Speaker 1: I was drugged and just like missing for like seven hours.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to find out what happened. I want revenge, peace,
Speaker 1: calling everything to everyone. It's real rapping a bit. I
Speaker 1: was shamed for so many years for being so hyper
Speaker 1: emotional and crying so much and like getting angry so fast.
Speaker 1: I just am so afraid to celebrate myself and then
Speaker 1: be like clapped in the face. I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I value like being very true to how you feel,
Speaker 1: whether that's a good feeling or not.
Speaker 2: That's powerful. Before we jump into this episode, I'd like
Speaker 2: to invite you to join this community to hear more
Speaker 2: interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
Speaker 2: All I want you to do is click on the
Speaker 2: subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see
Speaker 2: all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't
Speaker 2: wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you
Speaker 2: so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.
Speaker 2: The best selling authoring the post the number one healthy
Speaker 2: well inness podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Welcome back
Speaker 2: to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
Speaker 2: Thanks to each and every single one of you that
Speaker 2: keep coming back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
Speaker 2: Now you know that the conversations we want to have
Speaker 2: on this platform are conversations with the heart and soul,
Speaker 2: conversations of the mind, conversations that help us become better,
Speaker 2: live better, evolve, understand our authentic selves and share that
Speaker 2: journey with our friends. And today's guest is someone who
Speaker 2: I believe has been on a roller coaster of a
Speaker 2: journey and trying to navigate that and manage that with
Speaker 2: grace and with contentment in a way that I'm excited
Speaker 2: to explore today and get curious about. Today's guest is
Speaker 2: Renee Rap and she knew she was born to perform
Speaker 2: ever since she was a kid. Renee's career took off
Speaker 2: when she landed the coveted role of Regina George in
Speaker 2: the Tony nominated Mean Girls Musical on Broadway. Shortly after,
Speaker 2: Renee found widespread recognition and praise from the likes of
Speaker 2: Harper's Bizarre and The Hollywood Reporter for her performance as
Speaker 2: Lie on the HBO Max series The Sex Lives of
Speaker 2: College Girls, Big Fan over Here. Renee then turned her
Speaker 2: attention back to music, sharing her threadbare insecurities on her
Speaker 2: debut single Tattoos, and the multi hyphene entire debut headline
Speaker 2: tour sold out in a matter of minutes. Her inspiring
Speaker 2: single too Well has impacted the top forty and Renee's
Speaker 2: discography has amassed over two one hundred million streams and counting.
Speaker 2: And today we're talking about her new work, which I
Speaker 2: can't wait to dive into. Renee, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Thanks thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I feel like you've been through so much change,
Speaker 2: so many, you know, career paths, And then I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're so young as well, and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 2: it's so much that you've been through. And I guess
Speaker 2: my first question is how do you feel about where
Speaker 2: you've landed now?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Who is the Renee today? What version of this is you?
Speaker 2: How are you feeling?
Speaker 1: Yeah, my manager and I were just talking about this
Speaker 1: in the car. Every couple months, I get into this
Speaker 1: new wave of like where like something really settles in
Speaker 1: where I'm like a new level or I feel like
Speaker 1: personally I'm at a new level, or I'm at like
Speaker 1: a different level of visibility. Typically in the past, it's
Speaker 1: felt really good right now, to be honest, it feels
Speaker 1: very scary in like a lot of ways, just like
Speaker 1: in a I'm really aware of myself all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: So I love the changes. I feel very grateful right
Speaker 1: now for everything I've done, and hopefully knock on wood
Speaker 1: or whatever, continue to do. But the new, the new,
Speaker 1: the newness and the new levels when they come it,
Speaker 1: they didn't knocks me. It knocks me.
Speaker 2: What's scary.
Speaker 1: I am becoming much more aware of how people perceive
Speaker 1: me and whether that's good or bad or in between.
Speaker 1: I feel some kind of way about it, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to like let that go really bad. I'm trying
Speaker 1: really really hard. It's not been working. Like we had
Speaker 1: like a bunch of like stuff come out this morning
Speaker 1: about like the album, and granted this is all fairly
Speaker 1: good news, but I like immediately just started having such
Speaker 1: an anxiety attack because I was like, oh, I just
Speaker 1: don't want anybody to ever speak about me again, which
Speaker 1: is exactly why I'm here today and exactly why I
Speaker 1: keep doing this. Yeah, it's a weird thing. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's interesting. It's never really sat with
Speaker 1: me before in that way. Like this really hit me
Speaker 1: about a week ago where I was like, oh, I've
Speaker 1: actually chosen to have a very visible life. Just really
Speaker 1: hit me, to be honest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, in my own small way, I can
Speaker 2: relate to that as well.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing. Though.
Speaker 2: What's really interesting is I think from the outside in, yeah,
Speaker 2: a level up looks quite at least from the way
Speaker 2: I perceive it my sperience. Sure, I think from the
Speaker 2: outside in most people's careers, level up look very orchestrated
Speaker 2: and manufactured, when in reality they're a lot more organic. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and they're a lot more natural.
Speaker 1: I think so. I think so, especially like especially of course,
Speaker 1: I'm such like an internet rat, Like I really have
Speaker 1: to get better about like not reading everything. I'm so
Speaker 1: bad at that. I like commend people who are good
Speaker 1: at being like, I'm gonna turn my phone off and
Speaker 1: not take this to heart. I cannot do that. I
Speaker 1: care so much and I gotta let that go. But
Speaker 1: I I definitely feel that way because I read things
Speaker 1: sometimes again, and I shouldn't be reading, but that are
Speaker 1: so interesting to me. Like somebody somebody the other day
Speaker 1: called me an industry plant, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wish I was an industry plant. I was like,
Speaker 1: that would be amazing. I was like, that'd be iconic.
Speaker 1: I was like, if like my father was like some
Speaker 1: like industry mogul, that would be lovely. He went into
Speaker 1: like medical sales, like he didn't help me out like that,
Speaker 1: you know. So yeah, it's always it's always interesting thing,
Speaker 1: and I find it really silly and funny.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, and then it must be hard. I mean, obviously,
Speaker 2: I think everyone's seen it, the video where you sadly
Speaker 2: have a stalker coming up to you and Drew on
Speaker 2: set on stage. Yeah, and then it's almost like looks
Speaker 2: like you've been notified and you kind of see it coming,
Speaker 2: and then you're protecting Drew. Like I mean, like, when
Speaker 2: you have moments like that happen, does that almost make
Speaker 2: you feel more vulnerable and susceptible?
Speaker 1: Or I feel like, even to say it out loud,
Speaker 1: it sounds so silly and so like woe is me?
Speaker 1: But I really was so weirded out by that whole thing.
Speaker 1: And I that's not to say that like it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: I just like, I don't know, she's such a ge
Speaker 1: and she's such a pro and sadly has probably had
Speaker 1: that happen her entire life. I've never been in situations
Speaker 1: where that has happened to myself, luckily, or anybody around me.
Speaker 1: That was so scary because I understand I don't know,
Speaker 1: like you never he had like a bag on him,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, I just don't know where
Speaker 1: this could go. Also, I'm I live in fight or
Speaker 1: flight just by the nature of having so much anxiety.
Speaker 1: So like when you see me like twitch in that
Speaker 1: video and like go, it's like half of like a
Speaker 1: I'm like a pretty like transparent person. Like if somebody
Speaker 1: like scares me, you're gonna know. And also be like
Speaker 1: that was so jarring for me. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've just never been through anything like that before. To me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know it sounds very well as me
Speaker 1: and silly, but it did scare the hell at me.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it was very weird, fully understandable. I'm glad
Speaker 2: that you know it didn't go any further than it did.
Speaker 2: Same and yeah, it's always worrying. Again. I think it's
Speaker 2: the unpredictability of it. I was reading a study that
Speaker 2: was saying that humans would rather know one hundred percent
Speaker 2: that a bad thing's going to happen as opposed to
Speaker 2: have a fifty to fifty chance of it happening or
Speaker 2: not happening.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, probably.
Speaker 2: Right, Like we would rather know that something bad's gonna
Speaker 2: happen rather than live in this world of like it
Speaker 2: could or it couldn't. Yeah, like that uncertainty. You've been
Speaker 2: doing this for a long time. What parts of your
Speaker 2: anxiety have you got better at dealing with? And what
Speaker 2: bonds of anxiety are like still just flaring on?
Speaker 1: Well, it's funny because I think that I I get
Speaker 1: what you're saying, because one hundred percent of my decision
Speaker 1: making happens before I do something like this morning, right,
Speaker 1: like when like chart data or things are coming out
Speaker 1: about like the album, before anything was even posted, published
Speaker 1: out there or whatever, I had already made the assumption
Speaker 1: and was already like, Okay, people are going to be
Speaker 1: upset about this. This is going to be not real,
Speaker 1: and I've already decided that it's bad before it happens,
Speaker 1: so that I've I can prepare myself to at least
Speaker 1: not be so disappointed. So I definitely do that.
Speaker 2: Does that help?
Speaker 1: I actually don't know. I don't know because for everyone
Speaker 1: around me like all they say is like we really
Speaker 1: want you to enjoy things, and like we want you
Speaker 1: to be having fun and we want you to be
Speaker 1: able to celebrate yourself. I just am so afraid to
Speaker 1: celebrate myself and then be like slapped in the face.
Speaker 1: I don't want that. I would I don't know, and
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's not great to say. I
Speaker 1: would rather live in a state of like just like
Speaker 1: chilling and like hope that nothing horrific happens, but be
Speaker 1: prepared if it does. I don't know what's better or worse.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think there is. I just wanted to know, right, No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: I would love to endoy things a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I'm not really there right now. I still, I think
Speaker 1: have like the same anxieties as what I started. It's
Speaker 1: just more that I'm much more aware of how I'm
Speaker 1: perceived now.
Speaker 2: And you feel before you just weren't aware, and so yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Just kind of was like, oh, this is me, I'm
Speaker 1: so out here and don't care and whatever. I also
Speaker 1: was just so hungry to do this and to be
Speaker 1: doing music that it was just like run for it.
Speaker 1: And now I kind of feel like that I'm embarking
Speaker 1: on whatever music looks like in my life. I'm much
Speaker 1: more nervous about it, maybe just because I'm in it
Speaker 1: and experiencing it. But it's definitely we it's definitely weird.
Speaker 2: Do you have to do you have to turn down
Speaker 2: the outside noise when you're creating and when you're making
Speaker 2: And are you able to do that or is it
Speaker 2: just so hot?
Speaker 1: And it's not something that I really think of when
Speaker 1: I'm creating. It's something I think of when I'm acting.
Speaker 1: I'm more so thinking about like for me, like do
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing the best I possibly can.
Speaker 1: I'm so hypercritical of myself when I'm writing that I'm
Speaker 1: not even worried about another person because I don't even
Speaker 1: have the space in my brain to think about someone
Speaker 1: else's opinion, if that makes sense, which I guess is nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds great, it sounds good to me.
Speaker 1: It's a little nicer. Yeah, it's bad when I write
Speaker 1: like a really bad song though, because when I write
Speaker 1: a bad song, like my like worst critic is myself,
Speaker 1: and it's like.
Speaker 2: What's what's the thought you think you repeat the most.
Speaker 1: At those times, I will never write another good song again.
Speaker 1: It goes to that extreme, Oh my god in two seconds,
Speaker 1: and that everybody around me is lying to me, and
Speaker 1: that everybody who is kind enough to work with me
Speaker 1: and put their time and energy toward things that I
Speaker 1: really want for my career, And how sweet that is
Speaker 1: that they're all making ginormous mistakes and this is all
Speaker 1: a leap of faith that they've taken that they're going
Speaker 1: to regret. Immediately jump into that totally, And.
Speaker 2: Then how long would you sit in that?
Speaker 1: For a long time? A long time Like this morning
Speaker 1: again good things were happening, and I was just like
Speaker 1: in my head, I'm just like, they're all lying to me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's no way, mind you, these are people
Speaker 1: who I trust and love and who are giving up
Speaker 1: time out of their lives to work toward a goal
Speaker 1: that I really want so deeply, Like these are lovely people.
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with them and everything to
Speaker 1: do with me. But yeah, I'd sit in that all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: And then what gets you out of it?
Speaker 1: I just keep going like resilience and also just I
Speaker 1: want it so bad, and I also I want to
Speaker 1: succeed for myself. But I also really want to like
Speaker 1: prove to everybody who is working with me or who
Speaker 1: believes in me, or even like consume is my music
Speaker 1: from two seconds of a song to like listen to
Speaker 1: everything I put out, Like I want to do well
Speaker 1: for those people. So I don't know, maybe like drive
Speaker 1: things like that. Yeah, fear of failure really motivates me.
Speaker 1: I love her.
Speaker 2: Do All of these characters in your head have names
Speaker 2: and voices and hes and his and their.
Speaker 1: My God, they're all They're all. They're all me. They're
Speaker 1: just all different versions of me. Like the like fear
Speaker 1: of failure is like me as like a kid, I
Speaker 1: think because I like, I used to set like such
Speaker 1: obnoxious goals for myself as a child, like and it
Speaker 1: would keep changing. I would be like, if I'm not
Speaker 1: Beyonce by the time I'm eighteen, I have failed. Wow,
Speaker 1: insane And it used to be things like that I
Speaker 1: used to be and when I was really really little,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, if I am not on Disney Channel
Speaker 1: by the time that I am thirteen, I might as
Speaker 1: well just end it all. Like they were just such chicks,
Speaker 1: extreme things. So there are just all different versions of
Speaker 1: myself that just kind of coexists or lack thereof. They
Speaker 1: don't have that.
Speaker 2: And do you find yourself still repeating those audacious goals
Speaker 2: even now or oh.
Speaker 1: My god, every day, yeah, every day, and they're they're
Speaker 1: let's be clear, there are things that I'm not necessarily
Speaker 1: proud of, Like no.
Speaker 3: I get that, Yeah, yeah, okay, fabulous, because sometimes I
Speaker 3: like say something and I'll be like no, no, no,
Speaker 3: that's not how I like feel.
Speaker 1: That is what I think now, like this morning, like
Speaker 1: these are great things that are happening, okay, and like
Speaker 1: we had like a top ten like debut album and
Speaker 1: everybody's like this is amazing, and in my brain, I
Speaker 1: was like I could have done better. Like all I
Speaker 1: could think of in my head was like I could
Speaker 1: have done better. And I cried and I like beat
Speaker 1: myself up, and then I like kind of came to
Speaker 1: and was like, oh no, this is actually like very exciting,
Speaker 1: and then I would like go back down again. You
Speaker 1: know the movie Talladaya Nights. Yeah, of course, if you
Speaker 1: ain't first your last, Like that's all I think of
Speaker 1: in my brain, which is so silly and so stupid,
Speaker 1: and I wish I didn't feel that way, but I
Speaker 1: really do, I really do.
Speaker 2: No hearing you explain it and I want to clarify
Speaker 2: what I was reaffirming with you. Was Hearing you explain
Speaker 2: it is a really good breakdown of how I think
Speaker 2: so many of us think totally so hearing you articulated
Speaker 2: with so much clarity. Yeah, I'm listening going. I know
Speaker 2: there are times and I think exactly the same way
Speaker 2: as that, and I know everyone who's listening again in
Speaker 2: their own way are thinking the same thing. And we
Speaker 2: all know how deabilitating that is. Because now number two
Speaker 2: is the same as ninety nine, Yes, and it makes
Speaker 2: no difference. And by the way, ninety nine is great,
Speaker 2: but ninety nine is not, you know we're looking at.
Speaker 2: So it just keeps going, and it's it's a perpetual cycle,
Speaker 2: which can be so paralyzing insane.
Speaker 1: I also would never hold someone else to the standard
Speaker 1: that I hold myself, and I'm very aware of that.
Speaker 1: It doesn't change how I feel, sadly, but I I
Speaker 1: never in my life would say to somebody if they're like,
Speaker 1: my debut album debuted it fivey six hundred whatever, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, that is amazing, what an incredible amount of work, blood,
Speaker 1: sweat and tears you and so many other people around
Speaker 1: you have put into this, and this is an accomplishment
Speaker 1: that you should celebrate for years and years on end
Speaker 1: and believe every single word of that. For myself, I'm like,
Speaker 1: could have done better, I should have done more. I'm
Speaker 1: just immediately like what should I have done better? Which
Speaker 1: is silly. Yeah, but it is kind of like a
Speaker 1: human thing, I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it's that almost. It's interesting, isn't.
Speaker 2: It's like that's the same mindset that will make you
Speaker 2: improve and get better, but it's the same mindset that
Speaker 2: can slow you down. And yeah, brain you it is.
Speaker 1: It is also the life set that I have been
Speaker 1: like praised for by like adult figures in my life
Speaker 1: since I was very young.
Speaker 2: That's where it comes from.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, absolutely absolutely, Like I don't blame anyone
Speaker 1: or think this is like a negative thing that somebody,
Speaker 1: you know, put in my brain, but I do always
Speaker 1: think of it like I used to like finish like
Speaker 1: basketball games or like any sort of competitive thing that
Speaker 1: I would do, whether it was like sports or like
Speaker 1: some like showcase for like singing, and like my first
Speaker 1: like comment from like my parents, who I love and
Speaker 1: who are so supportive. But my first comment from my
Speaker 1: parents would be like, Okay, what could you have done better?
Speaker 1: Even if I would have like crushed and so like
Speaker 1: that is honestly my thought every single time, which in
Speaker 1: a way is really great because I'm always like trying
Speaker 1: to make myself better and also they hold myself accountable
Speaker 1: for places that I slipped up, could have done more,
Speaker 1: didn't do enough. Yeah, But then also it becomes this
Speaker 1: thing where you just like beat yourself up for every little,
Speaker 1: like tiny place you could have had a little celebratory
Speaker 1: moment and congratulations internally that you then don't have. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very weird.
Speaker 2: It's almost like taking that question if all of us
Speaker 2: were first asked, what did you do great?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: Could you have done that up?
Speaker 1: I got to be great?
Speaker 2: Like it just positions it so differently. If someone said
Speaker 2: to you, what did you do great? And you, as
Speaker 2: a kid were like, I think I did this right,
Speaker 2: and I think I got this right, and I think
Speaker 2: I did this right. Now you celebrate. You've got a
Speaker 2: moment what you were just saying earlier, You've had a
Speaker 2: moment to celebrate and know yourself and know that you've
Speaker 2: won and that you're powerful and great, and then it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: well what could you have done better? And now it's
Speaker 2: like okay, now I.
Speaker 1: Have absolutely have a balance exactly.
Speaker 2: Whereas if you don't have the what you did great,
Speaker 2: you only have the critical judgmental questioning.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. When I first started doing therapy, I
Speaker 1: was twenty, so this is like maybe three years ago
Speaker 1: now three and a half years ago. And I will
Speaker 1: never forget like they would. Therapists would like ask me.
Speaker 1: They'd be like, Okay, what is something you like about yourself?
Speaker 1: Or what is something you're proud of that you do?
Speaker 1: And I could not, for years, like answer that question
Speaker 1: at all. I would just start sobbing every single time.
Speaker 1: Every single time. I was just like I cannot top
Speaker 1: on my myself in any sort of the way, which sucks.
Speaker 1: So how about now I can? I can I do
Speaker 1: a better job of it now? I love the people
Speaker 1: in my life really really hard, very glad. Yeah that's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah you found it. Yes, No, and you've attracted.
Speaker 1: Them yeah yeah, theyed you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's a two way thing. It's like run around
Speaker 2: you because they love you and believe in you and
Speaker 2: you're around them because you love them and believe in them.
Speaker 2: That's that's special. And you know, I'm gonna definitely miss
Speaker 2: you on Sex Lives of College Girls like your characters
Speaker 2: awesome for me and my wife watched the show all
Speaker 2: the time and absolutely loved it. What you were just
Speaker 2: talking about earlier, like acting was actually a space that
Speaker 2: made you feel a lot more like anxious and everything?
Speaker 2: Was that the reason to switch over or what was
Speaker 2: it for you that made you go, you know what,
Speaker 2: I need to step away?
Speaker 1: No, I mean to be honest, like I inevitably like
Speaker 1: one day, I'm like very excited to talk about it.
Speaker 1: I can't say a ton about it being with the
Speaker 1: sack strike. That being said, acting to me was always
Speaker 1: just so scary. It was just so scary. It was
Speaker 1: just something I had no confidence in and thought I
Speaker 1: was just so so so terrible at. It was something
Speaker 1: that came later on in my life, at least to
Speaker 1: this point, later on in my life, I was like
Speaker 1: eighteen nineteen that I just didn't think I could do
Speaker 1: and it became like a really amazing opportunity to get
Speaker 1: people's attention, to pay attention to me to do music,
Speaker 1: which I didn't feel like I was getting when I
Speaker 1: was younger, or at least it was harder for me too.
Speaker 1: But I just really really wanted attention musically, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to like get signed and do like the whole thing.
Speaker 1: And when acting became a conduit for that, I just
Speaker 1: was like, well, Okay, I guess I got to do this.
Speaker 1: I would be silly not to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I still.
Speaker 1: Felt so so incredibly insecure around it. I just was like,
Speaker 1: I cannot do this. I was like, I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: fired from any job that I have when it comes
Speaker 1: to acting. So it's something I've developed a love for now.
Speaker 1: Later on. Actors are so so so thoughtful, so thoughtful,
Speaker 1: and so like careful and articulate, and like you really
Speaker 1: have to like rid yourself of like the judgment, and
Speaker 1: I struggle so so hard with that. So it's it's
Speaker 1: just something that I was always so insecure about.
Speaker 2: That's actually a really powerful lesson though, Yeah, And I'm
Speaker 2: glad you shared that detail because most of us have
Speaker 2: one goal and we think there's one path to it, yeah,
Speaker 2: and we're just walking in that direction, and often that
Speaker 2: door doesn't open at a certain age, at a certain
Speaker 2: time at a certain point in life. Yeah, but we
Speaker 2: don't realize that a pivot at that point doing something
Speaker 2: that you were even massively uncomfortable with.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But that's actually helped and been a productive and proactive
Speaker 2: use of time as an investment in what you really
Speaker 2: want to do, which I love that as a life lesson. Like,
Speaker 2: that's incredible, That's huge.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, it's been the best I've like not only
Speaker 1: like in a career since have I grown so much
Speaker 1: and learned so much and been able to work with
Speaker 1: really incredible people. I've also like met like my best
Speaker 1: friends in the whole wide world, like my best friend
Speaker 1: in the planet I met on TV show Ohliyah, And
Speaker 1: you know, so it's like it's it's given me a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's been like a really really big catalyst for
Speaker 1: my music career. And that is not at all lost
Speaker 1: on me.
Speaker 2: That's fantastic. What's been your most difficult insecurity to channel
Speaker 2: in music? Like, what's been the hardest thing to actually
Speaker 2: communicate and express? And why do you think that is?
Speaker 1: It's interesting. I feel like I expressed most of my
Speaker 1: insecurities and things that I think, yeah, pretty well. And
Speaker 1: it's pretty.
Speaker 2: Openly absolutely no, I think you do totally.
Speaker 1: But even though I do, I still constantly feel like
Speaker 1: I'm so not communicating anything, well anything at all, even
Speaker 1: though I know I do that, you know, like that
Speaker 1: is the entire basis of like my songwriting is like
Speaker 1: exactly how I feel and like letting that go again,
Speaker 1: whether it be something I'm like proud of this thought
Speaker 1: and opinion I have, or whether it's something that I'm
Speaker 1: not proud of, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: that is how I feel, and that is my art
Speaker 1: and that is the reason why I put it out there. Whatever,
Speaker 1: I still judge every inch of it so harshly, like
Speaker 1: I cannot let it go. Like I wrote like a
Speaker 1: bunch of songs on my album and I'm really like
Speaker 1: proud of the things that I said and like proud
Speaker 1: of the place that it comes from. And then I'll
Speaker 1: panic about having written it and be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said that was so stupid, Like I
Speaker 1: was just like sending the wrong like message or something,
Speaker 1: or am I, you know, going against everything I believe in?
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, no, that is actually just like
Speaker 1: how I felt in that moment and like, not everything
Speaker 1: I say is like Bible and like how you should
Speaker 1: live your life? Please God don't. But like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I communicate it all and I'm proud of how I do,
Speaker 1: but I don't let that just be like that just
Speaker 1: never exists. So I can over communicate as much as
Speaker 1: humanly possible and still be incredibly insecure about what I'm
Speaker 1: saying or like how it is received.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I couldn't be more excited to share something truly
Speaker 2: special with all you tea lovers out there. And even
Speaker 2: if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating,
Speaker 2: refueling sodas that are good for you, listen to this
Speaker 2: RADI and I poured our hearts into creating Juny Sparkling
Speaker 2: Tea with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing
Speaker 2: your body, and with every sip you'll experience calmness of mind,
Speaker 2: a refreshing vitality, and the burst of brightness to your day.
Speaker 2: Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances
Speaker 2: that act like superheroes for your body to help you
Speaker 2: adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life.
Speaker 2: Our super five blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, ushwaganda,
Speaker 2: acirolla cherry, and Lion's made mushroom. And these may help
Speaker 2: boost your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine,
Speaker 2: combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain
Speaker 2: function even better. Juni has zero sugar and only five
Speaker 2: calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your
Speaker 2: body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So
Speaker 2: visit Drinkjuni dot com today to elevate your wellness journey
Speaker 2: and use code on Purpose to receive fifteen percent off
Speaker 2: your first order. That's drink Jauni dot com and make
Speaker 2: sure you use the code on purpose with you for
Speaker 2: a few moments. I really feel like when you do
Speaker 2: describe what anxiety feels like. A lot of the time,
Speaker 2: when people talk about anxiety, it sounds like here, or
Speaker 2: it sounds like here, the chest is title, they feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But when I hear you speak about it, you speak
Speaker 2: about it from here, which really helps because it's kind
Speaker 2: of like making sense. There was one lyric that stood
Speaker 2: out that I wanted to share with you. I'll make
Speaker 2: it through the winter. If it kills me, I can
Speaker 2: make it faster. If I hurry, I'll angel in the
Speaker 2: snow until I'm worthy. But if it kills me. I
Speaker 2: tried if it kills me, And when I was there
Speaker 2: was a couple of lines in there that I wanted
Speaker 2: to kind of break down with you if that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So one was I'll make it through the winter if
Speaker 2: it kills me, and I was like, when do you
Speaker 2: feel like you're most in winter? Like when does it
Speaker 2: feel the coldest?
Speaker 1: In the moments of me getting so riled up and
Speaker 1: so panicked and freaked out about my career, my family,
Speaker 1: being a good friend, like when I'm just like really
Speaker 1: really really really really I don't know, just coming for myself,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I never feel like I'm gonna like stop,
Speaker 1: Like I just always feel resilient in a stick way, honestly,
Speaker 1: in a way that has really really really helped me.
Speaker 1: But it's crazy. Sometimes I think about it and I'm
Speaker 1: very confused, Like I genuinely don't know where it comes
Speaker 1: from or like what it is. But like I could
Speaker 1: be having the worst day of my life and I
Speaker 1: would still be like, yeah, this sucks, and like this
Speaker 1: is the worst day of my life. And I feel
Speaker 1: like a terrible person, and I feel like I've done
Speaker 1: something really, really horrible, and I'm still not going to
Speaker 1: stop what I'm doing, not that behavior. I guess like
Speaker 1: I'm still not going to stop, like making music or
Speaker 1: doing the thing that I love. And it's silly now
Speaker 1: in retrospect, because I get like your kids, you say
Speaker 1: dumb things, but like I would like post these singing
Speaker 1: videos online when I was in high school, and like
Speaker 1: all these girls would like go on Twitter and like
Speaker 1: say how terrible of the singer I was, and how
Speaker 1: I was just so silly and I looked stupid. And
Speaker 1: I remember that so so well, and I remember really
Speaker 1: hurting my feelings. But at the same time, I still
Speaker 1: kept posting videos. It wasn't like it didn't hurt my feelings,
Speaker 1: but I was like, you're not gonna stop me from
Speaker 1: doing the thing that I love to do and that
Speaker 1: I want to do. So winter is always but winter
Speaker 1: is resilient, and so angels as a whole. It's just
Speaker 1: full of resilience.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. What makes you feel worthy now.
Speaker 1: I feel worthy when the people around me are happy,
Speaker 1: which I guess is something inherently that's like, oh that sucks.
Speaker 1: Like I should feel worthy when I feel good about myself,
Speaker 1: but I really do at this point in my life,
Speaker 1: I feel I feel worthy when people around me are
Speaker 1: happy and proud of me. If I feel like the
Speaker 1: people around me are happy and proud of me and
Speaker 1: they're okay, then I feel okay. And that goes for
Speaker 1: like are like kind of like community and like fandom too,
Speaker 1: Like if they like things and they feel good, then
Speaker 1: I feel good. And if they don't, then I don't
Speaker 1: feel good, which sucks. I know that's something I have
Speaker 1: to inevitably work on and find some sort of equilibrium
Speaker 1: to like be balanced and stuff. But right now it's
Speaker 1: really just like it sucks, but it's when other people
Speaker 1: are proud of me, then I am proud of myself.
Speaker 1: I don't do well finding that internally, which is not ideal,
Speaker 1: but it is like what it is right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and starting from where you are is the
Speaker 2: only thing you can do. So yeah, being honest about
Speaker 2: that and knowing where it's at absolutely And it's interesting
Speaker 2: both times. Even earlier when we were like, you know,
Speaker 2: what are you proud that you have around you? You
Speaker 2: were like yeah, the people.
Speaker 1: No, it really doesn't go like any.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, And there's something beautiful in that. It's
Speaker 2: the idea that what makes you worthy is that those
Speaker 2: people choose to be in your life because they see
Speaker 2: you as worthy. Absolutely and that and it's like if
Speaker 2: you can just connect that. But it's a good Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it takes a while. It takes a while for
Speaker 2: all of us. We've all been conditioned. Whether it's everyone
Speaker 2: around me matters, every around me doesn't matter, like whichever
Speaker 2: way we are, we're all at some end of that spectrum. Yes,
Speaker 2: what are the experiences in your life that you think
Speaker 2: have made you become resilient? Like when did that? When
Speaker 2: did you start to look at your life though I've
Speaker 2: been through a lot of tough stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's.
Speaker 2: Built of resilience. What were some of those events or
Speaker 2: what was the moment that you felt made you resilient.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting. Whenever I start to like again like
Speaker 1: compliment or like like pat myself on the back in
Speaker 1: any sense of the word, I get so like my
Speaker 1: immediate response, to be frank was to be like, well,
Speaker 1: I've had it very easy and and I'm good, and
Speaker 1: don't be wrong, haven't many many ways. But I think
Speaker 1: that I feel like my resilience comes from like two
Speaker 1: different things. A Like things that I actually go through,
Speaker 1: be things that like how I speak to myself. I'm
Speaker 1: very resilient when it comes to how I speak to myself.
Speaker 1: Like if I had the inner monologue that I have
Speaker 1: that was from another human being, oh my gosh, Like
Speaker 1: that would suck. That would suck. But for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: I keep pushing through and keep going. And that doesn't
Speaker 1: really change that much, but I keep going. But like
Speaker 1: situations like, for instance, like so snow Angel, which was
Speaker 1: like the single of this album and it's not like
Speaker 1: the album title and everything, is something that I've like
Speaker 1: talked about for months really just being like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is a situation that happened to me, and this is
Speaker 1: something that like I'll eventually talk about. But like I
Speaker 1: want you to like have the song, sit with the song,
Speaker 1: interpret it in the way that you need, and feel
Speaker 1: like it can like sit on you so that you
Speaker 1: have it because like the situation of that song A
Speaker 1: is something that I pray and doesn't not something legit
Speaker 1: that everybody can relate to in the sense that I
Speaker 1: went through it which I'm very glad about, but like
Speaker 1: that was a huge moment of resilience for me, and
Speaker 1: even writing the song, I feel like was resilience, and
Speaker 1: then in a way, holding back from then talking about
Speaker 1: it for a couple of months was resilience. So it
Speaker 1: shows up in my life in a lot of different ways,
Speaker 1: but for that specifically, it was January, maybe late January,
Speaker 1: early February of twenty twenty two, and I had just
Speaker 1: gone through like a breakup and it was really tough,
Speaker 1: and it was like the first time I had ever
Speaker 1: been really in love with someone and then experienced like
Speaker 1: a breakup. And I had always I had been in
Speaker 1: relationships back to back for like five years, so my
Speaker 1: later teen years were all that. And so at this
Speaker 1: point I'm twenty two and I started like having like
Speaker 1: freedom in my life kind of for the first time.
Speaker 1: And I was living here in la and I was
Speaker 1: like hanging out in a new group of people and
Speaker 1: they were like they were partiers, and they like really
Speaker 1: sent it, really sent it. I had heard from like
Speaker 1: my family and like my friends around me that like
Speaker 1: this isn't really like a good group. We don't think
Speaker 1: for you, and that's not to say that these are
Speaker 1: bad people, because I don't I don't believe that. I
Speaker 1: think that people can do bad things and so be
Speaker 1: good people sometimes so a couple of them. But I
Speaker 1: was in this group of friends and we were just
Speaker 1: like sending it. And it was the first time in
Speaker 1: my life where I wasn't working. I was fresh out
Speaker 1: of this relationship. I was just going there. And I
Speaker 1: think that I had always had to like really like
Speaker 1: nail myself to the ground, and I had always been
Speaker 1: just so incredibly nervous, and for the first time, I
Speaker 1: just like didn't and I like really let my judgment
Speaker 1: go when it came to the people that were around me.
Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 1: We were all out and it was just situation after
Speaker 1: a situation where they were just not trustworthy. And then
Speaker 1: like the next thing you knew, I was face up,
Speaker 1: like laying down in like a bathroom stall in a
Speaker 1: hotel bar, just waking up like five in the morning,
Speaker 1: like completely alone. And I woke up and I was
Speaker 1: like I was just so confused, and I had like
Speaker 1: blood on my pants and I was really just like
Speaker 1: so caught off guard, and I like looked down. I
Speaker 1: had my phone and my purse and I looked down
Speaker 1: and I was completely alone in a bathroom stall, and
Speaker 1: I looked at my phone and it was like five
Speaker 1: in the morning. I was like, what happened? I was like,
Speaker 1: I was out of like a party with like my friends,
Speaker 1: and I had missed two texts from two people that
Speaker 1: I was with at like ten thirty the night before,
Speaker 1: which was like seven hours had gone by. That was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I guess you left, Like, well, you know, see you
Speaker 1: in let me see you and mind you. I was
Speaker 1: dating somebody in the group at that time, and so
Speaker 1: I didn't go to this place alone. And I had
Speaker 1: like a boyfriend or a situation or whatever somebody that
Speaker 1: I was at least with that just was nowhere to
Speaker 1: be found. And so I still have no idea what happened,
Speaker 1: no clue what happened. But I was drugged and just
Speaker 1: like missing for like seven hours and stopped being friends
Speaker 1: with those people and stopped doing as much partying as
Speaker 1: I was and told my parents, told some of my
Speaker 1: friends and just kind of explained it in like a
Speaker 1: really matter of fact way, and they were all very concerned.
Speaker 1: And I didn't really even understand what was happening, because
Speaker 1: again I didn't recall anything that had happened, and then
Speaker 1: a couple months later we like really delve into it,
Speaker 1: and like I kind of started to like have to
Speaker 1: like deal with everything that happen and was just crying
Speaker 1: and so upset and very confused and then resentful of
Speaker 1: that was friends that I was with. But all that
Speaker 1: to say, then like a year later, we wrote Snow Angel,
Speaker 1: and I had been saying to Alexander, who I did
Speaker 1: this whole album with, like I really want to write
Speaker 1: a song about this. I'd recounted the situation so many times,
Speaker 1: and after like the tenth time of telling like a
Speaker 1: group of people that you know through maybe just music sessions,
Speaker 1: that you were like drugged and you have no idea
Speaker 1: what happened and you were like kind of into drugs
Speaker 1: at one point, but you don't really want to talk
Speaker 1: about it, but you do want to write a song
Speaker 1: about it, and them just being like, then you kind
Speaker 1: of stop wanting to write that song naturally, So I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I guess I just won't write anything
Speaker 1: about this. And then eventually Alexander like came back to
Speaker 1: me and was like, I really want to write that
Speaker 1: song that you were talking to me, about and I
Speaker 1: think you and I should just do it together. And
Speaker 1: I was like okay, And then we started writing and
Speaker 1: it was just the two of us, and frankly, the
Speaker 1: whole time we were writing it, I felt nothing, nothing
Speaker 1: Like I was explaining all this stuff and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you can like reference like the snow as whatever
Speaker 1: you want to reference it has, and things like that,
Speaker 1: and I felt nothing at all until we had recorded
Speaker 1: the song. The whole thing was done, and I played
Speaker 1: it for a bunch of my friends and my manager
Speaker 1: and everybody was like, this is insane. But for me,
Speaker 1: that whole year of my life was inherent resilience, because
Speaker 1: not only was I like fighting through an experience I
Speaker 1: have no idea what happened to me, lost friends, felt
Speaker 1: like I couldn't go out with anybody and trust anybody,
Speaker 1: And then was like trying to explain the situation in
Speaker 1: a way that I understood it, but I didn't really
Speaker 1: understand it, And then wanted to write a song about it,
Speaker 1: and wanted to write an album about it, but was
Speaker 1: also afraid to be judged for having something like that
Speaker 1: happened to me. But it's also like, what did happen?
Speaker 1: So it was a whole thing up until we decided
Speaker 1: to like name the album's so Angel and have that
Speaker 1: be the song that to me, it was all resilience
Speaker 1: because I was just like kind of cold face, like
Speaker 1: fighting through everything. And I still don't really know how
Speaker 1: I feel about it. I just know that I feel
Speaker 1: weird and very resilient.
Speaker 2: That's resilient, for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's resilient.
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure. I mean, have you ever been able
Speaker 2: to piece anything together from the night or not at all?
Speaker 2: Like just nothing? That's that must be So that's almost
Speaker 2: like so disconnecting.
Speaker 1: From very weird. Yeah, very weird. Yeah, I know, I
Speaker 1: have no idea, and I just stopped talking to the
Speaker 1: group of people. I was like, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: want to know what you know or don't or what
Speaker 1: you claim to know or don't know. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to let it go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what made you trust them in the first place
Speaker 2: that you now look back as the red flag and go?
Speaker 2: I should have been aware.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to have fun. I really wanted to
Speaker 1: have fun. I had just gone through this breakup, and
Speaker 1: I had just changed a lot of my life and
Speaker 1: I had just you know, become visible in like a
Speaker 1: different way in the career thing. And I just wanted
Speaker 1: to like party and have a good time. I didn't
Speaker 1: go to college, and I didn't have that experience like
Speaker 1: to like let loose and just like kill. And these
Speaker 1: were people that I saw were really partying too much
Speaker 1: to a point, and I just I wanted to have fun,
Speaker 1: and I wanted people who knew none of my friends,
Speaker 1: who knew nothing about my life, who didn't know my ex,
Speaker 1: who didn't know two x's ago, who knew nothing about me,
Speaker 1: and I was just like fresh new into the group.
Speaker 1: I don't know, It's just like it was exciting to
Speaker 1: have a group of people that just did not care
Speaker 1: about anything else other than partying. Because I cared so
Speaker 1: much about everything else. I wanted that like level of
Speaker 1: just like escape and not dealing with it. And then
Speaker 1: I just escaped too far.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how did they act when you kind of started
Speaker 2: to disconnect?
Speaker 1: To be honest, like it wasn't a big deal, Like
Speaker 1: it was it was nothing to them to lose a
Speaker 1: friendship like that. It was it wasn't a big deal
Speaker 1: to them, And that's you know whatever. I guess the
Speaker 1: only time that I ever heard like anything was like
Speaker 1: when I started just like really release music and started
Speaker 1: getting more attention for it, somebody was like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: I would love to talk to you about like the time.
Speaker 1: Da da da da da, And I'm just like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't. Like, no, you don't, No, you don't. And
Speaker 1: I feel like that person obviously. I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: just disappear like randomly. You just don't. As far as
Speaker 1: I'm concerned, I could be way wrong and silly for
Speaker 1: thinking that, but yeah, it wasn't a big deal to them.
Speaker 1: It was just nothing, and I've I've made peace with
Speaker 1: it to just be like, Okay, if that is how
Speaker 1: you react to do something like that happening to me,
Speaker 1: then you don't value my life, friendship and safety in
Speaker 1: the way that I would value yours. So it's best
Speaker 1: we just part ways and then we just never really
Speaker 1: talked again.
Speaker 2: That's hard as well to like, yeah, yeah, how does
Speaker 2: that feel to you?
Speaker 1: Now? I trust people really fast, and then when I
Speaker 1: don't trust someone, I don't trust them, and I think
Speaker 1: it's very jarring for people around me sometimes. But I'm
Speaker 1: good at letting go, very good at letting go, and
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's something that I'm really good
Speaker 1: at because I've been burned one too many times. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would rather be like with my group of friends
Speaker 1: now and like not be at risk to like be
Speaker 1: left alone and hurt and have whatever happened happen then
Speaker 1: like be with those people. Yeah, I think I'm doing
Speaker 1: like pretty good in my life where I don't really
Speaker 1: feel like I need that.
Speaker 2: And also the idea of like wanting to party and
Speaker 2: have fun is not a bad thing. Yeah, but it's yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's almost it's so that wanting to
Speaker 2: have a great time and your intentions just like, hey,
Speaker 2: I've got through his breakup, I want to party, I
Speaker 2: want to have fun, Like, yeah, that doesn't seem like
Speaker 2: a terrible thing. No.
Speaker 1: And I also I was worried about how my friends
Speaker 1: and people who were immediate in my life would like
Speaker 1: view me for them having all of this sudden happened
Speaker 1: to be like yeah, okay, so I was out with
Speaker 1: this group of people X, Y, and Z happened whatever.
Speaker 1: I was very scared about how that would did they respond?
Speaker 1: They were at the time, they were much more worried
Speaker 1: than I was aware of what was happening, because I
Speaker 1: really just brushed it off, and honestly, I think I
Speaker 1: was just in like kind of like a fight or
Speaker 1: flight thing, just like, okay, well this happens, got to
Speaker 1: move on, to be honest, The next weekend, I went
Speaker 1: to Coachella, like I was just like, okay, whatever. My
Speaker 1: friends were very concerned, and we're really weird it out
Speaker 1: and where I guess talking like amongst each other more
Speaker 1: so than to me, but we're really protective.
Speaker 2: Did you feel like you had to move on fast
Speaker 2: in order so that people didn't take it too seriously
Speaker 2: because you wanted them to be okay with it and
Speaker 2: you didn't allow yourself to feel it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also really didn't want to know what happened. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to find out what happened.
Speaker 2: And still yeah, nope.
Speaker 1: And in a way I kind of do, because I
Speaker 1: also am like vengeful, to be honest, and I like,
Speaker 1: in a way I want to know, like who let
Speaker 1: what you know? But also I was just like, okay,
Speaker 1: move on, Like I don't want anybody to see me
Speaker 1: sweat in that way, because then that would be admitting
Speaker 1: that something bad actually did happen to me. And I've
Speaker 1: never had anything specifically like that, happened to me before,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was a very like a long
Speaker 1: shot of an idea, like that's something you hear about
Speaker 1: happening to like girls and people out who like get
Speaker 1: drugs and things like that, and that's not ever something
Speaker 1: that would happen to me. So I just I wanted
Speaker 1: to move past it quickly.
Speaker 2: Yes, that denial as well. Absolutely, How has that changed
Speaker 2: your way of now having fun and being able to
Speaker 2: go out and being able to trust? Like, how is
Speaker 2: that impacted?
Speaker 1: I'm better friends now group. Yeah, I'm very I'm very
Speaker 1: lucky I have good people in my life. I also
Speaker 1: am really I think I'm a more like honest version
Speaker 1: of myself. Like if I don't trust someone, they will know,
Speaker 1: and odds are they won't really be around me. But
Speaker 1: also like I used to want everybody to be my
Speaker 1: friend so badly, and don't get me wrong, I still
Speaker 1: kind of do, but I like I wanted everyone's approval
Speaker 1: in the worst way when it came to a friend group.
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily feel like that anymore. I feel like
Speaker 1: I got taken advantage of obviously a lot in many ways,
Speaker 1: but now I don't really feel like that happens to
Speaker 1: me as much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like, how far are we willing to
Speaker 2: go away from ourselves to get someone else's approval?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would have ran to the ends
Speaker 1: of the earth.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Once you made that song, as you were saying,
Speaker 2: you were trying to put it in and you're trying
Speaker 2: to get yes your team. Finally, Alexander, Yeah, finally, like
Speaker 2: you know understood and was listening. And how did it
Speaker 2: then feel to put that out there in the world,
Speaker 2: and then obviously you've talked about your family of friends
Speaker 2: and now for everyone to hear it. How did that feel?
Speaker 1: It was honestly weird for the first couple of months,
Speaker 1: because I was like, I what I wanted was for
Speaker 1: the song to live on its own and have its
Speaker 1: own kind of existence without my experience attached to it,
Speaker 1: so that people could take it in a way that
Speaker 1: they weren't listening to the song and feeling like pity
Speaker 1: for me. In a way, I wanted everybody to have
Speaker 1: their own experience with it, because again, this is a
Speaker 1: very specific song.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: I also, however, would find myself like getting so frustrated,
Speaker 1: like wanting to like talk about it and just like
Speaker 1: blurt it out before I was like fully like not
Speaker 1: ready to, but like before I was ready to like
Speaker 1: actually like make this like okay, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: Now the album was out, it was like a weird
Speaker 1: back and forth because also I'm still very like angry
Speaker 1: from the situation. As much as I want to like
Speaker 1: move past it and push past it would just float
Speaker 1: between like I really like nobody knowing what this is about,
Speaker 1: and also like I want revenge, like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, and revenge for me is just like talking
Speaker 1: about it, I guess. But yeah, it went, it went
Speaker 1: both ways. I am, however, really really really glad that
Speaker 1: people got to sit with it and take their kind
Speaker 1: of experiences with it. But it was really interesting seeing
Speaker 1: people's interpretations of the song because somebody was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, yeah, when it's cold outside, it's brutal, and
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, girl, like that is amazing you
Speaker 1: feel that way, like art really is subjective. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was weird for a minute. It's so weird.
Speaker 2: Have you ever had people reach out to you and
Speaker 2: tell you about their experiences of similar things happening.
Speaker 1: Or nobody has not that I've seen anything, because I
Speaker 1: don't even feel like it's really suggested incredibly in the song,
Speaker 1: but unless you like know, yeah, you won't know. But
Speaker 1: I have, however, had had a couple of people talk
Speaker 1: to me about like their own experience with because these
Speaker 1: are people who have been through some sort of like
Speaker 1: drug or alcohol related like thing or what have you,
Speaker 1: and been like, hey, like I really really liked this
Speaker 1: song for my own reason, and I've been in and
Speaker 1: out of X y Z situation and this has been
Speaker 1: really helpful for me. And there have been a couple
Speaker 1: of times where like, obviously I haven't like said anything,
Speaker 1: but like you know, when you're talking to somebody and
Speaker 1: you're like not saying exactly what it is, but like
Speaker 1: you can kind of both tell in each other's eyes
Speaker 1: that there's like something much deeper happening than what you're
Speaker 1: both saying. It's that kind of like camaraderie and like yeah,
Speaker 1: I see you without like saying it, yes absolutely, which
Speaker 1: has been really comforting.
Speaker 2: It's sad that you can connect on that or understand
Speaker 2: each other, but at least you feel understood and held
Speaker 2: in that moment totally. Thank you for sharing that with us.
Speaker 2: I mean it's like it's just oh yeah, it's just
Speaker 2: I mean you know, I think that whenever we go throings,
Speaker 2: go through things where we don't have control and we
Speaker 2: don't have consciousness even you know what to speak of control,
Speaker 2: it's it's so disconnecting from the self because you were
Speaker 2: disconnected from from a period of time from yourself. What
Speaker 2: have been the things today that you feel connect you
Speaker 2: to yourself? Like, what are the things that you love
Speaker 2: to do that make you kind of you know, smile
Speaker 2: and love and you know, bring joy to you.
Speaker 1: I love talking to people. I love. I'm such a
Speaker 1: like extroverted introvert. I really like I Relating is my
Speaker 1: favorite thing in the whole world. And whether it's like
Speaker 1: actually relating or having someone else or myself feel understood,
Speaker 1: even if it's not necessarily relating, I love that. I
Speaker 1: love writing songs. Writing songs is my greatest weapon in
Speaker 1: this life. It's my favorite thing in the whole wide world.
Speaker 1: And I also, honestly, the thing that I like love
Speaker 1: most in my life right now is like I love
Speaker 1: watching my little brother grow up. That's kind of like
Speaker 1: a complete segue, but yeah, he's like he's only a
Speaker 1: couple of years younger than me, but he's like totally
Speaker 1: my baby and so I'm like really trying to like
Speaker 1: cherish watching him like grow up. So yeah, again, it's
Speaker 1: like all the people connections. I'm like, I love the
Speaker 1: people in my life very much.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. My youngest sister is like five years younger
Speaker 2: than me, and so I remember like when she was born,
Speaker 2: I remember holding her. Oh and she's getting married in
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and she's thirty one, and it's just
Speaker 2: like such a you know, I feel the same way,
Speaker 2: like she's like my baby and he's getting married. Like
Speaker 2: it's it's a crazy feeling.
Speaker 1: It's insane. Yeah, it were you like a like a
Speaker 1: like an emotionally it's kind of an avative question, I guess,
Speaker 1: But were you like an emotionally available older so older sibling.
Speaker 2: I have a really good relation with my sister and
Speaker 2: like she sees me that way as well. So yeah, definitely,
Speaker 2: I would say I was good, and I would say
Speaker 2: that as she got older, though I kind of intentionally
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say distance myself, but I intentionally gave her
Speaker 2: space to build up those skills herself, and so I
Speaker 2: started smart.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that with my brother. Like, Charles, how
Speaker 1: do you feel about everything? Yeah, that's actually very smart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just realized over time where it was like
Speaker 2: I didn't want her to wait to wake up one
Speaker 2: day if I wasn't around or whatever it was, or
Speaker 2: even right now I live across you know, the world, right,
Speaker 2: the idea that she didn't have the tools and skills herself,
Speaker 2: and I was really trying to help her build those
Speaker 2: tools and skills herself. And I'm really proud that she's
Speaker 2: been able to do that. And it's taken years of
Speaker 2: doing that, sure, but it's almost like I wish it's
Speaker 2: almost like when you know, when you first start riding
Speaker 2: a bike, you have the stabilizers and your parents push
Speaker 2: the bike. Yeah, and then your parents stop holding onto
Speaker 2: the bike and you just have to stabilize and maybe
Speaker 2: fall off totally, and then you put the stabilizer and
Speaker 2: then they get taken off. But it isn't like your
Speaker 2: parent like pushing you on a bike like when you're
Speaker 2: twenty one years old. And so I feel like with mentorship,
Speaker 2: with coaching, with anyone that I work with, like the
Speaker 2: goals always like how do they develop the tools themselves?
Speaker 1: That's cool?
Speaker 2: What kind of tools do you think you're wanting to
Speaker 2: pass on or what are the lessons then, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: there's only a two year gap, So yeah, you're like
Speaker 2: accelerating your learning.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know, I like I really want
Speaker 1: my brother is so much like me in my like
Speaker 1: worst and best ways. I just want him to like
Speaker 1: not beat himself up so much I went through so granted,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that I still absolutely do. I don't, however,
Speaker 1: to the extent that I used to. I used to
Speaker 1: beat myself up into bad, bad places. It was tough,
Speaker 1: Like I again, like I couldn't sit with myself, I
Speaker 1: couldn't say something that I was proud of because it
Speaker 1: would be every thought I had would be met with
Speaker 1: something else I didn't do. And I really want that
Speaker 1: for him, really really badly, because I don't I don't
Speaker 1: want I don't want anybody to beat themselves up the
Speaker 1: way that I beat myself up. Jesus Christ, it was exhausting.
Speaker 1: I can tell you firsthand. It's very exhausting. Nobody else
Speaker 1: did't really have to go through that.
Speaker 2: I don't think what age was that. Do you think
Speaker 2: you were like the harshest critic?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean I feel like it honestly
Speaker 1: just started to be honest. When I started doing music
Speaker 1: and when I got signed, like in June of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two, my life changed a ton, a ton because
Speaker 1: also I was working in a environment with a bunch
Speaker 1: of people who were choosing to be there and choosing
Speaker 1: to show up for me and choosing to help support
Speaker 1: and then foster the thing that I wanted so badly,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I had big support, Like I
Speaker 1: felt like I had big guns behind me, which was
Speaker 1: a huge, huge, abusive confidence and also made me want
Speaker 1: to work really hard to prove to everybody that believed
Speaker 1: in me and was investing time and money let's be
Speaker 1: clear into me that I was worth it. And I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just felt really like uplifted, and I
Speaker 1: hadn't really felt that in a lot of like working
Speaker 1: situations before. I felt like everybody actually really cared what
Speaker 1: I had to say for the first time, and I
Speaker 1: had never felt that specifically in work never, So it's
Speaker 1: really nice to have that.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's it's amazing, isn't it. It's like we're
Speaker 2: constantly looking again for that external just kind of hard
Speaker 2: and it's always it was so programmed that way.
Speaker 1: I write music for a living, like I make songs
Speaker 1: for a living, for people to listen to, like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like in a way that's inherently that.
Speaker 1: And that's not to say that I don't do it
Speaker 1: for myself at all. I absolutely do, but like you know,
Speaker 1: I go to a concert to perform, not for people
Speaker 1: to not have fun and not enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think that when you were obviously
Speaker 2: you didn't You didn't go to college because you were
Speaker 2: trying to, you know, get into the industry. You were
Speaker 2: just saying that when you were young, you wanted to,
Speaker 2: you know, figure out the Disney thing or figure out
Speaker 2: this thing or whatever it may be. Absolutely imagine you
Speaker 2: sitting with ten year old Renee right now, what does
Speaker 2: she need to hear?
Speaker 1: I similar to have lived with a lot of ears
Speaker 1: of beating myself up. I used to just live with
Speaker 1: this like inherently guilt and regret like the cloud over me,
Speaker 1: like just in a big way. And I used to
Speaker 1: think that like, oh, I would tell my younger self
Speaker 1: to do like this and this and this better like
Speaker 1: this d d DA. I am now like really deciding
Speaker 1: to like not regret any of it. That's not to
Speaker 1: say that I don't want to hold myself accountable for
Speaker 1: things that I've done that aren't great, or for things
Speaker 1: that I inevitably will do that are not good, or
Speaker 1: that you know, don't serve myself for other people. That's
Speaker 1: a separate conversation. This is more about I'm really so
Speaker 1: incredibly proud of like such a lively, spunky, monstrous, little
Speaker 1: like ten year old girl who was so fearless, so fearless,
Speaker 1: like I was a rambunctious kid. I was crazy. I
Speaker 1: was inviting everybody in the neighborhood to my concerts on
Speaker 1: the fireplace, I was forcing people to come and listen
Speaker 1: to me, saying I was screaming for people to pay
Speaker 1: attention to me. And I'm really really glad that I
Speaker 1: did that. And I would just say, like, do everything
Speaker 1: how you feel like you're going to, and when you
Speaker 1: mess up, just listen to yourself that you've you've messed up.
Speaker 1: I would honestly just say, like everything she did was great,
Speaker 1: happy to be here. In you know, failures and in wins.
Speaker 2: You've talked about being so self aware, and you can
Speaker 2: hear it when you're you know, when I'm talking to
Speaker 2: you today, I'm like, there's such an awareness of who
Speaker 2: you were. There's such an awareness of who you are,
Speaker 2: what you're feeling at this stage in your life. What
Speaker 2: are you hoping to unlearn for the future and learn
Speaker 2: for the future. If there was one thing you had
Speaker 2: to unlearn that you've developed, and if there's one thing
Speaker 2: you had to learn, what would you say they are?
Speaker 1: I would say something that I would like to learn
Speaker 1: is how to Like I'm so hyper aware of when
Speaker 1: I do this in situations, and I try so hard
Speaker 1: not to whenever someone is talking about something that they've
Speaker 1: experienced with somebody else, like if somebody has hurt their feelings, right,
Speaker 1: like if my best friend's talking to me about someone
Speaker 1: who has hurt them or harmed them or done them wrong.
Speaker 1: In the smallest or biggest sense of the word, all
Speaker 1: I can think in my brain is like, when have
Speaker 1: I done that in my life? And just start like
Speaker 1: spiraling down this like I remember when I did that
Speaker 1: to so and so, and like I need to call
Speaker 1: this person and be like, I'm so sorry for what
Speaker 1: I put you through when we're like four, Like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And I really would like to
Speaker 1: not center myself in what somebody else is talking about
Speaker 1: and it's not at least it's not consciously a selfish thing,
Speaker 1: like I'm not actively trying to make my friend's grievance
Speaker 1: about myself. I do, and I hate it because then
Speaker 1: I'm also like, oh my god, now I'm not as
Speaker 1: present with like my friend who's being so sweet and
Speaker 1: vulnerable with me, and now I'm doing a disservice to
Speaker 1: her by by not, you know, listening to her fully
Speaker 1: and being so hyper conscious of like how I've acted
Speaker 1: or how I could have possibly showed up that way.
Speaker 1: I really want to unlearn that. I'm trying so hard
Speaker 1: not to do that. I hate when I do that. Granted,
Speaker 1: if I just keep beating myself up for it, then
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it for the rest of my
Speaker 1: life and then I'm never going to like give myself
Speaker 1: grace for it something that I want to Well, I
Speaker 1: guess that's kind of learning, and I'm learning another thing
Speaker 1: that I want to like learn and learn. I need
Speaker 1: a little more like internal patients. I need internal patience.
Speaker 1: I need internal patients and external judgment really quick, Like
Speaker 1: I really need a lot of internal patients. I also
Speaker 1: need to like not give people who have hurt me
Speaker 1: or done me wrong as much slack, Like it's okay
Speaker 1: to like say that, like no, thank you. I'm good
Speaker 1: at like being done when I'm done, but it takes
Speaker 1: me a second, right, you know, Like I think, like
Speaker 1: with that group of friends, like I should have taken
Speaker 1: maybe two things that happened before I ended up, like
Speaker 1: face up, you know before that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't need to get to that extract correct
Speaker 2: those great answers, Yeah, great answers. How have you how
Speaker 2: have you kind of navigated the the you know again,
Speaker 2: we're doing much change you've talked about before, Like I
Speaker 2: think you were struggling with the eating disorder when you
Speaker 2: were ten. You've talked obviously about how you've had, you know,
Speaker 2: the gray area of your sexuality, like figuring that out.
Speaker 2: Like how have you got comfortable navigating like the gray when.
Speaker 1: It comes to like eating disorders, I think at least
Speaker 1: and this is not necessarily everyone else's opinion, but how
Speaker 1: I perceive it myself is eating disorders are something that
Speaker 1: you are always going to deal with and always going
Speaker 1: to have, right. And this is not to compare it
Speaker 1: to alcoholism, because it is in nowhere the same or
Speaker 1: different or whatever, it's not a comparison, but it is
Speaker 1: to say that like with alcohol, you can decide to
Speaker 1: put yourself in situations where there is going to be
Speaker 1: alcohol there or not, or like you are going to
Speaker 1: decide whether to drink or not, you are never going
Speaker 1: to decide whether you can eat or not.
Speaker 4: You have to.
Speaker 2: You have to.
Speaker 1: And again that is not to like put down or
Speaker 1: make little of alcoholism or any sort of struggle like that.
Speaker 1: My dad has been so over my whole life, but
Speaker 1: is an alcoholic, and this is something we talk about
Speaker 1: constantly and try to better understand each other. It's hard
Speaker 1: with an eating disorder that is just constantly going to
Speaker 1: be around you. You have to eat to survive. So
Speaker 1: that's a constant gray area for me. I feel like
Speaker 1: I talk about it every day, so it's always just
Speaker 1: like how did I do with it today? Or how
Speaker 1: am I going to do with it tomorrow. It's like
Speaker 1: living in a gray area, which is really frustrating because
Speaker 1: I think to myself a lot like I would love
Speaker 1: for this to be gone, but it is just not
Speaker 1: something that I'm never going to deal with. If I
Speaker 1: want to continue to be alive, I'm gonna be eating
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna have food around me, and that's going
Speaker 1: to make me feel crazy some days and out of
Speaker 1: control and insecure and really proud of myself and in
Speaker 1: full control other days. So there's a gray area with
Speaker 1: that constantly. When it comes to like sexuality, that's a
Speaker 1: whole other gray area that, like, at least for me,
Speaker 1: I over the last like six or seven months, have
Speaker 1: become less at least right now. But I think this
Speaker 1: is gonna sound so silly, but like I try too,
Speaker 1: And granted this is also very easy for me to say,
Speaker 1: because like I am a queer person who like is
Speaker 1: still at the end of the day like a white
Speaker 1: woman and his sisgender, and like I also am bisexual,
Speaker 1: so like I'm going to be in heteronormative relationships inevitably
Speaker 1: just based off of being bisexual potentially. I think for
Speaker 1: me it is easy to say, but I try to
Speaker 1: like view like the gray area or times when I'm
Speaker 1: like struggling for like a label if I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'll go through conversations with like my girlfriend constantly
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, I actually feel incredibly not bisexual
Speaker 1: right now, like, and it's it's silly, but there are
Speaker 1: things we talk about all the time, both of us
Speaker 1: with each other, and I'm just gonna try to view
Speaker 1: it as like a little pink area, like it's all good,
Speaker 1: it's all cool, it's pink, it's good, it's good, whatever
Speaker 1: it is. Like, if I one day feel like this
Speaker 1: label or whatever or lack thereof does not suit me,
Speaker 1: then that's great. And that does not suit me, And
Speaker 1: I'm very fortunate to be able to make that decision
Speaker 1: and have that not affect my life in an incredibly
Speaker 1: massive way. A lot of other people are not. But
Speaker 1: I view it as a little pink area. It's just good.
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to be so angry with myself about it.
Speaker 1: I struggled to like want a rhyme and a reason
Speaker 1: and a label and a season to make sense every
Speaker 1: single day, and I'm just not there, yea. And I
Speaker 1: don't think a lot of people are. So I think
Speaker 1: it's fine. Like straight people at least as far as
Speaker 1: I'm concerned. I don't like wake up every day and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, what level of straight am
Speaker 1: I today? And then if you are one of those people,
Speaker 1: you're likely queer, so you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, we're so hardwired to be like, you have
Speaker 2: to choose an answer. Oh yeah, whether it was school,
Speaker 2: whether it was parents. Who's like, there's always one right answer.
Speaker 2: You had to figure it out. There were no other options,
Speaker 2: there was no great yeah, right or wrong?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: And so I think we still live in the right
Speaker 2: or wrong and so it's really hard to be like, well,
Speaker 2: if I don't have the right answer, I must have
Speaker 2: the wrong answer. But I know this isn't wrong because
Speaker 2: it's how I feel. So then how do I make
Speaker 2: it right? And it's so confusing And so I love
Speaker 2: the pink. I love the pink.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just a little pink area. I'm just I love it.
Speaker 2: Renee, You've been so vulnerable, so gracious, so kind of
Speaker 2: your time today. I'm so grateful to get to know
Speaker 2: you today, and thank you for letting us into your mind.
Speaker 2: You know, I really feel when I was sitting with
Speaker 2: you today, I was like, you really just kind of
Speaker 2: opened up your mind and let us walk in. And
Speaker 2: I appreciate that because it's hard to do that. And
Speaker 2: I felt like you opened up some cupboards and some drawers,
Speaker 2: you know. But Renee, we end every on Purpose episode
Speaker 2: with a fast five. These final five have to be
Speaker 2: answered in one word to one sentence maximum. I may
Speaker 2: ask you to expand and I'll let you know. All right, So, Renee,
Speaker 2: these are your final five or fast five. Question one,
Speaker 2: what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: Integrity over everything?
Speaker 2: M okay, great. Second question, what is the worst advice
Speaker 2: you've ever heard or received? Oh?
Speaker 1: Just stop trying to care? My god, you see hear that.
Speaker 2: All the time, going, yeah, you are gonna care?
Speaker 1: Like, are you kidding me? Now? I care more because
Speaker 1: I care about not caring. Ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Oh god, that's a good one. We've never had that
Speaker 2: on the show before. I like that, all right. Question
Speaker 2: number three, what's the part of yourself that you're most
Speaker 2: deeply trying to love?
Speaker 1: This is very two things for me. First, first and
Speaker 1: foremost my mistakes, things that I've done that I don't
Speaker 1: agree with, the things that I've done that I'm not
Speaker 1: proud of. I'm trying to like make peace with them,
Speaker 1: I guess is a better word, and do better from them.
Speaker 1: And second, like, honestly is somebody like.
Speaker 3: With incredible incredible you know, lengths of difficulty of eating disorders,
Speaker 3: like my like body and like the like skin that
Speaker 3: I like live in and like my like vessel that
Speaker 3: I just like operate in.
Speaker 1: Very very hard for me, so hard.
Speaker 2: For me, Thank you. Okay. Question number four, what's something
Speaker 2: that you think people value but you don't really value keeping.
Speaker 1: It cool all the time?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Interesting, I'm very pro and this is just who I am.
Speaker 1: And I guess maybe how I was raised or high work,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I love to just like let your
Speaker 1: emotions get the best of themselves sometimes. I think that's
Speaker 1: really important, at least it is for me. I'm very
Speaker 1: very anti keep it in and deal with it and
Speaker 1: like try to regulate your emotions. I think that like,
Speaker 1: if you need them to be big in a way,
Speaker 1: let them be big in a way that feels like
Speaker 1: safe and careful for like yourself and the people you're around,
Speaker 1: because if not, then that's just so stupid.
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: I was shamed for so many years. This is not
Speaker 1: a short answer. I was shamed for so many years
Speaker 1: of my life for being so hyper emotional and crying
Speaker 1: so much and like getting angry so fast. And that
Speaker 1: is something I just I don't value the like being
Speaker 1: quiet and like the controlling your emotions and keeping things
Speaker 1: at bay. I value like being very true to how
Speaker 1: you feel, whether that's a good feeling or not.
Speaker 2: That's powerful. Yeah, And how have you found a way
Speaker 2: of doing that in a way that it doesn't you
Speaker 2: said you said a statement you're like to be mindful of,
Speaker 2: Like you didn't say mindful what you said to be
Speaker 2: aware of how it affects yourself and people your love, Like,
Speaker 2: how do you kind of get that? Because sometimes, like
Speaker 2: you said, an emotion could be so big and so
Speaker 2: real and so visceral. But then how do you kind
Speaker 2: of how have you found a way to do that,
Speaker 2: or at least how are you trying to find a
Speaker 2: way to do that.
Speaker 1: I have in beating myself up less. I'm not like
Speaker 1: a physical danger to myself, which is great because I
Speaker 1: used to like get really really really angry, and like
Speaker 1: I would, like you know, so many people do. I
Speaker 1: don't know like what it is or what it isn't.
Speaker 1: My dad and I have talked about this at length,
Speaker 1: because he said he did the same things as I
Speaker 1: did as a kid. But like I would either like
Speaker 1: like bang my head against the wall or like like
Speaker 1: hit my arms or things like that, or like tweak
Speaker 1: out or freak out, and the more I've stopped like
Speaker 1: beating myself up for it, and the more I've just
Speaker 1: been like, oh, these are just things that I feel,
Speaker 1: and I feel in a really big way. And the
Speaker 1: more I'm around people who allow me to feel in
Speaker 1: a big way, the less I hurt myself, the less
Speaker 1: I like feel the need to like bang my head
Speaker 1: against so all. I feel like if I'm around somebody
Speaker 1: who's like, oh, this is upsetting you, that's okay, that's
Speaker 1: that upsets you, I don't even get to that point.
Speaker 1: So for me, it's about like the company I keep
Speaker 1: and the things that people are saying to me. That
Speaker 1: being said, I also know that like certain people in
Speaker 1: my life, like my mom, for instance, is the greatest.
Speaker 1: My mom does not like to see me incredibly upset
Speaker 1: all the time. And that's not to say she can't
Speaker 1: deal with me upset, but that is to say that
Speaker 1: I'm an adult and I know that I don't want
Speaker 1: to put my mother through turmoil every day by calling
Speaker 1: her and telling the telling her the ten things that
Speaker 1: upset me, because she lives three thousand miles away from
Speaker 1: me and will panic, you know. So it's like it's
Speaker 1: about going to the right people and I go to her,
Speaker 1: of course, but like not in a way that he's
Speaker 1: gonna upset her or hurt her day, because I you know,
Speaker 1: she's my mama. But yeah, yeah, I think the company
Speaker 1: keep is important.
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question, if you could create wels to
Speaker 2: every single guest who's ever been on. If you could
Speaker 2: create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,
Speaker 2: what would it be?
Speaker 1: What's a law?
Speaker 2: A law? What is that my accent, my accident? Yeah, folklore? Law?
Speaker 1: That is the right law? Law at no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: say lore, I like it.
Speaker 4: Law.
Speaker 1: What is one law or law that I would like
Speaker 1: everybody to follow. I grew up in North Carolina, I
Speaker 1: grew up in the South. Like I would love like
Speaker 1: a law where everybody was just like not so hateful personally.
Speaker 1: I would love that the town that I grew up in,
Speaker 1: like you drive right out of the neighborhood and that's
Speaker 1: like a dangerous place for like friends of mine to
Speaker 1: be in. I would love if we just like maybe
Speaker 1: weren't like incredibly hateful.
Speaker 2: That's a good look. Renee wrap everyone's snow angel. I'm
Speaker 2: so grateful to have your time and energy, and I
Speaker 2: know everyone's going to be streaming more and more, and
Speaker 2: I can't wait to have you back on years from
Speaker 2: now and to learn more about what you've unlearned, what
Speaker 2: you've learned, what you've gained wisdom along the way. I'm
Speaker 2: to hear about your brother too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's a cute Thanks.
Speaker 2: I love it. Renee, thank you so much. And everyone's
Speaker 2: been listening or watching. Make sure that you tag Renee
Speaker 2: and I with the things that stood out to you,
Speaker 2: the words that came from her that meant something to you.
Speaker 2: Maybe you've had similar experiences or things you've been through
Speaker 2: that you want to share back with us. Please do
Speaker 2: tag both of us across TikTok, Instagram, and across any
Speaker 2: social media platform that you're using to make sure that
Speaker 2: we see it. Renee, thank you so much again.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm you're the sweeterest.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, such a sweetheart.
Speaker 2: Such a pleasure.
Speaker 1: Thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my conversation with
Speaker 2: Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be
Speaker 2: confident from the inside out.
Speaker 4: My therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for
Speaker 4: five minutes. It was already tough for me to love
Speaker 4: my body, but after the C section scarf with all
Speaker 4: the stretch marks. Now I'm looking at myself like I've
Speaker 4: been hacked. But day three, when I did it, I
Speaker 4: was like, you know what, her thigh is a cute