1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, Oh Ship, And just like that, 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: carefully Reckless with your girl doctor Jess a k A 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: Jess hilarious. All right, we're gonna jump right in. I 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: am fixing mess, and we don't have any voice notes 7 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: this time, so I'm gonna be reading here we go. Hey, jus, First, 8 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: I love you, but let's get straight to it. Well, 9 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: I was on and off talking to this guy since 10 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: since we both had just got out of year's worth 11 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: of relationships that same year, we didn't want to hop 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: into another relationship together, so we kept it simple. Tom 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 1: goes By, we called ourselves having a flame for a year. 14 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 1: So I called it off and explained I wanted a 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: man and build with someone he understood. Girls, See, this 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: is why I told all to I'm I'm gonna go 17 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: back a little bit, but this is why I told 18 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: you all to send in y'all goddamn voice notes because 19 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: this is a long run on fucking sentence, girl ship, 20 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: but it's the juicy story, so I'm gonna try to 21 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: fight through it, y'all. Y'all bad with me. Time goes by, 22 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: we caught ourselves having a fling for a year, so 23 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: I called it off and explained that I wanted a man, 24 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: and is this another man, and to build with someone. 25 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: He understood, but he wasn't ready, so we stopped talking. Okay, 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: So you wanted to build with him, Okay, okay, okay, 27 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: because you wanted to take it further than the fling, 28 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: but he wasn't ready, So y'all stopped talking. Okay, because 29 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 1: you confused me because you said you cut it off, girl, 30 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: all right? Most of last year he kept reaching out, 31 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: but I wasn't ready. So finally he approached me right 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: this past January and we've been at it since. He 33 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: has been the only man I've seen this entire year. 34 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: I have no view for anyone else but him. But 35 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: recently he just out the blue became distant with me. 36 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I mean we went from at the house 37 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: every day to him coming every other week. Then I 38 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: moved and I started going by his house like once 39 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: a week. We went from talking on the phone frequently 40 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: to barely talking just distance. One time I went to 41 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: his house and he was just super distant with me, 42 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: So I asked him what's wrong, but he refused to 43 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: tell me. So I rolled over, but he processed to 44 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: stay around eleven PM. Mind you, I got there around nine, 45 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: and I never not spent a night if I came 46 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 1: at night. Okay, okay, so what you say, because girl, 47 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,239 Speaker 1: you're sucking me up right here? All right? So the 48 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: nigga told you had to leave at eleven, and you 49 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: had just got there at nine, But you never not 50 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: stay to night when you came at night. You always 51 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: was coming to stay the night. When you get there 52 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: at night, Okay, after a certain time, it's just always 53 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: a given. I'm going I'm gonna get up and go 54 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: in the morning, all right. But this night he didn't 55 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 1: want you to stay. He said, I have to leave 56 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: out at five am because his kids are coming over, 57 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: the same kids I already met multiple times previously. So 58 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: I got up and left out. Of course, I expressed 59 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: myself afterwards, but that hurt my feelings. Okay, we moved 60 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: past that. Now weeks go by and he's still distant. 61 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: He's still not letting me know what's wrong. I'm constantly 62 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 1: trying to get him to open up, and he didn't. 63 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: At this point, I'm feeling unwanted and the only one 64 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 1: in the relationship. So a guy I used to text 65 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,519 Speaker 1: prior to him started hitting me up and we started texting, 66 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:29,239 Speaker 1: just text more so a comfort zone. Now he knew 67 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: about my man and I let him know I'm not 68 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: cutting him off for him, but we will still flirt, 69 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: which was so wrong of me, I know. So another 70 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: week goes by and my man tells me he wants 71 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: us to give each other a break. What So I'm 72 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: hurt because why are we on a break? What did 73 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: I do? What's the reason? So I just started to 74 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: talk to the other guy more Still didn't meet up 75 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: with a guy, just talk. So this past weekend I 76 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: went over because we missed each other, and I go 77 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: to sleep and he go through my damn phone. This 78 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: man goes through my phone and he saw the messages 79 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: and now he has done with me, and I am 80 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: super crushed. He blocked me on everything, and now I 81 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: don't know what to do. I just know I want 82 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: my man back, and I'm hurting so bad right now. 83 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: Oh baby, girl, Okay, there are a couple of things. Girl. 84 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: Next time, you better send me some goddamned voice notes. 85 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: I don't give a funk of a nigga. Know your 86 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: voice or not, Girl, you better fucking talk in a 87 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,679 Speaker 1: different fu accent, because girl, that was hard and should 88 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: I know it's because you heard I know. Let me 89 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: calm down and help you, alright, child, Okay, So it's 90 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: a couple of different things. We still didn't get to 91 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,600 Speaker 1: the bottom of why he became so distant. I don't 92 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: know if he's ever showed you narcissist vibes. I don't 93 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: know if he's ever given you manipulative vibes. I'm not sure, 94 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: but this sounds a lot like manipulation. This it sounds 95 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: to me as if he was looking for a way 96 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: out and he finally got one. Because if he was 97 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: distancing himself all this time, and even down to the 98 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: point where he told you he needed a break, there 99 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 1: has to be a fucking reason. I'm not gonna jump 100 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: and say there was someone else. I'm not gonna jump 101 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: and say that you were just doing all the wrong 102 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: things or you were doing something wrong, because I don't know. 103 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: Only he knows that, but it's something that he's not 104 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: telling you. And there is a reason why he wanted 105 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: out so bad. There is a reason y'all been on 106 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: and off for almost four years, and for it to 107 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: be out of nowhere, I'm sorry. I just feel like 108 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: there's been something he's been hiding from you, or there 109 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: has been another woman. And like I said, like I 110 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: just said seconds ago, I usually don't ever just make 111 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: that my first go to, you know, because everybody does 112 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: not cheat. I know that there's been this strange narrative 113 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: that all men cheat or all women cheat. No, no, no, no, 114 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 1: no no. I still don't believe that we can't put 115 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: everybody in a boat together. No, but that's what it 116 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: sounds like. And like I said, it sounds like he 117 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: was looking for a way out. I know it hurts you. 118 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: I know it's hurting you, But baby girl, you need 119 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: to put your big girl panties on. You need to 120 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: turn that thinking cap on and really really see him 121 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 1: for what he is, and see him for what he's 122 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: trying to do, and let him know that you know 123 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: what he's trying to do, even if you don't know, 124 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: even if you're letting your love for him subside your 125 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: real feelings. Your real feeling is you don't know what 126 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: the funk is happening. You didn't know and that's why 127 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 1: you started talking to your friend. Okay, it was innocent, 128 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: it was still wrong because just because something is not 129 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,919 Speaker 1: going right in your relationship does not mean you turn 130 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: elsewhere for comfort. Now we all do it. It's very 131 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: natural to do so, however, that doesn't make it right, 132 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: and it's not right. But he is not telling you something. 133 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: He didn't tell you something, And if you want to 134 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: seek that, I would, But my honest advice is to 135 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: keep it the funck moving and let him know that 136 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: it's his loss. However, you can still contact him. He 137 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: blocks you on everything. That man is with somebody else 138 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: right now. I'm so sorry. After a break, I see 139 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: you after we've been on this break for a while, 140 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: and the first thing you do is go through my phone. 141 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: You're not even trying to miss on me, love on me. 142 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: You guys didn't have a conversation about getting back together 143 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: or whatever. You just went over there to spend the night. 144 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: Are you serious even going back to the one night 145 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: that you spent the night there and you got there 146 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: around nine and he told you you had to leave 147 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: at eleven because his kids, who you already knew and 148 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: been around frequently. We're coming at five am child. Please. 149 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: If he ain't dealing with the mother, he's dealing with 150 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: somebody else. And that's just what it is. And I'm sorry. 151 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: The truth will fucking hurt you, especially when you don't 152 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: want to see it. If somebody is dumb enough to 153 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: walk away from you, and you're a good woman, be 154 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: smart enough to let them go. I'm serious. I don't 155 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: know if you're a Christian, I don't know if you 156 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: believe in any higher being. I believe in God, and 157 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you know this. No offense to you 158 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: if you do not, but I'm gonna let you know. 159 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: God will remove something out of your life for you. 160 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: Be that as it may. He may do it any 161 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: way he sees fit for it to happen. Sometimes we're 162 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: blind to certain things that's not good for us. We 163 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: will stay in a relationship, we will stay miserable, will 164 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: be with someone and just stay stagnant at the expense 165 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: of our own hearts, at the expense of our own happiness, 166 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: our own sanity, our own mental health. Will trade that 167 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: for fucking love, or for what we think is love. 168 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: Will trade that. Love is not supposed to feel like 169 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: this now. Love is not easy, but love is not 170 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: supposed to feel one sided. It's not supposed to feel manipulative. 171 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: It's not supposed to feel so low and heartaching. It's 172 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: not it's not like I said, it's not easy, but 173 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: it's not impossible for it to feel good Right now, 174 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: it's impossible for you feel good. The only way that 175 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: you'll feel good, you feel, is if he'll come back 176 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: to you. I wouldn't even want him back, you understand, 177 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: because what he did was he flipp did. There was 178 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: an issue from the beginning that you never got to 179 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: the bottom of. And yet he was looking and fishing 180 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: and fishing until he found something which gave him the 181 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: reason to be done. All right. I just need a 182 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 1: way out, and you gave it to him. I will 183 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: also applaud your honesty with the other guy. You let 184 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 1: him know what it was. We're not gonna have sex, 185 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: We're not gonna I just I'm looking for some attention 186 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: right now because me and my man are going through 187 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 1: it and I'm not getting that at home. He's lacking attention, 188 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: he's lacking interest in me. I feel, you know, he's 189 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: falling back. He's being distant with me. You know, I 190 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: do applaud you for being very honest. However, I'm not 191 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: gonna give you no cookie for cheating, because that's still cheating. 192 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: But who knows what the funk your man was doing? 193 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: Your ex. I'm going to speak that into existence forever, 194 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: your ex, all right, I'm so sorry. I know how 195 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: a heartbreak feels. I know how it feels to want 196 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: somebody who don't want you. I know, listen to that again. 197 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it again, and I know how it 198 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: feels to want somebody back so bad that doesn't want you. 199 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: He Ben didn't want you. He just didn't know how 200 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: to leave you. He didn't have a reason to, and 201 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 1: he didn't want to break your heart. So some people 202 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: just feel like if we fall back, they'll get the picture. No, 203 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,439 Speaker 1: you need to communicate that because this girl is here 204 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,199 Speaker 1: in love with you still. You're still in love with him, 205 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: but only time helps you with that. I'm telling you 206 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: you can do better, and you better do better. Check 207 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: back in with me, baby girl. I'm so sorry, but 208 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: that ain't where you need to because you are better 209 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: than that and you deserve better. For sure. If you 210 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:36,959 Speaker 1: love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll 211 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: be right back moving on. Hey Jess, First off, I 212 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: wanted to let you know you're my favorite comedian and 213 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: the funniest person on the internet right now. I've been 214 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,959 Speaker 1: following your journey since before your pages kept getting deleted 215 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,719 Speaker 1: years ago. Oh and I go to one of your 216 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 1: shows when you come to my area. Okay, So I'm 217 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: a mom thirty years old. I have three kids, and 218 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 1: my kid's father is thirty years old as well. We 219 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: just recently separated. We lived together for years and seem 220 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,439 Speaker 1: to have a picture perfect family. They live with me now, 221 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: but Dad is active in their lives and lives on 222 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 1: his own. We both work full time jobs and have 223 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: busy schedules. However, he always seems to have time to 224 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: make spontaneous, impulsive decisions to go on vacations, overnight trips 225 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: with friends and leave me with the kids alone for 226 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: days at a time. I never have a lone time 227 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: or time for myself where I can go out with friends, 228 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 1: vacations or just relax kids free for a minute. He 229 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: has so much freedom, and in a way, I resent 230 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: him so much for that. Whenever I bring it up, 231 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: he turned it back on me and tell me I 232 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: complain too much or make excuses like I can have 233 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: a life too low key. I think he's going through 234 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,680 Speaker 1: a pre midlife crisis. I've always been a subtle and 235 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: meek girl, and when I use my voice to speak 236 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: up for myself, I'm always told I'm the problem, or 237 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 1: basically there's nothing I can do or say to make 238 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: him change his ways. I feel like I'm being taken 239 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: advantage of for my kindness and the fact that I'm 240 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: so accommodating. But at the same time, I'm accommodating because 241 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: the kids live with me, and as a mother, I 242 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: will never let them think they're an option to me 243 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: like he does. He loves his children, but he's very 244 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: immature and still wants to live that college boy bachelor life. 245 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: My question for you is what can I do differently 246 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: to get my point across or at least get him 247 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: to see what he's doing isn't fair. Thank you, Jess. 248 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: I love you, girl. Hey, baby, I love you as well. 249 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 1: I want to tell you first and foremost, thank you 250 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 1: so much for being a fan and a supporter over 251 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 1: the years. Girl. Back when my pages was getting deleted, 252 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: I was mad as hell and I started to give up. 253 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: Hell of times, Girl, they would delete my ship every 254 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: other fucking week, I swear, until I had to make 255 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: another one and start from scratch. Girl. Oh my god, 256 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: that took me back. But I appreciate you for being 257 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: a d one because that's what you proved to me 258 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: with that. All right, all right, now for your mess. 259 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: All right, So you guys are both thirty. You guys 260 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 1: have three children. Okay, so I don't know how long 261 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: you guys have been together, but it seems like you 262 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: guys have been together for a while. No, look, you're 263 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: not that old. Correct me if I'm wrong with an 264 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: update when you come back and update me on these 265 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: questions that I'm asking, or even you know, the advice 266 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: that I give you, hopefully you take it. So if 267 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: I'm not mistaken, I'm going to assume that you guys 268 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: have been together since what high school? If not since teenagers, 269 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: I would say, or college or something like that. I 270 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: would say that. The reason why I would say that 271 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,199 Speaker 1: is because you're only thirty. I don't know how old 272 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: your children are, but that's three kids, so there has 273 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: to be a couple of years in between them, unless 274 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: you got stair step kids. However, what I'm trying to 275 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: get at is if you guys started at such a 276 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: young age. No, he didn't get to live out his 277 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 1: bachelor years. Neither did you. But like I just told 278 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: someone else who mess I was fixing, we mature faster 279 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 1: than them. We know what we want faster than them, 280 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: We know what we need to do faster than them. 281 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: We become very responsible, quicker, very mature, quicker. You said 282 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: he's immature and he still wants to live the you know, 283 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: the bachelor days. Did he ever get to live them 284 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: out before you? You know, not justifying the way he's 285 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: going about it, but he does. He's correct. He has 286 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: a life too. You have one as well? Or are 287 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: there any other family members that can help you? Do 288 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 1: you guys have any other support systems? You know, your 289 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: parents or your aunt's, your uncle's, your cousins, little cousins, 290 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: or you know where you can go and let your 291 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 1: hair down for a weekend or you know, these kind 292 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: of things will be good with schedules. If you guys 293 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: aren't together, like you said, there needs to be a 294 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: co parenting schedule. It may seem like he's always vacationing 295 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: and he's always doing this, doing that, because you don't 296 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: ever get to do those things ever. Like you said, 297 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: you both work full time jobs, so it's because you 298 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 1: never get to do it, and probably when you get 299 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: to do it, you don't do it because you'd be 300 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: so tired from working and then being a full time 301 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: mommy as well. You just have to look at what 302 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: healthy co parenting looks like. Me and my son's father, 303 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: we we've been doing it for eight years now, and 304 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: that wasn't easy as well, but we've come to a place. 305 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: Are there still feelings there on either end? Do you 306 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: feel that a little of that resentment comes from you 307 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: guys failed relationship and I'm sorry if it didn't fail, 308 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: and you guys just grew apart. Let me know that 309 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: as well. But where where else is that resentment coming from? 310 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: Is he's still trying to get with you? Do you 311 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: still try to get with him? Do you still miss him? 312 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: Do you still want him back? Do you think he 313 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: still wants you back and that's why he takes all 314 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: these trips and all that you know to make you jealous? 315 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: Or two? It? Could it be deeply rooted? Could it 316 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: be another take on it? You need to think about 317 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: all that you know and that from wrong. That's fine, 318 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get more clarity on it before 319 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 1: I can really fully assess you the way that you 320 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: know you need. But I think scheduling would be the 321 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: best way. Communication and scheduling, scheduling, scheduling. There's four weeks 322 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: in a month. Most of the time you get the 323 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: first and third weekend. I'll take the second and fourth 324 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 1: weekend and I'll go do something with my girls and 325 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: all that. You know, And I do understand he is 326 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: very immature, yes, but he loves his children. And while 327 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: you feel that he treats them as an option, um, 328 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 1: I just think that you're more devoted because you're the 329 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 1: primary parents. They live with you, so of course you 330 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: have the bulk of the responsibility at all times. And 331 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: it's not just one, it's three of them. So I 332 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: can see how you're very, very stressed and just how 333 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 1: it's never enough time in a day and then you 334 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: have no me time and no time to let your 335 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 1: hair down. I think you need to commit to a schedule, 336 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: and no, you can't make him do something. But I 337 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: think I don't even know him, but I do think 338 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: the fact that he loves his children, he'd be open 339 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: to that. He would be open to it. Also, it 340 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 1: may depend on how you guys ended. How did it? 341 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: Was it a nasty breakup? Like you know? How? How how? 342 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: So just help me with more clarity, get back to me, 343 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: update me if you want, or if you can, but 344 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: just just let me know, let me know. I do 345 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: appreciate you reaching out, baby girl, But that's a scheduling issue. 346 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: That's all. That's it, that's all. Check back in now. 347 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: We got a commercial, and if you click off of 348 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 1: this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, 349 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: and this is the last one and we're gonna get 350 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: on out of here, y'all. This one is a voice note. Okay, okay, 351 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 1: Just first of all, I just want to say I 352 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 1: absolutely love your show, and I figured my problem might 353 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: be a little bit more interesting because you tend to 354 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 1: talk about relationship problems and things like that on here, 355 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: but mine's a little bit different. It actually has nothing 356 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: to do with relationships. I'm in college right now, and 357 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: I am in my first major production. Most of my 358 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: time here, I've been doing like little student productions that 359 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,719 Speaker 1: are a little bit rough around the edges because they 360 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 1: don't have a budget and it's really hard to get 361 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: into a main stage show where I go to school. 362 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: So I finally got into a mainstage show. I do 363 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: struggle with mental health, and I'm working, and I'm a senior, 364 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 1: and I'm doing a research project and I'm in the 365 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,440 Speaker 1: honors college. So there's just a lot on my plate 366 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: right now. But I was really happy because this show 367 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 1: has well. I wanted it to be an outlet for me. 368 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 1: I've been acting and singing ever since I was little, 369 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: so this is like my passion. So one day, the 370 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,399 Speaker 1: director emailed me and she said that multiple people had 371 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: come up to her and told her that I was 372 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: talking about her, and which is ridiculous because first of all, 373 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: that's not true, and I just kind of broke down 374 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: in front of her and I had a panic attack 375 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: because I am so dedicated to this project. I come 376 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: in every day. I don't complain. Well, there's other people 377 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 1: in the show who literally actively complained during rehearsal to 378 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: where she can hear them. And they talked during rehearsal 379 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: and they goof off and stuff like that, and it 380 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: just makes me feel like you decided to single me out, 381 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: you know, And there's already issues with racism and stuff 382 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: like that. In my school, so I'm trying not to 383 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: just make it that kind of issue, but I can't 384 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 1: help but feel that way. And now I come to 385 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,359 Speaker 1: rehearsal and I feel like just an outsider and like 386 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: I can't trust people because a lot of people in 387 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: that show are very messy, and I just don't know 388 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,640 Speaker 1: who to trust. Whenever I talk, people ignore me and 389 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: they'll just literally look me in the face and not 390 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 1: say anything. There was a bit of choreography that was 391 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: similar to a YouTube video of the show, and the 392 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 1: choreographer asked the girl to pick out who she wanted 393 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 1: to dance with, and I said, well, I was in 394 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: the YouTube video, you should pick me, and she was like, 395 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: we're not doing the YouTube video. And I don't know. 396 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 1: This whole process has just made me kind of depressed, 397 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: and I'm not wanting to come to rehearsal anymore. I 398 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: feel like I don't belong and I've talked my family 399 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 1: about it, and I know, truly inside, I have to 400 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: do it for me and I just have to suck 401 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: it up. But it's hard, you know, to come in 402 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: every day and feel like I'm not wanted. It just 403 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: makes me very sad, and I guess I just needed 404 00:19:56,080 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: your very good advice on this, baby girl. Absolutely, I'm 405 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,719 Speaker 1: very sorry. First of all, I want to send you 406 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: peace and love, and I want to send you a 407 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: fucking hug because that that ship just makes me want 408 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: to hold you and bury your head and my little bosoms, 409 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: you know, on my little chest. You know, you know, 410 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: I got some nice little seacups. But you know, no, seriously, 411 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: I really am sorry. And I also want to say 412 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm fucking proud of you. You have so much on 413 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: your plate. You're very articulate. You you sound, oh girl, 414 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: you sound so proper. I love that. I love that 415 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: you are well articulate. You carry yourself very very educated 416 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: and classy. You seem very educated, and you are very educated. 417 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 1: Listen to everything that you went down, everything that you 418 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: have on your plate, it's all academic. It's all educational. 419 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 1: I fucking love it all right. I think I heard 420 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 1: a little kitty in the back, You got a little 421 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: cat in the back, and I'd be no, no, baby, 422 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: I I was gonna say, I can you be a mom? 423 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,919 Speaker 1: And you got all this ship going on Jesus, So 424 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: I think I'm I'm gonna go in and say that 425 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: was a cat. Hopefully I made you laugh, because at 426 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 1: that's a lot dealing with racism and not being able 427 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: to shake it because you are in school, so it's 428 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: not like you can just drop out or you can 429 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: just not come again, and you want to get through this. 430 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,920 Speaker 1: Now I understand that the whole YouTube thing can be 431 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: off putting in academics because it's become such a trendy thing. 432 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 1: Now it's become such a social like YouTube is another 433 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,360 Speaker 1: social platform, if you will. At first, it wasn't like that. 434 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: You know, it was used like Google. It was used 435 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,120 Speaker 1: like it was used like a Google at first. Now 436 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: it's literally another social platform. So I do understand how 437 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 1: it can be off putting to certain professors and you know, 438 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: deans and teachers or what have you. However, if that's 439 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: something that you do and that you take pride, and 440 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: they should not shun you for it. The way I 441 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: deal with racial issues is I do remove myself at times. 442 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: I've been through so many racial issues and I faced 443 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: racism and prejudice before, I have not always been able 444 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 1: to remove myself. I went to an all white high school, 445 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: predominantly white, and I endured racism there. I couldn't drop out, 446 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 1: so that caused me to build tough skin. Nobody has 447 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 1: ever called me a nigger to my face, shall I say? 448 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: Or I never even heard it uttered from two white 449 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 1: pink tight as, but hole lips. I've never heard it, 450 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: but not to say that. I've never been called that, 451 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 1: but not to my face. I've never been um directly 452 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: ridiculed with racial slurs in person. I did hear things 453 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,919 Speaker 1: were said about me before by another party or you know, 454 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 1: whatever like that, but never direct I think this is 455 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: something that you can get through. I know it's hard 456 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 1: to go home every day and to have to deal 457 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 1: with that, but if you are not willing to transfer schools, 458 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 1: then you have to create such a thickness under that 459 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 1: melon in honey, under that skin. You have to create 460 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: that armor to where anything that they say, anything that 461 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: they do, you become resil and that ship needs to 462 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: bounce off of you. Why because they want you to 463 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,479 Speaker 1: get so fed up where you leave. They want you 464 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: to get so fed up where you break down and cry. 465 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: They want you to be defeated. They want you, but 466 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 1: they cannot defeat us. They can't. That's why they hate 467 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: us so bad at times that's why a lot of them, 468 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: not all of them, a lot of them hate us 469 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 1: so bad because we're resilient. We're strong. We don't crack 470 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 1: under pressure, bitch, we don't even crack and our skin okay, 471 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 1: we don't crack with age, we don't. We're resilient people. 472 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: Even the way that you speak, I give you the 473 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: utmost respect. You're a strong black woman that reads intimidation. 474 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 1: So you have to be able to pull yourself up 475 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: and say, no, I'm not gonna take this ship. I'm 476 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,359 Speaker 1: not about to keep running whatever. When she said, oh no, 477 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: we're not doing the YouTube thing, okay, cool. If that 478 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 1: ain't your cup of tee, if you don't know how 479 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 1: to operate it, that's fine. That's why I mean. If 480 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: if you don't know anything about it, just say that. 481 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: But because you can do whatever they challenge you to, 482 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: you can do whatever they think you can't. You understand, 483 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 1: don't ever break down in front of them. But you 484 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 1: go find a bathroom. I don't mean to call you 485 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,880 Speaker 1: a bitch. I'm so sorry, girl. You sound so nice 486 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: and precious. Baby, you go find a fucking bathroom if 487 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 1: it needs to come out of tears are about to 488 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 1: start streaming or whatever, or go find a bathroom. I'll 489 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: be damned if I let you do that in front 490 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,440 Speaker 1: of him. Ever. Again, they don't deserve your tears, they 491 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: don't deserve your soft heart. They don't. But you kill 492 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: him with kindness until you're done with this major. That's 493 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: what you do. And see how many of them come 494 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 1: with you? See how many of them? Because God don't 495 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,160 Speaker 1: like ugly. I don't know if you believe in him. Again, 496 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: no disrespect if you do not. But God don't like ugly. 497 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 1: He created us for a reason, and that is the 498 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 1: fucking shine. And you sound like you are the light 499 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 1: everywhere you go. So keep shining even when people try 500 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,879 Speaker 1: to dim you. Notice I said try, because you can 501 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,920 Speaker 1: try all you want. You understand, you have a heart 502 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: of gold and you're beautiful. I'm looking at your picture. 503 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: You are beautiful. Listen, stay resilient, endurance, that's what we got. 504 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: You got me. Check back in and let me know 505 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 1: if I need to get on the plane and come 506 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: beat some white ass. I ain't. I ain't playing with 507 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: it now. Let me know. I love you very very much. 508 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: And just like that, we've come to the end of 509 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 1: another Carefully Reckless with your girl Jess hilarious a K 510 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: eight Dr Jess. I've been helping y'all out left and right. 511 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 1: Who gonna help me? I love y'all so much. Make 512 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,160 Speaker 1: sure you're tuned into Reckless discussions. Tonight we got London back. 513 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: Y'all tune and last week was a funny episode A 514 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: drunk never have I ever, but we're gonna keep him 515 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: coming for y'all. Tune into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday, 516 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 1: seven am. On your way to work, on your way 517 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: to the gym, wherever you are, on your way to 518 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: take your babies to school, or landing in the bed. 519 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 1: If you want to listen, make sure you tune in, 520 00:25:55,160 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: and then my deepest pan boys peace lay. Carefully Reckless 521 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,360 Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. 522 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I 523 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to 524 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.