Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Thursday. It's Thursday.
Speaker 1: I'm a baby, I'm a widow baby. Um oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I don't even know where to begin. I'm still
Speaker 1: waking up. I just got up like fifteen minutes ago.
Speaker 1: I think I'm just I have not been able to
Speaker 1: sleep very well recently, because yesterday I only had four
Speaker 1: hours old the night before, and then last night I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this will be easy, and I just
Speaker 1: couldn't go to bed. I was up to four Uh No.
Speaker 1: I watched to Jonathan Amazing, the Amazing Jonathan documentaries you
Speaker 1: watch back to back. I guess one and a half
Speaker 1: because I gave one the second one and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, this is actual. So the first one is
Speaker 1: like a documentary that thinks it knows what it is
Speaker 1: at the at the start, and then it takes on
Speaker 1: a different life and it's on Hulu there, and I
Speaker 1: was like, why are there too? It annoys me that
Speaker 1: there's two. I remember comedian Steve Byrne. He did one
Speaker 1: of them, the one I didn't watch, or the one
Speaker 1: I only watched half of and he had asked me
Speaker 1: to like come on our show and promote it or
Speaker 1: something back then, and I was like, so last night,
Speaker 1: I'm scrambling to find the one he made, but then
Speaker 1: all I keep getting is this other one. And then
Speaker 1: it turns out it's a documentary about how there's two
Speaker 1: people making a documentary about him. Because as this guy's
Speaker 1: making a documentary about the Amazing Jonathan, suddenly he finds
Speaker 1: out that there's other people doing documentaries on him and everywhere,
Speaker 1: every like every couple of months, he's got a fourth crew,
Speaker 1: and it starts to become like he starts to kind
Speaker 1: of go insane because he's like, is this guy fucking
Speaker 1: with me? Is this a magic trick? Because if you
Speaker 1: don't know, Amazing Jonathan is like the guy who does magic,
Speaker 1: and he would, um, do you remember at least yes?
Speaker 1: And there's also another thing is that he was diagnosed
Speaker 1: he was going to die in a year, and then
Speaker 1: four years later he's still alive. And so the guy,
Speaker 1: I mean, spoiler alert, the guy ends up being like
Speaker 1: are you fucking with me? Like are you even dying?
Speaker 1: And he's like, how could you act? Like, according to
Speaker 1: Amazing Jonathan, it is not a joke that he's still alive,
Speaker 1: that he got a year to live. He's just like,
Speaker 1: I'm baffled by two. Like I'm confused as well. And um,
Speaker 1: he spoke s meth every day as vitamins and he
Speaker 1: gets the documentary he goes, you can't show me smoking
Speaker 1: meth on camera unless you do it too. And so
Speaker 1: then the documentary documentarian calls up like a law office
Speaker 1: and is like, what the revocations if I smoke meth
Speaker 1: one time on camera? Because my subject wants me to
Speaker 1: smoke it. I mean when he's like high office like,
Speaker 1: it's just like someone at the you know, front desk,
Speaker 1: They're like, I don't know, so because he keeps seeing
Speaker 1: meth and fetamine to make it seem more like drug
Speaker 1: like more like science or official you know, litical whatever
Speaker 1: the lawyer word is and judicial. And then the guy's
Speaker 1: like the guy at the front desk is like, wait,
Speaker 1: so he wants to smoke withth like he kind of
Speaker 1: like just get this right to it. And then they
Speaker 1: talk to the lawyer and she's like, um, I wouldn't,
Speaker 1: but just don't. Like he's like what if I have
Speaker 1: a black box over it? So he looks like he's
Speaker 1: just like smoking this black box and then they just
Speaker 1: cut the film because that's maybe that's a cure for whatever.
Speaker 1: I just tell you what happens. What do you mean,
Speaker 1: are you gonna see this? I've seen it. It's been
Speaker 1: a while. You saw this stop one of them? Which
Speaker 1: one did you see? The one where he smokes smoth
Speaker 1: all the time? I guess so, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I look at my phone. It was a long time ago, Andrew.
Speaker 1: It came out in two thousand nineteen. It is pretty
Speaker 1: amazing that I don't remember any of it, but it's
Speaker 1: amazing Andrew. I do remember him not dying at the end,
Speaker 1: and he was supposed to die like that. I do
Speaker 1: remember that. That's literally, like I would say, not even
Speaker 1: a big part of it. Do you remember that? So
Speaker 1: the amazing Jonathan he has this guy following him for
Speaker 1: on the documentary, and this guy's taking it very seriously.
Speaker 1: His named Ben Berman. And it also gets into the
Speaker 1: fact that Ben's mom died when he was young, and
Speaker 1: he kind of filmed his dad a lot as a kid.
Speaker 1: Not a lot, but there's like one scene where he's
Speaker 1: asking his dad about like his feelings about his mom dying.
Speaker 1: So he's kind of like they kind of set up
Speaker 1: the story like he's there's only one scene where he
Speaker 1: does it, but it seems like he was like always
Speaker 1: following around people talking about death, and so he in
Speaker 1: the end he kind of is like wait, because Amazing
Speaker 1: Anything was like, oh, so I'm I'm sucking up your
Speaker 1: documentary because I didn't die yet, so sorry Ben, And
Speaker 1: Ben's like, funck, am I like using this guy to die?
Speaker 1: Like is my film depending on him dying? And I'm
Speaker 1: mad about that? But he's really just mad about the
Speaker 1: fact that he's filming him and all these documentary crews
Speaker 1: are fulling filming him too, and Amazing Jonathan is like,
Speaker 1: but these are gonna be better, Ben, Sorry, yours is
Speaker 1: gonna come out second. These guys are gonna come out
Speaker 1: first because they're there. They made there from the same
Speaker 1: guy who made Man on Wire and Searching for Sugarman,
Speaker 1: and he's going on all these radio shows talking about, oh,
Speaker 1: this documentary crew is following him around. This guy that's
Speaker 1: filming me right now, he's a nobody. But these other guys,
Speaker 1: they're from searching for Sugarman, a Man on Wire. He
Speaker 1: does all these interviews and then Ben looks into it
Speaker 1: and he's like, the other documentary crew has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with that Searching for Sugarman guy. He's like a
Speaker 1: director in London. Who they who? They told those crew
Speaker 1: guys are fucking with him or or maybe Amazing Jonathan's
Speaker 1: fucking with him, but Amazing Jonathan's like, no, they told
Speaker 1: me they were with that guy and that he's just
Speaker 1: not involved because he's got other projects. And now he
Speaker 1: kind of just like you know, sends crews out on
Speaker 1: things he wants to do. So then he goes to
Speaker 1: London to talk to the guy that did Man and
Speaker 1: Wire and Searching for Sugar Man and he sits down
Speaker 1: with him and says, are you doing a documentary about
Speaker 1: the Maze Jonathan? And he's like no, and he's like okay,
Speaker 1: well um, and he goes, I've heard some things about
Speaker 1: like some people saying I was The thing is you
Speaker 1: can just say you're doing something and the guy at
Speaker 1: the top won't even be like no, you could. I
Speaker 1: could just say I'm in I'm in works on a
Speaker 1: movie with Spielberg. He's not firsthand involved, but his production
Speaker 1: company is doing. UM is really interested in me in
Speaker 1: there he's got. You know, it's lower levels of the network.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't know their names. But Spielberg, I'm doing a
Speaker 1: thing with great um it's it's a it's a movie
Speaker 1: about um my life. Oh it's amazing. Yea, my um my,
Speaker 1: my adolescence, just a year of my adolescence. I would
Speaker 1: love to see how he would frame that. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: you're going to His boys are on it. He's busy
Speaker 1: with other like et yeah, Rosen scene, Um, Jim mackwell, dude,
Speaker 1: you know Jim macwell, right. People always say Spielberg park.
Speaker 1: He put the I believe he was in charge of making.
Speaker 1: He took the little eggshell off when the dinosaur came out,
Speaker 1: and and he said the raptors, the raptors are actually
Speaker 1: smaller in real life, and he it was his decision,
Speaker 1: I think, to make. So he goes to this guy
Speaker 1: in London and he's like, is there a documentary about
Speaker 1: sucking amazing Donathan. He goes, now, I've heard rumblings, but like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not mine. And he goes, well, do you want one?
Speaker 1: Because I'm making one? Do you want to produce it?
Speaker 1: And the guys like and you wait, and then he
Speaker 1: goes to Amazing Jonathan, and Amazing Jonathan is in a
Speaker 1: wheelchair at this point. They've had a big falling out,
Speaker 1: and he goes to him and he's like, so you
Speaker 1: know that guy that you're doing a documentary with And
Speaker 1: he's like yeah. He's like, well he doesn't. You're not
Speaker 1: those guys that doesn't exist. He says, he has no
Speaker 1: idea what it is, but I pitched him ours and
Speaker 1: he's going to produce it. So now you are. So
Speaker 1: maybe that's all it takes. Maybe you gotta go to
Speaker 1: Spielberg with this adolescent story of when you were four
Speaker 1: to five? No, it's twenty seven. Oh it's delayed. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait do you think adolescens is four to five? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Ado Lessons, I thought his child like teenager childhood. Well
Speaker 1: the four to five is not well, I know that,
Speaker 1: but ad anything in your childhood? No, Ado Lessons, I
Speaker 1: would say is twelve to seventeen. No, uh, I thought
Speaker 1: it was like in the teens. Yeah, teen teens? Oh
Speaker 1: when did you sprout pubes? Like when did you turn
Speaker 1: into a man? When did your voice drop? And all
Speaker 1: that ship still waiting really to turn into a man?
Speaker 1: My voice drop? I was a very small boy. As
Speaker 1: you know, I was head shorter than anyone in my
Speaker 1: class by far. The picture is so funny, you guys,
Speaker 1: he is smaller than all the girls and he's standing
Speaker 1: with all the girls in the front row. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I look like any higher I wouldn't be in the photo.
Speaker 1: Someone goes, I put in a photo, like, why does
Speaker 1: this look like you're in a school in Australia in
Speaker 1: the fifties. That's true that and so I um so
Speaker 1: I wanted to the boy that like they got from
Speaker 1: the circus, like the Littlest Boy. Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 1: looked like Simon Birch. Do you remember that movie? Kind
Speaker 1: of he was a little little boy, a little little
Speaker 1: tiny boy. I was a very tiny little boy, and
Speaker 1: I I don't I was a cute kid. But I
Speaker 1: got to I want pubes. I wanted to fucking grow
Speaker 1: because all the girls are head taller than me, and
Speaker 1: I wanted pube so bad. I told you the story.
Speaker 1: I used to look for my pubes in the backyard
Speaker 1: because there was more sunlight, and I would fucking pray
Speaker 1: to realize that there could just you could just put
Speaker 1: a lamp on them and just use a light and
Speaker 1: I want the sun is stronger. This is before ring lights.
Speaker 1: You couldn't. This is a regular laymup. Wasn't doing a trick.
Speaker 1: And I went all the way out through the yard
Speaker 1: and my mom was watching the whole time. How do
Speaker 1: you know that? Because I looked over and she was
Speaker 1: in disbelief that her son is looking for pub I
Speaker 1: bet you anything. She didn't know you were looking for pube.
Speaker 1: She just thought you were probably looking at your penis
Speaker 1: and the light, trying to see if you could find No,
Speaker 1: she yelled out the window. Have they grown out? Know who?
Speaker 1: She didn't yet. Your mom would not probably think about pubes.
Speaker 1: If I saw a little boy pulling down his pants
Speaker 1: and looking at his penis area in the sun, I
Speaker 1: would just think he was looking at his penis to
Speaker 1: see if it was like there was something down there.
Speaker 1: I wanted cube so bad, and because the cool kids
Speaker 1: all had pubes, like you know, I've told you wanted
Speaker 1: to suck his own dick, who I helped by grabbing
Speaker 1: his legs. By sucking his dick while holding his legs,
Speaker 1: you're imagine, imagine it's your own mouth, I said. And
Speaker 1: then no, but I wanted pube because he was the
Speaker 1: cool everyone. It's cool, it's good. So Um, one time
Speaker 1: I was looking at my own dick in the mirror
Speaker 1: like before, like I think I might have just started
Speaker 1: to get pubed, but I was like hoping my dick
Speaker 1: grew to like like it came like a package. And
Speaker 1: this is the saddest story. I'm looking at my dick
Speaker 1: and like I'm not trying to fluff it at all,
Speaker 1: like it couldn't be any smaller, like at the time,
Speaker 1: and both my friends were in you remember them in
Speaker 1: the room. They were in the closet for no reason,
Speaker 1: like other than like I don't know what they were doing.
Speaker 1: Maybe they were doing something close. And so I'm just
Speaker 1: looking at my dick like a sad little ba know
Speaker 1: what great is this? No? No, several seventh grade, probably
Speaker 1: seventh grade or eighth grade. And they come out They're like,
Speaker 1: we were this cloth. It's not dissembarrassing because what we're
Speaker 1: seeing out here, dude, oh my god, it was so sad.
Speaker 1: Do you know those guys still? Um? Do I know them? Yes?
Speaker 1: I do. Wonder if the silver now he's silver now
Speaker 1: sober and his peoples are silver. He's the one that
Speaker 1: wrote me apologizing for all the anti Semitic stuff he did. Oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that someone did that. That's nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because he was in I guess a twelveth step program
Speaker 1: was you know, Drew Haden defending for all that. Well,
Speaker 1: he's the one that put the swastika in the driveway
Speaker 1: and lit it on fire. You know. I think so
Speaker 1: many times kids bully into ship like that and they
Speaker 1: don't know they're being asshole. They don't know how bad
Speaker 1: it is. It's nice that he and I think that
Speaker 1: they can also rewrite history and pretend that that didn't happen,
Speaker 1: and also the Holocaust, rewrite history. Never, there's nothing never.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean I think that they can also
Speaker 1: just go, oh, I didn't do that, especially even by
Speaker 1: the time you get so for him to be able
Speaker 1: to remember that, it definitely made At the time, you
Speaker 1: could tell he probably felt a little bit bad about
Speaker 1: it too. I'm sorry to stay with you because if
Speaker 1: you didn't really think anything of it. I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times bullies like forget. I mean, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to brag, but I was such a
Speaker 1: cute little kid and girls gave me attention. I got
Speaker 1: attention yeah, I think guys went after me. Did you
Speaker 1: think because the jew thing is easy when you're in
Speaker 1: an all Christian school. Yeah, that's the one thing that
Speaker 1: but you were so short too, they could have gone
Speaker 1: after that. You would think. That's how much I was
Speaker 1: really sure. Oh my god, they could just that's so
Speaker 1: frea sad it would you say response to it? I
Speaker 1: had to be creative, like I'd go after a kids acne,
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't be like you Christian, you know, because
Speaker 1: because the jew thing is so easy, because it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't pay money because you're a Jew. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't tip or whatever. You're cheap and you're a Jew.
Speaker 1: And jew is just such a strong word on its
Speaker 1: own that it got such a hard laugh on its own,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So then I would have
Speaker 1: to be like, you know, make fun of his way,
Speaker 1: make fun of his acne, make fun like specific things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was funny too, because I'd go to camp
Speaker 1: in the summer and that was all Jewish and they
Speaker 1: make fun of me for being short and having weird nipples.
Speaker 1: You're like, I can't just please your nipples. Is that
Speaker 1: where you get that? Or did you know the nipples thing.
Speaker 1: Actually nipples thing came from my brothers, to be honest, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's that get Yeah, you can't escape it, like yeah,
Speaker 1: you myself. I was trying to think of like the
Speaker 1: meanest things that were said to me as a kid,
Speaker 1: and it's always hurt my sister. It was always yeah
Speaker 1: because I didn't. I didn't. I mean I was called
Speaker 1: like a bitch and stuff and like a bucktooth beaver
Speaker 1: and stuff. But I would never say anything back because
Speaker 1: then they could just come up with something else that
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh fuck now, Like they would
Speaker 1: just keep going, like if I were you, if I had,
Speaker 1: if I had been you, I would have just taken it,
Speaker 1: because I would be scared. If I called a kid fat,
Speaker 1: they'd be like, well, also you're short and you're this,
Speaker 1: and then start going after my looks like I would
Speaker 1: be scared that it, you know, like the if they
Speaker 1: came up for me for one thing, it's not like
Speaker 1: they could stop there, and I would just be too scared.
Speaker 1: They would keep listing things and I would run out
Speaker 1: of things about them. And then the hard thing is
Speaker 1: if you're getting made fun of buck teeth, if you
Speaker 1: talk back your buck teeth. You have to, like you can't.
Speaker 1: But it was funny because, like like you said, like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's so brutal, but you get you get to a
Speaker 1: point when you get made fun of so much for
Speaker 1: something that you can't control where I think it made
Speaker 1: me funnier in a way because I would end up flipping.
Speaker 1: I would already say the joke about Jewish people before
Speaker 1: they could get to it. You know, you start making
Speaker 1: fun of yourself before anyone can say anything. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other day, I was wearing like a dress on
Speaker 1: set that I just looked. I felt like it looked
Speaker 1: like a little baby doll on a shelf. Like it
Speaker 1: was just a really short dress, but it was like
Speaker 1: poofy and like had big puffy sleep so it just
Speaker 1: looked like like a big T shirt on a little
Speaker 1: like a little rag doll. But it's really cute. But
Speaker 1: I just was like dying to make a joke about
Speaker 1: it before any of the Perfect Stranger Guys cast could
Speaker 1: say anything. But it was like on my mind the
Speaker 1: whole time of like I gotta make fun of this
Speaker 1: before any of them think that they can make fun
Speaker 1: of it ahead of me. Deep rooted did you do it?
Speaker 1: I didn't hear it. Now. I was gonna say something
Speaker 1: I had had a couple of lines with just never
Speaker 1: came because a lot of times it's like they're not
Speaker 1: thinking about me my fucking dress, like no one cares something.
Speaker 1: I want to sit down people after that and be like,
Speaker 1: what are you thinking about the dress? Were you looking
Speaker 1: at my shoes? Like like like you want to get
Speaker 1: into did you care about me at all? And that
Speaker 1: here's the thing. We do notice things. That's the problem
Speaker 1: as comedians or whatever a d D or whatever we are.
Speaker 1: We notice those things on other people sometimes and they
Speaker 1: don't see it on us. Yea, yeah, it's yeah. So
Speaker 1: it's a it's a great talent to be able to
Speaker 1: call out the things that because if you're a hack,
Speaker 1: then if you make fun of someone and they've already
Speaker 1: given you the thing that you're making fun of, your
Speaker 1: fucking hack, and then there's nothing worse than being someone
Speaker 1: who's un original and so yeah, you you you just
Speaker 1: constantly try to beat them to it. And a lot
Speaker 1: of these people are like, I wasn't thinking that. You
Speaker 1: don't need to say that, like it, um, I wasn't
Speaker 1: even thinking I was Jewish. So what would your brothers
Speaker 1: say at your nipples? We gotta go a break. We'll
Speaker 1: come back to find out. What did your brother say
Speaker 1: about your nipples? We're back, We're back. What did your
Speaker 1: brothers say? Do you remember like a moment specifically? It
Speaker 1: was like when we would swim in the pool and
Speaker 1: your nipples were different than there's. Because that's a bummer.
Speaker 1: Most kids look like like y'all have the same kind
Speaker 1: of bodies and stuff. Well, when you're like thirteen, you
Speaker 1: get guys get um fucking like nipple rocks like rocks,
Speaker 1: like it's calcium ruffier. But I just like, I guess
Speaker 1: compared to guys, puffy is so funny just calling him puffs,
Speaker 1: well puff chief puffs. No, I just like so. I
Speaker 1: would make them hard all the time before I got
Speaker 1: into pool, like before I would take my shirt. I
Speaker 1: still do it. I still if I'm gonna take my
Speaker 1: shirt off at the pool, I'll grab my nipples before
Speaker 1: I take my shirt off. But my nipples are in depth.
Speaker 1: I've showed you my nipples, do you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: they're cheetos, They're not puffs. Maybe I've grown into them.
Speaker 1: Maybe my nipples I just would never that sucks. I mean,
Speaker 1: I do know what you're talking about. That when guys
Speaker 1: do have that, it's it's a thing. Yeah, do you
Speaker 1: um it's gonna be like I'll make my nipples hard
Speaker 1: by myself in the shower. Do you know who when
Speaker 1: you see men with their shirts off, are you looking
Speaker 1: for other puffs they'll be? Is there anyone on Perfect Strangers?
Speaker 1: Alex Hornton from high school, and he was he was jacked.
Speaker 1: He had really tiny nipples, and I always thought if
Speaker 1: I had his nipples, I would my body would look
Speaker 1: so much better because my chest would look so much
Speaker 1: more jacked if I had his nipples. My nipples took
Speaker 1: away from my chess muscles. Right, Oh my, I mean
Speaker 1: I love that question of like what you have that
Speaker 1: you always like if I if it was just this,
Speaker 1: my life would be so different. I mean, there's must
Speaker 1: have been a girl's nipples that you saw in the
Speaker 1: locker room where you were like, nipples were not my
Speaker 1: thing though, you know, like everyone has their thing. I like,
Speaker 1: I like mine are good. I think that I'm probably
Speaker 1: an Alex Horton of sorts, you know, Like I gotta
Speaker 1: say I got pretty good nipples, I've never once been like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't like my nipples. I've seen worse nipples, way
Speaker 1: worse nipples in mine on men, and they're called like pepperoni,
Speaker 1: where they're like a weird orange. My color is nice.
Speaker 1: I have nice color for nipples. Um, yeah, so it
Speaker 1: could be it could always be worse. Also, if my
Speaker 1: nipples compared to a woman, my nipples are are are
Speaker 1: fine and day and like I should be worried if
Speaker 1: a woman thinks my nipples are puffy. But if they
Speaker 1: think my nipples are puffy, they're nipples are definitely puffy.
Speaker 1: Most women's nipples are puffier than mine, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So if you don't, I'm worried about what
Speaker 1: my brother thinks about my puffs. I gotta be worried
Speaker 1: due to what eight So they started saying that you
Speaker 1: had puffs like around an adolescence when they started coming through,
Speaker 1: and you just remember like being like, oh, Ship and
Speaker 1: your brothers did not have the same nipples. My little
Speaker 1: brother Dan has the smallest out of the three. And
Speaker 1: then my little brother has a like he looks like
Speaker 1: me and my brother mixed, and his nipples are right
Speaker 1: in between. I told you one time when I was
Speaker 1: taking a back with my sister, she saw my clatoral
Speaker 1: hood which is coming in more than hers, and she
Speaker 1: said to my mom NICKI as a penis. And I
Speaker 1: was fifth grade, but I wasn't like developing yet, like
Speaker 1: and by the way, like I don't look like but
Speaker 1: like there's I just have a normal I mean I
Speaker 1: watched a lot of poor and mysine is really basic. Um,
Speaker 1: but at the time it was, I mean, what could
Speaker 1: be more devastating than having a saying you have a
Speaker 1: penis when you're a girl in the bath with your sister.
Speaker 1: So it just went into like, okay, I'm well, I'm
Speaker 1: never gonna get naked around this girl again, and now
Speaker 1: it's always going to be. And I found a diary
Speaker 1: entry of like of mine from the diary from when
Speaker 1: You're Young, And no, it wasn't a diary, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It was a It was a note to Kurston that
Speaker 1: Kursen sent me and it was a picture of the
Speaker 1: note and I can't this is how close cursed and
Speaker 1: I were like I could tell her as that's why
Speaker 1: I thought it was a diary. I'm like, why would
Speaker 1: I write this down to someone? But there were like
Speaker 1: I remember it was a seventh grade and my mom
Speaker 1: was doing My sister was such a prat to me.
Speaker 1: She like saw my underwear and they had like ships,
Speaker 1: you know, like maybe a little ship and the linga
Speaker 1: ship like a ship shriek. You know, it's just a
Speaker 1: fucking kid. It was just it wasn't like a whole crowd,
Speaker 1: and she was like, you're just disgusting, Nikki, and my
Speaker 1: mom and her laughed at me, and I stowe in
Speaker 1: the note that my mom and her laughed, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't picture my mom ganging up. I'm sure my
Speaker 1: adolescent brain was just like everyone had laughed, and my
Speaker 1: mom was just like, Nikki, shut up, who cares everyone
Speaker 1: in the bat or something like yeah, yeah, yeah. But
Speaker 1: I was pointing and more like like my mom just
Speaker 1: being so cruel. It's like a movie when they it's
Speaker 1: like a real close zoom and like ha ha, and
Speaker 1: you just see people laughing at you and holding a martini.
Speaker 1: Like and I was just listening to a Hidden Brain
Speaker 1: podcast about memory and how like, you know, we all
Speaker 1: know that our memory is completely stew based on what
Speaker 1: really happened. So you wrote this to Kirsten. When is
Speaker 1: she right back? Oh no, I didn't. I didn't have
Speaker 1: like the correspondtory and put together in sequence. But um,
Speaker 1: because I don't. I have all the notes that they
Speaker 1: gave me. But mostly they my friends are better at
Speaker 1: like keeping things than I am, and so I have
Speaker 1: all my writing, but they have none of theirs because
Speaker 1: it was all went to me, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of nice that I got all my ship. Um,
Speaker 1: But I was listening to this podcast about memory, and
Speaker 1: it's it's so much worse than I thought in terms
Speaker 1: of what we remember and what we think happened. And
Speaker 1: you know how like when you see a picture of
Speaker 1: yourself in a photo album and you can suddenly like
Speaker 1: kind of be like, oh yeah, I do remember that
Speaker 1: birthday party or that thing, like you can almost even
Speaker 1: though before you saw the picture it is not in
Speaker 1: your memory at all. You were too or whatever, Like
Speaker 1: when you know a question from Jeopardy and you're like,
Speaker 1: what how did that get in there? No, this is
Speaker 1: more like this is more like you if you've seen
Speaker 1: a picture or not pictures of an event that otherwise
Speaker 1: you probably would not remember, but you think you remember
Speaker 1: it because you've seen pictures of it. So that is
Speaker 1: a completely false memory that has been put back in
Speaker 1: your brain. It's not the same one that it's not
Speaker 1: from when you did that thing. It's a fake memory
Speaker 1: because they found that when researchers put people in photoshop
Speaker 1: in photos of events that they did not witness and
Speaker 1: asked them to look through the photos and then tell
Speaker 1: them about the events, they make up a story where
Speaker 1: they went, uh, in a hot air balloon and they've
Speaker 1: never been in a hot air balloon and because of
Speaker 1: the photo exists, and they go, oh, yeah, I do
Speaker 1: remember that. And I was trying to think of if
Speaker 1: I saw myself in a hot air balloon. I think
Speaker 1: it's true though, because I was thinking about it. If
Speaker 1: I saw myself in a hot air balloon as a kid,
Speaker 1: like just standing in one, like someone did a good
Speaker 1: enough photoshop, I would just go, I guess I forgot that,
Speaker 1: and I would make up the memory and I could
Speaker 1: probably come up with a memory that feels really real,
Speaker 1: and they I didn't. I originally started listening to podcast
Speaker 1: because I'm a nine eleven head and I was in
Speaker 1: a deep Reddit threat about um people on nine eleven
Speaker 1: don't really. They they found that people's nine eleven stories
Speaker 1: are completely fabricated, not like I was in Build Tower
Speaker 1: two and they were in fucking you know, cannetic you know, Nebraska,
Speaker 1: but um right, but not like the ones that are
Speaker 1: made up on purpose. But people really do think that
Speaker 1: different things like that. It was different times of day,
Speaker 1: Like there's certain things where you go, oh, there's this,
Speaker 1: there's this amazing Um, what's the Magellan effect for the Yes,
Speaker 1: Magellan effect is where you think every explorer's named Magellan.
Speaker 1: That's a common thing that happens on the show. There's
Speaker 1: a Mandela effect of um in South America. I gotta
Speaker 1: look up this up Mandela. It's so you guys, there's
Speaker 1: an a Mandela effect I found about on Reddit that
Speaker 1: I cannot but you know, the classic Mandela effects where
Speaker 1: you think something happened everyone in in in everyone you
Speaker 1: know is like, that's certainly a thing, and then you
Speaker 1: look back and it's like it's not classic. One is
Speaker 1: Berenstein Bears. It's not barren Stein Bears, it's burn Steain Bears,
Speaker 1: something like that. I don't know. Yes, I see what
Speaker 1: you're saying. So the Mandela fact was first going. In
Speaker 1: two thousand nine, she created a website to detail her
Speaker 1: observance of the phenomenon. Broom was at a conference This
Speaker 1: is a woman's name, talking with other people about how
Speaker 1: she remembered the tragedy of former South African president Nelson
Speaker 1: Mandela's death and a South African president in the nineteen eighties. However,
Speaker 1: Nelson Mandela did not die in the eighties in a prison.
Speaker 1: He passed away in two thousteen, and she began to
Speaker 1: talk to other people about her memories. She learned that
Speaker 1: she was not alone. Others people remembered seeing the news coverage. Okay,
Speaker 1: so notable examples are luke, I am your father. Um,
Speaker 1: people remember Darth Vader uttering the famously luke, I am
Speaker 1: your father. You might be surprised to learn that the
Speaker 1: line was actually no, I am your father, Mirror mirror
Speaker 1: on the wall, miror mirror on the wall. Who's the
Speaker 1: fairest of them all? You may be shocked to learn
Speaker 1: that the line was actually magic mirror on the wall,
Speaker 1: Oscar Meyer. Some people claim to remember the brand being
Speaker 1: spelled m e y e er instead of it's being
Speaker 1: spelled mayor, like John Mayer um Burns Berenstein Bears. People
Speaker 1: remember Barrenstein Bears, is they're not people remember that the
Speaker 1: name being barren Stein Bears spelled with an E instead
Speaker 1: of an A, and it's actually Bear barren Stain Bears. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's interesting that like that is that one's crazy? But
Speaker 1: there's one. What about Shazam? Do you remember Susam who's
Speaker 1: in Shazam? Uh Shaquille O'Neill. That's true. Um, people think
Speaker 1: Sinbad Chasam in the nineties he was in Jingle All
Speaker 1: the Way or some ship. Oh, I thought he was
Speaker 1: in like Kazam. There's one though, that is so insane
Speaker 1: that I could not believe. Oh that everyone's freaking out
Speaker 1: about Fruit of the Loom. Yeah, that one gets me.
Speaker 1: Do you know that one? I always thought it was fruitable.
Speaker 1: I think I put be in there somewhere. No, that's
Speaker 1: not it. For the Loom, do you remember? I don't
Speaker 1: think this would get you. I think you're I think
Speaker 1: you're misremembering. Okay, for to the Loom, do you remember
Speaker 1: what the the graphic looks like for Fruit of the
Speaker 1: Loom underwear? Do you remember what the icon is? It's
Speaker 1: like grapes or something. Yeah, Okay, do you remember corn ucopia?
Speaker 1: Do you know what that is? Do you know you
Speaker 1: don't know what a cornucopia is? Kind of No, what
Speaker 1: do you know? No, I haven't heard of that. It's
Speaker 1: a Um it's a cone like thing that like a
Speaker 1: basket that turns into a cone and then the fruit
Speaker 1: spills out. Yes, yes, did it have a cornucopia? I
Speaker 1: thought it has a basket. I thought a basket too.
Speaker 1: There's no basket. There's no cornycopia. There never has been,
Speaker 1: not fruit. People cannot believe it. And if you go,
Speaker 1: people have drawn images of what they think it looked
Speaker 1: like the Corney kobea and you look at the image
Speaker 1: and you go, oh my god, that's totally what it was.
Speaker 1: But it's just a rendering based on memory. It never existed.
Speaker 1: There's all these ones that are so good. Um, it's
Speaker 1: weird to me. The Mandela things sparked this kind of
Speaker 1: stuff because I felt, like John Madden he died this year.
Speaker 1: I thought he died fifteen years ago. Like, I get
Speaker 1: that one. I think it's like a different but I'm
Speaker 1: surprised that this sparked this for her. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you mean like she just thought
Speaker 1: Mandela died. Oh right, It would be one thing if
Speaker 1: you thought his name was like Mandela, not Mandela, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Um, does that make sense? Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I'm surprised that her thinking that guy died sparked
Speaker 1: looking into these things. There's some one in South America
Speaker 1: that I can't find, but people believe that when a
Speaker 1: big event happened, it was something like on It's like
Speaker 1: when I when I was watching when the O J. H.
Speaker 1: Simpson trial was happening, When the o J stuff was happening,
Speaker 1: they got into a obviously he was on that highway chase,
Speaker 1: and I remember sister sister being on and it was
Speaker 1: interrupted for sister sister. So that's my memory. I almost
Speaker 1: want to check the timeline to see if it could
Speaker 1: even be possible that sister sister was playing at the time,
Speaker 1: because that's the way I remember it. Because everyone in
Speaker 1: South America remember some big event like that interrupting a
Speaker 1: children's show that a bunch of kids were watching. I
Speaker 1: forget the event. I'm sorry that I can't. This is
Speaker 1: not but they all remember it or interrupted the children's show,
Speaker 1: and that was show was not on at that time,
Speaker 1: and so no one understands how that could possibly be.
Speaker 1: And that's like a game a telephone, like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like did one person have that memory
Speaker 1: and then yeah, they maybe went on TV and said
Speaker 1: I can't believe this, and then it kind of steam
Speaker 1: rolls from there. I have no you know what happens.
Speaker 1: I think the corny coopia thing, like I think for
Speaker 1: the Loom probably had a commercial where they had their
Speaker 1: low go on a lot and it was this fruit
Speaker 1: and it was all And then I think there was
Speaker 1: another commercial at the time that probably had a corn
Speaker 1: of copia with fruit and they just got mash in
Speaker 1: our brains and now no one can remember the other
Speaker 1: thing that was running at the time. It's like it's
Speaker 1: so much. But I just realized the other night listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast. I always think that I'm better than
Speaker 1: people who don't remember very well. Like I'm always like, actually, no,
Speaker 1: my memory is correct. You're all wrong. You I know that,
Speaker 1: I know that everyone susceptible of their memories being changed.
Speaker 1: But now I realized, like anything I think, yeah, or
Speaker 1: it's just a picture, I saw that the ourselves and
Speaker 1: then we go to therapy and then we tell these
Speaker 1: people and then they diagnosed us with like, but we
Speaker 1: could have had the whole memory. Like I've definitely brought
Speaker 1: up things to my parents and I don't know that's
Speaker 1: where it's gaslighting maybe on their part where they don't
Speaker 1: think they were as bad or and so that you
Speaker 1: know you remember when you did this and be like no.
Speaker 1: It's like when I told my dad, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't remember that many of my games, He's like,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? I went to all your game?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, who's right? Well the whole time? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't. Yeah. I can't believe you watch that documentary.
Speaker 1: It's it's wild. I don't think you watch so many
Speaker 1: things and you don't watch them. I can't think you
Speaker 1: can say you watch things that they're just on the background,
Speaker 1: in the background when you're watching TikTok golf videos. Do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah? But you know what,
Speaker 1: I have a pretty good memory, like especially things I hear,
Speaker 1: like I'm an audio auditory learner. But you can't multitask people.
Speaker 1: This is another thing everyone thinks their exception to it.
Speaker 1: Your brain literally cannot take in two different kinds of
Speaker 1: information at one time and actually give them the amount
Speaker 1: of attention needed to understand them. It's impossible. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: your hand can do one thing on the being over
Speaker 1: here and one thing on the like that's different. That's
Speaker 1: like you're not processing that information. You You cannot be
Speaker 1: on your phone and listen to something at the same
Speaker 1: time and pay attention to both. It's impossible. There was
Speaker 1: that episode of Luis though, where his daughter was on
Speaker 1: her phone while they were at like either like a
Speaker 1: show like you're shifting, you're doing a tennis match. But
Speaker 1: then he like talked to her about it and she
Speaker 1: remembered everything, and he's like, Oh, their generation is different
Speaker 1: because they can multitask because they've been doing a thing.
Speaker 1: Proves me wrong from what I remember a fictional story wrong. No,
Speaker 1: I know what you mat Oh man, if you didn't
Speaker 1: hear it here first, where did you hear it? Because
Speaker 1: boy would I be upset if you heard it somewhere else.
Speaker 1: It's Thursday, folks, you know what that means. It is Thursday.
Speaker 1: I hope you're having all the swells out there. It's
Speaker 1: pretty much the weekend. So go have fun, get naked,
Speaker 1: do some bad things, regret it on Sunday, and then
Speaker 1: get right back to Monday, all right, Chicago Police, do
Speaker 1: I hope people get naked with the shower this weekend? Like,
Speaker 1: that's what I think of when you go get naked
Speaker 1: and don't pinch your nipples, let him, let him a
Speaker 1: little loose in the shower, unless you're in there with
Speaker 1: someone else, and then fucking unless you're in there with
Speaker 1: your brother. Didn't didn't tighten them up? Or what was
Speaker 1: the guy with good nipples? What's his name? Yeah? Or
Speaker 1: if you're in there with great nipples, I mean wanting
Speaker 1: someone else's thing and thinking it's gonna change your life,
Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta go around Robin on that one
Speaker 1: and come up with ones. Chicago Police rescue eighty year
Speaker 1: old woman held hostage for seventeen hours by a naked
Speaker 1: intruder after her daughter raised the alarm because she hadn't
Speaker 1: sent the solution for the day's wardle So, but I
Speaker 1: understand the woman was asleep in bed when a mentally
Speaker 1: old man naked broke into her house and climbed into
Speaker 1: bed with her. Knew her, She knew her mom was
Speaker 1: in distress when she had not sent her word, or
Speaker 1: she did it on a regular basis, on a daily basis.
Speaker 1: So she was concerned, and so she thought her mom
Speaker 1: probably tied or something happened. So a crazy guy did
Speaker 1: the I do anything to the poor woman. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: he actually got the last He got the word on
Speaker 1: the fourth one for her. That what I heard. No.
Speaker 1: He then dragged her in his hour and then the
Speaker 1: bath before locking her in the basement bathroom with her
Speaker 1: eldest daughter in Seattle noticed that her mother was not responding.
Speaker 1: She called the police, and a standoff lasting several hours.
Speaker 1: The man was stunned and arrested, and Halt was rescued unharmed. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that that really does make me think about
Speaker 1: I get every single day. I get world results from Chris,
Speaker 1: and if I didn't get him, I feel like he
Speaker 1: was just mad at me or something. I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: check on as well being. I'd just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I guess I did something, or do I guess we're
Speaker 1: not He's being held up for eighteen hours by naked
Speaker 1: woman I'll kill Yeah, Yeah, I mean you know, I
Speaker 1: mean it's pretty It makes me to connect with people,
Speaker 1: you know that, like and I heard of this before,
Speaker 1: of like someone orders a pizza every day from the
Speaker 1: dominoes and then one day they don't and they do
Speaker 1: a wellness check because it's like, well, something must be
Speaker 1: up because this person I see them every day doing
Speaker 1: this thing. But word all is a great way. Like
Speaker 1: every I'm like, I'm back on I'm back in it too.
Speaker 1: And St. Louis, if you didn't show up, the girl
Speaker 1: here already knows. I know she knows you through your
Speaker 1: order through me. I was thinking about today and I
Speaker 1: think it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me
Speaker 1: because she doesn't seem to be annoyed with me, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this dumb ringo getting her fucking drink. She's like she
Speaker 1: she doesn't seem to hate me when she goes, are
Speaker 1: you NICKI like when she says that, and then people
Speaker 1: from the show I've been going to perfect Strangers go
Speaker 1: to get me a coffee. She has said to them,
Speaker 1: is this for Nicky? That's so cute? And isn't it
Speaker 1: funny that you get the same exact drink is me now,
Speaker 1: but it's the same drink completely different, so different. Don't
Speaker 1: you think that maybe that drink should be like you
Speaker 1: know what Taylor Swift at or like own Star Wars drink.
Speaker 1: It's a good drink, right, like, it's not just me. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is a venty extra hot because I drink things fast,
Speaker 1: so I need them extra I can't stand a cold thing.
Speaker 1: Um venty extra hot almond milk latte with two pump
Speaker 1: one pump in Mexico because the sugar free strip is
Speaker 1: a little strong here, but generally two pumps of sugar
Speaker 1: free vanilla. And then to Stevia. This was the thing
Speaker 1: I went to order for you. No almond milk. You
Speaker 1: don't want anything which you have almond milk here, I know,
Speaker 1: but it's not the same as theirs, and it's not
Speaker 1: it's not steamed, which gives it a frothy nous that
Speaker 1: I like. I mean, that's how that's like the we're
Speaker 1: very similar in a lot of ways. Well that's why
Speaker 1: that's why I am like, why do you like anything
Speaker 1: in particular? Like why don't you just get what you
Speaker 1: like instead of what I like? If nothing were matters
Speaker 1: to know, But I like that, right, But I'm fine
Speaker 1: with changing, right, right, that's the difference. You know, it's
Speaker 1: got to be my way or no way. But but
Speaker 1: you've had other drinks at Starbucks before that you've enjoyed, Yes,
Speaker 1: and you want the caffeine right like you do coffee black.
Speaker 1: I've seen you do that, yes this morning, because I'd
Speaker 1: rather just have a diet coke to get the coffee,
Speaker 1: because a lot of times I like or you have
Speaker 1: to get the caffeine. A lot of times I will
Speaker 1: do black coffee if it's like I'm cold on set.
Speaker 1: Some sometimes I want a coffee because I want the
Speaker 1: warmth of it um, and this morning I wasn't really
Speaker 1: dying for the warmth and iced coffee black is abhorrent
Speaker 1: to me. I would never do that, and and yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I will never and I don't want black coffee.
Speaker 1: If you can do Stevio but no milk, I will
Speaker 1: do a nice coffee with almond milk, with no um
Speaker 1: sweetener or with no like vanilla. But it's it's all
Speaker 1: fucking I just like it the way I like it.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not trying to give you sh it.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it's it's just entered. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: people out there that have before you met me, because
Speaker 1: I feel like so many of your tastes have now
Speaker 1: been hijack by well you eat healthier than me. So
Speaker 1: obviously you know you've taken probably some traits from me
Speaker 1: somehow that don't that don't involve food, But like, what
Speaker 1: the hell does that sound? I'm trying to think of
Speaker 1: traits I've taken from of you. I've made you more
Speaker 1: relaxed as a human, more silly. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's true. So you've taken some of my silliness and
Speaker 1: I've taken your Starbucks order. No, but if you eat healthier,
Speaker 1: like you get the vegan cream cheese, I do have
Speaker 1: like a lactose thing. Whenever I have fucking like cream
Speaker 1: cheese or like milk, regular milk, it sucks my belt?
Speaker 1: How do you not know about these things before I
Speaker 1: start doing them? Though? Like would if milk funk my
Speaker 1: belly up? I would just look into alternatives. But you
Speaker 1: just keep doing it until you go, oh, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: eating that thing. What is that like? Because you're a
Speaker 1: guy that just goes to the grocery store, will go
Speaker 1: down one aisle, and that's if you're in a hurry.
Speaker 1: I will go down every aisle to find the thing
Speaker 1: I want. You'll just go whatever you got is fine.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting to me, I don't know, I just don't.
Speaker 1: You just don't give a ship, but one aisle over
Speaker 1: there could be something better. See. That's what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about when it comes to like marriage and relationships. What
Speaker 1: if the better choice is one aisle away. And you
Speaker 1: know that meme where they always show a guy digging
Speaker 1: and they show him giving up right before, and it's like, um,
Speaker 1: it's showing a guy digging in the ground and there's
Speaker 1: like gold or something he's trying to get, or it's
Speaker 1: like you, no, no, no, there's like a big room
Speaker 1: with all like a crypt, you know, with all this
Speaker 1: golden sarcophic eye and stuff like that, and he's digging
Speaker 1: through and there's a long dig and then he's just
Speaker 1: tirelessly and then you just see him going like I
Speaker 1: can't anymore and there's just this much left to dig
Speaker 1: through and he would have gotten to the crypt, but
Speaker 1: instead he's going to give up because it's just been
Speaker 1: too long. I'm always thinking that there's going to be
Speaker 1: that room that I shouldn't settle for whatever I get,
Speaker 1: because there's always could be something better. Until I've gone
Speaker 1: to every aisle of the grocery store, especially a new
Speaker 1: one that I don't know where everything is, it's in
Speaker 1: a different country. I need to see every crevice to
Speaker 1: know that I'm getting the best thing that for me
Speaker 1: and that and that is why if I struggle with dating,
Speaker 1: is because or not even dating, because dating doesn't lock
Speaker 1: you in. It's not like you're like eating it yet
Speaker 1: getting married. Getting married, I feel like is until you've
Speaker 1: made sure that you've you have the best, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do it and how could you ever? No,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess even like a relationship where it's
Speaker 1: like you think it's all perfect, there is a possibility
Speaker 1: that somewhere around the world, or better there in India
Speaker 1: or China, because that's where most people are, but there's
Speaker 1: someone better out there for you, or someone as good.
Speaker 1: The odds that you met the best person for you
Speaker 1: just it's not possible. And especially given the history of
Speaker 1: humanity and everyone that's ever lived, there's definitely been people
Speaker 1: in other What's worse the unsettling, the unsettling of like
Speaker 1: of of trying to find that person for the whole
Speaker 1: your whole life and never finding them, and you put
Speaker 1: the things in your shopping cart until there's other things
Speaker 1: that are better and if those things that are better
Speaker 1: come along, you can dump the things in your shopping
Speaker 1: cart unless they stack up to it. Because that's how
Speaker 1: I feel about relationships. If if people are getting rid
Speaker 1: of their cart, like yeah, it happens, yes, yeah, And
Speaker 1: I'm not too to be like to take something less
Speaker 1: just in case, and then when something more, it's like,
Speaker 1: all right, you take the best you can get at
Speaker 1: all times. Like you know, if I'm on a road
Speaker 1: trip and I don't know what food options are going
Speaker 1: to be coming along, it's not time for lunch. It
Speaker 1: like you don't do this because you don't plan ahead.
Speaker 1: But like if I'm going on a road trip and
Speaker 1: we stop at a gas station, I don't know if
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a hundred miles of nothing ahead, but
Speaker 1: it's not time for lunch. Let's say it's eleven. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be hungry at one, but I don't know what's
Speaker 1: going to be around us at one. I will get
Speaker 1: something at eleven at that gas station that will suffice
Speaker 1: me at one o'clock if there's no other options, But
Speaker 1: I won't eat it until it's time to eat it,
Speaker 1: and I know that there's no other options. Why I'm
Speaker 1: eating the chicken salad sandwich at ever the fuck yes,
Speaker 1: and you won't plan ahead feet a little bit better
Speaker 1: about that, maybe probably because of you, but like just
Speaker 1: or growing up, just preparing, yeah, or like just you know,
Speaker 1: the other day, like yesterday on set of Perfect Strangers,
Speaker 1: they had a bunch of like sandwiches just sitting there
Speaker 1: at like eleven in the morning, and the old men
Speaker 1: probably would have taken down three of those and not
Speaker 1: even thought about it and then being like, all right,
Speaker 1: then I'll eat later at like five. I didn't need
Speaker 1: them because I was like, no, I don't want this.
Speaker 1: I just want this to fill me up. So instead
Speaker 1: I had a protein bar and then had a healthier lunch.
Speaker 1: That's like a big improvement for me to not just
Speaker 1: eat sandwiches. You're not saying sandwiches are that bad. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like it just wouldn't. It wasn't the food
Speaker 1: I wanted. Yes, waiting until it's the thing you want,
Speaker 1: it's all right, next story, But it also gets in
Speaker 1: my way for sure. Speaking of is oh eaight uh?
Speaker 1: A personal stylist recommends you never wear this one piece
Speaker 1: of clothing on a first date. Um, you're fucking Confederate
Speaker 1: flag bandana. Actually that's the only thing you should wear,
Speaker 1: That's what she says. A nude bra a white shirt.
Speaker 1: I would tell my clients to avoid anything that is
Speaker 1: fussy or difficult to clean or to keep clean. A
Speaker 1: great first day to outfit should be less about fashion
Speaker 1: and more about you. Because of that, you may want
Speaker 1: to skip extremely bright colors, patterns, puff sleeves, puff nipples,
Speaker 1: and over the top ruffles and ruffle nipples. This is
Speaker 1: also stupid. It's very dumb. I love these kinds of
Speaker 1: stories though, because they are I have got on you know,
Speaker 1: I went on a couple of dates, like over the summer,
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know with someone and it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, first dates, you know the person at all,
Speaker 1: like online meeting and like what to wear was such
Speaker 1: a conn I've never dealt with that of like usually
Speaker 1: I'm dating people that are I already know in my life,
Speaker 1: somewhat like thinking about, oh my god, is the first
Speaker 1: time they're seeing me. There was a lot of like
Speaker 1: I don't want to try too hard. I also want
Speaker 1: to look like really natural. I want to look think
Speaker 1: I'm not Like there's a lot of thoughts I mean
Speaker 1: I still remember what I wore. I mean it was
Speaker 1: a white tank top because it looked like sexy but casual,
Speaker 1: just playing white tank top, nothing over it. No, it
Speaker 1: was like a white like spaghetti strap with the spaghetti
Speaker 1: straps had like this like really cute like lacy kind
Speaker 1: of thing on it, so it was decorate. It was,
Speaker 1: you know, definitely cute. But I've never worn it again
Speaker 1: for some reason because I just didn't. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I looked, I looked great, but I definitely my hair
Speaker 1: I think was like kind of not even dry yet
Speaker 1: because I was doing like natural waves and I was
Speaker 1: just a little bit running later. I mean I was
Speaker 1: running my seven minutes late. I just there was a
Speaker 1: part of me that was, like I remember pursuing guys
Speaker 1: back in the day of like that I needed to
Speaker 1: look perfect for and be this like perfect image of
Speaker 1: what they wanted me to be, and I just I
Speaker 1: was even, yeah I I and now I'm just like okay,
Speaker 1: I can look. I want to look eighty percent as
Speaker 1: good as I could look. I want to leave a
Speaker 1: little bit to go. But bam, wait, look at this.
Speaker 1: That's smart. Yeah, that's really smart. Because we all dress
Speaker 1: as well as we can at what I do about
Speaker 1: on a daily basis. Oh yeah, I mean, look, I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I wear the same thing every day. But I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I I know you date, we would have so much
Speaker 1: more room though, make up, hair, to like do to
Speaker 1: look better. I were I wear like, Um, you're probably
Speaker 1: honestly right now, how much you would change if you
Speaker 1: were really trying on a date with a casual look.
Speaker 1: You probably wear that at You probably wear that. You're
Speaker 1: probably right now, dud, And this is you waking up
Speaker 1: so that yeah, right now, I'm I do have makeup on,
Speaker 1: and my hair is if I brushed it out, is
Speaker 1: probably good from last night. I would definitely wear this
Speaker 1: on a date. I'm probably at about right now, but
Speaker 1: my outfit is garbage. Yeah, I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: funny because for me, my a date, I'll wear like boots,
Speaker 1: like leather boots or whatever, and I never, you know me,
Speaker 1: I never wear I never, And I'll wear those on
Speaker 1: the front and that's like me, I'm gonna show off
Speaker 1: like wearing this regular like they're not even like boots
Speaker 1: that are like really gonna stand out differently on a date.
Speaker 1: I'll eat like like I'll go, I'll get dessert. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to say that, like I'm not usually a
Speaker 1: dessert person, but I'll like, I'll just be It's not
Speaker 1: even like I'm trying to be like I'm normal. I
Speaker 1: just like I just am on a date. It just
Speaker 1: becomes who I am, like this woman that presents as
Speaker 1: normal and it's not a it's just eating a cheeseburger. Honestly,
Speaker 1: the things I've eaten on dates, like the meals I've
Speaker 1: chosen where I'm like, I just want this. I'm just
Speaker 1: like I surprise myself. I'm like, it's just never something
Speaker 1: I would order with my friends, but I'm like craving
Speaker 1: different things. It's it's it's interesting I always ordered dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you always get dick and balls on the side. Wait,
Speaker 1: why why do you not? This is the problem though.
Speaker 1: If you don't eat exactly what you mean on that
Speaker 1: first date, when do you break out? Do whatever? Do
Speaker 1: I how do what I want to do? I'm just
Speaker 1: saying on date for on first dates, for some reason,
Speaker 1: I don't want my normal Like I definitely on a
Speaker 1: first date plan on kissing someone, and I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit nervous. I'm generally not as hungry, and when I'm
Speaker 1: not hungry, I know that I can eat like a
Speaker 1: smaller amount, and so I get something that's going to
Speaker 1: be filling in a smaller portion because I know that
Speaker 1: I just I'm gonna be sick if I eat if
Speaker 1: I eat too much. But generally I like hogging food
Speaker 1: and shoveling in my I love big amounts of food.
Speaker 1: If I'm not nervous, I'm eating tubs and tubs of food.
Speaker 1: So in that sense, I want something like lighter. And
Speaker 1: it's not because I'm like calories. I just know that
Speaker 1: I won't be able to eat voluminous amounts of food
Speaker 1: if it's really talking so much more on a first
Speaker 1: date than like like that's the most you speak to
Speaker 1: the person you're gonna do. I remember me and Brenna
Speaker 1: on our first day, we got like a hummus thing
Speaker 1: or like eggplant whatever, like there we you know, by
Speaker 1: the end of the day they're still hummus left. That's
Speaker 1: how you know how much we were like trying to live. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're nervous, trying to impress each other, having a great time,
Speaker 1: but if you know there's hummas left, it's probably you
Speaker 1: might actually if you're there and there's hummus left, and
Speaker 1: you're not doing this with your finger and scraping it
Speaker 1: off the plate. I'm not coming someone someone a lot
Speaker 1: of attention, like I cared a lot. Let's go to
Speaker 1: break and come back with our weekly sports moment. Co
Speaker 1: my sound excited? All right, it's a weekly sports moment.
Speaker 1: Tears Andrew's weekly sports Moment. I feel like it's been
Speaker 1: a long time since we've heard it, all right, I
Speaker 1: know the clock is ticking. Serena Williams, forty years old,
Speaker 1: said she's prepared for retirement from tennis and she wants
Speaker 1: more kids. Forty year old Stars has admitted he's been
Speaker 1: getting herself ready to step away her age twice already
Speaker 1: in this Yeah, yeah, that is true. I am prepared
Speaker 1: for today the first time journalist of course daily Mail.
Speaker 1: You know, at the end of the day, I think
Speaker 1: it's really important to always have a plan, and that's
Speaker 1: kind of what I did. I always had a plan.
Speaker 1: Serena has a four year old daughter, Olympia with her
Speaker 1: husband Alexis has a daughter's ages as a wealth of
Speaker 1: business venture D's age no interesting, interesting, Yeah, it is interesting.
Speaker 1: I guess he's not the main focus. But still, why
Speaker 1: is the daughter's age is there because she's depending how
Speaker 1: young a kid is, you have to pay more attention
Speaker 1: to him or something. Probably it's it's but yes, i'd
Speaker 1: see what you're saying. I don't think it's a thing
Speaker 1: about the girl, the daughter being a woman or anything.
Speaker 1: Has a wealth of business ventures aside from tennis career,
Speaker 1: and she admitted some times her pack schedule can be overwhelming. Again,
Speaker 1: she has a four year old daughter more to prove
Speaker 1: in tennis. I mean, I guess it would be cool
Speaker 1: as a forty something year old woman to like win,
Speaker 1: she has to prove. I mean, she's one more. I
Speaker 1: mean it's insane. Yeah, she can go do other things.
Speaker 1: And I think she she's someone who looks like she
Speaker 1: really enjoys being a mom. Yeah, I mean I think
Speaker 1: what you know, people keep living longer. I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: tennis tends to be a young persons sport. Like the
Speaker 1: fact that you know, I would say the average winner
Speaker 1: of most Grand Slams is probably like tops, So she's fifty,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, but they're you know,
Speaker 1: Federer is forty and he's still doing it. But you know,
Speaker 1: when do you quit. When do you just say it's
Speaker 1: hard all right, Like that's your whole that's who you are,
Speaker 1: that's what everyone values you as. Yeah, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: I was the amazing Jonathan thinking. He was like said,
Speaker 1: you know everyone, there comes an end for every one. Everyone.
Speaker 1: You gotta just you. You fall out of favor people,
Speaker 1: you're not as strong, you're not as good as you
Speaker 1: used to be. It will happen to all of us.
Speaker 1: At whatever we do for a living, We're gonna peak
Speaker 1: and then it's gonna People don't really get that much
Speaker 1: better at things when they start getting never being successful
Speaker 1: or quitting being very successful. I think they're both very
Speaker 1: hard times to quit, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: the idea of like, oh it can still happen and
Speaker 1: then stepping away. Yeah. Um. You gotta think though that
Speaker 1: most people don't become what they want. I know, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yea, including me a pop star, you know,
Speaker 1: like yeah, and I'm not playing professional baseball a lot
Speaker 1: of yeah, you just it's it's rare. You get your
Speaker 1: dream and walking away from it would be tough. But
Speaker 1: that just means you have to fulfill your life with
Speaker 1: other things because it's not about playing tennis, or it's
Speaker 1: not about doing stand up. It's about like how it
Speaker 1: makes you feel. It's about it gives you worth. And
Speaker 1: if you are able to have self worth without those
Speaker 1: things then or you know, when people are moms and
Speaker 1: all they are or moms and they don't know what
Speaker 1: else the funk they are without being a mom, and
Speaker 1: all their kids become self sufficient, that's when moms start
Speaker 1: going fucking crazy and begging you to have grandchildren so
Speaker 1: that they can keep it, keep it fucking up because
Speaker 1: they don't have anything else. They start playing tennis, they
Speaker 1: really do, but and then they become like the best
Speaker 1: at their club. But like, yeah, it's never reverse, it's
Speaker 1: never reversed. Never, Like I was a mom until I
Speaker 1: was forty, and then I became a Grand Slam tennis winner. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is hard to fill that gap. Um, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure I don't know. I mean, she she could
Speaker 1: play doubles until she's probably fifty five years old and
Speaker 1: still be competitive. These people even like tennis, they're good
Speaker 1: at it. I mean, I remember under Agassi in his book,
Speaker 1: he fucking hated tennis. It's just something these girls weren't
Speaker 1: they forced to play it at a young age. Do
Speaker 1: they actually like it? Um? I think they, I mean
Speaker 1: it got him to I don't know. I think the end,
Speaker 1: I'm sure they enjoy the game, but like they can
Speaker 1: still play. It's not like you're they're barred from playing it.
Speaker 1: They can still play it. They just can't compete anymore.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's competing. Is that still having a crowd?
Speaker 1: I would go, people would still go to see her play.
Speaker 1: It's the it's the you know, competing that people caring about,
Speaker 1: like if it's winning. The start of the article, though,
Speaker 1: it was interesting because it was her dad that was
Speaker 1: encouraging her to consider retirement. Oh wow, He's like, you're
Speaker 1: finally he's gonna start training her to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: He's like, you finally, you finally made it to where
Speaker 1: I thought you'd be twenties Grand Slams later. He's like
Speaker 1: you could quit now, yeah, Or he's just like, listen,
Speaker 1: you're not as good as I wanted you to be.
Speaker 1: It's never gonna happen for you. My god, I wanted
Speaker 1: you to win twenty Grand Slams. So it's really not
Speaker 1: even it's you should probably quite at this point yeah,
Speaker 1: you're never really going to live up to what I
Speaker 1: thought you were gonna be. Let's get the fans Rex
Speaker 1: all right, let's hear it. What is what of the
Speaker 1: best he's got to say this week? Okay, let's start
Speaker 1: off with a voicemail from Marla. In the podcast opening song,
Speaker 1: I swear I hear Nikki's name right before Noah says
Speaker 1: here's Nikky. And I always wondered if that was a
Speaker 1: little hand rip for us over if it's unintentional, And
Speaker 1: I really want to know if I'm the only one
Speaker 1: who hears it. Um, I've been wanting to message this
Speaker 1: for ages, but I hate my voice. And then I'm
Speaker 1: home with COVID, so I decided I don't care. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just ask because no one has So I love
Speaker 1: you guys. This is from Canada. Him Marla, so right
Speaker 1: before yeah, she has a great voice. I mean COVID
Speaker 1: helps it gives it a raspiness. But I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: you have COVID in Canada. Um. So she hears us
Speaker 1: say Nicky right before you say yeah. So it's just
Speaker 1: the Nicki Glazer podcast. And then I say, here's Nikki,
Speaker 1: but she hears Nicki right before it. Yeah, maybe NICKI
Speaker 1: doesn't did they say Nicki Glazer podcast very quietly and
Speaker 1: no one hears it on the Should we play it again? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna let's listen for Nicki. Right before
Speaker 1: Noah would say here's Nicki, so don't say here'st And
Speaker 1: that's what I would say. She's talking about that like
Speaker 1: high thing that's going nick no I, nick I think
Speaker 1: this is a Mandela. I think she's maybe maybe I maybe,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Marla, what did you hear it? Then?
Speaker 1: I'm really it would be weird if we had a
Speaker 1: secret message. I do say if you play backwards, it
Speaker 1: says Paul is dead, but that is that's not what
Speaker 1: she's talking about. Um, I don't know. I do love
Speaker 1: her using ham drip incorrectly, but also it's like the
Speaker 1: word funk. How you could use it in so many
Speaker 1: different ways. Oh, ham drip can be anything. Fashion Egg, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be a fashion Egg. Would have a great voice.
Speaker 1: Please call again with anything. I didn't listen to that voice.
Speaker 1: And I want to know, like where you really hear it,
Speaker 1: so if you can like specify and I want to
Speaker 1: shout out to our fan. Trex from I think last week.
Speaker 1: Who was it? I asked her she was in Missoula.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that girl? She had a beautiful voice,
Speaker 1: and I asked her please make an a SMR of
Speaker 1: her just talking. She sent me one she wrote on
Speaker 1: she wrote me on what's it called? Uh fuck um Instagram? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was like, hey, I know maybe you weren't serious,
Speaker 1: but it sounded like you were. And I decided to
Speaker 1: tell you about Missoula in a five minute thing. And
Speaker 1: I gave her my email and I'm looking for it
Speaker 1: now because it probably got sent to a little spammy mailbox.
Speaker 1: But I will be listening to that. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: that she did that. I'm so psyched I should listen
Speaker 1: to it last night when I couldn't sleep. But thank
Speaker 1: you for that. Okay. Next one is from Marnie Marlon
Speaker 1: Marnie love It, Nikki, Andrew and Noah, this is Marnie Um.
Speaker 1: I've called you guys before, and you told us about
Speaker 1: Marnie schlappy Um. But I wanted to call you guys
Speaker 1: and ask if you've heard the new song Gospel by
Speaker 1: Dr Dre and eminem Um. They rhyme full throttle and
Speaker 1: hit the bottle um. Just like Andrew. I think they
Speaker 1: were maybe listening to the pod and they played your eyes,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to give credit where credit was due.
Speaker 1: And if you haven't heard it, I'll sing it for you.
Speaker 1: It goes a little something like this, please yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, Dre, are you ready? Check check check check,
Speaker 1: And then a bunch of verses and then this ship.
Speaker 1: Here's that problem living at the bottom of the bottle
Speaker 1: throttle my mama. You guys gotta listen to it, Oh
Speaker 1: my God, and say I love you guys, love you.
Speaker 1: And I know I don't have an a s m
Speaker 1: R voice, but don't gospel by M and M and
Speaker 1: Dr Dre. All right, love you bye. From one not
Speaker 1: a SMR voice to another. You have a great voice
Speaker 1: and it's very uh. I'm not judging. I don't want
Speaker 1: anyone to not call in because you don't have an
Speaker 1: SMR voice. I think I started something here and I
Speaker 1: don't want anyone to be insecure about your voice. As
Speaker 1: someone who also hates to send their own voice when
Speaker 1: I hear it, just know that, like you, you're wrong
Speaker 1: about everyone thinks they hate their own voice. I'm a
Speaker 1: broadcaster and I hate my own voice, so you know,
Speaker 1: don't don't worry about it. But we I don't think
Speaker 1: there's anyone's voice that I hate so much that I
Speaker 1: would ask you to not call in. Um. She did
Speaker 1: a great job singing that song. I know she did.
Speaker 1: She I want to know does she listening to every
Speaker 1: like New dre eminem Drop. I guess that's the everyone's
Speaker 1: excited about the Super Bowl? Will they sing full throttle there?
Speaker 1: What's the song called again? Gospel? Gospel? How did you
Speaker 1: find it? Because it did send Maybe she was one
Speaker 1: of them. But yeah, a few people wrote me saying
Speaker 1: that I should sue dr full Throttle Bottle, and he says, Mama,
Speaker 1: I know, really, really, fuck dude, you're a genius. I did.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh Joe. Joe Lynn is uh the
Speaker 1: one who sent me the Missoula Montana five minute a
Speaker 1: SMR thing And I just found it, Joe, so thank
Speaker 1: you so much for sending that to me. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna play it, but I will be playing it tonight
Speaker 1: to or actually probably in an hour when I take
Speaker 1: a nap. Oh my god, I can't wait to hear
Speaker 1: about Missoula and Dulce tones of Joe Okay, we have
Speaker 1: a story from Ashley about her therapy session. Oh hey,
Speaker 1: Nikki and Andrew and Nellah, uh, this is Ashley. Um.
Speaker 1: I was calling because today I had a therapy appointment
Speaker 1: and um, I don't know. I thought that you guys
Speaker 1: might appreciate this, mainly Nikki UM, but I referenced uh
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift's All Too Well during my session today, talking
Speaker 1: about a guy who basically gas lit me and minimize
Speaker 1: what the context of our relationship was. And I was
Speaker 1: talking to my therapist and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: like that Taylor Swift song All Too Well, and she
Speaker 1: was like looking at me, like, what the hell are
Speaker 1: you talking about? You know, like the Jake Dylan Hall one. Anyways,
Speaker 1: there's this line where she's saying, you never you never, um,
Speaker 1: you never called it what it was, and uh that's
Speaker 1: how a heal right now. She just kind of looked
Speaker 1: at me blankly, and I was like, Oh, my gosh,
Speaker 1: this is my rock bottom. I don't know, but it's not.
Speaker 1: Maybe you guys would appreciate that so everything, but oh
Speaker 1: that's my favorite new lyric in that song. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: what was her name again? Ashley Swum Ashley that was
Speaker 1: my favorite um new lyric in that song. Uh, you
Speaker 1: were always skipping town and you were uh and I
Speaker 1: was thinking on the drive down anytime now you're gonna
Speaker 1: say it's love. You never called it what it was.
Speaker 1: It's so good. It's happened to me so many times
Speaker 1: to actually where you just these after the fact. It's
Speaker 1: easy for them to, you know, and this happen girls
Speaker 1: do two guys too. It's easy for them after the fact.
Speaker 1: Two because no one wants to break someone's heart, no
Speaker 1: one wants to hurt someone. So if they can convince
Speaker 1: themselves it wasn't really anything real and that they don't
Speaker 1: have any accountability, then they can escape any kind of
Speaker 1: blame and then they can make you out to be
Speaker 1: the crazy one. So it's dude, it's such a perfect
Speaker 1: lyric and it does it. It definitely hit me hard.
Speaker 1: And that's happened to be a bunch and it's a
Speaker 1: common thing and maybe and then we're talking about memory
Speaker 1: now and now I'm like, God, did I remember it wrong?
Speaker 1: Like that's what gaslighting is. They make you think like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 1: am I like a crazy girl who like thinks we
Speaker 1: had something more? Yeah, Like it was on the verge
Speaker 1: to marriage. But regardless of if you're a crazy girl
Speaker 1: or not, like you felt that way, and um, i'd
Speaker 1: love to see you, Nikki, talking to your therapist and
Speaker 1: you're only talking in Taylor Swift songs and see how
Speaker 1: like it would be amazing because I've seen the thing
Speaker 1: where like they like a guy or girl will text
Speaker 1: there only lyrics, like one line at a time, and
Speaker 1: they'll be like, yeah, dude, I'm not like I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's just really funny to see the response. All he
Speaker 1: had to do was stay he had me in the
Speaker 1: problem of his hand and lock me out when I
Speaker 1: was trying to let him in. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: know what you how are you feeling at the time, Like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, if I wanted to know who he was
Speaker 1: hanging with, I would have while I was gone. I
Speaker 1: would have asked him, well, is he honest with you?
Speaker 1: You think? Well, yeah, I mean just casually cruel in
Speaker 1: the name of being honest that happens. I could do this,
Speaker 1: I could really do. We should make a video like that.
Speaker 1: It'll be really funny. I'll play you to therapist if
Speaker 1: you want. Yeah, that would be fun. Um, all right,
Speaker 1: let's go to the next one. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for that. Okay, any tailors with stuff I love. The
Speaker 1: next one is Bobby with the story I Andrew, Nicki
Speaker 1: and Noah. This is Bobby calling in from Berlin. Um.
Speaker 1: I was listening to the pot the other day and
Speaker 1: you guys were talking about the Mile High Club, and
Speaker 1: I was just inclined to share a story. So when
Speaker 1: I was in high school, I did this exchange program
Speaker 1: where like sixty international students get together and you live
Speaker 1: on a TLL ship and you travel and you study,
Speaker 1: and you become sale traces. And as you do when
Speaker 1: you put sixty teenagers together, everyone ends up coupling up
Speaker 1: and falling in love. Blah blah blah. Uh. So I
Speaker 1: was one of those kids, and my boyfriend and I
Speaker 1: we at the end of the semester. We were flying
Speaker 1: home to separate places, and we were on the plane
Speaker 1: before we had to say goodbye, holding hands across the aisle, crying.
Speaker 1: It was the whole thing. We ended up going to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and one thing led to another and we
Speaker 1: had sex. Um. So, yeah, one thing they don't tell
Speaker 1: you is that it gets extremely teeny and hot in
Speaker 1: the bathroom. After you have sex and the mirrors completely
Speaker 1: fog up and there's always gonna be like ten people
Speaker 1: outside wanting to use the bathroom. So my boyfriend scoots
Speaker 1: out past this line of people. I try to fix
Speaker 1: the mirrors, rub my eyes to make it look like
Speaker 1: I was crying, like that's not what we were just
Speaker 1: going there and anyway, and I joined him on are
Speaker 1: you the worst walk of shame that you can never do? U?
Speaker 1: So yeah, anyway, no one I ever said anything, and
Speaker 1: I think they just felt bad for us, so we
Speaker 1: got away with it. Anyway, Love you, guys, I love you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's such a good idea. I was
Speaker 1: always because I was I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: people always going to know what you do in there.
Speaker 1: Just act like you're having like an episode, Like no,
Speaker 1: I was just all over your face afterwards. That's the
Speaker 1: only way to do it is to be like, but
Speaker 1: why would you if your boyfriend come in and help
Speaker 1: you with your explosive diary. He's such a good man.
Speaker 1: You can only get away with it. Or maybe you
Speaker 1: act blind and he's like you're seeing I boyfriend or
Speaker 1: a guy you know, I boyfriend. There was another story
Speaker 1: of another girl like, I was listening to the other
Speaker 1: and she was on a church group and she jerked
Speaker 1: off these teen tours. Don't let your kids go because
Speaker 1: they're gonna get fucked in the air. I mean, no,
Speaker 1: it's awesome. I mean it's awesome. It's just amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was another church group and she's like, I jerked
Speaker 1: him off on the plane, but I didn't do it
Speaker 1: to complete because I was still afraid to come. I
Speaker 1: relate to that so much. Let's get some final thought.
Speaker 1: Final thought, we should talk about Instagram photos. We got
Speaker 1: sent a good amount. They didn't really help the debate
Speaker 1: because so, yeah, here's the problem. It's my my. My
Speaker 1: whole hypothesis is based on women who have a big
Speaker 1: male following. And I realized. I went to go get
Speaker 1: a diet coke before we did the show, and I
Speaker 1: was trying to find example, Like I was going through
Speaker 1: all my girlfriends and people I followed to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: let me just find some examples here. Why can't I
Speaker 1: just like search here because I can see how many
Speaker 1: likes things get. I could do this, and I realized
Speaker 1: I want to. I want to spend some time on
Speaker 1: it um to build my case. But I think that reliable.
Speaker 1: I was trying to think of female comics who have
Speaker 1: big male followings. I couldn't really think of that many.
Speaker 1: I did find a great example of the girl that's
Speaker 1: in um the New jackass Uh. She perfect example of
Speaker 1: her and her boyfriend. The only picture she has of
Speaker 1: them nine likes. Everything else is like thousands and thousands, Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's gonna It's my hypothesis about if you have
Speaker 1: a mostly female female are supportive of relationships, whether they
Speaker 1: like the guy or not, that they're following. It's it's
Speaker 1: if you have a male following as a woman, you
Speaker 1: are going to get way way less like on a
Speaker 1: picture of you and your boyfriend. It's just gonna be
Speaker 1: the way it is because men are threatened, and like,
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of what I said yesterday is brilliant.
Speaker 1: Women know that if a man that they like is
Speaker 1: with a girl, they could still fuck them. Because men
Speaker 1: are yes more non monogamous by nature. There's still a chance,
Speaker 1: even if that guy is a good person, there's still
Speaker 1: a chance he might fuck you, whereas when a girl
Speaker 1: is coupled up off limits to like, women just aren't
Speaker 1: as non monogamous and so men are much more threatened
Speaker 1: as they should be from not being able to fuck
Speaker 1: you if you have a boyfriend, as opposed to women
Speaker 1: seeing you a guy with a girl, even if it's
Speaker 1: the case or not, we've learned to or at least
Speaker 1: I've learned that a lot of people are sending in
Speaker 1: photos where when you're solo, you're like in a bikini,
Speaker 1: or you're wearing like no bra or a lot of
Speaker 1: skin is showing. And then with your boyfriend, you're wearing
Speaker 1: nineteen you're looking like bridgertin over there you're wearing like
Speaker 1: nineteen years And then you're comparing those two and that's
Speaker 1: not a fair compared. It's really like I was thinking
Speaker 1: about it, sometimes the quality of a photo, which you
Speaker 1: don't understand because you just put whatever photo you fucking take.
Speaker 1: You don't understand like making a photo look sharper an
Speaker 1: image or like or just turning the color up, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: making it look more aesthetically pleasing, you know, wiping off
Speaker 1: the lens, lying, Yeah, wiping off the lens and turning
Speaker 1: on a lamp. Yeah, that's not who you are. That's
Speaker 1: going to make get you more like that the photo
Speaker 1: just looks nicer. So there's all these variables. But I
Speaker 1: do think my new thing that I'm going to go
Speaker 1: really deep in this afternoon probably is women who are musicians.
Speaker 1: Men like female musicians, female comics. There's not a lot
Speaker 1: of female comics that men prefer. Like most most men
Speaker 1: like thing of all my female comic friends, and it's
Speaker 1: most of them have female followings. I would think. I mean,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have guessed that mine. I'm seu men. It's
Speaker 1: it's really weird and actually a lot of sense because
Speaker 1: I have sent women, yeah the whole your your whole
Speaker 1: theory as well as like, so when I put up
Speaker 1: a pitcher in relationship, it gets more likes because yeah, interesting, Yes,
Speaker 1: women will very much support that. You know what I
Speaker 1: want to see. I want to see women dress as
Speaker 1: scandalous as possible next to their boyfriend, and I want
Speaker 1: to see that. Well, I'm going to go through because
Speaker 1: female musicians. I'm friends with a lot of them, and
Speaker 1: they have huge male followings because men always think that
Speaker 1: like this singer songwriter woman is like they there's a
Speaker 1: part I've I've had guy friends who are like fans
Speaker 1: of you know, the Maggie Rodgers is the on your marinas,
Speaker 1: the like Vincent Vincent. Yeah, and they have this like
Speaker 1: they love the idea of fucking this girl and they
Speaker 1: think that they get this girl on a different level,
Speaker 1: like these guys just in the front row, like she
Speaker 1: gets me, and it's these are the ones. I'm going
Speaker 1: to go look through their following. And also girls that
Speaker 1: do like are on male podcasts. They probably have a
Speaker 1: lot of male followers too, and I'm gonna go look
Speaker 1: through them and see if I or athletes athletes stars
Speaker 1: doesn't work. Actually it depends. There's some female athletes that
Speaker 1: guys really like. Guys are very picky and choosy about
Speaker 1: which women they support. I'm grateful to be one of
Speaker 1: those women as as a whole. Um, I do appreciate
Speaker 1: it as the whole that I am. But man, there
Speaker 1: there are many men who loathe me, loath just fucking
Speaker 1: hate me. It's so upsetting. How much you get hated
Speaker 1: when you get famous, is is just it's Yeah, the
Speaker 1: as much as you get so much love, the more
Speaker 1: love you get, the more you're going to get hate too.
Speaker 1: People do not hate people that aren't like in the spotlight.
Speaker 1: You just don't care. You would not hate someone that
Speaker 1: had nobody following them and no one was talking about
Speaker 1: it just wouldn't happen. Think about you've been discuss anytime
Speaker 1: you start talking where I start start talking to comic,
Speaker 1: it's because they're getting heat. We would never talk about
Speaker 1: a person that just released one clip with five people
Speaker 1: watching and go, look at this sucks so much. We
Speaker 1: would only talk it if people were enjoying it. It's
Speaker 1: always started from jealousy. It never isn't anyone I've ever
Speaker 1: hated or been like, God, they suck. It's because they're
Speaker 1: popular and I'm jealous. But here's the thing. You know,
Speaker 1: you could say, because I saw the thing with John
Speaker 1: Stewart there, like you know, you don't get as much
Speaker 1: slack as you know this kind of comedian or this
Speaker 1: kind of person. He's like I could go on Twitter
Speaker 1: right now and say, I mean he's a little bit
Speaker 1: of like whatever, like example, yeah he's a little bit polarized,
Speaker 1: but like someone that you would think like, oh, everyone
Speaker 1: loves you. If you go on Twitter and search your name,
Speaker 1: everyone everyone get hate. But yeah, it's because the more
Speaker 1: people that know you, the percentage of people that hate you,
Speaker 1: and that contingency is going to go up and it's
Speaker 1: gonna go. But don't you believe that when we you
Speaker 1: and I bitch about someone, like sometimes you'll bring up
Speaker 1: the other day you brought up a community and you're like,
Speaker 1: they're fucking They're just saying things that have already been said.
Speaker 1: None of this is original, And I never really heard
Speaker 1: of this person, And I go, why are we talking
Speaker 1: about them? Did they just get us? And you're like,
Speaker 1: because they're blowing up online, It's like we wouldn't be
Speaker 1: talking about them if they just were a random person
Speaker 1: that released the clip that sucked, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And they were all original thoughts. You know that. I
Speaker 1: mean they you started playing it and you go, actually,
Speaker 1: that's good. That was good too. He's just a guy.
Speaker 1: All you see when you watch it, it's confidence. He's
Speaker 1: just a guy that's confident. It's all it is. People
Speaker 1: are so susceptible to it, including me. Guys. Be confident
Speaker 1: this weekend, go out there, get naked, get naked, do
Speaker 1: something terrible. Wake up Sunday, be very depressed Monday morning,
Speaker 1: get right back after. Thanks for listening to pod this week.
Speaker 1: We'll see you on Monday. Busties. Uh don't be cut
Speaker 1: and black. Have we not done that? One? I don't
Speaker 1: think so, and it got sent to me. Just lea
Speaker 1: shit