1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:23,195 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Did 2 00:00:23,275 --> 00:00:28,395 Speaker 1: Trump really just threaten to arrest Joe Biden in his 3 00:00:28,435 --> 00:00:31,115 Speaker 1: war against the United States of America? As Trump ready's 4 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:34,155 Speaker 1: fifteen hundred members of the eleventh Air Born in Alaska 5 00:00:34,275 --> 00:00:39,435 Speaker 1: to parachute into Minnesota, as Trump threatens conflict with natal 6 00:00:39,555 --> 00:00:42,675 Speaker 1: while being unable to remember that America is in NATO. 7 00:00:44,115 --> 00:00:46,875 Speaker 1: Is the man who put the dick in Dictator's next 8 00:00:46,915 --> 00:00:51,995 Speaker 1: step an attempt to arrest his predecessor, or to indict 9 00:00:52,475 --> 00:00:55,515 Speaker 1: Kamala Harris, or to convene grand juries, to pursue the 10 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,675 Speaker 1: former First Lady, or Jensaki or Karine Jean Pierre. God 11 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:06,755 Speaker 1: knows who else lost understandably understandable, lost in the mindless 12 00:01:06,835 --> 00:01:10,435 Speaker 1: chaos now being driven by the mindless tyrant in the 13 00:01:10,475 --> 00:01:15,115 Speaker 1: White House, Lost in the mindless chaos in Minnesota at 14 00:01:15,235 --> 00:01:20,075 Speaker 1: Joint Base Elmendorf near Anchorage in Greenland. In television where 15 00:01:20,115 --> 00:01:23,635 Speaker 1: he has decided he gets to decide which football game 16 00:01:23,955 --> 00:01:27,995 Speaker 1: is on your goddamned television, and when there was a 17 00:01:28,035 --> 00:01:32,115 Speaker 1: warning shot that if it registered with you, it may 18 00:01:32,155 --> 00:01:37,955 Speaker 1: have only registered fifth or sixth or later. Another one 19 00:01:37,995 --> 00:01:41,675 Speaker 1: of his few remaining brain cells, and I always envisioned 20 00:01:41,715 --> 00:01:44,355 Speaker 1: them like the cows at a dairy farm with those 21 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:48,915 Speaker 1: big number tags on their ears. Another one of Trump's 22 00:01:48,915 --> 00:01:52,555 Speaker 1: few remaining brain cells, number seventy one, I think it was, 23 00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:57,075 Speaker 1: got to the front and moved something about auto pens again, 24 00:01:57,435 --> 00:02:00,275 Speaker 1: and out came a pronouncement from the Emperor who has 25 00:02:00,355 --> 00:02:03,955 Speaker 1: no clothes. That begins everyone is asking about the auto 26 00:02:03,955 --> 00:02:07,595 Speaker 1: pen question because the son of a bitch is nearly 27 00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:10,275 Speaker 1: eighty and he still doesn't know how to use punctuation marks. 28 00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:14,515 Speaker 1: This starts with the usual Trumpion stupidity and then turns 29 00:02:14,595 --> 00:02:18,195 Speaker 1: very dark, very fast. Quote. It was an absolutely illegal 30 00:02:18,315 --> 00:02:22,835 Speaker 1: act perpetrated by the radical left insurrectionists who illegally ran 31 00:02:22,915 --> 00:02:25,955 Speaker 1: the Biden administration. Every one of them should be arrested 32 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:28,275 Speaker 1: for what they have done. The whole thing was rigged. 33 00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:30,315 Speaker 1: There must be a price to pay, and it has 34 00:02:30,315 --> 00:02:33,675 Speaker 1: got to be a big one end quote before you 35 00:02:33,835 --> 00:02:38,075 Speaker 1: dismiss this, Yes, it is more evidence that no matter 36 00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:42,355 Speaker 1: what evil he accomplishes or how much money he steals 37 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:45,915 Speaker 1: while in office each day, for this worthless sack of 38 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:49,715 Speaker 1: shit is ruined by the fact that he lost the 39 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,635 Speaker 1: twenty twenty election and all of the oxygen he has 40 00:02:53,755 --> 00:02:59,555 Speaker 1: wasted trying to deny, erase and eliminate that reality has failed, 41 00:03:00,035 --> 00:03:02,875 Speaker 1: and that he lost, and that Biden won, and that 42 00:03:02,955 --> 00:03:05,715 Speaker 1: he lost, and that no what he is talking about 43 00:03:05,715 --> 00:03:09,795 Speaker 1: the auto pen I'm ron Burgundy, and the fact that 44 00:03:09,835 --> 00:03:14,115 Speaker 1: he lost. It would be nice to dismiss it as 45 00:03:14,155 --> 00:03:16,795 Speaker 1: all that. But as soon as Trump insisted the woman 46 00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:20,715 Speaker 1: he murdered by proxy, Renee Good, was a paid agitator, 47 00:03:20,915 --> 00:03:24,515 Speaker 1: the Department of Justice opened investigation into not the murderer, 48 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:30,315 Speaker 1: Jonathan Ross, nor his enablers Tom Holman, Todd Lyons, Christy 49 00:03:30,395 --> 00:03:32,475 Speaker 1: Nome wearing a face that she keeps in a jar 50 00:03:32,595 --> 00:03:35,635 Speaker 1: by the door, Greg Bovino in the Nazi trench coat 51 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,915 Speaker 1: he found in the boys department at J. C. Penny, 52 00:03:38,835 --> 00:03:42,155 Speaker 1: or Trump himself, not into any of them. The investigation 53 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,115 Speaker 1: is into Renee Good's widow to see if she was 54 00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:49,755 Speaker 1: a paid agitator. Mayor Jacob Fry told Ice to get 55 00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:52,275 Speaker 1: the f out of Minneapolis, and Governor Tim Wall said 56 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,155 Speaker 1: he would protect his state from Ice, and Trump slandered 57 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:58,555 Speaker 1: both of them, and Trump's scrot him in a suit. 58 00:03:58,755 --> 00:04:02,195 Speaker 1: Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche lied about them and said 59 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:06,475 Speaker 1: they were quote encouraging violence against lawforcement, and some anonymous 60 00:04:06,475 --> 00:04:10,395 Speaker 1: coward leaked to the newest state media CBS that subpoenas 61 00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:13,195 Speaker 1: were likely to be issued against both for some fabricated 62 00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:18,995 Speaker 1: conspiracy case. As Trump mooing about Jack Smith brought that 63 00:04:19,155 --> 00:04:22,355 Speaker 1: failed attempt to indict him, as the attempt to destroy 64 00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:26,715 Speaker 1: Mark Kelly out of the illegal Orders video gradually degraded 65 00:04:26,715 --> 00:04:30,315 Speaker 1: from indict him, to arrest him, to demote him in rank, 66 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:34,875 Speaker 1: to stare daggers at him, as Trump's bleeding about James 67 00:04:34,915 --> 00:04:37,195 Speaker 1: Comy blew up in his face and that of an 68 00:04:37,315 --> 00:04:41,555 Speaker 1: entire roster full of beauty pageant runners up turned Trump lawyers. 69 00:04:42,395 --> 00:04:47,835 Speaker 1: It's stupid, it fails, but it happens, and every time 70 00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:50,995 Speaker 1: it happens, another arch gets knocked out from under the 71 00:04:51,075 --> 00:04:54,875 Speaker 1: ancient facade that has held the country together for six 72 00:04:54,955 --> 00:04:58,395 Speaker 1: months shy of two hundred and fifty years, and the 73 00:04:58,435 --> 00:05:01,875 Speaker 1: odds are not one hundred to none that we will 74 00:05:01,915 --> 00:05:06,715 Speaker 1: make it to year two fifty one. The point of this, 75 00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:10,035 Speaker 1: of course, being not the failures that Trump continues to have, 76 00:05:10,395 --> 00:05:13,875 Speaker 1: but the threats he continues to make. When Trump writes 77 00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:17,075 Speaker 1: they quote illegally ran the Biden administration. Every one of 78 00:05:17,075 --> 00:05:19,475 Speaker 1: them should be arrested. This is no longer one of 79 00:05:19,515 --> 00:05:22,875 Speaker 1: those mental illness signs that he used to have in 80 00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:25,435 Speaker 1: the middle of the first administration. This is something one 81 00:05:25,435 --> 00:05:28,595 Speaker 1: of his whores at the Department of Justice will act 82 00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:34,235 Speaker 1: upon because a they are whores and b because they 83 00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:38,075 Speaker 1: are soft and frankly, getting an indictment against Joe Biden 84 00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:42,355 Speaker 1: for something that amounts to being president without mister Trump's 85 00:05:42,355 --> 00:05:48,515 Speaker 1: permission is just easier. It's just easier than confronting the 86 00:05:48,595 --> 00:05:53,355 Speaker 1: whining pants soiling job of the Hut with Bronzer currently 87 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:56,635 Speaker 1: occupying the White House until the White House floor beneath 88 00:05:56,715 --> 00:06:04,915 Speaker 1: him collapses, possibly given Trump's weight. Literally. So we are 89 00:06:04,955 --> 00:06:07,475 Speaker 1: waiting to see if Trump will invoke the Insurrection Act 90 00:06:07,475 --> 00:06:10,475 Speaker 1: to enforce his racism and sadism in Minnesota, and if 91 00:06:10,475 --> 00:06:13,715 Speaker 1: he will deploy the fifteen hundred paratroops at Elmendorff that 92 00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:17,915 Speaker 1: Pentagon sources happily reassure us with the phrase, this doesn't 93 00:06:17,955 --> 00:06:22,955 Speaker 1: mean they will deploy. We're preparing options while we wait 94 00:06:22,995 --> 00:06:25,715 Speaker 1: to see if he can really insist we need Greenland 95 00:06:26,115 --> 00:06:29,875 Speaker 1: to defend the Arctic from China. When the paratroopers at 96 00:06:29,915 --> 00:06:33,875 Speaker 1: Elmendorf are the principal force dedicated to defend the Arctic 97 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:37,755 Speaker 1: from China. What's next could be a literal attempt to 98 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,635 Speaker 1: arrest Biden and Kamala and I don't know who else. 99 00:06:40,675 --> 00:06:43,355 Speaker 1: Did Trump particularly dislike it? Please please please, please, please 100 00:06:43,355 --> 00:06:46,235 Speaker 1: please please. If we're going to continue to, let Trump 101 00:06:46,435 --> 00:06:49,475 Speaker 1: do a reboot of the movie Idiocracy, please please please 102 00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:53,995 Speaker 1: please please let his primary target in this be Merrick Garland, 103 00:06:55,155 --> 00:06:59,795 Speaker 1: because he'll actually get bipartisans support for arresting Merrick Garland. 104 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:04,435 Speaker 1: I'm just saying that Trump would try to put Biden 105 00:07:04,475 --> 00:07:07,395 Speaker 1: and the others in jail for simply having had the 106 00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:12,635 Speaker 1: nerve to defeat him. He is probably this is just 107 00:07:12,715 --> 00:07:15,235 Speaker 1: me speculating, but he has probably come within one or 108 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,595 Speaker 1: two conversations of issuing an executive order declaring that the 109 00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:22,195 Speaker 1: presidency of Joe Biden never happened and it was totally 110 00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:25,195 Speaker 1: illegal and null and voided of no further force or effect. 111 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:29,395 Speaker 1: And thank you for your inattention to my madness. The 112 00:07:29,435 --> 00:07:33,035 Speaker 1: autopen bullshit is the closest he's ever come to actually 113 00:07:33,075 --> 00:07:36,075 Speaker 1: doing something about this with Biden, and we know that 114 00:07:36,395 --> 00:07:40,075 Speaker 1: fact enrages him because his brain never worked right in 115 00:07:40,115 --> 00:07:42,115 Speaker 1: the first place, and it's getting worse. And he is 116 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,635 Speaker 1: surrounded by a few true believers, but mostly he's surrounded 117 00:07:45,635 --> 00:07:47,475 Speaker 1: by people for whom doing the right thing is just 118 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:52,115 Speaker 1: too damn much trouble, especially if it means they'll no 119 00:07:52,195 --> 00:07:59,915 Speaker 1: longer get free car service. And so his next move 120 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:05,275 Speaker 1: may in fact be to arrest Biden and boa Winston 121 00:08:05,315 --> 00:08:08,075 Speaker 1: Smith on the entire Biden administration and claim there was 122 00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:11,155 Speaker 1: no presidency between twenty twenty one and twenty twenty five, 123 00:08:14,635 --> 00:08:17,475 Speaker 1: that his presidency was gone, but the melody lingered on 124 00:08:17,635 --> 00:08:20,955 Speaker 1: and that's what was in charge. And he'll do that. 125 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:26,995 Speaker 1: Actor he finishes invading Minnesota and Greenland, but not before 126 00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:30,155 Speaker 1: blackmailing everyone he can find into acquiescing, because the current 127 00:08:30,195 --> 00:08:34,715 Speaker 1: president of the United States is a blackmailer. Let's see, 128 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:38,155 Speaker 1: he's blackmailing Denmark, the UK, the EU, six other individual 129 00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:41,475 Speaker 1: EU countries with tariffs until they make a deal for 130 00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:44,475 Speaker 1: the complete and total purchase of Greenland. And by the way, 131 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:48,755 Speaker 1: what the f is a complete and total purchase? Besides 132 00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:53,875 Speaker 1: what a diseased infant's mind tells itself sounds like legalleese. 133 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,795 Speaker 1: All right, He's also blackmailing half Republican politicians who becomes 134 00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:04,635 Speaker 1: co conspirators. He's blackmailing candidates, he's blackmailing voters, he's blackmailing prosecutors. 135 00:09:04,715 --> 00:09:08,915 Speaker 1: He's blackmailing business people. He's blackmailing television companies. He's blackmailing 136 00:09:08,995 --> 00:09:12,035 Speaker 1: the poor, he's blackmailing the rich. And he blackmailed the 137 00:09:12,115 --> 00:09:15,715 Speaker 1: rightful elected president of Venezuela into giving him her Nobel 138 00:09:15,715 --> 00:09:18,115 Speaker 1: Peace Prize in exchange for his support for her to 139 00:09:18,155 --> 00:09:21,355 Speaker 1: assume office. And of course, like most blackmailers, he got 140 00:09:21,355 --> 00:09:23,275 Speaker 1: the prize so he can say he is a Nobel 141 00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:26,475 Speaker 1: Prize recipient. And then he did not give her his 142 00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:30,075 Speaker 1: support for her to assume office, because like most blackmailers, 143 00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:40,155 Speaker 1: he lies compulsively. There are solutions as to Greenland. I 144 00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:43,115 Speaker 1: don't have much use for the site the argument, but 145 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:46,355 Speaker 1: Jacob Weisman of the argument hit the nail on the 146 00:09:46,395 --> 00:09:51,075 Speaker 1: head quote Democrats should just say that they'll immediately return 147 00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:58,395 Speaker 1: Greenland even if Trump somehow buys it. Simple in enraging 148 00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:03,275 Speaker 1: and effective. And I'm sure this idea well, the Democrats 149 00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:07,315 Speaker 1: should say what we should say something. I'm sure Keem 150 00:10:07,395 --> 00:10:09,955 Speaker 1: Jeffreys and Chuck Schumer will be launching the Study Committee 151 00:10:09,955 --> 00:10:12,875 Speaker 1: on this early in the third quarter of this year 152 00:10:14,035 --> 00:10:18,315 Speaker 1: or the fourth quarter, no doubt the threat to the 153 00:10:18,395 --> 00:10:22,875 Speaker 1: nation that is Trump's gestapo, street gang, militia, and terrorist organization, 154 00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:25,955 Speaker 1: the one he calls ICE. That's even more simple. The 155 00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:28,555 Speaker 1: House stripped out funding of it from its roll over 156 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:31,715 Speaker 1: on the continuing resolution that we'll fund the government past 157 00:10:31,795 --> 00:10:34,835 Speaker 1: the thirtieth. The Senate hasn't even approached a vote on 158 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:38,835 Speaker 1: that part of the latest not a shutdown bill. Patty 159 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:41,795 Speaker 1: Murray of Washington says she and other Democratic negotiators have 160 00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:44,515 Speaker 1: been quote very clear in our negotiations that we will 161 00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:51,115 Speaker 1: not allow an increase unquote in ICE funding. As if 162 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:56,675 Speaker 1: that were somehow enough, they should start by cutting it completely. 163 00:10:58,155 --> 00:11:02,035 Speaker 1: No money for ICE, even if that means shutting the 164 00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:08,875 Speaker 1: government down indefinitely. Not funding, but only with body cameras 165 00:11:08,995 --> 00:11:13,075 Speaker 1: or de escalation training. That's another democratic idea, body cameras 166 00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:18,875 Speaker 1: that these thugs have to turn on first d escalation. 167 00:11:19,515 --> 00:11:25,435 Speaker 1: Enrique Tario, chief Proud Boy Emeritus, says he has become 168 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:31,795 Speaker 1: an ICE agent. What would de escalating that scumbag mean exactly? 169 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,915 Speaker 1: You'd teach him to shoot innocent bystanders, not in the face, 170 00:11:36,035 --> 00:11:41,195 Speaker 1: but only in the chest Tario may not be the 171 00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:44,315 Speaker 1: only January sixth figure working for Trump's brown shirts. A 172 00:11:44,315 --> 00:11:47,155 Speaker 1: House committee is trying to get human resources info out 173 00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:50,515 Speaker 1: of the DOJ. How many would you say? What percentage? 174 00:11:50,635 --> 00:11:55,835 Speaker 1: Fifty percent? Forty? No, no, of course not thirty no comment. 175 00:11:56,195 --> 00:12:00,475 Speaker 1: The Texas Observer already found that an assistant Chief Council 176 00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:05,675 Speaker 1: named Jim Rodden no with d's not he's, who had 177 00:12:05,675 --> 00:12:08,995 Speaker 1: worked as an ice prosecutor in an immigration court in Dallas, 178 00:12:09,515 --> 00:12:12,395 Speaker 1: was chased out of the organization nearly a year ago 179 00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:15,755 Speaker 1: after they found that he also ran a white supremacist 180 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:19,315 Speaker 1: Twitter account. Last week, the Texas Observer got a tip, 181 00:12:19,475 --> 00:12:21,795 Speaker 1: went to Immigration Court in Dallas again, and sure enough, 182 00:12:21,835 --> 00:12:26,355 Speaker 1: at the prosecution table there was Jim Rodden again wearing 183 00:12:26,395 --> 00:12:32,315 Speaker 1: his staff badge. This account that it ascribes to him 184 00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:35,915 Speaker 1: posted quote America is a white nation, end quote, all 185 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:38,875 Speaker 1: migrants are criminals, and quote all blacks are foreign to 186 00:12:38,995 --> 00:12:42,475 Speaker 1: my people and per the Texas Observer quote in addition 187 00:12:42,515 --> 00:12:47,875 Speaker 1: to posts to the parent praise about Alf Hitler, where 188 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:54,035 Speaker 1: as Caroline Levitt calls him Adolf Hilter. So mister Rowden 189 00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:58,195 Speaker 1: is back prosecuting ice cases because I guess Susan Collins 190 00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:02,075 Speaker 1: thinks he's learned his lesson, or maybe because he earned 191 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,475 Speaker 1: his time out not because he had one white supremat count, 192 00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:12,755 Speaker 1: but because he only had one white supremacist count. Polling 193 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,395 Speaker 1: on ICE is still way too close. A new poll 194 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:19,555 Speaker 1: from CBS yesterday, ICE is making communities less safe fifty 195 00:13:19,595 --> 00:13:24,355 Speaker 1: two percent. ICE is making communities more safe thirty one percent. 196 00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:30,635 Speaker 1: Still way too close. But the individual methods used by ICE, 197 00:13:31,595 --> 00:13:34,275 Speaker 1: when they are polled, they show no doubt that more 198 00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:38,555 Speaker 1: than sixty percent of this country wants ICE neutralized immediately. 199 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:44,755 Speaker 1: Polling against detaining US citizens, against having agents masked, against 200 00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:49,715 Speaker 1: ZIP tying kids, against gassing six month olds, and against 201 00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:53,355 Speaker 1: you know, shooting bystanders in the face. That is all 202 00:13:53,435 --> 00:13:57,155 Speaker 1: in the sixty to seventy percent range. America is sick 203 00:13:57,195 --> 00:14:00,995 Speaker 1: to death of this sadism and this chaos and this 204 00:14:01,155 --> 00:14:05,795 Speaker 1: scumbag Trump, and for once, Democrats should look at that reality. 205 00:14:06,515 --> 00:14:10,155 Speaker 1: And other things like party ID shifting back to Democrats 206 00:14:10,195 --> 00:14:14,835 Speaker 1: by plus eight with Republicans now about to drop below 207 00:14:14,995 --> 00:14:19,235 Speaker 1: forty percent identification. Things like that and the Cook Political 208 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:23,395 Speaker 1: Report moving on just one day last week, eighteen house 209 00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:28,275 Speaker 1: races taking eighteen house races and moving them towards the Democrats. 210 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:31,835 Speaker 1: The Democrats should just once take all of this and 211 00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:38,435 Speaker 1: put it together and effing take yes for an answer. 212 00:15:00,915 --> 00:15:04,675 Speaker 1: So remember the episode of The Simpsons where Homer falls 213 00:15:04,835 --> 00:15:06,675 Speaker 1: down the side of the Grand Canyon, and every time 214 00:15:06,715 --> 00:15:10,475 Speaker 1: he seems to have stopped by a ledge, the ledge 215 00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:14,995 Speaker 1: gives way beneath him and he resumes falling, and then finally, finally, finally, 216 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:17,115 Speaker 1: at the end of it, they rescue him from the 217 00:15:17,195 --> 00:15:19,555 Speaker 1: canyon floor and they bring him to the top by 218 00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:22,755 Speaker 1: metavac helicopter, and they put his gurney in the ambulance 219 00:15:22,795 --> 00:15:25,555 Speaker 1: and the driver hits the gas and the ambulance crashes 220 00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:27,795 Speaker 1: into a tree and the doors fly open in the 221 00:15:27,795 --> 00:15:29,995 Speaker 1: back and the gurney slides out the back and Homer 222 00:15:30,075 --> 00:15:35,955 Speaker 1: falls down the side of the Grand Canyon again. Remember ever, 223 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,995 Speaker 1: wonder what could be worse than that? Well, the answer 224 00:15:40,195 --> 00:15:46,355 Speaker 1: is now finally here. This is the CBS Evening News. 225 00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:52,795 Speaker 1: Oh my god, the Homer Simpsons of propaganda, Barry Weiss 226 00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:58,835 Speaker 1: and Tony Dakoppel are on approximately their sixteenth trips down 227 00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:01,835 Speaker 1: the canyon walls, and there is no indication that they 228 00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:06,995 Speaker 1: even know it. The comic relief. First that per the 229 00:16:06,995 --> 00:16:11,635 Speaker 1: newspaper The Independent, on Halloween, Weiss was at Nora O'Donnell's 230 00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:14,795 Speaker 1: last ditch audition to get her old job back at 231 00:16:14,795 --> 00:16:18,115 Speaker 1: CBS by doing a softball interview with Trump. Trump said 232 00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:22,195 Speaker 1: something about her Weiss, that is, and Weiss suddenly appeared 233 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:27,035 Speaker 1: out of nowhere like beetlejuice, and according to a source quote, 234 00:16:27,075 --> 00:16:28,795 Speaker 1: he was so happy to see her, and she was 235 00:16:28,835 --> 00:16:31,435 Speaker 1: so excited to meet him. They both leaned in and 236 00:16:31,515 --> 00:16:36,355 Speaker 1: exchanged kisses on the cheek. So the report is not 237 00:16:36,435 --> 00:16:45,395 Speaker 1: clear Weiss kissed Trump's cheek which cheek was? That got 238 00:16:45,475 --> 00:16:48,995 Speaker 1: to the next CBS useless propagandist interview a president pedophile 239 00:16:49,035 --> 00:16:53,835 Speaker 1: protector by Tony Stop Stop He's already dead dacoppol last Tuesday. 240 00:16:54,315 --> 00:16:56,755 Speaker 1: When it was over. Per a recording obtained by The 241 00:16:56,755 --> 00:17:00,115 Speaker 1: New York Times, Caroline Levitt, the witch bunt who lies 242 00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:02,995 Speaker 1: for Trump most of the time but is intensely stupid 243 00:17:03,075 --> 00:17:05,675 Speaker 1: all of the time, goes over to Jacopyl and his 244 00:17:05,795 --> 00:17:09,235 Speaker 1: crew and this exchange ensues. Levitt says Trump has a 245 00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:13,395 Speaker 1: message for him and for CBS. She said it was 246 00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:16,235 Speaker 1: quote he said, make sure you guys don't cut the tape, 247 00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:18,915 Speaker 1: make sure on the interview was out in fall, to 248 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:22,675 Speaker 1: which Dacoppel kissed the cheek metaphorically. Anyway quote, yeah, we're 249 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,715 Speaker 1: doing it, yeah, to which Levitt answers. He said, if 250 00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:28,515 Speaker 1: it's not out in fall, we'll sue your ass off. 251 00:17:28,835 --> 00:17:28,875 Speaker 2: It. 252 00:17:29,075 --> 00:17:30,355 Speaker 1: Makes sure you guys don't. 253 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:30,795 Speaker 2: Cut the tape. 254 00:17:30,915 --> 00:17:32,235 Speaker 1: Make sure that you're selling. 255 00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:35,715 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing it. I'm setting it's not up to 256 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,595 Speaker 2: see your assay. 257 00:17:38,715 --> 00:17:44,955 Speaker 1: He always does that. You go one second, how long 258 00:17:44,995 --> 00:17:48,715 Speaker 1: do we go? It's area. The Times posted that tape, 259 00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:52,275 Speaker 1: and the funny part is the lightheartedness from Dacoppel, who, 260 00:17:52,315 --> 00:17:55,955 Speaker 1: as I suggested earlier, does not understand, or at least 261 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:58,555 Speaker 1: does not seem to understand, that he is doing the 262 00:17:58,715 --> 00:18:02,435 Speaker 1: Homer visits the Grand Canyon bit again and again and again, 263 00:18:02,635 --> 00:18:07,035 Speaker 1: a kind of reverse Sissyphus, where Sisyphus is not the guy, 264 00:18:07,475 --> 00:18:11,235 Speaker 1: Sisyphus is the giant rock and it keeps rolling down. 265 00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:16,435 Speaker 1: The funnier part is that Levitt is seriously too stupid 266 00:18:16,475 --> 00:18:20,555 Speaker 1: to know that a CBS crew with several dozen recording 267 00:18:20,595 --> 00:18:24,835 Speaker 1: devices on scene, plus the live feed of the interview 268 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,755 Speaker 1: going back to the studio in New York, that they 269 00:18:27,835 --> 00:18:32,115 Speaker 1: might still be recording moments after the interview had ended. Again, 270 00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:37,355 Speaker 1: I'm not complaining they are amateurs. If the Trump administration 271 00:18:37,475 --> 00:18:39,795 Speaker 1: was not made up of amateurs, we'd all be slave 272 00:18:39,915 --> 00:18:43,995 Speaker 1: labor by now. Levitt obviously didn't deny the story. There's 273 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:47,315 Speaker 1: a tape. She boasted that CBS did run the interview 274 00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:50,515 Speaker 1: in full. She insisted Trump's comments should only be run 275 00:18:50,595 --> 00:18:54,395 Speaker 1: in full. Or I don't know. She didn't say, maybe 276 00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:57,795 Speaker 1: Trump will have somebody shoot you in the face. The 277 00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:01,915 Speaker 1: more serious issue. It sure looks like CBS either fabricated 278 00:19:01,995 --> 00:19:05,315 Speaker 1: the nonsensical story about Renee Goods, murderer from ice and 279 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:09,435 Speaker 1: his quote internal bleeding to the torso, or more likely, 280 00:19:09,475 --> 00:19:13,115 Speaker 1: CBS merely ran a story fabricated by somebody else in 281 00:19:13,155 --> 00:19:17,235 Speaker 1: the Trump dictatorship. Internal bleeding to the torso is not 282 00:19:17,355 --> 00:19:19,955 Speaker 1: only not a thing medically, it is a thing you 283 00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:22,475 Speaker 1: would say if you were trying to make up a 284 00:19:22,515 --> 00:19:26,875 Speaker 1: fake injury. Since the shooter walked away from the moment, 285 00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:31,755 Speaker 1: he wasn't hit by her car, he didn't have internal 286 00:19:31,835 --> 00:19:36,475 Speaker 1: bleeding to the torso. Either way, it looked like the Maga, 287 00:19:36,595 --> 00:19:38,995 Speaker 1: editor in chief of CBS News, the disgraced former New 288 00:19:39,075 --> 00:19:42,435 Speaker 1: York Times columnist Barry Weiss pushed this story from the 289 00:19:42,435 --> 00:19:45,675 Speaker 1: Guardian quote the network's top editor. Weiss expressed a high 290 00:19:45,835 --> 00:19:48,955 Speaker 1: level of interest in the story on an editorial call 291 00:19:48,995 --> 00:19:51,835 Speaker 1: on Wednesday morning. According to staffers who listened, there was 292 00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:54,955 Speaker 1: a big internal dissension about the internal bleeding report here 293 00:19:55,035 --> 00:19:58,115 Speaker 1: last night. The CBS News staffer who was not authorized 294 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,275 Speaker 1: to speak publicly, said it was viewed as a thinly veiled, 295 00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:04,675 Speaker 1: anonymous leak by the Trump administration to someone who'd cares 296 00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:08,195 Speaker 1: Marriott online. Felt too many here, like we were carrying 297 00:20:08,195 --> 00:20:11,275 Speaker 1: water for the admins justifying of the shooting to keep 298 00:20:11,315 --> 00:20:14,635 Speaker 1: our access to our sources, said a network staffer who 299 00:20:14,675 --> 00:20:18,515 Speaker 1: was also not authorized to comment. In other words, the 300 00:20:18,595 --> 00:20:22,315 Speaker 1: C in CBS now stands for corrupted. As to the 301 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,755 Speaker 1: fourth and fifth Homer Simpsons, down the cliff Anchorman to Coppel, 302 00:20:25,795 --> 00:20:30,275 Speaker 1: who I will circle back to and actually defend sorta 303 00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:34,355 Speaker 1: in the Worst Person's segment coming up. Dakoppel scored ten 304 00:20:34,515 --> 00:20:38,275 Speaker 1: out of ten on the cringe Meter twice last week. First, 305 00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:42,475 Speaker 1: he offered to trade jobs with Pittsburgh Areas steel workers, 306 00:20:42,915 --> 00:20:45,835 Speaker 1: and he insisted to them his job is not as 307 00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:49,035 Speaker 1: easy as it looks now that could only be true 308 00:20:49,075 --> 00:20:52,315 Speaker 1: if he still had a soul, and obviously the soul 309 00:20:52,435 --> 00:20:55,595 Speaker 1: went out the window. First. If you don't have a soul, 310 00:20:55,915 --> 00:20:59,235 Speaker 1: being a propagandist who simply repeats what people tell you 311 00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:05,275 Speaker 1: to is really easy job. And then that was one broadcast. 312 00:21:05,395 --> 00:21:08,515 Speaker 1: In another edition, he agreed that Trump's insane threats to 313 00:21:08,555 --> 00:21:12,395 Speaker 1: steal or buy Greenland were not quote an absurd idea, 314 00:21:12,995 --> 00:21:15,315 Speaker 1: unless you follow that up by saying it's the most 315 00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:21,275 Speaker 1: absurd idea he's ever had. Well, Tony, you're full of shit. Also, 316 00:21:21,315 --> 00:21:25,235 Speaker 1: it depends on your definition of that original word absurd. 317 00:21:26,155 --> 00:21:28,755 Speaker 1: Truly absurd? Is Tony Deakoppel thinking he'll still have a 318 00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:33,435 Speaker 1: job in news after this one? The CBS scenario is 319 00:21:33,475 --> 00:21:36,155 Speaker 1: actually summed up not by any of that stuff or 320 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,595 Speaker 1: anything I've said, but by what appears to be the 321 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:43,275 Speaker 1: thread's account of the actor Eric Stoltz. The account Eric 322 00:21:43,355 --> 00:21:48,795 Speaker 1: Stolt's official could be official, replied to someone identifying themselves 323 00:21:48,835 --> 00:21:53,475 Speaker 1: as Molly Carlson. Molly Carlson had written, can someone recommend 324 00:21:53,515 --> 00:21:55,715 Speaker 1: a show that will destroy me emotionally? 325 00:21:56,115 --> 00:22:09,395 Speaker 2: And the answer was CBS News While. 326 00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,835 Speaker 1: We are bidding goodbye to journalism Let's also check in 327 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:16,435 Speaker 1: briefly on stalking horse. A Smith still out there humiliating 328 00:22:16,475 --> 00:22:19,235 Speaker 1: himself on radio every day, possibly in hopes that when 329 00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:22,755 Speaker 1: CBS fires to Kopple, we will hear this is the 330 00:22:22,795 --> 00:22:29,755 Speaker 1: CBS Evening News with Stephen A. Shitt. He still he 331 00:22:29,835 --> 00:22:33,275 Speaker 1: still thinks he's going to be the subject of a 332 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:38,435 Speaker 1: draft Stephen A. Smith for President campaign, or he doesn't 333 00:22:38,515 --> 00:22:44,795 Speaker 1: understand yet that he's just Jill Stein in a tie. 334 00:22:44,995 --> 00:22:47,515 Speaker 1: I'm going to quote some of the insight that has 335 00:22:47,555 --> 00:22:51,915 Speaker 1: given Stephen this serious misunderstanding about where he stands in 336 00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:57,875 Speaker 1: the political firmament. Where he stands is last place. It 337 00:22:57,955 --> 00:23:02,075 Speaker 1: has made him America's leading authority on one thing, though, 338 00:23:02,155 --> 00:23:04,195 Speaker 1: there is an area in which Stephen A. Smith is 339 00:23:04,235 --> 00:23:08,875 Speaker 1: first killing time in any medium. Listen to this. This 340 00:23:09,915 --> 00:23:15,955 Speaker 1: is his political his political raisondetra. This is his political credo, 341 00:23:16,075 --> 00:23:20,075 Speaker 1: his code, his summary of what he and he alone 342 00:23:20,155 --> 00:23:23,475 Speaker 1: understands about where we are right now? Are you ready? 343 00:23:23,915 --> 00:23:26,395 Speaker 1: And I will not, as tempting as it is, try 344 00:23:26,435 --> 00:23:29,955 Speaker 1: to do an impression of this. Just remember it's designed 345 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:35,035 Speaker 1: to fill and kill time. Quote to all the Republicans 346 00:23:35,035 --> 00:23:38,395 Speaker 1: out there, to all the Conservatives out there, you're about 347 00:23:38,395 --> 00:23:40,995 Speaker 1: to lose the midterms. You're going to lose, and you 348 00:23:41,115 --> 00:23:43,595 Speaker 1: might lose the presidency in twenty twenty eight, and it's 349 00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:47,235 Speaker 1: going to be at the fault of your President, Donald Trump. 350 00:23:47,955 --> 00:23:50,555 Speaker 1: He's blowing it for himself. He's going to blow it 351 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:53,155 Speaker 1: for the GOP. He's going to blow it for Congress, 352 00:23:53,275 --> 00:23:55,235 Speaker 1: he's going to blow it for the Senate, and he's 353 00:23:55,275 --> 00:23:57,395 Speaker 1: likely going to blow it for the White House. All 354 00:23:57,435 --> 00:24:00,035 Speaker 1: because of what I said from day one, the man 355 00:24:00,195 --> 00:24:05,955 Speaker 1: don't know how to act. What we're hearing about is chaos, chaos, chaos, 356 00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:09,875 Speaker 1: and oh my lord, we don't need to see this again. 357 00:24:10,435 --> 00:24:16,435 Speaker 1: We don't need to see this again. Well, as the 358 00:24:16,475 --> 00:24:19,835 Speaker 1: cliche goes, we don't need to see this again. We 359 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,515 Speaker 1: don't need to see this again. Every stephen A. Smith 360 00:24:22,595 --> 00:24:30,675 Speaker 1: accusation is a confession. Also of interest here, Yes, it 361 00:24:30,715 --> 00:24:33,195 Speaker 1: has finally happened. The Worst Persons in the World segment 362 00:24:33,275 --> 00:24:37,235 Speaker 1: is about three people who are either my exes or 363 00:24:37,395 --> 00:24:41,315 Speaker 1: are connected to my exes. And if you say that's 364 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:45,675 Speaker 1: statistically impossible, no, no, it's not. In fact, by now 365 00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:49,435 Speaker 1: it's probably a betting favorite by like six to five. 366 00:24:50,195 --> 00:24:52,515 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. 367 00:24:54,515 --> 00:24:57,555 Speaker 2: This is Countdown with Keith old Woman. 368 00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:20,315 Speaker 1: Still ahead on this all new edition of Countdowns. So 369 00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:23,955 Speaker 1: we just passed the thirty fourth anniversary of the beginning 370 00:25:25,075 --> 00:25:28,915 Speaker 1: of one of the great but all two brief friendships 371 00:25:29,035 --> 00:25:34,475 Speaker 1: of my life. I have told my Elizabeth Montgomery story before, 372 00:25:34,555 --> 00:25:37,315 Speaker 1: and I'm going to tell it again, because all these 373 00:25:37,515 --> 00:25:43,235 Speaker 1: years later, I remain bewitched the day I met Lizzie 374 00:25:43,235 --> 00:25:48,555 Speaker 1: Montgomery and we nearly drank ourselves into oblivion. Next in 375 00:25:48,635 --> 00:25:51,835 Speaker 1: things I promised not to tell first, Believe it or not, 376 00:25:51,835 --> 00:25:54,195 Speaker 1: there's still more new idiots to talk about, the roundup 377 00:25:54,195 --> 00:25:57,595 Speaker 1: of the misgrants, morons and Dunning Krueger effects specimens who 378 00:25:57,595 --> 00:26:04,315 Speaker 1: constitute today's other worst persons in the world. And I 379 00:26:04,355 --> 00:26:08,235 Speaker 1: have all always known this would happen, that someday the 380 00:26:08,315 --> 00:26:11,755 Speaker 1: bad decisions I have made, the lack of judgment I 381 00:26:11,755 --> 00:26:16,515 Speaker 1: have perfected, would all align and create something like this. 382 00:26:16,755 --> 00:26:19,955 Speaker 1: I knew it was inevitable, and yet I went on 383 00:26:20,315 --> 00:26:26,075 Speaker 1: for year after year to quote Churchill in strange paradox, 384 00:26:26,635 --> 00:26:32,395 Speaker 1: decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant 385 00:26:32,515 --> 00:26:42,955 Speaker 1: for drift, solid for fluidity, all powerful, to be impotent. Well, 386 00:26:43,035 --> 00:26:45,635 Speaker 1: Le'll just skip impotent for the moment. But here it is. 387 00:26:46,395 --> 00:26:49,595 Speaker 1: It's finally happened. All three stories in this edition of 388 00:26:49,635 --> 00:26:57,515 Speaker 1: the Worst Persons are about my exes yep, and I'm 389 00:26:57,555 --> 00:27:02,355 Speaker 1: defending one of them. Sort of Number three is worse 390 00:27:03,115 --> 00:27:06,875 Speaker 1: Laura Ingram sort of standard crap from her. These quotes 391 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:11,195 Speaker 1: are from consecutive nights on her program on the Faku 392 00:27:11,595 --> 00:27:16,635 Speaker 1: News Network. This was Wednesday. Quote. Always remember the best 393 00:27:16,675 --> 00:27:20,755 Speaker 1: propagandists pick and choose data points and disregard others, and 394 00:27:20,835 --> 00:27:23,275 Speaker 1: they do that to whip up public sentiment in their 395 00:27:23,315 --> 00:27:27,835 Speaker 1: preferred direction. Unquote. So that's Wednesday. Then on Thursday, Laura 396 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:32,755 Speaker 1: picked and chose data points and disregarded others to whip 397 00:27:32,835 --> 00:27:36,635 Speaker 1: up public sentiment in their preferred direction. Quoting her again, 398 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:40,195 Speaker 1: mouse Man of soud ends by an Alay. I want 399 00:27:40,235 --> 00:27:42,715 Speaker 1: to say this tonight because folks have reached out to 400 00:27:42,755 --> 00:27:48,515 Speaker 1: me support ICE. The most recent population data for the 401 00:27:48,555 --> 00:27:51,555 Speaker 1: state of Minnesota is five million, eight hundred and forty 402 00:27:51,555 --> 00:27:55,195 Speaker 1: two thousand, three hundred and eighty eight residents, So most 403 00:27:55,275 --> 00:27:58,715 Speaker 1: Minnesotans would have to be two million, nine hundred and 404 00:27:58,755 --> 00:28:03,915 Speaker 1: twenty one thousand, one hundred and ninety five Minnesotans or more. 405 00:28:04,755 --> 00:28:08,915 Speaker 1: Laura Ingram is claiming that two million, nine and twenty 406 00:28:08,995 --> 00:28:12,995 Speaker 1: one and ninety five Minnesotans have reached out to her 407 00:28:13,035 --> 00:28:17,355 Speaker 1: to tell her that most Minnesotans prefer and support Ice. 408 00:28:19,235 --> 00:28:23,115 Speaker 1: I always remember the best propagandist pick and tuesdata points 409 00:28:23,115 --> 00:28:27,195 Speaker 1: in disregard to there. Well, she's she's one of the 410 00:28:27,195 --> 00:28:30,035 Speaker 1: best propagandists. But she would have been one of the 411 00:28:30,075 --> 00:28:33,515 Speaker 1: all time greats if she'd only had the surgery for 412 00:28:33,595 --> 00:28:39,195 Speaker 1: the deviated septum. Now the runner up, Interestingly, someone else 413 00:28:39,235 --> 00:28:42,475 Speaker 1: of whom that could be said Kirsten Cinema. And now 414 00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:45,595 Speaker 1: there are one who talked my aunt hemmy an X. 415 00:28:45,715 --> 00:28:48,395 Speaker 1: Not for long, but she counts. We went the Book 416 00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,115 Speaker 1: of Mormon twice. Iowa was the book and she was 417 00:28:51,115 --> 00:28:55,915 Speaker 1: the Mormon. This was before she started to make real money, 418 00:28:56,475 --> 00:29:00,955 Speaker 1: and it consumed all of her values. I swear she 419 00:29:01,155 --> 00:29:06,915 Speaker 1: had values. She made me look kind of conservative. Anyway, 420 00:29:06,955 --> 00:29:09,555 Speaker 1: this could have happened even if money had not destroyed her, 421 00:29:09,555 --> 00:29:11,435 Speaker 1: because she never made any secret of the fact that 422 00:29:11,475 --> 00:29:15,195 Speaker 1: she did not believe in monogamy. There were no relationships 423 00:29:15,195 --> 00:29:19,635 Speaker 1: in her mind, certainly nothing permanent. She never hid being bisexual. 424 00:29:19,755 --> 00:29:24,475 Speaker 1: Either those are choices or maybe their combination of choices 425 00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:28,475 Speaker 1: and DNA. I don't know. They certainly let anybody who 426 00:29:28,515 --> 00:29:32,475 Speaker 1: got near her make their own choices about her. There 427 00:29:32,475 --> 00:29:36,195 Speaker 1: were no surprises. I mean, I never sat there thinking 428 00:29:36,675 --> 00:29:39,275 Speaker 1: I can change her, she'll be the mother of my children, 429 00:29:39,475 --> 00:29:42,435 Speaker 1: and I never thought we'd get married or anything. But hey, 430 00:29:42,475 --> 00:29:47,315 Speaker 1: she was great company, and she was brilliant. She was still. 431 00:29:47,355 --> 00:29:51,115 Speaker 1: That does not mean this train wreck wasn't inevitable. This one. 432 00:29:51,755 --> 00:29:56,515 Speaker 1: This lawsuit in North Carolina stars Girston Cinema from the 433 00:29:56,675 --> 00:29:59,275 Speaker 1: site Law three point sixty. Cinema is accused of having 434 00:29:59,355 --> 00:30:03,155 Speaker 1: quote destroyed a fourteen year marriage by sustaining an affair 435 00:30:03,195 --> 00:30:06,355 Speaker 1: with a former member of her secre Curity detail and 436 00:30:06,595 --> 00:30:10,915 Speaker 1: US Senate staff, according to a lawsuit that hit North 437 00:30:10,915 --> 00:30:13,755 Speaker 1: Carolina federal court wednesday. Apparently this is just one person. 438 00:30:13,915 --> 00:30:18,315 Speaker 1: That's the only surprise in an alienation of affection complaint. 439 00:30:18,435 --> 00:30:21,515 Speaker 1: And honestly, did you know there were still alienation of 440 00:30:21,555 --> 00:30:26,635 Speaker 1: affection lawsuits in such as reported by Law three sixty. 441 00:30:26,875 --> 00:30:31,995 Speaker 1: Heather Ammel is seeking damages for Cinema's lengthy sexual conversations 442 00:30:32,155 --> 00:30:35,995 Speaker 1: with her ex husband, Matthew mL and coordination of trysts 443 00:30:36,075 --> 00:30:38,755 Speaker 1: around the globe, all of which led to the couple's divorce, 444 00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:43,835 Speaker 1: according to the complaint. Now, I'm gonna spare you the 445 00:30:43,915 --> 00:30:47,755 Speaker 1: texts that are included in the filing because I like 446 00:30:47,835 --> 00:30:51,875 Speaker 1: to reserve terms that are used in these texts, for 447 00:30:52,155 --> 00:30:56,115 Speaker 1: you know, swearing about Trump. But I will say, you know, 448 00:30:56,195 --> 00:30:58,675 Speaker 1: none of those texts would have made the top ten 449 00:30:58,755 --> 00:31:02,955 Speaker 1: of Cinema's All time. You sure you wanted to write 450 00:31:02,955 --> 00:31:08,955 Speaker 1: that where people could screenshot it, Keith asked, texts. There's 451 00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,475 Speaker 1: a reference in this suit to her having had multiple 452 00:31:11,515 --> 00:31:14,835 Speaker 1: affairs with multiple members of her security detail, some men, 453 00:31:14,995 --> 00:31:18,275 Speaker 1: some women. One of the women may have been related 454 00:31:18,275 --> 00:31:21,595 Speaker 1: to a member of the Trump cabinet, and that would 455 00:31:21,635 --> 00:31:23,515 Speaker 1: also be par for the course. The first time I 456 00:31:23,555 --> 00:31:25,395 Speaker 1: ever talked to her, she explained her office was a 457 00:31:25,395 --> 00:31:27,395 Speaker 1: little tense at the moment because two of her ex 458 00:31:27,435 --> 00:31:30,315 Speaker 1: friends had just found out about each other and they 459 00:31:30,315 --> 00:31:35,115 Speaker 1: were both still on her staff. This is my ex, 460 00:31:35,355 --> 00:31:39,115 Speaker 1: and this is your assistant, my other ex. My complaints 461 00:31:39,115 --> 00:31:42,595 Speaker 1: about Cinema are not about her lifestyle choices, or or 462 00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:48,595 Speaker 1: her desires in life, or or or her hypercharged engine. 463 00:31:48,715 --> 00:31:51,715 Speaker 1: Let's call it that they are about how she wasted 464 00:31:51,755 --> 00:31:56,955 Speaker 1: her talents. But if your lifestyle choices, or if your 465 00:31:57,435 --> 00:32:00,835 Speaker 1: sexual orientation, which is not a choice but an orientation, 466 00:32:01,355 --> 00:32:04,675 Speaker 1: if these things wind up breaking up other people's marriages 467 00:32:05,755 --> 00:32:07,635 Speaker 1: and you get written up in a lawsuit because you 468 00:32:07,715 --> 00:32:11,315 Speaker 1: just couldn't control yourself within any boundaries whatsoever, maybe you 469 00:32:11,315 --> 00:32:14,315 Speaker 1: ought to see a doctor or or at least a 470 00:32:14,355 --> 00:32:21,035 Speaker 1: mechanic for your hyper engine. Maybe. But the winner, the worst, 471 00:32:21,515 --> 00:32:26,715 Speaker 1: Megan Kelly. No, not one of my exes, thank god, 472 00:32:27,275 --> 00:32:30,475 Speaker 1: thank god. I've made bad choices. But I wouldn't make 473 00:32:30,555 --> 00:32:35,675 Speaker 1: that bad choice. Not with your choice, buddy. But she 474 00:32:35,795 --> 00:32:38,755 Speaker 1: went beyond all barriers, even on this topic, and even 475 00:32:38,835 --> 00:32:41,955 Speaker 1: for her, even since she lost all control of her 476 00:32:42,115 --> 00:32:45,835 Speaker 1: tiny little mind, even since her rage consumed her. She 477 00:32:45,955 --> 00:32:50,195 Speaker 1: attacked Tony da Koppel, the new anchor of the formerly 478 00:32:50,315 --> 00:32:55,475 Speaker 1: CBS formerly Evening formerly News. All right, he's the soon 479 00:32:55,555 --> 00:32:58,795 Speaker 1: to be new ex anchor of the formerly CBS formerly Evening, 480 00:32:58,835 --> 00:33:00,875 Speaker 1: formerly News. Because it is one thing to be a 481 00:33:00,875 --> 00:33:03,915 Speaker 1: fascist and to be hated and ignored. But as Barry, 482 00:33:03,995 --> 00:33:06,355 Speaker 1: I kissed a T and I liked it. Wewis and 483 00:33:06,475 --> 00:33:09,875 Speaker 1: Tony Jacoppel, and more importantly those Ellison scumbags are discovering 484 00:33:09,995 --> 00:33:12,955 Speaker 1: it is something else altogether to be a fascist and 485 00:33:12,995 --> 00:33:15,995 Speaker 1: to be hated and to be ignored and to be 486 00:33:16,155 --> 00:33:20,715 Speaker 1: laughed at, and to lose money hand over fist, which 487 00:33:20,755 --> 00:33:25,275 Speaker 1: is what the new CBS formerly CBS formerly Evening formerly 488 00:33:25,355 --> 00:33:29,755 Speaker 1: News with formerly Tony Jacoppel is doing. And all that 489 00:33:29,955 --> 00:33:33,115 Speaker 1: is true. He deserves almost everything he gets for this, 490 00:33:33,515 --> 00:33:36,035 Speaker 1: and so does Barry weiss and so do the Ellisons. 491 00:33:36,155 --> 00:33:39,035 Speaker 1: But that's still Megan Kelly does not mean you can 492 00:33:39,115 --> 00:33:43,675 Speaker 1: say what you said about this guy. I'm quoting Megan Kelly. 493 00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:46,875 Speaker 1: CBS Evening News is officially launched with its new anchor 494 00:33:47,355 --> 00:33:52,275 Speaker 1: Topra ducoppol. That's what I call him. She's nothing if 495 00:33:52,315 --> 00:33:56,395 Speaker 1: not clever. That's right, She's nothing. That's what I call him. 496 00:33:56,395 --> 00:33:59,315 Speaker 1: Because he's crying and constantly trying to therapize us through 497 00:33:59,355 --> 00:34:02,595 Speaker 1: the news. I should do it in a Megan Kelly voice. 498 00:34:02,715 --> 00:34:06,875 Speaker 1: I figured it out so like Barry weiss Is, and 499 00:34:06,995 --> 00:34:08,835 Speaker 1: I can't do that voice. It hurts my voice. So 500 00:34:08,915 --> 00:34:11,875 Speaker 1: like Barry weiss Is, Megan Kelly said she's an out 501 00:34:11,955 --> 00:34:14,875 Speaker 1: lesbian and she's in a marriage to another woman. I'm saying, 502 00:34:14,955 --> 00:34:19,035 Speaker 1: this is a lesbian's idea of what women want, Like 503 00:34:19,235 --> 00:34:22,315 Speaker 1: he's sweet, he's soft, Like this is what this is 504 00:34:22,355 --> 00:34:25,635 Speaker 1: going to sell? No no, no, no, no no no. 505 00:34:25,675 --> 00:34:28,595 Speaker 1: We want someone with balls, with a spine, someone who 506 00:34:28,595 --> 00:34:31,955 Speaker 1: will protect us, Somebody who like, when the burglar comes, 507 00:34:31,955 --> 00:34:37,035 Speaker 1: will be the first out the door. It's an interesting phrase. Hey, 508 00:34:37,035 --> 00:34:39,675 Speaker 1: there's a burglar here. See ya, Hun, I'm the first 509 00:34:39,715 --> 00:34:42,515 Speaker 1: out the door, first at the door. 510 00:34:42,595 --> 00:34:43,475 Speaker 2: Maybe. 511 00:34:43,595 --> 00:34:46,515 Speaker 1: Okay, Anyway, as I may have mentioned, I'm not sure 512 00:34:46,635 --> 00:34:48,675 Speaker 1: did I mention Tony Decoppo as the husband of my 513 00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:52,635 Speaker 1: ex Katie tur I mentioned that? Did I mention about 514 00:34:52,755 --> 00:34:57,395 Speaker 1: ingram and and uh cinema? 515 00:34:57,515 --> 00:34:58,315 Speaker 2: Okay? 516 00:34:59,155 --> 00:35:02,315 Speaker 1: The first time Katie mentioned him to me, she said 517 00:35:02,355 --> 00:35:06,475 Speaker 1: it was funny. He hated me, this new boyfriend of 518 00:35:06,515 --> 00:35:09,355 Speaker 1: hers hated me because he was jealous that she and 519 00:35:09,395 --> 00:35:15,075 Speaker 1: I had lived together. That's a bad start. I think 520 00:35:15,235 --> 00:35:19,595 Speaker 1: he's shallow. I think he's inexplicably embittered given his level 521 00:35:19,675 --> 00:35:23,355 Speaker 1: of success without all that much skill or talent. He 522 00:35:23,475 --> 00:35:25,315 Speaker 1: kind of gives to me a vibe of what would 523 00:35:25,315 --> 00:35:27,715 Speaker 1: have happened if Ferris Bueller had grown up and his 524 00:35:27,795 --> 00:35:30,155 Speaker 1: boyish charm had run out and people were just tired 525 00:35:30,195 --> 00:35:33,355 Speaker 1: of his act, and you can criticize like a thousand 526 00:35:33,395 --> 00:35:35,515 Speaker 1: things about his work on the CBS Evening News and 527 00:35:35,555 --> 00:35:38,635 Speaker 1: the Morning Show before it, and maybe more about him 528 00:35:38,675 --> 00:35:41,155 Speaker 1: as a person, But to insist he's a lesbian's idea 529 00:35:41,195 --> 00:35:46,275 Speaker 1: of what women want is not only sexist and you know, 530 00:35:47,555 --> 00:35:54,715 Speaker 1: definitely anti LGBTQ. It's offensive to every group. But more importantly, 531 00:35:54,755 --> 00:35:57,875 Speaker 1: maybe it's irrelevant. I mean, turn that around and say 532 00:35:58,075 --> 00:36:01,475 Speaker 1: when NBC burned fifty million to hire Megan Kellen Kelly 533 00:36:01,515 --> 00:36:04,355 Speaker 1: away from Fox, it was because she was some gay 534 00:36:04,435 --> 00:36:06,955 Speaker 1: man idea of what men want. You couldn't say that 535 00:36:06,995 --> 00:36:09,115 Speaker 1: in a million years and get away with it. And 536 00:36:09,155 --> 00:36:12,035 Speaker 1: what in the hell would it mean or would you 537 00:36:12,075 --> 00:36:14,475 Speaker 1: say it about her husband that Megan Kelly is some 538 00:36:15,075 --> 00:36:17,915 Speaker 1: gay man's idea of what men want in a wife. 539 00:36:18,955 --> 00:36:22,915 Speaker 1: What does it mean? And how dare you say it? 540 00:36:22,995 --> 00:36:26,555 Speaker 1: Criticized him into the ground for his work, for his smugness, 541 00:36:26,755 --> 00:36:30,115 Speaker 1: for his inability to recognize he's being used by tech 542 00:36:30,195 --> 00:36:34,075 Speaker 1: bros And politicians, and he's now in the process of 543 00:36:34,115 --> 00:36:37,115 Speaker 1: being set up by them so they can blame him 544 00:36:37,155 --> 00:36:39,355 Speaker 1: and bury him when they finally have to blow up 545 00:36:39,355 --> 00:36:46,915 Speaker 1: the newscast again. But Jesus, the six time winner in 546 00:36:46,995 --> 00:36:52,235 Speaker 1: the Worldwide Shrill Competition is going to insult Tony D. 547 00:36:52,355 --> 00:37:01,555 Speaker 1: Koppel's appeal to women seriously. So there's Katie's entry, and 548 00:37:01,595 --> 00:37:08,035 Speaker 1: there's Kirsten's entry in more Ingram's entry Anyway, Megan who 549 00:37:08,075 --> 00:37:12,355 Speaker 1: could have been the model for Edvard Monk's pictures of 550 00:37:12,435 --> 00:37:21,395 Speaker 1: the Scream Kelly two Day's worst X or sex related person. 551 00:37:21,715 --> 00:37:22,515 Speaker 2: In the world. 552 00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:40,675 Speaker 1: Elizabeth Montgomery, one of the most famous actresses of the 553 00:37:40,755 --> 00:37:44,915 Speaker 1: nineteen sixties and nineteen seventies, star of the TV series Bewitched, 554 00:37:45,435 --> 00:37:48,435 Speaker 1: daughter of a famous actor, Robert Montgomery, and my friend 555 00:37:48,875 --> 00:37:52,355 Speaker 1: from early on the morning of January fourteenth, nineteen ninety two, 556 00:37:53,075 --> 00:37:55,155 Speaker 1: until she died in the spring of nineteen ninety five. 557 00:37:55,835 --> 00:38:00,475 Speaker 1: Our friendship happened only because of one thing. My sister 558 00:38:01,115 --> 00:38:03,795 Speaker 1: had given me a book about one of our favorite topics, 559 00:38:04,675 --> 00:38:07,235 Speaker 1: never to be solved, mystery of Lizzie Borden and the 560 00:38:07,275 --> 00:38:12,675 Speaker 1: Borden family axe murders of eighteen ninety two in Fall River, Massachusetts. Yes, 561 00:38:12,955 --> 00:38:16,315 Speaker 1: We're weird. And also the fact that Elizabeth Montgomery had 562 00:38:16,355 --> 00:38:20,115 Speaker 1: played Lizzie Borden in a TV movie. So on January fourteenth, 563 00:38:20,195 --> 00:38:22,595 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety two, as I sat waiting for our flight 564 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:25,555 Speaker 1: to leave ICJFK Airport in New York from my then 565 00:38:25,555 --> 00:38:28,315 Speaker 1: home in Los Angeles. Then I began to read from 566 00:38:28,355 --> 00:38:32,995 Speaker 1: my airplane seat my sister's gift from the aisle from 567 00:38:32,995 --> 00:38:35,555 Speaker 1: the last one to board, I hear the voice of 568 00:38:35,595 --> 00:38:40,075 Speaker 1: Elizabeth Montgomery saying to me, Oh, Keith, you're reading about me. 569 00:38:41,475 --> 00:38:46,555 Speaker 1: She was a gas my brief but eternal friendship with 570 00:38:46,595 --> 00:38:49,995 Speaker 1: Lizzie Montgomery and the eternal lesson she taught me in 571 00:38:50,035 --> 00:38:52,035 Speaker 1: one moment. Please while I first explained what I was 572 00:38:52,075 --> 00:38:55,395 Speaker 1: doing on that flight. A month or two earlier, I 573 00:38:55,435 --> 00:38:58,755 Speaker 1: had agreed to join ESPN to co host Sports Center 574 00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,795 Speaker 1: with Dan Patrick starting in late March nineteen ninety two. 575 00:39:02,315 --> 00:39:05,475 Speaker 1: I had just finished up three financially rewarded but souls 576 00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:08,275 Speaker 1: sucking years at Channel two in Los Angeles, and I 577 00:39:08,355 --> 00:39:10,195 Speaker 1: was going to go to Hawaii for three months and 578 00:39:10,275 --> 00:39:14,395 Speaker 1: just live there until I felt better. On Monday, December thirtieth, 579 00:39:14,515 --> 00:39:17,355 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety one, I had literally just opened my address 580 00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:19,675 Speaker 1: book to find the number of a travel agent I 581 00:39:19,755 --> 00:39:22,475 Speaker 1: knew to make the Hawaii arrangements. I was reaching for 582 00:39:22,515 --> 00:39:26,915 Speaker 1: the phone when the phone rang It was my business 583 00:39:26,955 --> 00:39:28,835 Speaker 1: agent who had just gotten off the phone with my 584 00:39:28,915 --> 00:39:32,155 Speaker 1: new ESPN boss, John Walsh. He and they were launching 585 00:39:32,195 --> 00:39:35,675 Speaker 1: a new radio network in five days. I found this 586 00:39:35,835 --> 00:39:40,355 Speaker 1: interesting but not particularly relevant. ESPN was one thing. Then 587 00:39:40,395 --> 00:39:44,035 Speaker 1: it was one TV network, no magazine, no radio, no ESPN, 588 00:39:44,075 --> 00:39:48,195 Speaker 1: the OHO. So this was their first big move outwards. 589 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:51,595 Speaker 1: The radio network would start with only two seven hour 590 00:39:51,675 --> 00:39:54,795 Speaker 1: shows on Saturday and Sunday nights. And Walsh explained to 591 00:39:54,795 --> 00:39:56,515 Speaker 1: my agent that everything was going great and they were 592 00:39:56,595 --> 00:39:58,555 Speaker 1: right on target, and they had great guests lined up 593 00:39:58,675 --> 00:40:00,915 Speaker 1: for the first weekend, like Ronald Reagan, and they only 594 00:40:00,955 --> 00:40:03,275 Speaker 1: had one tiny problem. They needed three hosts, and they 595 00:40:03,275 --> 00:40:06,675 Speaker 1: had two terrific hostsrific hosts, one Keith worked with named 596 00:40:06,715 --> 00:40:09,275 Speaker 1: Tony Bruno, and another terrific, just terrific host from Providence 597 00:40:09,355 --> 00:40:11,435 Speaker 1: named Chuck Wilson. And they tried this guy as the 598 00:40:11,435 --> 00:40:13,315 Speaker 1: third host, and that guy, and this guy and that guy, 599 00:40:13,355 --> 00:40:15,275 Speaker 1: and all told, forty different people had tried out to 600 00:40:15,275 --> 00:40:17,555 Speaker 1: be hosts. They had nobody, nobody to be the third host, 601 00:40:17,595 --> 00:40:19,315 Speaker 1: who was any good cook. Keith just come here just 602 00:40:19,315 --> 00:40:21,315 Speaker 1: for the first weekend, just to get it off the ground. 603 00:40:21,315 --> 00:40:22,675 Speaker 1: Then he can go back to LA and come back 604 00:40:22,715 --> 00:40:25,275 Speaker 1: here in March takeover Sports Center. Please please please get 605 00:40:25,355 --> 00:40:27,555 Speaker 1: Keith help us, please, because if he Canada, what on 606 00:40:27,595 --> 00:40:28,395 Speaker 1: earth they're going to do him? 607 00:40:28,395 --> 00:40:28,675 Speaker 2: Please? 608 00:40:28,715 --> 00:40:34,035 Speaker 1: Please please? As I said to my agent, well all right, 609 00:40:34,235 --> 00:40:38,155 Speaker 1: I suppose at least way, at least a ESPN will 610 00:40:38,155 --> 00:40:43,675 Speaker 1: always think of me as a team player. So instead 611 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:49,275 Speaker 1: of going to Hawaii in January, I go to Bristol, 612 00:40:49,315 --> 00:40:53,355 Speaker 1: Connecticut in January, and I go stay at my folks 613 00:40:53,355 --> 00:40:55,355 Speaker 1: house outside New York City, and a friend I had 614 00:40:55,355 --> 00:40:58,435 Speaker 1: recommended to help ESPN launch their radio network offers me 615 00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:00,755 Speaker 1: a ride up to ESPN for the weekend, and it's 616 00:41:00,835 --> 00:41:03,475 Speaker 1: like twenty degrees and we get out of his car 617 00:41:03,515 --> 00:41:06,035 Speaker 1: and his parking lot. Three spots over getting out of 618 00:41:06,075 --> 00:41:08,835 Speaker 1: his car in the parking lot is Chris Berman, who 619 00:41:08,875 --> 00:41:11,555 Speaker 1: I went to high school with, and already in January 620 00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:14,795 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety two, when I'm not quite thirty three years old, 621 00:41:15,075 --> 00:41:17,435 Speaker 1: I already know Chris for twenty years. And before I 622 00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:21,315 Speaker 1: can say hey, he screams, listen, we have a good 623 00:41:21,595 --> 00:41:28,875 Speaker 1: thing going here, don't f it up. And I say 624 00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:31,395 Speaker 1: good to see you too, Chris, and I remind myself 625 00:41:31,395 --> 00:41:34,115 Speaker 1: it's only till Monday, and I meet the gang, and 626 00:41:34,115 --> 00:41:36,275 Speaker 1: then I go to the hotel and the hotel is beige. 627 00:41:36,355 --> 00:41:38,995 Speaker 1: The walls are beige, the carpets are beige, the guests 628 00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:40,955 Speaker 1: are beige, the food is beige. The only thing that 629 00:41:40,995 --> 00:41:44,195 Speaker 1: isn't beige is the six inches of snow that falls overnight, 630 00:41:44,235 --> 00:41:47,875 Speaker 1: and remind myself it's only till Monday. The launch of 631 00:41:47,915 --> 00:41:50,955 Speaker 1: the network on Saturday goes well. They have me interview 632 00:41:51,035 --> 00:41:54,235 Speaker 1: Ronald Reagan about something in football. The Sunday Night Show 633 00:41:54,275 --> 00:41:55,835 Speaker 1: is going well too, and we're trying to figure out 634 00:41:55,835 --> 00:41:58,435 Speaker 1: where the big baseball free agent of that winner, Danny 635 00:41:58,475 --> 00:42:02,355 Speaker 1: Tartable is going to sign. And we're interviewing Bobby Valentine, 636 00:42:02,355 --> 00:42:04,075 Speaker 1: who was the manager of the Texas Rangers, and they 637 00:42:04,075 --> 00:42:05,755 Speaker 1: were one of the teams rumored to be a likely 638 00:42:05,835 --> 00:42:08,515 Speaker 1: landing for Tartable. And I asked Valentine, he says, no, 639 00:42:08,595 --> 00:42:11,155 Speaker 1: not anymore. They just canceled their trip. I was supposed 640 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:13,155 Speaker 1: to go meet them at the airport tonight. I think 641 00:42:13,195 --> 00:42:15,955 Speaker 1: he signed with somebody else. And the alarm bells go 642 00:42:15,995 --> 00:42:17,475 Speaker 1: off in my head and I tell the producer, let's 643 00:42:17,475 --> 00:42:19,835 Speaker 1: call everybody we know in baseball and put them on 644 00:42:19,915 --> 00:42:22,955 Speaker 1: and figure out where Danny Tartabule is going. I have 645 00:42:22,995 --> 00:42:24,875 Speaker 1: a source who knows his agent. Let me call him. 646 00:42:25,315 --> 00:42:28,755 Speaker 1: We'll go story chasing. So we spend four hours following 647 00:42:28,795 --> 00:42:32,355 Speaker 1: the story in real time, and it's great radio, and 648 00:42:32,435 --> 00:42:34,355 Speaker 1: we're coming up on the last hour and our guests 649 00:42:34,395 --> 00:42:37,915 Speaker 1: have helped us eliminate like thirty teams out of twenty eight. 650 00:42:38,395 --> 00:42:40,955 Speaker 1: But we're not sure where Tartable is going still, and 651 00:42:40,995 --> 00:42:43,475 Speaker 1: the producer says, if only we had his home phone number. 652 00:42:43,515 --> 00:42:47,195 Speaker 1: And I look at the producer and go, oh crap, sorry, 653 00:42:47,555 --> 00:42:49,675 Speaker 1: and I grabbed my address book and I explain he 654 00:42:49,795 --> 00:42:52,435 Speaker 1: was my co host. Tartabule was on some of our 655 00:42:52,995 --> 00:42:56,755 Speaker 1: baseball postgame shows in La Lash. I'm sorry, I forgot 656 00:42:57,035 --> 00:43:00,075 Speaker 1: I had his number all this time. Hang on. So 657 00:43:00,115 --> 00:43:02,835 Speaker 1: I called Danny Tartabule and just as our last hour 658 00:43:02,915 --> 00:43:06,315 Speaker 1: on Sunday Night is starting back, and I say to him, look, 659 00:43:06,955 --> 00:43:09,635 Speaker 1: we know you've decided it's all over baseball. It's got 660 00:43:09,675 --> 00:43:11,235 Speaker 1: to be the Phillies, the Mets are the Yankees. And 661 00:43:11,275 --> 00:43:14,955 Speaker 1: he's saying, correctly, I can't tell you. And I said, 662 00:43:15,115 --> 00:43:17,715 Speaker 1: give me one guess and just tell me if I'm wrong, 663 00:43:17,755 --> 00:43:20,155 Speaker 1: and I will call you a source close to the negotiations, 664 00:43:20,195 --> 00:43:22,835 Speaker 1: that's all. And he says okay, And I say, is 665 00:43:22,915 --> 00:43:24,915 Speaker 1: it a team that wears pin stripes? And of course 666 00:43:24,955 --> 00:43:27,235 Speaker 1: the Phillies, the Mets, and the Yankees all wear pinstripes, 667 00:43:27,275 --> 00:43:29,275 Speaker 1: so he laughs and he says yes. And I say, 668 00:43:29,395 --> 00:43:31,395 Speaker 1: is it the team I grew up a fan of? 669 00:43:32,035 --> 00:43:34,195 Speaker 1: And he says, what team did you grow up a 670 00:43:34,235 --> 00:43:36,235 Speaker 1: fan of? And by the way, the phone call is 671 00:43:36,275 --> 00:43:39,555 Speaker 1: taking place with me on the floor of the studio 672 00:43:39,755 --> 00:43:41,795 Speaker 1: in which the other two hosts are live on the 673 00:43:41,835 --> 00:43:45,355 Speaker 1: new radio network. So I whispered, its Artable. If I 674 00:43:45,435 --> 00:43:50,035 Speaker 1: say it to the Yankees? Am I wrong? And he says, 675 00:43:50,235 --> 00:43:53,915 Speaker 1: I can't tell you and starts whispering. But off the record, 676 00:43:53,915 --> 00:43:56,355 Speaker 1: the press conference is Wednesday at Yankee Stadium. Is that 677 00:43:56,435 --> 00:43:59,195 Speaker 1: enough for you, you bastard? And of course I said no, 678 00:43:59,315 --> 00:44:00,875 Speaker 1: come on the show and tell us come on and 679 00:44:00,915 --> 00:44:03,195 Speaker 1: he laughs and says I'll see you Wednesday and hangs up. 680 00:44:03,195 --> 00:44:04,475 Speaker 1: And I get up and I sit in the vacant 681 00:44:04,515 --> 00:44:07,875 Speaker 1: chair and I can say breaking news. ESPN report now 682 00:44:07,875 --> 00:44:10,555 Speaker 1: that the free agent alfielder Danny Tartable has agreed to 683 00:44:10,595 --> 00:44:13,395 Speaker 1: a multi year deal with the New York Yankees. Sources 684 00:44:13,515 --> 00:44:15,835 Speaker 1: close to the negotiations say there will be a press 685 00:44:15,835 --> 00:44:18,875 Speaker 1: conference Wednesday at Yankee Stadium, and the other hosts are 686 00:44:18,915 --> 00:44:20,835 Speaker 1: trying not to crack up because they know I've just 687 00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:24,115 Speaker 1: been talking too Tartable from the phone in the same 688 00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:30,315 Speaker 1: room with them. Well, this story explodes way more than 689 00:44:30,315 --> 00:44:33,515 Speaker 1: it deserved. It's a dull Sunday night. It's still early 690 00:44:33,635 --> 00:44:35,555 Speaker 1: enough in the evening that the story makes all the 691 00:44:35,555 --> 00:44:39,035 Speaker 1: Monday newspapers and it's attributed not to ESPN or to 692 00:44:39,155 --> 00:44:43,155 Speaker 1: Sports Center, but to the brand new ESPN Radio Network 693 00:44:43,155 --> 00:44:45,675 Speaker 1: on its second day in business. And it's on the 694 00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:48,555 Speaker 1: front page of USA Today and the New York Times. 695 00:44:48,835 --> 00:44:52,275 Speaker 1: New ESPN Radio network makes splash with tartabules scoop the 696 00:44:52,275 --> 00:44:55,435 Speaker 1: next morning. And I can't tell you how big a 697 00:44:55,515 --> 00:44:59,915 Speaker 1: deal that was back then in nineteen ninety two. So now, 698 00:44:59,955 --> 00:45:02,355 Speaker 1: instead of going back to LA on Monday and maybe 699 00:45:02,395 --> 00:45:04,795 Speaker 1: to Hawaii on Tuesday, as I had planned, I have 700 00:45:04,875 --> 00:45:06,715 Speaker 1: to go to the press conference at Yankee Stadium to 701 00:45:06,755 --> 00:45:08,995 Speaker 1: say hi to Tartable on Wednesday and sort of thank 702 00:45:09,075 --> 00:45:12,075 Speaker 1: him for this coop. And on Tuesday, this guy John 703 00:45:12,115 --> 00:45:14,835 Speaker 1: Walls from ESPN calls me, and my agent says, look, 704 00:45:14,875 --> 00:45:16,755 Speaker 1: we have to take advantage of this. It's the best 705 00:45:16,755 --> 00:45:19,235 Speaker 1: possible start we could have hoped for for the radio network. 706 00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:22,515 Speaker 1: Keith has to stay with us for the next three months. 707 00:45:22,875 --> 00:45:24,955 Speaker 1: Why doesn't he stay in and do this weekend and 708 00:45:24,995 --> 00:45:26,835 Speaker 1: then go back to LA and pack up his apartment 709 00:45:26,835 --> 00:45:28,675 Speaker 1: and then come back here the weekend after that. And 710 00:45:28,995 --> 00:45:33,035 Speaker 1: and I say again to my agent, well, at least 711 00:45:33,315 --> 00:45:36,395 Speaker 1: ESPN will always think of me as a team player 712 00:45:36,435 --> 00:45:42,915 Speaker 1: if I do this a so I am not in 713 00:45:42,995 --> 00:45:45,955 Speaker 1: Hawaii and instead I am on board this flight. When 714 00:45:45,955 --> 00:45:49,195 Speaker 1: Elizabeth Montgomery walks down the aisle and sees my Lizzie 715 00:45:49,195 --> 00:45:52,155 Speaker 1: Borden book given to me by my sister and says, ooh, Keith, 716 00:45:52,195 --> 00:45:55,075 Speaker 1: you're reading about me. Hi, I'm Lizzie Montgomery. I'm a 717 00:45:55,075 --> 00:45:57,755 Speaker 1: big fan of yours. Is that seat taken? And I say, 718 00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,395 Speaker 1: the hell if I care, sit down. And the only 719 00:46:00,475 --> 00:46:02,755 Speaker 1: time we're not talking for the next six hours is 720 00:46:02,755 --> 00:46:06,795 Speaker 1: when we are drinking leave. If I remember this correctly, 721 00:46:07,115 --> 00:46:10,475 Speaker 1: they had to send up a champagne refueling flight halfway 722 00:46:10,475 --> 00:46:14,435 Speaker 1: to LA And she's a huge sports fan. Her father 723 00:46:14,515 --> 00:46:16,315 Speaker 1: was a founder of one of the southern California horse 724 00:46:16,395 --> 00:46:19,035 Speaker 1: racing tracks, and she loves the Lakers, and she thinks 725 00:46:19,075 --> 00:46:21,355 Speaker 1: she was related to Lizzie Borden. Did I ever see 726 00:46:21,395 --> 00:46:23,835 Speaker 1: the European version of her Lizzie bordon film where they 727 00:46:23,875 --> 00:46:25,915 Speaker 1: show the wide shots where they make it look like 728 00:46:25,955 --> 00:46:28,595 Speaker 1: she's nude, And I say, I'm absolutely certain I have not. 729 00:46:29,675 --> 00:46:32,235 Speaker 1: And her son and her driver and her rolls Royce 730 00:46:32,275 --> 00:46:34,315 Speaker 1: meet us at Lax and she wants me to see 731 00:46:34,315 --> 00:46:36,675 Speaker 1: her house, and then her driver and her rolls Royce 732 00:46:36,715 --> 00:46:38,275 Speaker 1: will give me a lyft home. And oh, by the way, 733 00:46:38,275 --> 00:46:40,235 Speaker 1: she's flying back to New York in a week, should 734 00:46:40,275 --> 00:46:45,275 Speaker 1: we become flying buddies. On that trip, our flight gets 735 00:46:45,355 --> 00:46:47,875 Speaker 1: canceled and we have to find a new one. I'm 736 00:46:47,915 --> 00:46:50,475 Speaker 1: hand carrying a lot of more more valuable baseball cards, 737 00:46:50,515 --> 00:46:53,235 Speaker 1: including like five hundred different from the year nineteen oh nine, 738 00:46:53,515 --> 00:46:55,715 Speaker 1: and she wants to see them, and she wants me 739 00:46:55,755 --> 00:46:58,915 Speaker 1: to tell her something about each player while we drink again. 740 00:46:59,835 --> 00:47:01,715 Speaker 1: And we land and she says, how you getting to 741 00:47:01,755 --> 00:47:04,115 Speaker 1: your folks house? And I say, well, I'm going to 742 00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:06,635 Speaker 1: get a car here or something, and she said, no, 743 00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:08,115 Speaker 1: you're not. I'll give you a lift in my limo 744 00:47:08,355 --> 00:47:12,275 Speaker 1: going right past your house, and sure enough we get there, 745 00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:14,995 Speaker 1: and as Lizzie Montgomery's limo is taking me to my 746 00:47:15,115 --> 00:47:18,195 Speaker 1: folks house at ten o'clock at night, she says, will 747 00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:20,075 Speaker 1: they still be up? Your folks want to play a 748 00:47:20,075 --> 00:47:23,555 Speaker 1: practical joke on them. So two minutes later, I knock 749 00:47:23,635 --> 00:47:25,475 Speaker 1: on the door of my childhood home and my father 750 00:47:25,555 --> 00:47:28,835 Speaker 1: opens it instead of seeing me, it's her in the doorway, 751 00:47:28,915 --> 00:47:31,715 Speaker 1: and she says, Hi, mister oldman, I'm Lizzie. I'm a 752 00:47:31,715 --> 00:47:34,835 Speaker 1: friend of Keith's. Can he come out and play? And 753 00:47:34,915 --> 00:47:37,875 Speaker 1: my dad goes silent for the only time I in 754 00:47:37,955 --> 00:47:40,915 Speaker 1: my life, And now my mother appears, so Lizzie can 755 00:47:40,955 --> 00:47:44,235 Speaker 1: pull the same routine on her. Hi, missus olverman, I'm Lizzie. 756 00:47:44,235 --> 00:47:45,875 Speaker 1: I'm a friend of Keiths. Can he come out and play? 757 00:47:45,915 --> 00:47:48,475 Speaker 1: And now my mother is silent for the only time 758 00:47:48,475 --> 00:47:54,075 Speaker 1: in my life, I might add. I thought Lizzie looked fabulous, 759 00:47:54,115 --> 00:47:56,435 Speaker 1: and I looked her up in Hallowell's Film Guide and 760 00:47:56,475 --> 00:47:58,355 Speaker 1: I saw she was forty eight, and I thought, boy, 761 00:47:58,435 --> 00:48:00,275 Speaker 1: she looks fabulous for forty eight, And then I realized 762 00:48:00,315 --> 00:48:02,635 Speaker 1: my math is wrong. She was fifty eight, and she 763 00:48:02,795 --> 00:48:05,555 Speaker 1: was a joy We talked I phone every couple of 764 00:48:05,595 --> 00:48:07,715 Speaker 1: weeks after that, and she died three years later of 765 00:48:07,755 --> 00:48:12,235 Speaker 1: colon cancer. But she is with me always, and not 766 00:48:12,475 --> 00:48:16,395 Speaker 1: just as the proverbial force of nature. Within minutes of 767 00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:19,275 Speaker 1: that day we met January fourteenth, nineteen ninety two, she 768 00:48:19,435 --> 00:48:25,075 Speaker 1: bestowed upon me a lesson, an eternal lesson. We were 769 00:48:25,115 --> 00:48:27,475 Speaker 1: a little late taking off, and since she had just 770 00:48:27,555 --> 00:48:30,355 Speaker 1: loudly introduced herself to me like I didn't know who 771 00:48:30,395 --> 00:48:33,715 Speaker 1: she was, anybody on the plane who wasn't sure it 772 00:48:33,755 --> 00:48:37,595 Speaker 1: was her was now sure. As we waited to taxi, 773 00:48:37,715 --> 00:48:39,795 Speaker 1: every man on that plane came over and did the 774 00:48:39,795 --> 00:48:44,195 Speaker 1: same thing. Oh hi, miss Montgomery, excuse me, And they 775 00:48:44,435 --> 00:48:46,875 Speaker 1: give me some sort of nodding acknowledgment, like hey, how 776 00:48:46,955 --> 00:48:49,275 Speaker 1: you doing, as they lean in past me. I was 777 00:48:49,275 --> 00:48:50,875 Speaker 1: a big fan of Bewitch. I know you must get 778 00:48:51,155 --> 00:48:52,635 Speaker 1: asked this a million times a day, but is there 779 00:48:52,635 --> 00:48:54,635 Speaker 1: anything I'm so sorry to ask? Could you do that 780 00:48:54,675 --> 00:48:56,475 Speaker 1: little nose twitch she used to do in the show, 781 00:48:56,715 --> 00:48:58,715 Speaker 1: And she would say, of course, and then she'd do it. 782 00:48:58,755 --> 00:49:01,555 Speaker 1: And these men age twenty two one hundred all then 783 00:49:01,675 --> 00:49:08,115 Speaker 1: giggle like schoolboys. After the thirtieth or thirty first time 784 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:10,795 Speaker 1: this happened, I say to her, Lizzie, I don't know you, 785 00:49:10,915 --> 00:49:14,075 Speaker 1: but I like you a lot already, and your attitude 786 00:49:14,075 --> 00:49:18,755 Speaker 1: towards your fans and the nose twitch is wonderful. And 787 00:49:18,875 --> 00:49:21,395 Speaker 1: I have to tell you, I certainly hope that was 788 00:49:21,435 --> 00:49:23,595 Speaker 1: the last of them, because the next one who comes over, 789 00:49:24,155 --> 00:49:26,075 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to strangle him with my bare 790 00:49:26,075 --> 00:49:29,555 Speaker 1: hands because I can't take it anymore. And for the 791 00:49:29,595 --> 00:49:32,115 Speaker 1: only minutes of all the time I knew her, Elizabeth 792 00:49:32,155 --> 00:49:35,595 Speaker 1: Montgomery got very serious and said, oh, no, Keith, that 793 00:49:35,715 --> 00:49:38,715 Speaker 1: is not the attitude you must have about this. Remind 794 00:49:38,795 --> 00:49:42,795 Speaker 1: me what year did Bewitched go off the air. I 795 00:49:42,835 --> 00:49:47,315 Speaker 1: had to guess, nineteen seventy two, and she said, exactly, good, correct, 796 00:49:47,315 --> 00:49:51,835 Speaker 1: twenty years ago. And these people have remembered that nose 797 00:49:51,955 --> 00:49:56,715 Speaker 1: twitch for twenty years at least Bewitched. Keith is not Hamlet, 798 00:49:57,155 --> 00:49:59,755 Speaker 1: it is not Arthur Miller, it is not the Godfather, 799 00:49:59,835 --> 00:50:03,355 Speaker 1: but they remembered it. This is why you and I 800 00:50:03,435 --> 00:50:06,755 Speaker 1: both do what we do a living. We have transcended 801 00:50:06,795 --> 00:50:09,835 Speaker 1: time with what we do for a living, something artistic, 802 00:50:09,955 --> 00:50:12,755 Speaker 1: something creative, no matter how small, that we have done. 803 00:50:13,355 --> 00:50:16,515 Speaker 1: They have remembered it. People do it with you, I'm sure, 804 00:50:16,795 --> 00:50:19,315 Speaker 1: and I'm sure they'll continue to. And what you do 805 00:50:19,395 --> 00:50:23,195 Speaker 1: then is you say thank you for remembering, as if 806 00:50:23,195 --> 00:50:26,355 Speaker 1: they were the only one who ever remembered, because that's 807 00:50:26,675 --> 00:50:30,835 Speaker 1: why we do this, because they remembered me from twenty 808 00:50:30,915 --> 00:50:37,515 Speaker 1: years ago for a stupid little nose twitch, duly chastised, 809 00:50:38,395 --> 00:50:44,835 Speaker 1: I apologized, and the huge, welcoming, conspiratorial, permanent friendship sexy 810 00:50:44,955 --> 00:50:49,555 Speaker 1: smile of Elizabeth Montgomery broke across her face like the sunrise, 811 00:50:50,275 --> 00:50:55,355 Speaker 1: and she whispered either that Keith or they saw Bewitched 812 00:50:55,395 --> 00:50:59,515 Speaker 1: on cable last week, which means Lizzie gets another check 813 00:50:59,635 --> 00:51:04,355 Speaker 1: next week, and she twitched her nose at me and 814 00:51:04,555 --> 00:51:22,275 Speaker 1: I will always love her. I've done all the damage 815 00:51:22,315 --> 00:51:24,115 Speaker 1: I can do here. Thank you for listening. Most of 816 00:51:24,155 --> 00:51:27,475 Speaker 1: our Countdown music was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian 817 00:51:27,595 --> 00:51:30,875 Speaker 1: Ray on the guitars, bass and drums and John Phillip 818 00:51:30,875 --> 00:51:34,595 Speaker 1: Schaneil handling, orchestration and keyboards, who are our musical directors 819 00:51:34,595 --> 00:51:38,035 Speaker 1: of Countdown. It was produced by Tko Brothers. Was the music. 820 00:51:38,475 --> 00:51:41,155 Speaker 1: Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best 821 00:51:41,155 --> 00:51:44,835 Speaker 1: baseball stadium organist ever Nancy Faust. The sports music is 822 00:51:44,875 --> 00:51:48,395 Speaker 1: the Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren 823 00:51:48,475 --> 00:51:52,275 Speaker 1: Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Other music arranged and performed 824 00:51:52,315 --> 00:51:55,155 Speaker 1: by the group No Horns Allowed. My announcer today is 825 00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:59,235 Speaker 1: my friend Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad and Better Call 826 00:51:59,395 --> 00:52:05,075 Speaker 1: Saul and Airplane. This program was produced by Ted. Everything 827 00:52:05,075 --> 00:52:08,195 Speaker 1: else was as always my fault. That's countdown for today, 828 00:52:08,275 --> 00:52:12,275 Speaker 1: Day three hundred and sixty five of America held hostage again, 829 00:52:13,315 --> 00:52:15,835 Speaker 1: just one thousand and ninety eight days until the scheduled 830 00:52:15,955 --> 00:52:18,395 Speaker 1: end of his lame duck and lame brained term unless 831 00:52:18,435 --> 00:52:22,635 Speaker 1: he is removed sooner by MAGA and Jeffrey Epstein or 832 00:52:22,675 --> 00:52:27,995 Speaker 1: affordability or marble armrests or Venezuela or his ice Gestapo 833 00:52:28,155 --> 00:52:34,675 Speaker 1: murdering American mothers or Greenland. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. 834 00:52:34,715 --> 00:52:37,555 Speaker 1: Bulletin says the news merits until the next one. I'm 835 00:52:37,635 --> 00:52:42,355 Speaker 1: Keith Oldraman Good Morning, good afternoon, good night, and three 836 00:52:42,675 --> 00:53:08,435 Speaker 1: two one good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a 837 00:53:08,475 --> 00:53:13,275 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 838 00:53:13,355 --> 00:53:17,875 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts,