

0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go on. This is my twenties from my

0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:34.720
<v Speaker 2>first TV movie I did in Canada. This is when

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.760
<v Speaker 2>like they had smoke shops, but like La, it wasn't

0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:42.160
<v Speaker 2>a thing. And I got like the coolest Oh my god,

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 2>it's a cube and it's metal and it's like a

0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:48.639
<v Speaker 2>one hit. Back then we'd say pot. Now it's like

0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:51.480
<v Speaker 2>weed and it was a cube and I was like, Aha,

0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:55.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna come back to LA and invent this because

0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>no one has it in the States. Another thing I

0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:03.440
<v Speaker 2>put on my checklist of inventions. But she was like mom,

0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:08.640
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, whoa, it was the nineties, Like yeah,

0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:11.560
<v Speaker 2>mom had like a little bit of a stoner phase,

0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Like sorry, there was that, and what else. There was

0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:21.160
<v Speaker 2>a couple more creepy things that I was just like, yeah, oh,

0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I know what. It was a G string. It was clean.

0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.160
<v Speaker 2>I did a smell test. It was clean. You guys.

0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:30.000
<v Speaker 2>I went, it's a little musty. It's been there for years.

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.840
<v Speaker 2>But I was like, oh my god, this is back

0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:36.879
<v Speaker 2>when it was super cool, Like this is so old

0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:41.760
<v Speaker 2>school but vs. Victoria's Secret PS. When I was young,

0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:46.240
<v Speaker 2>Victoria's Secret was super popular and then for decades it

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.399
<v Speaker 2>was like like you couldn't wear it. It was like

0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:53.359
<v Speaker 2>not cool, and now it's totally cool with the kids again.

0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:58.520
<v Speaker 2>So my initials on brand, but it had a BS

0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:00.159
<v Speaker 2>on it, and I was like, oh, that's okay you

0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:02.240
<v Speaker 2>and I saved it, and so I was in there.

0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, collectively like nine two one zero, like old

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:12.199
<v Speaker 2>school bubblegum teeth that had been ripped out, basically a

0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:16.959
<v Speaker 2>weed pen from the nineties and an old pair of

0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:23.199
<v Speaker 2>underwear creeped out. My kid, not gonna lie, not surprised,

0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:27.439
<v Speaker 2>and she wanted to dispose of all this and I

0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:29.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, nope, nope, we want to take a picture

0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:33.600
<v Speaker 2>of this content. I don't know what I'll do with

0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:46.440
<v Speaker 2>it all, but anyway, anyway, yes, and then there's Mother's Day.

0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:52.160
<v Speaker 2>This is my first single girl Mother's Day? What does

0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:54.919
<v Speaker 2>that mean? Like, I don't even know what that means?

0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:58.919
<v Speaker 2>And Stella, bless her heart, she was like, Mom, what

0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:01.000
<v Speaker 2>do you want to do for Mother's And I was like,

0:21:01.560 --> 0:21:04.760
<v Speaker 2>whatever you guys want. She's like, no, Mom, seriously, every

0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:07.560
<v Speaker 2>year you always say whatever we want, Like what do

0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:14.439
<v Speaker 2>you want? Take everybody out of the picture? What do

0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.400
<v Speaker 2>you like to do for fun? And I had no answer,

0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:23.720
<v Speaker 2>you guys? And that was that was startling because I

0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:27.199
<v Speaker 2>couldn't remember what I used to like to do for me.

0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:32.119
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't even think of it. I was like and

0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I kept saying, we wi we like sushi, and she's like, Mom,

0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:42.560
<v Speaker 2>you she was like, do you want to go get

0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:45.000
<v Speaker 2>a massage? And I was like no, no, no, no, it's

0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:48.280
<v Speaker 2>about you guys. She's like, no, Mom, it's not like

0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:51.800
<v Speaker 2>you do this every year like you plan and it's

0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 2>about everybody else, Like what do you want? And I

0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:01.360
<v Speaker 2>couldn't remember what I like to do because it's been

0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:05.040
<v Speaker 2>so long that I've thought about doing something for me.

0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:10.159
<v Speaker 2>Ruth Anne, you knew me before I was married and

0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:12.240
<v Speaker 2>had kids. Do you remember what I used to like

0:22:12.320 --> 0:22:12.600
<v Speaker 2>to do?

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:15.440
<v Speaker 1>You really did get a lot of joy out of

0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:20.720
<v Speaker 1>all of your DIY things that you made and cooking.

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I can remember you having. Did you say cooking fun

0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:25.959
<v Speaker 1>baking and cooking?

0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:26.960
<v Speaker 2>Did you say hooking?

0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 3>No, I say cooking.

0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:32.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, you guys, I think I've gone deaf.

0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:36.520
<v Speaker 2>I've had kids screaming in my ear for a long time.

0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:39.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I remember you having a really good time hooking

0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:44.480
<v Speaker 3>some boulevard about three o'clock in the morning. Those were

0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:45.119
<v Speaker 3>good times.

0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:50.080
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean, no, no cooking? I used to

0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:50.960
<v Speaker 2>hook rugs.

0:22:52.119 --> 0:22:56.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh sorry, I'm not as crafty as you are. No.

0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Jen taught me that, Like I can do a lot

0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>of DIY. Jenny taught me. We would sit in her

0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 2>house and she taught me how to hook a rug.

0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:06.679
<v Speaker 2>We went to she took me to Michael's for the

0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:12.359
<v Speaker 2>first time. But yeah, I remember I was so big

0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 2>and dicopoge mm hm. Would you loved it?

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:18.400
<v Speaker 3>And it was nice because it was stuff you did

0:23:18.400 --> 0:23:19.360
<v Speaker 3>with your kids.

0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:22.600
<v Speaker 2>So stop bringing them into this.

0:23:22.880 --> 0:23:26.880
<v Speaker 3>Why they's supposed to be sort of for both of you.

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:28.720
<v Speaker 3>It's the kids celebrating their mom.

0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:35.000
<v Speaker 2>No, okay, interesting, there's two schools of thought. There's some

0:23:35.240 --> 0:23:38.920
<v Speaker 2>moms that literally are like, you know what, I'm in

0:23:38.960 --> 0:23:43.600
<v Speaker 2>this twenty four to seven every day. It's always about you, guys.

0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:47.520
<v Speaker 2>So this is my one day and I want the

0:23:47.600 --> 0:23:51.399
<v Speaker 2>day off. Lorraine, what type of mom? They're both like,

0:23:51.720 --> 0:23:54.680
<v Speaker 2>it's fair, both types of moms like do you want

0:23:54.680 --> 0:23:56.480
<v Speaker 2>to do what the kids want to do and spend

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:59.320
<v Speaker 2>the day with them, or do you want, like, I'd

0:23:59.359 --> 0:24:02.280
<v Speaker 2>love to have some peace and quiet and do something

0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:02.560
<v Speaker 2>for me.

0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:05.920
<v Speaker 4>I want to be this spaw mom, but I I'll

0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:08.639
<v Speaker 4>never be this spaw mom because of my guilt that

0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:11.280
<v Speaker 4>I have no idea why I have. But yes, every

0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:13.400
<v Speaker 4>day for them, even when it's Mother's Day.

0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:20.879
<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately fair and my sentiment is exactly I want to

0:24:20.960 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 2>be that spa mom, which you guys, you know what.

0:24:25.280 --> 0:24:28.439
<v Speaker 2>The spot doesn't work for me. I just everyone's like,

0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:33.680
<v Speaker 2>go get a massage. Speaking of guilt, I can't get

0:24:33.720 --> 0:24:40.200
<v Speaker 2>a massage because I'm so worried the entire time like, oh,

0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:43.879
<v Speaker 2>they're working on me, they're doing something for me. What

0:24:44.040 --> 0:24:47.639
<v Speaker 2>about them? So I engage and ask about their lives

0:24:47.760 --> 0:24:50.159
<v Speaker 2>and then you guys know, like, it's not even about me.

0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:56.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm just this human like energy wise. People end up

0:24:56.520 --> 0:25:03.840
<v Speaker 2>just like about that sounded dirty about their lives, and

0:25:04.280 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I embrace it and I end up giving them advice

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:10.280
<v Speaker 2>and being like, oh my gosh. And then what happened?

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:16.280
<v Speaker 2>And I've had one missus say oh my god, I've

0:25:16.280 --> 0:25:18.719
<v Speaker 2>been doing this for so long, and she as she's crying,

0:25:19.040 --> 0:25:22.080
<v Speaker 2>and she goes, that's a part. She brought up something

0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:25.920
<v Speaker 2>very emotional that she had repressed, and she said, I'm

0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:27.439
<v Speaker 2>so sorry. I have to take a moment. I am

0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:33.320
<v Speaker 2>embarrassed telling you this. And I promptly sat up and

0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:35.720
<v Speaker 2>hugged her and said don't oh my god, don't worry.

0:25:35.760 --> 0:25:38.760
<v Speaker 2>It's safe with me, and like, but I'm that human

0:25:39.520 --> 0:25:42.440
<v Speaker 2>that I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's so quiet.

0:25:42.920 --> 0:25:46.200
<v Speaker 2>And then I've had friends be like no, no, no,

0:25:46.520 --> 0:25:48.840
<v Speaker 2>you can't do that. So when you start a massage,

0:25:49.640 --> 0:25:52.920
<v Speaker 2>you don't you say thank you. You're gracious, and you're like, Okay,

0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:55.119
<v Speaker 2>I've had a hard week. I'm just going to be quiet,

0:25:55.160 --> 0:25:57.360
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, okay, well I can't say that and

0:25:57.600 --> 0:26:02.119
<v Speaker 2>don't engage. You know, you're paying them, you're here, like

0:26:02.280 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 2>they're here and they want to do this, and don't engage.

0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:11.320
<v Speaker 2>So then when I don't engage and don't talk to them,

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:14.040
<v Speaker 2>I sit in my head for like an hour being like,

0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:17.800
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, is she okay? Or and I don't

0:26:18.160 --> 0:26:24.760
<v Speaker 2>like men touching me during a paid massage, so I yeah,

0:26:24.840 --> 0:26:27.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, oh god, I feel so bad. And

0:26:27.480 --> 0:26:29.960
<v Speaker 2>then I start to like go weird places like oh

0:26:30.040 --> 0:26:32.719
<v Speaker 2>my god, I feel so bad, like at least it's me,

0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:37.359
<v Speaker 2>Like imagine like men she has to deal with and

0:26:37.400 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 2>they're hairy and gross and like that type of human.

0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, I go all kinds of crazy places. But

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:48.919
<v Speaker 2>I sit there for an hour, just like tense, and

0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:54.119
<v Speaker 2>then afterwards like are you relaxed, And I'm like absolutely,

0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.320
<v Speaker 2>but I'm not anyway, Spa da mom.

0:26:59.400 --> 0:27:02.359
<v Speaker 3>Anybody gives you a guest certificate for a massage, feel

0:27:02.359 --> 0:27:05.880
<v Speaker 3>free to pass it my way. I can relax during

0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:09.480
<v Speaker 3>a massage, really yeah. I not feel the urge to

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:12.040
<v Speaker 3>talk or think about the massage therapist.

0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, wait, have you my friend? And I just had

0:27:17.880 --> 0:27:21.280
<v Speaker 2>this combo the other day about happy endings. Oh god,

0:27:21.880 --> 0:27:26.439
<v Speaker 2>oh too much for this podcast. Sorry my bad. No

0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:33.920
<v Speaker 2>one ever. We were talking about happy endings and it

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:38.320
<v Speaker 2>was like, wow, this is a male and I were

0:27:38.359 --> 0:27:42.440
<v Speaker 2>talking about this, so I was curious, how do men

0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 2>feel about it? And he was saying like not as

0:27:46.640 --> 0:27:50.880
<v Speaker 2>jam like could never even would not be okay with it.

0:27:51.080 --> 0:27:54.520
<v Speaker 2>But you know, clearly, you know, there's a lot of

0:27:54.560 --> 0:27:58.680
<v Speaker 2>my male friends are like, oh, yeah, that's a thing.

0:27:59.280 --> 0:28:03.199
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, oh, that's so weird. And then he

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:07.000
<v Speaker 2>posts the question to me, does this ever happen these

0:28:07.040 --> 0:28:11.640
<v Speaker 2>happy ending places with a woman? Like do they ever

0:28:11.720 --> 0:28:15.160
<v Speaker 2>give happy endings to a female or is it just males?

0:28:15.720 --> 0:28:17.800
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I don't know, I don't know.

0:28:18.240 --> 0:28:19.919
<v Speaker 3>Definitely not at Burke Williams.

0:28:20.280 --> 0:28:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Burke Williams. Oh you go to fancy places now.

0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:26.879
<v Speaker 3>Burke Williams was like, in the nineties.

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:32.960
<v Speaker 2>You pretended to work out at Crunch? Cool, right, yep? No.

0:28:33.359 --> 0:28:37.000
<v Speaker 2>I remember that I had a boyfriend then and he

0:28:37.280 --> 0:28:40.800
<v Speaker 2>loved Burke Williams. So we would like go to Crunch

0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:43.560
<v Speaker 2>and he'd work out and I'd like pretend to.

0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:49.160
<v Speaker 5>Do the zoom book class or whatever boot camp, and

0:28:49.320 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 5>it would be so embarrassing because they have like glass

0:28:53.040 --> 0:28:57.120
<v Speaker 5>like glass so like everybody.

0:28:56.320 --> 0:29:01.000
<v Speaker 2>Can see correct. And at Crunch in La it's on

0:29:01.080 --> 0:29:05.959
<v Speaker 2>Sunset Boulevard and they would always I'm not even kidding,

0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:10.440
<v Speaker 2>it would be like thirty people in there, and they'd

0:29:10.480 --> 0:29:12.840
<v Speaker 2>have on their headset and they'd be calling to you

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:16.240
<v Speaker 2>to encourage you. They'd always call me out and I'd

0:29:16.240 --> 0:29:20.240
<v Speaker 2>be like, what is happening. They'd be like Toy, and

0:29:20.280 --> 0:29:22.800
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, first of all, you know, I hate

0:29:22.840 --> 0:29:26.800
<v Speaker 2>my name said like toy, but then like I don't know.

0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:30.280
<v Speaker 2>It was yeah, it was late nineties.

0:29:31.040 --> 0:29:34.120
<v Speaker 3>Out to say you've got the steps.

0:29:33.720 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 2>For on or duh, yeah, you know I don't work out.

0:29:37.240 --> 0:29:40.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't do that shit. And I was probably gossip

0:29:40.080 --> 0:29:41.720
<v Speaker 2>being and like talking to my friend. I've been that

0:29:41.720 --> 0:29:49.480
<v Speaker 2>way since like high school anyway, chatty Kathy. But yeah,

0:29:49.520 --> 0:29:52.600
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like it'd be like Toy. I'm like, uh

0:29:52.640 --> 0:29:59.760
<v Speaker 2>huh it was like and they'd be like okay, oh Toy, No,

0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I'll be over in a second. I'd be like so shamed.

0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:06.880
<v Speaker 2>I literally one time it was this boot camp class

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 2>and the instructor had called me out three times and

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:14.600
<v Speaker 2>I literally waited till she was like helping somebody else

0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 2>in the corner, and I slipped out and slip out

0:30:19.200 --> 0:30:24.600
<v Speaker 2>a fucking ran I was like. And then from the

0:30:24.640 --> 0:30:29.719
<v Speaker 2>back she was like, you finally got it right. I

0:30:29.760 --> 0:30:33.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, bye, But I liked the little holes in

0:30:33.600 --> 0:30:36.440
<v Speaker 2>the wall, like the little places that are like in

0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:37.240
<v Speaker 2>a strip.

0:30:37.000 --> 0:30:39.880
<v Speaker 3>Mall where you will get a happy ending.

0:30:41.000 --> 0:30:43.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't want a happy ending, like if I

0:30:43.320 --> 0:30:46.960
<v Speaker 2>feel guilt with them, just like massaging my arm and leg.

0:30:47.520 --> 0:30:50.160
<v Speaker 2>Imagine the guilt I would feel if they were like

0:30:50.240 --> 0:30:53.720
<v Speaker 2>trying to like stroke my lady parts. Do you stroke

0:30:53.840 --> 0:31:00.800
<v Speaker 2>lady parts? If they were too oh my god, jggle

0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:04.520
<v Speaker 2>it just a little bit, not a little bit, a

0:31:04.560 --> 0:31:08.680
<v Speaker 2>lot and you gotta go fast. But whole other story, Yeah,

0:31:08.760 --> 0:31:13.000
<v Speaker 2>I would never be comfortable. But on rare occasion they

0:31:13.040 --> 0:31:17.320
<v Speaker 2>would go near your like butt and like almost too

0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:20.800
<v Speaker 2>close to the thighs. Have you ever had that happen?

0:31:20.880 --> 0:31:25.120
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like Rosen, I was like oooh, But then

0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:26.880
<v Speaker 2>You're like, I don't want to make them feel bad.

0:31:26.960 --> 0:31:30.920
<v Speaker 2>Perhaps this they're getting knots out of muscles, and so

0:31:30.960 --> 0:31:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to freeze up. So I'd be like Relax, relax,

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:38.360
<v Speaker 2>They're doing nothing wrong. This is part of the job. Okay,

0:31:39.120 --> 0:31:42.280
<v Speaker 2>but I was like, whoa kind of close? That's kind

0:31:42.280 --> 0:31:47.440
<v Speaker 2>of close anyway. I am curious if a female has

0:31:47.480 --> 0:31:49.240
<v Speaker 2>ever gotten happy ending.

0:31:50.360 --> 0:31:54.120
<v Speaker 3>All right, this Mother's Day and then your birthday?

0:31:54.360 --> 0:32:01.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, okay, so there's Mother's Day. Ella, of course,

0:32:01.880 --> 0:32:05.760
<v Speaker 2>leader of the pack. She was like, mom, what do

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:08.440
<v Speaker 2>you want to do? I had nothing. I couldn't remember

0:32:08.480 --> 0:32:12.080
<v Speaker 2>what I like, which leads me back to what do

0:32:12.320 --> 0:32:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I like to do? I must have had hobbies before kids,

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:18.320
<v Speaker 2>Like in my twenties, what did I like to do

0:32:19.080 --> 0:32:21.920
<v Speaker 2>besides shop and drink? What did I like to do?

0:32:22.640 --> 0:32:25.120
<v Speaker 2>And rescue dogs? What did I like to do?

0:32:25.800 --> 0:32:27.240
<v Speaker 3>I was going to say rescue dogs?

0:32:27.280 --> 0:32:30.120
<v Speaker 1>I remember you making jewelry. I can think it always

0:32:30.160 --> 0:32:33.760
<v Speaker 1>goes back to you being like super crafty and having

0:32:33.760 --> 0:32:38.160
<v Speaker 1>an amazing artistic imagination and plugging into that that made

0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:38.920
<v Speaker 1>you really happy.

0:32:39.640 --> 0:32:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Someone's like, you should get into pickleball. I love to

0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:47.920
<v Speaker 2>eat pickles. Pickles are a huge We do pickle tastings

0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:50.000
<v Speaker 2>in my house, like every two weeks, I'm not kidding,

0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 2>a new kind of pickle comes out. We're on it,

0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:55.320
<v Speaker 2>and all my kids fall a suit. So if anyone

0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:58.640
<v Speaker 2>wants to send me anything, I would like pickles.

0:32:58.920 --> 0:33:00.560
<v Speaker 3>That's a great idea.

0:33:02.280 --> 0:33:08.440
<v Speaker 2>I should aim higher and caviar. Okay, anyway, what am

0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:10.720
<v Speaker 2>I gonna do? Here's what I told her. I said,

0:33:11.000 --> 0:33:13.040
<v Speaker 2>we used to love but it's still a wee thing.

0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:14.680
<v Speaker 2>But it's something I wanted to do. We haven't been

0:33:14.680 --> 0:33:17.960
<v Speaker 2>in a while because our lives have been chaos. I

0:33:18.000 --> 0:33:22.160
<v Speaker 2>wanted to go down to Little Tokyo and walk around,

0:33:22.840 --> 0:33:25.520
<v Speaker 2>and that's where I have often gotten a lot of

0:33:25.560 --> 0:33:31.800
<v Speaker 2>my inspiration. And I love the fashion district. And you

0:33:31.840 --> 0:33:35.000
<v Speaker 2>know what, I love revolving sushi down there. It's called Cora.

0:33:35.760 --> 0:33:39.600
<v Speaker 2>It's just so fun. Anyway, so do that.

0:33:39.600 --> 0:33:41.800
<v Speaker 3>That sounds like a great thing to do for Mother's Day.

0:33:42.240 --> 0:33:45.320
<v Speaker 2>So I love Oh you guys, I love dim sum.

0:33:45.880 --> 0:33:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh well well there you just come up with some

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:52.360
<v Speaker 1>great ideas. Great great mother's day.

0:33:53.280 --> 0:33:58.760
<v Speaker 2>This podcast multi purpose. Okay, my birthday quickly, let's talk

0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:01.960
<v Speaker 2>about my birthday. You guys, you know I love green,

0:34:02.160 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 2>and green is the color. I'm a Taurus. I'm Tori.

0:34:06.600 --> 0:34:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm a Taurus. I love sushi. Oh we just see exactly.

0:34:14.680 --> 0:34:16.879
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what I love I'll find out I'm

0:34:16.960 --> 0:34:22.840
<v Speaker 2>learning about myself. Who knew me? Anyway? Yeah, so emerald

0:34:22.920 --> 0:34:26.560
<v Speaker 2>is my birthstone, which is not the reason I like green.

0:34:26.960 --> 0:34:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I just love green like Green's always been my jam.

0:34:31.640 --> 0:34:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Obviously I wear a lot of green. So anyway, So

0:34:37.280 --> 0:34:39.120
<v Speaker 2>what do you want to do for your birthday this year?

0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:44.640
<v Speaker 2>Having it be your first birthday as a single woman? Okay,

0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:48.799
<v Speaker 2>so the last two years, this is a fact, I

0:34:48.960 --> 0:34:52.640
<v Speaker 2>have been sick on my birthday. I had bronchitis on

0:34:52.680 --> 0:34:56.520
<v Speaker 2>my forty ninth birthday. Literally stayed in bed. They brought

0:34:56.520 --> 0:34:59.200
<v Speaker 2>the cake into me. I was like, one eye open,

0:35:00.040 --> 0:35:06.000
<v Speaker 2>which one works better with my botox? None? Okay? They

0:35:07.080 --> 0:35:12.280
<v Speaker 2>brought the cake in. I was like so sick. Okay,

0:35:12.400 --> 0:35:16.439
<v Speaker 2>got it? Missed my birthday. My fiftieth birthday, ruth An

0:35:16.560 --> 0:35:21.520
<v Speaker 2>was there. My mother threw a lovely she knows caviars

0:35:21.640 --> 0:35:25.600
<v Speaker 2>like Big Sam. Sorry when you grew up like I did,

0:35:25.600 --> 0:35:30.759
<v Speaker 2>like I was born eating caviar silver spoon. Oh, but

0:35:30.840 --> 0:35:34.520
<v Speaker 2>we got member, we got pearlized spoons. I still have

0:35:34.640 --> 0:35:39.560
<v Speaker 2>it me too, one of my purses. Remember to take

0:35:39.560 --> 0:35:42.839
<v Speaker 2>that out before I sell it, the purse, not the spoon. Mom.

0:35:42.880 --> 0:35:46.800
<v Speaker 2>I would never do that. I love that. But yeah,

0:35:47.040 --> 0:35:49.680
<v Speaker 2>so they had one in Paris. They opened up a

0:35:49.719 --> 0:35:54.840
<v Speaker 2>caviar restaurant bar here and lovely twenty person beautiful table

0:35:55.920 --> 0:36:02.760
<v Speaker 2>all my besties and you guys. Ironically was this massive,

0:36:03.480 --> 0:36:07.520
<v Speaker 2>big potato you guys, I'll send you a picture, you guys,

0:36:09.600 --> 0:36:15.680
<v Speaker 2>topped with the most heaping spoonful of caviar you've ever seen.

0:36:16.400 --> 0:36:20.680
<v Speaker 2>My other one of my other friends jokes, he was like,

0:36:20.840 --> 0:36:24.759
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I don't even eat caviar or potatoes,

0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:28.439
<v Speaker 2>but when I'm being served a thousand dollars potato, I'm

0:36:28.480 --> 0:36:31.919
<v Speaker 2>going deep. WHOA. I don't know where I was going

0:36:31.960 --> 0:36:34.040
<v Speaker 2>with that one. Do you remember that?

0:36:34.160 --> 0:36:34.320
<v Speaker 5>I do?

0:36:35.680 --> 0:36:39.279
<v Speaker 2>And Hansen's my mom, Aw, this was so cute. So

0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Hansen's has been like my family since I was born.

0:36:43.480 --> 0:36:48.600
<v Speaker 2>My mom always every birthday Hanson's cake. She got individualized

0:36:48.680 --> 0:36:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Hanson's cakes for everybody to take home as the party

0:36:52.440 --> 0:36:54.959
<v Speaker 2>gets Hey, ruth Anne, what happened to your Hanson's cake?

0:36:55.520 --> 0:36:59.319
<v Speaker 1>My Hanson's cake ran into a few things somehow, I'm

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:02.359
<v Speaker 1>not quite sure or how it ended up on my glasses.

0:37:03.360 --> 0:37:04.200
<v Speaker 3>In my purse.

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:07.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, it ran into a few things, including your fingers

0:37:07.440 --> 0:37:09.560
<v Speaker 2>and hands. I heard all about this on the ride home.

0:37:09.640 --> 0:37:12.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't today just make you blush.

0:37:12.480 --> 0:37:15.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't think so, just hot.

0:37:17.800 --> 0:37:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Hot flash anyway. Yeah, but my point was it was

0:37:24.200 --> 0:37:28.160
<v Speaker 2>just my big birthday. Wearing green. Of course looked amazing,

0:37:29.120 --> 0:37:31.640
<v Speaker 2>but I was sick. It was right after we had

0:37:31.680 --> 0:37:37.080
<v Speaker 2>the mold poisoning and I was so sick. I was

0:37:37.080 --> 0:37:40.719
<v Speaker 2>on antibiotics. I may I drank through it, but I

0:37:41.719 --> 0:37:45.720
<v Speaker 2>literally I was so sick during that birthday. So fingers

0:37:45.719 --> 0:37:48.880
<v Speaker 2>crossed and put it out there my fifty first birthday,

0:37:49.520 --> 0:37:52.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be well and I'm going to have

0:37:52.960 --> 0:37:58.080
<v Speaker 2>a bomb ass birthday. What are we doing? Nothing planned?

0:37:58.320 --> 0:38:00.839
<v Speaker 2>I know Everyone's like, what do you want to do?

0:38:01.200 --> 0:38:04.359
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, I'm me, I don't know. I hate surprises.

0:38:04.440 --> 0:38:08.680
<v Speaker 2>You guys all know that. You know what. That's old me.

0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:12.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't hate surprises. Surprise me away. Oh god, I

0:38:12.360 --> 0:38:16.279
<v Speaker 2>don't know, but that's that's me. I'm more focused. And

0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:18.719
<v Speaker 2>Memorial Day week and I'm like, three day weekend, what

0:38:18.719 --> 0:38:21.360
<v Speaker 2>do I do for the kids. Oh, it's pool season.

0:38:21.880 --> 0:38:25.919
<v Speaker 3>Like, I don't know, We'll come up with something really

0:38:26.000 --> 0:38:26.920
<v Speaker 3>fun for your birthday.

0:38:27.600 --> 0:38:31.680
<v Speaker 2>Kids can be so manipulative, as you know. I always

0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:34.600
<v Speaker 2>started to see the way that for my kids. I

0:38:34.640 --> 0:38:38.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, Hey, so maybe my birthday or you know,

0:38:38.760 --> 0:38:40.800
<v Speaker 2>one night that week, I'm gonna go out with friends

0:38:40.840 --> 0:38:43.080
<v Speaker 2>and I'll have like a friend night and like go

0:38:43.160 --> 0:38:47.040
<v Speaker 2>and do adult things and you know, go have drinks

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:50.640
<v Speaker 2>and go, you know, like ad night out. And Stella

0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:53.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, you're not going to spend your birthday with us?

0:38:53.160 --> 0:38:56.600
<v Speaker 2>And I was like oh oh, And I was like

0:38:57.040 --> 0:38:59.839
<v Speaker 2>I tried to like justify it as moms do you think?

0:39:00.200 --> 0:39:03.560
<v Speaker 2>And You're like, well, it's a school night, so why

0:39:03.560 --> 0:39:06.000
<v Speaker 2>don't I go out that night and have like my

0:39:06.160 --> 0:39:09.480
<v Speaker 2>fun night out with my friends? And then I was like, baby,

0:39:09.560 --> 0:39:12.360
<v Speaker 2>it's all fun with you guys. And then that weekend

0:39:12.600 --> 0:39:17.120
<v Speaker 2>we'll have a weekend where we're all together. And she's like, okay,

0:39:17.239 --> 0:39:20.520
<v Speaker 2>if that's what you want, I was like, oh, that's

0:39:20.560 --> 0:39:24.799
<v Speaker 2>what I want. Like crap, this sucks, Like what are

0:39:24.800 --> 0:39:28.520
<v Speaker 2>we supposed to do? Like, okay on my birthday? You know,

0:39:30.160 --> 0:39:34.560
<v Speaker 2>this is my next chapter, Like I'm like doing me. Now,

0:39:35.120 --> 0:39:36.680
<v Speaker 2>what am I supposed to do? Like go out with

0:39:36.760 --> 0:39:41.120
<v Speaker 2>my five kids at six o'clock early bird special Chili's cool.

0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:44.160
<v Speaker 2>You guys will all be on the swipe the pad like, oh,

0:39:44.440 --> 0:39:46.960
<v Speaker 2>plant versus zombies, Like, no one will look at me.

0:39:47.360 --> 0:39:52.320
<v Speaker 2>I'll sit there sipping on my sake soke wishful thinking

0:39:53.040 --> 0:39:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Chili's ough. Great, I'll have to have the Sharennkes. They

0:39:56.560 --> 0:39:59.760
<v Speaker 2>don't even have a pinot Grisia. Fuck my life anyway.

0:40:00.360 --> 0:40:02.920
<v Speaker 3>I have the perfect solution.

0:40:04.000 --> 0:40:08.239
<v Speaker 1>Yes, go to one of those places in those minimals

0:40:08.680 --> 0:40:11.720
<v Speaker 1>and get yourself a happy ending for your birthday.

0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Ew no, thank you, No, I don't want that. How

0:40:17.719 --> 0:40:21.520
<v Speaker 2>do you guys feel? Sorry, I'm my tangent. How do

0:40:21.560 --> 0:40:25.440
<v Speaker 2>you guys feel about the new terminology body count?

0:40:25.719 --> 0:40:28.600
<v Speaker 3>I don't know what that is? Wait, what's that?

0:40:32.160 --> 0:40:36.000
<v Speaker 2>I heard this from the teens. Ps. All my teens

0:40:36.040 --> 0:40:40.560
<v Speaker 2>are super like not into this, Like they're very like

0:40:40.800 --> 0:40:48.640
<v Speaker 2>Donna Martin's good for them happy. But there's a thing

0:40:49.080 --> 0:40:54.279
<v Speaker 2>that the teens that aren't virgins say like, oh yeah,

0:40:54.400 --> 0:40:57.440
<v Speaker 2>my body count. Literally I heard body count. It was

0:40:57.480 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 2>like serial killer. I was like, how many bodies have

0:40:59.760 --> 0:41:01.680
<v Speaker 2>you been? I don't know how many people had you killed?

0:41:01.680 --> 0:41:05.560
<v Speaker 2>What the hell? And Stella was like, no, mom, you

0:41:05.680 --> 0:41:09.320
<v Speaker 2>know what that means? Like you're so uncool, like everyone

0:41:09.360 --> 0:41:12.879
<v Speaker 2>says it. It's how many people you've slept with, it's

0:41:12.920 --> 0:41:16.880
<v Speaker 2>your body count, oh dow. Yeah, we used to just

0:41:17.000 --> 0:41:19.880
<v Speaker 2>keep a list, like on paper.

0:41:20.360 --> 0:41:22.799
<v Speaker 3>I don't even want what we did.

0:41:23.280 --> 0:41:25.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know whatever happened to that list, which is

0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:26.560
<v Speaker 1>a little frightening.

0:41:27.040 --> 0:41:31.000
<v Speaker 2>So I was that girl that was like a numbers girl,

0:41:31.239 --> 0:41:34.799
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, I lose my virginity till I

0:41:34.880 --> 0:41:39.360
<v Speaker 2>was over eighteen. And it's like getting my earspurs, like

0:41:39.440 --> 0:41:41.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm not you know, didn't do it till I was eighteen,

0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:45.440
<v Speaker 2>not going to do it till I'm forty. So I cried,

0:41:45.640 --> 0:41:48.919
<v Speaker 2>you guys, I bawled my eyes out when I went

0:41:49.160 --> 0:41:51.919
<v Speaker 2>over one hand, and I'm talking about the number five

0:41:52.400 --> 0:41:55.600
<v Speaker 2>when I had slept with more than five people. I

0:41:55.920 --> 0:42:00.360
<v Speaker 2>cried so hard and was like internally beating myself up

0:42:00.480 --> 0:42:03.560
<v Speaker 2>like I am a whore, Oh my god. And I

0:42:03.640 --> 0:42:06.560
<v Speaker 2>wasn't young. It was spread out through the years, like

0:42:06.840 --> 0:42:10.759
<v Speaker 2>well into my way into my twenties five, and I

0:42:10.800 --> 0:42:14.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, I have had another hand.

0:42:14.800 --> 0:42:20.959
<v Speaker 2>And I was so sad. Now granted, you know men,

0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.839
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's like another notch for my belt. Wait,

0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:26.120
<v Speaker 2>what do they say? Now? I'm sure that's not cool anymore.

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:29.520
<v Speaker 2>Like whatever, like men can sleep. They want to like

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:33.880
<v Speaker 2>up the number like hundreds, you know, and you're like ooh.

0:42:33.920 --> 0:42:37.799
<v Speaker 2>Like girls, I feel like we are just like oh no,

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:40.200
<v Speaker 2>we want the number low. But I hear that's not

0:42:40.280 --> 0:42:44.360
<v Speaker 2>the new generation then, you know, because women are empowered.

0:42:44.360 --> 0:42:47.840
<v Speaker 2>They're like, well you know that's and they're like proud

0:42:47.880 --> 0:42:51.160
<v Speaker 2>of their body count. I'm like, uh uh, I can't

0:42:51.160 --> 0:42:54.960
<v Speaker 2>invest in that, Like why was I talking about this anyway?

0:42:55.160 --> 0:42:57.719
<v Speaker 2>I don't want a happy ending? What else? What else

0:42:57.760 --> 0:43:00.319
<v Speaker 2>can I do for my birthday? I do you guys?

0:43:00.320 --> 0:43:00.680
<v Speaker 5>You know what?

0:43:00.840 --> 0:43:02.279
<v Speaker 2>You know what the truth is. I do want a

0:43:02.280 --> 0:43:05.040
<v Speaker 2>happy ending, and it doesn't involve sex. It doesn't involve

0:43:05.160 --> 0:43:09.759
<v Speaker 2>anything physical. I want my happy ending. I'm not like,

0:43:10.280 --> 0:43:13.080
<v Speaker 2>here's the thing about me. I feel like I never

0:43:13.360 --> 0:43:18.080
<v Speaker 2>am jaded and there's always that like light inside of me. Yeah,

0:43:18.239 --> 0:43:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Jenny calls me Paulianna. She's like, Okay, this positivity, but

0:43:22.200 --> 0:43:26.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a fact, like I can find hope in anything

0:43:26.000 --> 0:43:28.600
<v Speaker 2>and I never get discouraged. And I call it. You

0:43:28.640 --> 0:43:30.879
<v Speaker 2>know a lot of people, I feel like people put

0:43:30.920 --> 0:43:36.040
<v Speaker 2>your fire out. And Dean said something that actually resonated

0:43:36.200 --> 0:43:40.680
<v Speaker 2>in an article. He said he saw my light dim

0:43:40.960 --> 0:43:43.279
<v Speaker 2>that final fight we had before we split up and

0:43:43.320 --> 0:43:46.680
<v Speaker 2>separate it, and I was like, I had to think

0:43:46.719 --> 0:43:49.760
<v Speaker 2>about that one. I was like, wow, he did. Yeah,

0:43:49.800 --> 0:43:54.279
<v Speaker 2>it flickered, it dimmed a little, but it's not going

0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:59.040
<v Speaker 2>out like It's like, I feel like my flame is

0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:04.880
<v Speaker 2>burning brighter than ever inside, and so yeah, I do

0:44:05.080 --> 0:44:09.280
<v Speaker 2>deserve that happy ending. I'm getting there and I'm hopeful

0:44:09.800 --> 0:44:14.120
<v Speaker 2>and I'm going to make it happen. Light it up, bitch,