1 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: Hello. And welcome. 2 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,190 Speaker 2: To that being Karen Kilgara. 3 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:23,509 Speaker 1: And to that being Georgia Hardstark. This is our bonus 4 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:27,110 Speaker 1: advice episode. We've done it before. It's worked out great. 5 00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:30,530 Speaker 1: We solve all your problems by answering questions that you, 6 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:34,310 Speaker 1: our listeners, have submitted. We're calling it Advice with Karen 7 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,690 Speaker 1: and Georgia, brought to you by Cars.com. 8 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,210 Speaker 2: Because whether you're trying to find the right car or 9 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,890 Speaker 2: you need life advice, having a trusted source makes it 10 00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 2: a whole lot easier. Just to be clear... We're the 11 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,890 Speaker 2: trusted source in this situation. I don't know who trusts us, 12 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,729 Speaker 2: but there's got to be someone out there. 13 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,310 Speaker 1: I mean, someone. Someone knows. 14 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:53,370 Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you want to go first? 15 00:00:53,650 --> 00:01:00,590 Speaker 1: Sure. This one is from at AA underscore McKnight on Instagram. Okay. 16 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,910 Speaker 1: And the question is this. How do I talk to 17 00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:05,509 Speaker 1: my mom about the fact that she's in a relationship 18 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,569 Speaker 1: of sorts with a scammer? 19 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:09,830 Speaker 2: Oh, no. 20 00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:13,539 Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. So someone's mom is like in love. 21 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,060 Speaker 2: Yeah. 22 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:14,980 Speaker 1: And. 23 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,750 Speaker 2: Mine did that. 24 00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:17,050 Speaker 1: With his camera? 25 00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:17,550 Speaker 2: Uh-huh. 26 00:01:18,209 --> 00:01:18,770 Speaker 1: What'd you do? 27 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:20,670 Speaker 2: I was a kid, nothing. 28 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:20,990 Speaker 1: Yeah. 29 00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:22,610 Speaker 2: But we didn't like him and we let her know 30 00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,390 Speaker 2: the whole time. I think you just gotta be a 31 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:25,430 Speaker 2: bug in her ear. 32 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:25,930 Speaker 1: Yes. 33 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,630 Speaker 2: You know? Doesn't have to be mean, doesn't have to, 34 00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:30,730 Speaker 2: you don't have to demand anything. Yeah. 35 00:01:31,209 --> 00:01:33,649 Speaker 1: But just like reality check of, hey, the vote is 36 00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:34,649 Speaker 1: no over here still. 37 00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:36,169 Speaker 2: Because you know that thing when you break up with 38 00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 2: someone and I was like, yeah, no one liked him. 39 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,140 Speaker 2: You're like, what? Didn't anyone tell me? 40 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: Yes. 41 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,500 Speaker 2: That's the same thing where it's like, you just need 42 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,959 Speaker 2: to give her the information. And let her do with 43 00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:44,380 Speaker 2: it what she wants. 44 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,220 Speaker 1: I feel like it was you and I were talking 45 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,780 Speaker 1: about this recently where it's like the problem with love 46 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,460 Speaker 1: is you go insane and you are kind of stupid. 47 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,820 Speaker 2: Yeah. Your brain chemicals are all wonky. 48 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:56,500 Speaker 1: And you're seeing things. It's like it's just some dude 49 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,550 Speaker 1: and you're like, he's the most beautiful. And all your 50 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:01,630 Speaker 1: friends are like, what are you talking about? So that's 51 00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:04,410 Speaker 1: the kind of insanity everyone does. 52 00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:04,690 Speaker 2: Yeah. 53 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:06,410 Speaker 1: Hard if it's your mom. 54 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:09,030 Speaker 2: It's very hard. Yeah. I think if you just tell 55 00:02:09,070 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: her to keep an eye out for red flags, she'll 56 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,820 Speaker 2: start to notice them herself. You can kind of nudge 57 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:14,820 Speaker 2: the needle a little bit. 58 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,940 Speaker 1: Also, you can say, hey, mom, why don't you go 59 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,140 Speaker 1: ahead and give me $ 15, 000 to hold for you? 60 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,180 Speaker 2: Right. Why don't you put it all in my name? 61 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. 62 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: Okay. Let's see. Let me find one. 63 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,900 Speaker 1: I hope that works out okay. 64 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 2: Me too. That's a hard one. Here's one from Ryan M. 65 00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:33,420 Speaker 2: who wrote on our Discord asking, how do you find 66 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,420 Speaker 2: motivation every morning when you start your day? And I'm 67 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,870 Speaker 2: asking you for me too because I don't know. 68 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:45,070 Speaker 1: Motivation. I think... that when I got my first job 69 00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:48,510 Speaker 1: in television, I had been in my own mind kind 70 00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:51,050 Speaker 1: of a loser for so long and I'd watched enough 71 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:54,890 Speaker 1: friends do well and get themselves somewhere that I was like, 72 00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,270 Speaker 1: I have to do this and I have to do 73 00:02:57,330 --> 00:03:01,590 Speaker 1: it correctly. And so I think if you, the fear 74 00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:06,370 Speaker 1: of God is very helpful. Financial hardship is very helpful. 75 00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:10,610 Speaker 1: But then also I think it's like knowing your own 76 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,790 Speaker 1: reason So it's like, you know, what is the thing 77 00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:15,690 Speaker 1: that like you're getting up for this reason, but if 78 00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:18,430 Speaker 1: you're tired or there's a physical thing, how much coffee 79 00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,070 Speaker 1: do you need? Right. Get into a problem solving spot 80 00:03:21,169 --> 00:03:21,929 Speaker 1: for yourself. 81 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,110 Speaker 2: Yeah. Or have like a treat or something you love 82 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:26,180 Speaker 2: every morning that you can look forward to, like whatever 83 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,340 Speaker 2: your coffee order is or however you like it. 84 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:28,740 Speaker 1: Yeah. 85 00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 2: Like just allow it. Because you need, that's all you 86 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,900 Speaker 2: have to get you up in the morning. That's something. 87 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think reading autobiographies where successful people tell 88 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: you how they got to a thing. 89 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 90 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: Then you can just kind of play at, oh, I 91 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,580 Speaker 1: am a CEO now. This is how that person did 92 00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:48,220 Speaker 1: it or whatever. Totally. And you just kind of trick yourself. 93 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: If you're that interested, that means that you have it 94 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,180 Speaker 1: in you already. 95 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. Love that. 96 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:52,740 Speaker 1: Yeah. 97 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,260 Speaker 2: Okay, go ahead. 98 00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:56,710 Speaker 1: Oh, this is kind of fun. It's from, oh, it 99 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,010 Speaker 1: was sent to our Gmail from someone named Mia Jimenez. Okay. 100 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: Mia says, how the hell do I get out of bartending? 101 00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: I've been bartending for five years in NYC, and while 102 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: it's fun and I'm good at it, as you can imagine, 103 00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:11,380 Speaker 1: it's a difficult lifestyle, but I have no idea what 104 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:14,380 Speaker 1: to do next. Any tips? Love you so, so, so, 105 00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:15,410 Speaker 1: so much. Mia. 106 00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:20,390 Speaker 2: First of all, yes, we have tips 20 to 25 percent. Oh, 107 00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:22,789 Speaker 2: that's a hard one because you do make like the 108 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,890 Speaker 2: kind of money you make waiting tables or bartending is 109 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:29,110 Speaker 2: like something you get used to. It's A lot of 110 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:33,670 Speaker 2: time it's cash under the table and it's a lot 111 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:36,729 Speaker 2: better than you'd get for 40 hours at an office 112 00:04:37,029 --> 00:04:38,010 Speaker 2: job that you hate. 113 00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:40,450 Speaker 1: And it's kind of in the guise of a party. 114 00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,110 Speaker 1: It's in the guise of fun times. 115 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:42,650 Speaker 2: Totally. 116 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,770 Speaker 1: But then after a while it does get exhausting. 117 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,170 Speaker 2: Yes. 118 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:49,990 Speaker 1: Or what about if you start doing like cater bartending 119 00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:52,510 Speaker 1: and then you can get into like party planning or 120 00:04:52,589 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: party planning? Like, if that's what you like, just start 121 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: doing different versions of it in different places. 122 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,020 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Like, it doesn't have to just 123 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,420 Speaker 2: be a bar. It can be, yeah, parties. 124 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,049 Speaker 1: What are you great at because of bartending? And then 125 00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,970 Speaker 1: list those on a piece of paper. And then what 126 00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: other jobs? Like, you can measure fast by sight. nuclear physicist. 127 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 2: I love the private part. If you put out, I 128 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 2: could bartend for private parties, and you start bartending these 129 00:05:20,339 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 2: richy-rich private parties, and then eventually someone is going to 130 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:26,460 Speaker 2: be like, you know what I need is a CEO 131 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,620 Speaker 2: for my company. You'd be like, guess what? Guess what? 132 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,690 Speaker 2: I can bartend that. I don't know. 133 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:35,550 Speaker 1: I'll bartend their office. Yeah, you get a little black dress, 134 00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 1: and you Use all your charm and your recipes. 135 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 2: Yeah. 136 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:43,390 Speaker 1: And having no idea what to do next can be amazing. 137 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:43,610 Speaker 2: Yeah. 138 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:46,290 Speaker 1: Because then talk about giving yourself like a reason to 139 00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:46,970 Speaker 1: get up in the morning. 140 00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:47,250 Speaker 2: Yeah. 141 00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:51,370 Speaker 1: It's like your life becomes a fun experiment of what 142 00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:52,060 Speaker 1: do I like? 143 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,140 Speaker 2: Yeah, what's going to be next? This is an adventure. 144 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: What do I want to do for a long time? 145 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,220 Speaker 2: Love that. 146 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,700 Speaker 1: We've solved it. We have. Mia, you're welcome. Let us 147 00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,020 Speaker 1: know where you end up. 148 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,179 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. 149 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:08,289 Speaker 1: Will you bartend our lives? This one, oh, it's kind 150 00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:13,810 Speaker 1: of similar. It's from at cat underscore lady, cundra underscore 151 00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:18,730 Speaker 1: in underscore the underscore wild on Instagram. And it says, 152 00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:23,860 Speaker 1: recent breakup, 41, female, want to find a partner, hopeless, advice. 153 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: Oh, man. 154 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: I think it's like, Circle in on that hopeless piece. 155 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,570 Speaker 1: What's so hopeless about it? 156 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:31,900 Speaker 2: Yeah. 157 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: You're 41. You're young. Yeah. And, like, I understand that 158 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:40,060 Speaker 1: you think that number means something. Right. But figure out 159 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: what you actually really like. Yeah. 160 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,450 Speaker 2: Take some time to, like, figure yourself out. I feel 161 00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:47,230 Speaker 2: like I definitely do this. Everyone does this. You just 162 00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:48,710 Speaker 2: jump in the next relationship. 163 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:49,110 Speaker 1: Yeah. 164 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,950 Speaker 2: Because you want to be in one without finding out 165 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:54,810 Speaker 2: what has changed since last time. Right. Right. 166 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: And the idea that being in them is better than 167 00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:02,300 Speaker 1: not being in them no matter what is completely untrue. 168 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:02,980 Speaker 2: 100%. 169 00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:06,540 Speaker 1: So there's nothing. You don't have to be hopeless. And 170 00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:09,900 Speaker 1: that hopelessness could be preventing, could be the vibe that 171 00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:13,780 Speaker 1: you're giving. Right. So check your vibes. Check your vibes. 172 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: When I give advice, I turn into a hippie. But 173 00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:20,110 Speaker 1: there is that thing of like get interested in what 174 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,690 Speaker 1: you're bringing to the table as opposed to there's no 175 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:23,590 Speaker 1: one out there for me. 176 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:23,950 Speaker 2: Right. 177 00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:27,370 Speaker 1: I'm saying I can't find anyone. It's like become the 178 00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:31,770 Speaker 1: person that you think is hot, and then you'll see 179 00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:32,210 Speaker 1: what happens. 180 00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:34,770 Speaker 2: Right, and don't just let anyone in. You're looking for 181 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,860 Speaker 2: the best one, not just one. 182 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: That's right. 183 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:46,980 Speaker 2: Okay, here's one from Pringle2988 from Instagram. I'm 37, female 184 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: with two kids, one just graduated high school. I've always 185 00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 2: wanted cool, fun hair. Am I too old? 186 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:54,860 Speaker 1: Never. 187 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 2: Of course not. Never. Says the 46-year-old with pink streaks. 188 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,170 Speaker 2: I do think that the streaky part with, like, the 189 00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:07,670 Speaker 2: rest of it normal is just, like, enough of a little, like, rebellion. 190 00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:10,150 Speaker 2: And it also doesn't kill all your hair because it 191 00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:12,090 Speaker 2: will kill your hair if you bleach it all. 192 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:12,910 Speaker 1: For hair health. 193 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:13,270 Speaker 2: Yeah. 194 00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:17,430 Speaker 1: I think doing those things, though, and this is— my brain 195 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: has been poisoned by TikTok. So I've watched all those, like, 196 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,510 Speaker 1: go onto some sort of a platform— And figure out, like, 197 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:25,770 Speaker 1: the shape of your face. 198 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:26,450 Speaker 2: Yeah. 199 00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:29,910 Speaker 1: Do the things, you know, like your color palette. Are 200 00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: you a severe winter or whatever the hell? And then 201 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: have fun hair that's also really complimentary so that you 202 00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:37,350 Speaker 1: love it. 203 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,370 Speaker 2: Right. So it actually looks good. It's not just... green. 204 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:41,770 Speaker 1: Don't just do bangs. 205 00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,790 Speaker 2: There's also clip-in and wigs that you can try on 206 00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:47,230 Speaker 2: before you decide. 207 00:08:47,390 --> 00:08:48,110 Speaker 1: Wig party. 208 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 2: Wig party, get some clip-ins, wear them for, you know, 209 00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 2: the day and see if you actually like it. 210 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,820 Speaker 1: And then have a wig party anyway. 211 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:55,310 Speaker 2: And do it. 212 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,420 Speaker 1: Because everyone has to bring and wear a wig. 213 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:57,860 Speaker 2: Yes. 214 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,460 Speaker 1: And then you can figure out what hair means to you. 215 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 2: I love it. Hell yeah. 216 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:08,740 Speaker 1: And this one is from at Lou Barrymore, Lou Barrymore, 916, 217 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: from Instagram. And it says, Does doing the dishes include 218 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: emptying the dishwasher and wiping down the counters? 219 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: Ooh. No, your job is done when the dishwasher starts. Agree. 220 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:19,540 Speaker 1: Right? 221 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:23,390 Speaker 2: Absolutely. The next person who is going to do the dishes, 222 00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:25,510 Speaker 2: it's their job to empty the dishwasher. 223 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:25,809 Speaker 1: Yeah. 224 00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,330 Speaker 2: If you want to be a bro and like once 225 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:28,849 Speaker 2: in a while Vince and I will be like, I 226 00:09:28,890 --> 00:09:29,810 Speaker 2: emptied the dishwasher. 227 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:30,250 Speaker 1: Yeah. 228 00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:32,829 Speaker 2: It's your turn. High five. Which means you better fill it. 229 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:33,449 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 230 00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:37,309 Speaker 1: Yes. Where you're just kind of honest and upfront about 231 00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:42,410 Speaker 1: who's the balance of duties. Right. I love the feeling 232 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:46,229 Speaker 1: of a fully all surfaces wiped down kitchen at the 233 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,500 Speaker 1: end of the night. Yeah. Because that's very my parents 234 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: at the end of the night. 235 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,860 Speaker 2: It feels so, it only happens when Vince is out 236 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: of town. 237 00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:54,060 Speaker 1: Because I don't think he. 238 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,110 Speaker 2: Thinks of it as part of doing the dishes. To me, 239 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 2: clean encounters is part of doing the dishes. 240 00:09:58,860 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 241 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:00,140 Speaker 2: Not to him. 242 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,719 Speaker 1: Do you want to leave that on the counter for him? No. 243 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 2: That's okay, because then I don't want him to go, okay, 244 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:07,540 Speaker 2: but you, because there's so many things that I do that. 245 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:08,860 Speaker 1: He's... Okay, well, if you want to talk about this, 246 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: and you're like, no, no, no. 247 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about it. You can leave it. No, 248 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:16,140 Speaker 2: thank you. This is from Molly Stitchwich on Instagram. Genius. 249 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 2: Should my ex still be my best friend? No. 250 00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: What if they're the same sex? Oh. 251 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: Isn't that different? No. 252 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,940 Speaker 1: Well, here's what I would say about that. Okay. You 253 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: can do whatever you want and should. Yeah. Try it 254 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: out and see what happens. Test it out. Yeah. And 255 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,300 Speaker 1: see if it works. If you have a good picker 256 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: and you date great people, then it'll be great. 257 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:38,140 Speaker 2: Right. 258 00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:42,330 Speaker 1: And if it's an ex for a reason, then keeping 259 00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:45,710 Speaker 1: people like that around, I think, can kind of clog 260 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,370 Speaker 1: the channel of what's possible in your life. 261 00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:53,590 Speaker 2: Especially best friend. That's the thing is like maybe that's 262 00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:58,870 Speaker 2: not the healthiest relationship for your best friend. Unless, you know, 263 00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:02,110 Speaker 2: there's definitely circumstances where it's been a long time. It's 264 00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:05,790 Speaker 2: your high school ex or whatever it is. Right. There's 265 00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:07,150 Speaker 2: definitely circumstances. 266 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:08,910 Speaker 1: Let's list them all now. 267 00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:10,969 Speaker 2: And you're asking this because you know we're going to 268 00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:11,870 Speaker 2: say no, though, too. 269 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: Well, and also one of the people, this is just 270 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,410 Speaker 1: like open marriages. 271 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:17,700 Speaker 2: Yeah. 272 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: One of the people wants it and one of the 273 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:23,340 Speaker 1: people maybe wants it less. Just make sure you're always 274 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,420 Speaker 1: the person that wants it less. Don't be the one 275 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,660 Speaker 1: that's like, we should get together on Friday because it's 276 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,650 Speaker 1: like you're not together for a reason. 277 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,670 Speaker 2: Why do I think of it from the perspective of 278 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:34,790 Speaker 2: one of their new partners? That's who I think of. 279 00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:36,580 Speaker 1: And you're just like, absolutely not. 280 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:39,420 Speaker 2: I'm like, that's kind of. going to be a problem 281 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,500 Speaker 2: at some point in our relationship, probably, unless it's totally cool. 282 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,180 Speaker 1: Well, because that means that they kind of didn't really 283 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:47,930 Speaker 1: break up with them. They're just not actively having sex. 284 00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:51,609 Speaker 2: Right. Like they'll always be like number one. 285 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,110 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, emotionally is just as important. 286 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:55,470 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. 287 00:11:55,929 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: Well, this one's from at Jean Malloy on Instagram. And 288 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: Jean Malloy asks, how do I tactfully help my son 289 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: realize that his girlfriend is just not the one? 290 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,770 Speaker 2: Oh, this is like the first one about the mom. 291 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 2: At least she's not the scammer. Yeah. 292 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: Although we don't know that. These high school kids are 293 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,579 Speaker 1: scammers these days. 294 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 2: It's so funny that I'm like, if it's your mom, 295 00:12:17,179 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 2: you have to do something. If it's your son, don't 296 00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 2: do anything. 297 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: Yes. 298 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 2: You know? 299 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that parents these days need to tactfully 300 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,590 Speaker 1: stop helping their children so much. 301 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:25,950 Speaker 2: Yeah. 302 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:30,350 Speaker 1: Because they're like, they're just being handheld through life. 303 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:35,810 Speaker 2: You're only asking for trouble from your son, from the girlfriend. 304 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,570 Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait, I have it. 305 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:37,950 Speaker 2: What? 306 00:12:38,429 --> 00:12:40,630 Speaker 1: You, if this is a thing where you're just like, no, 307 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:44,250 Speaker 1: you don't understand. She's a scammer, whatever it is. Go 308 00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:46,270 Speaker 1: to your son and be like, I love her and 309 00:12:46,309 --> 00:12:48,089 Speaker 1: I need to invite her to blah, blah, blah. And 310 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:51,270 Speaker 1: where she's then just buy in a thousand percent. 311 00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:51,530 Speaker 2: Yeah. 312 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:54,380 Speaker 1: Because it's kind of all you can do anyway. And 313 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: he won't like it. And then he will want to 314 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:56,910 Speaker 1: change it. 315 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 2: Just trick him into figuring it out himself. 316 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: Yes. 317 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 2: But he will figure it out himself. And I agree 318 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,380 Speaker 2: that the more you tell him how much you don't 319 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,890 Speaker 2: like her. The more he's going to want to stay 320 00:13:07,929 --> 00:13:08,230 Speaker 2: with her. 321 00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:11,030 Speaker 1: Although as I reread this, I'm assuming it's a teenager. 322 00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:12,510 Speaker 1: They never said that. 323 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,890 Speaker 2: It might not be. 35-year-old man. 324 00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:17,910 Speaker 1: And that's the thing where that's just how it happens 325 00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:21,210 Speaker 1: sometimes because like you don't get to dictate. 326 00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,090 Speaker 2: Yeah. 327 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,010 Speaker 1: You have to let people do what they want for 328 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,130 Speaker 1: the reasons that they have. 329 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:27,410 Speaker 2: And they have to make mistakes or they're never going 330 00:13:27,429 --> 00:13:27,670 Speaker 2: to learn. 331 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,420 Speaker 1: And he's picking a girl like that because of you. 332 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:31,980 Speaker 2: Totally. 333 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,930 Speaker 1: So this is about the job you did. 334 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:37,770 Speaker 2: Whatever you did, it's causing what's happening now. 335 00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: This is mirror work, and you need to get into 336 00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: that mirror and do some work. 337 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 2: That's right. This one's from Nicole S. from our Discord, asking, 338 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,780 Speaker 2: should I finally clean out my closet or just keep 339 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,300 Speaker 2: pretending I'll wear everything someday? I am the wrong. I 340 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:55,500 Speaker 2: have shit from my early 20s that I just will 341 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:56,700 Speaker 2: never get rid of. 342 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:57,060 Speaker 1: Yeah. 343 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:57,940 Speaker 2: What do you do? 344 00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:01,179 Speaker 1: I think it's like if you have a long, quiet 345 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: weekend and you're just like, I can't watch TV anymore, 346 00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: then get in there and get rid of some stuff 347 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: and donate. The way people have embraced thrifting and upcycling 348 00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: clothes is so great. So it's like, yeah, move some 349 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,090 Speaker 1: stuff around because we don't need as much as we have. 350 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,770 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't just keep buying hangers and adding stuff. 351 00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,970 Speaker 2: Even I do get rid of stuff when I'm like, 352 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,550 Speaker 2: This actually doesn't look flattering on me. It's not just 353 00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:29,850 Speaker 2: that I'll never wear it. It's that every time I 354 00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:31,730 Speaker 2: throw it on and I'm like, oh, I'll wear this today, 355 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,950 Speaker 2: I take it off because it looks terrible. Yeah. Get 356 00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 2: rid of it. 357 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,990 Speaker 1: There's some things we buy because we just like to 358 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,450 Speaker 1: look at it. But that doesn't mean we should wear it. 359 00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:40,460 Speaker 1: Let someone else have it. 360 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,700 Speaker 2: Like, I love the idea that someone's going into a 361 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 2: thrift store and finding my old stuff that I am 362 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: sad to part with, but I know I'll never wear. 363 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,780 Speaker 1: And it'll be their treasure. Exactly. 364 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 2: Like, let someone else have that cashmere sweater. 365 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,660 Speaker 1: Also, if you really love something, if you're trying to 366 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: get rid of it, you can do stuff like frame 367 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: the material. You know what I mean? Do something interesting 368 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,140 Speaker 1: where it's like, what do you want to keep about it? 369 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,050 Speaker 1: Or if it's just you're being lazy, then be lazy. 370 00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:10,530 Speaker 1: But you can cycle through so you don't feel guilty 371 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:11,670 Speaker 1: when you get new clothes. 372 00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:12,090 Speaker 2: Totally. 373 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:15,410 Speaker 1: I said, because that's what I've been doing. But I 374 00:15:15,430 --> 00:15:18,860 Speaker 1: had stuff that's like, I had stuff that Was basically 375 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: the same sweater in five different cuts where it's just like, okay. 376 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:25,190 Speaker 2: Pick two. Yeah. Pick two. You don't need it all. Yeah, 377 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,110 Speaker 2: you don't need duplicates of everything. 378 00:15:27,430 --> 00:15:29,710 Speaker 1: Right. You need key pieces. 379 00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:30,250 Speaker 2: Key pieces. 380 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: That look great every time. 381 00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:34,180 Speaker 2: That's easy to throw on and fit. 382 00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:36,340 Speaker 1: Well, that was super fun. I mean, I think. Yeah. 383 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,590 Speaker 1: We are experts at giving advice. 384 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:39,270 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 385 00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:42,510 Speaker 1: Every single thing we said to these people is going 386 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,609 Speaker 1: to solve major problems. 387 00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,710 Speaker 2: Definitely. Yeah. Well, thanks for listening, you guys. Again, this 388 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:49,510 Speaker 2: episode is brought to you by Cars.com, the trusted site 389 00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:52,100 Speaker 2: for finding the right car with confidence. 390 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: Whether you're researching, comparing, or finally ready to make a 391 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:58,260 Speaker 1: big purchase, Cars.com helps you get the information you need 392 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,460 Speaker 1: before you decide. 393 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,580 Speaker 2: Visit Cars.com to start your car buying journey today. 394 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:03,740 Speaker 1: Also, stay sexy. 395 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 2: And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? 396 00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: This has been an Exactly Right production. 397 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,860 Speaker 2: Our managing producer is Molly Smith. 398 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,020 Speaker 1: Our consulting producer is Kate Schellenbach. 399 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,860 Speaker 2: Our creative lead is Allison Agosti. 400 00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is 401 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,220 Speaker 1: Aristotle Acevedo. 402 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,540 Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. 403 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,340 Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com and follow the 404 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,540 Speaker 1: show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder. 405 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 2: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 406 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,500 Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts. 407 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. 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