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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on time. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is a strawberry letter subject he had

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Speaker 1: me fooled. Dear Stephen Shirley. I have been dating a

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Speaker 1: guy for a year, and he treats me really nice.

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Speaker 1: We live in a neighbor We live in neighboring states,

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Speaker 1: but we're less than an hour apart, so I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: consider it a long distance relationship. We see each other

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Speaker 1: a few times a week, and either I'm at his

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Speaker 1: house or he's at mine on the weekend. I assumed

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Speaker 1: we were in an exclusive, admitted relationship until recently. The

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Speaker 1: other day, he was trying to show me a picture

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Speaker 1: on his phone, and he mistakenly pulled up a picture

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Speaker 1: of another woman. He tried to quickly swipe pass picture.

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Speaker 1: Every man, you just did that. He tried quickly slipe

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Speaker 1: paths a picture, but he knew I had seen it.

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Speaker 1: I didn't make a fuss about the picture. I asked

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Speaker 1: him to delete it, and he did it. But seeing

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Speaker 1: the woman's picture on his phone made me wonder about

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Speaker 1: the nature of our relationship, so I asked him if

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Speaker 1: we were exclusive. His response broke my heart. He stated

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Speaker 1: that before he met me, he was in a very

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Speaker 1: serious relationship and had had a bad breakup. He said

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Speaker 1: he was not ready to be in another relationship right now.

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Speaker 1: Can you believe that I have met this man's entire

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Speaker 1: family and we all get along great. He had me fooled.

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Speaker 1: I will admit that I'm not ready to be married

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Speaker 1: right now, but I still want to date with a

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Speaker 1: purpose and not just be wasting time on this man.

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Speaker 1: So is the committed relationship title just to play on words.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to stop seeing this man, But I

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Speaker 1: did hear him loud and clear when he said he's

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Speaker 1: not ready. What should I do? Well? What should you do?

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Speaker 1: What do you want? I mean, really, what do you

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Speaker 1: want in this relationship or out of this relationship? You

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Speaker 1: said you don't want to get married right now. You

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Speaker 1: said you do want to date with a purpose. So

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Speaker 1: if that's what you want, you gotta let him know that.

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Speaker 1: But he's already told you, and you said you heard

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Speaker 1: him loudly and clearly that he's not ready to be

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Speaker 1: in a committed relationship. So you have to make the decision.

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Speaker 1: This is entirely up to you. You've been dating this

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Speaker 1: man for a whole year. Now again, what do you want.

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Speaker 1: If you don't want it to continue like this, you

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Speaker 1: have choices. You can either get out of the relationship

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Speaker 1: or you can just change some things in the way

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Speaker 1: you deal with him. If you're thinking it's a committed

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Speaker 1: relationship and it's not, uh, maybe you should start seeing

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Speaker 1: other people, or you know, or something like that. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you should really do what you want to do, but

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Speaker 1: first you need to find out what that is. You

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Speaker 1: say you don't want to be married, but you do

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Speaker 1: want to date with a purpose. He's not ready to

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Speaker 1: do either of those things. So maybe he's just not

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Speaker 1: the guy for you at this time. Steve, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I kind of see this a little bit differently here.

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Speaker 1: I have a different take because from the male perspective,

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Speaker 1: I can really kind of understand what this dude is saying. Um,

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Speaker 1: let's go over the letter a little bit here. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I've been dating this man for about a year. He's

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Speaker 1: really nice. We live in neighboring states, so you don't

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Speaker 1: consider long this relationship. You're at his house several times

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Speaker 1: a weekend. He's at your house several times a weekend.

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Speaker 1: You in mind he's at mine on the weekends. Here

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Speaker 1: we go, I assumed we were in an exclusive, committed relationship,

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Speaker 1: and toil recently the other day. Now, let's go over

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Speaker 1: this assume. What did they tell you all the time

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Speaker 1: about assuming? Assuming usually makes an ass out of you

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Speaker 1: and me. That's what assumed is. Now what has happened

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Speaker 1: is you've assumed. You spent a year. You could have

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Speaker 1: verbally got this cliff. You could have this conversation a

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Speaker 1: long time ago. You never bought it up. You assumed.

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Speaker 1: And till the other day, he was trying to show

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Speaker 1: me a picture on his phone and mistakenly pulling a

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Speaker 1: picture of another woman. God he when hemb as soon

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Speaker 1: as his thumb hit that, you felt for him. He blinked.

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Speaker 1: He took a heavy blink. He was trying to swipe.

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Speaker 1: He swiped past it, but his thumb was shaking. She

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Speaker 1: saw it. Now, after she saw the picture, and he

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Speaker 1: knew you saw it. You didn't make a fuss about it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: mature woman. I asked him to delete it, and he did,

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Speaker 1: no problem, Okay, I'm out. Yeah, let me take that

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Speaker 1: out because if that picture could have been a year old,

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Speaker 1: you never know, You just don't know. So he deleted

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Speaker 1: the picture, but it made me wonder about the nature

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Speaker 1: of our relationship, so I asked him if we were exclusive.

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Speaker 1: His response broke my heart. He stated that before he

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Speaker 1: met me, he was in a very serious relationship and

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Speaker 1: had a bad break up. Now, let me ask you

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Speaker 1: something you didn't You didn't know that a year. You

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Speaker 1: didn't know that he was in a serious relationship and

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Speaker 1: he had a bad breakup a year and this response

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Speaker 1: startled you. A year of assuming you were exclusive, you

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Speaker 1: didn't bring that up. Now he tells you for the

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Speaker 1: first time, he was in a serious relationship, had a

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Speaker 1: bad break up a year before. You didn't met his family.

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Speaker 1: I got all that, YadA, yadda yadda. That's good, but damn,

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Speaker 1: this is really kind of on you too. Now he

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Speaker 1: said he was not ready to be in another relationship

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Speaker 1: right now, serious, full blown, committed relationship. Then you try

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Speaker 1: to fix it. Then you go, can you believe that

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Speaker 1: you're young? Believe believe? The problem is, why are you

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Speaker 1: having a hard time believing? But if you had heard

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Speaker 1: this information a year ago, nine months ago, maybe you

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Speaker 1: would have made some other decisions. I met this man,

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Speaker 1: is in tip family. We get along grade. He had

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Speaker 1: me food, He didn't fool you. This man ain't fooled

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Speaker 1: you at all. This man ain't lied to you. This

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Speaker 1: man ain't deceived you. He didn't fool you. You aresumed.

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Speaker 1: Then after a year you asked him when you exclusive.

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Speaker 1: He said he was in a bad relationship a man, lady,

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Speaker 1: He didn't fool you. Stop saying this about him. You

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Speaker 1: trick yourself. I'll tell you why right after this. Trick yourself,

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Speaker 1: all right, trick all right, Steve. Come on, let's get

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Speaker 1: to part two of your response to today's Strawberry Letters

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Speaker 1: subject he had me fooled. Well, he didn't have you

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Speaker 1: fool You've been dating this man for a year. Treat

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Speaker 1: you really nice. You live in neighboring states, no more

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Speaker 1: than an hour part, so it's really not long dis relationship.

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Speaker 1: You need at his house and he at yours on

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Speaker 1: the weekends, all doing the week I assumed we were

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Speaker 1: an exclusive, committed relationship. I told you about assuming. You

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Speaker 1: should not have assumed. He's trying to show you a

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Speaker 1: picture on his phone, and he mistakenly pulled up a

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Speaker 1: picture of another woman. God God, I passed out for

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Speaker 1: a minute. Really yeah, I'm trying to jump off feeling

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Speaker 1: for him, you should have dropped that phone down a sewer.

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Speaker 1: He should, alright, So he tried to quickly swipe past

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Speaker 1: the picture, but he knew I had seen it. I

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Speaker 1: ain't making fuss about the peach. I asked him to

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Speaker 1: delete it, and he did. But seeing the woman's pitting

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Speaker 1: his phone, it kind of made you wonder. So I

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Speaker 1: asked him, were we exclusive after a year? A year?

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Speaker 1: His response broke a heart. He stated that before he

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Speaker 1: met me he was in a very serious relationship and

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Speaker 1: had a bad break up. How y'all just talking about

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Speaker 1: this after year? He said he was not ready for

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Speaker 1: another relationship right now? How y'all just talking about this

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Speaker 1: after year? Then you ask me, can you believe that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you ain't never talked about it, don't assume nothing

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Speaker 1: about a minute. You have every right to want to

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Speaker 1: know where your life is going. Ladies, and I have

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Speaker 1: told you this over and over and over. You have

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Speaker 1: the right to ask a man what is going on here?

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Speaker 1: He will tell you. Now he told you, and yes,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe that, but you can't believe it because

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Speaker 1: you assume something else. So now I have met this

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Speaker 1: man's in time family. We all get along great that

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Speaker 1: means he cares about you. He'd have took you to

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Speaker 1: meet his family. He had me fooled, No, he didn't.

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Speaker 1: You fooled yourself because all you you would have had

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Speaker 1: this conversation that you had just now. You could have

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Speaker 1: had this conversation eleven months ago, ten months ago, you

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Speaker 1: could have easily had that. Now here, here, go to park.

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Speaker 1: I will admit that I'm not ready to be married

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Speaker 1: right now. Okay, cool, So what you're tripping for? He

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Speaker 1: ain't ready. You ain't ready, but you'are having a good

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Speaker 1: time going and continue the relationship. He's not ready and

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Speaker 1: you're not ready. So now that you've been through that,

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Speaker 1: bone to the dog. But wants to date with purpose,

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Speaker 1: don't forget that. I'm gonna get to that. But I

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Speaker 1: still want to date with a purpose and not just

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Speaker 1: be wasting time on this man. Y'all are dating with

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Speaker 1: a purpose. You all have found each other. Neither one

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Speaker 1: of you are ready to be in a You don't

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Speaker 1: want to be married, He ain't ready to be in

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Speaker 1: no serious relationship. But y'all in something, ain't you getting

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Speaker 1: something out of it? And he getting something out of it?

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Speaker 1: Y'all in something? What y'all need to do is sit

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Speaker 1: down and define what it is you in because you're

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Speaker 1: in it now, you've been in it for a year.

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Speaker 1: You in something. Yeah, it's just y'all ain't got no time.

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Speaker 1: You ain't his fiance. You're too old to be a

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Speaker 1: girl friend, but right now you're his girlfriend. You're his

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Speaker 1: girl and y'all friends, and you'd have met his family.

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Speaker 1: You too old be somebody damn girlfriend. So you want

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Speaker 1: to date with a purpose. He dating with a purpose.

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Speaker 1: He getting what he wants. You're dating with a purpose.

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Speaker 1: You're getting what you want. It's just you assumed, you

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Speaker 1: assumed you want had more, but you just said you

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Speaker 1: ain't even ready for it. You said it, But I

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Speaker 1: still want to date with the person, not just be wasted.

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Speaker 1: So it's the committed in quotation. The committed relationship title

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Speaker 1: just a play on words. You never had this conversation

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Speaker 1: with the man until now committed relationship. He didn't say

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Speaker 1: he didn't want to be in a committed relationship. He

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Speaker 1: said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship.

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Speaker 1: That has a difference. You could be committed to somebody

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Speaker 1: and not be serious. Hello, what preach on it? I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just tell you you could be in a committed

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Speaker 1: relationship and not be sick thing s. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to stop seeing this man, but I do. Hear him

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Speaker 1: loud and clear when he said he's not ready, but

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Speaker 1: you said you wasn't ready. That's somebody lying, somebody lying

194
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Speaker 1: in this letter. He's not ready, you're not ready. Why

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Speaker 1: don't y'all make it work? Define your relationship, find out

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Speaker 1: what it is, and see if it will ever lead

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Speaker 1: to anything, what you could possibly do. But then guess what,

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Speaker 1: Since you heard him loud and clear, he may not

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Speaker 1: be ready for a serious relationship for a long time. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and let me explain something else to you. Deleting the

201
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Speaker 1: picture don't mean she gonna come out. I don't, I don't, don't.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell you boom. Somebody listened to me, just caused

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Speaker 1: the picture got deleted. Don't mean she gonne sometime in

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Speaker 1: the mind memory lingles. Sometimes you can shake it, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: shake it. I don't, I don't. I don't want to cry. Ye,

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Speaker 1: you gotta have a stick. I just told you. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to. You're gonna get your black ass. Put

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Speaker 1: out your check fister for just a second. I go

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Speaker 1: back to what I say. Come on, please let me sometime,

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Speaker 1: even without the picture. Yeah, there's a movie playing in

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Speaker 1: your mind. Movie sometime. Yeah, trying to start nothing, trying

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Speaker 1: to get some clarity. Yeah on what we have? Huh.

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Speaker 1: I spent the whole damn break telling the quad didn't

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Speaker 1: need him, and now we out of time. Yes, Steve,

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Speaker 1: you are still right. We gotta get out of here.

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Speaker 1: I beat damn better. We gotta go. Email us or Instagram.

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Speaker 1: That's your thoughts at my girls, Shirley on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show m