Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, Oh Ship, And just like that,
Speaker 1: we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another
Speaker 1: carefully Reckless with your girl doctor Jess a k A
Speaker 1: Jess hilarious. All right, we're gonna jump right in. I
Speaker 1: am fixing mess, and we don't have any voice notes
Speaker 1: this time, so I'm gonna be reading here we go. Hey, jus, First,
Speaker 1: I love you, but let's get straight to it. Well,
Speaker 1: I was on and off talking to this guy since
Speaker 1: since we both had just got out of year's worth
Speaker 1: of relationships that same year, we didn't want to hop
Speaker 1: into another relationship together, so we kept it simple. Tom
Speaker 1: goes By, we called ourselves having a flame for a year.
Speaker 1: So I called it off and explained I wanted a
Speaker 1: man and build with someone he understood. Girls, See, this
Speaker 1: is why I told all to I'm I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: back a little bit, but this is why I told
Speaker 1: you all to send in y'all goddamn voice notes because
Speaker 1: this is a long run on fucking sentence, girl ship,
Speaker 1: but it's the juicy story, so I'm gonna try to
Speaker 1: fight through it, y'all. Y'all bad with me. Time goes by,
Speaker 1: we caught ourselves having a fling for a year, so
Speaker 1: I called it off and explained that I wanted a man,
Speaker 1: and is this another man, and to build with someone.
Speaker 1: He understood, but he wasn't ready, so we stopped talking. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you wanted to build with him, Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: because you wanted to take it further than the fling,
Speaker 1: but he wasn't ready, So y'all stopped talking. Okay, because
Speaker 1: you confused me because you said you cut it off, girl,
Speaker 1: all right? Most of last year he kept reaching out,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't ready. So finally he approached me right
Speaker 1: this past January and we've been at it since. He
Speaker 1: has been the only man I've seen this entire year.
Speaker 1: I have no view for anyone else but him. But
Speaker 1: recently he just out the blue became distant with me.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I mean we went from at the house
Speaker 1: every day to him coming every other week. Then I
Speaker 1: moved and I started going by his house like once
Speaker 1: a week. We went from talking on the phone frequently
Speaker 1: to barely talking just distance. One time I went to
Speaker 1: his house and he was just super distant with me,
Speaker 1: So I asked him what's wrong, but he refused to
Speaker 1: tell me. So I rolled over, but he processed to
Speaker 1: stay around eleven PM. Mind you, I got there around nine,
Speaker 1: and I never not spent a night if I came
Speaker 1: at night. Okay, okay, so what you say, because girl,
Speaker 1: you're sucking me up right here? All right? So the
Speaker 1: nigga told you had to leave at eleven, and you
Speaker 1: had just got there at nine, But you never not
Speaker 1: stay to night when you came at night. You always
Speaker 1: was coming to stay the night. When you get there
Speaker 1: at night, Okay, after a certain time, it's just always
Speaker 1: a given. I'm going I'm gonna get up and go
Speaker 1: in the morning, all right. But this night he didn't
Speaker 1: want you to stay. He said, I have to leave
Speaker 1: out at five am because his kids are coming over,
Speaker 1: the same kids I already met multiple times previously. So
Speaker 1: I got up and left out. Of course, I expressed
Speaker 1: myself afterwards, but that hurt my feelings. Okay, we moved
Speaker 1: past that. Now weeks go by and he's still distant.
Speaker 1: He's still not letting me know what's wrong. I'm constantly
Speaker 1: trying to get him to open up, and he didn't.
Speaker 1: At this point, I'm feeling unwanted and the only one
Speaker 1: in the relationship. So a guy I used to text
Speaker 1: prior to him started hitting me up and we started texting,
Speaker 1: just text more so a comfort zone. Now he knew
Speaker 1: about my man and I let him know I'm not
Speaker 1: cutting him off for him, but we will still flirt,
Speaker 1: which was so wrong of me, I know. So another
Speaker 1: week goes by and my man tells me he wants
Speaker 1: us to give each other a break. What So I'm
Speaker 1: hurt because why are we on a break? What did
Speaker 1: I do? What's the reason? So I just started to
Speaker 1: talk to the other guy more Still didn't meet up
Speaker 1: with a guy, just talk. So this past weekend I
Speaker 1: went over because we missed each other, and I go
Speaker 1: to sleep and he go through my damn phone. This
Speaker 1: man goes through my phone and he saw the messages
Speaker 1: and now he has done with me, and I am
Speaker 1: super crushed. He blocked me on everything, and now I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. I just know I want
Speaker 1: my man back, and I'm hurting so bad right now.
Speaker 1: Oh baby, girl, Okay, there are a couple of things. Girl.
Speaker 1: Next time, you better send me some goddamned voice notes.
Speaker 1: I don't give a funk of a nigga. Know your
Speaker 1: voice or not, Girl, you better fucking talk in a
Speaker 1: different fu accent, because girl, that was hard and should
Speaker 1: I know it's because you heard I know. Let me
Speaker 1: calm down and help you, alright, child, Okay, So it's
Speaker 1: a couple of different things. We still didn't get to
Speaker 1: the bottom of why he became so distant. I don't
Speaker 1: know if he's ever showed you narcissist vibes. I don't
Speaker 1: know if he's ever given you manipulative vibes. I'm not sure,
Speaker 1: but this sounds a lot like manipulation. This it sounds
Speaker 1: to me as if he was looking for a way
Speaker 1: out and he finally got one. Because if he was
Speaker 1: distancing himself all this time, and even down to the
Speaker 1: point where he told you he needed a break, there
Speaker 1: has to be a fucking reason. I'm not gonna jump
Speaker 1: and say there was someone else. I'm not gonna jump
Speaker 1: and say that you were just doing all the wrong
Speaker 1: things or you were doing something wrong, because I don't know.
Speaker 1: Only he knows that, but it's something that he's not
Speaker 1: telling you. And there is a reason why he wanted
Speaker 1: out so bad. There is a reason y'all been on
Speaker 1: and off for almost four years, and for it to
Speaker 1: be out of nowhere, I'm sorry. I just feel like
Speaker 1: there's been something he's been hiding from you, or there
Speaker 1: has been another woman. And like I said, like I
Speaker 1: just said seconds ago, I usually don't ever just make
Speaker 1: that my first go to, you know, because everybody does
Speaker 1: not cheat. I know that there's been this strange narrative
Speaker 1: that all men cheat or all women cheat. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. I still don't believe that we can't put
Speaker 1: everybody in a boat together. No, but that's what it
Speaker 1: sounds like. And like I said, it sounds like he
Speaker 1: was looking for a way out. I know it hurts you.
Speaker 1: I know it's hurting you, But baby girl, you need
Speaker 1: to put your big girl panties on. You need to
Speaker 1: turn that thinking cap on and really really see him
Speaker 1: for what he is, and see him for what he's
Speaker 1: trying to do, and let him know that you know
Speaker 1: what he's trying to do, even if you don't know,
Speaker 1: even if you're letting your love for him subside your
Speaker 1: real feelings. Your real feeling is you don't know what
Speaker 1: the funk is happening. You didn't know and that's why
Speaker 1: you started talking to your friend. Okay, it was innocent,
Speaker 1: it was still wrong because just because something is not
Speaker 1: going right in your relationship does not mean you turn
Speaker 1: elsewhere for comfort. Now we all do it. It's very
Speaker 1: natural to do so, however, that doesn't make it right,
Speaker 1: and it's not right. But he is not telling you something.
Speaker 1: He didn't tell you something, And if you want to
Speaker 1: seek that, I would, But my honest advice is to
Speaker 1: keep it the funck moving and let him know that
Speaker 1: it's his loss. However, you can still contact him. He
Speaker 1: blocks you on everything. That man is with somebody else
Speaker 1: right now. I'm so sorry. After a break, I see
Speaker 1: you after we've been on this break for a while,
Speaker 1: and the first thing you do is go through my phone.
Speaker 1: You're not even trying to miss on me, love on me.
Speaker 1: You guys didn't have a conversation about getting back together
Speaker 1: or whatever. You just went over there to spend the night.
Speaker 1: Are you serious even going back to the one night
Speaker 1: that you spent the night there and you got there
Speaker 1: around nine and he told you you had to leave
Speaker 1: at eleven because his kids, who you already knew and
Speaker 1: been around frequently. We're coming at five am child. Please.
Speaker 1: If he ain't dealing with the mother, he's dealing with
Speaker 1: somebody else. And that's just what it is. And I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: The truth will fucking hurt you, especially when you don't
Speaker 1: want to see it. If somebody is dumb enough to
Speaker 1: walk away from you, and you're a good woman, be
Speaker 1: smart enough to let them go. I'm serious. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're a Christian, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: believe in any higher being. I believe in God, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you know this. No offense to you
Speaker 1: if you do not, but I'm gonna let you know.
Speaker 1: God will remove something out of your life for you.
Speaker 1: Be that as it may. He may do it any
Speaker 1: way he sees fit for it to happen. Sometimes we're
Speaker 1: blind to certain things that's not good for us. We
Speaker 1: will stay in a relationship, we will stay miserable, will
Speaker 1: be with someone and just stay stagnant at the expense
Speaker 1: of our own hearts, at the expense of our own happiness,
Speaker 1: our own sanity, our own mental health. Will trade that
Speaker 1: for fucking love, or for what we think is love.
Speaker 1: Will trade that. Love is not supposed to feel like
Speaker 1: this now. Love is not easy, but love is not
Speaker 1: supposed to feel one sided. It's not supposed to feel manipulative.
Speaker 1: It's not supposed to feel so low and heartaching. It's
Speaker 1: not it's not like I said, it's not easy, but
Speaker 1: it's not impossible for it to feel good Right now,
Speaker 1: it's impossible for you feel good. The only way that
Speaker 1: you'll feel good, you feel, is if he'll come back
Speaker 1: to you. I wouldn't even want him back, you understand,
Speaker 1: because what he did was he flipp did. There was
Speaker 1: an issue from the beginning that you never got to
Speaker 1: the bottom of. And yet he was looking and fishing
Speaker 1: and fishing until he found something which gave him the
Speaker 1: reason to be done. All right. I just need a
Speaker 1: way out, and you gave it to him. I will
Speaker 1: also applaud your honesty with the other guy. You let
Speaker 1: him know what it was. We're not gonna have sex,
Speaker 1: We're not gonna I just I'm looking for some attention
Speaker 1: right now because me and my man are going through
Speaker 1: it and I'm not getting that at home. He's lacking attention,
Speaker 1: he's lacking interest in me. I feel, you know, he's
Speaker 1: falling back. He's being distant with me. You know, I
Speaker 1: do applaud you for being very honest. However, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna give you no cookie for cheating, because that's still cheating.
Speaker 1: But who knows what the funk your man was doing?
Speaker 1: Your ex. I'm going to speak that into existence forever,
Speaker 1: your ex, all right, I'm so sorry. I know how
Speaker 1: a heartbreak feels. I know how it feels to want
Speaker 1: somebody who don't want you. I know, listen to that again.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it again, and I know how it
Speaker 1: feels to want somebody back so bad that doesn't want you.
Speaker 1: He Ben didn't want you. He just didn't know how
Speaker 1: to leave you. He didn't have a reason to, and
Speaker 1: he didn't want to break your heart. So some people
Speaker 1: just feel like if we fall back, they'll get the picture. No,
Speaker 1: you need to communicate that because this girl is here
Speaker 1: in love with you still. You're still in love with him,
Speaker 1: but only time helps you with that. I'm telling you
Speaker 1: you can do better, and you better do better. Check
Speaker 1: back in with me, baby girl. I'm so sorry, but
Speaker 1: that ain't where you need to because you are better
Speaker 1: than that and you deserve better. For sure. If you
Speaker 1: love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll
Speaker 1: be right back moving on. Hey Jess, First off, I
Speaker 1: wanted to let you know you're my favorite comedian and
Speaker 1: the funniest person on the internet right now. I've been
Speaker 1: following your journey since before your pages kept getting deleted
Speaker 1: years ago. Oh and I go to one of your
Speaker 1: shows when you come to my area. Okay, So I'm
Speaker 1: a mom thirty years old. I have three kids, and
Speaker 1: my kid's father is thirty years old as well. We
Speaker 1: just recently separated. We lived together for years and seem
Speaker 1: to have a picture perfect family. They live with me now,
Speaker 1: but Dad is active in their lives and lives on
Speaker 1: his own. We both work full time jobs and have
Speaker 1: busy schedules. However, he always seems to have time to
Speaker 1: make spontaneous, impulsive decisions to go on vacations, overnight trips
Speaker 1: with friends and leave me with the kids alone for
Speaker 1: days at a time. I never have a lone time
Speaker 1: or time for myself where I can go out with friends,
Speaker 1: vacations or just relax kids free for a minute. He
Speaker 1: has so much freedom, and in a way, I resent
Speaker 1: him so much for that. Whenever I bring it up,
Speaker 1: he turned it back on me and tell me I
Speaker 1: complain too much or make excuses like I can have
Speaker 1: a life too low key. I think he's going through
Speaker 1: a pre midlife crisis. I've always been a subtle and
Speaker 1: meek girl, and when I use my voice to speak
Speaker 1: up for myself, I'm always told I'm the problem, or
Speaker 1: basically there's nothing I can do or say to make
Speaker 1: him change his ways. I feel like I'm being taken
Speaker 1: advantage of for my kindness and the fact that I'm
Speaker 1: so accommodating. But at the same time, I'm accommodating because
Speaker 1: the kids live with me, and as a mother, I
Speaker 1: will never let them think they're an option to me
Speaker 1: like he does. He loves his children, but he's very
Speaker 1: immature and still wants to live that college boy bachelor life.
Speaker 1: My question for you is what can I do differently
Speaker 1: to get my point across or at least get him
Speaker 1: to see what he's doing isn't fair. Thank you, Jess.
Speaker 1: I love you, girl. Hey, baby, I love you as well.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you first and foremost, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for being a fan and a supporter over
Speaker 1: the years. Girl. Back when my pages was getting deleted,
Speaker 1: I was mad as hell and I started to give up.
Speaker 1: Hell of times, Girl, they would delete my ship every
Speaker 1: other fucking week, I swear, until I had to make
Speaker 1: another one and start from scratch. Girl. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that took me back. But I appreciate you for being
Speaker 1: a d one because that's what you proved to me
Speaker 1: with that. All right, all right, now for your mess.
Speaker 1: All right, So you guys are both thirty. You guys
Speaker 1: have three children. Okay, so I don't know how long
Speaker 1: you guys have been together, but it seems like you
Speaker 1: guys have been together for a while. No, look, you're
Speaker 1: not that old. Correct me if I'm wrong with an
Speaker 1: update when you come back and update me on these
Speaker 1: questions that I'm asking, or even you know, the advice
Speaker 1: that I give you, hopefully you take it. So if
Speaker 1: I'm not mistaken, I'm going to assume that you guys
Speaker 1: have been together since what high school? If not since teenagers,
Speaker 1: I would say, or college or something like that. I
Speaker 1: would say that. The reason why I would say that
Speaker 1: is because you're only thirty. I don't know how old
Speaker 1: your children are, but that's three kids, so there has
Speaker 1: to be a couple of years in between them, unless
Speaker 1: you got stair step kids. However, what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get at is if you guys started at such a
Speaker 1: young age. No, he didn't get to live out his
Speaker 1: bachelor years. Neither did you. But like I just told
Speaker 1: someone else who mess I was fixing, we mature faster
Speaker 1: than them. We know what we want faster than them,
Speaker 1: We know what we need to do faster than them.
Speaker 1: We become very responsible, quicker, very mature, quicker. You said
Speaker 1: he's immature and he still wants to live the you know,
Speaker 1: the bachelor days. Did he ever get to live them
Speaker 1: out before you? You know, not justifying the way he's
Speaker 1: going about it, but he does. He's correct. He has
Speaker 1: a life too. You have one as well? Or are
Speaker 1: there any other family members that can help you? Do
Speaker 1: you guys have any other support systems? You know, your
Speaker 1: parents or your aunt's, your uncle's, your cousins, little cousins,
Speaker 1: or you know where you can go and let your
Speaker 1: hair down for a weekend or you know, these kind
Speaker 1: of things will be good with schedules. If you guys
Speaker 1: aren't together, like you said, there needs to be a
Speaker 1: co parenting schedule. It may seem like he's always vacationing
Speaker 1: and he's always doing this, doing that, because you don't
Speaker 1: ever get to do those things ever. Like you said,
Speaker 1: you both work full time jobs, so it's because you
Speaker 1: never get to do it, and probably when you get
Speaker 1: to do it, you don't do it because you'd be
Speaker 1: so tired from working and then being a full time
Speaker 1: mommy as well. You just have to look at what
Speaker 1: healthy co parenting looks like. Me and my son's father,
Speaker 1: we we've been doing it for eight years now, and
Speaker 1: that wasn't easy as well, but we've come to a place.
Speaker 1: Are there still feelings there on either end? Do you
Speaker 1: feel that a little of that resentment comes from you
Speaker 1: guys failed relationship and I'm sorry if it didn't fail,
Speaker 1: and you guys just grew apart. Let me know that
Speaker 1: as well. But where where else is that resentment coming from?
Speaker 1: Is he's still trying to get with you? Do you
Speaker 1: still try to get with him? Do you still miss him?
Speaker 1: Do you still want him back? Do you think he
Speaker 1: still wants you back and that's why he takes all
Speaker 1: these trips and all that you know to make you jealous?
Speaker 1: Or two? It? Could it be deeply rooted? Could it
Speaker 1: be another take on it? You need to think about
Speaker 1: all that you know and that from wrong. That's fine,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get more clarity on it before
Speaker 1: I can really fully assess you the way that you
Speaker 1: know you need. But I think scheduling would be the
Speaker 1: best way. Communication and scheduling, scheduling, scheduling. There's four weeks
Speaker 1: in a month. Most of the time you get the
Speaker 1: first and third weekend. I'll take the second and fourth
Speaker 1: weekend and I'll go do something with my girls and
Speaker 1: all that. You know, And I do understand he is
Speaker 1: very immature, yes, but he loves his children. And while
Speaker 1: you feel that he treats them as an option, um,
Speaker 1: I just think that you're more devoted because you're the
Speaker 1: primary parents. They live with you, so of course you
Speaker 1: have the bulk of the responsibility at all times. And
Speaker 1: it's not just one, it's three of them. So I
Speaker 1: can see how you're very, very stressed and just how
Speaker 1: it's never enough time in a day and then you
Speaker 1: have no me time and no time to let your
Speaker 1: hair down. I think you need to commit to a schedule,
Speaker 1: and no, you can't make him do something. But I
Speaker 1: think I don't even know him, but I do think
Speaker 1: the fact that he loves his children, he'd be open
Speaker 1: to that. He would be open to it. Also, it
Speaker 1: may depend on how you guys ended. How did it?
Speaker 1: Was it a nasty breakup? Like you know? How? How how?
Speaker 1: So just help me with more clarity, get back to me,
Speaker 1: update me if you want, or if you can, but
Speaker 1: just just let me know, let me know. I do
Speaker 1: appreciate you reaching out, baby girl, But that's a scheduling issue.
Speaker 1: That's all. That's it, that's all. Check back in now.
Speaker 1: We got a commercial, and if you click off of
Speaker 1: this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen,
Speaker 1: and this is the last one and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: on out of here, y'all. This one is a voice note. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: Just first of all, I just want to say I
Speaker 1: absolutely love your show, and I figured my problem might
Speaker 1: be a little bit more interesting because you tend to
Speaker 1: talk about relationship problems and things like that on here,
Speaker 1: but mine's a little bit different. It actually has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with relationships. I'm in college right now, and
Speaker 1: I am in my first major production. Most of my
Speaker 1: time here, I've been doing like little student productions that
Speaker 1: are a little bit rough around the edges because they
Speaker 1: don't have a budget and it's really hard to get
Speaker 1: into a main stage show where I go to school.
Speaker 1: So I finally got into a mainstage show. I do
Speaker 1: struggle with mental health, and I'm working, and I'm a senior,
Speaker 1: and I'm doing a research project and I'm in the
Speaker 1: honors college. So there's just a lot on my plate
Speaker 1: right now. But I was really happy because this show
Speaker 1: has well. I wanted it to be an outlet for me.
Speaker 1: I've been acting and singing ever since I was little,
Speaker 1: so this is like my passion. So one day, the
Speaker 1: director emailed me and she said that multiple people had
Speaker 1: come up to her and told her that I was
Speaker 1: talking about her, and which is ridiculous because first of all,
Speaker 1: that's not true, and I just kind of broke down
Speaker 1: in front of her and I had a panic attack
Speaker 1: because I am so dedicated to this project. I come
Speaker 1: in every day. I don't complain. Well, there's other people
Speaker 1: in the show who literally actively complained during rehearsal to
Speaker 1: where she can hear them. And they talked during rehearsal
Speaker 1: and they goof off and stuff like that, and it
Speaker 1: just makes me feel like you decided to single me out,
Speaker 1: you know, And there's already issues with racism and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. In my school, so I'm trying not to
Speaker 1: just make it that kind of issue, but I can't
Speaker 1: help but feel that way. And now I come to
Speaker 1: rehearsal and I feel like just an outsider and like
Speaker 1: I can't trust people because a lot of people in
Speaker 1: that show are very messy, and I just don't know
Speaker 1: who to trust. Whenever I talk, people ignore me and
Speaker 1: they'll just literally look me in the face and not
Speaker 1: say anything. There was a bit of choreography that was
Speaker 1: similar to a YouTube video of the show, and the
Speaker 1: choreographer asked the girl to pick out who she wanted
Speaker 1: to dance with, and I said, well, I was in
Speaker 1: the YouTube video, you should pick me, and she was like,
Speaker 1: we're not doing the YouTube video. And I don't know.
Speaker 1: This whole process has just made me kind of depressed,
Speaker 1: and I'm not wanting to come to rehearsal anymore. I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't belong and I've talked my family
Speaker 1: about it, and I know, truly inside, I have to
Speaker 1: do it for me and I just have to suck
Speaker 1: it up. But it's hard, you know, to come in
Speaker 1: every day and feel like I'm not wanted. It just
Speaker 1: makes me very sad, and I guess I just needed
Speaker 1: your very good advice on this, baby girl. Absolutely, I'm
Speaker 1: very sorry. First of all, I want to send you
Speaker 1: peace and love, and I want to send you a
Speaker 1: fucking hug because that that ship just makes me want
Speaker 1: to hold you and bury your head and my little bosoms,
Speaker 1: you know, on my little chest. You know, you know,
Speaker 1: I got some nice little seacups. But you know, no, seriously,
Speaker 1: I really am sorry. And I also want to say
Speaker 1: I'm fucking proud of you. You have so much on
Speaker 1: your plate. You're very articulate. You you sound, oh girl,
Speaker 1: you sound so proper. I love that. I love that
Speaker 1: you are well articulate. You carry yourself very very educated
Speaker 1: and classy. You seem very educated, and you are very educated.
Speaker 1: Listen to everything that you went down, everything that you
Speaker 1: have on your plate, it's all academic. It's all educational.
Speaker 1: I fucking love it all right. I think I heard
Speaker 1: a little kitty in the back, You got a little
Speaker 1: cat in the back, and I'd be no, no, baby,
Speaker 1: I I was gonna say, I can you be a mom?
Speaker 1: And you got all this ship going on Jesus, So
Speaker 1: I think I'm I'm gonna go in and say that
Speaker 1: was a cat. Hopefully I made you laugh, because at
Speaker 1: that's a lot dealing with racism and not being able
Speaker 1: to shake it because you are in school, so it's
Speaker 1: not like you can just drop out or you can
Speaker 1: just not come again, and you want to get through this.
Speaker 1: Now I understand that the whole YouTube thing can be
Speaker 1: off putting in academics because it's become such a trendy thing.
Speaker 1: Now it's become such a social like YouTube is another
Speaker 1: social platform, if you will. At first, it wasn't like that.
Speaker 1: You know, it was used like Google. It was used
Speaker 1: like it was used like a Google at first. Now
Speaker 1: it's literally another social platform. So I do understand how
Speaker 1: it can be off putting to certain professors and you know,
Speaker 1: deans and teachers or what have you. However, if that's
Speaker 1: something that you do and that you take pride, and
Speaker 1: they should not shun you for it. The way I
Speaker 1: deal with racial issues is I do remove myself at times.
Speaker 1: I've been through so many racial issues and I faced
Speaker 1: racism and prejudice before, I have not always been able
Speaker 1: to remove myself. I went to an all white high school,
Speaker 1: predominantly white, and I endured racism there. I couldn't drop out,
Speaker 1: so that caused me to build tough skin. Nobody has
Speaker 1: ever called me a nigger to my face, shall I say?
Speaker 1: Or I never even heard it uttered from two white
Speaker 1: pink tight as, but hole lips. I've never heard it,
Speaker 1: but not to say that. I've never been called that,
Speaker 1: but not to my face. I've never been um directly
Speaker 1: ridiculed with racial slurs in person. I did hear things
Speaker 1: were said about me before by another party or you know,
Speaker 1: whatever like that, but never direct I think this is
Speaker 1: something that you can get through. I know it's hard
Speaker 1: to go home every day and to have to deal
Speaker 1: with that, but if you are not willing to transfer schools,
Speaker 1: then you have to create such a thickness under that
Speaker 1: melon in honey, under that skin. You have to create
Speaker 1: that armor to where anything that they say, anything that
Speaker 1: they do, you become resil and that ship needs to
Speaker 1: bounce off of you. Why because they want you to
Speaker 1: get so fed up where you leave. They want you
Speaker 1: to get so fed up where you break down and cry.
Speaker 1: They want you to be defeated. They want you, but
Speaker 1: they cannot defeat us. They can't. That's why they hate
Speaker 1: us so bad at times that's why a lot of them,
Speaker 1: not all of them, a lot of them hate us
Speaker 1: so bad because we're resilient. We're strong. We don't crack
Speaker 1: under pressure, bitch, we don't even crack and our skin okay,
Speaker 1: we don't crack with age, we don't. We're resilient people.
Speaker 1: Even the way that you speak, I give you the
Speaker 1: utmost respect. You're a strong black woman that reads intimidation.
Speaker 1: So you have to be able to pull yourself up
Speaker 1: and say, no, I'm not gonna take this ship. I'm
Speaker 1: not about to keep running whatever. When she said, oh no,
Speaker 1: we're not doing the YouTube thing, okay, cool. If that
Speaker 1: ain't your cup of tee, if you don't know how
Speaker 1: to operate it, that's fine. That's why I mean. If
Speaker 1: if you don't know anything about it, just say that.
Speaker 1: But because you can do whatever they challenge you to,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever they think you can't. You understand,
Speaker 1: don't ever break down in front of them. But you
Speaker 1: go find a bathroom. I don't mean to call you
Speaker 1: a bitch. I'm so sorry, girl. You sound so nice
Speaker 1: and precious. Baby, you go find a fucking bathroom if
Speaker 1: it needs to come out of tears are about to
Speaker 1: start streaming or whatever, or go find a bathroom. I'll
Speaker 1: be damned if I let you do that in front
Speaker 1: of him. Ever. Again, they don't deserve your tears, they
Speaker 1: don't deserve your soft heart. They don't. But you kill
Speaker 1: him with kindness until you're done with this major. That's
Speaker 1: what you do. And see how many of them come
Speaker 1: with you? See how many of them? Because God don't
Speaker 1: like ugly. I don't know if you believe in him. Again,
Speaker 1: no disrespect if you do not. But God don't like ugly.
Speaker 1: He created us for a reason, and that is the
Speaker 1: fucking shine. And you sound like you are the light
Speaker 1: everywhere you go. So keep shining even when people try
Speaker 1: to dim you. Notice I said try, because you can
Speaker 1: try all you want. You understand, you have a heart
Speaker 1: of gold and you're beautiful. I'm looking at your picture.
Speaker 1: You are beautiful. Listen, stay resilient, endurance, that's what we got.
Speaker 1: You got me. Check back in and let me know
Speaker 1: if I need to get on the plane and come
Speaker 1: beat some white ass. I ain't. I ain't playing with
Speaker 1: it now. Let me know. I love you very very much.
Speaker 1: And just like that, we've come to the end of
Speaker 1: another Carefully Reckless with your girl Jess hilarious a K
Speaker 1: eight Dr Jess. I've been helping y'all out left and right.
Speaker 1: Who gonna help me? I love y'all so much. Make
Speaker 1: sure you're tuned into Reckless discussions. Tonight we got London back.
Speaker 1: Y'all tune and last week was a funny episode A
Speaker 1: drunk never have I ever, but we're gonna keep him
Speaker 1: coming for y'all. Tune into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday,
Speaker 1: seven am. On your way to work, on your way
Speaker 1: to the gym, wherever you are, on your way to
Speaker 1: take your babies to school, or landing in the bed.
Speaker 1: If you want to listen, make sure you tune in,
Speaker 1: and then my deepest pan boys peace lay. Carefully Reckless
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I
Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.