Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory spelling an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: It's May, you guys, it's a huge month for me.
Speaker 2: Well it was a huge month. It's still a huge month.
Speaker 2: So anyway, let me jump right in. I would always
Speaker 2: tell Dean that he didn't plan on this, but when
Speaker 2: we got together and decided to get married May seventh,
Speaker 2: we eloped, planned a whole wedding by ourselves on a
Speaker 2: private highland in Fiji. Oh it was so good. You know.
Speaker 2: We didn't think long term. We were just like in
Speaker 2: the moment. So then all of a sudden we got pregnant.
Speaker 2: You know. I had a baby a year later ish,
Speaker 2: so Mother's Day became a thing, and then my birthday.
Speaker 2: So I would always be like, hey, buddy, sorry, you're screwed.
Speaker 2: You got three Tory days to deal with, essentially in May,
Speaker 2: and then there's May Day and synco to my own
Speaker 2: things like that. But so anyway, this never really was
Speaker 2: something I thought about, because it's just, you know, wheels
Speaker 2: in motion, you go along. We were married eighteen years
Speaker 2: until no joke. Two days ago one of my best friends,
Speaker 2: Bill Gunkle. Bill said to me, oh, he's an organizer.
Speaker 2: He likes a good cleanup of his calendar. He said, oh,
Speaker 2: I just realized I'm able to remove May seventh, your
Speaker 2: wedding anniversary from my calendar, and that that kind of
Speaker 2: hit me and I was like, oh, wow, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: obviously I felled for divorce. Obviously we're getting a divorce,
Speaker 2: but I hadn't thought about that, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 2: that maya like May seventh is just going to be
Speaker 2: another day from now on. And that made me kind
Speaker 2: of think about a lot of things. And I was
Speaker 2: that girl that took a lot of pride in anniversaries
Speaker 2: like our wedding anniversary was you know me, I'm if
Speaker 2: you don't know me, welcome to me. I'm a di wire.
Speaker 2: I'm a crafter to the core. All my kids came
Speaker 2: out of you to row crafting because I made them.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I would always make something for Dean
Speaker 2: on our wedding anniversary because you know, I mean, obviously,
Speaker 2: you know, anyone can buy someone something allegedly, but if
Speaker 2: you can, that's very nice. But I feel like I
Speaker 2: always say homemade equals love and it you know, whether
Speaker 2: that's in the past, the present, or the future. I
Speaker 2: still maintain that and I'm more of a traditional girl. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, shot right, with a lot of modern values.
Speaker 2: So I'm kind of like fifty to fifty no pun intended,
Speaker 2: like I'm half fifty's housewife and half like futuristic like barbaralla,
Speaker 2: and I would always go to there's a traditional list
Speaker 2: so you can like google this traditional wedding anniversary presence
Speaker 2: and then a modern one, which I don't know when
Speaker 2: that all separated, Like when did someone say, hey, we're
Speaker 2: going to throw in like a new wedding anniversary. This
Speaker 2: is the modern one, Like what's wrong with the traditional one?
Speaker 2: Like well, if a name broke, well I fix it.
Speaker 2: But anyway, it gave me options, So that was always
Speaker 2: good because some years I was like, ooh, I can
Speaker 2: craft something with that, and some years I was like,
Speaker 2: not so great on the traditional, let me check the modern.
Speaker 2: But every year I would make him something and super proud,
Speaker 2: and I'm talking like one year it was leather, so
Speaker 2: I made him like a leather cuff and had it
Speaker 2: stamped in like our anniversary ran the back and just
Speaker 2: like a really cool thing. One year. I know this
Speaker 2: because I just found it in storage recently, you know
Speaker 2: my storage woes. That's a good one and so storage
Speaker 2: wars my storage woes. Rthan add that to the list
Speaker 2: for something to make in the future. Cool. I found
Speaker 2: a bench that I made him and no joke. I well,
Speaker 2: my friend Chris came over and helped me. I have
Speaker 2: to give a credit where credit is due. But I
Speaker 2: went to the lumberyard. And I don't know why I
Speaker 2: had to say it like that, because woman can go
Speaker 2: to the lumberyard too and be like, I'm at the lumberyard.
Speaker 2: But I went to the lumberyard and got really cool
Speaker 2: pieces of wood. Sorry, and made the bench. Took a
Speaker 2: stencil and wrote on it, I want to grow old
Speaker 2: with you or something. Look, I'm conveniently like blocking it
Speaker 2: out because it hurts, but it doesn't hurt. I done inside,
Speaker 2: but it fine. I have feelings. Anyone jump out?
Speaker 3: How big was the bench? Like? Could one person sit
Speaker 3: on it or multiple?
Speaker 2: Or it was supposed to be a bench for two.
Speaker 2: And the inspiration behind it was, you know, you see
Speaker 2: those cute old couple sitting on a bench and oh
Speaker 2: my god, I'm tearing up. I do have feelings. Look
Speaker 2: at that chickxus. The intention was that all these beautiful
Speaker 2: babies we had created together they would go on to
Speaker 2: have families of their own. And I am always and
Speaker 2: will remain always excited to grow our family because you
Speaker 2: know what, at the end of the day, he and
Speaker 2: I and our kids were a family unit. He's the father.
Speaker 2: You know, whether we're married and together or not, you know,
Speaker 2: we're all in this together. And excited to be a
Speaker 2: grandmother and a great grandmother and yeah, and watching our
Speaker 2: family grow and grow and grow. I mean, we got
Speaker 2: five kids, so I better have a lot of fun.
Speaker 3: A big bench.
Speaker 2: No, the benching for them. M the bench isn't for them.
Speaker 2: The bench was for he and I to sit on
Speaker 2: it together. Like those photos you see of like old
Speaker 2: couples still holding hands. We used to send pictures to
Speaker 2: each other with like old couples you would see and
Speaker 2: like still holding hands, and it's like wow, And we did.
Speaker 2: We always held hands. That was like a thing, except
Speaker 2: except in like the last year or two. I guess,
Speaker 2: I guess. Yeah, that was one of the one of
Speaker 2: the signs there were fifty million. But yeah, like you
Speaker 2: would see those couples in their eighties, like still walking
Speaker 2: down the street holding hands. I mean they just otherwise
Speaker 2: would fall down. They had to support each other. They
Speaker 2: couldn't walk straight without each other. But nonetheless, I bought
Speaker 2: into the love story and I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: that's so cute. Like we'd see, you know, pictures of
Speaker 2: couples like at the beach and just like doing things
Speaker 2: and just still, you know, in it.
Speaker 3: So you made the bench? Was that like with hammer
Speaker 3: and nails or was it glued together.
Speaker 2: Or I screwed it in? I had nails. It was
Speaker 2: stable as fuck, like that impressive. We'll till it wasn't
Speaker 2: it broke?
Speaker 3: What other things did you make besides the match for
Speaker 3: your anniversaries?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I made there's a specific name for it,
Speaker 2: when you make a tray that you put your like
Speaker 2: jewelry or men put their their watch. I made him
Speaker 2: a Valet tray. And I got a tray and I
Speaker 2: went round this took a while, and found pennies from
Speaker 2: the year he was born nineteen sixty six, the year
Speaker 2: I was born nineteen seventy three, and the year we
Speaker 2: were married two thousand and six. And I got those
Speaker 2: pennies and I glued them and mod podge the shit
Speaker 2: out of that. Oh god, I'm a good mod podger.
Speaker 2: I had to get back into that. That was my
Speaker 2: strong suit. And I made this tray that was just
Speaker 2: very functional, like it was all blacked and shit. He
Speaker 2: appreciated all the gifts I made him, but yeah, that
Speaker 2: was a good one. Leather cuff. If you tell me
Speaker 2: one of the traditional ones, I can tell you what
Speaker 2: I made.
Speaker 3: Him, paper metal, gold, silver.
Speaker 2: No, I'm blanket, I've got nothing.
Speaker 3: Oh m.
Speaker 2: The brass cockering was really good that year. That's really
Speaker 2: I hammered it. Oh my god, I'm so talented. Welded
Speaker 2: it well. Wow, going back to the bench, it says
Speaker 2: grow old with me dot dot dot. Yeah. On the
Speaker 2: legs were our wedding date, and then on the other
Speaker 2: leg was are the current date. And we put it
Speaker 2: in each house. We moved a lot, a lot because
Speaker 2: I was always chasing the dream. Like you know, it
Speaker 2: wasn't us, it wasn't the relationship. It was the house.
Speaker 2: Oh that reminds me of a horror film. It's not
Speaker 2: the house, it's your son. Ooh, insidious one. Fuck yeah,
Speaker 2: I nailed it, still got it, thank you. So that
Speaker 2: resonated like every horror film. It wasn't the house, it
Speaker 2: was never the house. So I kept moving and kept moving,
Speaker 2: and let's start where it all began. When we got married.
Speaker 2: We were filming my series So Notorious, and Diana and
Speaker 2: I got together while we were filming that, and anyway,
Speaker 2: the set designer helped me create this amazing like iron
Speaker 2: stand with a cute plaque that said McDermott Baby Farm
Speaker 2: established two thousand and six. The day we got married,
Speaker 2: I was a farm. I was like, pull pushing them out.
Speaker 2: Mine's the push, ripping that zipper open, taking them out.
Speaker 2: So we put that and moved that so many times
Speaker 2: until I mean it was weathered and cracked and just
Speaker 2: the demise of that. Yeah. But the bench, the bench
Speaker 2: survived till it fell to pieces. It got rained on.
Speaker 2: I didn't think of that that the rain would wear
Speaker 2: on it. It rusted, it broke, you guys. That's I
Speaker 2: guess what the heart of it is is that it broke.
Speaker 2: And when it broke, I put too much emotional symbolism
Speaker 2: and placement on. As Dean has told me in adamant objects.
Speaker 2: At some point it just was getting wobbly, it was
Speaker 2: getting shaky, and I was like the bench and we'd
Speaker 2: moved in. He's like, oh, the bench is a little wobbly.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, we got to fix it. We
Speaker 2: got to fix it, and we never fixed it, so
Speaker 2: eventually it broke. Oh I kept it though, I kept
Speaker 2: the wood pieces, of course I did, saying I'm going
Speaker 2: to put it back together, and then sat in the
Speaker 2: garage in pieces for a few years, like my marriage basically,
Speaker 2: and then I found in storage.
Speaker 3: So and what did you do with it?
Speaker 2: Uh? Duh? I took a picture of it to show
Speaker 2: to you, guys. I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, I mean, did you do you still have it?
Speaker 1: Did you throw the pieces away? Is it sitting in
Speaker 1: that last storage lockery still at.
Speaker 2: I have no storagelockers, so I'm done that you've.
Speaker 3: Had one left?
Speaker 2: Nope?
Speaker 3: Congratulations, thank you?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, my heart just sink. I'm panic now.
Speaker 2: I don't know where it is. I feel like you, guys,
Speaker 2: I need to burn it. No, no, don't burn it.
Speaker 2: Can you not do that?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think the metaphor is better now
Speaker 3: without burning it.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's metatorical.
Speaker 1: Here's what I think you should do if you can
Speaker 1: find it, is take a little piece of that wood
Speaker 1: and put it in like a box picture frame, and
Speaker 1: just as a keepsake, you know, a piece a piece
Speaker 1: of the bench.
Speaker 3: I don't think you need to burn it. You know,
Speaker 3: you guys are on good terms.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I didn't mean, uh, I don't know
Speaker 2: why I'm gonna cry. I didn't mean burn it like
Speaker 2: bad for him. I mean burning it as a symbolism
Speaker 2: of letting go right past and moving on at the
Speaker 2: future is not what you do.
Speaker 3: I think you can totally do that.
Speaker 1: What matters is if the symbolism means something to you, right,
Speaker 1: It's like, if that to you means moving on, letting
Speaker 1: it go, then it will would probably be a good
Speaker 1: thing for.
Speaker 2: You to do. Well, I'm not going to grow old
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: So well you you know what you kind of are
Speaker 1: just not as a married couple. You know, you're still
Speaker 1: you're still tied by five amazing children. So it's just
Speaker 1: a different kind of growing up.
Speaker 2: I don't like regular ties. Can we double not it?
Speaker 3: You will find somebody, Oh my god, you.
Speaker 2: Guys every week this is not going to be about me, like,
Speaker 2: oh no, poor me, I'm alone and single. Oh, or
Speaker 2: it can be. I mean, I don't know. Can we
Speaker 2: go back to it for a second, Yeah, can we
Speaker 2: look up what would have been? Just tell me what
Speaker 2: it would have been. I'll tell you what I'd make.
Speaker 3: Hit year would this have been?
Speaker 2: This would be eighteen? Correct, eighteen. I always say we
Speaker 2: were married eighteen years, but technically I'm not divorced yet,
Speaker 2: so it's not final. So true, I wasn't lying. Parcelain porcelain.
Speaker 2: Oh good teeth. Here you go, buddy, I'm gonna make
Speaker 2: a necklace out of them. How woud his girlfriend feel
Speaker 2: about that? If you ever loved me, you won't wear
Speaker 2: my porcelain teeth around your neck? Five of them for
Speaker 2: the five beautiful kids we made. How can you say
Speaker 2: no to that? Sorry, Lily, you know I love you. Okay,
Speaker 2: we had a vow renewal at four years in. I mean,
Speaker 2: granted it was we did it on our reality show
Speaker 2: Torri and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood. But that's crazy now.
Speaker 2: I call it the bowel removal. By the way, unpacking.
Speaker 2: Speaking of unpacking from storage, my daughter Stella brings in
Speaker 2: a box. This just happened yesterday and she goes, of course,
Speaker 2: she's sassy, God, she's so clever, and she goes, I
Speaker 2: unpacked this box, and I was like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: not coming into the house. So she led with that,
Speaker 2: which crushed my soul. I was like, that's an antique.
Speaker 2: What do you mean. I got that at a flea market.
Speaker 2: That's very chic. And anyway, I digress, and she goes
Speaker 2: and then I opened it. You guys, the thing she
Speaker 2: found in this box, I can't make this shit up.
Speaker 2: First of all, oh my god, it was like a
Speaker 2: paperback flip through book of nine oh two one oh,
Speaker 2: like a small one from the nineties.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: It was an intact fully wrapped bubblegum pack of our
Speaker 2: cards and bubblegum, which she asked if they could like
Speaker 2: do some like challenge and eat it, and I was
Speaker 2: like nope. And I was like, I have to get
Speaker 2: new teeth. I don't want you guys to as well.
Speaker 2: That's that's gonna be hard. Two of them. Wonder how
Speaker 2: much I could sell those for.
Speaker 3: That's definitely a collector's I.
Speaker 2: Know, like a polaroid photo from a photo shoot. Nino
Speaker 2: two and o still intact a bag of teeth.
Speaker 1: No, we have made a bag of teeth, real teeth,
Speaker 1: a bag of teeth.
Speaker 2: So it's like, oh sentimental Nino two and o oh,
Speaker 2: look at that picture. Oh my god, you look so
Speaker 2: great anyhow, and then the bag of teeth and she
Speaker 2: was like, mom, what are these? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: those are my wisdom teeth and she goes, that's disgusting.
Speaker 2: Can I throw these away? I was like absolutely not.
Speaker 2: And she goes, what are you gonna do with them?
Speaker 2: When'd you get your wisdom teeth out? And I was like,
Speaker 2: uh sixteen. She goes, that's disgusting. Yeah, root and all
Speaker 2: all four perfectly intact. Might I add, oh, correction, those
Speaker 2: I will send to Dean because mine are all shaved
Speaker 2: to nubs because I'm getting finnars owed to my creepy past. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go on. This is my twenties from my
Speaker 2: first TV movie I did in Canada. This is when
Speaker 2: like they had smoke shops, but like La, it wasn't
Speaker 2: a thing. And I got like the coolest Oh my god,
Speaker 2: it's a cube and it's metal and it's like a
Speaker 2: one hit. Back then we'd say pot. Now it's like
Speaker 2: weed and it was a cube and I was like, Aha,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come back to LA and invent this because
Speaker 2: no one has it in the States. Another thing I
Speaker 2: put on my checklist of inventions. But she was like mom,
Speaker 2: and I was like, whoa, it was the nineties, Like yeah,
Speaker 2: mom had like a little bit of a stoner phase,
Speaker 2: Like sorry, there was that, and what else. There was
Speaker 2: a couple more creepy things that I was just like, yeah, oh,
Speaker 2: I know what. It was a G string. It was clean.
Speaker 2: I did a smell test. It was clean. You guys.
Speaker 2: I went, it's a little musty. It's been there for years.
Speaker 2: But I was like, oh my god, this is back
Speaker 2: when it was super cool, Like this is so old
Speaker 2: school but vs. Victoria's Secret PS. When I was young,
Speaker 2: Victoria's Secret was super popular and then for decades it
Speaker 2: was like like you couldn't wear it. It was like
Speaker 2: not cool, and now it's totally cool with the kids again.
Speaker 2: So my initials on brand, but it had a BS
Speaker 2: on it, and I was like, oh, that's okay you
Speaker 2: and I saved it, and so I was in there.
Speaker 2: But anyway, collectively like nine two one zero, like old
Speaker 2: school bubblegum teeth that had been ripped out, basically a
Speaker 2: weed pen from the nineties and an old pair of
Speaker 2: underwear creeped out. My kid, not gonna lie, not surprised,
Speaker 2: and she wanted to dispose of all this and I
Speaker 2: was like, nope, nope, we want to take a picture
Speaker 2: of this content. I don't know what I'll do with
Speaker 2: it all, but anyway, anyway, yes, and then there's Mother's Day.
Speaker 2: This is my first single girl Mother's Day? What does
Speaker 2: that mean? Like, I don't even know what that means?
Speaker 2: And Stella, bless her heart, she was like, Mom, what
Speaker 2: do you want to do for Mother's And I was like,
Speaker 2: whatever you guys want. She's like, no, Mom, seriously, every
Speaker 2: year you always say whatever we want, Like what do
Speaker 2: you want? Take everybody out of the picture? What do
Speaker 2: you like to do for fun? And I had no answer,
Speaker 2: you guys? And that was that was startling because I
Speaker 2: couldn't remember what I used to like to do for me.
Speaker 2: I couldn't even think of it. I was like and
Speaker 2: I kept saying, we wi we like sushi, and she's like, Mom,
Speaker 2: you she was like, do you want to go get
Speaker 2: a massage? And I was like no, no, no, no, it's
Speaker 2: about you guys. She's like, no, Mom, it's not like
Speaker 2: you do this every year like you plan and it's
Speaker 2: about everybody else, Like what do you want? And I
Speaker 2: couldn't remember what I like to do because it's been
Speaker 2: so long that I've thought about doing something for me.
Speaker 2: Ruth Anne, you knew me before I was married and
Speaker 2: had kids. Do you remember what I used to like
Speaker 2: to do?
Speaker 1: You really did get a lot of joy out of
Speaker 1: all of your DIY things that you made and cooking.
Speaker 1: I can remember you having. Did you say cooking fun
Speaker 1: baking and cooking?
Speaker 2: Did you say hooking?
Speaker 3: No, I say cooking.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you guys, I think I've gone deaf.
Speaker 2: I've had kids screaming in my ear for a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember you having a really good time hooking
Speaker 3: some boulevard about three o'clock in the morning. Those were
Speaker 3: good times.
Speaker 2: What do you mean, no, no cooking? I used to
Speaker 2: hook rugs.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I'm not as crafty as you are. No.
Speaker 2: Jen taught me that, Like I can do a lot
Speaker 2: of DIY. Jenny taught me. We would sit in her
Speaker 2: house and she taught me how to hook a rug.
Speaker 2: We went to she took me to Michael's for the
Speaker 2: first time. But yeah, I remember I was so big
Speaker 2: and dicopoge mm hm. Would you loved it?
Speaker 3: And it was nice because it was stuff you did
Speaker 3: with your kids.
Speaker 2: So stop bringing them into this.
Speaker 3: Why they's supposed to be sort of for both of you.
Speaker 3: It's the kids celebrating their mom.
Speaker 2: No, okay, interesting, there's two schools of thought. There's some
Speaker 2: moms that literally are like, you know what, I'm in
Speaker 2: this twenty four to seven every day. It's always about you, guys.
Speaker 2: So this is my one day and I want the
Speaker 2: day off. Lorraine, what type of mom? They're both like,
Speaker 2: it's fair, both types of moms like do you want
Speaker 2: to do what the kids want to do and spend
Speaker 2: the day with them, or do you want, like, I'd
Speaker 2: love to have some peace and quiet and do something
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 4: I want to be this spaw mom, but I I'll
Speaker 4: never be this spaw mom because of my guilt that
Speaker 4: I have no idea why I have. But yes, every
Speaker 4: day for them, even when it's Mother's Day.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately fair and my sentiment is exactly I want to
Speaker 2: be that spa mom, which you guys, you know what.
Speaker 2: The spot doesn't work for me. I just everyone's like,
Speaker 2: go get a massage. Speaking of guilt, I can't get
Speaker 2: a massage because I'm so worried the entire time like, oh,
Speaker 2: they're working on me, they're doing something for me. What
Speaker 2: about them? So I engage and ask about their lives
Speaker 2: and then you guys know, like, it's not even about me.
Speaker 2: I'm just this human like energy wise. People end up
Speaker 2: just like about that sounded dirty about their lives, and
Speaker 2: I embrace it and I end up giving them advice
Speaker 2: and being like, oh my gosh. And then what happened?
Speaker 2: And I've had one missus say oh my god, I've
Speaker 2: been doing this for so long, and she as she's crying,
Speaker 2: and she goes, that's a part. She brought up something
Speaker 2: very emotional that she had repressed, and she said, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. I have to take a moment. I am
Speaker 2: embarrassed telling you this. And I promptly sat up and
Speaker 2: hugged her and said don't oh my god, don't worry.
Speaker 2: It's safe with me, and like, but I'm that human
Speaker 2: that I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's so quiet.
Speaker 2: And then I've had friends be like no, no, no,
Speaker 2: you can't do that. So when you start a massage,
Speaker 2: you don't you say thank you. You're gracious, and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I've had a hard week. I'm just going to be quiet,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, well I can't say that and
Speaker 2: don't engage. You know, you're paying them, you're here, like
Speaker 2: they're here and they want to do this, and don't engage.
Speaker 2: So then when I don't engage and don't talk to them,
Speaker 2: I sit in my head for like an hour being like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, is she okay? Or and I don't
Speaker 2: like men touching me during a paid massage, so I yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just like, oh god, I feel so bad. And
Speaker 2: then I start to like go weird places like oh
Speaker 2: my god, I feel so bad, like at least it's me,
Speaker 2: Like imagine like men she has to deal with and
Speaker 2: they're hairy and gross and like that type of human.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I go all kinds of crazy places. But
Speaker 2: I sit there for an hour, just like tense, and
Speaker 2: then afterwards like are you relaxed, And I'm like absolutely,
Speaker 2: but I'm not anyway, Spa da mom.
Speaker 3: Anybody gives you a guest certificate for a massage, feel
Speaker 3: free to pass it my way. I can relax during
Speaker 3: a massage, really yeah. I not feel the urge to
Speaker 3: talk or think about the massage therapist.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, have you my friend? And I just had
Speaker 2: this combo the other day about happy endings. Oh god,
Speaker 2: oh too much for this podcast. Sorry my bad. No
Speaker 2: one ever. We were talking about happy endings and it
Speaker 2: was like, wow, this is a male and I were
Speaker 2: talking about this, so I was curious, how do men
Speaker 2: feel about it? And he was saying like not as
Speaker 2: jam like could never even would not be okay with it.
Speaker 2: But you know, clearly, you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 2: my male friends are like, oh, yeah, that's a thing.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, that's so weird. And then he
Speaker 2: posts the question to me, does this ever happen these
Speaker 2: happy ending places with a woman? Like do they ever
Speaker 2: give happy endings to a female or is it just males?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Definitely not at Burke Williams.
Speaker 2: Burke Williams. Oh you go to fancy places now.
Speaker 3: Burke Williams was like, in the nineties.
Speaker 2: You pretended to work out at Crunch? Cool, right, yep? No.
Speaker 2: I remember that I had a boyfriend then and he
Speaker 2: loved Burke Williams. So we would like go to Crunch
Speaker 2: and he'd work out and I'd like pretend to.
Speaker 5: Do the zoom book class or whatever boot camp, and
Speaker 5: it would be so embarrassing because they have like glass
Speaker 5: like glass so like everybody.
Speaker 2: Can see correct. And at Crunch in La it's on
Speaker 2: Sunset Boulevard and they would always I'm not even kidding,
Speaker 2: it would be like thirty people in there, and they'd
Speaker 2: have on their headset and they'd be calling to you
Speaker 2: to encourage you. They'd always call me out and I'd
Speaker 2: be like, what is happening. They'd be like Toy, and
Speaker 2: I'd be like, first of all, you know, I hate
Speaker 2: my name said like toy, but then like I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was yeah, it was late nineties.
Speaker 3: Out to say you've got the steps.
Speaker 2: For on or duh, yeah, you know I don't work out.
Speaker 2: I don't do that shit. And I was probably gossip
Speaker 2: being and like talking to my friend. I've been that
Speaker 2: way since like high school anyway, chatty Kathy. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I'd be like it'd be like Toy. I'm like, uh
Speaker 2: huh it was like and they'd be like okay, oh Toy, No,
Speaker 2: I'll be over in a second. I'd be like so shamed.
Speaker 2: I literally one time it was this boot camp class
Speaker 2: and the instructor had called me out three times and
Speaker 2: I literally waited till she was like helping somebody else
Speaker 2: in the corner, and I slipped out and slip out
Speaker 2: a fucking ran I was like. And then from the
Speaker 2: back she was like, you finally got it right. I
Speaker 2: was like, bye, But I liked the little holes in
Speaker 2: the wall, like the little places that are like in
Speaker 2: a strip.
Speaker 3: Mall where you will get a happy ending.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want a happy ending, like if I
Speaker 2: feel guilt with them, just like massaging my arm and leg.
Speaker 2: Imagine the guilt I would feel if they were like
Speaker 2: trying to like stroke my lady parts. Do you stroke
Speaker 2: lady parts? If they were too oh my god, jggle
Speaker 2: it just a little bit, not a little bit, a
Speaker 2: lot and you gotta go fast. But whole other story, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would never be comfortable. But on rare occasion they
Speaker 2: would go near your like butt and like almost too
Speaker 2: close to the thighs. Have you ever had that happen?
Speaker 2: And I'm like Rosen, I was like oooh, But then
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't want to make them feel bad.
Speaker 2: Perhaps this they're getting knots out of muscles, and so
Speaker 2: I don't want to freeze up. So I'd be like Relax, relax,
Speaker 2: They're doing nothing wrong. This is part of the job. Okay,
Speaker 2: but I was like, whoa kind of close? That's kind
Speaker 2: of close anyway. I am curious if a female has
Speaker 2: ever gotten happy ending.
Speaker 3: All right, this Mother's Day and then your birthday?
Speaker 2: Oh god, okay, so there's Mother's Day. Ella, of course,
Speaker 2: leader of the pack. She was like, mom, what do
Speaker 2: you want to do? I had nothing. I couldn't remember
Speaker 2: what I like, which leads me back to what do
Speaker 2: I like to do? I must have had hobbies before kids,
Speaker 2: Like in my twenties, what did I like to do
Speaker 2: besides shop and drink? What did I like to do?
Speaker 2: And rescue dogs? What did I like to do?
Speaker 3: I was going to say rescue dogs?
Speaker 1: I remember you making jewelry. I can think it always
Speaker 1: goes back to you being like super crafty and having
Speaker 1: an amazing artistic imagination and plugging into that that made
Speaker 1: you really happy.
Speaker 2: Someone's like, you should get into pickleball. I love to
Speaker 2: eat pickles. Pickles are a huge We do pickle tastings
Speaker 2: in my house, like every two weeks, I'm not kidding,
Speaker 2: a new kind of pickle comes out. We're on it,
Speaker 2: and all my kids fall a suit. So if anyone
Speaker 2: wants to send me anything, I would like pickles.
Speaker 3: That's a great idea.
Speaker 2: I should aim higher and caviar. Okay, anyway, what am
Speaker 2: I gonna do? Here's what I told her. I said,
Speaker 2: we used to love but it's still a wee thing.
Speaker 2: But it's something I wanted to do. We haven't been
Speaker 2: in a while because our lives have been chaos. I
Speaker 2: wanted to go down to Little Tokyo and walk around,
Speaker 2: and that's where I have often gotten a lot of
Speaker 2: my inspiration. And I love the fashion district. And you
Speaker 2: know what, I love revolving sushi down there. It's called Cora.
Speaker 2: It's just so fun. Anyway, so do that.
Speaker 3: That sounds like a great thing to do for Mother's Day.
Speaker 2: So I love Oh you guys, I love dim sum.
Speaker 1: Oh well well there you just come up with some
Speaker 1: great ideas. Great great mother's day.
Speaker 2: This podcast multi purpose. Okay, my birthday quickly, let's talk
Speaker 2: about my birthday. You guys, you know I love green,
Speaker 2: and green is the color. I'm a Taurus. I'm Tori.
Speaker 2: I'm a Taurus. I love sushi. Oh we just see exactly.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I love I'll find out I'm
Speaker 2: learning about myself. Who knew me? Anyway? Yeah, so emerald
Speaker 2: is my birthstone, which is not the reason I like green.
Speaker 2: I just love green like Green's always been my jam.
Speaker 2: Obviously I wear a lot of green. So anyway, So
Speaker 2: what do you want to do for your birthday this year?
Speaker 2: Having it be your first birthday as a single woman? Okay,
Speaker 2: so the last two years, this is a fact, I
Speaker 2: have been sick on my birthday. I had bronchitis on
Speaker 2: my forty ninth birthday. Literally stayed in bed. They brought
Speaker 2: the cake into me. I was like, one eye open,
Speaker 2: which one works better with my botox? None? Okay? They
Speaker 2: brought the cake in. I was like so sick. Okay,
Speaker 2: got it? Missed my birthday. My fiftieth birthday, ruth An
Speaker 2: was there. My mother threw a lovely she knows caviars
Speaker 2: like Big Sam. Sorry when you grew up like I did,
Speaker 2: like I was born eating caviar silver spoon. Oh, but
Speaker 2: we got member, we got pearlized spoons. I still have
Speaker 2: it me too, one of my purses. Remember to take
Speaker 2: that out before I sell it, the purse, not the spoon. Mom.
Speaker 2: I would never do that. I love that. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so they had one in Paris. They opened up a
Speaker 2: caviar restaurant bar here and lovely twenty person beautiful table
Speaker 2: all my besties and you guys. Ironically was this massive,
Speaker 2: big potato you guys, I'll send you a picture, you guys,
Speaker 2: topped with the most heaping spoonful of caviar you've ever seen.
Speaker 2: My other one of my other friends jokes, he was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I don't even eat caviar or potatoes,
Speaker 2: but when I'm being served a thousand dollars potato, I'm
Speaker 2: going deep. WHOA. I don't know where I was going
Speaker 2: with that one. Do you remember that?
Speaker 5: I do?
Speaker 2: And Hansen's my mom, Aw, this was so cute. So
Speaker 2: Hansen's has been like my family since I was born.
Speaker 2: My mom always every birthday Hanson's cake. She got individualized
Speaker 2: Hanson's cakes for everybody to take home as the party
Speaker 2: gets Hey, ruth Anne, what happened to your Hanson's cake?
Speaker 1: My Hanson's cake ran into a few things somehow, I'm
Speaker 1: not quite sure or how it ended up on my glasses.
Speaker 3: In my purse.
Speaker 2: Well, it ran into a few things, including your fingers
Speaker 2: and hands. I heard all about this on the ride home.
Speaker 2: I don't today just make you blush.
Speaker 3: I don't think so, just hot.
Speaker 2: Hot flash anyway. Yeah, but my point was it was
Speaker 2: just my big birthday. Wearing green. Of course looked amazing,
Speaker 2: but I was sick. It was right after we had
Speaker 2: the mold poisoning and I was so sick. I was
Speaker 2: on antibiotics. I may I drank through it, but I
Speaker 2: literally I was so sick during that birthday. So fingers
Speaker 2: crossed and put it out there my fifty first birthday,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be well and I'm going to have
Speaker 2: a bomb ass birthday. What are we doing? Nothing planned?
Speaker 2: I know Everyone's like, what do you want to do?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm me, I don't know. I hate surprises.
Speaker 2: You guys all know that. You know what. That's old me.
Speaker 2: I don't hate surprises. Surprise me away. Oh god, I
Speaker 2: don't know, but that's that's me. I'm more focused. And
Speaker 2: Memorial Day week and I'm like, three day weekend, what
Speaker 2: do I do for the kids. Oh, it's pool season.
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know, We'll come up with something really
Speaker 3: fun for your birthday.
Speaker 2: Kids can be so manipulative, as you know. I always
Speaker 2: started to see the way that for my kids. I
Speaker 2: was like, Hey, so maybe my birthday or you know,
Speaker 2: one night that week, I'm gonna go out with friends
Speaker 2: and I'll have like a friend night and like go
Speaker 2: and do adult things and you know, go have drinks
Speaker 2: and go, you know, like ad night out. And Stella
Speaker 2: was like, you're not going to spend your birthday with us?
Speaker 2: And I was like oh oh, And I was like
Speaker 2: I tried to like justify it as moms do you think?
Speaker 2: And You're like, well, it's a school night, so why
Speaker 2: don't I go out that night and have like my
Speaker 2: fun night out with my friends? And then I was like, baby,
Speaker 2: it's all fun with you guys. And then that weekend
Speaker 2: we'll have a weekend where we're all together. And she's like, okay,
Speaker 2: if that's what you want, I was like, oh, that's
Speaker 2: what I want. Like crap, this sucks, Like what are
Speaker 2: we supposed to do? Like, okay on my birthday? You know,
Speaker 2: this is my next chapter, Like I'm like doing me. Now,
Speaker 2: what am I supposed to do? Like go out with
Speaker 2: my five kids at six o'clock early bird special Chili's cool.
Speaker 2: You guys will all be on the swipe the pad like, oh,
Speaker 2: plant versus zombies, Like, no one will look at me.
Speaker 2: I'll sit there sipping on my sake soke wishful thinking
Speaker 2: Chili's ough. Great, I'll have to have the Sharennkes. They
Speaker 2: don't even have a pinot Grisia. Fuck my life anyway.
Speaker 3: I have the perfect solution.
Speaker 1: Yes, go to one of those places in those minimals
Speaker 1: and get yourself a happy ending for your birthday.
Speaker 2: Ew no, thank you, No, I don't want that. How
Speaker 2: do you guys feel? Sorry, I'm my tangent. How do
Speaker 2: you guys feel about the new terminology body count?
Speaker 3: I don't know what that is? Wait, what's that?
Speaker 2: I heard this from the teens. Ps. All my teens
Speaker 2: are super like not into this, Like they're very like
Speaker 2: Donna Martin's good for them happy. But there's a thing
Speaker 2: that the teens that aren't virgins say like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: my body count. Literally I heard body count. It was
Speaker 2: like serial killer. I was like, how many bodies have
Speaker 2: you been? I don't know how many people had you killed?
Speaker 2: What the hell? And Stella was like, no, mom, you
Speaker 2: know what that means? Like you're so uncool, like everyone
Speaker 2: says it. It's how many people you've slept with, it's
Speaker 2: your body count, oh dow. Yeah, we used to just
Speaker 2: keep a list, like on paper.
Speaker 3: I don't even want what we did.
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever happened to that list, which is
Speaker 1: a little frightening.
Speaker 2: So I was that girl that was like a numbers girl,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I lose my virginity till I
Speaker 2: was over eighteen. And it's like getting my earspurs, like
Speaker 2: I'm not you know, didn't do it till I was eighteen,
Speaker 2: not going to do it till I'm forty. So I cried,
Speaker 2: you guys, I bawled my eyes out when I went
Speaker 2: over one hand, and I'm talking about the number five
Speaker 2: when I had slept with more than five people. I
Speaker 2: cried so hard and was like internally beating myself up
Speaker 2: like I am a whore, Oh my god. And I
Speaker 2: wasn't young. It was spread out through the years, like
Speaker 2: well into my way into my twenties five, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I have had another hand.
Speaker 2: And I was so sad. Now granted, you know men,
Speaker 2: you know, it's like another notch for my belt. Wait,
Speaker 2: what do they say? Now? I'm sure that's not cool anymore.
Speaker 2: Like whatever, like men can sleep. They want to like
Speaker 2: up the number like hundreds, you know, and you're like ooh.
Speaker 2: Like girls, I feel like we are just like oh no,
Speaker 2: we want the number low. But I hear that's not
Speaker 2: the new generation then, you know, because women are empowered.
Speaker 2: They're like, well you know that's and they're like proud
Speaker 2: of their body count. I'm like, uh uh, I can't
Speaker 2: invest in that, Like why was I talking about this anyway?
Speaker 2: I don't want a happy ending? What else? What else
Speaker 2: can I do for my birthday? I do you guys?
Speaker 5: You know what?
Speaker 2: You know what the truth is. I do want a
Speaker 2: happy ending, and it doesn't involve sex. It doesn't involve
Speaker 2: anything physical. I want my happy ending. I'm not like,
Speaker 2: here's the thing about me. I feel like I never
Speaker 2: am jaded and there's always that like light inside of me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Jenny calls me Paulianna. She's like, Okay, this positivity, but
Speaker 2: it's a fact, like I can find hope in anything
Speaker 2: and I never get discouraged. And I call it. You
Speaker 2: know a lot of people, I feel like people put
Speaker 2: your fire out. And Dean said something that actually resonated
Speaker 2: in an article. He said he saw my light dim
Speaker 2: that final fight we had before we split up and
Speaker 2: separate it, and I was like, I had to think
Speaker 2: about that one. I was like, wow, he did. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it flickered, it dimmed a little, but it's not going
Speaker 2: out like It's like, I feel like my flame is
Speaker 2: burning brighter than ever inside, and so yeah, I do
Speaker 2: deserve that happy ending. I'm getting there and I'm hopeful
Speaker 2: and I'm going to make it happen. Light it up, bitch,