WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Awkward Kidsome

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<v Speaker 1>Brooking jewels. Second, it's always tough when you're single and

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<v Speaker 1>you have a kid trying to figure out when the

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<v Speaker 1>proper time is to drop that on a person you're dating.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have a kid, thankfully, you think for the world, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>But if I did, I would think the best time

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<v Speaker 1>would be on a first date when they come to

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<v Speaker 1>your house to pick you up. Oh, just like show

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<v Speaker 1>them the kid in. You're just like, hey, coming along,

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<v Speaker 1>you're buying us both, then the right, and then you

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<v Speaker 1>introduced the kid like, hey, this is your new mommy. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the best time to do because then they're kind

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<v Speaker 1>of roped in at that point they're not gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>a jerk and tell the kid, no, they're not. That

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<v Speaker 1>was kind of the issue that Chuck had on his

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<v Speaker 1>first date with a girl named Kim. He emailed us

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<v Speaker 1>and wants us to call Kim today. Hey, Chuck, how

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<v Speaker 1>you doing? Hey, what's up guys? Not much, Chuck, Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for the email. Thank you. So, Chuck, are you the

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<v Speaker 1>father or was the date the mother who has a kid?

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<v Speaker 1>I am the father. You are the father, And apparently,

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<v Speaker 1>according to your email, when you told this girl that

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<v Speaker 1>you had a kid, she didn't react very well to it,

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<v Speaker 1>and you think that's the reason she's not calling you

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<v Speaker 1>back today. I think so, yeah, it's got to be

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<v Speaker 1>all right. First of all, tell us a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>about Kim. Oh. She was awesome. We met online. She

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<v Speaker 1>had a great profile. It's a great sense of humor.

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<v Speaker 1>She was just like, I mean, she's awesome. So you

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<v Speaker 1>don't put online that you have a kid or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>I did not put that on my profile. Now why,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess has a lot of the dates that go

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<v Speaker 1>on there, they're usually just one date, first date, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's it because you didn't click. But with Kim, it

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<v Speaker 1>was different. Just right off the bat, it was just

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<v Speaker 1>sort of like we really clicked and thought that it

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<v Speaker 1>was important to tell her when and how did you

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<v Speaker 1>break the kid news to her? Chuck As we were

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<v Speaker 1>walking downtown, I felt the moment. It was kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a heavy moment, and I was just like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I really like you, Kim, and I'd like to go

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<v Speaker 1>on another date, but I have to tell you, you you know,

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<v Speaker 1>right off the bat that I do have a six

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<v Speaker 1>year old boy, and you know, so it was more

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<v Speaker 1>like I wanted her to know about me, you know, right,

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<v Speaker 1>you said it like that though, like, hey, I like

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<v Speaker 1>you and I want to go out again, so I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to tell you I have a kid. That's kind

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<v Speaker 1>of an awkward way to say it. It's kind of sweet,

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<v Speaker 1>like he's saying he's complimenting her, he's showing interest, he's

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<v Speaker 1>showing vulnerability. I don't think it's bad at all. I

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<v Speaker 1>just think any first date where you're like, I like

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<v Speaker 1>you a lot, it's going to scare people away. YEA sweet.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it would have been really great if she

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<v Speaker 1>would have had a positive reaction to it, but it

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<v Speaker 1>was like kind of hit her and then her eyes

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<v Speaker 1>just went to the ground and she didn't say anything

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<v Speaker 1>for a couple of minutes. So so you said, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a kid actually, and she went you sort

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<v Speaker 1>of a non verbal that's what you felt, kind of yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>has this happened to you before? Yeah, I will say,

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<v Speaker 1>Chuck that having online dated sometimes it's just the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that girls feel like you hid something from them, or

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<v Speaker 1>you deceived the like on your profile, it's not necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>the information. Did you ask her what she thought about kids?

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<v Speaker 1>Not really, we didn't really get into it. It's pretty

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<v Speaker 1>kind of obvious what she thinks about kids. If you

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<v Speaker 1>bring up the fact that you have a kid and

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<v Speaker 1>she just stops talking to you on your date, I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's a lot of information the process kelling right there.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you think you know why she's not calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back, you're pretty sure it's a fact that you

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<v Speaker 1>have a kid. What do you hope to get out

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<v Speaker 1>of a second date update? I guess it's more like

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<v Speaker 1>just to see what she's thought about it, because she

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<v Speaker 1>never really expressed what she thought. She never really told

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<v Speaker 1>me what she thought about it. It was just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like she was busy, you know, she had to

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<v Speaker 1>check her schedule. How long ago was this date? Last week?

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<v Speaker 1>Last week? So it's been a week since you heard

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<v Speaker 1>from her. How many times have we tried to call her? Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Just a couple. Yeah. And did she say that she

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<v Speaker 1>wants to go out again? She said, we'll see. Oh god,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what I will see. That's what parents say to

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<v Speaker 1>their kids when they're not going to get something. You said, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to go out again. She said, we'll see

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<v Speaker 1>about that. Yeah. Oh no. Because I was like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>was something wrong. She kind of reflects, She's like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing's wrong, and she just kind of sat. I gotta

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<v Speaker 1>check my schedule, you know, and then that was it.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you give her like a kiss or hug or

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<v Speaker 1>anything at the end of the date. Was there any

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<v Speaker 1>affection at all? No, she got into records to trouble away. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds like you just got shut down. All right, man,

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna play a song. Come back, call her and

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<v Speaker 1>get your second date update. Okay, okay, cool, thanks guys,

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<v Speaker 1>All right, man, hanging looking jubil in the morning seate.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's second date update seems pretty clear cut as to

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<v Speaker 1>why Chuck, who's on the phone with us right now,

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<v Speaker 1>is not getting a call back from Kim. Chuck went

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<v Speaker 1>out with a girl named Kim he met online. He

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<v Speaker 1>told her during the date that he has a six

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<v Speaker 1>year old son. After he told her that, she got

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<v Speaker 1>very cold and awkward and ended the date by saying, well,

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<v Speaker 1>see we'll go out again. I'm kind of busy, so anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>have a good one. Not even a high five. Just

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<v Speaker 1>hopped in the car and took off. So Chuck is

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<v Speaker 1>pretty sure that's the reason that she's not calling him back.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we call her and see if we can get

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<v Speaker 1>her on the phone, Chuck, I didn't really get a

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<v Speaker 1>clear answer from you, like what you hope to do here?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you hope to change her mind if she doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>like kids? I mean, yeah, you know, I'm hoping that

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<v Speaker 1>she can really appreciate the fact that I did like

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<v Speaker 1>her and I had a really great time on the date.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm kind of hoping that if if it was

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<v Speaker 1>a kid, which I'm not one hundred percent sure a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm hoping that maybe she can work through that with me,

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<v Speaker 1>if she's willing to work through it. All right, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to get a person to change on a

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<v Speaker 1>phone call, trying to get them to switch religion or right,

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<v Speaker 1>and do you have the child full time? Yeah? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not gonna It would be a lot easier

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<v Speaker 1>to sell if you didn't have it all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>It an what's your kid's name? Chuck, Henry, Henry's little Hank,

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship runer? All right, Henry, All right, we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>give her a call right now. See, we can get

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<v Speaker 1>her on the phone and hopefully get you a second date.

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<v Speaker 1>I just I just hope that she really appreciates that

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<v Speaker 1>I went through all this trouble, you know, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote a long email to you. Guys, we're doing

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<v Speaker 1>this on the radio. I hope that she understands like

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<v Speaker 1>I really do like her. All right, well we'll give

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<v Speaker 1>her a call here and see if that works. Okay, Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>Hi is Kim there? Yeah? This is Kim. Hey Kim,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? This is Jewil from Brook and Jewil

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<v Speaker 1>in the Morning, the radio show. Okay, I'm just calling

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<v Speaker 1>you because I want to talk to you about something.

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<v Speaker 1>If you have a moment, I'm sorry, I'm I have

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<v Speaker 1>no idea who you are. I know I can tell

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<v Speaker 1>host a radio show. We do a segment on that

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<v Speaker 1>show called second Date Update. You recently went out with

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<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners. He liked you so much that

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<v Speaker 1>he sent a very long email into the show about

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<v Speaker 1>your date and how much he wants to see you again. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>you apparently ended your date with him, not even saying

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<v Speaker 1>that you wanted to go out again, just by going, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll see maybe we can hang out. You know who

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<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about? Yeah, I think so. His name is Chuck. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Can we talk about Chuck for a minute. I'd really

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<v Speaker 1>rather not to be honest with you, really, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I you know, that's kind of my personal business. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't have to air anything else about yourself, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>we just want to know if Chuck did something wrong

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<v Speaker 1>on your date. He feels like the fact that he

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<v Speaker 1>has a kid turns you off? Is that what did it? Well? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>to be honest with you, yes, it is it because

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<v Speaker 1>he lied on his profile? Or is it because you

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<v Speaker 1>don't like children or don't want your own children? I

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<v Speaker 1>guess I should say it's that he has a kid.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the bottom line. So you just don't like kids, which, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, I support No, that's I mean I

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<v Speaker 1>like kids. Kids are great. I have a kid. Wait

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<v Speaker 1>do you have a kid? Yeah? What Wait? Does he

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<v Speaker 1>tell that you have a kid? Tell him, No, you

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<v Speaker 1>didn't tell him that you have a kid too, and

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<v Speaker 1>you withheld that information from your online dating profile. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>guessing yeah, which is one of the reasons why I

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<v Speaker 1>don't fault him for that. So you don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>see him again because he has a kid, Because you

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<v Speaker 1>have a kid. Yeah, I'm not interested in beginning a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with anybody who has kids. I don't want any

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<v Speaker 1>more children. I mean, I don't know if you guys

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<v Speaker 1>have kids. But it's incredibly difficult, and I have my

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<v Speaker 1>hands full and that's my prerogative. I didn't see that

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<v Speaker 1>coming at all, Kim. I just thought you were going

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<v Speaker 1>to be completely against kids. Yeah, I mean I like kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to have to raise anybody else's kids

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<v Speaker 1>or would be intimately involved in anyone else's children's lives.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, want like an instant family of four? Yeah? No,

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<v Speaker 1>none of that. Like pretty bunch situation I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to happen. But Kim, don't you think like dating someone

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<v Speaker 1>who also has a child, maybe you could relate more

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<v Speaker 1>to them. They would be more understanding of your trials

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<v Speaker 1>and tribulations through life. Well, yeah, I mean absolutely, which

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<v Speaker 1>is why I would be happy to be his friend.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's my perspective that I don't want a romantic

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with somebody like that. What about and we'll get

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<v Speaker 1>you off the phone here in a minute. I appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>you spending some time with us and talking to us

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<v Speaker 1>about this. Why though, wouldn't you just say to him then, like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a kid too, that's cool, and then you

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<v Speaker 1>can blow him off however you want. But why not

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<v Speaker 1>say anything about the fact that you have a kid.

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<v Speaker 1>The date went well. I mean I really did like him.

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<v Speaker 1>I got the feeling he liked me, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>pretty sure that if I told him I had a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>that would open the door to more negotiation about a

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<v Speaker 1>second date. And like the hard line with me, as

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<v Speaker 1>much as I liked him, I'm not interested. So absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>no chance of him going out with you again. No,

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<v Speaker 1>not unless he gets rid of the kid. Maybe then

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<v Speaker 1>my possibility. Kim, thank you for your time. I appreciate it. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I do also have to let you know that Chuck

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<v Speaker 1>is actually on the phone and hurt everything that you

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<v Speaker 1>just said. Really, yes, I have to say, I am

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<v Speaker 1>speechless right now. Are like, So what are you just

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<v Speaker 1>looking for a single? No? No kid guys? Yeah, exactly

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<v Speaker 1>like I. Like I said, I have enough to handle

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<v Speaker 1>on my own and that's just something I've decided for

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<v Speaker 1>me and my son. That's what I'm looking for. And

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<v Speaker 1>when you're a kid, they come first, and to me,

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<v Speaker 1>that is a priority for the two of us. Social

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<v Speaker 1>and something else. Kim, I had to have something in

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<v Speaker 1>my teeth or something. I don't really. I hope you

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<v Speaker 1>can understand where I'm coming from, Kim. Is there any

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<v Speaker 1>way we can get you to waiver on it just

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit and give Chuck a second date. Just

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<v Speaker 1>make an exception to your rule one time. No, have

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<v Speaker 1>you ever dated a guy with a kid and it

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<v Speaker 1>just didn't work out? No? But I mean I am

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<v Speaker 1>one of those people where I like my own kid,

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<v Speaker 1>but I don't really like to be around anyone else. Hey, Kim,

0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 1>if we take Kim and Chuck, if we take the

0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.040
<v Speaker 1>kids out of this whole thing, did you like Chuck

0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 1>other than that? Yeah, totally okay, So you had a

0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:32.120
<v Speaker 1>great time. You liked him a lot. The only reason

0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.040
<v Speaker 1>is that he has a kid and you have a kid,

0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:36.000
<v Speaker 1>and you don't want to get into a relationship with

0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.520
<v Speaker 1>someone with a kid. Right. It's just so weird. I

0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:40.480
<v Speaker 1>feel like this could happen. I don't know why. I

0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:42.959
<v Speaker 1>don't know why. It is so weird to me. No.

0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:45.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I feel like I'm like explaining myself over

0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.720
<v Speaker 1>and over here. But you know, I said that was

0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.440
<v Speaker 1>the only thing about that first date that was wrong,

0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.440
<v Speaker 1>and it's the big thing. And I don't bend on it,

0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:56.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, I try to stay as open as I can.

0:11:57.080 --> 0:11:59.679
<v Speaker 1>You know, it takes something comes along that's really great,

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 1>and I felt really great, And I think that's try

0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.320
<v Speaker 1>for you. That's just not how I do it. Okay, Kim,

0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.119
<v Speaker 1>Not to be the dead horse, but let's do it anyway.

0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.160
<v Speaker 1>Would you like to go out on a second date

0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 1>with Chuck? We will pay for it, not please, Kim? Yeah?

0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.080
<v Speaker 1>I thought maybe after asking you like six times in

0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:21.840
<v Speaker 1>a row, if there was any way we could get you,

0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:23.679
<v Speaker 1>you might cave then if I said I would pay

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.880
<v Speaker 1>for the date. But no, you won't go out with Chuck. No,

0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:29.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you what. We'll be friends and we'll go

0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.439
<v Speaker 1>and play dates. You. I'll keep on asking you on

0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:36.199
<v Speaker 1>you go out, you guys. Yeah, that's I was gonna say.

0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.199
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be awkward when you guys are friends. Now

0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:39.959
<v Speaker 1>in every five seconds he's asking you to go out.

0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:44.920
<v Speaker 1>But I guess I'll let you guys talk it out, Okay, Kim,

0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.000
<v Speaker 1>Now that you know Chuck really wants to talk to you,

0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:48.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe at least you guys can talk on the phone

0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.880
<v Speaker 1>and see if you want to hang out as friends

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.079
<v Speaker 1>and take your kids to the kid park whatever you

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.000
<v Speaker 1>let them off from run around while you guys talk, right,

0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 1>all right? One of those things you know you guys

0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.640
<v Speaker 1>can figure it all out all right. Broken Jupil in

0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 1>the morning