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Speaker 1: You're ready. I'm ready. Everybody's ready. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 1: episode of Altim. That's right, you're listening to it. You've

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Speaker 1: got nothing better to do, and God bless you because

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Speaker 1: this is the only thing you should be doing. I'm

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Speaker 1: your guest host, Joey got I don't know. I still

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Speaker 1: can't say my last thing. I don't know what's up

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. He is out there fighting the good fight.

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Speaker 1: He apparently has been shrunk down to the size of

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Speaker 1: an atom and inside my body right now fighting up

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Speaker 1: some virus that also he injected me with. So we'll

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Speaker 1: see how this goes. But I think he's doing good.

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Speaker 1: I haven't felt him kicking around, but I know he's there.

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Speaker 1: We got a crazy show today. We got the court.

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Speaker 1: We got the people that you want, the people that

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Speaker 1: you need, the people that sing to your eyeballs and

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Speaker 1: come out your ears. I'm talking about the loveliest. Let's

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Speaker 1: get right to it. Jackie Ruth, how are you, Joey.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing great. I feel energized, electrified. I'm feeling really good.

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Speaker 1: You're coming You're coming out with great energy and you're

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Speaker 1: receiving it. I'm taking it right into the chest. And

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Speaker 1: the reason I got this energy is because I have

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Speaker 1: a one time offer I want to give everybody right now,

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Speaker 1: What would it be like to be your own boss? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What would it be like to be your own boss?

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Speaker 1: I'm asking just as right now, and I can get

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Speaker 1: you on a track that's gonna make you a superstar.

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Speaker 1: What do you say? Can I do it in installments?

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Speaker 1: Then we've got an issue. Okay, alright, but I want

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Speaker 1: it and I think it's a great idea. Let me

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Speaker 1: see if I can get a couple of friends, maybe

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Speaker 1: we can pull together and become our own bosses together.

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Speaker 1: I love that. All right, Let's get to the next cutie.

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Speaker 1: It's James, Henny, James, how are you? I got a

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Speaker 1: question for you? How would you like to be your

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Speaker 1: own boss? How would I like to be my own boss? Well?

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Speaker 1: I am my own boss. I don't have a job

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Speaker 1: per se, but well, I'm the boss of my own

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Speaker 1: time management, and god is it. I'm a tough boss

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Speaker 1: because the boss really wants to play dead by daylight

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Speaker 1: a lot. And it's hard when I'm like, God, Boss,

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of other stuff I need to

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Speaker 1: get done, and boss man me is like, well, there's

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Speaker 1: daily challenges and dead by daylight, and if you don't

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Speaker 1: get those done, then you can't get a new one

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Speaker 1: for tomorrow. Okay, so are you hiring or But you

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Speaker 1: know what's really more important than all the I'm looking

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Speaker 1: here and I got a couple of weeks ago, I

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Speaker 1: complained about how we didn't have any reviews to read,

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Speaker 1: and they just started pouring in. Let me just share

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Speaker 1: one with you, and this one's from ryland Um and

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Speaker 1: it's the title of the podcast of the reef five

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Speaker 1: star review is my favorite podcast, alchemy. This is just

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Speaker 1: fun to listen to the entire cast and all the

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Speaker 1: guests are consistently hilarious. My vibes have improved and my

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Speaker 1: skin has gotten smoother since I've started listening. I'll save

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Speaker 1: the other ones for some other time, but they're great.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Just keep it rolling in. That's great. That

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Speaker 1: that kind of positive energy. That's the wave, if you will.

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Speaker 1: They were riding all the way next to our surfer

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Speaker 1: in house, Chris, and this serves up I got a

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Speaker 1: question for you now. I'm working for James and things

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Speaker 1: are going well, but our warehouses running low on some

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Speaker 1: PC pieces. What's the best thing you got for me,

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Speaker 1: because all I have is six thousand dollars. What can

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Speaker 1: I trade? Okay, you can get yourself a slightly used

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Speaker 1: but very functional bark lift. Okay, help with our PC?

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Speaker 1: Right and now is it diesel? You know it? Blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Oh man, I'm in the great mood.

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Speaker 1: Oh that motor is drowning. Okay. And speaking of droning,

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Speaker 1: we have the king of lung capacity. That's right, Craig Cowski. Creig,

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Speaker 1: you hold the world record for longest breath held at

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Speaker 1: a live show. That was sixty minutes in twelve seconds.

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Speaker 1: It was a little taste of what went into the

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Speaker 1: mindset of that feet. Well, that was it was an

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Speaker 1: improv show. First of all. That was a It was

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Speaker 1: a two person improv show. My wife Carla uh delivered

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Speaker 1: the first line. I then held my breath for sixty

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Speaker 1: four minutes, and the waves of laughter were interesting because

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Speaker 1: I think at first people were stunned, um, and then

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Speaker 1: I think people just started uncomfortably laughing of like he's

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Speaker 1: not gonna say anything, He's just holding his breath. And

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Speaker 1: then I think people were impressed by the feet for

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Speaker 1: my feet, because I'd never wear shoes in performance. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and so they kind of focused down there. Then I

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Speaker 1: think people went to the bar and started getting drinks. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then uh and then just like uh, and then

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Speaker 1: I think people were concerned. Paramedics showed up at at

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Speaker 1: one point, and then I kind of like fended them

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Speaker 1: off with a you know, a well placed index finger

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Speaker 1: because I was still holding the breath. Um, Carla got nervous,

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Speaker 1: started trying to improvise a round the moment. UH drops

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Speaker 1: character a few times, like asked crash okay, okay. But

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Speaker 1: by the end of the show. Um, First of all,

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Speaker 1: there was like two herald teams like in the wings,

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Speaker 1: angry because we've gone over time over time at this point.

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Speaker 1: But the Guinness people showed up and gave me a

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Speaker 1: a plaque at the end when I let the bread out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then I delivered the perfect response to her opening line.

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Speaker 1: That's what it is. That's why he's the goat. I

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Speaker 1: only take an hour in five minutes to think of

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Speaker 1: every line of dialogue. But it's it's on point. I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you what. When it's delivered, it's there's nothing sweeter

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Speaker 1: a little edible arrangement for writing. Thanks for writing that

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Speaker 1: monologue for me. By the way, all our scene suggestions

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Speaker 1: are flying in from people who are really these are bots, okay,

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Speaker 1: these are human beings that are writing these things. Given

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Speaker 1: it to us being like, hey, I got a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you try right, and then we read it

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Speaker 1: and guess what, it was a great idea. So if

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Speaker 1: you want your idea read on your life like this,

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Speaker 1: send it to us. There's two ways for you to

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Speaker 1: do it. The first, which is what we appreciate it

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Speaker 1: to Patreon, give a dollar, give a hundred thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: give whatever you can give. All right, we're gonna put

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Speaker 1: you in a priority bracket. We're gonna read those suggestions first.

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Speaker 1: But if you can't spare the change, I totally get it.

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Speaker 1: There's still a pandemic. We got an email you can

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Speaker 1: send it to, and that email is Alchemy. This email

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com, once again dot com. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is why people aren't able to email. It's just

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Speaker 1: hard to hear. So let's do this, all right. We

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Speaker 1: got our first suggestion from an alcmaniac Patreon baby I

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Speaker 1: like to see it, Nikolas Makawa, and the scene suggestion

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Speaker 1: is such someone who can't recall a certain word, place,

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Speaker 1: or movie and can't ever let it go simply the

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Speaker 1: best Nicolas. No, I don't really travel much, but that's

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Speaker 1: really cool that that you do. That's that's great. Um,

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Speaker 1: I mean like against travel. I just like with work

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Speaker 1: and everything else is so busy, it's hard to get

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Speaker 1: any free time. Not that I wouldn't want to travel

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Speaker 1: with you, Not that I'm saying we would go traveling.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, sure, are you? Are you talking? Yes? I'm

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Speaker 1: going on a first date in just a moment, and

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm a little nervous. Yeah. Yeah, I've been running

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Speaker 1: security at this moll for about six years, see a

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Speaker 1: lot of first dates, you know. I bet? I bet? Bet?

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Speaker 1: Do you have like a do you have like a

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Speaker 1: like a like a walking pattern? You start like a

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Speaker 1: certain store, go to a certain like pretzels are like

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Speaker 1: what's the best way to get the most out of

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Speaker 1: my day at this mall? Oh? You want me to

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Speaker 1: deputize you? No? No, I just mean, like, do you

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Speaker 1: know if there's a more romantic pattern, like you know,

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Speaker 1: Victoria's secret. That's too much, but let maybe like a

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Speaker 1: hot topic or something. Yeah, the most romantic thing I

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Speaker 1: can think of is that, Well, there's that key making

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Speaker 1: kiosks you can go to. Okay, and then and then

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Speaker 1: what what would you say next after that? I guess

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Speaker 1: had hit up the jubies. Oh yeah, that's fun. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and then for what at Wessel's Pretzels? Two for one

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Speaker 1: at Wessel's Pretzels? Fuck? Anti Enne can get out of here, Antienne,

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Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta handle this. Break get up, break

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Speaker 1: it up, breaking. What are you doing giving two for one?

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Speaker 1: I told you that's our deal. Anyone could do with

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Speaker 1: two for one? Anti Anne? Come now, Mr Wetzel, Mrs Anna.

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Speaker 1: This is a family mall, This is family. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: make family pretzels for a family mall. Now let's get

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Speaker 1: this pretzel situation under good show. Okay. I called DIBs

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Speaker 1: on two for once. I said he could have fifty.

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Speaker 1: I said that he could do any other kind of deal.

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Speaker 1: And I had dips on two for one. What's gonna

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Speaker 1: make any difference between Westels and anti Enn's If it's

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Speaker 1: not our special centertists signed this food court to put

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Speaker 1: the two of us right next to each other, then

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Speaker 1: who cares? Okay, that's the way God intended it, because

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Speaker 1: this is a Christian family. Mall all right, praise Jesus.

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Speaker 1: Hey hi, Oh, oh my god, it's you. It's you.

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Speaker 1: It's your your your name is um. Oh my god. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is good, this is good. I'm all like, what's

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Speaker 1: your name? Yeah? Oh god, let me check the apple. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I get, just tell you, I get, just tell me,

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Speaker 1: just tell me to varus. Oh that's why I've never

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Speaker 1: heard those syllables together. That's funny. So I have a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a plan. It's not just meet me

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Speaker 1: at the mall. I couldn't have a little really, Wow,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna start running here at this key ask See

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Speaker 1: it's like a playoff. It's a kiosk, but it's like

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Speaker 1: they make keys here. And I was thinking I would

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Speaker 1: give you the key to like to like my heart. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I think that's kind of too soon for sure. See.

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Speaker 1: When I was traveling in Madrid, I always thought to myself,

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Speaker 1: there's no reason to have locked doors and and and

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Speaker 1: I think the keys represent putting up walls between you

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Speaker 1: to travel. I would like to travel, but I don't

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Speaker 1: get to travel lot because of work. But I would

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Speaker 1: like to travel sometime I'm not with you, not to

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Speaker 1: say that you're Travis Trevors. Travis please, Oh I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: Trevoris Trevors. Listen. That sounded like a canned response. I

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Speaker 1: just want to be in the moment with you. You

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Speaker 1: need some keys, some keys made? Yeah, we do. Actually,

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Speaker 1: how about we'll start with one friendship key. I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't need to know what there for. Just hand

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Speaker 1: hand me the key, sir, I don't want a key.

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Speaker 1: You can make a key for him. Okay. When I

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Speaker 1: traveled in Madrid, I said, as I was saying earlier,

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Speaker 1: I think keys are just a sign of locking yourself away.

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Speaker 1: And went out in Paris. But sorry, I I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about the death of my dad. What what were

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Speaker 1: we saying? Never mind, we're gonna head over to zoo.

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Speaker 1: He let's go to z No, no, no, no, no, no. First,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, we're gonna have to shut down the kioskar.

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Speaker 1: You just keep forgetting to pay on time. I'm sorry, sorry,

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Speaker 1: what so we're just thinking about my dad? Said, it's

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Speaker 1: been a tough year. How's he doing here? How's he doing? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You were at the Fugere at the funeral. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I forgot I forgot you gave me a big hug

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Speaker 1: at the funeral. I forgot I did that. I'm sorry, Bruce.

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Speaker 1: It's alright, it happens. It happens. What what were you saying? Um?

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Speaker 1: That was I saying? Uh uh, I don't remember. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there's a space that's available. You wanna you wanna take

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Speaker 1: over the the old foot locker. I mean if if

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Speaker 1: we go to a full size store kind of negates

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Speaker 1: the name of the kiosk. And I was thinking maybe

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Speaker 1: we can get a little bite. I was thinking pretzel,

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Speaker 1: perhaps many as I would get one wet cels. Get

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Speaker 1: a pretzel, Get a pretzel. Oh that's a good sales pitch.

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Speaker 1: Are you buy pretzel? Get a pretzel? Wet sols? Are

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Speaker 1: you any any ants who doesn't love their auntie? Are

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Speaker 1: you in any inn? Or you a wetzel person? We

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Speaker 1: got cheese, we got dips. I did mind my dough

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Speaker 1: and butter and then I roll it in and sugar. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what a sweet pretzel pretzel. Oh. Ever, since I got

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Speaker 1: back from Germany, I just don't like none of the

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Speaker 1: pet here. You get this hot dog on a stick.

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Speaker 1: Even worse like in Germany when I was traveling there,

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Speaker 1: they have way better, hot dog. I think he's like

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Speaker 1: robbing us, But I think I think this is that's right,

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Speaker 1: that's right, right dog, shepherded a right dog. Oh why

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Speaker 1: didn't they sharpened? Do what he says? Says this happens

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Speaker 1: a hundred times a day. Oh ahead, give me everything.

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Speaker 1: You get your heart, I got your key now, motherfucker.

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Speaker 1: Um I, there's there's been an issue. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how long the lady is going to be in Nordstrom.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how long I have to fix this problem.

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Speaker 1: But um, I was parking the yards and a guy

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Speaker 1: came up and he held me up, and he took

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Speaker 1: the keys, and he stole the car and I was

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Speaker 1: in danger. So I didn't do anything. You hated that car.

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Speaker 1: I hated the car, and now it got stolen out

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Speaker 1: of as. I don't have any preference about the cars

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Speaker 1: I will value. You said it was a stupid ball,

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Speaker 1: that's what you said, Valley park anything. It's just electric hybrid,

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Speaker 1: straight up gas diesel. Gosh, if you want to fill

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Speaker 1: it up with like, just drown it in diesel, you

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Speaker 1: can go ahead. Gorgy, Gorgy, I'm sick of this, Gorgy.

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Speaker 1: You constantly get these things stolen or lost. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: but there is a woman who has been left at Nordstrom.

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Speaker 1: She's looking around. She doesn't know where to go or

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Speaker 1: what to do. If this is your woman at Nordstrom,

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Speaker 1: please help her. God bless you, may Jesus save your lives.

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Speaker 1: Jesus say, is that your Nortrom lady? I mean it

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Speaker 1: could be if she's the woman who owns the rs anymore,

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Speaker 1: it's stolen, the thief owns the yours. Now, I told

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Speaker 1: you when I was born into this family that I

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Speaker 1: did not want to be on ballet duty. I told

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Speaker 1: you that I would be better in a kiosk gorgy.

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Speaker 1: This is a Christian family, mall family run. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: praise Jesus. I heard that announcement. I think I might

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Speaker 1: have left a woman at Nordstrom. Okay, okay, it's just

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Speaker 1: your wife. Yeah, yeah, great, great, it's if you've got

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Speaker 1: these ministairs, it's not a full flight, it's just like

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Speaker 1: it's a half. Then you enter the North Show and

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Speaker 1: it'll it'll pop you in the men's department and you'll

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Speaker 1: get confused. But if you keep going past that, you'll

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Speaker 1: hit shoes and then they'll be an escalator. And you

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Speaker 1: can take that down and there's that's where the Ladies

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Speaker 1: is going to be. The Ladies depart, but you don't

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Speaker 1: know where specifically. My lady is within Nordstrom. Yeah, yo,

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Speaker 1: yo yo. And check out what I coughed at the

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Speaker 1: fucking mall today. I look at this huh free free

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Speaker 1: there's just a ball. It's garbage car. Damn, it's like

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Speaker 1: a ball. Yeah. I mean if they were giving away

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Speaker 1: three cars, I guess, but like i'd return it. I

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Speaker 1: return that gets something better than yours. You should return it? Yeah, right, student?

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Speaker 1: And what's up with this holies? Just like a hundred

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Speaker 1: Bibles in the back seat? Man? What the I don't

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Speaker 1: know missing a Bible car. Let me look at one

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Speaker 1: of them. What does it say? What does it say?

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Speaker 1: Oh jinks? What it starts with Genesis? I love Genesis,

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Speaker 1: that band from the all right, all right, all right,

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Speaker 1: all right, A long time ago in this galaxy there

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Speaker 1: was nothing and then oh my god, this is really

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Speaker 1: touching story. Well, um, I guess we've made it to

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Speaker 1: the luggage and leather store kind of the last. This

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Speaker 1: is stopping them all. This was perfect. I love traveling. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: we want yes, yes, yes, please, do you want to

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Speaker 1: say a bag? Yes? Please? So earlier you couldn't remember

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Speaker 1: my name, and I thought it was gonna be a

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Speaker 1: whole thing, but it's not really. I don't know, just

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to turn into something, but

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Speaker 1: I'm glad it didn't. You know, I think that you're special.

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Speaker 1: I think that you're like an incredibly human being. You've

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Speaker 1: made a plan at a mall for us to go through,

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Speaker 1: and it's been I don't know. I was expecting us

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Speaker 1: to just, you know, go to the mall, get some

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Speaker 1: food and then buy Forever, but instead we've connected and

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Speaker 1: then buy Forever Divars Bruce Bruce from the Kiosk. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, key the Kiosk. Yeah, I got your

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh you left, you left. Most people

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Speaker 1: don't leave. The keys are ready and under three minutes

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Speaker 1: typically a great. Um, sorry, my mind wonders sometimes because

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Speaker 1: I lost my dad how long ago this year? That's

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Speaker 1: you know, we're all gonna go sometime. Yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: I can't. I can't let it got you well, um

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Speaker 1: basically key, great, it's uh two dollars two dollars, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, of course, there you go. There's five. Okay, so, um,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to be excited about this. I'm actually

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Speaker 1: really sad. Uncle Decklan's heart attack has actually impeded his

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Speaker 1: a lot of his physical function. Um, you know, because

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't just wait for people to come back to

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Speaker 1: his chaosk He'd run after them and find them. And

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Speaker 1: his heart was already like half broken because of his

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Speaker 1: father's passing. And basically, um, there's a position at the

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Speaker 1: chaos that's open this mannequin. Yeah, I'm having a meeting

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Speaker 1: with my father boss later. I'm just kidding. I'm a

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Speaker 1: I'm a secret shopper, so I look I would, I

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Speaker 1: look like like a civilian, but I'm actually working. Oh

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Speaker 1: I I work here. I don't know if you should

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Speaker 1: tell me that. And I work in them mall, I

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Speaker 1: don't work at this North were then we're fine. Secrets.

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Speaker 1: I'm the mannequin. I just usually I found and that

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Speaker 1: stuff verse. See Brenda, we found you, Brenda, we found Brenda.

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Speaker 1: We found maybe each scencident with a little song. But

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Speaker 1: that's that's just warm vibe right now, thank God, Brendan.

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Speaker 1: Poor poor Glorgy Porgy just not getting it all right.

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Speaker 1: Our second suggestion are you kidding me? Another alchemaniac. That's right,

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Speaker 1: this is from dog or Dougie. Hey, alchemists, I've got

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00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 1: a closet filled with various bread lobes. Let me know

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Speaker 1: if anyone's looking seen suggestion. A winner from the hit

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Speaker 1: TV show Yo Mama, hosted by Wilmer Valderrama just can't

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Speaker 1: let go of that life. See you around the crab

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Speaker 1: King of Kansas. So you just fill out form either

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Speaker 1: form two for one A or two for one B,

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Speaker 1: depending on your specific needs. We have a notary on site.

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00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 1: We can take care of that, and then you will

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Speaker 1: be pre nupt. You will be pre nup, dud. Is

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Speaker 1: there someone else we can sign with? Yeah? Can I help?

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Speaker 1: Am I not serving your needs? No? I just I

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Speaker 1: know you were on the Yo Mam Michelle, weren't you?

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Speaker 1: I saw you all the episodes got dropped on Hulu.

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Speaker 1: I just you know I didn't see I didn't see

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Speaker 1: a single dime from that drop. Isn't that a thing

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Speaker 1: as a contestant? Yeah, I mean they're using you thought

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00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 1: you signed a contract to Yeah that I mean you

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Speaker 1: send your life. Tell me about contracts? Looking at me? Now?

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Speaker 1: I'm in family law, So this prenup is pretty standard.

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Speaker 1: This is this is your Is it standard? Is it

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Speaker 1: standard to have a prenup? Or is it offensive? Oh?

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Speaker 1: My god? Is it standard? Or is it offensive? You

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Speaker 1: have all the money. I'm doing this out to show

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Speaker 1: you that I love you. Okay, I'm doing this to

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Speaker 1: show that I love I didn't ask you to do that.

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Speaker 1: Oh your mom was so poor? Should be like prenup?

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Speaker 1: What so the standard? You have? These two forms here notary,

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Speaker 1: take care of it, and then you too are on

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Speaker 1: your way. I just want you to trust me, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not here for your money. I do

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Speaker 1: trust you. That's why I don't need a prenup. I

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Speaker 1: oh my god, but what if you find someone better

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Speaker 1: and you want a divorce, and what's gonna happen. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna get anything. And that's because I love you.

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Speaker 1: But you're not gonna get anything with this prenup. I

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Speaker 1: know that's because I love you. That's you too. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why we're fighting. Oh well yeah, yo, it's

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Speaker 1: like it's like it's like it's like your mama trust

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Speaker 1: you so much, she don't need no signatures. So and

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Speaker 1: you won that show? Yeah, well, my episode. In my episode,

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Speaker 1: give me anyway, there's a notary right over there were

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Speaker 1: you gonna ask this first suggestion? But you know this

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Speaker 1: is okay. I gotta work. I gotta for you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's all right for you, fiancee. You doesn't really give

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Speaker 1: a fuck? How is this? I don't know how you're spinning?

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Speaker 1: Need to be the villain once again, Dylan, this is

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Speaker 1: kind of what you do. And you know what, my

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Speaker 1: therapist warned me about getting into another thing exactly like

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Speaker 1: the last of course, your therapist, which I totally support.

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Speaker 1: I want to do a couple of therapy, but you

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Speaker 1: said not yet and until we're married. You know, I

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Speaker 1: am fine doing couples therapy for Mary, but we need

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Speaker 1: to find a separate therapist. We need to find someone

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Speaker 1: who's our couple. You're just trying to come into my

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Speaker 1: therapy sessions. Those are for me. It's like it's like

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Speaker 1: it's like your mom was so supportive. She's gonna do

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Speaker 1: anything it takes to make this relationship work. You stopped.

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Speaker 1: What do these learn your mama's I'm not her mother?

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Speaker 1: Are you not? Though? What? Wow? What the hell can

387
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 1: we get on someone else to sign this? Police can

388
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: we can just get sorry, do you need some help? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Ted ted back off, dude, what what do you You

390
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Speaker 1: might recognize me as a three time Jeopardy champion? Oh

391
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Speaker 1: my god, this is Fittsburger. I won thy but Thursday,

392
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Speaker 1: Wednesday's final Jeopardy Mount Rushmore like okay, like, who didn't

393
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Speaker 1: know that? Well, that's right. The categories about Rushboard. The

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00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: answer was we are the fourheads on Mount Rushmore. That's

395
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: a weird question. Were question answer, We're a question three

396
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Speaker 1: days in a row. Though. That's bad, not bad, not

397
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Speaker 1: not good enough to get into the Tournament of Champions,

398
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Speaker 1: but a decent showing. No no, but I mean, so,

399
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Speaker 1: how much money did you make? If you don't mind me,

400
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: it was about here we go, it was about forty

401
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: grand and then half of that goes uh in taxes

402
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 1: and uh and then I flew myself to to Los

403
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: Angeles from from Braid intent and yourself. I put myself

404
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: up yeah yeah, so uh yeah, alr you t How

405
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Speaker 1: you doing good? Good good good? Okay, Okay, this is Sam.

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Speaker 1: I'm over here a Jeopardy and one of the producers

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Speaker 1: want touch basically right before we get everything coming, how

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00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: are you feeling good good. I mean, uh, got a

409
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: good got a good meal in first class. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's that's I've never flown first class before,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I figured while I'm out here to

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Speaker 1: do the show, might as well treat myself now at

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Speaker 1: the hotel that we had booked for you. I'm so

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Speaker 1: sorry they had to cancel. Yeah, so we're not gonna

415
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Speaker 1: renaissance the Renaissance in in downtown Burbank is uh say

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00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: like that? Are you the are you the announcer as well? Oh,

417
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to tip my hand, but

418
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: Jeopardy I hear it though. I hear it though, So

419
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: you're also a p a on the show. I am

420
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: so um it's it's a tight chip here, Mr Trebeca.

421
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 1: You know he runs a tight chip. So we all

422
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: got can't wait to meet Alex. Oh it's he's he's

423
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: such a good guy. He's he's a good guy. So

424
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: ted anyway, I'm sorry about that. And this is gonna

425
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: stupid driver who's supposed to the scoop you to bring

426
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: you a set um. He he has stabbed himself in

427
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: the chest. Yeah, so he's not gonna be able to

428
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: He's a little leaky Fawton. Amen. Hey, hey Wilmer, It's

429
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 1: it's me. Remember me. I was on that show with

430
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 1: you your mom. Oh my god, oh my god, what

431
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: are you doing in my house? You some the accent

432
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: is just like a thing that's doing in my house.

433
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 1: It's just ev Yeah, jeez, you're in your bathroom. It's

434
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: it's six pm. Are you well? I was thinking, so

435
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: you're lucky Ham in the bathroom. What do you want

436
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: to be? Who's that? Give me a second? Yeah, Ashton

437
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: Kutcher to Ashton Kulcher, Hey, I was one of the winners.

438
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: I mom, talk um, I just feel weird and I

439
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 1: wanted to come and talk to you about somebody's door.

440
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: I don't mean that. I mean you're the only one

441
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: who gets what I'm going through, right Like, I'm sure

442
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 1: that your Mama show was still inside of you in

443
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 1: some way. Right. No, the whole thing's a ruse. I

444
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: was never even into it. I had a bunch of

445
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: stuff I pitched, but that's what they picked. Do your

446
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 1: mama so disappointed in you? What? Oh? Come in come back?

447
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: And said, as she put some tea on, thank you

448
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: calf for no calf happy. I got happy Timmy. I

449
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 1: got a constant comment, a happy Timmy better than happy Tommy.

450
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: Thank you here, let's getting bicycle X out. Thank you.

451
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: I just I think I peeked. I think my episode

452
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 1: I peaked, and everything since then it's been down the hill.

453
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I went to law school, I got a degree,

454
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: I started my own firm. I'm doing well financially, but

455
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 1: emotionally I am empty. And those your mama jokes, I mean, hey,

456
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: yours were always terrible. It was an anomaly that you

457
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: were able to win that. Yeah, it was an anomaly. Honestly,

458
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 1: it was pretty rewarding to me because I thought the

459
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: show was never gonna work when I pitched it, and

460
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: for you to win kind of proved all the reasons

461
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: I thought it would. I just can't believe you don't

462
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: have that accent in real life. I don't you know what.

463
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: I honestly, I would take the accent, Dylan. I can't

464
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 1: believe that. I am so lucky to get to stand

465
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: in front of all of our beautiful friends Hi, Krista Hey,

466
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: Lonnie Hey, Francis Hey, Chris Hey, Rachel Hey, Crystal, Adam,

467
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, and our gorgeous family Mom du I

468
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: love you so much. Thank you so good. Oh Aunt Becky. Incredible,

469
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: and I'm just so lucky to be here and to

470
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: tell them and you how much I love you and

471
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: how much. Okay, there you are. Oh my god, you're

472
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: talking to this mannequin for you. Okay, you have to

473
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: get over to the church. Should my friends and family

474
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: go first? Yes? Of course? Where are you? Like? This

475
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,479
Speaker 1: is crazy? Let's go so that I can still have

476
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: my Grandf've already see you. Dylan's over there, he's he's

477
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: freaking out. I'm just practicing. It's just practice. It's not

478
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: a big deal. It's not like creepy or weird. I

479
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: think it was, but it's like a TikTok. Time to go. Okay, well,

480
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 1: if listen, strike up the band, Dylan, Dylan, I'm sure

481
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: she's coming. I'm sure she's going. I'm a I'm a priest,

482
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: says you know, see this all the time. Why do

483
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: you keep saying that? Why do you keep saying that?

484
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: Are you really a priest? What a question? What a

485
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: question to ask? Now? If you look in Ecclesiastics four

486
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: to it tells us that patience is a virtue. Patience

487
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 1: is a virtually being a priest, I know a lot

488
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: about patience. Oh, Dylan, Dylan, I'm so sorry. I'm oh

489
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: father mackay, he is here, McCain a reading from Genesis

490
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: A long time ago in a galaxy. Mr Williams, it's

491
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: so nice to see you, Crystal. I went to college

492
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: with your daughter. This is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous venue. Everything

493
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: it looks like it's your name. I'm her dad. Everybody's

494
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: charged by the accent her dad. I was in a

495
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: room with a mannequin and her dad. That ain't you?

496
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: But ignore that person. I am sorry you probably. I

497
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 1: just wanted to introduce myself to her dad. Go ahead.

498
00:30:54,480 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: If that's tell you it's not you. I'd like to

499
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: know your name. I'm holding my hand out to shake

500
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: your hand. Just tell me you are Crystal. Yeah, Crystal,

501
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: Crystal tobacc you nice. Nice to meet you. Nice to

502
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: meet you too. Mr Williams. Just want to introduced myself.

503
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm Ted. I wrote the wrote the prenup. You also

504
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: remember me from my three day stint? Yes, yes, actually

505
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: a four days because I lost. On the fourth day.

506
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: When I saw you, I said, who is that guy

507
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: from Jeopardy? Yeah? I think it's not her dad. I'm

508
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: her dad, my dad. You don't have a twenty do you?

509
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: You have a twenty bucks like I did? Really I

510
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: valeted and I should have. There was street parking, like

511
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: I saw street parking, but I felt pressure to val

512
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: a and then actually we don't have tedsphone. I'm sorry,

513
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: gonna get this Ted spoone tedsphone? All right, Ted? Are

514
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: you doing this? Is that salmon tucks? Uh? I'm going

515
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: because you need that tux back right now. You can

516
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: just take it off and move it on the floor.

517
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: It was a twenty four hour rental. I mean yeah,

518
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: it's like twenty four hours to the minute to the

519
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: minute to the minute. Now we're gonna need to take

520
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: that touch off and just chop it on the No, No,

521
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I gotta I gotta attend to wedding.

522
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: I wrote this. I wrote the predup there expecting me

523
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 1: that I don't thee Samon texted, I'm money that I

524
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: need the text on the floor, all right, Yo, mama,

525
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 1: Yo mama. It's actually a traditional to say forgive me father,

526
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: for I have sinned. That's how you start sorry that

527
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: you're a female priestess so much, yo, Mama, it's just

528
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: pretty scud to say priest highest of the priestess. Um, okay,

529
00:32:54,840 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: forgive me, mother, for I have sinned. What I've where

530
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: you want? I uh, I've done some terrible things, two

531
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: terrible people, which makes me feel like I'm doing the

532
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: right thing. M Yeah, So do are you? Do you

533
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: want forgiveness or are you not really repentant? Do you

534
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: feel like you're doing a good thing? Do you feel

535
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: like your mama so ugly she doesn't love you. I

536
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: don't think my mother's physical appearance has anything to do

537
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: with how she's so yellow she spits butter. Oh, and

538
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: that's the second thing. It's hard to do. It's hard

539
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 1: to do, and it's uh, you just love dragging the

540
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: first female Catholic. She's gonna get red and regardless, I

541
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: want to just acknowledge wilmur Valderrama was hard for me

542
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: to say. I got jumbled up there, so I'm gonna

543
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: get dragged online personally, I know it is Will wilmur Valderrama,

544
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: is your mama? Is that a real thing? Yes? That

545
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: was a real really had no idea that that person

546
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 1: or that show is a real thing. Okay, let's go

547
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: on our third and final scene from Alcmania. Kevin, Hey, alchemists,

548
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: exclamation point. Okay, Two things number one, Kevin, We the

549
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 1: fans miss you dearly while you were away. If nobody

550
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: else is gonna say it, then I will. Nobody is

551
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 1: so fearless to jump into a scene, even if they

552
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: don't belong more than you, Mr Pollock, and we love

553
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: you for it. And see what should be too, or

554
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 1: be or whatever. This argument about pumpkin pie, Chris, this

555
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: argument about pumpkin pie is more or less a disagreement

556
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 1: of what a pumpkin is. Bear with me because this

557
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: is about to get lengthy. Webster's Dictionary defines pumpkin pie

558
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: as scene suggestion aggressive in line. So here's what I'm thinking.

559
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 1: Here's it. I'm thinking, alright, we stop, we stop roller blading,

560
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: and we add a little punk rocketness to it and

561
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: just walk. No no, no, no no, do all the

562
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: things the skateboarders are doing on our roller blades. Oh,

563
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 1: I thought you said stop stop just speed skating. Man. Look,

564
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: if you don't want to be in, you don't have

565
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 1: to be in. Okay, So you're saying stop speed skating

566
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: and start listening to punk rock music. Yeah, listen, what

567
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: do you want me? I'm saying it's and this is

568
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: Venice Beach, California, and this is the crime place and

569
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: time to start a new extreme sport movement. Okay, but

570
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: you realize here in Venice Beach dogtown, if we go

571
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: out into that skate park with inline skates, we're gonna

572
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: get our asses skate. It's worth the risk, Harlow, It's

573
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: worth the risk. Okay, what was the punk rock part

574
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: that you know we're put on? Some gorgy can tell

575
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: you for a second. Yeah, it looks like we have

576
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: a couple of hooligans in there, some punkers, some satanists

577
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 1: who are skateboarding and doing some kind of roller blading

578
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: or I don't know what they're doing. Their goddamn knives

579
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: and they're just tearing up. No longer, I've actually no

580
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: longer in ballet service, so anything that happens in the

581
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 1: parking lot is actually no longer my jurisdiction. You know,

582
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: I put you back, I'm putting you back on. I'm

583
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,919
Speaker 1: putting back on ballet in the front of the house. Okay,

584
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: but um, actually I do really much better at the

585
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,959
Speaker 1: Kiosk I don't know if you know, but if those

586
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: punkers get inside the mall, we're not gonna have anything's

587
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,959
Speaker 1: to hold you understand, it's talk any more chaosks number

588
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: what those Prestels and those good damn culled Satanists psycho

589
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: fax coming in here and destroy what we have. It's

590
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: a Christian family mall. And forgive me for cursing, but

591
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 1: I appreciate you giving me so much, putting so much

592
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: faith in me and in my strength. But I have

593
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 1: to say, um as as as I am, I got

594
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: taken advantage of a lot. I mean I was on

595
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:19,320
Speaker 1: ballet for one day. Three cars got stolen, a total

596
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: of RS. And of course all the cars that I

597
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: heard you explicitly say are dumb. One of them looks

598
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: like just a rolled up there's a load, and then

599
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,439
Speaker 1: the other one looks like a box, like a long car.

600
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 1: But it's not a limo. Good sessh. Hey, look at

601
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: that guy over there, just sitting by himself. Why don't

602
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 1: we recruit him? I mean, I don't have any extra slow.

603
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: You need to get on board, dude. You see that

604
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: you're not on board? Okay, okay, okay, I mean a

605
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: sticky sitting with no S three style. I got my sisters. Yeah,

606
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 1: come on, what are you? What are you doing here?

607
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 1: This is my bench? Oh okay, hey, no disrespect, no suspect.

608
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: This is nine nine two in Venice, California. Oh, you

609
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: gotta tell us prime place in time to start a movement,

610
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: don't you think, sir? Oh what kind of movement? What

611
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: do you know about? What do you think about? These

612
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 1: inline skates? Yeah, that's right, that's right. Well I'm a

613
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm a size twelve and a half. That's pretty big.

614
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: Is that men's or women's? Good question, your mama? Oh perfectly. Yeah,

615
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: you are punk? So punk man, you're punk, Sir, you

616
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: are punk, and we are obviously punked, and we're here

617
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 1: to start a new movement called aggressive inline. Are you in? Okay?

618
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,760
Speaker 1: These are much smaller, but I'm just getting my feet

619
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: in there. Okay, alright, we're all strapped up. Now. We

620
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 1: just gotta come up with some names of tricks and start,

621
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: you know, making people see what we do. Are low

622
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 1: any thoughts about bleeding edge? Bleeding edge? Bro? So are you?

623
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,479
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about this, but we're gonna have to close

624
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: your store front. You're just not making the payments on time. First,

625
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: I'm sorry he uh. His last words to me were,

626
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. That's your last customer. But no, no,

627
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: my dad, how's he doing? My dad? How's it? How's

628
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: he doing? Yeah? You we held the wake at your house.

629
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: Oh my, I forgot. I forgot. What were you saying? Um? Oh? Yeah,

630
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,320
Speaker 1: we have We have that whole basement area completely vacated.

631
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: If you want to just take the kiosk. I like

632
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: the kiosk, do you do you? I mean keys made

633
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,959
Speaker 1: while you're here? No, I no, But it's a quarter

634
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: acre in the basement if you want that put your

635
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: shop down there. I don't know. I mean it's uh,

636
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: I pretty much just make keys and all I need is, uh,

637
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: you know, room to hang the keys. One of these

638
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 1: key making grinders, you know you name it after your dad.

639
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: How's it going? Grinder? Died? Um? Hey, hey, piece be

640
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: with you, piece be with you? Hot topic? Um, and

641
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: also with me? Can um? I'd be fitted for I'm

642
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: like on security detail now. I don't know. I'm gonna

643
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 1: stop a big like intimidating situation and alone. Can I

644
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:42,240
Speaker 1: get Let's see what I got? Um? Do you like invader? Zim.

645
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Give you in some

646
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: Invaders Zim. It's the funniest show. It's so crazy Invader

647
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: Zim scary then, yes, you know, I want to come

648
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: off as intimidating and as powerful and as someone that

649
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: they should be scared off. I can really inflation. Yeah,

650
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 1: all adjacent to Venice. Yes, so let's give you and

651
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: the baddest boys from Venice are coming to this mall

652
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: and they're trying to inline skate their way in here aggressively,

653
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: and if they do, then our entire family is going

654
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: to be in peril in our and our business is

655
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 1: gonna be Take whatever you want, Take whatever you want

656
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 1: if that's what's at stake, whatever you want. Thank you

657
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: so much. Also, this is so what are you doing

658
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: later if I survived this? Yeah? Do you want to

659
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:37,760
Speaker 1: like get a slushy or something? Yeah? Of course, good session, fellas,

660
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: good session, good session. I think we are. You are vast,

661
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 1: You're fast, You're fast. You know it comes to Dogtown

662
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: because the Dogtown boys, I'm gonna taste them right now.

663
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: You're gonna go to hell if you don't repent and

664
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 1: stop doing your wicked game. We don't worship skateboards like

665
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: you do. Okay, we worship these things, worship skape I

666
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: swear to me that own it. Okay, you're gonna go

667
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: to ahead. You're right, You're I got scared for a moment,

668
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: but you're right. I should own that. I call you

669
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: I Taker. From now on, call me I Taker. We're

670
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: gonna call you because you're so fast. We're gonna call

671
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: you Zippo. Like that zippo and Arlo. We still gotta

672
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,280
Speaker 1: come up with a name for you. You're not doing anything. Really,

673
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: I think Arlow is a pretty good name. It rhymes

674
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: was zippo. That's just your name, Yeah, but his neck.

675
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: Your name is Arlo Eisenberg. That's not like a thing. Yeah,

676
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: but maybe we can spell it different, like uh the

677
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 1: A will be like uh in at an at sign

678
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: And wait a minute, what kind of name is Eisenberg?

679
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 1: All right, guys know what the news? All right? I

680
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: was thinking, if we're gonna name anything, we started naming

681
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: some of these tricks. Um, zippo, what do you call

682
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,760
Speaker 1: that spinny thing you do on one ft chocolate mustache?

683
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 1: Chocolate mustache? I like that, Arlow, What would you call

684
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 1: that thing you did when you close your eyes and

685
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 1: spit everywhere. I call it the fountain of view, thound

686
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: of views in the chocolate mustache. We're off to a

687
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: good start. Oh no, look at this cute girl come

688
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: with all those spikes in her face. God here, get

689
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: out of here yet. Hey, we we own this place

690
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,240
Speaker 1: just as much as you do. Yeah. Well, if you step, baby,

691
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: roll one little inch into our area, which is actually

692
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: starts it actually starts right before the parking lot. Oh

693
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: it hurts my throat. Oh it hurts my throat. Okay, listen,

694
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: our property starts at the grass that's just on the

695
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: edge between the sidewalk and the street, right before our

696
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: parking lot. Now, if you cross that line, I'm gonna

697
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: have to do some serious business. You drop that, You

698
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 1: dropped some raising that Sorry, thank you. Those are really expensive,

699
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 1: so I gotta seat them even though I dropped him. Sorry. Um,

700
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 1: how long have you worked at that mall? Yeah? How

701
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: long have you worked here? My whole life born and raised?

702
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 1: Praise be. I've never seen a three person gang. I

703
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 1: think a fourth person would really make this better. Like

704
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: aggressive inline gang. You're trying to recruit her Eisenberg. What

705
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: you're trying to take over like you run the world. Eisenberg.

706
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: Al alright, alright, look, here's what we're saying. Do you

707
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: feel satisfied in the culture that you're a part of

708
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: right now? Miss Do you ever have displaced anger? Well,

709
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: it was really upset Geregy. What the hell you joined

710
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: a white nationalist inline skating group. They're bad people. They

711
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:56,319
Speaker 1: were bad, Okay, Georgy, that's that's that. That doesn't matter. Okay.

712
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: They're just trying to recruit the sick, the arts, and

713
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: that's our show, always stopping extremists anyway we can. So

714
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: this is this was about thank you to everybody who

715
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: wrote in. Thank you to everybody who's here. I think

716
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: everybody has a lesson in that to the show. We

717
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. James was asking everyone if they could

718
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: do a little review for us, maybe a little five

719
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 1: star if you don't mind, if we're worthy of it,

720
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: please drop that in have reviews or Spotify reviews or

721
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know wherever else. We really really

722
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: appreciate that. And before we go, let's just check it

723
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: with everybody. How's everyone doing, Jackie? I feel good. Yeah,

724
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: I started good and I still feel good. So I'm

725
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 1: gearing up to have a great day. Thank you so much.

726
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. You always a blast. Thank you,

727
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 1: Thank you, anything that anything coming up? I think you're doing.

728
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm trying to think of the timeline in

729
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 1: which this comes out, you know what I mean. But

730
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: after but we will be doing We'll be doing them

731
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 1: monthly show. It'll be monthly. I was gonna say once

732
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 1: a month. Pretty pretty. Pony On at the West Side

733
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: has it quite a quite a few alchemists in it,

734
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: and I am new to the gang, so I will

735
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 1: be doing that and that's that's very exciting. I mean,

736
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 1: and that's every first Thursday at nine o'clock, nine o'clock. Great.

737
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 1: Check it out a West Side Comedy Theater dot com.

738
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: James Heeney, how are you being? I'm great? Check out

739
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: game Front on YouTube. And my guess is, by the time,

740
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: unless something terrible happens with the you know from soft Servers,

741
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: elden Ring should be coming out. We'll have a lot

742
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: of great elden Ring coverage on Canna wait cannot wait

743
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: that it looks scary and fun, Jackie, Yeah, it's ten,

744
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: it's ten o'clock. Are you kidding me? Ten o'clock. I

745
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: guess we gotta do it, but if they get there

746
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: at nine, they'll still make the show. I'm about to

747
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: fail from all these shows. Ten o'clock. It's funny. Ten

748
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: used to be the slots, and now I think, and

749
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 1: I wonder whether it still is. We'll let you know,

750
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,479
Speaker 1: Chris tell us a little more. That's I think that's

751
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: it used to be the slot. Listen, you were asking

752
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: for reviews, and if I had to give a review

753
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:18,879
Speaker 1: about your hosting today, I'd say five stars. Brought the energy,

754
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 1: brought the heart, you bring, the energy, you bring, the

755
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 1: harsh so much fun um. I love playing with everybody here. Yeah,

756
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: hopefully the world kind of opens up again and we

757
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: can start seeing us. If you're in the l A

758
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 1: area in Santa Monica the West Side Comedy Theater, I

759
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,359
Speaker 1: know we're gonna be doing tons of different shows there,

760
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: so that's that. Or if you're in Florida, nothing has

761
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: changed since and now, and Craig kiss Key, you know,

762
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 1: I hate to be left out of of a pop

763
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,760
Speaker 1: culture discussion, So I think I'm gonna check out Your Mama.

764
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 1: According to IMDb, there are seventy episodes, but the entire

765
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: first season is available on Prime for for the season

766
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: or dollar ninety nine per episode, and I think there's

767
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: twenty one episodes in the first season, so I think

768
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: value wise, I think i'll go for you know, fifteen

769
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 1: bucks for the season. I've heard a great place to

770
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 1: start his episode nine, which is receipted versus Downy, so

771
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 1: so I'll report back. I think they're on YouTube as well.

772
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 1: But I think what I want Wilmer to get paid

773
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: inspect respect, respect, respect, because he's getting paid for that,

774
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: and then Christ gets paid for Downy. Oh that's right,

775
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: that's right. That's leg speaking and speaking of secret ops,

776
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 1: we got our man behind the scenes, Mr Doug Baby

777
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:43,280
Speaker 1: and of course our puppy, Kevin Pollock. We miss you, Bay.

778
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 1: Thank you to everybody was here and until next time.

779
00:48:47,840 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 1: Oh no,