1
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:05,560
Speaker 1: Hi.

2
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,320
Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

3
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,120
Speaker 3: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.

4
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:20,240
Speaker 2: And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling,

5
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:26,960
Speaker 2: Railval No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth.

6
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:38,880
Speaker 4: Vely, that's good.

7
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 2: I am so excited too because of Adhd. I just

8
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,840
Speaker 2: want to say one thing. I haven't had a drink

9
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,240
Speaker 2: in a month. Yeah, a month. I haven't had a

10
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,080
Speaker 2: drink in a month, and I'm not a cigarette in

11
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:51,480
Speaker 2: a month.

12
00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,320
Speaker 5: I'm so proud of you.

13
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,960
Speaker 2: It's a double edge though, because I'm going to be

14
00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:01,160
Speaker 2: sober on your birthday. I don't care. Damn it, you're

15
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,880
Speaker 2: supposed to.

16
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,640
Speaker 5: That makes you. I'm going to toast to your sobriety.

17
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 2: But then I'm going to go to Cabo.

18
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:14,920
Speaker 5: So just just take it easy, just enjoy it.

19
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,000
Speaker 2: I just I feel fucking great. I mean, I'm reading.

20
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 2: We'll go over all that.

21
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's do the guests on the We've.

22
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,240
Speaker 3: Been waiting for this doctor ned Hallowell, which I think

23
00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 3: is how we pronounce it, hallowell Hallowell.

24
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,120
Speaker 5: We'll find out.

25
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,959
Speaker 3: I am incredibly exciting because you talk about this a lot.

26
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,280
Speaker 3: We talk about this a lot. I think ADHD is

27
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 3: like like like narcissism, like gaslighting, like all these like

28
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,639
Speaker 3: you know, hashtag things.

29
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,920
Speaker 5: It is very very.

30
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:52,960
Speaker 3: Overused to you know, to diagnose people. But I think

31
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 3: we come from a long line of people who have

32
00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:03,440
Speaker 3: certain types of things like dyslexia ADHD. And I'm really

33
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 3: excited to going to lay it all out.

34
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,960
Speaker 2: ADHD is hot right now? But is it too hot?

35
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 2: Is it? ADHD is as saturated the market?

36
00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,680
Speaker 5: All right, let's invite him in.

37
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 2: Hello, how are you?

38
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 1: I'm fine? Thanks, so are you?

39
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,679
Speaker 2: We're good. We're very excited to have you on.

40
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,720
Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited to be with you. You guys. You

41
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,079
Speaker 1: know you guys. Are you guys run the world?

42
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,080
Speaker 2: Well, one of us is Kate's.

43
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,840
Speaker 1: Your Kate, and the fellow with you is your husband.

44
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,680
Speaker 5: That's my brother, Oliver.

45
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:44,360
Speaker 1: Oliver.

46
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 2: Yes, but she did call me a Greek god when

47
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,560
Speaker 2: we were young, so I did.

48
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 5: I felt like he needed that kind of validation.

49
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,359
Speaker 1: Well with you as his sister, no, wonder Well.

50
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,840
Speaker 2: Now so I someone who understands me.

51
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, really you look like you're similar ages,

52
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 1: are you? Yeah?

53
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,440
Speaker 2: I'm older? So thank you? Really?

54
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,520
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, yeah, and you're so you see see if

55
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,600
Speaker 1: I'm up on my People magazine you're married to a

56
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,400
Speaker 1: baseball player.

57
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,480
Speaker 3: No, no, but I did date a baseball player once.

58
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,359
Speaker 1: Okay, so that wasn't who No, you did not make that.

59
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,720
Speaker 2: That was really I think you're writing People magazine from

60
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,239
Speaker 2: like two thousand and thirteen, nine nine.

61
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 1: How did you get into this? It's really wonderful of

62
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,680
Speaker 1: you to do it. I mean, you're trying to give

63
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 1: add the good name it deserves.

64
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,560
Speaker 2: Or get get you go. Because we.

65
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:55,040
Speaker 3: Come from a family of uh eighty people, Oliver and

66
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 3: I grew up. We grew up in you know, a

67
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,120
Speaker 3: time same with my mom when people weren't putting a

68
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 3: name to what it was that made certain things really difficult.

69
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,120
Speaker 1: It was smart and stupid and try harder that's.

70
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,720
Speaker 5: Right, or figure a way around it, you know. And

71
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:11,680
Speaker 5: I think people.

72
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,360
Speaker 3: Who suffered from ADHD were sort of you know, you say,

73
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 3: like had had nothing to understand really what it was

74
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,080
Speaker 3: except that, you know.

75
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,920
Speaker 5: For I think for Oliver and I it wasn't.

76
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,240
Speaker 3: About necessarily our intelligence or even our ability to get

77
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,920
Speaker 3: it done. It was the procrastination. It was the last minute.

78
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,920
Speaker 3: And I can speak for Oliver to you, we're very

79
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,920
Speaker 3: similar like this, like you know, procrastinate till the last

80
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,839
Speaker 3: last minute right before class, doing everything you can to

81
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 3: just get by. And yet when you kind of took

82
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,640
Speaker 3: the time to do the work and were able to

83
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,640
Speaker 3: have some sort of structure, would would have far more success.

84
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,279
Speaker 3: But no tools to create structure. On top of that,

85
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,479
Speaker 3: we didn't have the kind of family because I think.

86
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,200
Speaker 5: They all have the same thing.

87
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:06,880
Speaker 3: It really understood structure to help like help us through

88
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,760
Speaker 3: whatever that was that we were struggling with.

89
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:12,520
Speaker 5: It was just like, you know, you're failing this class.

90
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,240
Speaker 5: Figure it out.

91
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,719
Speaker 3: And and when I had my son writer, I realized

92
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,800
Speaker 3: there was something going on when he was really young,

93
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,800
Speaker 3: about three years old, about third grade, and I had

94
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 3: him assessed and it was the first time I really

95
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 3: understood ADHD is like a real like actually understood the

96
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,320
Speaker 3: Bell curve where you could have and test like in

97
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 3: the nineties of intelligence, but your executive function could be

98
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 3: you know, under a seven percent.

99
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,040
Speaker 5: And how that we've.

100
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,600
Speaker 1: Learned the jargon, I'm impressed. That's good.

101
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I've had to help I've had to try

102
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,560
Speaker 3: to help guide even amidst my own struggles.

103
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:50,120
Speaker 5: And then Oliver and I had this moment like about a.

104
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,560
Speaker 3: Year ago where he all, he was like, I was

105
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,359
Speaker 3: I think I afraid?

106
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,240
Speaker 5: Who said at first? But like we walk into bookstores,

107
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:57,440
Speaker 5: we have the same experience.

108
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,560
Speaker 3: We're like, I want to read every book, and then

109
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,800
Speaker 3: you pick up a book and it just like it

110
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:03,600
Speaker 3: takes like a year.

111
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and in this moment right now, but yes.

112
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,880
Speaker 3: It just sits there and you try so hard. I've

113
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,240
Speaker 3: figured out some tools. But anyway, we struggle with this.

114
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 2: And so, by the way, I have not been I

115
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,400
Speaker 2: don't know if you have, Kate, but I have not

116
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,840
Speaker 2: been clinically diagnosed with anything at all.

117
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,480
Speaker 1: Oh well, I could take care of that in about

118
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,200
Speaker 1: ten minutes. But that, Oh that's another thing. It has

119
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,880
Speaker 1: made people make it sound so complicated and it really isn't.

120
00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,760
Speaker 1: Have you read any of my books, by the way.

121
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,440
Speaker 5: No, no, but we because we don't have the focused No.

122
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,359
Speaker 1: No, I know, I know. But the last one is

123
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,800
Speaker 1: only one hundred pages long.

124
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,000
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I can do that.

125
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,320
Speaker 1: The express reason of people with add My first one,

126
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,400
Speaker 1: Driven to Distraction, came out in nineteen ninety four. It

127
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,200
Speaker 1: was too long. I mean, lots of people read it,

128
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,880
Speaker 1: but or said they read it, but you know it

129
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,960
Speaker 1: was just too long. But the recent ADHD two point

130
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,920
Speaker 1: zero is only one hundred pages and most of most

131
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,960
Speaker 1: people can get through that, and it's a total eye opener.

132
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,640
Speaker 1: I'm telling you you will just jump for joy. It's

133
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,719
Speaker 1: so not nearly as complicated as people think it is,

134
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,760
Speaker 1: but it's much richer and much more. It's a way

135
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,840
Speaker 1: of being in the world. I don't even think of

136
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 1: it as a medical diagnosis. Certainly. The term deficit disorder

137
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,080
Speaker 1: is it's just wrong. We don't have I have the

138
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,960
Speaker 1: condition along with thiss like sia. I don't have a

139
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 1: deficit of attention. I have an abundance of attention. My

140
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,160
Speaker 1: challenge is to control it. My mind is going seventeen

141
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 1: ways all at once, and that's hard, you know. And

142
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 1: as you mentioned procrastination, the reason we procrastinate is we

143
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:47,160
Speaker 1: crave high stimulation. We cannot do boredom. Boredom is our kryptonite.

144
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,160
Speaker 1: We just can't do it. So one way of creating

145
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 1: high stimulation is to create a crisis. Well, one way

146
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,280
Speaker 1: to create a crisis is to procrastinate. So if you're

147
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,800
Speaker 1: getting something done at the very last minute, you've got

148
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,360
Speaker 1: a big bullets of adrene on and adrenaline is uh

149
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,920
Speaker 1: nature's own riddlin or adderall, you know, So you're you're

150
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 1: self medicating without meaning to self medication. That's why that's

151
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,120
Speaker 1: why we also we love to get into arguments and

152
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:16,280
Speaker 1: fights and difficult relationships and and god, I love It's

153
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:21,240
Speaker 1: also why we're so unbelievably generous. We uh, we we

154
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,160
Speaker 1: just we just give give give this just our our

155
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 1: our way of being. And it's such an interesting condition.

156
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,480
Speaker 1: And and but to get rid of the pathology, no

157
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 1: deficit disorder, I mean I renamed it variable attention stimulus

158
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,600
Speaker 1: trait and and the variability is the key. We are

159
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 1: never the same person day to day, minute to minute

160
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:47,000
Speaker 1: even and we can be explosive one second, we're we're

161
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:51,000
Speaker 1: rapturously in love, the next second, we're we're arguing back

162
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,880
Speaker 1: and forth the next second. But we do have a

163
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:59,040
Speaker 1: heart of gold unless we've been traumatized so much that

164
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,360
Speaker 1: that has been beaten out. This but most of us

165
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,079
Speaker 1: were unbelievably naive. I mean, I can't tell you how

166
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,280
Speaker 1: many women I asked to marry me on the first date.

167
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:11,319
Speaker 1: It's like, let's make it last, you know, And that's

168
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,839
Speaker 1: so typical. You know, we're these babes in arms, and

169
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,360
Speaker 1: you know, God looks out for us because most of

170
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,160
Speaker 1: us are pretty norn talented, which is which is, which

171
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:21,560
Speaker 1: is good.

172
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 2: But when did you start this? Meaning when you were

173
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 2: young you had eighty HD or eighty D or whatever

174
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:29,880
Speaker 2: the hell it was called.

175
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well I'm seventy five years old. Right, you're

176
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,760
Speaker 1: supposed to say you don't look it, right, but you.

177
00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:36,840
Speaker 2: Don't look it. Yeah, you look you don't look at

178
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,160
Speaker 2: day over fifty eight.

179
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,679
Speaker 1: Thank you. But so when I was in school, I

180
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 1: went to school in Chatham Down and Cape caught.

181
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,040
Speaker 3: It and that was a very you know, I got

182
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,840
Speaker 3: my ID stolen in Chatham. Oh no kidding, I sure did.

183
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,920
Speaker 3: I had a fake ID and I was going into.

184
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,320
Speaker 2: That bar there. My wife is from there, My my

185
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,640
Speaker 2: in laws are from Falmouth. I go there every year.

186
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,440
Speaker 2: They're Bostonians, my wife. So you know, Chatham a good

187
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,160
Speaker 2: old wasp.

188
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,679
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like you know, you know what I call

189
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: the WASP triad, alcoholism, mental illness, and politeness.

190
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:19,800
Speaker 2: Exactly, that loss and the Chatham we we just we

191
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,160
Speaker 2: called it a drinking town with a fishing problem. Yeah

192
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:23,559
Speaker 2: that's all.

193
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,280
Speaker 1: So there, I am in first grade and I can't read,

194
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 1: and you're supposed to learn to read in first grade,

195
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,959
Speaker 1: and they didn't. They didn't know from learning differences. They were,

196
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,080
Speaker 1: like I said, smart and stupid and try harder. And

197
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,880
Speaker 1: they actually to get you to try harder, they would

198
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,120
Speaker 1: spank you. They spank kids in first grade and Chatham

199
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 1: back then. But I was so lucky. I had a

200
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,079
Speaker 1: teacher by the name of missus Eldridge, and she lives

201
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,439
Speaker 1: in my memory forever. She knew there was more to

202
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,560
Speaker 1: kids having trouble reading, them being stupid, and there were

203
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,040
Speaker 1: better ways to help them than punish them and humiliate them.

204
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,840
Speaker 1: So what was my treatment plan? What was my IEP?

205
00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,480
Speaker 1: During reading period, We'd be sitting at these little roundtables

206
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,920
Speaker 1: reading those exciting books he spot run and she would

207
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,320
Speaker 1: just come over and sit down next to me. I

208
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 1: would feel so safe, you know, none of the other

209
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 1: kids would laugh at me as I would stand more

210
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,480
Speaker 1: and stutter because I had the Mafia sitting next to me.

211
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 1: And that was my IEP. Now, by the end of

212
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,880
Speaker 1: the year, I was the worst reader in the class,

213
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 1: but I was the most enthusiastic terrible reader. You know,

214
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,559
Speaker 1: I really wanted to learn to read. And that's because

215
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,120
Speaker 1: the part of my brain that has talent with words

216
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,040
Speaker 1: was trying the best it could to inch its way

217
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,920
Speaker 1: out because it hadn't been scared away by the punishments

218
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,840
Speaker 1: and the shame and the ridicule. It hadn't yet reached

219
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,800
Speaker 1: its critical mass, if you will. But at least the

220
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,440
Speaker 1: door was still open because of that wonderful lady's arm. Now,

221
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,240
Speaker 1: I ended up majoring in English at Harvard, and I've

222
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,320
Speaker 1: while doing pre med and I've written twenty three book books.

223
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 2: And wow, it.

224
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,200
Speaker 1: Doesn't look like I have a reading disability, but I

225
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,080
Speaker 1: sure do. It takes me forever to get through a book.

226
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,240
Speaker 1: My wife says, I don't know how you know anything.

227
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 1: It takes me a lot. But it's it's like like

228
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 1: everything in this world, it's all paradoxical. You know, you

229
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,760
Speaker 1: can do this, you can't do that, You want to

230
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,440
Speaker 1: do this, you can do And as long as people

231
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,200
Speaker 1: don't try to beat us into submission, we change the world.

232
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,040
Speaker 1: Whoever invented the wheel definitely had add you know. And

233
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,800
Speaker 1: Hollywood is add heaven as Wall Street, you know, and

234
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:44,640
Speaker 1: wherever you find high intensity, high creativity, high emotional emotional

235
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,400
Speaker 1: energy you'll find add. Like I said, the thing we

236
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,880
Speaker 1: can't do is lack of stimulation, boredom. We just can't

237
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 1: do it. Deaf, we won't do it. We can't do it.

238
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,760
Speaker 1: It's like it's our kryptonite.

239
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so fucking true. I feel that so much.

240
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: That's another thing we say a lot of fuckings. Yeah

241
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:04,640
Speaker 1: the f bumps.

242
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,640
Speaker 2: Really is that true?

243
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because we have all this frustration that we

244
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,440
Speaker 1: need to bleed out of it, you know, in one

245
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,600
Speaker 1: way is to throw in an F bomb.

246
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:24,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. Did you use your experience, you know with that?

247
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,080
Speaker 2: Did that propel you into your line of work?

248
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,000
Speaker 1: Oh? Well yeah? So then I go. I had this

249
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,840
Speaker 1: distinguished academic career where nobody thought anything. I knew I

250
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,000
Speaker 1: was a slow reader, but that hadn't been diagnosed because

251
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,800
Speaker 1: I'd done so well. Nobody thought you, nothing can be

252
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,840
Speaker 1: wrong with you. And the same with the ADD. I mean,

253
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,400
Speaker 1: most people didn't even think ADD was real back then.

254
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,720
Speaker 1: I mean I graduated from Harvard in nineteen seventy three,

255
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,680
Speaker 1: and most people have never even heard of it. They'd

256
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,319
Speaker 1: heard of dyslexia, but they didn't really know what that

257
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,360
Speaker 1: was either, And so I just went ahead. You know,

258
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,040
Speaker 1: and it was clear that I wanted to be a

259
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,400
Speaker 1: psychiatrist because my father was crazy, you know, the lost pride.

260
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,240
Speaker 1: My family was a family of drugs and lunatics, and

261
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:14,240
Speaker 1: and you know, they were all well meaning though they

262
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,959
Speaker 1: were they were nice, which matters, you know. And and

263
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 1: but I was on a mission. And that's another thing.

264
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,240
Speaker 1: We're very mission driven that the two of you, you're passionate.

265
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,520
Speaker 1: You you, it's what makes you so good. And so

266
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 1: my mission was to, uh, you know, give the strange

267
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,800
Speaker 1: mind a good name. I'm proud to be the way

268
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: I am. I don't feel the least bit of shame.

269
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 1: I think other people should be envious. And the reason

270
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 1: is they don't have new ideas. Are what we have

271
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,720
Speaker 1: in spades that other people don't have is this huge imagination.

272
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 1: We we don't realize how big it is because we've

273
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,160
Speaker 1: always had it. We don't realize how dull most people are,

274
00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,080
Speaker 1: you know. And then and they just can't conceive.

275
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,360
Speaker 2: Of It's so funny say that, because I always wonder

276
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 2: like my brain is so on fire. I mean, I

277
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,880
Speaker 2: love my brain, but it's I'm thinking this in my

278
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 2: bad mamma. I'm creating scenarios that don't exist. I'm entering

279
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,720
Speaker 2: worlds that I might have created just for and I'm like,

280
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 2: what am I doing right now? I'm playing out death

281
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 2: scenarios where my whole family is dead and I'm alone.

282
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,520
Speaker 5: I did that all the time. I'm just like, I

283
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,480
Speaker 5: do the same thing.

284
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,320
Speaker 2: What am I doing? You know?

285
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,120
Speaker 5: Oh my god?

286
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:26,280
Speaker 1: That?

287
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,800
Speaker 3: And like every scenario, my brain wanders. And sometimes I'll

288
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 3: sit in bed when I'm really quiet and I'll think

289
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:39,280
Speaker 3: of this like insane like fairy tale, like science fiction world,

290
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,640
Speaker 3: and I'll be like a and then it's gone.

291
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 5: I'm like, where did it go? I can't write it down.

292
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,440
Speaker 1: Don't worry, It'll come back. You couldn't get rid of

293
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,360
Speaker 1: it if you wanted to.

294
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 3: I you know, I wonder my son has this thing

295
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,520
Speaker 3: because he's he's you know, he he has the type

296
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 3: where like it takes.

297
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,440
Speaker 5: Him forever to wake up and morning and I don't know,

298
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 5: I don't know what that is. I'm like, I wake

299
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,560
Speaker 5: up and I'm like, I'm shot out of a cannon.

300
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,720
Speaker 5: Rider has this thing where.

301
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: He Rider that's a great name. How old is he now?

302
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:12,920
Speaker 5: He's twenty one?

303
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 1: Oh boy? Oh my god?

304
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:19,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so he's doing really great, but he's his

305
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,880
Speaker 3: struggle is like to get up in the morning.

306
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 5: It takes him forever.

307
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 1: Well, actually, that's pretty common. We have trouble shutting it

308
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: down at night. As I like to say, I don't

309
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 1: want to leave the party. Yeah, when we finally get

310
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 1: ourselves to shut it down in the morning, it raising

311
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: it back up again. Is my daughter, we had to

312
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,840
Speaker 1: buy her a flying alarm clock so she hadn't get

313
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 1: out of the bed to turn it off.

314
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 2: Oh that's so funny.

315
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and what so that's basically because the brain's finally resting.

316
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's just it's just for whatever whatever makes

317
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 1: our brain unusual, it doesn't like to be put down,

318
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,359
Speaker 1: and then it doesn't like to be activated.

319
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,920
Speaker 2: Are there different forms of adh Oh.

320
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah absolutely, I mean it's it's certainly multi varied.

321
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 2: No, no tools, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about

322
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,879
Speaker 2: that in just firs a second, because I want to

323
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,000
Speaker 2: get into there's so many questions. But you know, you've

324
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 2: got first of all, ADHD seems hot right now. It's

325
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 2: like everyone is ADHD. My algorithm is all ADHD. You know,

326
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 2: from sort of the disastrous you know, to where their

327
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,720
Speaker 2: suicide to sort of the you know, just this sort

328
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 2: of scraping of the surface of it. You know, So

329
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,440
Speaker 2: how does the what's the spectrum?

330
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, it's so misunderstood. Like I said,

331
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: I could and if you read two point zero you'll

332
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 1: see it's going to Yeah, it's it's a way of

333
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 1: being in the world that is fundamentally different from other

334
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 1: people's way of being in the world. But there are commonalities.

335
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 1: So I mean, well, no two adds are the same.

336
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 1: You take us as a group, and you can see

337
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 1: that there's a lot in common. And where does non

338
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 1: add leave off and add begin. It's sort of like

339
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,919
Speaker 1: where does day leave off and night start? You know,

340
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,479
Speaker 1: there's a long period of dusk, and so it is

341
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 1: with this condition. You can't say exactly where, but you

342
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 1: sure can say there's a difference between night and day.

343
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,679
Speaker 1: You know, there's no doubt about that. So people who

344
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,160
Speaker 1: like to say, well you can't tell, well, that's true.

345
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: You can't tell at what time we go into night,

346
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 1: but you can say midnight is different from noon. And

347
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 1: that's the way it is. With this condition. We were

348
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 1: tremendously varied. We tend to be very creative, passionate, generous.

349
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: Like I said, impulsive. But by the way, the three

350
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 1: so called definings in the diagnostic manual, you know, this

351
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 1: condition is classified as a mental illness, which is ridiculous.

352
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: We should all be so mentally ill anyway. The three

353
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 1: defining qualities that make up the definition or distractability, impulsivity,

354
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 1: and hyperactivity, Well take each one of those and turn

355
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 1: it on its head and you get a positive that

356
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 1: you can't buy or teach. The flip side of distractability.

357
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:20,439
Speaker 1: Of distractability is curiosity. You know, what's that? What's that?

358
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,920
Speaker 1: What's that? Yeah, you're being distracted, but you're being distracted

359
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 1: because you're so curious. You want to know what's that,

360
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: what's in there? What you're constantly When I was a kid,

361
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: they called me the question box and they say, oh,

362
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: here he comes. Better to get out of the way.

363
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 1: You know, he's going to wear you at with all

364
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 1: his questions, you know. And then and then impulsivity. Oh

365
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 1: that's so bad, he's so impulsive. We'll give me asking

366
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: to marry me. On the first daid over and over again.

367
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:50,160
Speaker 1: What is creativity? But impulsivity gone right? You don't plan

368
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 1: to have a new idea. They pop spontaneously impulsively. You know,

369
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 1: and and and you can't on demand say okay, now

370
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 1: be creative. I mean you as an actor must feel

371
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 1: that all the time your best moments or your ad libs,

372
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 1: or your your you know, where did that come from?

373
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 1: You know? And and and then the third one, hyperactivity

374
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: you get to be My age is called energy. I'm

375
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 1: really glad I've got this little turbo pack on my back.

376
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: So what I'm trying to tell the world is get

377
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 1: it out of the Diagnostic Manual of Madness the DSM,

378
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 1: and put it into the Diagnostic Manual of Life like Shakespeare.

379
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, and and uh, because that's where

380
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 1: it ought to be. It's it's a variant on the

381
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,880
Speaker 1: theme of normal, but it's very much not normal. I mean,

382
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 1: you know, most people don't have it and don't have

383
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 1: I tell I tell people I don't treat uh, I

384
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 1: don't treat disabilities. I help people unwrap their gifts. Yeah,

385
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 1: this is a gift that does not unwrap itself.

386
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 3: And when you're talking to you, do you usually would

387
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 3: you work with an old and children or I mean,

388
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 3: do you work with people anymore?

389
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, Oh I love it, and both children and

390
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: adults more adults now than kids, although kids for sure.

391
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,479
Speaker 1: Most people bring their kids to me to have me

392
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: unbrainwash them, you know, tell them that there's actually a

393
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 1: lot of good about this and you're not a las,

394
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: you know, and yeah, and they just sit up in

395
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 1: their chair. It's like it's like sprinkling fairy dust. I mean,

396
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: they just suddenly you can see them. It's like those

397
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: things enemies. You put them in a bottle of water

398
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 1: and they just blossom. Well, that's that's what these kids

399
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: do when they hear the truth about who they are.

400
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: So so there's two parsons. There's hearing the truth, which

401
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 2: is which makes your back go up strater, Yeah, but

402
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 2: then there's implementing sort of the lessons or the the

403
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 2: tactics to bring out the best in your add So

404
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 2: that's why you.

405
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: Need You need three things. You need knowledge, which you

406
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 1: get like we're doing now. You need structure because we

407
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 1: get up time and go to bedtime a few you

408
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 1: know creative people who say I don't like structure, I say, yes,

409
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: you do. Look at shape. You look at Shakespeare and Mozart.

410
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: They worked within the tightest most structured forms you could imagine,

411
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: and within that they created infinite variety. So structure and

412
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: creativity go hand in hand without one. Without structure, you

413
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: have chaos. With structure, you create beauty. And then and

414
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 1: so that you need information. You need structure. Uh, you

415
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: need a coach, and that could be a teacher, a parent,

416
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: a therapist, a doctor. Somebody really understands what Missus Eldridge

417
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: was for me. She didn't know from add but she

418
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: knew a talented kid when she saw one, and and

419
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 1: helped draw that out. And then and then the then

420
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:48,959
Speaker 1: the question of medication, which is so misunderstood. Medication is

421
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: like eyeglasses. When it works, you see clearly. When it

422
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 1: doesn't work, that doesn't work, and that's okay, you don't

423
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: have to have it. It's it's not necessary. But when

424
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: it works, it's a godsend. It's an absolute godsend. People,

425
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: you know, people say, well, I'd rather try try without

426
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,360
Speaker 1: medicine for a few years, and I say to them,

427
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: that's fine. I've written books about how to unwrap the

428
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: gift of add without meds. But it's sort of like saying,

429
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: why don't we do a few years of squinting before

430
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 1: we try eyeglasses? You know, why not try the proven

431
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 1: remedy that will make all the non medication remedies that

432
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: much easier to use. People are amazingly neanderthal or just

433
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: skittish when it comes to medication, and well they should be,

434
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of bad meds out there.

435
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 3: You know, for sure, I get nervous about me. I

436
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 3: get nervous about like kids on adderall and stuff like that.

437
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: I don't know why I should get nervous, but that's

438
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: why it's so important to see a good doctor. And

439
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: there aren't that many to find. You know, a lot

440
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 1: of people say they know about it and how to

441
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: treat it, but they really don't.

442
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 2: How many different add meds are there. I know there's

443
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: like vive ants and there's adderall.

444
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: It's probably fifteen, but the basic two the core too.

445
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: And this is very reassuring news. Guess what year simula

446
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,679
Speaker 1: was first used to treat what we now call add

447
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: Let's make a wild guess.

448
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to say eighteen fifty, eighteen, eighteen nineties.

449
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to say you are nineteen thirty nineteen thirty seven, right,

450
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty seven, eighteenth century, But you're right. I was.

451
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 3: I went to like I went to this like pharmacy

452
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 3: that was like in the wild West. That was like

453
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: an old mock up, and they had they had all

454
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 3: kinds of medications that we had no idea.

455
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 5: Like was like, whoa, look at all this stuff. And

456
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 5: that was eighteen ninety six or.

457
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 2: Something in the nineteen thirty zero. Was that medication actually

458
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 2: targeting attention? No?

459
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: No, no, no, nobod you've heard of that? No, no, no,

460
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: it was that was what it was targeting was the

461
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 1: one symptom you can't ignore, which is disruptive behavior. God,

462
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,679
Speaker 1: it was boys who were throwing chairs around.

463
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 2: And what was that medicaid amphetamine? It was infinamine.

464
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: Adderall yeah, yeah, and it worked wonders and the kids,

465
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: and far from not wanting to do well, they loved it.

466
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: They called it their arithmetic phill till now they could

467
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: finally memorize these infernally boring math facts that they'd literally

468
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 1: been unable to do before. They were so boring. You

469
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: give them some amfetamine and they're sitting down there, humming,

470
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: and they're happy because everyone wants to do well, and

471
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: they were doing well. They'd gotten their eyeglasses.

472
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 2: And the medication when it works or it doesn't, work

473
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 2: like I guess, it just has to sort of coincide

474
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: with your chemistry and it's got to work correctly. I

475
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 2: took adderall one time at Coachella where a friend's like, dude,

476
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 2: take an adderall. It's fucking brad, And I took it

477
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 2: and I hated it. I was like, I feel like shit.

478
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 2: My wife is takes Vivance and it's a game changer.

479
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: She's on Vivans.

480
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 2: She gets Yeah, she gets everything fucking done. She takes

481
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 2: it as needed.

482
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: You've seen how dramatic it can be.

483
00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 2: I have and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna

484
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 2: take Avance. I'm gonna make a I'm gonna fucking make

485
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 2: a float plan. I'm gonna take up. I'm gonna do

486
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: my ship. And I took a vive Vance and I'm like,

487
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 2: oh man, I don't know good. I don't like this.

488
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 1: Okay, what was it? What? Let me know? What was

489
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: the dose? Oh gosh, that makes a big difference. Before

490
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: you give up, right before you give up on it,

491
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: just check the dose, because what these mens do is

492
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: very dose related.

493
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. The lowest is like ten milligrams five vans.

494
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: The lowest is I think they have a five now,

495
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: but yeah, you know it. Basically it's an increments of

496
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 1: ten milligrams up to around seventy.

497
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,719
Speaker 2: Okay, but there's no such thing.

498
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: By the way, the pharmacists don't understand this. But there's

499
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 1: no number diagnosis that is by definition too high. You

500
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 1: assess whether the dose is too high or too low

501
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 1: by what it does to you. If it makes you wacky,

502
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 1: then the dose is too high. If it does nothing,

503
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: then the dose is too low. And again we need

504
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: a sudden attack of common sense to you know, for

505
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: this all to be resolved.

506
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 2: Well, the timing of this is interesting because I have

507
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: never gone to a doctor. I've been in therapy all

508
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: my life, but I've never been clinically.

509
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: Diagoned over what Kate did to you as a little boy.

510
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: Well to get over what I did to her the

511
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 2: other way around. But I've but you know, I've called

512
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: a few friends and they've said, oh, you need to

513
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 2: see this person, and I got in touch with someone

514
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: and it was this long, crazy testing in this I'm like,

515
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to.

516
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,719
Speaker 1: Do all this and you shouldn't have to.

517
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: So then how is one sort of quickly diagnosed? Like,

518
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 2: how do we know whether we have this, you know, gift.

519
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: Let's just reframe it, Yeah, like.

520
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 5: How can you distinguish between.

521
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: Someone who knows it as well as I do? And

522
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: by the way, don't tell people that I said I

523
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: can diagnose you in a half an hour because they'll

524
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: think I'm a crack. But I absolutely can. I mean,

525
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 1: I can honestly diagnose someone the minute they walk in

526
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 1: the room. I can feel it emanates alf of them.

527
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: I can feel a fertile imagination when I'm with one.

528
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,199
Speaker 2: So are we? Are we all crazy? Am I? Am

529
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 2: I officially diagnosed?

530
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 1: Yes?

531
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 2: Yes, West? Can I ask.

532
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 5: You about Can I ask out the correlations with.

533
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 3: ADHD or ADD and anxiety and depression?

534
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 2: Yes?

535
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: Oh yes, let me tell you. I mean again, it's

536
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: it's obvious and very straightforward.

537
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 2: And sorry interrupts you, but I suffer. I'm on twenty

538
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 2: milligrams of lexipro because anxiety has been a at an

539
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 2: issue in my life.

540
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: And I think we should realise that. Do you still

541
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: have libido?

542
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: By the way, too much? Babe?

543
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: The problem with SSRIs is they diminished libido and they're

544
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: cognitively dulling. You lose a few IQ points and I

545
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: don't think that's worth it unless you really needed So.

546
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: No, I was real quick. Sorry, I tried to wean

547
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 2: off of it, and I did it correctly, and I

548
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 2: was so fucked up. I had to back on because.

549
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: You need it. So you're one of the people who

550
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: needs it, and it's a good thing we have. It's

551
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: just widely overused. But the relationship between the relationship between

552
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 1: the two is as follows. If you can't focus and

553
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 1: get organized and do what Kate earlier called correctly executive function,

554
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 1: you can't do that. It's such a fundamental part of

555
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: everyday life. You're going to be anxious. What am I

556
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: going to miss? What am I going to overlook? Who's

557
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: going to call me out next? What am I going

558
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: to get in trouble for? And you're you're walking around

559
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: like you know, oh my lord.

560
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 5: You're like in a constant state of failure, like you're

561
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 5: just failing.

562
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly exactly, and that feels like shit. So not

563
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: only are you anxious, but you're in a low grade depression.

564
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: It's not really depression as it is anxious apprehension that

565
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: you know you're not feeling good about yourself or about

566
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: your life. Well, that's going to look like depression. So

567
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: you get diagnosed with these two artifacts caused by the

568
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: untreated add of anxiety and depression, and what happens almost always,

569
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: particularly with adult women, you get put on an SSRI

570
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: to treat the side to treat the effect of the

571
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: untreated ad D. To treat the anxiety and depression, you

572
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 1: get put on an SSRI that has all kinds of

573
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: side effects that are undesirable. So if instead you treated

574
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: the add first, then you'd feel more focused, so you

575
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't be so anxious, and your your achievement would go

576
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: up so you wouldn't feel so depressed.

577
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 5: I think, Oliver, this is a really interesting thing.

578
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 2: I am like, this is my favorite podcast ever. And

579
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: by the way, I want to be friends. Like I

580
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: just want to put that out there. I don't know

581
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 2: where you live.

582
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: Where live just outside of Boston.

583
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: Okay, good, I'm there. I'm there for three weeks during

584
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 2: the summer. Come hang out, like, oh you can, I'd.

585
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: Be the toast of the neighborhood. You know who he knows? Wow?

586
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 3: I really, I really I really want Like, how can

587
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 3: a parent okay who can't afford to see have their

588
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 3: child see somebody but notices this and their child, like.

589
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 5: How how do they support their how do they support

590
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 5: their child? Like, what's the best way to reach it?

591
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 3: Because I know how hard I know how hard it is,

592
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 3: and uh, you know, to to even just to even

593
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 3: just to know that you're what what it is that's

594
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: going on with your kid? Like, how can like someone listening,

595
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: like what can they do that can make just just

596
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 3: like one thing or something simple that they can clue

597
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 3: into for their kids.

598
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: Well, knowledge is incredibly powerful. And if they would read

599
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: two point zero the most Reasons the shortest, I mean

600
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: people really, they start crying ten pages into the book.

601
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: Chapter one lays out what it is. Isn't holy shit?

602
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: You know why didn't someone tell me this? And it

603
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: saves marriages, it saves childhoods, it saves jobs, it saves careers.

604
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: I mean people get fired right and the left because

605
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: of the impulsivity that comes with add or they get

606
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: kicked out of school and they get chalked up as

607
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: bad seed or you know, the devil's animo. All it

608
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: is is imagination run wild. The analogy I give kids

609
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 1: that say, it's like you've got a Ferrari engine for

610
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: a brain. You've got this incredibly powerful race car for

611
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 1: a brain. The problem is you have bicycle brakes. Well,

612
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: I'm a break specialist. I'll help you strengthen your breaks

613
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: so you won't drive through stops on so you won't

614
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: spin out on curbs, so you'll win the races. You're

615
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: a champion in the making, but you got to strengthen

616
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: those breaks first.

617
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 5: Olie, is this making you emotional a little?

618
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean it's just so spot on, like I

619
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 2: just relate to it entirely, and just you know, we were

620
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 2: talking about before you came on. But you know, I

621
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 2: haven't had a drink in a month. I haven't had

622
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 2: a cigarette in a month, and for me, that's big.

623
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: I might be a lower case a alcoholic. I definitely have,

624
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 2: you know, impulsivity issues, addiction sort of, it's I can

625
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: feel that it's a part of you know, So actually,

626
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 2: Kate asking that, you know, I've never been more clear.

627
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm on my brain is on fire

628
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: now with sort of this, the fog has lifted and.

629
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: Your best work is ahead of you. Are you an

630
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: actor as well?

631
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: Or yeah? Yeah, yeah, so this is this is part

632
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 2: of I have so many questions. But you know, for

633
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 2: me personally, I we have. We have an extremely talented family,

634
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: and everyone is in this business. Yeah I am the

635
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: most talented, but I am I I'm the most talented

636
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 2: I could be. I could win in a world wards

637
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 2: as actor, I could directing by.

638
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: The most modest on top of them.

639
00:33:55,560 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but if there's so much inside of me

640
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: that I want to get out, but it's so difficult

641
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 2: because I get overwhelmed and quit. You know, I don't

642
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 2: know how to access it, and it's frustrating because I

643
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: know how great I am.

644
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 3: Well, wait, you guys, I have to I have to

645
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 3: interrupt this because my son just facetimed me and I said, honey,

646
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 3: I'm on a podcast.

647
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 2: Guys, amazing.

648
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 3: We're talking with an ADHD expert. And he writes, I

649
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 3: hope he's making me sound like the genius I am.

650
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 2: Right now, Well, writer Rider, her son is a lot

651
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 2: like me, a lot like.

652
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 5: I think the most like you.

653
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 1: Raised them right. Sadly, they're like two percent, you know,

654
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 1: ninety eight percent get told from day one that they're

655
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: bad boys, bad girls there. They know fluts, their hyper

656
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: sexual their addicts there.

657
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 3: I'll never forget when my son came home in sixth

658
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 3: grade and and writer, funny, popular, cool, makes everybody laugh, Like,

659
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 3: and he just came home weeping.

660
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 5: I'm so stupid. I can't. I'm so dumb.

661
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 3: I'm and I and and I was like, what a

662
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 3: terrible Like you know when when it's your child and

663
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: you know how brilliant they are, it's like, thank God,

664
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 3: I'm not that kind of parent that needs excellence in

665
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 3: in in academics.

666
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 2: She's like, I know, I recognize.

667
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: The gift without without decorating it with grades, And.

668
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: Let me can I can I just get back to

669
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 2: this impulsivity thing again, because I because it can be dangerous,

670
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: you know, with gambling or drugs or alcohol or sex

671
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: or all of that. Right, Oh, all of it.

672
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I've done all of those, you know.

673
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: Right, So how how do you come out of that?

674
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, at what point are

675
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 2: you moving into real addiction stuff in one point? And

676
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 2: what point is it sort of your ADHD and impulsivity

677
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 2: taking over?

678
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: Oh that's like the thing where does day leave off

679
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: the night begin? And one of the best rules of

680
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: life I ever learned was from my first year of

681
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 1: psychiatric training. Tom Gutal was his name, and he said

682
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: never worry alone, and that is so profound. Well, just

683
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: never worry alone. When you worry alone, you get into

684
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: worst trouble. That's when your worst introspections happen, when your

685
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: worst fears get confirmed, when you hate yourself, when you

686
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,320
Speaker 1: behave impulsively, you get drunk, or attempts suicide or whatever

687
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: it might happen to be or you know. And so

688
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: if you if you have people, reliable, others, friends, whatever,

689
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: that you and that you're honest enough to tell them

690
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: the truth. You know, some of our stuff is not

691
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: exactly we want everyone to know about it. But if

692
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 1: you're brave enough, and that's the solution, is to not

693
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: worry alone.

694
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: I love that I might get that tattooed on me.

695
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 5: That's just the best.

696
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting because my kids, you know, wild are

697
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:12,720
Speaker 2: my oldest.

698
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, what a good name for someone with add

699
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: His name is Wilder.

700
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 2: His name is Wilder.

701
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.

702
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: And I'm like, do you think you have like a

703
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 2: d D? And he's like, oh, yeah, of course, he

704
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 2: goes there's no doubt, of course. But he's like but

705
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: he's just like kind of oh, he's cool with it.

706
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: He's like I don't. Yeah, of course the.

707
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: Guy he should be. I mean I brag about it.

708
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: I tell people, yeah, and even Body my middle kids.

709
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 2: My middle boy's name is body.

710
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: And Body or Brody Body.

711
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 2: Body bo d H. I like like Bodystockpham and and

712
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 2: you know, his brain is on fire and he's crazy

713
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: and he's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm nuts. I know

714
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 2: they're all crazy, but there seems to be an acceptance

715
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 2: of their insanity, you know.

716
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: And thank God, thank God, because we live in you know,

717
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: there's so many narrow minded people out there and they

718
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: do so much damage. But you know, you know, I

719
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: haven't believe in God, and people pin me down about that,

720
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: and how can't you believe in God? It's a fairytale.

721
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 1: I say, well, you believe in love, don't you? And

722
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: most people say yeah. I say, well, God is love.

723
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: It's just that simple, you know.

724
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 2: Now, I'm with you. I'm not. I don't know. But

725
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 2: is God a person in the sky.

726
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: No, it's a spirit. It's a force. It's an invisible force, right,

727
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: but like gravity is an invisible force.

728
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 3: I still want to understand something that a parent can

729
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 3: do to help their child, Like what is something like

730
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 3: tangible something they could start.

731
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 1: Kate just what I've been saying. Teach them about their brain,

732
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: teach them read read. I wrote a shorter book recently.

733
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 1: It's called adhd Explain and and it's got illustrations, and

734
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: I mean, it's even shorter, it's even easier to read.

735
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: But it's not watered down. It's not like a children's book.

736
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 1: It is in the format but people. And it's wonderful.

737
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: So you can read that with them and then and

738
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: then it can't be done in one sitting. It's it's

739
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: over the course of a childhood, of a lifetime and

740
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: and and it's a matter of delving. I still discovered

741
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: parts of myself I didn't know. I mean, and it's

742
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: a wonderful exploration to finding out, you know. And it's

743
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: plus and minus pain and pleasure. I too had a

744
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: major drinking. I wasn't alcoholic, but I looked forward to

745
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: my drinks every day. And then about five years ago,

746
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: without planning or even wanting to, I just stopped. I

747
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: had no idea. It was the grace of God because

748
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: I was I was trying to start a new book

749
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: and the title of it is You're better than you

750
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: think you are. And I think my brain knew that

751
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: I do better off alcohol than So.

752
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: How much would you drink when you came home on.

753
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: Your average day? I mean more than two beers I'll

754
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: say that. You know, I'd go out for dinner and

755
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: I'd have two or three martinis yeah, and two or

756
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: three glasses of wine.

757
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

758
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 1: And before I got married, well that was thirty five

759
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 1: years ago. But even when I was dating Soup, my

760
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: idea of heaven was to go out with a beautiful

761
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: woman and who was intelligent, and we would have amazing

762
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 1: conversation over several martinis and several cigarettes, and we'd settle

763
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: all the issues of the world. We'd harmal recreation.

764
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: I mean, that was that was heaven to me, And

765
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 2: even as.

766
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 1: I describe it now, it sounds pretty good. You know.

767
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, God, I'm definitely visiting you this summer.

768
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I mean what is that before we I

769
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 3: have one other question about like the hyper focused add

770
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 3: like the ones that go into hyper focus where they

771
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 3: can go, well, we all do.

772
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: I mean, That's why I can write so many books.

773
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: I mean, but when we are creatively engaged, we are rock.

774
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 1: We are laser being focused. The building could be burning

775
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: down and we are not aware we are so there.

776
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: You're probably like that when you're acting, both of you.

777
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: I mean, when you're doing something creative that you want

778
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: to be doing, it can be incredibly difficult, like, but

779
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: you guys do it's very very you know what I

780
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: do writing, very difficult disciplines. But we love it and

781
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: so we focus on it, and we also hate it

782
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 1: because it's never I don't know about you, but it's

783
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: never as good as I want it to be. And

784
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: so it's like golf, and you're never as good as

785
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: you want it to be. But why do I play it?

786
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: Because nothing's better?

787
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:47,399
Speaker 2: How about that? Masters? By the way, Oh, by the way,

788
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna scratch golfer. I used to be a plus two.

789
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: Are you really? I'm inssed?

790
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 4: I was.

791
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 2: My eighty D sort of focused me on that when

792
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 2: I was in my late twenties and thirties.

793
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: Eighty eight. Golf is a great add sport because you

794
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: get another chance every time. Yeah, you know, I had

795
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: bet on malcol Roy and I thought I won that

796
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: I thought I lost.

797
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 2: God what it was so great?

798
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 5: It was so much fun to watch.

799
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: You're a golf fan.

800
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:18,439
Speaker 5: You know what's funny? I love I got. I got

801
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 5: the bug about a year ago.

802
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: Now I'm really loving playing golf, and now I love

803
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 3: watching I've never enjoyed it, and now I like put

804
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 3: on even like you know the Ladies PGA, and I

805
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 3: watch it like, oh.

806
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: No, it's incredible control over all these moving parts. A

807
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: beautiful golf swing is beautiful.

808
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: And Rory's is my favorite golf swing ever.

809
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 3: Ollie, Ollie, the Greek god that he is, has an

810
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 3: amazing golf swing.

811
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: Who's Allie? Is he?

812
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 5: Oliver is the person that you're talk Ollie? Oliver my brother? Yeah,

813
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 5: he's Oliver.

814
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

815
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, we got to work on that add But.

816
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: It's really touching and obvious how much you love each other.

817
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: That's it's really yeah.

818
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

819
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: Do you have other siblings?

820
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 3: No, we have We have siblings. We have three, so

821
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 3: it's four of us that all grew up together. So

822
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 3: me and three brothers including Allie and then Oliver and

823
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 3: I all together, we have six siblings.

824
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: Oh we halves, there's halves in there. Yeah.

825
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:29,959
Speaker 1: And are your are your parents creatives too?

826
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

827
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 5: Every single one?

828
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wonderful. What and you grew up in California?

829
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, in Colorado.

830
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: You're both in your forties.

831
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 2: I'm forty eight. Yeah.

832
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,479
Speaker 1: Wow, you have to write this at some point, you know, I.

833
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,760
Speaker 5: Know we should.

834
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 2: Well, that's what's fun about this podcast is being able

835
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 2: to sort of connect in a different way, you know,

836
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 2: Katie and I being able to have these conversations with

837
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 2: you and other people, and you learn about yourself, you know,

838
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: as we go through this process of the podcast, this

839
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 2: has been amazing. I cannot wait to read your book,

840
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 2: that hundred pager and I feel like as a d

841
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 2: as add gets more prominent, your books are going to

842
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 2: get shorter and shorter, the point where it's like you're

843
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 2: going to open up the book and it's like you

844
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: if you've bought this book, you have it. That's it.

845
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 2: But before we leave, I know we got to go,

846
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 2: but I want to ask a real quick question about

847
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 2: you know, how you've seen this, you know, this gift

848
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 2: grow and has it gotten has there been more? And

849
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 2: how much social media? How much technology is influencing this

850
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 2: or if it is at all?

851
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it is, like I mean, I it's

852
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: an answer to my prayers when I published Driven Distraction.

853
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,760
Speaker 1: I have a very good friend who's a major player

854
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 1: in the in the publication world, and he said, ned,

855
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 1: don't get your hopes up. This book is not going

856
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: to change your life. And second, I don't like your time.

857
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: It sounds like a book about cars, and all of

858
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: those statements have proven to be very wrong. It's not

859
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: a book about cars. And it dramatically changed my life,

860
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 1: but more important, changed the lives of millions of people.

861
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: It's sold two million copies and still selling strong. And

862
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 1: then the other books I've written, they're not all about

863
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: add book about worry, a book about raising children that's

864
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: my favorite book, and a book about connection, a book

865
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: about my own crazy family. The title is because I

866
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: came from a crazy family, And that was my answer.

867
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:35,919
Speaker 1: By the way, people would say, why did you become

868
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist? Because I come from a crazy family. It's

869
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: I am so blessed and relieved and great. I mean

870
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm talking to you, that means it's

871
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: going to move even more and the chance for truth

872
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 1: and knowledge to do good in this world. It's just

873
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 1: wonderful when you see it, because so often the opposite,

874
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 1: you know, held sway, But this is this is a

875
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 1: good news diagnosis. Unlike most medical diagnosis I can say

876
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:14,879
Speaker 1: to my patients for sure, you will get better. How

877
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: much better I can't tell you, but I can promise

878
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 1: you you will your life will improve and and and

879
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 1: that's pretty wonderful feeling.

880
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: You know, have you seen a spike, a growth, a

881
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 2: growth just TikTok?

882
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,879
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know? Have you seen me on TikTok? No?

883
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 2: I haven't. But I'm wondering if, like you think that

884
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 2: tick because everyone says it does. But from a doctor standpoint,

885
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: does TikTok fuck you up?

886
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: No? What? No? Yes, yes, and no. Social media can

887
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: fuck you up. It's and it's not just the content

888
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: of the social media. It's what you're not doing when

889
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 1: you're on social media. You're not playing baseball, you're not

890
00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: having sex, you're not writing an you're not you know,

891
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: daydreaming lying on your back in the grass and daydreaming.

892
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: You're you're not doing all the things that your mind

893
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: is meant to do. And watching TikTok is pretty low

894
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: on the on the on the on the table of

895
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: what is good for you to do. And I say

896
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: that as someone who I've made like fifty TikTok things

897
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: about add but some of them are just so inane

898
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: and then people really do get addicted. They really do.

899
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 1: They if you define addiction as craving and then becoming

900
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: really violent when you don't get it, Yeah, TikTok addictions,

901
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 1: social media addiction is very real. But don't worry about that.

902
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: Just channel your kids and other kids into the garden

903
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: of delights that that life offers in a positive and

904
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 1: constructive way. You guys are you guys are the fairy

905
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 1: godmothers of this world. People look up to you and

906
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 1: follow you, and you happened. I can tell just in

907
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: talking to you. Happen to be good through and through. Uh,

908
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: You're You're honest, you're playful, you're fun, you're creative. You

909
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 1: happen to be very attractive, which never hurts, and you

910
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: know it's And you're doing your like this. You don't

911
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: need to do this podcast, You're you're doing it because

912
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 1: you want to do something useful, do something creative, and

913
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: you are. Yeah, I'm not buttering you up. I'm just

914
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,879
Speaker 1: saying what I'm feeling.

915
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 3: And that that made me feel so good.

916
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,839
Speaker 2: Well, I'm one going to buy your book right now

917
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 2: that I know me too.

918
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: We've suddenly we've made new friends.

919
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 3: When did your book two point zero come out two

920
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: years ago, and do.

921
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 5: You have another one coming out soon?

922
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 1: Well? As soon as some I mean, I keep polishing, polishing, polishing.

923
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 1: I've never put so much time into a book ever.

924
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 1: I've been working on it for a couple of years.

925
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 1: And like I said, the title is You're better than

926
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 1: You Think you are? And I just I see this

927
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: as a as a as a problem bigger than any

928
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: by far. There are just so many people out there

929
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 1: who sell themselves short. Yeah, you know, and they and

930
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: they give up too easily because they just don't have

931
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: that faith in themselves. And it almost always comes back

932
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 1: to they don't have the right people encouraging them. It

933
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 1: is just very hard to pull yourself up by your

934
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 1: own bootstraps. And they have the talent, they have the goodness,

935
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 1: they have the motivation, and and they they just in fact,

936
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: the book, the first line of the book is how

937
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: do you convince a person that it's Sunday when it

938
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: is in fact Sunday.

939
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:50,280
Speaker 2: I love that, And then that's that's the conundrum that

940
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 2: so many people live with.

941
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 1: It. Yeah, well, you two are very special and I

942
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: thank you for.

943
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 2: Thank you for I appreciation. This is really fun.

944
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 5: Thank you so much. Have the best day and we'll

945
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 5: have you on again.

946
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: Keep in touch, keep this going.

947
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: Take care.

948
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 5: Yeah all right, thanks doctor, But how great?

949
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 2: I love him. I want to be his friend. I

950
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 2: want him to mentor me. I wanted to take me

951
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 2: to the Promised Land whatever that is.

952
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 5: I feel inspired me too.

953
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go like direct something and win on a war.

954
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 3: But you know what you should say is that what

955
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,280
Speaker 3: you want to do is get off your is reap

956
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 3: for me. Yeah, like what an amazing thing to be like.

957
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I've been treating my symptom, not the actual problem.

958
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, so maybe you need to get off. Try to

959
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 5: get off of it. Not wait till after the summer.

960
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,760
Speaker 2: Don't ruin our summer.

961
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 5: Let's let's not get weird. Increase.

962
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I'll start in like you know, when we

963
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: get home, like in August.

964
00:50:55,880 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like wean off and then and then try yeah,

965
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 3: try something else as long as you feel good about it.

966
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 2: You know. Wow, that was cool.

967
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 3: I know I hear way for a rider to hear

968
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 3: this one. Yeah, anyway, I loved it. I love you.

969
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 5: I loved it.