1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,720 Speaker 1: This is John. 2 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and. 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up. 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,639 Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 2: got a quick tun minute ad break from a sponsors, 6 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling. 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 3: My mother in law ruined my wedding. 8 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: What else was she supposed to do? 9 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 3: My fiance and I are getting married in two months. 10 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 3: As the wedding has been getting closer, my future mother 11 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 3: in law is showing signs of craziness I have never 12 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 3: seen before. 13 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: Because it was always about her. 14 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. I have known my mother in law for over 15 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 3: five years now and have always loved her. By the way, 16 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 3: this comes from Proud Rooster fifteen fifty seven, and if 17 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 18 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 3: rs slash Okay story Time Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, 19 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 3: and I'm Keon, and we'll try to give our best advice. 20 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 3: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so 21 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 3: if you have, let us know what you would do 22 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 3: in the comments, and Op says a little backstory. My 23 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 3: fiance's parents were married twenty seven years and they ended 24 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 3: up getting divorced a couple of years ago due to 25 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 3: financial reasons. My future father in law remarried to a 26 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 3: wonderful lady who has trying to connect with me and 27 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 3: my fiance's brother's fiance. 28 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: Okay, reconnect me with my pull. 29 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 3: A backup fiances so op's fiance's brother brothers fiance, so 30 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 3: basically girlfriends brother in law's girlfriend. There has been a 31 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 3: lot of drama recently due to my future mother in 32 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 3: law not being told the date of our wedding as 33 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 3: soon as we confirmed it. She found out from her 34 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 3: ex husband because my fiance was still living with him. 35 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 3: On the rehearsal dinner invitation card, I put it was 36 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 3: hosted by the groom's family. I wanted her to feel 37 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 3: included even though she isn't paying for it. She was 38 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 3: upset because no one told her about it or asked. 39 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 3: I think that's a fair thing to be upset for 40 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 3: her to be, like, no. 41 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: One told me about the wedding, No one told me 42 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: about the wedding day, and no one told you that 43 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: you rehearsed. Yeah, so far, I see where the mother 44 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: will has come from. 45 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, my fiance told her it was because of her 46 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 3: financial issues, and he didn't want it to be a 47 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 3: burden on her. I think you still should have told 48 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 3: her and then she could make that decision of whether 49 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 3: or not she could afford it. Yeah, you could even say, like, hey, 50 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,959 Speaker 3: I know you've been having like I just want to 51 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 3: invite you because I care about you and I wish 52 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 3: you could come, But if you can't, I totally understand. 53 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 3: She visited our house and pulled me aside to say, 54 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 3: what are the seating arrangements going to be like for 55 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 3: the wedding? As long as you don't sit me next 56 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 3: to her talking about my father in law's new wife. 57 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,239 Speaker 3: Also fair care. I mean, I don't know if you 58 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,839 Speaker 3: needed to say that specifically. 59 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: She probably said it differently too. 60 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 3: She has voiced her opinion over several occasions about how 61 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 3: she wants it to be known she is the mother 62 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 3: of the groom and not my father in law's new wife. 63 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 3: A fair. I was so fair. She's probably saying he's 64 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 3: pretty nastily. 65 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: Though, Okay, okay. 66 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 3: She is constantly reminding everyone she will be civil at 67 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 3: our shower and wedding for the sake of her boys. 68 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 3: In my opinion, you don't announce you will be civil, 69 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 3: you just are. She has repeatedly sent text messages to 70 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 3: my fiance and his brother, as well as her ex husband, 71 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 3: talking about how she has received the bad end of 72 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 3: the stick in life, but she wants to do what's 73 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 3: best for her boys. Today, I received a text message 74 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 3: from her about a shirt a friend of hers daughter. 75 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 3: The shirt says mother of the groom with the letter 76 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 3: O in of as a diamond ring. Underneath it says 77 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 3: our wedding date. Underneath that, it says I left him first, 78 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 3: with the date of my fiance's birthday. Okay, cute, that's 79 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 3: a little weird. That one's a little weird. 80 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 4: I'm sorry that one's. 81 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 3: A little weird. I'd be like, Okay, I have spoken 82 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 3: to my mom about this and I'm genuinely lost for 83 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 3: what to do. I feel offended by the shirt, and 84 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 3: I also think it's supposed to be a jab at 85 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 3: my father in law's new wife as well. Oh yeah, 86 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 3: any advice please. And there are some comments. Dude, it 87 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 3: seems like she is just causing problems. She just wants 88 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 3: to be center of attention and cause little drama. You know. 89 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: If this happened, yeah to me, my wife, my fiance 90 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: probably have the same reaction. I have now, Oh, really 91 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: she's causing problems. Oh I just was just something she'd like, 92 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: we don't have to listen to them all. 93 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I think that's I mean, I 94 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 3: do think that is the solutionion. 95 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: It's just like, yeah, but if I heard all these things, 96 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: I'd probably be like, Okay, just don't sit her beside. 97 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 3: The Yeah, I know that. I agree. It's like, obviously 98 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 3: she's causing problems, but I don't think there's you know, 99 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 3: she's not throwing things at people. She's just kind of 100 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 3: annoying like that one story. Yeah, so I think you 101 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 3: just say, okay, we won't sit her next to that person. 102 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: Skill out of one to ten, and how much of 103 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: a mother in law bridezilla she is being? Were like 104 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: a four? 105 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 3: Five she's being annoying. 106 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 4: I'm yeah, I'm gonna say five right now. 107 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: But I can see I can see it getting worse. 108 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: But right now, I'm like, okay, comment. 109 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 3: What she's jealous and insecure, perhaps a mother in law bouncer. 110 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 3: If she can't behave herself at the w let them 111 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,559 Speaker 3: deal with babysitting her. Opie says, way ahead of U, lol, 112 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 3: My wedding coordinator is such a girl's girl, and she 113 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 3: is ready at any given moment to throw hands. Reply 114 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 3: is the shirt to communicate something to mother in law's 115 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 3: ex husband and or new wife. Because I was reading 116 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 3: about the shirt and thought it was ammeshment like mother 117 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 3: in law being possessive of her son versus you, op 118 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 3: Opie says, See, I think that's the message that I'm 119 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 3: picking up on too. I think she got a two 120 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 3: for one deal because it's a jab at the new wife, 121 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 3: but also could be for me too because I'm the 122 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 3: one marrying him. Reply, Okay, yeah, I think it's the 123 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 3: wedding ring image and son's birthday that makes me lean 124 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 3: towards her son's marriage with you at it next day, 125 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 3: I actually can see this woman not intending to take 126 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 3: a shot at you, like if she was worked up 127 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 3: pushing back at everything and just got messy af So, 128 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 3: I have a mom who does not understand boundaries, and 129 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 3: my brothers have told me at times it feels like 130 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 3: she was trying to make them be not just her son, 131 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,799 Speaker 3: but trying to make them feel her social and emotional needs. 132 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 3: Have you felt like she blurs the lines of what 133 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 3: a mom should expect of your partner, like, does she 134 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 3: want him to drop what he's doing and attend to 135 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: her or attend to her when she has big feelings 136 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 3: or crises? Opie says, hold on, hold on now. I 137 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 3: was not ready for that. So a while ago, when 138 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 3: she first moved out on her own again, she would 139 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 3: call him repeatedly to work on something in her house. 140 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 3: Sure it was things she absolutely needed and couldn't afford, 141 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 3: like a front porch. Hers was dry rotted and not safe. 142 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: She asked her front porch. 143 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,720 Speaker 3: That's yeah, she needed that front porch. Then it got 144 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 3: to be mowing the grass or pulling up roots, et cetera, 145 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 3: et cetera. Finally she stopped doing that, but at one 146 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 3: point she was doing that. Common two says, is she 147 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 3: planning on wearing it to the versal dinner or the wedding? 148 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 3: If not, why did she text you a pick of 149 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 3: it looking for a reaction. I wouldn't give her one, 150 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 3: Opie says, I have no idea. I'm too afraid to 151 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 3: ask her when she plans on wearing it, because I 152 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 3: don't want it to seem like I'm inviting her to 153 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,679 Speaker 3: wear that thing. I think she was looking for reaction. 154 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 3: My response back was just awe, which is not how 155 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 3: I usually respond. Common three says divorce mom of two 156 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 3: boys here. I really don't think you have to really 157 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 3: worry much over your mother in law. Just make sure 158 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 3: you give an extra little attention to her. She is 159 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 3: feeling very insecure because not only is her long term 160 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 3: marriage gone, father in law moved on, and now she's 161 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 3: losing her son. We raised daughters and have best friends 162 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 3: for life. We raised sons to be good husbands to 163 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 3: their wives, and the embarrassment of not being able to 164 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 3: financially support anything, She's probably really feeling like she's losing 165 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 3: everything all over again. That tiny bit of extra energy 166 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 3: will pay off immensely with way more rewards than you 167 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 3: can imagine for years to come. Opie says, I do 168 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 3: try my best to include her in things. I've asked 169 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 3: her to be in charge of picking the mother's son dance. 170 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 3: I'm finding some pictures that I would like her to 171 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 3: take with her son the day of the wedding, just 172 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 3: to make her feel like she's actually included. Unfortunately, the 173 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 3: list of things that Mogg does for the wedding is slim. 174 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 3: I am blessed that my parents are taking care of things. 175 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 3: I do disagree with the fact she's losing her son. 176 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 3: I have made it crystal clear she will always be 177 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 3: as mom and I will have no part in what 178 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 3: my fiance says to her. I know he respects me 179 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 3: and my decisions. Well, I do agree she's probably reliving 180 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 3: a lot of emotions with the wedding. This is not 181 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 3: the time for her to hash out her emotions, as 182 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 3: it's raining on the happiness I am supposed to feel. 183 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 3: She openly discusses things with me, and in my honest opinion, 184 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 3: I should be the last person she discusses things with. 185 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 3: I give her what I am capable of, and if 186 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,079 Speaker 3: it's not enough for it's no longer my problem. And 187 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 3: there is a small update, folks. 188 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: Yeah this is smart, giving her a little bit extra 189 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: at tension. Yeah, but I feel loved. 190 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,319 Speaker 3: Just give her enough to keep her happy. 191 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: You gotta realize she's going through transitional time in her 192 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: life and. 193 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 3: She's being annoying. But it's not that I don't think 194 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 3: you can handle. 195 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 1: She's not handling it the best. You just gotta juggle 196 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: with it, roll with the punches. I'm not honestly moving 197 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: her down there with three I realize where she's coming from. 198 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna love on her some more. 199 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: I think she's middle ground because she could go either way. 200 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 4: I think this is just in law. Yeah, it seems 201 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 4: this is from what we've read before. 202 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 3: That's middle of the road. 203 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: To me. I give it a three because right now 204 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: I don't have to put love her a little bit 205 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: more and I don't have to physically do anything. 206 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 3: Actually, but there is a small update. Oh boy, we 207 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 3: had our couple's shower today. Mother in law and father 208 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 3: in law were very civil with each other, and she 209 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 3: met the new wife. Okay. See, she said she would 210 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 3: be civil, and she was. Everything was fine from what 211 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,599 Speaker 3: I'm told for the shirt. The next day, after she 212 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 3: sent the pick of the shirt, I casually dropped a 213 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 3: comment saying, Hey, people have been asking about the attire 214 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 3: for the shower, and I've just been telling them something 215 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 3: you would typically wear for church or a nice dinner somewhere. 216 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 3: She responded back, okay, and today she walked in with 217 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 3: a very classy top and pants. No mother of the 218 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 3: groom shirts. Overall, it was very classy party and I'm 219 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 3: very happy there wasn't any drama. 220 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: I just think she's hurt, expressing how she feels. 221 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 3: That was it, and there is another update. I feel 222 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 3: like it. We still have more than half of the 223 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 3: story to go, so I do imagine it probably will 224 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 3: get worse. 225 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 1: I don't know why, but I feel like mother in 226 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,719 Speaker 1: law is gonna be cool. Yeah, she's gonna be chill. 227 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: She's just hurt, she's expressing it. She's actually not gonna 228 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 1: do anything. 229 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 3: She's okay, we'll find out. 230 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: She's getting through this hard part of her life. 231 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 3: I hope. So Update two. At the couple shower, everything 232 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 3: was fine until it got to the point of opening gifts. 233 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 3: No mother in law, my fiance, and I did not 234 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 3: intend on opening gifts in front of people. We just 235 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,079 Speaker 3: wanted to celebrate everyone being together and open the gifts privately. 236 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 3: We started opening the gifts while everyone was conversing and mingling. However, 237 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 3: my future mother in law's mom and aunt decide why 238 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 3: did they were going to stand right next to us 239 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 3: the entire time. Well we opened gifts. They even started 240 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 3: dictating what gifts we open next. I have never in 241 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 3: my life seen some people act that way. What okay, okay, 242 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 3: that's the only one where I'm like people Every birthday 243 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,559 Speaker 3: I've been people have been like, open my next, open 244 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 3: nine nights. That's like super common. 245 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: I was at a baby shower recently. They were helping 246 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: the couple pick out gifts because they're the one the puples, 247 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 1: the ones opening them. Yeah, everyone else could. 248 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 3: Everyone else gets to pick. That's how my family has 249 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 3: always done it. It's been like, okay, open to my next. 250 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: Usually at my last birthday party, I was just handed 251 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: gifts and I opened them nets. 252 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, we all went, okay, Ley, take this one out. 253 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, don't see a problem. 254 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 4: I don't either, not quite yet. 255 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 3: They even started dictating what gifts we open next. I 256 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 3: have never in my life seen people act that way. 257 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: We've never been to a birthday party before or Christmas. 258 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that says they shouldn't have been opening them 259 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 3: in public. Then wait, what do you mean? 260 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: She says she didn't want to open them public, but 261 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: somehow it happened. I don't understand. 262 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, they shouldn't if they didn't want to know, but 263 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 3: I feel like it's pretty common. 264 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 4: I don't know. If I a gift, yeah, I would 265 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 4: want to see the ocean. 266 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,839 Speaker 3: I feel like that's like part of the you know, 267 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 3: fun of giving gifts. 268 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, Alex got me a water cooling thing from my 269 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. 270 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 3: I know it's a good gift. 271 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: Taking it to micro Center today. 272 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: My future mother in law decided to make a comment 273 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 3: to my fiance's dad by saying, can you believe these 274 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 3: kids are getting married just a few days before we 275 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 3: got married. This comment was made in front of my 276 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 3: future father in law's knew why oh wait yeah, no, 277 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,719 Speaker 3: wait no sorry, future mother in law does said this. 278 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 3: Can you believe these kids are getting married just a 279 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 3: few days before we got married? This comment was made 280 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 3: in front of my future father in law's new wife. 281 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 3: I have never wanted to crawl into a hole more 282 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 3: in my entire life. 283 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: It splits her up to a five. 284 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just tell it a five. Fast forward 285 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 3: a little bit later, my fiance's brother and his fiance 286 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 3: booked a wedding venue and didn't tell anyone because it 287 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 3: really was not a huge deal. My future mother in 288 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: law was livid at the fact she was not included 289 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 3: in this information. She put my fiance and his brother 290 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: in a group chat and basically called his brother out 291 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 3: for not giving information, as well as us for not 292 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: filling her in on our wedding. 293 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,719 Speaker 1: Details probably just fills left out. 294 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. I decided right then there, between the awful shirt 295 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 3: and the way she was talking to my fiance, that 296 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 3: she wouldn't be joining me when it came to finding 297 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 3: a wedding dress and it would only be me and 298 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 3: my mom do Previously, she asked if she could come 299 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,959 Speaker 3: along because she had never had any girls to get 300 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 3: this experience with. At first, I was very understanding and 301 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 3: wanted her to come with me. However, that completely changed things. 302 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 3: A month ago, my mom and I decided it was 303 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: time to find a wedding dress. He booked an appointment 304 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 3: at a shop and honestly didn't think we would find 305 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 3: the dress. You know. Of course, I did end up 306 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 3: finding my dress there, and I didn't tell anyone, including 307 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 3: future mother in law. I received a text two days 308 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 3: ago from my future mother in law asking if I 309 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 3: had found my wedding dress yet, and that the wedding 310 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 3: was coming up quick like I wasn't already aware, so 311 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,559 Speaker 3: I flat out told her that I did find one. 312 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 3: She texted me yesterday asking if she could drop by 313 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,319 Speaker 3: to give some things to my fiance while he was 314 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 3: at work, and I replied, back, shirt, she shows up 315 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 3: at my house with the things she wanted to give 316 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 3: to my fiance, and then we get to chatting. That 317 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 3: first it was innocent. Then she asks me, well, do 318 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 3: you have a picture of your dress? I told her 319 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 3: I do, but I was gonna let it be a 320 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 3: surprise for the wedding, which is literally two weeks away. 321 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 3: At this point, I said, the only people who know 322 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 3: what my dress looks like is my mom, dad, and grandmother, 323 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 3: who sadly can't make it to the wedding due to 324 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 3: health issues. She said she understood, and changed the subject 325 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 3: to the song her and my fiance's dad decided dance 326 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 3: to at their wedding Okay they are no longer married. 327 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 3: From the shower and dropping in appropriate comments in front 328 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 3: of my future father in law's new wife, to now 329 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 3: my wedding, she is basically wanting to reenact her wedding 330 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 3: at my wedding to get some sort of emotion out 331 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 3: of it. 332 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: She's so lost. 333 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 3: At this point, I told my fiance what happened, and 334 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 3: his exact words were, it's like she wants us to 335 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 3: reenact their wedding because she misses their marriage and I'm 336 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 3: not doing that. She then played me the song from 337 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 3: their wedding, which was atrocious, and I smiled and said, ah, 338 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 3: how sweet. Well, this is what me and my fiance 339 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 3: are doing. This was already settled a month ago, and 340 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 3: proceeded to play her a snippet of the song my 341 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 3: fiance and I will be dancing too. She smiled and 342 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 3: said it was sweet, and eventually she left. Then I 343 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 3: got a text from my fiance's brother's fiance saying our 344 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 3: future mother in law was going to her house, in 345 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 3: which I offered thoughts and prayers to her because she's 346 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 3: also planning a wedding. She texted me after a while 347 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 3: and said, I love the idea of you not showing 348 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 3: anyone your dress until the day off. I'm thinking of 349 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 3: doing that. I responded with, yeah, I want everyone to 350 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 3: be surprised. Typically, when something is bothering someone, especially women, 351 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 3: what is the first thing you do? You talk it 352 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 3: out with someone. If something doesn't bother you, what do 353 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 3: you do You don't talk about it with anyone because 354 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 3: it doesn't bother you that badly. So my future mother 355 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 3: in law proceeded to talk to my future sister in 356 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 3: law about the fact that I didn't show her my dress. 357 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 3: Because I wanted it to be a surprise. I know 358 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 3: she was livid about it because I know she wanted 359 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 3: to be there when I found my dress because that's 360 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 3: what she did with her ex's mom. I do not 361 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 3: feel like carrying that tradition because that's what she did. Okay, 362 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 3: I solely wanted my mom there and my mom alone 363 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 3: because she never got that experience with her mother. And 364 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 3: it was one of the best days ever. And there 365 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 3: is a third update. But do you have any other thoughts. 366 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. This mother in law is just gonna 367 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: be pissed at whatever. At this point. She's finding things 368 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: to be creating problems. 369 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 3: Now, yeah, I do think you know, she probably is 370 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 3: upset that she doesn't get to take you to the 371 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 3: wedding dress shopping because you agreed, but you you know, 372 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: didn't want her there for very valid reasons, and it 373 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 3: ended up being a very nice moment for you and 374 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 3: your mom. 375 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. I was rooting for the mother in law in 376 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: this story. I was hoping mm she'd come around. She 377 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: was just hurt, she misses her marriage, but her actions 378 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: would be Okay, now she's letting some things slip. I 379 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 1: just think she needs a good group of friends to 380 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 1: hang out with. 381 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, she needs that. Like all these things over father 382 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 3: in law. 383 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, like literally all these things. And reasons why this 384 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: is happening is because she's having expectations of what she 385 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: thinks is gonna happen, and that's kind of what her 386 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: life's revolving around. She doesn't have anything outside of her life. 387 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: She's divorced. She's mourning that she's trying to be there 388 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: for her two sons that like, you know, financially she 389 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,920 Speaker 1: can't be there, so she's trying to do her best physically, 390 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: and it seems like she's kind of missing some things. 391 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm still rooting for. 392 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 3: Rude are We're all rooting for you. But there is 393 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 3: an update. Now that the wedding and honeymoon are over, 394 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 3: I can finally give everyone an updates. They want some 395 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 3: popcorn and something stronger because it's gonna be a doozy. 396 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 4: No. 397 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 3: First things First, to the people who have previously commented 398 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,199 Speaker 3: to give my mother in law a chance show us 399 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 3: apart for her be kinder to included more, you were 400 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 3: also wrong thing nor. 401 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 1: No okay, okay, okay, look, look you can't blame me 402 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: for trying to want to help someone out. 403 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, you were just thinking the best of her. 404 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,119 Speaker 1: I don't want to see a naffing comment about how 405 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: wrong I was because I didn't know the end of 406 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,159 Speaker 1: the story. I don't want to see it. 407 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 3: He doesn't want to see it. 408 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,159 Speaker 1: I'm ready, Wait, he's ready. Now. 409 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 3: I know this woman better read anyone. Oh you said I'm. 410 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: Ready, I said, wait, I'm ready now. 411 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 3: Oh okay, Sorry. I know this woman better than anyone, 412 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 3: and I know her intentions were directed at me and 413 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 3: stepmother in law in a negative way. She proved that 414 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 3: during the whole weekend. To start the weekend before we 415 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 3: got married, my husband and I received a text and 416 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 3: a group message from mother in law saying, last week 417 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 3: for the single life. Then it's officially I do Oh 418 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 3: he's not single. I know she is from an older 419 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 3: generation where that was the phrase, but it still irked 420 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 3: me because what exactly have I been the past five 421 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 3: and a half years I've been with your son? Definitely 422 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 3: not single. Now it's Friday rehearsal dinner day when mother 423 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,680 Speaker 3: in law arrives that morning, she sent my husband and 424 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 3: father in law a picture of her wearing the shirt 425 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 3: the one that says mother of the groom. I left 426 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,359 Speaker 3: him first. I'm irritated, but I'm not about to let 427 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 3: it ruin anything. We all arrive at the venue for 428 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 3: the rehearsal and I was mingling with some family members 429 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 3: before it started. They finally show up and guess what 430 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 3: she's wearing. No, a white bassed dress with small pink flowers. 431 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 3: Not a white dress. Mother in law? 432 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,439 Speaker 4: Oh, mother, y guys, guys, it's cream. 433 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 3: No, and have pink flowers on it. 434 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 1: It's white based. It's like that you see her shirt. 435 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,639 Speaker 1: It's white, it's white based. It's kind of cream. You 436 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: are a tin now, mother in law, Yeah, you have 437 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: a couple numbers graduated to a tin. That's the worst 438 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 1: absolute thing you can do at a wedding. Dead move horrible. 439 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 3: I immediately walk away to my parents and do some 440 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 3: deep breathing because it's literally just the rehearsal and I 441 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 3: don't need to let her room my day. While I 442 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 3: was over there, the wedding coordinator was introducing herself to 443 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: my husband, and my mother in law inrupted their conversation 444 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 3: and said, I'm mother in law's name, I'm the mother 445 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 3: of Opie's husband, directly in front of stepmother in law 446 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,439 Speaker 3: and father in law. My future sister in law informed 447 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 3: me of this after the fact. We've finished the rehearsal 448 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 3: and headed to the dinner where we are told we're 449 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 3: to sit. There weren't many places to sit anyways. While 450 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 3: we were at dinner, one of my bridesmaid's girlfriend arrives 451 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 3: and brings a bottle of champagne, which was not expected. 452 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 3: We finished dinner and decide at that moment to do 453 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,919 Speaker 3: a champagne toast with the one bottle of champagne. Clearly 454 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 3: we only add enough for maybe half the people. Yeah, 455 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,919 Speaker 3: I know it looks bad, but again it wasn't planned 456 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 3: until right then and there. We take pictures and wrap 457 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 3: up dinner and start saying our goodbyes to everyone, when 458 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 3: all of the sudden, mother in law pulls my husband 459 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 3: outside along with her too entourage. At the window and 460 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 3: see her bawling her eyes out will bear hugging him 461 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,639 Speaker 3: and then immediately leaving. I look around, thinking, oh, what 462 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 3: in the actual heck is her problem. It was a 463 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,400 Speaker 3: little rude to take him outside, but to only hug 464 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 3: him and not even say bye to me very rude. 465 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 3: I found out later she was upset because she wasn't 466 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 3: asked to participate in the champagne toast. No one asked 467 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,400 Speaker 3: to be in the toast. We were blindly handing out 468 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 3: glasses to everyone. I couldn't tell you who got a 469 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 3: glass and who didn't. She was also upset we sat 470 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 3: where we did. However, she was the first one to 471 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 3: arrive for the dinner and choose her spot. 472 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: See all these little things I think she's trying to 473 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: point out and be upset about. 474 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's just making up things to be upset about. 475 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,440 Speaker 1: At this point, she was actually there for her son. Dude, 476 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 1: that was awesome. That was an awesome champagne toast. I'm 477 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 1: so glad like you guys sat there. You guys look 478 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: great together. You guys are doing great. Blah blah blah 479 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 1: blah blah. 480 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:57,359 Speaker 3: But no, she took the annoying way well, wearing her 481 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,880 Speaker 3: white based dress. Yeah tisk tists. 482 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:06,159 Speaker 1: Cream, you can go to hell. Why based. 483 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 2: It? 484 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,360 Speaker 3: Now, let's get into my favorite part of the whole 485 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 3: weekend wedding day. Everything was fine the morning up, got 486 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 3: ready with my girls, took pictures the whole nine yards. 487 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,880 Speaker 3: We arrived at the venue to start taking more pictures 488 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 3: and mother in law has not even arrived yet. My 489 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 3: husband and I did a first look and everything, and 490 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 3: she didn't even show up for that. She was given 491 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 3: a time to arrive and she was late. We had 492 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 3: to wait on her to take family pictures. And when 493 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 3: she arrived, y'all, when she arrived, she was wearing the 494 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 3: purest white bassed dress with pink flowers on it. 495 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: Oh she changed it. My god, she made it more white. 496 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 4: She made it more white, she made it more I 497 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 4: told you the original one was cream. 498 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 3: My bridesmaids immediately came up to me and walked me 499 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 3: away from the situation, which was good on them. After 500 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,360 Speaker 3: I calmed down, we went back to get her for pictures, 501 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 3: and I was as nice as I could possibly be 502 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 3: during that time. I managed to avoid her during the 503 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 3: rest of the time before the ceremony and let her 504 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 3: mingle with my family. The ceremony starts, and it's beautiful. 505 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 3: Then I see my husband walking mother in law down 506 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 3: the aisle, y'all. I find out later when he led 507 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 3: her to her seat, she tried to kiss him on 508 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 3: the mouth. The rest of the ceremony was wait what 509 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 3: her son? 510 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: What? 511 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 3: No husband? Sorry? 512 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay. 513 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 3: I'm so crazy. She tried to kiss her ex husband. 514 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: She's going through it right now, she's relapsing, whatever's happening. 515 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 3: The rest of the ceremony was fine, and cocktail hour begins. 516 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 3: We walked down the beach for more wedding pictures and 517 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 3: it's now time for the entrance to the reception. My 518 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 3: husband is nowhere to be found. Turns out mother in 519 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 3: law and her two entourage were holding him back to 520 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 3: have a conversation with him about what. I don't know. 521 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 3: At this point, my brother is running down the beach 522 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 3: to get him back for our entrance. I was furious 523 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 3: at this point, not necessarily at him, but a little 524 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 3: bit because we were on a time crunch. We finally 525 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 3: get to the reception and it was great. Our first 526 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 3: dance was great. The father daughter dance brought everyone to tears, 527 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 3: and ironically, once the mother son dance started, everyone kind 528 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 3: of started drinking and was ready to party. During the reception, 529 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 3: I needed just a little break from dancing and my 530 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 3: husband's grandmother comes up to me and starts showing me 531 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 3: pictures of mother in law and father in law's wedding 532 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 3: from thirty years ago. I looked at her and said 533 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 3: I need to go dance with my husband and walked 534 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 3: away so vast to the bar. The rest of the 535 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 3: night was beautiful and we had an amazing time. Some 536 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 3: of the people from the wedding came back to the 537 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 3: house we were staying in to keep partying, and my 538 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 3: future sister in law was one of them. We were 539 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 3: basically yelling with each other about mother in law's action, 540 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 3: and apparently mother in law said some things to future 541 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 3: sister in law like, hey, future sister in law, remember me, 542 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 3: I'm mother in law. Hello, leave me alone. Mother in 543 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 3: law just very obnoxiously because my future sister in law 544 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 3: hadn't had the chance to speak to her yet. We 545 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 3: all go to bed and wake up happily married and 546 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 3: start to pack for her honeymoon. 547 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: Yay, okay, we got there so acting kind of crazy. Yeah, 548 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 1: white dress over the top, but no cake was fallen. 549 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. No, didn't have to drag her out. 550 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 1: Didn't have to drag her out, No words. 551 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, my husband gets a text for mother in law 552 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 3: saying have fun in Jamaica since I'll never get the 553 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 3: chance to go. He responded with a very quick okay, 554 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 3: And we didn't speak to her for an entire week, 555 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 3: which was amazing. But there is a little bit left 556 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,919 Speaker 3: to the story. Any final thoughts. 557 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: At first, A few things. At first, I was rooting 558 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 1: for the mother in law. She wore cream than white based. Yeah, 559 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: she left. I want to apologize to Keion for telling 560 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 1: him to go to at double hockey six. Sorry. I 561 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 1: was in the heat of the moment and I actually 562 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,360 Speaker 1: feel bad about that name. Asking for your forgiveness gets 563 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,360 Speaker 1: me on the lips first, Okay. 564 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 3: All right, I guess you never get in that forgiveness. 565 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna give it to him nastually. 566 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 3: Okay, there is a little bit left to this story. 567 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:15,680 Speaker 1: It's just sorry, real quick. 568 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 3: I just I had hope that she would be better 569 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 3: than this. 570 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: She want to wear wine, dude, just don't. Why is 571 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: it so hard just don't wear white to a wedding. 572 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: I didn't even wear a white shirt to a wedding 573 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: because I was afraid that it would be too much, 574 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 1: or wear a blue one. 575 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 3: I think that men can wear white shirts. 576 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: You wear told me that that is such a sexist 577 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: world we live in. Men can wear white shirts, but 578 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: women can't wear white dresses. This is crazy. I'm done. 579 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 1: I can't the attire of weddings just confuse me all around. 580 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 1: Can you wear a hat? A man can wear a hat, 581 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: but a woman can't. 582 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 3: No Ah, nobody can wear hats. 583 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,239 Speaker 4: Do you want to wear a bra? 584 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 3: What about? 585 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 4: Do you want to wear a bra? 586 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: Anyway you thought about that? But what about a NewsCap hat? 587 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,959 Speaker 3: Sure, my dad, I let you wear a news cap. 588 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to wear it. I'm not old enough 589 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 1: to wear one of those. 590 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 3: So for those who once again think I'm the bad 591 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 3: person here for not giving her a chance, I tried to. 592 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,159 Speaker 3: After many attempts at trying to help her find a 593 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 3: dress to wear or de escalate certain situations, She'll make 594 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 3: herself the victim. She purposely wore white based dresses to 595 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,680 Speaker 3: both events on purpose and one hundred percent war that 596 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 3: shir to send to my husband and father in law 597 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,199 Speaker 3: to make sure they knew she was going to get 598 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 3: some kind of attention. I have spoken to her since 599 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,879 Speaker 3: the wedding, and it has been very brief. We haven't 600 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 3: spoken about the wedding yet, and I don't know that 601 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,399 Speaker 3: we will for the future babies if we decide to. 602 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 3: My husband and I are on the same page when 603 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,120 Speaker 3: it comes to her. There are boundaries we are both 604 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 3: seeing for when that time comes, and we will absolutely 605 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 3: not tolerate her crap. And that is the end of 606 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 3: that story. Folks, All right, yikes there, Yeah, don't tolerate it. 607 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 3: She's clearly causing problems. Yeah, we hope she wasn't going, 608 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 3: but she did. She did, and she disrespected what you 609 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 3: were trying to do. And you know, yeah, gave her 610 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 3: chances in the first half. 611 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 4: She got us. She she got Riley, for sure, she 612 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 4: short did. 613 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story. And we've got 614 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 3: another one coming right up. 615 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 1: My mother criticizes my parents inc well. 616 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 3: Maybe you should try it if you're so good. 617 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 1: I am a thirty three female living in the UK. 618 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 1: My mother is sixty seven female. We are extremely close 619 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,119 Speaker 1: up until a couple of weeks ago. I have two sons, 620 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: three and one, and my mother and father watched them 621 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: for me when I'm at work. When I'm not at work, 622 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 1: I spend or should say I spent a lot of 623 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 1: my time at my parents' house doing things with my mother. 624 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: By the ways, comes from Annoy Damas And if you 625 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: want some of your own stories, go to the r 626 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: slash ok stories. I'm suffered where this one's submitted, it's 627 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 1: one of our own babies. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and 628 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: I'm Keon, and we'll try to give her best advice. 629 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: But we have not experienced most of these situations ourselves, 630 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: so if you have, let us know your take in 631 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: the comments are okay. Op says, it's important to note 632 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: that my mother and I have very different views on parenting. 633 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: I believe in treating children with the same respect you 634 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: would an adult, and allowing children to express their feelings. 635 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 1: My older son can get physical when he's upset, and 636 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: being tired or hungry can exacerbate his emotions. I have 637 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: been working really hard with him on this. We try 638 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: to work with Sophia on this. I take him for 639 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: time outs and I talked to him about other strategies 640 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: to use and we practice them together. 641 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 4: We should do that with Sophia. 642 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 1: We really should. If you go to the quarter for 643 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: a second, I have a right, Sophia, that's enough. 644 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 4: That's enough. 645 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 1: Maybe you should eat more food before you come on 646 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: the stream. 647 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 3: I was vacuuming the entire house. 648 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 1: Please don't hit me. 649 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 4: Sounds like it sounds I should have time to eat. 650 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,720 Speaker 1: You're becoming very hormonal right now. 651 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 4: Oh no, don't say that. 652 00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: Calm down. 653 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 4: He's a woman doctor. 654 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: I know what words to prescribe to her. 655 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 4: How's your boyfriend? 656 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:06,120 Speaker 3: Did you get one? 657 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 4: Works every time? 658 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 1: No, it's gonna be six months until it actually works out. Y, 659 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:13,719 Speaker 1: it works every time. 660 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 4: Whatever. She's in a grumpy state or mind mindset. How's 661 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 4: your boyfriend? And she just looks like that. 662 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 1: She's not even hungry anymore. Yeah, she's like, what's who 663 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: you're thinking about? That? 664 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 3: Meat? 665 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: Slie ew grow ew. 666 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 3: That's great? 667 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 4: So how's your boyfriend? 668 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 1: So beautiful? Anyway, Hey, calm down, I've come. I take 669 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,800 Speaker 1: him for timeouts, and I talked to him about other 670 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 1: strategies to use. He's three, so he doesn't use the 671 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 1: strategies often or on his own. 672 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 3: Sometimes he's three so he doesn't quite understand the strategies 673 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 3: that we're trying to use. 674 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: Sometimes he screams and cries and it takes a while 675 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: for him to calm down. I usually take him to 676 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: her room and stay with him until he calms down 677 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 1: and we can talk about what happened. I let him 678 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 1: cry until he's ready. Sometimes it takes ten to twenty minutes. 679 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,040 Speaker 1: We have gone to the point where he can take 680 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: deep breaths once he starts to calm down, and his 681 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 1: tantrums have produced in time and frequency. It all started 682 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 1: on my younger son's birthday a couple of weeks ago. 683 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: My mother, myself, and my boys went out all to 684 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: eat together and went for a walk afterwards. We were 685 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 1: planning on going back to her house so the boys 686 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: can nap and we could play games. My youngest will nap, 687 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: but my oldest has recently been growing out of naps. 688 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: We will have nap one day and not the next. 689 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: When he does nap, we won't go to sleep until 690 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: nine or later, and it'll be rough. He will act 691 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 1: up when he gets tired, hitting, kicking, or throwing tantrums, 692 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: all normal toddler behavior. This has created a problem between 693 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: my mother and me because she doesn't agree with how 694 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 1: I handle his behavior. I've done a lot of research 695 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 1: on parenting, and I believe that children should be allowed 696 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: to have their feelings refused to scare a child into 697 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: not expressing them. We had talked about it previously and 698 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: decided that I would step in and handle behaviors so 699 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: she didn't have to On this particular day, I knew 700 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 1: he wouldn't want to nap, so I asked mom to 701 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: drive him around in my car while I put my 702 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: youngest down. She did for about ten minutes and he 703 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: fell asleep. When I went to transfer him to a bed, 704 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 1: he woke up. He was very upset and did not 705 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,360 Speaker 1: want to nap. I told him we were going to 706 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: lay down together for a few minutes and then we 707 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: could get up. He did not want an app anymore, 708 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 1: so he started crying and screaming. I tried to stay calm. 709 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: I knew it would pass when he was ready. I 710 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: sat on the bed and told him that I was 711 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 1: going to rest. My mom came in and tried to 712 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 1: get him to calm down, which did not work. He 713 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 1: needs time to get it all out, as we all do. Sometimes. 714 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 1: She left but stayed by the door. He opened the 715 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: door and she came in and picked him up. She 716 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,719 Speaker 1: laid him on the bed and started talking to him 717 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: in a very angry tone, saying, you better not wake 718 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: up your brother. In my opinion, his brother is not 719 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: his responsibility and he wasn't in a place to understand 720 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,479 Speaker 1: where she was coming from. That's when I picked him 721 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: up and told her I had hit handled. She promptly 722 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: responded to you, and I was taken a bit aback, 723 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: so I clapped back with, well, what you're doing is 724 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: really helping. Then she said this was happening way too 725 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: often and it needed to stop. 726 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 3: Is like a three year old having some tantrums. 727 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 4: You need a three year old? 728 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 3: Have you ever, mother? Did you forget about when your 729 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 3: child was a three year old? 730 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,240 Speaker 1: I hate it when other people are trying to parent 731 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: your own kids and it's like, dude, just yea, let 732 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: me figure this one out. 733 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, man, unless they're like hitting your kid or 734 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 3: you know, hitting you something where it's like you're not 735 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 3: parenting your child and someone's getting hurt or something like that. 736 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on there, involved Hey, it's Sean here. 737 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick 738 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 2: three minute break with asermar sponsors. 739 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: I'm assuming she was referring to my child feelings, like 740 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: his feelings were too much and she wanted them to stop. 741 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 1: I told her we'd leave, and we did. Later that day, 742 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 1: I texted her and apologized for escalating the situation and 743 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,879 Speaker 1: told her we would take a break from coming over 744 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 1: to her house. I also offered to answer any questions 745 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 1: she had about my reasoning behind the way I parented. 746 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: She responded saying that parenting was hard, and even she 747 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: questioned her own parenting. I felt like she had been 748 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 1: judging me the entire time we'd been hanging out, and 749 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,360 Speaker 1: she didn't just have a conversation with me about it. 750 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,439 Speaker 1: The next day, I did get an apology text where 751 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 1: she admitted that she had overstepped Oh night. 752 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 3: Okay, improvement nice. I like this, Yeah, this is good. 753 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:41,239 Speaker 3: This is good. 754 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 1: I told her. I appreciated the apology. My mom has 755 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: always been terrible at apologies. They usually start with I'm 756 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 1: sorry you feel that way, So for her not to 757 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: say that made me think her apology was genuine. Fast 758 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 1: forward a week, and I'm still upset. I can't quite 759 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,919 Speaker 1: figure out why, though. I had talked to my sister 760 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: about the situation, and she said she had to stop 761 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: hanging out with my mom when her kids were toddlers. 762 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 1: She also said my mom brought it up to her 763 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: and said, I told them my boys have to follow 764 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: my mom's rules at her house, but I don't make them. 765 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: Even my sister said it didn't sound like a rule thing. 766 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: I had my son's one year appointment and took both 767 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: my boys as my husband was sick. My old us 768 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 1: threw a tantrum while we were there. After the appointment, 769 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,440 Speaker 1: our pretty teachian told me she was impressed with how 770 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,760 Speaker 1: well I handled both my boys and how calm I stayed. 771 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,279 Speaker 1: I told this to my mom and I said it 772 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: was nice considering she doesn't agree with how I do things, 773 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,720 Speaker 1: and she said, we can agree to disagree. Okay, cool. 774 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,759 Speaker 1: I may have been rubbing it in a bit, but 775 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: it's also hard to feel like you're doing the right 776 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 1: thing when your mother is telling you you're not. We 777 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 1: went for a walk together to the next day, but 778 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: I didn't bring it up. The same weekend, my mother 779 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,719 Speaker 1: in law came to visit. I really off my mother 780 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: in law. We get along great and she's very sweet. 781 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,400 Speaker 1: We were at a family gathering when I spotted my 782 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 1: mom telling my mother in law story. My mother in 783 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,879 Speaker 1: law was looking straight at me, and then my mom 784 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: pointed at me and continued telling the story. I love 785 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: when people do that. What like they're like looking at 786 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 1: you and they're talking. Don't look at that person. Yeah, 787 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: Like Kean the other day, he was like really acting 788 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 1: weird and don't tell him that. 789 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,959 Speaker 4: Though I'm always acting weird. 790 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's strange. 791 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 4: It's like when none of y'all realized it was jelly Roll. 792 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,040 Speaker 3: I don't even know who jelly Roll is. 793 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 2: I know. 794 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 1: Too, I was like, oh. 795 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,760 Speaker 4: Shoot, and I just left the room colling person. 796 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, they all are. 797 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:47,120 Speaker 3: Everyone's tall, not I. No tall to you, Keon dang Man. 798 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 4: No, that's okay. 799 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 3: Oh whoa, he's gentle parenting, you know. Oh no, talk 800 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:53,719 Speaker 3: it out. I can't. 801 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:54,799 Speaker 4: I can't change my height. 802 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: You can't. And I love that about you. 803 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,280 Speaker 4: That's why I got good charisma, that's. 804 00:36:59,200 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 1: Right, and a great person. 805 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,839 Speaker 3: Eleven year olds have a crush two even year. 806 00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 4: Olds, but those one, no, it's two. 807 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: Oh, they're multiplying. At the end, my mother said enough 808 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,600 Speaker 1: is enough, and my mother in law politely agreed and 809 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: they stopped talking. I was pretty sure I knew what 810 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,880 Speaker 1: she was talking about. I didn't mention anything to my 811 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 1: mother in law about the fight between my mother and me, 812 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,160 Speaker 1: because why would I. Sylvia, what do you think they're 813 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:25,839 Speaker 1: talking about here? 814 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 3: I think that you gotta set more boundaries with your 815 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,320 Speaker 3: mom and say, hey, mom, I you know I know 816 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 3: that you're trying to be helpful, but this is my child. 817 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,240 Speaker 3: So if you can't, if you can't listen to our boundaries, 818 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:39,399 Speaker 3: then you can't be around the kids. 819 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:44,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. Information diet, Yeah, hanging out diet. I think that's smart. Like, hey, 820 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,360 Speaker 1: we're not going to come around for a little bit. 821 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, you clearly don't like having my kids over. 822 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,919 Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah you think his emotions are too much. 823 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:56,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll just stop. I'll just not bring my kid over. 824 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,800 Speaker 1: Hop on the band and we got Carly getting on 825 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: the on for not getting me so soup. 826 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,400 Speaker 3: Dude, I want me so soup so much, Carly, I 827 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:06,319 Speaker 3: want me so soup. 828 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 4: Then why don't you date her and take her? 829 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go get me so soup. 830 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:10,680 Speaker 1: You can take her. 831 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,959 Speaker 4: Then you get danger, Well, I want me so soup. 832 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 1: No you haven't actually, so the end the story. The 833 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,920 Speaker 1: next morning, I decided to ask my mother in law 834 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: about the story Mama was telling her. She said she 835 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,399 Speaker 1: couldn't remember, and I gave her the details I heard 836 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: and saw. She said she couldn't remember. Then I asked 837 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: her it was about my son. She said no. I 838 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 1: didn't ask if she really didn't remember or if she 839 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,160 Speaker 1: was just trying not to get in the middle of it. 840 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 1: She stayed quiet, which gave me my answer. Now I'm 841 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 1: not sure what to do. My mother seems like she 842 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: doesn't want to talk about things, which is very normal 843 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,359 Speaker 1: for her. But I can't get over things until I've 844 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,600 Speaker 1: talked about them. I'm currently being polite to her when 845 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,919 Speaker 1: she reaches out, but I have no intention of hanging 846 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,160 Speaker 1: out with her. She does watch my boys for me 847 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,279 Speaker 1: twice a week, but my husband drops them off and 848 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,840 Speaker 1: picks them up, so I will not see her on 849 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 1: nless it's arranged. Advice. Please, we have some comments. What 850 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 1: are our comments here? 851 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 3: What are your comments? I've already said my comments. I've 852 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,839 Speaker 3: already said my comments. I don't have anything else to say. 853 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,520 Speaker 1: Seems like the ball is in your mom's court. If 854 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 1: you're okay with not talking to her, don't talk to 855 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,359 Speaker 1: her until she's ready. If you really want to talk 856 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,400 Speaker 1: to her, spike the bullet, reach out. 857 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:21,239 Speaker 3: We talk. 858 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 1: I don't like you know, Let's have it all out. 859 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: Talk to me like an a hole? Okay, what do 860 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:27,960 Speaker 1: you not like about my parenting? 861 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:28,239 Speaker 3: Saw? 862 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: What do you not what do you not see? An op? 863 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,359 Speaker 1: I know you know what's happening. And I know you're 864 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 1: you're able to confirm with all your researcher you have 865 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 1: of why you're doing the things that you're doing, and 866 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 1: she might just think of it like an old traditional style, like, oh, 867 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,120 Speaker 1: this is how things should be old, how this that was? 868 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,160 Speaker 1: If you and she's probably afraid to see some reasoning there, 869 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:47,719 Speaker 1: package it up and send it to her. 870 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, just have it out. I think you could have 871 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,440 Speaker 3: a comment, you could have a conversation. But yeah, she 872 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 3: definitely is me and little Anning. 873 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: Yep. 874 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 3: I tried to limit my grandmother's access to my life, 875 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:00,520 Speaker 3: but it back fired. 876 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,839 Speaker 1: Seems like she did one information diet. 877 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,840 Speaker 3: And this comes directly from the r slash. Okay, storytime 878 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 3: subpard it. Oh, this is likely going to be a 879 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,240 Speaker 3: long one, but I'll try to keep it as concise 880 00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 3: as possible. I thirty three female, and my husband, thirty 881 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 3: five male, are expecting our second child. 882 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,319 Speaker 1: Ye children, Yay. 883 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 3: It's been a long road to get here, but today 884 00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 3: I might have f'd up. Uh oh am I the 885 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,080 Speaker 3: ale and what do I do now? By the way, 886 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,080 Speaker 3: this comes from Last Faithfulness four three four And if 887 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 888 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,279 Speaker 3: r slash okay, storytime subpred it. 889 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley. 890 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 4: And I'm key On. And guys, they posted our photo 891 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,760 Speaker 4: from iHeart on e News sick. I'm gonna. 892 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,360 Speaker 1: Oh shit, we look really cute. 893 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 3: Send me a picture. The group ut. And we haven't 894 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 3: been through all of these situations ourselves. We only know 895 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,239 Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you would 896 00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,520 Speaker 3: do in the comments, so Op says, in order to 897 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 3: give you the full context of the story, I have 898 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,560 Speaker 3: to back up a few years. Growing up, my grandmother, 899 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,719 Speaker 3: seventy something female, was pretty involved in my childhood as 900 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,120 Speaker 3: far as I can remember. As I got older, I 901 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,320 Speaker 3: started to notice her animosity towards her ex husband, my 902 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,640 Speaker 3: grandfather and his wife, who I also call my grandma. 903 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,400 Speaker 3: They had been divorced since before I was born, and 904 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,040 Speaker 3: my grandpa remarried when I was maybe four or five, 905 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,600 Speaker 3: so I found this strange. As time had gone on, 906 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,560 Speaker 3: my grandmother has become increasingly distant from the entire family. 907 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 3: It started small, by claiming to be sick on days 908 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,120 Speaker 3: of events like birthday parties for my younger cousins and 909 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,520 Speaker 3: raging alternate times to see them. More recently, it got 910 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,920 Speaker 3: to a point where she's been skipping bigger events like 911 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,840 Speaker 3: weddings and graduations, and the family would genuinely be surprised 912 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,560 Speaker 3: to see her, even though she's always invited. What is 913 00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,839 Speaker 3: especially strange is that this family is incredibly tight knit, 914 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,160 Speaker 3: and she is slowly backed away like Homer Simpson backing 915 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,319 Speaker 3: through the bushes. This distance has also expanded to her 916 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,400 Speaker 3: amount of confer with the family. She often won't return 917 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,960 Speaker 3: calls or messages, and she is rarely the first to 918 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,800 Speaker 3: reach out. When she does reach out, if you respond, 919 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,839 Speaker 3: you typically don't get a response back. It's like she'll 920 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,840 Speaker 3: go through the motions to send a text on a 921 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,120 Speaker 3: special occasion, but doesn't want the effort of a conversation 922 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:17,320 Speaker 3: or real connection. 923 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 1: So kind of wants to be your grandma. Yeah, She's like, 924 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 1: I just want the title. And she seems like she's doing, like, legit, 925 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: the bare minimum to keep it. Yeah. 926 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 3: The one thing she will do is Facebook. Yeah, because 927 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:36,120 Speaker 3: that's just easy and fine, and she gets the public acknowledgment. 928 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 1: That she's a granted, and there's so many fun games 929 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 1: on Facebook, but not in a. 930 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,239 Speaker 3: Stage, genuinely connected sort of way, more like a look 931 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 3: at me, I'm such in a mathing gramma kind of way, 932 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 3: very performative, with no real connection. She will heart react, 933 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,000 Speaker 3: leave gift comments with no words, and take your pictures 934 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,600 Speaker 3: to post on her own page. My son is currently 935 00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,120 Speaker 3: her cover photo. She also posts about when I was 936 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,920 Speaker 3: in labor but couldn't be bothered to respond to a 937 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,400 Speaker 3: message I had sent you while I was laboring in 938 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,360 Speaker 3: a hospital. Thankfully, she took that post down at my 939 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,239 Speaker 3: mom's request. Speaking of my son, she met him once 940 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,759 Speaker 3: when he was a newborn. He's about to turn three. 941 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,560 Speaker 3: Her visit was unannounced and quite frankly, very awkward. The 942 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,520 Speaker 3: one thing I remember was her being passive aggressive about 943 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 3: my newborn baby using a pacifier. 944 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 1: Oh well, seems like I can't feed right now? What 945 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:23,880 Speaker 1: else am I supposed to do? 946 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,920 Speaker 3: Why A's so upset about the bestwyer? She yelled him 947 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 3: and said, oh his name. You don't need that, that's yucks. 948 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 3: He probably does need that because he's a baby. 949 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 1: Let the baby be. 950 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,840 Speaker 3: I remember thinking you never come around, couldn't even be 951 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,920 Speaker 3: bothered to send a card for the baby shower. But 952 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 3: now you're criticizing my parenting. That's yucks. Ever since that 953 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 3: visit almost three years ago, my grandmother has continued even 954 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:54,000 Speaker 3: less contact than before. She has never once reached out 955 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 3: to ask how my son is doing. She sends her 956 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,080 Speaker 3: performative Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas text about how much 957 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 3: she met the thoth is proud of us, YadA, YadA, YadA, 958 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,120 Speaker 3: but the second you respond and try to start a conversation, crickets. 959 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 3: She also went from living in the same city as 960 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 3: my uncles and younger cousins to moving out of state. Meanwhile, 961 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,400 Speaker 3: she's doing the most on Facebook caart, reacting every single post, 962 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,560 Speaker 3: making her gift comments, and stealing the pictures she wants 963 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,760 Speaker 3: to share for her own audience, who is blissfully unaware 964 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 3: of her absence. 965 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,439 Speaker 1: In some ways, this means more than actually being there. 966 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, in some ways this is actually so much better. 967 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,360 Speaker 3: And I don't think you realize that'llp you. 968 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 1: Get the presence of a grandma online and not in 969 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 1: real life. I think you don't understand what you have here. Yeah. 970 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,080 Speaker 3: Sometimes this is done with her profile. Sometimes this is 971 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,880 Speaker 3: done on her boyfriend's profile. There was also a second 972 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,400 Speaker 3: profile of hers that I had deleted because I was 973 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,360 Speaker 3: certain it was inactive. This will be important later on. 974 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,799 Speaker 3: One of the pictures she shared of my child. Her 975 00:44:55,840 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 3: boyfriend commented, saying, you're suching, amazing great Graham. I'm sorry, sorry, 976 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:02,440 Speaker 3: but my child doesn't even know who either of them are, 977 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,560 Speaker 3: which is by her doing. He's not going to remember 978 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,319 Speaker 3: a visit from when he was a newborn. This has 979 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 3: me feeling like her social media is nothing but performative 980 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 3: and she no longer has any real desire for connection. 981 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,279 Speaker 3: To make it really clear, I went through my phone 982 00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 3: recently to try to find the last time she and 983 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,399 Speaker 3: I had a real conversation. We haven't had a phone 984 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,640 Speaker 3: call in years, and the last time she reached out 985 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,560 Speaker 3: to me was a year and a half ago. She 986 00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 3: wished me a happy New Year. I tried to engage 987 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,640 Speaker 3: her in conversation and she never responded. She also never 988 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,319 Speaker 3: responded to a happy Birthday message I sent her later 989 00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,600 Speaker 3: in the year. What And as Porky pig One said, 990 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:51,560 Speaker 3: that's all, folks, that's how does he do it? That's 991 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:52,120 Speaker 3: all folks. 992 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:53,279 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. 993 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories. 994 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 4: But here's three of us ads from our sponsors that 995 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 4: keep the show alive. 996 00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,360 Speaker 3: Fast forward. Yesterday we had our first I have struggled 997 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,320 Speaker 3: with infertility and early miscarriages in the past, so I 998 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,239 Speaker 3: kept our news pretty quiet until we had confirmation that 999 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:11,480 Speaker 3: baby was healthy and viable. Few things the doctor wants 1000 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,600 Speaker 3: to keep an eye on this time around due to 1001 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,080 Speaker 3: the complications with the pregnancy and birth of our son, 1002 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 3: but nothing alarming at all. We got some ultrasound pictures 1003 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 3: to take home and we're happy as can be. When 1004 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,360 Speaker 3: I got home, some anxiety came about making an announcement. 1005 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:28,160 Speaker 3: I was excited to share our news, but I didn't 1006 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:33,560 Speaker 3: want my grandmother's performative energy interfering. I decided, after a 1007 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,200 Speaker 3: lot of consideration, to limit her and her boyfriend from 1008 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,880 Speaker 3: seeing the posts. Yeah, they just reposted, and they're like, 1009 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,399 Speaker 3: I'm so happy that I have another grandchild that I'm 1010 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:44,960 Speaker 3: gonna see every day. 1011 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,759 Speaker 1: Her likes are about to look slim because of that 1012 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 1: information diet you're getting there, Mm hmm. That and that's 1013 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,439 Speaker 1: what's up. So true. 1014 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,800 Speaker 3: I had already been living them from the other posts 1015 00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,120 Speaker 3: that felt more personal. It has helped me protect my 1016 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 3: peace with the situation lately. With support from my family, 1017 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 3: I drafted the post, created a couple cute images, tagged 1018 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,479 Speaker 3: my husband, and posted the comments and support came rolling 1019 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,200 Speaker 3: in from extended family, friends, and coworkers. I went to sleep, 1020 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,880 Speaker 3: feeling relieved that we were able to finally share this 1021 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,520 Speaker 3: news with the people who are present in our lives. 1022 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:22,040 Speaker 3: At one am, first trimester insomnia came like clockwork. I 1023 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,120 Speaker 3: checked my phone because what else do you do at 1024 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,920 Speaker 3: one am? And my heart sank. Remember that inactive second 1025 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,920 Speaker 3: profile I mentioned earlier, the one I deleted from my 1026 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,319 Speaker 3: friend's list, assuming it was a passed away profile. Well 1027 00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,759 Speaker 3: it was wrong. Not only is it active, but it 1028 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,000 Speaker 3: is apparently friends with my husband. There was a comment 1029 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:44,200 Speaker 3: that said so happy for UXX. I panicked. My lizard 1030 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,880 Speaker 3: brain came out in response to the abandonment trauma, and 1031 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,120 Speaker 3: I deleted the comment without even thinking about it. I 1032 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 3: should have just left it and pretended it got lost 1033 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,439 Speaker 3: in the sea of comments, but my snap judgment brain 1034 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,920 Speaker 3: was like, nope, let's stir the spot because now she's 1035 00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,359 Speaker 3: gonna see it's deleted. What do I do? I do nothing? 1036 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 3: Do I pretend I didn't even see it? It was 1037 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 3: one am and normal people would be sleeping. Do I 1038 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 3: reach out? Do I wait for her to reach out 1039 00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,560 Speaker 3: inevitably pissed? Do I give blatant honesty about why the 1040 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,480 Speaker 3: main profiles access is limited in the first place. Do 1041 00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 3: I even owe her the explanation. She has a tendency 1042 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,400 Speaker 3: to deliberately create distance, but then also react in a 1043 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,120 Speaker 3: really ugly way when she feels left out. For example, 1044 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,600 Speaker 3: it was a big deal when my grandpa, her ex husband, passed, 1045 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,920 Speaker 3: and she wasn't specifically named in the obituary. Can't do 1046 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:35,520 Speaker 3: much about that he's gone, so big drama from her ensued. 1047 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,879 Speaker 3: Then it really upset her that we all stayed close 1048 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,960 Speaker 3: with my grandpa's second wife, who I also call Grandma, 1049 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,319 Speaker 3: which I think is the catalyst that led to even 1050 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,439 Speaker 3: less contact than before. And I'm so on edge about 1051 00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,680 Speaker 3: that type of drama being even in the realm of 1052 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,759 Speaker 3: possibility surrounding this pregnancy. 1053 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,520 Speaker 1: And I think you have to keep as much peace 1054 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,160 Speaker 1: for this pregnancy. Yeah, cut it out completely. 1055 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:03,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, just stop responding her information diant She's already not there. 1056 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,520 Speaker 1: Yeah sure. Also she getting money off of these posts. 1057 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:10,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's monetized. I was so careful about drawing quiet boundaries, 1058 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,120 Speaker 3: and now I feel like it's blowing up in my face. 1059 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 3: Am I the agle? Am I overreacting? 1060 00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:16,720 Speaker 1: Help? 1061 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 3: And there is an update. But what do you think, dude? 1062 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,839 Speaker 1: You know what you gotta do this? Grandma just wants 1063 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 1: to be there virtually and not their physically. She'd made 1064 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,680 Speaker 1: her choice, she has and she continues to make it. 1065 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,000 Speaker 1: Just you know, people have consequences for their actions, and 1066 00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,440 Speaker 1: sometimes your actions are the consequences of others. 1067 00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,560 Speaker 3: And her consequences are that she can't see your kid 1068 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:40,560 Speaker 3: anymore or you. Thank you everyone for your responses. So far. 1069 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,400 Speaker 3: I thought I was overreacting, but it is validating to 1070 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,520 Speaker 3: see that many feel similarly to me about boundaries with 1071 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,840 Speaker 3: toxic absent family members. About an hour after I posted this, 1072 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,319 Speaker 3: Grandma went back on to her main account and art 1073 00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,560 Speaker 3: reacted to a couple of trivial posts I have made 1074 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,080 Speaker 3: over the last couple of weeks, including a silly meme 1075 00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,759 Speaker 3: about cheese. I realized this was more than likely an 1076 00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:03,080 Speaker 3: a time to get my attention, almost as if to say, 1077 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:05,879 Speaker 3: here's what I can see on one profile and here's 1078 00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 3: what I can see on the other. At this point, 1079 00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,839 Speaker 3: I opted to do nothing unless she reaches out. If 1080 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,080 Speaker 3: she reaches out, I will be direct and honest about 1081 00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,239 Speaker 3: the boundaries I've established and why If she doesn't then 1082 00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,040 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna go out of my way to announce 1083 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,880 Speaker 3: them to her. Sometime between now and the birth, I 1084 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,080 Speaker 3: will also make a point to block the old profile. 1085 00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,960 Speaker 3: Until then, I'm not gonna give any sort of attention 1086 00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,439 Speaker 3: to her Internet antics unless she goes way out of line. 1087 00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:35,319 Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story. Wow, dang, dang, dang. 1088 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,279 Speaker 3: I think that is the right move, Opie, and good 1089 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,640 Speaker 3: luck to Yeah, good luck I but that's also the 1090 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:42,760 Speaker 3: end of this episode. 1091 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,600 Speaker 1: Up now, Opie, real quick, let us know how it goes. 1092 00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:46,879 Speaker 1: And we want to see pictures of the baby. 1093 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,560 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is one of her own. Let us know. 1094 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,360 Speaker 1: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. 1095 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,680 Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.