Speaker 1: The nikast Here, Nicky here, I am Hello, whoa hit
Speaker 1: the mic? Wow off to a great start. Hi guys,
Speaker 1: how are you? It's Nicky Glayser podcast. I'm going on
Speaker 1: what day did I get my hair blown out for
Speaker 1: the Saturday? It's Tuesday morning. Still haven't washed my hair? Noah?
Speaker 1: Is that about? Still is? How long has it been
Speaker 1: for yours? Yours is like shiny and I just washed
Speaker 1: it after I think maybe eight days of not washing
Speaker 1: it eight days a week. Wait, I can't believe. Wait,
Speaker 1: eight days I've been so mine's three days. I have
Speaker 1: put no product in it. I did go running yesterday
Speaker 1: and maybe it got a little tangle during that. It's
Speaker 1: just when I sleep it gets so tangled. And I
Speaker 1: do put it up in like a bun, and I
Speaker 1: do one one fold of the buns so that it
Speaker 1: just doesn't get too many creases in it with a
Speaker 1: very like gentle silk scrunchy. Still gets tangled and dready. Um.
Speaker 1: How do you preserve your hair for days? Well, I
Speaker 1: think on like day number four, I just wrap it
Speaker 1: up in a bun for as as long as I
Speaker 1: can until I'm just like sick, until my hair gets itchy.
Speaker 1: And then I wash it, and then why do you wait? Wait?
Speaker 1: So why do you wait eight days? Just because it's like,
Speaker 1: let's just go as long as we can. However long
Speaker 1: this bun look well, we'll look cute. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: like at the point where it was just so much work,
Speaker 1: my top just starts to like separate, and it's just
Speaker 1: so much work to wash my hair and I have
Speaker 1: to dry it and stuff. It's just like a two
Speaker 1: hour process. Oh my god, I can I you know
Speaker 1: it's it's because I just don't want to pull out
Speaker 1: all the strands that come out when I wash it.
Speaker 1: I'm just putting that off. But every day you put
Speaker 1: it off, there's more that are accumulating to fall out.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of you're fucked either way. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I've been loading up on dry shampoo. Men don't
Speaker 1: know anything about any of this. I mean some men do.
Speaker 1: But when you're talking about dry shampoo over the weekend,
Speaker 1: and how many men like have thinning hair, and it's
Speaker 1: like dry shampoo will like thicken up your hair, they
Speaker 1: should try it, and your hair gets greasy. Men and
Speaker 1: dry shampoo, it's not like cleaning your it's it's not
Speaker 1: really cleaning your hair. It's just like powder that absorbs
Speaker 1: the grease and grime. So look into it. Man, you
Speaker 1: just sprayed in your hair. It's not gonna make it
Speaker 1: a color. It's not gonna make it smell like anything. Um.
Speaker 1: I think it would be a good tool for men.
Speaker 1: Do you use dray shampoo? I do use dry shampoo. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a new ish, newer ish thing. I think the
Speaker 1: first time I got dry shampoo was two other than twelve.
Speaker 1: But it's like it wasn't none the thing that's been
Speaker 1: around forever. I know they used to use like powder
Speaker 1: for wigs and stuff. It's all for the grease, right
Speaker 1: to soak up the grease something like that. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I gotta walk my hair. I was
Speaker 1: gonna do it this morning, and then I was like, mm,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for it to dry, and I
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to blow dry it. I was
Speaker 1: gonna let it air dry, but it was gonna When
Speaker 1: it air dries, it just looks shitty, you know, And
Speaker 1: I wanted and then and then I'll have that shitty
Speaker 1: hair for about three days until I feel like washing it.
Speaker 1: And so it's just like you're locked into whatever it
Speaker 1: dries as and I didn't have the samina to dry.
Speaker 1: I got a new hair dryer, though that's supposed to
Speaker 1: be like us, you know. I read all these reviews
Speaker 1: and it's supposed to actually like leave your hair shiny
Speaker 1: and straight. I don't know what kind of I got.
Speaker 1: I should tell you guys these things before I bring
Speaker 1: them up, but um, yeah, I've just been buying too
Speaker 1: many things I've gotten off my Poshmark obsession. I haven't
Speaker 1: gotten any new clothes recently. I got a Taylor Swift sweatshirt,
Speaker 1: um that was on that seat. That's the one made
Speaker 1: and that's arriving at some point. But other than that,
Speaker 1: I've kind of had to like I wanted like a
Speaker 1: shopping freeze, and I say that, but I did get
Speaker 1: these necklaces that I found through this Instagram account that
Speaker 1: shows you what Taylor Swift is wearing, like every time
Speaker 1: she has a TikTok or do you think they dissect
Speaker 1: her whole outfit and then they link you to like
Speaker 1: where you can buy the things that she wears. And this, um,
Speaker 1: this website. I don't know what I should tell you
Speaker 1: what it's called, but if you want to go and look,
Speaker 1: there's you can. It's like Taylor Swift Wearers or so.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it's called. UM. And I
Speaker 1: bought the same necklace and it's a layered necklace, which
Speaker 1: is the bane of my existence because they just get
Speaker 1: so tangled and like, I almost I got a massage
Speaker 1: the other night and I didn't, and I was trying
Speaker 1: to get out of there very quickly because I hate
Speaker 1: when the mssus leaves the room for you to get
Speaker 1: changed and they're just waiting outside the door for you
Speaker 1: to get changed. Oh my god. I and I'm a
Speaker 1: fast moving person, and I still am like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is torture that they're just waiting out there with a
Speaker 1: little cup of water. UM. And I had one of
Speaker 1: my necklaces that I was trying to get back on
Speaker 1: really quickly. I couldn't find the class but I was
Speaker 1: just like, fuck it, and I threw it in my bag,
Speaker 1: even though it's my new tailor Swift necklace and I
Speaker 1: don't want it to get tangled through it in my bag.
Speaker 1: And then I went to go find it UM a
Speaker 1: couple of days later because I didn't wear it for
Speaker 1: my special obviously, and then I was like, oh waiting,
Speaker 1: threw it in my bag and I went to go
Speaker 1: find it. I couldn't find it, and I just started
Speaker 1: getting so sad because I'm like, God, this is why
Speaker 1: you can't have nice things, which is a tailor swift
Speaker 1: lyric um, this is why this is Like you spent
Speaker 1: money on this thing, you already lost it. Like the
Speaker 1: mental anguish. I went through thinking I lost this thing,
Speaker 1: and I went through all my bags a million times
Speaker 1: exactly the pocket I thought i'd put it in. It
Speaker 1: wasn't there. And then I'm at the airport and I like,
Speaker 1: look in the pocket one more time, and then it's there,
Speaker 1: and it was like, what the fuck happened? It was,
Speaker 1: but the the mental strife I went through thinking I
Speaker 1: lost it. I wasn't at peace with it. I I
Speaker 1: lost in neck class the way. But one of my
Speaker 1: best friends, Robin got me in the Cayman Islands. That
Speaker 1: was a shape of Grand Cayman. It looks like a
Speaker 1: kind of it looks like a mermaid that had been
Speaker 1: run over by a um one of those big wheels
Speaker 1: that flattens things. Austin powers you no like it's like
Speaker 1: you know and where they're like, oh no, and it's
Speaker 1: like the slow moving like it's just a flattener. They
Speaker 1: roll over cement to flatten it. Anyway, it looks like
Speaker 1: that looks like a mermaid was crushed by one of those,
Speaker 1: and and everyone's always like, what is that on your necklace?
Speaker 1: It looks like Florida if someone from Florida drew Florida,
Speaker 1: Like it looks so bad, and it's the kid, it's
Speaker 1: Grand Cayman. Anyway, it was probably very expensive. My friend
Speaker 1: Robin got it for me. She has great taste, and
Speaker 1: I loved it so much and I took it off
Speaker 1: at Whitney's house the other day to get a spray
Speaker 1: chan and I lost it. And I was at peace
Speaker 1: with that one because I've had it since March. That's
Speaker 1: a good run for wearing a necklace pretty much every
Speaker 1: day March to November. I'm happy with that. I was
Speaker 1: Whitney couldn't find it, her assistance couldn't find it. Was
Speaker 1: we got spray dance outside, so it was like probably
Speaker 1: lost in the grass somewhere. But I was like, that
Speaker 1: was a good run for that necklace. My Taylor's was
Speaker 1: necklace I had had for a week and I was like,
Speaker 1: that is not a good enough run. I can make
Speaker 1: peace with losing things if I've had a good run
Speaker 1: with them. I should have employed the same technique I
Speaker 1: use for everything else, Like I wasn't meant to have
Speaker 1: that necklace, like you weren't meant to have it, if
Speaker 1: this was always going to happen. But I was so mad,
Speaker 1: But luckily I found it, and that massage I got,
Speaker 1: goddamn it, So I used to go. I found this
Speaker 1: guy when I was in Denver, probably two thousand twelve
Speaker 1: or something, and he was out of like an office
Speaker 1: place and had his own little private room, almost like
Speaker 1: a therapist office that you go into, and he was
Speaker 1: really good. And I remember going into him one time
Speaker 1: and I had such a bad like spot on my butt.
Speaker 1: All I wanted was my butt like kneeded out because
Speaker 1: it would just hurt so bad in these certain areas,
Speaker 1: and I wanted him to be tortured. And I remember
Speaker 1: going into him, And it was also a time when
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend and I were like breaking up, and
Speaker 1: it was kind of an uncertain time. He had he had,
Speaker 1: you know, become upset with me for very good reason
Speaker 1: while I was out of town, and I didn't really
Speaker 1: know the status of what he was. It seemed like
Speaker 1: he was going to break up with me, but I
Speaker 1: didn't know. So I was in this waiting period. He
Speaker 1: wasn't talking to me, like we weren't really communicated. It
Speaker 1: was awful. And I went to go get this massage
Speaker 1: and he was like, well, what's going on here? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I just it's so painful right there.
Speaker 1: And he was like, Honestly, every pain that's like this acute,
Speaker 1: it's literally someone in your life who's a pain in
Speaker 1: your ass, like your that's what that comes from. Like
Speaker 1: he's a pain in the ass, like the mental anguish.
Speaker 1: This was before I got into that back book. And
Speaker 1: I just remember being like, oh, this is that. Like
Speaker 1: it wasn't like he was like, oh the he was
Speaker 1: a pain in my ass, but it was like the
Speaker 1: pain of going through that breakup all decided to go
Speaker 1: to my butt. And so I went to this guy again.
Speaker 1: Now this is eight years nine years later. That was
Speaker 1: actually so eight years later. I go back to him.
Speaker 1: I message him because I still have him in my phone,
Speaker 1: like massage Denver, and I was like, are you still practicing?
Speaker 1: And he's like, um, yeah, I kind of my license lapsed,
Speaker 1: but I still got the place and I was like,
Speaker 1: please God, yes, So I went there the other night.
Speaker 1: He was fantastic, but it was a two hour massage.
Speaker 1: It was so good, but it's just there's something about this,
Speaker 1: about the sensuality and the connection of a massage that
Speaker 1: leaves me feeling ikey afterwards, not because of him or
Speaker 1: anyone that gives a massage. I can't get. I have
Speaker 1: a hangover from massages because it's like, I it's so
Speaker 1: intimate to let someone touch your naked body with like
Speaker 1: oils and this like music playing that His music honestly
Speaker 1: was a little sexual, but I, you know, I just
Speaker 1: said put on whatever you want, because he was like,
Speaker 1: do you have a preference, And it was like there
Speaker 1: were times when it was literally bound chick a wow wow,
Speaker 1: Like it was I heard whatever music, musical instrument goes
Speaker 1: bound like it was sexual music. But he was not
Speaker 1: a you know, it wasn't that vibe at all. But
Speaker 1: it was just for two hours to have that kind
Speaker 1: of slow and like he was very into breathing, so
Speaker 1: to keep my breathing on track. He would go like, oh,
Speaker 1: that sounds like the sex from the no Orgasm book.
Speaker 1: Oh really is that remember about I haven't gotten that
Speaker 1: far yet, Careza Careza. Yeah, yeah, where you lay on
Speaker 1: top of your partner next to them and you have
Speaker 1: like the same breathing patterns. Yes, it's very connective. And
Speaker 1: it got me into like it was really a good
Speaker 1: experience and I felt like I was letting go and
Speaker 1: releasing tension in all this. But I got done and
Speaker 1: I just I just scurried out of there like it
Speaker 1: was a guy wanting me to leave. Like I know
Speaker 1: that guys change after they come. They just aren't as
Speaker 1: into you. And I always try to get away as
Speaker 1: quickly as possible because I just I don't want I
Speaker 1: hate being in the way. I hate when people don't
Speaker 1: want me around and I'm forcing myself on them. So
Speaker 1: as soon as i feel like I'm unwanted or like
Speaker 1: i've you know, the session is over, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get out as quickly as possible. And I definitely felt
Speaker 1: that way, and then I just felt like I just
Speaker 1: have a hangover afterwards. I just don't feel good or right.
Speaker 1: And I gotta remember this, like massages, unless if I
Speaker 1: take off all my clothes are not good for me.
Speaker 1: They just they make me feel abandoned in this weird way.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman,
Speaker 1: it does it just it feels bad afterwards. I think
Speaker 1: I've just have been abandoned after a sex so many
Speaker 1: times emotionally that it reminds me of that and maybe
Speaker 1: triggers that. That's why I like foot massages. You keep
Speaker 1: your clothes on, it's not as intimate. Um. I got
Speaker 1: in the uber though at this you know, in this
Speaker 1: suburb in Denver, and I popped in the back seat
Speaker 1: and he goes, in, your Nikki and I was like yeah.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, Nikki Glazer and I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: and he goes what wait what Well, I'm just I
Speaker 1: was kidding. Wait you Nicky Glazer and I go yeah,
Speaker 1: and I have the mask on. He goes what. I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I really am. I don't know what else to tell.
Speaker 1: I know this is weird, but yes I am. And
Speaker 1: he was like wait a second, hold on, And then
Speaker 1: he's already pulled away and he goes, no, I'm backing up.
Speaker 1: We're going back in because he needed to pull over
Speaker 1: and I go no, no, no, we can, we can
Speaker 1: you can check when we you dropped me off. He
Speaker 1: tries to back up to go back into the parking lot.
Speaker 1: He's about to pull out into the street and he's like,
Speaker 1: wait is a good we gotta go back and like
Speaker 1: this is by the way, nine thirty at night. I'm like,
Speaker 1: come on or ten o'clock, Like we're in this kind
Speaker 1: of desolate location. What was he trying to check to
Speaker 1: that I was really Nicki Glazer and that he could
Speaker 1: see me fully? And the thing is, he said there
Speaker 1: wasn't even a picture with my uber name. For whatever reason,
Speaker 1: I go, did you see my picture and know? And
Speaker 1: he was like no. I just said Nikki Glazer as
Speaker 1: like a joke to myself because clearly you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer. But I just thought like that's the only
Speaker 1: time I've ever heard their name Nikki, And so when
Speaker 1: you got in, I was just like saying a joke
Speaker 1: to myself, like I don't even know why I said it,
Speaker 1: because it didn't even think that the passenger would hear me,
Speaker 1: like you know, it would be like, um uh, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Trying to think of an example, um like, uh,
Speaker 1: somebody gets into your thing and his name is or
Speaker 1: like a guy is a waiter and you're like, his
Speaker 1: name is sunny and you're like, oh, sunny BONEO. And
Speaker 1: he's like, I am Sunny Bone. I mean that wouldn't happen,
Speaker 1: but like you know, where you just say something because
Speaker 1: it's that person's name, like it just occurs to you.
Speaker 1: Maybe he had just seen my name so everybody was
Speaker 1: just like Nikki Glazer. He said to himself, and I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am. He's like wait, what what? What? Like it was?
Speaker 1: It took so long to convince him I was myself
Speaker 1: because first of all, I looked insane after his massage.
Speaker 1: My face was all puffy and I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: like still recovering from the intimacy. And he talked to
Speaker 1: me the whole way about UM about it and then
Speaker 1: UM about how incredible it was. And it was incredible.
Speaker 1: Like I gave him the I was like, that is
Speaker 1: insane that you just said my name just to yourself
Speaker 1: and it was me And he's like, I just can't
Speaker 1: believe this. It was very very nice. Um. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think of other things that happened last weekend in Denver. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just a the massage thing, but I need
Speaker 1: one so bad today. Know what. I went for a
Speaker 1: run yesterday, my first run in like two months, and
Speaker 1: I ran four miles like my usual and by the way,
Speaker 1: I was clocking like eight minute miles last time I
Speaker 1: was running. This one was my my average. Feed was
Speaker 1: like like and I was trying, trying, and it was
Speaker 1: nice outside, wasn't cold. There's no excuse anyway. I am
Speaker 1: beaten up today from it. I am hobbling around like
Speaker 1: you just saw me. I am moving at the speed
Speaker 1: of a normal person today, that's for sure, but I'm
Speaker 1: moving like a grandma. I really do feel like this
Speaker 1: is the speed I will move at when I'm eighty
Speaker 1: years old. Just I'm very slow today. My tits feel
Speaker 1: like fucking kettlebells. I am. I'm so. I'm about to
Speaker 1: start my period. It must be that, It must be.
Speaker 1: I said it. I was texting someone about it, and
Speaker 1: I didn't want to write period, so I just said
Speaker 1: I'm starting my and then I just wrote a space period. Um.
Speaker 1: But like I I'm so like heavy and I had
Speaker 1: so many nightmares waking up this morning. Something's going on?
Speaker 1: Do you get that? What do you I'm trying to
Speaker 1: track my symptoms on my old period app. But I
Speaker 1: can't keep them straight because I just keep having to
Speaker 1: take the morning after pill and it throws everything. It's
Speaker 1: so stupid. I'm not doing it anymore. I've taken it
Speaker 1: twice in like three weeks, and believe me, I tried
Speaker 1: not to. I'm like, listen, I'm thirty seven. I've never
Speaker 1: been pregnant. Um not, my period dragger app says I'm
Speaker 1: not highly fertile today. Let's just I I went in
Speaker 1: and I scooped it out with my douche, like I
Speaker 1: did the thing you do when you suck up snot
Speaker 1: out of babies noses, that little thing. I did that
Speaker 1: to my vagina. After the incident, and still he was like,
Speaker 1: I just think it's better to have like whatever this
Speaker 1: does to your body right now. He was very apologetic.
Speaker 1: He was like, because we both agreed to let it happen,
Speaker 1: and just I thought I could, Bob, I thought I
Speaker 1: could take talk him out of me taking the morning
Speaker 1: after To be honest with you, when it happened, I
Speaker 1: was just like, yeah, I'll take it. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll just not. I'll just tell him I'm not going
Speaker 1: to and convince him. I don't have to. But then
Speaker 1: we talked and I'm like, you're right, I just take it,
Speaker 1: but it is someone told me there's a high dose
Speaker 1: of estrogen in it, and that's what used to give
Speaker 1: me migrants. So thank you to the bestie who said
Speaker 1: something about that. Um, and I'm gonna be I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be more cautious now and just you know, use the
Speaker 1: pull up. Have you ever taken the plan B? I have,
Speaker 1: and Um, the one time I had to take it,
Speaker 1: I was not on birth control yet. We were using
Speaker 1: a condom and the condom came out, like came off
Speaker 1: during sex and it was like lodged inside of my
Speaker 1: vagina and he came and we didn't know that until
Speaker 1: we were done having sex. It was the scariest thing
Speaker 1: because one is is this kind of ever going to
Speaker 1: come out of me? And holy sh it, I'm only
Speaker 1: like twenty one. I don't I don't want a baby,
Speaker 1: like I'm so fertile right now. So then having to
Speaker 1: get planned B was a whole thing because I don't
Speaker 1: know how because you used to have to get a prescription. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and or at least go talk to the pharmacist. And
Speaker 1: I think now it's over. You know it's behind the counter,
Speaker 1: but like you just have to be like can I
Speaker 1: have It's like buying cigarettes. Oh yeah, I had to
Speaker 1: find like a doctor on the internet back in the
Speaker 1: when like internet was brand new or something that's like Texas,
Speaker 1: except I'm sure in Texas they don't even let you go,
Speaker 1: Like I wonder if you can even buy a plan
Speaker 1: being in Texas. Well, I was able to get it,
Speaker 1: and then it made me so sick. Like we were
Speaker 1: talking before the show started, it just puts your body
Speaker 1: in like self destruct mode. Yes, it's just awful. Yes.
Speaker 1: So there's like an alarm going off like everything everyone out,
Speaker 1: Like everything in my body is like what do we do? Um?
Speaker 1: And it forces you to have your period like right away.
Speaker 1: But seriously, my booms are so heavy. I it's like
Speaker 1: I really shout out to all my heavy tidy ladies
Speaker 1: out there, like if you got those heavy kettlebell tits,
Speaker 1: that is a lot to lug around. They're heavier than
Speaker 1: they've ever It's like I'm fucking breastfeeding today. Um, and
Speaker 1: I just shout out to those women with your huge
Speaker 1: you utters. Um, but mine hurt. I don't think they
Speaker 1: always hurt when women have those kinds of boobs. But um, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm like gripping my boobs please, uh yeah, go watch
Speaker 1: this on the YouTube. Um, but yeah, it's like I'm
Speaker 1: wearing like a breastfeeding bra today, one that has like
Speaker 1: a trap door. That's what this This braw feels just
Speaker 1: like so medical, almost like it's like a something I
Speaker 1: bought it, you know. In that one islet Walgreen said
Speaker 1: has all the like as bandages and stuff. It just
Speaker 1: feels like, oh, I keep saying that, and I know
Speaker 1: Kirsen is listening to this podcast and laughing every time.
Speaker 1: I go, oh, okay, guys, enough TikTok, let's get Drew
Speaker 1: in here. What good morning St. Louis in the surrounding areas?
Speaker 1: Speaking of St. Louis and surrounding areas, did you find
Speaker 1: an apartment? Girl? I am trying in girl, girl. It's
Speaker 1: hard out there for a girl. Girl, girl, girl when
Speaker 1: we talk like that, because it feels that racially ambiguous
Speaker 1: in terms of who you may be um imitating or
Speaker 1: girl never mocking girl. I know girl. Um so um,
Speaker 1: that's like a whole nother that's like the opposite end
Speaker 1: of despect um. So we look, I didna girl. Uh no,
Speaker 1: so looking at apartments as hell? Dude, this move. You
Speaker 1: just sent me a photo. I go, okay, because I
Speaker 1: lived in Squalor in New York City. So you sent
Speaker 1: me this. I was like, I don't even have to
Speaker 1: see it. I'll moving. Yeah, yes, I wrote back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so then you know now I like have a little
Speaker 1: bit discerning discerning taste. Yeah, this dick turning, um, so
Speaker 1: you wait for your dick to turn and go. I
Speaker 1: need to get out of here. I used my dick
Speaker 1: as like a compass. I don't know what those are.
Speaker 1: These people hold that they yeah, yeah, called damn it
Speaker 1: keep going. So I end up going to like, you know,
Speaker 1: Lafayette Square two. People know that place. Yes, it's very pretty.
Speaker 1: Yeah uh. It feels like a civil war has gone
Speaker 1: through there and no one else ever moved back in.
Speaker 1: But like feels good, like historic. And they have these
Speaker 1: losts that are like there was a loft for nineteen
Speaker 1: hundred bucks. I'm not kidding you. It's like like it
Speaker 1: is two stories, like you feel like a king, Like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to fill all the furniture. But
Speaker 1: these lofts are hilarious because they're like we walked into
Speaker 1: one place, like this is a two bedroom and I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're looking around. We're like that's a there's not another bed,
Speaker 1: Like no, no, no, it's there. There's room for They
Speaker 1: don't put the walls. There's no wall. You have to
Speaker 1: imagine because it's you know, if you're what are you
Speaker 1: talking about? I know. They're like you gotta close your eyes,
Speaker 1: and they go used to be an office, like it
Speaker 1: seems like it's still in office because it's like it's
Speaker 1: so barren. Like they don't put in floors. It's all concrete.
Speaker 1: They're like, we don't do doors here because we don't
Speaker 1: want to pay for them. They sound like it's like
Speaker 1: a taste thing, but it's really cost Yeah, they're like
Speaker 1: they leave the wire, Oh we could lead the wires
Speaker 1: open to an industrial Look that, um there's concrete everywhere.
Speaker 1: That's you know, uh yeah, these walls have not been finished,
Speaker 1: but that's like a new it's like really shabby sheep
Speaker 1: it so is. And then they're like, oh, these wires
Speaker 1: you can get electrocuted every day and that's why you
Speaker 1: pay an extra three grandom months and uh so anyways,
Speaker 1: but the place is cool actually, like all that being
Speaker 1: said like it had like these old buildings that are converted,
Speaker 1: like have this beautiful brick can Like, oh, they're just nice.
Speaker 1: They're like big, and you get a pretty good a
Speaker 1: lot for your buck if you get outside like this area,
Speaker 1: if you put up your own wall up. Yeah. Uh so, anyways,
Speaker 1: we're looking at four other places today. It's it's stressful.
Speaker 1: It's like because like I don't know, the area is
Speaker 1: more important to me than size. Oh yeah, you mean yeah,
Speaker 1: the part of town. Yeah. Uh but anyways, it's a
Speaker 1: fun process. Huh. Is it like in New York where
Speaker 1: if you don't make a quick decision right away, it's gone.
Speaker 1: Do you feel that pressure? It's not like that in St. Louis, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not, but it's kind of dude, it's weird. It's
Speaker 1: like competitive. They don't there's not a lot of availability.
Speaker 1: I don't think a lot of I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people have moved back maybe from
Speaker 1: New York or City. Is similar to New York because
Speaker 1: there's not like there's like, oh we have to if
Speaker 1: you rent today, we get five hundred off. But if
Speaker 1: you don't rent today, it's going to be an extra
Speaker 1: eight grand and more and less walls, and you know,
Speaker 1: but are you doing six months or a year? Um?
Speaker 1: I think a year, and then if I have to
Speaker 1: get out as to get out, I think because then
Speaker 1: you I don't know, it ends up being almost similar
Speaker 1: money if you end early or if you do it
Speaker 1: six months they add anyways. But yeah, it's um, it's cool.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like a fun little process. It's
Speaker 1: it's just seeing four today. That's a lot of places.
Speaker 1: You know. I like real estate. Yeah, I like seeing.
Speaker 1: It's fun like to and and to look for a place,
Speaker 1: not alone with someone else. That's more fun. Yeah, especially
Speaker 1: when like you walk into a place and you know
Speaker 1: it's not right. Yeah, you look at it. It's very funny.
Speaker 1: You look at each other. Oh yeah, just be honest,
Speaker 1: don't waste your time. Oh no, we're in and out.
Speaker 1: We don't. We don't work around. I mean the person
Speaker 1: you always think, like the building managers who's showing you
Speaker 1: these places, like almost built the room or designed it,
Speaker 1: like they don't care. I mean, yeah, so they want
Speaker 1: to sell it to you. But it's like I always
Speaker 1: was like trying to be nice to these real estate
Speaker 1: agents that were showing me these shitty apartments. It's like,
Speaker 1: why they didn't. They're lying to me about all the
Speaker 1: features and how right this building is. They don't live here.
Speaker 1: I mean some of these yeah, some of these departments.
Speaker 1: The floors are like they're just they're there. You can't
Speaker 1: walk on them without feeling like you're gonna fall every
Speaker 1: three seconds. They're just so imbalanced because their old buildings.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know, but I like this area.
Speaker 1: It's a little pricey. We're gonna look at a place
Speaker 1: down the street, yes, but they only have one availability. Right. Um,
Speaker 1: there's places by your sister and Matt. I just end
Speaker 1: up becoming best friends with your sister and Matt, and
Speaker 1: I mean that would be so fun. I mean I
Speaker 1: loved them. I was over there last night. Was freaking blast.
Speaker 1: I mean it was it was insane. What was insane
Speaker 1: about it? Just screaming kids. Yeah, just kids running around
Speaker 1: and then the new baby. So it's like the screaming
Speaker 1: has to like not be happening because they're a baby.
Speaker 1: But the baby is used to being in my sister's
Speaker 1: belly and surrounded by chaos, like because it grew up
Speaker 1: and was incubated with only a layer of skin and
Speaker 1: muscle protecting it from the sounds. It's used to the
Speaker 1: screaming kids. So it's the forest just like it's just
Speaker 1: chill and doesn't really like make any movement when there's
Speaker 1: like shrieking happening right next to its little head. It's
Speaker 1: so wild. It was just inside her stomach. It was
Speaker 1: floating in a belly, like inside just the other night,
Speaker 1: like when we were eating Thanksgiving dinner. And now it's
Speaker 1: like out and like in cribs and like can hear
Speaker 1: it can like look at a TV and like, is
Speaker 1: you know, is responsible for Like it would be better
Speaker 1: off putting in in a big bowl of jello inside
Speaker 1: the fridge and he'd be like finally I can relax again.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so jealous of babies. That's all I
Speaker 1: can think of when I see baby. It's like they
Speaker 1: don't know anything, they're not expected to know anything, they
Speaker 1: have no responsibilities. They just have to suck on a tip,
Speaker 1: like they don't do anything, and they're just like precious
Speaker 1: and everyone loves them. It's like, God, I want to
Speaker 1: be a baby. I mean that used to be my
Speaker 1: joke of like holding a baby and being like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I think, I I think, I know, like
Speaker 1: I want to be a baby, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a way, I don't want to be a mom.
Speaker 1: I want to be a baby. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: be a baby again or be well, you do end
Speaker 1: up being a baby, you go to a nursing home
Speaker 1: and you're then no one gives a funk about you,
Speaker 1: old people, it's so much worse than babies. But you
Speaker 1: become a baby again, like that's our um forest looked
Speaker 1: like my dad, like just like a you know, wrinkly head.
Speaker 1: Like you turn into an old you're an old man
Speaker 1: when you're born. And that's why babies are not sexual
Speaker 1: neither or old people like, because you're dependent on sexual
Speaker 1: human beings to take care of you and wipe you
Speaker 1: and like be around you in babe you. That's why
Speaker 1: when you get older, you become no, there's nothing about
Speaker 1: you that's sexual anymore. And when your baby, there's because
Speaker 1: you are vulnerable to people who do have sexual desires,
Speaker 1: and so you don't want to. You don't want to.
Speaker 1: That's why I always say, like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be funk about when I'm ninety, because I need people
Speaker 1: that have get boners still to wipe me, and I
Speaker 1: don't want them getting a boner. And you don't want
Speaker 1: to be sexualized while your ass is getting white. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't. You you you you must you if you
Speaker 1: plan on getting you have to wipe my ass though
Speaker 1: with my asshole, just kill me. Even if I'm someone
Speaker 1: will else someday someone will have to wipe my ass. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if I wish you
Speaker 1: could convorky in it. You know, there's sometimes where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, someone has dementia and they have to get
Speaker 1: their ass wiped, and if they were cognitive enough to
Speaker 1: know what other people have to do for them, they
Speaker 1: just like, you're not huh, that's why you're not cognitive
Speaker 1: enough or whatever. That's two. It saves you. It's weird.
Speaker 1: Your brain is like, no, you can't handle what your
Speaker 1: body is. It's fucking wild. It's so sad. But yeah,
Speaker 1: when people are like I want to stay hot forever,
Speaker 1: no you don't, because then you're going to be sexually
Speaker 1: assaulted by people who are turned on by one of
Speaker 1: the groundskeepers. Yeah, and that's I mean, that's there are
Speaker 1: people that are very you know, my grandma got like
Speaker 1: a hundred fifty grand stolen't like people steal from old
Speaker 1: people even become vulnerable, bro, like they stole like two
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars. One guy was driving my mom's car,
Speaker 1: remember that, around in Florida. And then I think he
Speaker 1: tried the old Fairs Bueller technique of coming back and reverse.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work. My mom was like, I don't she
Speaker 1: doesn't drive, so she goes from five miles to three miles.
Speaker 1: She kind of has an idea like, what is that me?
Speaker 1: I don't think I went to fucking Connecticut? Who looks
Speaker 1: the miles? Thought? I mean, I just think when you
Speaker 1: don't drive at all, you can kind of see that
Speaker 1: someone else is driving your car. Yeah, you can just
Speaker 1: sense it. And this guy was just rolling around in
Speaker 1: a in a cool Corolla. I think she had I
Speaker 1: don't know, was in the trunk like I usually keep
Speaker 1: it in the front. Sea. Does she drive anymore? No,
Speaker 1: she don't even have a car anymore. Um but yeah,
Speaker 1: speaking of kids, though, I would forgot to tell you this.
Speaker 1: I went I was getting on a plane two days
Speaker 1: ago when we're flying back from Denver. There was I'm
Speaker 1: not kidding you, two hundred kids on my flight, all
Speaker 1: in red matching T shirts. I was freaking out and
Speaker 1: I don't know, just there sounds they're twelve years old.
Speaker 1: Get that white noise? What are you guys doing? It
Speaker 1: was it was the teen tour that I was listening to,
Speaker 1: so they were going. There were kids. When you listen
Speaker 1: to their conversations, there's nothing said. They're just like I
Speaker 1: went to, oh my god, I got this backpack yesterday.
Speaker 1: I do. It was pretty cool, Like it was like
Speaker 1: it was like, I don't know, it's like it's a
Speaker 1: little loose on me. Oh you got that loose backpack.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I like that loose backpack. Yeah. I was
Speaker 1: gonna get that backpack with my mom said I couldn't
Speaker 1: get that backpack anyway. So like, yeah, it's cool that
Speaker 1: I got these new jeans. Jeans are cool. I like jeans.
Speaker 1: And it's like that. It's just it's just going on
Speaker 1: all around me, and I'm like and I'm freaking out.
Speaker 1: I'm standing in line. I'm texting Brenda pictures of it
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, dude, I can't get on this
Speaker 1: this flight. I'm gonna lose my mind. And I'm standing.
Speaker 1: I don't know put on some music or I tried,
Speaker 1: but they were just all around me. And then I
Speaker 1: realized I was standing for the wrong flight. I was, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Where were they going to Tampa Orlando
Speaker 1: or something like that, somewhere in California and St. Louis's
Speaker 1: right next to it. And the people on the St.
Speaker 1: Louis flight were just like these sad like like people
Speaker 1: in blue jeans, blues sweatshirts. There. Every one time I
Speaker 1: got on the flight to go to St. Louis, people
Speaker 1: are decked out in like St. Louis gear to like
Speaker 1: make sure you know they're from St. Louis. It's the
Speaker 1: only time that you're on a flight and people will
Speaker 1: dress for the city they're going to is St. Louis.
Speaker 1: It's so bizarre. People have like people and like like
Speaker 1: Cleveland or something because they have like pash, there's path
Speaker 1: to being the underdog and like being a smaller city.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. People love. I guess you
Speaker 1: grow up here. A lot of people don't leave. And yeah,
Speaker 1: are we going to blues game tonight? I still haven't
Speaker 1: decided nothing about going to The guy I'm dating got
Speaker 1: us has four tickets ago the Blues game, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I don't want to. I just I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do it. I was
Speaker 1: really looking forward to just like sitting on the couch
Speaker 1: and watching TV and watching the New Beatles documentary. I
Speaker 1: watched one and a half of it. My dad said,
Speaker 1: was great. It is great. I think if you're a musician,
Speaker 1: you'll fucking love it. I thought I heard it's like
Speaker 1: kind of gives you an eye or a you know,
Speaker 1: a glance into the songwriting process. They speak, you know,
Speaker 1: how you speak gibberish with your friends. Yeah, they speak.
Speaker 1: You'll see they speak. They're gey John, get back, get go,
Speaker 1: and they but they like in terms of like saying
Speaker 1: like oh, do the beat like this, and do the
Speaker 1: it's what you'll see, it's another lane. They just look
Speaker 1: at each other. What does the caption say? Because we
Speaker 1: have Hulu captions on, I don't know if captains knows what,
Speaker 1: But you watched it, what did it say? It set? No,
Speaker 1: it will say like, uh, I'm trying to think of
Speaker 1: it like an example, but even when you read it,
Speaker 1: it seems gibberish. It's just so shorthanded where they know
Speaker 1: exactly what each other. Paul and George get in, get
Speaker 1: into it. Yeah, but George left left the band during this.
Speaker 1: He just walked out. He didn't. He just goes going
Speaker 1: to you know, check on me, Telly or whatever, and
Speaker 1: he leaves. Girls just never came back. I think he
Speaker 1: was like girl girl, Oh, girl girl, girls. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good girls don't don't don't don't do you
Speaker 1: know that song? No, but it's probably about them trying
Speaker 1: to bang a seventeen year old, But yeah, it probably,
Speaker 1: but they I love that song because they go like,
Speaker 1: there's like this breathing in it. They're like, girls, Yoko
Speaker 1: is just there. Oh yeah, dude, it's why it's cool.
Speaker 1: But but I heard that you do not get confirmation
Speaker 1: that Yoko is the one that's bringing everything down. You
Speaker 1: could feel a vibe of her, just like, dude, if
Speaker 1: you're trying to be creative and you're my story, wait,
Speaker 1: I just want to get to the girl part. Guys,
Speaker 1: you hold on. That was like my massage the other
Speaker 1: night was this guy going he was breathing. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: what you're supposed to do when you're um, have you
Speaker 1: ever done the technique to get to sleep? The four
Speaker 1: it's four seven eight. You breathe in for four through
Speaker 1: your mouth with your tongue on the truth of your mouth.
Speaker 1: If you ever can't get to sleep, you guys, try
Speaker 1: this the four seven eight. You breathe in through your mouth, sorry,
Speaker 1: through your nose for four seconds. Hold for seven, breathe
Speaker 1: out for eight through your notes through your mouth, and
Speaker 1: go through your nose four hold for seven out your
Speaker 1: mouth for eight. But you gotta go. You have to
Speaker 1: make a I don't understand how you can breathe out
Speaker 1: for eight seconds, though I lose when I right inhale.
Speaker 1: Inhale I can only do for four seconds. It's a
Speaker 1: perfect breathing technique for me. Whenever someone's like inhale, whenever
Speaker 1: there's an inhale exhale exercise on a yoga video or
Speaker 1: anything inhale, I cannot do. And this was you know,
Speaker 1: I haven't smoked pot for three and a half months.
Speaker 1: I cannot do anyhale. Let's let's let's see, let's inhale
Speaker 1: right now. But it depends on if you're going or
Speaker 1: you're going steady inhale. Done. That's insane. Wait, let me
Speaker 1: just write again. Know what you do it too? Everyone
Speaker 1: I'll try to inhale as slowly as I can. Ready, wait,
Speaker 1: let's breathe it all out. Okay, inhale starting now, Okay,
Speaker 1: can't name, aren't dude? You've got amazing lung efency. Now,
Speaker 1: let's do out because I think I can do. I
Speaker 1: don't get it. Let's do out. Okay, let's breathe in
Speaker 1: as much as we can. I have so much fat
Speaker 1: in my nose that you're getting more oxygen quick small
Speaker 1: you wait? You do? Do you struggle to breathe when
Speaker 1: you're like? Really, are you serious? My breathing could be better,
Speaker 1: and you actually do feel it at night when I'm sleeping,
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not getting enough oxygen. I've never
Speaker 1: felt that. Even the idea of feeling like I'm getting
Speaker 1: of oxygen makes me so freaking scared. You get scared
Speaker 1: oxygen if you're getting in ocygen. Um, yeah, it's I
Speaker 1: don't really fear it. I mean if I go, I'll
Speaker 1: be oh suffocating. No no, no, no no. Wait. Let's
Speaker 1: do a breathing out okay, okay, and let's go in
Speaker 1: as much as we can through your nose. Okay about
Speaker 1: let me know when you're ready to go out ready
Speaker 1: through the bout, shut the front door. Okay, nothing makes you?
Speaker 1: Can someone please going on four seconds? Andrew? Can you
Speaker 1: you're gonnahal twice as long as me and I can
Speaker 1: exhale twice as long as him. What the fund is
Speaker 1: going on? What's going on now there? Scientists? No? Uh well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's exactly what you said twice
Speaker 1: as long because you X held on eleven seconds and
Speaker 1: Andrew exhaled on like twenty. Excuse me, vice, person, makes
Speaker 1: no sense. You're getting more. I think you might be
Speaker 1: sucking in harder than me. Initially, I think you might
Speaker 1: be right. Like I have bigger nostrils, I have bigger
Speaker 1: like nose airways. Maybe if I just plugged one. Okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta get to the news. I know this has
Speaker 1: been riven thing podcast. By the way, I think this
Speaker 1: should be a clip. This would be the clip we
Speaker 1: submit for the podcast to war for for an Emmy.
Speaker 1: They're not giving Emmy's Away for podcasts yet until they
Speaker 1: saw that clip. You get a peabody. I don't even
Speaker 1: know what a peabody. I love our listeners. That is
Speaker 1: not something I would have done the first month of
Speaker 1: the show. While we were still trying to get people
Speaker 1: to like us. But I know that our busties just
Speaker 1: rode with us on that, and they probably did the
Speaker 1: breathing exercise with us. Let's get to the news. Oh man,
Speaker 1: it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means. It is Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I hope you're having all the swells out there on
Speaker 1: this Tuesday. Tuesday doesn't get a lot of love Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Should I love Tuesday? Spar fun go one down on
Speaker 1: a Tuesday. Oh yeah, Ruby Tuesdays. I love their salad bar.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the ruby Tuesday salad bar. Shout out.
Speaker 1: I'm a chili man. There's no salad bar of chilies.
Speaker 1: But in terms of salad bars, I don't even know
Speaker 1: if they're doing them after Covida. I think they are
Speaker 1: Ruby Tuesday salad bar. Dude, I'm not kidding you. It's
Speaker 1: fucking great. Don't ever, don't don't uh, don't knock until
Speaker 1: you try. I think it's like and then you can
Speaker 1: do if you do it like eight ninety nine, you
Speaker 1: get two sides with it, and then you just get
Speaker 1: get ordered two sides and then make it a meal.
Speaker 1: It's it's a great place to bring your mom after
Speaker 1: like Carolines or something. Yeah. Oh yeah, we used to
Speaker 1: go to Ruby Tuesday. Yeah yeah, you mean tom but
Speaker 1: they're one time yeah times square one. Yeah, and that
Speaker 1: was seven dollars in time. Okay, yeah, but you did
Speaker 1: get spinach. Let me guess the first Oh you want
Speaker 1: to I think I may have seen it on the email.
Speaker 1: First of all, I think you think that I would
Speaker 1: have picked it, but I just didn't feel like going
Speaker 1: down this road. Yeah, well, whoever wants to go down
Speaker 1: the road with me, I will just say that the
Speaker 1: whole Peta campaign. I just want to say one thing
Speaker 1: about the Peter campaign because I know that it was
Speaker 1: in the news yesterday. You may have seen it. Peters
Speaker 1: doing this new campaign where they try to like get you,
Speaker 1: get your attention by being like, look at the hypocrisy,
Speaker 1: like is it okay to wear these animals on your
Speaker 1: clothes as leather? And they made like a whole you know,
Speaker 1: fake store that's selling human skin merchandise, and everyone on
Speaker 1: Instagram luke, I would love to wear this jacket. Oh
Speaker 1: ironically enough, cool, Peter, you didn't trick me. I actually
Speaker 1: want the human head purse. And it's just like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't shut up. Shut up, you don't And yes,
Speaker 1: Peter can be so lame sometimes in their marketing. At
Speaker 1: least they're trying. And I know you're like, they actually
Speaker 1: killed more animal. Stand shut up. I don't want to
Speaker 1: hear any of it. People always are like, what do
Speaker 1: you like, Peter, they kill animals? You know what, I'm
Speaker 1: actually on board with what Peter does because I think
Speaker 1: it is actually more humane to kill animals than to
Speaker 1: put them into these fucking factory systems. Everyone always goes, why,
Speaker 1: what's your big my biggest problem. I don't everybody a
Speaker 1: shirt that says meat is murder, because murder is the
Speaker 1: nicest thing we do to these animals. It's their lives
Speaker 1: that suck. And I'm not saying I don't know all
Speaker 1: the details about Peter, but people always go, Peter, you know,
Speaker 1: wants to kill animals that are in these situations rather
Speaker 1: than just let them live in the situation. And I
Speaker 1: throw that too. Yes, exactly, I don't want these animals.
Speaker 1: I'm not playing Devil's advocate here because I do want
Speaker 1: a human head purse. But well, you know what devil's
Speaker 1: advocate is the devil, So yeah, defend the devil. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna advocate for the day. Okay for dv um
Speaker 1: uh with any in there. Um, So I don't I've
Speaker 1: lost I spell devil and around about you know what
Speaker 1: you're saying, spell words miss the letters come back to them.
Speaker 1: Just kidding. Um. If if let's say we take all
Speaker 1: the animals out of the factories, right, what are we
Speaker 1: going to do with them all? Oh no, no, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying. See that tone. I didn't even get a
Speaker 1: question out without. That's not a reason to keep. Let
Speaker 1: them all die. Let all those animals that are currently sure,
Speaker 1: let them all die, because it would actually be less
Speaker 1: animals dying than if we kept just killing them. But
Speaker 1: let them all die. There we go. Chickens won't go extinct.
Speaker 1: All the chickens that are still being raised and loved
Speaker 1: by people that aren't killing them. Let those ones live
Speaker 1: wild chickens, Let them live, wild cows, wild bulls. Let
Speaker 1: them keep some in captivity and make them make sure
Speaker 1: people are raising cows and nice. But all the ones
Speaker 1: that are being kept for food, try to get them homes.
Speaker 1: The ones that don't kill them or let him die.
Speaker 1: But in the end, less harm to the world. Than
Speaker 1: if we kept just doing it the way we've been
Speaker 1: doing it. There's no argument there. I didn't. I'm not
Speaker 1: arguing like you can stop a train. If you can
Speaker 1: push a guy in front of a train track and
Speaker 1: save you know, one person, you kill one person or
Speaker 1: kill five people, it's like you kill one person. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It depends who's on the train. That's a
Speaker 1: good point. You gotta train of kids going to fucking
Speaker 1: you know like that is that in northern California? Because
Speaker 1: that's where they were going? Okay, yeah, maybe it sounds
Speaker 1: like that. Maybe they were going to Carl's Bad. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Carl's so bad? Okay, what's the real news?
Speaker 1: And I literally picked that story. I skipped over you
Speaker 1: thought you were going to skip it. Now we went
Speaker 1: even deeper. But when I catch a vibe in the
Speaker 1: kitchen of like you like like you're not like I'm depressed,
Speaker 1: but you seem insanely happy right now, which is now, Um,
Speaker 1: I tend to go, what are some happy stories here?
Speaker 1: I always wrote, No, I go, can you send some
Speaker 1: happy stories? Nicky's in a mood, Nikki's tits are kettlebells?
Speaker 1: Today I am about to start my period, and I'm
Speaker 1: not it could even be a happy story. It's like
Speaker 1: kid gets rescued from orphanage and you're like funk or
Speaker 1: like like you find the negat like a like a tank. Good.
Speaker 1: That's what the US is. Yeah, true, Okay, Apple and
Speaker 1: What'sapp have built themselves into a multi billion dollar behemous
Speaker 1: while preaching the importance of privacy and secure messaging. But
Speaker 1: the FBI documents says it's easy for the FEDS to
Speaker 1: harvest data from Facebook's What's Happened, Apple's eye Message, and
Speaker 1: eye Cloud. Wait tell me what you just said. I
Speaker 1: don't even know. Oh no, no, so What's App and
Speaker 1: stuff like FBI if the FBI wants to get your records, yeah,
Speaker 1: whatever your ship is in the cloud. Maybe it's a nude,
Speaker 1: maybe it's a you know, talking about talking about you know,
Speaker 1: maybe another female comedian or a male or non binary. Uh,
Speaker 1: they could get five days. The last Facebook just has
Speaker 1: to hand it. It's an eye message. It's it's two
Speaker 1: separate things. There's WhatsApp and the data that they make
Speaker 1: available in I Message days. Well, that's I guess. I'm okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: go ahead. So I think like the main point of
Speaker 1: this is that Apple and Facebook are you know, totaling
Speaker 1: around there. Uh, you know, we're going to protect your
Speaker 1: privacy this and that. Meanwhile, it's very easy for the
Speaker 1: FBI and this new expose on Rolling Stone, for the
Speaker 1: FBI to access your private information, your messages, who who's
Speaker 1: in your contact book, what's in your eye cloud? So
Speaker 1: the stuff that you think is private is not really private. Um,
Speaker 1: if the FBI wants something about me, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not one of these people that's good about arguing
Speaker 1: against Like I'm like, I've got nothing to hide. If
Speaker 1: the FBI want to see like a picture of my
Speaker 1: ship I sent someone because it was like a big
Speaker 1: one or it looked exactly like a penis. There was
Speaker 1: one the other day that looked exactly like a pid.
Speaker 1: It was it had like the head, the ridge, the whole.
Speaker 1: Like it was crazy. It was like it was like
Speaker 1: it was like it was insane. But I always go,
Speaker 1: why why do I care if they But if the
Speaker 1: FBI once into my data, can I explain it in
Speaker 1: a way that because I was the same way, I
Speaker 1: was like, I have nothing to hide, But I think
Speaker 1: it's the can frame you, Well, no, no, it's not
Speaker 1: the right attitude, so like, think of it takes something
Speaker 1: that's important to you and that you know, like is
Speaker 1: a little bit controversial. So let's say they thought it
Speaker 1: was like a public health emergency, like how many people
Speaker 1: watch porn and they're like, let's go into people's messages
Speaker 1: and the people who are talking about porn or sending
Speaker 1: in a graphic images, they're risk to public health. So
Speaker 1: what if the f B I use it in that like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying, because it's like or it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, this is how like Nazi regimes start. They're like,
Speaker 1: let's see who's lying about being Jewish by looking through
Speaker 1: their messages and like and said that the other night
Speaker 1: on stage. I was like, when I just joked about
Speaker 1: us losing all our rights when Trump is re elected
Speaker 1: inevitably or is not re elected, but that he just
Speaker 1: takes the office, and there's fucking you know, we have
Speaker 1: a dictatorship, which is pretty imminent. I think at this point, um,
Speaker 1: how like I will be I I even said, I go,
Speaker 1: I will be beheaded in the town square for the
Speaker 1: special that I'm for the joke I just made. It
Speaker 1: will be used against me. We're Fox. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like China, North Korea, Like you cannot the things that
Speaker 1: we think now are innocent can be used against us.
Speaker 1: I was thinking today about some jokes that I've friends
Speaker 1: of mine have made in specials, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: cannot believe they haven't been canceled for that joke yet.
Speaker 1: I know where it is, I know where they could
Speaker 1: find it, and it's not like a joke, Like it's
Speaker 1: not like they they could be like things rules change,
Speaker 1: And I think that's the part point you're making. Noah's like,
Speaker 1: things that might be okay to joke about or to
Speaker 1: talk about in privacy if they want to suddenly make
Speaker 1: a law against it and convict people for whatever it is,
Speaker 1: you know, like even the abortion laws in Texas, Like
Speaker 1: let's say a girl is chatting about wanting to get
Speaker 1: an abortion or got you then want the FBI in
Speaker 1: your message totally. I mean there's things that I've sent
Speaker 1: in texts that are I don't send things in texts anymore,
Speaker 1: even jokingly ironic things that I'm saying, sarcastic things I'm
Speaker 1: saying because I'm like, it can be used against me.
Speaker 1: If I got hacked, someone could take that out of context.
Speaker 1: I'm even thinking about me saying kill all the animals
Speaker 1: that could be taken out of context, like Nikki wants
Speaker 1: animals to die, not in the context of versus keeping
Speaker 1: factory far been going forever or killing all the animals
Speaker 1: that are currently in it now, Like yeah, I'm saying that,
Speaker 1: but it's like that could be somehow used to you know.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I know, that's why, you know, but
Speaker 1: I'm not scared. I'm terrified. All right, let's keep going.
Speaker 1: The next one's fun. Dude, Um, Peter has now took
Speaker 1: dick skin. No, my mom the other night, Yes, last night,
Speaker 1: we were at the kid's house. This was such a
Speaker 1: real moment. And by the way, I think my mom
Speaker 1: listens to the podcast because I went on a tirade yesterday.
Speaker 1: Not a tirade, but I just was talking about like
Speaker 1: mourning the loss of the parent you wish you had,
Speaker 1: or the sister or any or the friend you wish
Speaker 1: you had, or like the group of friends or you know,
Speaker 1: you just get what you get, and it's not because
Speaker 1: you're a bad person. It's just like you didn't get
Speaker 1: Like sometimes we look at parents and we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, I wish my mom was like that, or
Speaker 1: I wish my dad was like that, or like, you know,
Speaker 1: I wish my mom didn't have this quality, but she
Speaker 1: had this one instead. It's like, you don't always get
Speaker 1: everything you want, and you just have to you really
Speaker 1: have to, like, instead of waiting for your mom to
Speaker 1: be that person out of nowhere, you just have to
Speaker 1: accept that you didn't get that mom and you have
Speaker 1: to like literally have like mourn that loss of the
Speaker 1: imaginary mom you wish. And I think my mom heard
Speaker 1: it because this morning I woke up to a text
Speaker 1: that said, because yesterday I told her that Lauren was
Speaker 1: on the podcast, and I'm like, oh god, she probably
Speaker 1: listened to it. She goes, yeah, you gotta give her
Speaker 1: a timestamp next time. I goes, um, you want to
Speaker 1: come over some time this week and hang out or
Speaker 1: go do something. My mom is never It's like, never
Speaker 1: asked me to hang out, so cute, and I was,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I was like, what the fund are
Speaker 1: we going to do? But then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: we can go shopping. I need to get some stuff
Speaker 1: for the house. And I was like, Okay, let's go
Speaker 1: shopping and our manny petties, and she said, not sure
Speaker 1: about manny petties unless my foot heels up a little bit.
Speaker 1: My baby toe is tender. I took a scalpel to
Speaker 1: my mom's foot yesterday and I went a little hard
Speaker 1: on her baby toe and I nicked it. And I
Speaker 1: feel so bad. It's just like the littlest nick And
Speaker 1: she's like, I forget old people like don't heal as well.
Speaker 1: It's so I'm such a fucking bad daughter. But I
Speaker 1: did get her corn out, which is gonna bring her
Speaker 1: an immense relief. But I got a little uh scalpel
Speaker 1: happy um. Anyway, last but you took the toe down
Speaker 1: as well. I just saw this toe and I was like,
Speaker 1: I just want to get this piece and I was
Speaker 1: just was not being very gentle and blood um okay,
Speaker 1: so next story. But my mom, I was like, we're
Speaker 1: going to She goes nikky. Do you have her? Um?
Speaker 1: You never think about freezing your eggs? Like very quietly?
Speaker 1: And you know, this is my dad's in the kitchen
Speaker 1: with Matt. The kids are running around. My sister's upstairs
Speaker 1: with Forest, and I go, mom, just listen for a second.
Speaker 1: Let's just just listen and it's just like, yow boy,
Speaker 1: I want that. It's mud I want that. I want
Speaker 1: all more like just and I go, do you think
Speaker 1: I need that? Do you wish that for me? Like?
Speaker 1: You know what my life is? Why does everyone want
Speaker 1: you to have kids when it's like, my life is
Speaker 1: so good. I'm sitting here, I'm cutting up at your foot.
Speaker 1: I get to visit these kids. I just taped a
Speaker 1: special I have. I'm not sad tonight, Like why, I go,
Speaker 1: why would you want that for me? And she goes,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I even said that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, if and if I do want it,
Speaker 1: I'll adopt. But I don't want that. I don't want it.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad. I'm I'm glad certain people want it
Speaker 1: because I love my niece and nephew and I know
Speaker 1: that they give a lot of pleasure to my um.
Speaker 1: My whole family is like we're obsessed with them. But
Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't want that. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just her about and I love how
Speaker 1: she said, do you ever think about freezing your eggs?
Speaker 1: Almost like, um, don't forget to bring a coat to
Speaker 1: New York this weekend because it's different climate there, like
Speaker 1: she said it, like I hadn't thought of it, Like
Speaker 1: it was just like the first time someone had been like,
Speaker 1: don't forget your passport, Like did you ever think about
Speaker 1: freezing your eggs? Like oh wait, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: thirty seven and I haven't thought about freezing my that's thoughts. Never. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, it asks what is the process of freezing
Speaker 1: your eggs, giving yourself fucking hormone injections and then paying
Speaker 1: thousands of thousands of dollars? It's rough? How did they
Speaker 1: take them out? They go in and they fucking you
Speaker 1: sit in a coup ball for a month, and a
Speaker 1: farmer comes in and rustles around underneath your fucking and
Speaker 1: grab and you'd snap at him. Yeah it's not easy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never frozen. Also, I can be like it looks
Speaker 1: like me no, thank you, Okay, you're gonna like this story.
Speaker 1: A woman goes viral after sharing her elaborate fake wedding,
Speaker 1: complete with a professional photographer and fake room, in a
Speaker 1: desperate attempt to get her ex to text her. And
Speaker 1: not only that she put it up as a story
Speaker 1: on Instagram, she saw that the act saw this story,
Speaker 1: which hurt her even more because he said nothing nothing.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, how do we know about this? She put
Speaker 1: it on TikTok and she goes at time when I
Speaker 1: made fake photos, she rented a stable with horses. She
Speaker 1: did the whole thing. That is so funny because on
Speaker 1: the redditum today I have something very similar. I love
Speaker 1: these because we've all done this on a micro level.
Speaker 1: These women are masterminds of it. Though we've all done
Speaker 1: this where we make our lives look a little bit
Speaker 1: more exciting to target one person. You know, what's her
Speaker 1: exit strategy here? Let's say the guy goes, I'm jealous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's married. Now what's what's your plan here, lady? Or
Speaker 1: do you just want the attention of him getting sad?
Speaker 1: Because once you're married, the person goes, I'm out. This
Speaker 1: is gonna be like the graduate where he's going to
Speaker 1: come and bang on the fucking glass and try to
Speaker 1: stop your wedding. Yeah, you would have been better off
Speaker 1: like putting up like a video of you at the
Speaker 1: movies having popcorn with a guy. Yes you don't want
Speaker 1: to go? Will I show you this thing on Reddit
Speaker 1: of what this girl did? This girl? This, this girl
Speaker 1: when you know, a step pretty much was the same
Speaker 1: kind of thought process but didn't go that far, because
Speaker 1: that is interesting where you're mourning the loss of your
Speaker 1: now boyfriend who died, you know, are you going to
Speaker 1: keep that up? Though? These people are lying a better
Speaker 1: move than a wedding. I mean we've all done. I
Speaker 1: mean we do it every single day, a version of
Speaker 1: putting the curated truth out there that isn't really the truth.
Speaker 1: And even when it's like I've been crying all day
Speaker 1: and today is a rough day, and you're like in
Speaker 1: your car, like some days aren't great days, and this
Speaker 1: goes out to anyone else struggling today, Like it's like
Speaker 1: that is curated. Your tear looks beautiful. Your your ugly
Speaker 1: cry face is like one is an enviable one. And
Speaker 1: you know it is like you're still wearing a perfectly
Speaker 1: like you probably fix your bra strap in the photo
Speaker 1: just to look like a little good Like it's rare.
Speaker 1: Is just totally on photos of you. Who I love
Speaker 1: one Instagram that Noah got me into, who is just
Speaker 1: truly honest and like I think isn't trying to be anything.
Speaker 1: Is Page Gin. Oh my god, I love Page Gin.
Speaker 1: You got me into her because Noah, by the way,
Speaker 1: you posted Okay, so she does um it's called the
Speaker 1: viral podcast. I think with Chelsea lynn Um, Chelsea Linnen,
Speaker 1: Page Jin do this podcast called viral podcast. I started
Speaker 1: following just the clips because Noah posted them. No no
Speaker 1: One posted one in her story and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love Page Gin's voice is like
Speaker 1: so soothing and she just like she reminds me of Noah.
Speaker 1: So Noa's obsessed with her. I go, Noah, it's you.
Speaker 1: It is you. This girl is you. But then I
Speaker 1: went to page page Gin is like on on the Instagram.
Speaker 1: She's just like she kind of like sometimes has like
Speaker 1: glasses on and she just doesn't look like she really
Speaker 1: like puts that much work into looking hot. She's just
Speaker 1: like and she'll just like talk about anything, like I
Speaker 1: farted today and it was like it was like one
Speaker 1: that like scared me, dude, Like she'll just talk about
Speaker 1: and she's like yeah, and the way they I just love.
Speaker 1: We gotta start editing our clip. She's like their videos
Speaker 1: of her um roller skating in public and like doing
Speaker 1: fake and she's an amazing athlete. She's so funny and
Speaker 1: she's but she's so hot, and she does this thing
Speaker 1: where she'll put like, um, she'll do like birth announcements
Speaker 1: by putting powder up her butt and then farting and
Speaker 1: then it will come out the color of like the
Speaker 1: baby's like I don't even know if it's a birth announcement,
Speaker 1: but like, she just she always has her ass out.
Speaker 1: She's farting all the time. She's so hot. She's really
Speaker 1: good at sports page jin g I and and and
Speaker 1: reminds me of Noah so much. The way she talks
Speaker 1: is like very soft and like, oh yeah, I think
Speaker 1: we should do like her. And then Chelsea is so
Speaker 1: beautiful and like the way she talks, it's just like
Speaker 1: she's always like I just yeah, I get obsessed with
Speaker 1: their clips. I love. I don't listen to their podcast
Speaker 1: because I don't really listen to comedy podcast, but you know,
Speaker 1: I love podcast clips and they're a great one to follow. So,
Speaker 1: and Chelsea just got banned from from sucking Instagram for something.
Speaker 1: But I just tried to click on her thing and
Speaker 1: it didn't come on. Yeah, she got banned, so she's
Speaker 1: getting back in, But I thank you so much, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: She had an amazing video Chelsea where she's eating at
Speaker 1: like a restaurant I think like in Vegas or something,
Speaker 1: and this roach walks along the table. She takes her
Speaker 1: tip because she has huge tits, and she just bangs
Speaker 1: the roach with her tit and the continues eating. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, she's my hero. She's They're so cool. I
Speaker 1: love those girls. I want to be friends with them.
Speaker 1: I'm super and pages like this hot boyfriend and all
Speaker 1: they do is like fart together, and they're so they
Speaker 1: have so much fun and prank each other. Like I'm
Speaker 1: very usually not into these couples that prank each other
Speaker 1: all the time, but for some reason, their love is
Speaker 1: so pure and so adorable. And then there's I like
Speaker 1: went on a deep dive of like their relationship and
Speaker 1: like they just bonded over farts, Like I just love
Speaker 1: I love them. I'm obsessed. Last night and it was
Speaker 1: smelly enough way to go get uh the spray and
Speaker 1: it was like I hate spraying over a fart because
Speaker 1: then it just almost like like you know, like a
Speaker 1: Gardenia fart. Gainia's putting a band aid over yeah, and
Speaker 1: it makes it almost like a sweeter, like you're still
Speaker 1: getting those little poop particles in your noves. I felt bad.
Speaker 1: I felt bad because I was laughing over my leg
Speaker 1: because you can't. I don't care if you fart, you can't.
Speaker 1: Just giving me chill. This this changes everything, Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it seems so intentional. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was talking
Speaker 1: to my lover on the phone and I went to
Speaker 1: go pee while we were I was talking. No, I
Speaker 1: just he does not like bathroom stuff at all, which
Speaker 1: is ironic because listen, yeah, he's seen some ship um,
Speaker 1: but it's always you know, he just he just really
Speaker 1: likes the boundary of like no, and I'm talking on
Speaker 1: the phone. All of a sudden, I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh my god, I'm so sorry and peeing.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. And you know, I've known this guy
Speaker 1: for quite a while and he was just like it's okay. Like,
Speaker 1: and I had to do the thing where I pucked toilet,
Speaker 1: but I didn't want to stop peeing, and my phone
Speaker 1: was in the other room because I was on air pods,
Speaker 1: so I didn't know how to like, I couldn't mute
Speaker 1: it because I was already midstream. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: give up, So what I did was I took the
Speaker 1: toilet paper and I rolled it out very very far,
Speaker 1: and then I made I tucked it into my vagina
Speaker 1: and then I made a little ramp for the p
Speaker 1: trickle to go down into the toilet and not go thinking.
Speaker 1: And it's that's a that's a technique. Girls. You put
Speaker 1: a silencer on your pussy like gun. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 1: a ramp. You just make it so it has like
Speaker 1: a journey down, so it goes down to slide as
Speaker 1: opposed to go. I made like a like a damn
Speaker 1: that like a beaver dam. Yeah. And that's what I
Speaker 1: do for or what to call it? What to call that?
Speaker 1: That when back the boundaries that other people have, even
Speaker 1: though I don't necessarily agree with them. True, what's the hurricane?
Speaker 1: When when the hurricane New Orleans it went over the Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the levy, your levy. You built a levy, Yes,
Speaker 1: I did. Got there. I was like, it's almost like
Speaker 1: the little ramp that UM are in pools for frogs
Speaker 1: to get out of. I did the same thing last night.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're very similar. I not that I have
Speaker 1: so many techniques by the way for UM people to
Speaker 1: But the problem is you could hear a fart over ship,
Speaker 1: which is similar to a spray on top of a fart.
Speaker 1: We're just trying to I actually gave one of our besties, um,
Speaker 1: some of the best advice I've ever written out in
Speaker 1: my life, and UM, I think I should share it
Speaker 1: on Fanthrox tomorrow. I don't think I ever shared it
Speaker 1: once before, but I was going to do a bit
Speaker 1: up about it on stage because it's just like great
Speaker 1: advice about how to poop um with a partner in
Speaker 1: then in the next room and um, while you write
Speaker 1: it out and we'll post it on the I did
Speaker 1: write it out. I'll yeah, maybe I'll do that. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get to let's get to break we blue pass,
Speaker 1: why do we care? And let's go. Let's just start
Speaker 1: when we come back with Reddit Dump. Let's get to
Speaker 1: our Reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your I literally
Speaker 1: sang that today when Luigi was taking a dump. Okay, UM,
Speaker 1: I don't know why I saved this. I think I
Speaker 1: saved this more for um, not for the show, but
Speaker 1: for uh my friends who still are defending still have
Speaker 1: a problem with you know, the Dave Chappelle, the whole
Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle thing and his obsession with making fun of
Speaker 1: trans people. Uh, I know what's I love Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 1: I fall on the side of like well, I love
Speaker 1: the clip that I posted the other day on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play it real quick for you. This will
Speaker 1: shut everyone up not shutting. And I did find this
Speaker 1: on Reddit, so this is apropos um but this is
Speaker 1: my favorite clip. Um. This is from Uh, this is
Speaker 1: John Appropo. This is from James A Castor, who is
Speaker 1: one of my favorite comedians and like writers. He's a
Speaker 1: British comedian and he um. This is his clip I
Speaker 1: found on Reddit in a section that was, you know,
Speaker 1: dissecting the Chappelle stuff and trans rights and all the things,
Speaker 1: the arguments against making fun of them and for making
Speaker 1: fun of them. I'm on the side of this clip
Speaker 1: which I'm about to play, which is trans people still
Speaker 1: have higher suicide rates than literally every other minority. Why
Speaker 1: do if you can, if you I understand that you
Speaker 1: should be able to make fun of anyone you want.
Speaker 1: I I definitely air on the side of like free speech.
Speaker 1: But if you can, if you're smart enough comedian to
Speaker 1: choose something to make fun of, what and and are
Speaker 1: you encountering that many trans people in your life that
Speaker 1: it's so annoying for you to get their pronoun right
Speaker 1: or too. Is it that much of a hindrance to
Speaker 1: your day that you have to make that big of
Speaker 1: a deal of it. Just let them be unless they're
Speaker 1: hurting you. Let them be. Um And this is this
Speaker 1: is the James A. Gust the clip that I love
Speaker 1: so much. I say whatever they like, Edgie comedians, no
Speaker 1: one tells them what they can and can't say. They
Speaker 1: will straight on stage top of their specials. Sometimes do
Speaker 1: tens tolive minutes just slanging off transgender people because straight
Speaker 1: out the gate, just making fun of transgender people that
Speaker 1: people on the internet get upset about it. The comedians
Speaker 1: always like god luck, that's not I'm a stand up comedian.
Speaker 1: I'm meant to challenge people. If you are not being challenged,
Speaker 1: but don't watch my shows? And wat's the matter? Guystude?
Speaker 1: Shall I do? It's not job. I'm a stand up comedian.
Speaker 1: I'll mend your challenge people. But if you're not being
Speaker 1: challenge don't watch my shows. What's the other guys to
Speaker 1: shoe you? Tom meeting? But I'm man to challenge frequently.
Speaker 1: Not being challenge don't watch my shows. What's the other
Speaker 1: guys to shoge? Oh? Yeah, because you know he's been
Speaker 1: long over to a challenge the trans community. Oh, they've
Speaker 1: got that dog down for too long. If you asked me,
Speaker 1: I mean not said anyway. There was this clip. There
Speaker 1: was I don't know why this was in a subreddit
Speaker 1: called bread tube. I don't know what that means. I
Speaker 1: guess it was a suggested subredit um. And this was
Speaker 1: just someone broke down why. I'm not even gonna get
Speaker 1: into it, but they broke down perfectly. The arguments for
Speaker 1: why Dave Chappelle is special was problematic, and like they are,
Speaker 1: just I love when someone just gives me solid reasoning
Speaker 1: that I can kind of go toe to toe with
Speaker 1: someone who's trying to this agree. Did you hear about
Speaker 1: him going to his high school. Yeah, where they wouldn't
Speaker 1: let cameras. They should have, because the stories that came
Speaker 1: out of it just from people trying to remember they
Speaker 1: wouldn't let anyone record it. Or I thought he was
Speaker 1: trying to donate money and they wouldn't let him donate money,
Speaker 1: and that, well, yeah, he's he's trying to get a theater.
Speaker 1: The theater is named after him, and he's like, they're
Speaker 1: trying to get the theater not named after him, and
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm getting canceled from ship. I don't even want,
Speaker 1: like I don't care, which is funny to say that. Um,
Speaker 1: but he told he just got into like arguments with
Speaker 1: a lot of the kids and was just talking over
Speaker 1: them and what. And you know, these kids are very
Speaker 1: entitled and don't really they didn't grow up with Chappelle's sow,
Speaker 1: so they don't respect him the same way that he's
Speaker 1: probably used to teenagers perspecting him. He's gonna been gone
Speaker 1: a while and probably hasn't been out around high school kids.
Speaker 1: And um, yeah, anyway, Um. Someone just wrote though in
Speaker 1: this comments of David Chappelle's special, they go Uh Netflix
Speaker 1: paid twenty five million dollars for a vlog. Um okay,
Speaker 1: so here's uh. This is one from suggests me a book,
Speaker 1: which is a separate that I love where people just
Speaker 1: write like what they like in a book or books
Speaker 1: they liked, and then people who love reading suggest them
Speaker 1: a book. And I liked this. It said books that
Speaker 1: give you a massive book hangover, which I love. You know,
Speaker 1: those times where you read a book and you can't
Speaker 1: stop thinking about it. A movie you can't stop thinking
Speaker 1: about afterwards, A massage where you feel violent. Um. I
Speaker 1: was saying I hadn't hang over after that massage. Um.
Speaker 1: These are some of the books that were in the
Speaker 1: top listed once. If anyone's looking for a new book.
Speaker 1: Lonesome Dove, the Goldfinch. I've read that didn't care for it,
Speaker 1: that I didn't love it as much as people. David
Speaker 1: Copperfield by Charles Dickens were in peace. Um. Uh, Broken
Speaker 1: Earth trilogy. Um, this is how you lose the Time War,
Speaker 1: My Brilliant Friend, his Dark Materials, Lord of the Rings,
Speaker 1: second Hand Time Anna Karnina. Um. You guys, have any
Speaker 1: books that you would recommend as the ones that you
Speaker 1: just stayed with you and and almost that you wish
Speaker 1: you could read again because they were so good. And
Speaker 1: I know we're not. I'm not a big huge reader.
Speaker 1: I have been in the past, but yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to this much. I know it's true. Is my
Speaker 1: favorite book by Wally Lamb. And that's when I've read
Speaker 1: twice and would probably read a third time. Books do
Speaker 1: not stay with me in terms of I can't remember
Speaker 1: them after I put them down years later. It's a
Speaker 1: gift because I get to keep reading things over and
Speaker 1: still get surprised. But that's one that I love. Like
Speaker 1: my music, Like you know, I like The Strokes and
Speaker 1: Tom Petty. I'm very basic bitch and a lot of
Speaker 1: my things. And like even when I think about books
Speaker 1: because I haven't read that much, but like on the Road,
Speaker 1: Oh I haven't read that, it just makes me like
Speaker 1: it just relates a lot to my life. I feel
Speaker 1: like even catching the Rye like just being kind of
Speaker 1: like not really kind of finding yourself through doing things.
Speaker 1: Uh old Man in the Sea, which is just like
Speaker 1: that's cool too. But these are all very simple books.
Speaker 1: Like I love how Hemingway Rights I got through. I
Speaker 1: was in a moment where I read like five of
Speaker 1: his books and like uh yeah I and then I like, um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what I've been. What is in
Speaker 1: my want to read books? In Cold Blood Truman Cabode,
Speaker 1: I need to read that Crossroads, It's the new Jonathan
Speaker 1: Jonathan Franzen. I loved the one of Jonathan Frans's books.
Speaker 1: He's a Saint Louis Guy. Um uh, let's see, so
Speaker 1: you've been publicly shamed by John Ronson um. And then
Speaker 1: there's oh God, the Alchemist, the Silent Patient. These are
Speaker 1: all things that have been uh the poison would Bible? Um,
Speaker 1: and oh East of Eden is gonna be my next one.
Speaker 1: Those are ones East of Nan and Ann and Karnada
Speaker 1: are the ones that I'm like, Okay, those are classics
Speaker 1: I need to read. And David Cofferfield, Um, no any
Speaker 1: books to you that stand out as ones that give
Speaker 1: you hangovers? Uh? You know, I I can never remember,
Speaker 1: like when I'm reading fiction books. I remember, like one
Speaker 1: time I got through Paradise Lost, which by you know,
Speaker 1: that's like the hardest book to read, and of course
Speaker 1: I have read nothing at the end and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I achieved anything by getting to
Speaker 1: the end. Um. Yeah, I would like to take suggestions
Speaker 1: if anyone out there feels strongly that I would love
Speaker 1: a book like you feel like you know me, I
Speaker 1: would definitely take your d M suggestion. Please. I just
Speaker 1: had to find this, yeah, because Jonathan, you know Jonathan Tropper. Yeah,
Speaker 1: on my phone he wrote, have you ever seen a movie?
Speaker 1: This is where I leave you? But yeah, Jonathan Tropper,
Speaker 1: Before I got in the stand up. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I never laughed at a book out loud,
Speaker 1: like like laughing hard. Jonathan Tropper, Jonathan Tropper or Trooper
Speaker 1: Trooper doesn't matter t R o PPR. So this is
Speaker 1: where I leave you. He has like made you laugh
Speaker 1: out loud. This is where I leave you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to read it. Well, let's get back on Reddit dump um.
Speaker 1: This is one of the best jokes I've ever read,
Speaker 1: and it makes me furious that I haven't thought of
Speaker 1: it for a roast. It was just an Internet comment
Speaker 1: and this was from the subredit rare insults, which are
Speaker 1: just really good insults that they find on comments or
Speaker 1: you know, anywhere on the internet, you know, text screenshots.
Speaker 1: This one was This was a comment under kid rocks
Speaker 1: new music video and said kid Rock is an artist
Speaker 1: that stops at nothing and then stays there. I mean,
Speaker 1: how good is that that? See, that's a roast joke
Speaker 1: that's just been sitting there forever and no one's thought
Speaker 1: of it. But like to take something that usually means
Speaker 1: you are the fucking best you stop at nothing, and
Speaker 1: then to make it about I mean, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: I know, right, it wouldn't be surprised. Okay, so this
Speaker 1: is the one that I wanted to share with you
Speaker 1: guys that reminded me of the thing from before. It's
Speaker 1: going to find all thought. So this is from sad
Speaker 1: Cringe the subreddit and this is just obviously happy. Yes.
Speaker 1: So this is a girl who did the same thing
Speaker 1: from our new segment that wanted to make a boyfriend jealous,
Speaker 1: and she said she goes rating all. This is what
Speaker 1: it says on our TikTok the the she's on a
Speaker 1: video I'm going to play in a second, but it
Speaker 1: says rating all the embarrassing things I posted to my
Speaker 1: Insta story to try and get my ex boyfriend's attention. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Tina, I was going through a really bad breakup
Speaker 1: and I engaged in this absolutely unhinged behavior where I
Speaker 1: would hide my Instagram story from every single person that
Speaker 1: followed me except for my ex boyfriend. Wait, okay, first
Speaker 1: of all, that is who knows even if it's insane,
Speaker 1: and it had to at least have been of So
Speaker 1: this girl is going through which, by the way, every
Speaker 1: single I'm not gonna say every single woman, but any
Speaker 1: unhinged lady out there that's been hurt by a guy
Speaker 1: has thought of a way to do this where you
Speaker 1: are trying to put out something that looks like it's
Speaker 1: for everyone, but you don't want everyone to see how
Speaker 1: desperate you are or to see catch you in this lie,
Speaker 1: and you just like one person to see it. This
Speaker 1: bitch went ahead and did it people except for him,
Speaker 1: so I would post a story literally only for him
Speaker 1: to see it. Um. And every time I share this
Speaker 1: with my friends and family, everyone gets a kick out
Speaker 1: of it and it's glarious. So I'm not going to
Speaker 1: share it with the world. And i also want to
Speaker 1: know if anyone else has ever done this. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: so this is actually from This is a girl in
Speaker 1: her room taking up selfie in the mirror. I posted
Speaker 1: this picture like cute New Year's Eve outfit, saying I
Speaker 1: was ready for the year to be over. Um, I
Speaker 1: actually did not go out that night. I put on
Speaker 1: this outfit, put on jewelry, did my makeup, put on
Speaker 1: heels to take this photo, and then I went and
Speaker 1: sat downstairs with my mom and my sister and probably
Speaker 1: was asleep before midnight. She goes on to share one
Speaker 1: where she's in the watch she takes a picture of
Speaker 1: um uh, it's like it's a glowy picture. Is selfie? Okay,
Speaker 1: and it says j K, because every year is a
Speaker 1: chance to grow and learn, and it's like she goes seven.
Speaker 1: Oh so she's rating these. This one's funny to hold on. No,
Speaker 1: it's okay if I keep sharing this. Yeah, No, I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh I think I did that before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember when I did that. I love that this
Speaker 1: girl is sharing this, And it's almost funnier because these
Speaker 1: these new generations are so self reflective that they can
Speaker 1: they can catch these things quicker, like usually this would
Speaker 1: be something you share ten years later, not a month later.
Speaker 1: Because this girl looks the same as the girl in
Speaker 1: these photos. You know. It's interesting to me though, It's
Speaker 1: like there's a line between like being self reflective and
Speaker 1: wanting to go viral. Yeah, so there's like I appreciate
Speaker 1: it that some people do embarrassing things too and then
Speaker 1: share it and be like brave, But this I still
Speaker 1: think we all benefit from it. Of course, of course. Okay,
Speaker 1: this one's gonna follow up because this was also for
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve and in the eighteen UM obviously, like
Speaker 1: I had done my makeup put on jewelry and I
Speaker 1: actually went into my closet and I turned all the
Speaker 1: lights off and made sure that it was really dark. Um,
Speaker 1: and I took a boomerang. This is just a screenshot
Speaker 1: of that boomerang. But I was attempting to make it
Speaker 1: look like I was in a club, which our closet,
Speaker 1: which I was an adult closet. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I thought that one was good. Okay, so then in
Speaker 1: a club, but we're gonna go with seven out of ten?
Speaker 1: Do think that's cute? But in the effort was there,
Speaker 1: But I just think execution was poor. Okay, Okay, this
Speaker 1: one's wild. So it's a picture of her in an
Speaker 1: like in the backseat of an uber It looks like
Speaker 1: she is doing a selfie. And what she had written
Speaker 1: on the post when she originally posted it was always
Speaker 1: fun when you're seven year old uber driver. Uber driver
Speaker 1: home asked what happened to your head? And you've got
Speaker 1: to disappoint her and tell her you ran into a
Speaker 1: street sign. And then she has a circle over mark
Speaker 1: on her head that like where she has like a
Speaker 1: kind of scratched on her foreard, a tiny scratch and
Speaker 1: there's a circle on it that she has posted. Now,
Speaker 1: this is a great story, very specific purpose, and honestly,
Speaker 1: who knows if he actually picked up on what that was.
Speaker 1: But this was another boomerang, I think. But it was
Speaker 1: showing how I had a scrape on my head because
Speaker 1: I ran into a street sign when I was out
Speaker 1: with some friends and I ended up staying the night
Speaker 1: at someone's place. So this was taken in the uber
Speaker 1: ride home the next morning, and I said something about
Speaker 1: how the uber driver asked, what happened to my head?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? In what world? But an Uber driver noticed
Speaker 1: that tiny scrape on someone in the back seat of
Speaker 1: their car. Besides the point, um, but the point I
Speaker 1: was trying to get across was that I was ubering
Speaker 1: home the next morning, like on a weekend morning, early
Speaker 1: in the morning. So I wanted him to think that
Speaker 1: I had hooked up with somebody and was heading out. Um,
Speaker 1: the scrape in the sign hitting my head, that part
Speaker 1: was true, with the Uber driver asked, king was not true.
Speaker 1: So a little bit of a seat in there. We're
Speaker 1: gonna give it eight out of ten. I mean, I
Speaker 1: just I writer, like what happened? Oh, we don't get
Speaker 1: that answer. We don't get that answer, not I mean
Speaker 1: usually it's it's like girls that think of all these
Speaker 1: elaborate schemes and guys don't even think twice. But she's
Speaker 1: so smart and leaning into the heart strings of an injury.
Speaker 1: I have done things, you know, girls, girls do this
Speaker 1: way more than men because girls think girls. I've learned
Speaker 1: through reading these books about the differences between the male
Speaker 1: and the female brain. I don't want to say we're smarter,
Speaker 1: because obviously this is some dumb ship, but we are
Speaker 1: thinking in a very layered way. Men are a sheet
Speaker 1: cake and women are a meal defoy, which is like
Speaker 1: a like like a very layered French pastry with thin layers.
Speaker 1: Men are just basic and they just are very like.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't think this way. It's manipulate, if
Speaker 1: it's crazy, it's sociopathic. But the way we we think
Speaker 1: about how you're going to we're very perceptive. We're very emotionally. Oh,
Speaker 1: I think we are so much of the time. I
Speaker 1: do think that this man, if he did care for her,
Speaker 1: which she's trying to test, if he cares for her,
Speaker 1: he would give a shit about those things, if he
Speaker 1: would infer those things. She's not off of what human
Speaker 1: reactions would be if he did care for her still,
Speaker 1: but because he's it's dependent on that. So she's not
Speaker 1: wrong if she's if she you know, if he still
Speaker 1: likes her. It is interesting not to see keep escalating
Speaker 1: to eventually she's just doing nudes because it's just for
Speaker 1: him because no one else can see it. And he's
Speaker 1: just like what I on my Instagram on block like
Speaker 1: hit everyone you know I went through. I hired some
Speaker 1: much to comute me on to everyone except one person,
Speaker 1: and then I started doing full blown nudes to just
Speaker 1: make that person think I had gone completely fucking insane. Dude,
Speaker 1: that's so funny. Do it? Oh my god. The only
Speaker 1: problem that I see I have an idea because there's
Speaker 1: gonna be maybe and then I would be a problem.
Speaker 1: But one of them is like the time, well, you
Speaker 1: would do it in a way that is, it wouldn't
Speaker 1: get you canceled necessarily. Yes. I want to close with
Speaker 1: one thing that needs no commentary, but its thought. It
Speaker 1: was beautiful. This is Stanley. This is from made Me
Speaker 1: Smile the subreddit, and this is Stanley, the creator of
Speaker 1: where he says peace everyone, get along, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is about uh, Spider Man's costume, And this is
Speaker 1: Stan Stanley talking about Spiderman's costume is so cute. The
Speaker 1: greatest things about Spider Man's outfit his costume was he
Speaker 1: is completely covered, so any kid could imagine he's Spider
Speaker 1: Man because no color of the skin shows. He could
Speaker 1: be black under that, he could be and he could
Speaker 1: be yellow. We could belong to any race. And that
Speaker 1: wasn't done purposely. It was done accidentally. But I think
Speaker 1: it was the best thing we did, making him so
Speaker 1: that he could beat anybody under that costume. I thought
Speaker 1: that was so beautiful and I like that he was
Speaker 1: honest about it wasn't on purpose. I don't I like
Speaker 1: that too. Thank you guys for listening today. What a
Speaker 1: good pod. I'm in a good moon now started off
Speaker 1: a little hazy. Um. Love you guys, some of your
Speaker 1: book rocks. Don't be coo out there. And Jick, no,
Speaker 1: you can't just you can't just add hey, Spider Man
Speaker 1: could be anything, and so cann think about it. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to just