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Speaker 1: And it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, And you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.

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Speaker 2: You got it for it you here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject his sister catfished me to Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty

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Speaker 1: eight years old and I've been with the same man

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Speaker 1: for five years and he's not focused on marriage or

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Speaker 1: taking our relationship further, but he won't let me go.

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Speaker 1: He accuses me of seeking attention from other men because

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Speaker 1: of the way I dress, and I see that as

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Speaker 1: him not trusting me. He's so paranoid all the time,

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Speaker 1: so I reassure him that I'm not up to no

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Speaker 1: good when I'm hanging out with my friends. I told

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Speaker 1: myself i'd give him another year to propose. I would

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Speaker 1: never tell him about my deadline because I don't want

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Speaker 1: him to propose unless he really want to. I took

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Speaker 1: a short break from him and I stopped playing house.

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Speaker 1: I went and stayed with my mom for a month

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Speaker 1: to force my boyfriend to take me on dates and

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Speaker 1: make time for me if he wanted to have sex

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Speaker 1: with me. During that time, I got a DM from

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Speaker 1: a handsome guy that said he saw me at a

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Speaker 1: career fair that.

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Speaker 3: I was speaking at.

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Speaker 1: We exchanged phone numbers and I gave him career advice

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Speaker 1: and helped him with his resume. I never talked with

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Speaker 1: him on the phone, only texts and emails. He wanted

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Speaker 1: us to meet up somewhere and I told him that

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Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: That led to him opening.

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Speaker 1: Up about the trouble he was having with his love life,

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Speaker 1: and I told him about how my boyfriend takes me

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Speaker 1: for granted. Little did I know my boyfriend's seventeen year

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Speaker 1: old sister was catfishing me and I had been communicating

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Speaker 1: with her with her not.

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Speaker 3: The handsome guy. I was so oh busted.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend broke up with me, and I tried to

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Speaker 1: reason with him, but then I realized that I'm too

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Speaker 1: old for games. I did not cheat or do anything terrible.

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Speaker 1: Should I stop fighting for this relationship. Well, yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you're asking me, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely yes,

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Speaker 1: because what are you fighting for. You're not fighting for anything.

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Speaker 1: He's not worth it. What would you be fighting to

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Speaker 1: say you weren't happy with him anyway? I mean, you

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Speaker 1: said you've been with this man for five years and nothing,

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Speaker 1: no proposal, nothing, no working on the relationship, trying to

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Speaker 1: take it to the next level, none of that. And

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Speaker 1: all this moving in with your mom to force him

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Speaker 1: to take you out and to want to have sex

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Speaker 1: with you is crazy. I mean, don't you know if

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Speaker 1: he wanted to do any of these things, he would

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Speaker 1: and that includes proposing and his sister catfishing you.

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Speaker 2: What is that all about?

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Speaker 1: This is all just stupid and immature and like you say, games,

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Speaker 1: he broke up with you over that. You didn't cheat

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Speaker 1: or do anything terrible. You said you helped this guy

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Speaker 1: with his resume, you gave him some career advice, and

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Speaker 1: you told him you had a man that took you

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Speaker 1: for granted, you never even saw this guy or talk

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Speaker 1: to him on the phone, and your man broke up

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Speaker 1: with you over that after five years of dating. I

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Speaker 1: think this incident just gave him a reason to do

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Speaker 1: what he's wanting, what he had been wanting to do

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Speaker 1: all along, and.

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Speaker 3: That was get out of this relationship.

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Speaker 1: So to you, I say the same thing, get out

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Speaker 1: of this relationship.

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Speaker 3: Steve Well, you're out of it because he broke up

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Speaker 3: with you. But get over.

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Speaker 2: It, Steve Well, it's not a kind of ignorant to me.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I think I should address it as an

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Speaker 4: ignorant person.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh oh, you pray.

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Speaker 3: For me, Father, God helped it all the time.

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Speaker 4: I asked God to let there be more of him

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Speaker 4: and less of me, and mow you and less me

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Speaker 4: trying because to me is so dominant. I want to

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Speaker 4: say something and respond, for the God in me is

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Speaker 4: holding my tongue. This thirty eight year old woman is

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Speaker 4: a dating this man that ain't thinking about it really

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Speaker 4: no further than what it is.

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Speaker 2: He's really just got her dad.

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Speaker 4: His beckoning call seems to me he's not focused on

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Speaker 4: marriage or taking a relationship further. But he won't let

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Speaker 4: me go. No no, no, no no, that's not true.

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Speaker 4: It ain't that he won't let you go as you

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Speaker 4: won't leave. See, stop blaming me and for holding on

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Speaker 4: to you when it's you. That's holding on to them.

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Speaker 4: Stop giving a man that kind of power over you.

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Speaker 4: It ain't that he won't let you go, it is

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Speaker 4: that you don't have the courage to leave.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 4: He's always saying that you're trying to seek antention from

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Speaker 4: other men because of the way I dress, and I

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Speaker 4: see that as him not trusting me.

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Speaker 2: Both of those things are true.

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Speaker 4: Who when you get dressed in the morning, ladies, don't

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Speaker 4: you dress to impress. It might be yourself, it might

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Speaker 4: be your coworkers, it might be your husband.

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Speaker 2: But you dressed to impress.

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Speaker 4: Now, if somebody at the job get impressed, then that's

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Speaker 4: just bonus.

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Speaker 2: But I put it on to put it on, you

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Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. I put it on to put

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Speaker 2: it on.

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Speaker 4: And anyway, he's so paranoid, and I got to reassure

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Speaker 4: him that I'm up to no good when I'm hanging

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Speaker 4: out with my friends. I told myself give him another

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Speaker 4: year to propose. But I would never tell him about

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Speaker 4: my deadline because I don't want him to propose unless

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Speaker 4: he really wants to. Well, that don't make no sense

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Speaker 4: right there. That's a mistake, ladies. If y'all don't start

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Speaker 4: putting timelines on some of these men. You ain't gonna

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Speaker 4: ever get what you want because as long as we

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Speaker 4: getting what we want, we cool. Now, you did a

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Speaker 4: smart thing. You took a short break from him. Man,

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Speaker 4: You and you stop playing house. You would and stayed

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Speaker 4: with your mom for a month to force my boyfriend

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Speaker 4: to take me on dates, make time for me if

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Speaker 4: he wanted to have sex with me. That was a

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Speaker 4: good move. It just you only did it for thirty days.

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Speaker 4: You should have kept that plan in place. We come back,

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Speaker 4: we'll tell you about the DM she got how the

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Speaker 4: catfish began.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter subject her sister his sister catfish to me.

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 2: Folks, there are a lot of reasons to like Hyundai.

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Speaker 4: Hyundai's done a lot to support American consumers. I mean,

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Speaker 4: they announced their investment of twenty one billion dollars in

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Speaker 4: the United States over the next three years that will

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Speaker 4: expand manufacturing and create more jobs for Americans.

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Speaker 5: And they just announced that they will not be raising

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Speaker 5: MSRP through June second, no matter what. Call five six

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Speaker 5: two three one four six zero three for more details.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is his sister catfished me.

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Speaker 4: The thirty eight year old woman got this man that

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Speaker 4: don't have woners, so she done play the games with

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Speaker 4: him and stuff, and she didn't set a deadline. She

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Speaker 4: want a proposal in the year, but she didn't get

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Speaker 4: a guy the deadline, which now he don't know me

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Speaker 4: and stupid, we don't take hints, so I think you should.

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Speaker 2: If you have a deadline, you ought to give it

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Speaker 2: to a guy.

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Speaker 4: And you said the reason you didn't do that because

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Speaker 4: you didn't want him to propose you unless he really

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Speaker 4: wants to. Well, they won't. A man ain't gonna propose

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Speaker 4: you unless he really want to. But he ain't gonna

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Speaker 4: give you a date unless he know you really wont to.

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Speaker 2: Hello.

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Speaker 4: You see how it works. So you know y'all can't

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Speaker 4: have one without the other ladies. So you want to

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Speaker 4: just stop playing house with him. So you took a

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Speaker 4: break from him and you went and you stayed with

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Speaker 4: your mom for a month to force him to take

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Speaker 4: your own dates and make time for you if he

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Speaker 4: wanted to have sex with you during that time. I

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Speaker 4: got it DM from a handsome guy that said he

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Speaker 4: saw me at a career fair I was speaking at.

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Speaker 4: We exchanged phone numbers, I gave him career advice, helped

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Speaker 4: him on his resume. Never talked to him on the phone,

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Speaker 4: only texting emails. He wanted us to meet up somewhere

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Speaker 4: and I told him I have a boyfriend. That led

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Speaker 4: to him opening up about the trouble he was having

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Speaker 4: with his love life. And I told him about how

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Speaker 4: my boyfriend takes me for granted. Little did I know

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Speaker 4: my boyfriend's seventeen year old sister was catfishing me. Now,

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Speaker 4: for those of you that's like me that thought that

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Speaker 4: catfishing was a sport in the Mississippian riverbanks, and let

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Speaker 4: me help you understand something. Catfishing is when someone pretends

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Speaker 4: to be someone else without your knowledge to get you

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Speaker 4: to perform some type of act, could get you to

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Speaker 4: talk or make a commitment with I am keeping from

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Speaker 4: you whole time their real identity. That's basically what catfishing is.

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Speaker 4: The boyfriend's seventeen year old girl sent a picture to

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Speaker 4: her saying this is who I am, and I met

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Speaker 4: you at a place she was speaking at and that's

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Speaker 4: what the catfish began. But because they didn't get on

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Speaker 4: the phone and have no verbal or face time, see

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Speaker 4: face timing stops all this. But because they didn't do

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Speaker 4: no face timing, now you was communicating with his seventeen

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Speaker 4: year old sister who was catfishing you because she don't

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Speaker 4: like you anyway. And don't be surprised if your boyfriend

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Speaker 4: didn't put her up to it, because he was jealous

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Speaker 4: of you anyway. So he probably had his little sister

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Speaker 4: do this to set you up because he ain't trying

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Speaker 4: to marry you all the way. He been suspicious that

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Speaker 4: you anyway, so now he thought he was busted, and

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Speaker 4: you said, I'm so busted. My boyfriend broke up with me.

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Speaker 4: I tried to reason with him, but then I realized

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Speaker 4: I'm too old for games. I did not cheat or

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Speaker 4: do anything terrible. Should I stop fighting for this relationship?

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Speaker 4: Shirley said you should, and you know what, I agree

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Speaker 4: with her one hundred percent, because what you're fighting folk,

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Speaker 4: you ain't got time for these games. Him always a

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Speaker 4: little ignant system. But he more ignorant than the little

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Speaker 4: sister is. At least she's seventeen. She done for a reason.

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Speaker 4: You got catfished. So what you didn't do nothing? You

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Speaker 4: ain't meet with him. And then when he tried to

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Speaker 4: meet you told him you had a boyfriend. He opened

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Speaker 4: up about how he was having a hard time with

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Speaker 4: his girl. And then you said, your boyfriend taking you

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Speaker 4: for granted. Oh that's true. Now your boyfriend gonna break up.

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Speaker 4: Now he gonna make you crawl back. Now y'all gonna

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Speaker 4: start over, and now he gonna buy another five years,

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Speaker 4: Which that's how that's gonna work. Good riddance. Next time

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Speaker 4: you go to a conference to speak, you need to

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Speaker 4: spot a handsome guy and dm him. Quit fooling with

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Speaker 4: this man that ain't fooling with you. And ladies, listen

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Speaker 4: to me. Stop expecting a man to get the hints

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Speaker 4: when we don't.

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Speaker 2: Do hints well at all.

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Speaker 4: If you are giving your man a year to propose

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Speaker 4: to you, but you don't tell him he got a year,

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Speaker 4: and then he don't propose, and now you mad. No,

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Speaker 4: if he has a year to propose, tell him listen,

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Speaker 4: you got one year. To get yourself together when it

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Speaker 4: comes to me, if you don't think you love me

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Speaker 4: enough in a year to want to spend the rest

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Speaker 4: of your life with me, then I will know in.

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Speaker 2: A year and we can part ways.

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Speaker 4: That's what you have to do, So stop talking about

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Speaker 4: he wantn't let you go. No, you are afraid to leave.

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Speaker 4: That's all it is. Any questions, ladies.

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Speaker 1: Charley Well, I mean, what do you think why did

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Speaker 1: he break up with her? I think that he didn't

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Speaker 1: do any of these things because he didn't want to.

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Speaker 4: You know, he doesn't want to marry her. He's not

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Speaker 4: going to let the relationship move any further because he's

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Speaker 4: getting everything he wants. They play in house, he having sex,

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Speaker 4: he got the chicken, his dreams, You won't the day

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Speaker 4: of your dreams when that ain't his dream. You're making

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Speaker 4: all his dreams come true, but he ain't making none

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Speaker 4: of yours come true. So that's why ladies always have

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Speaker 4: to have that issue. That's soft ultimatum, yeah or else,

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Speaker 4: or else you're gonna have nothing. And I don't see

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Speaker 4: what you're fighting for. Let him break up by.

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Speaker 1: Why is she she thinking that it's him that's paranoid

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Speaker 1: it's him that's thinking that she's going out, you know,

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Speaker 1: because the man.

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Speaker 4: Who have great manipulation skills and will make you think

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Speaker 4: is you?

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Speaker 2: What is them? The whole time. The best offense is

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Speaker 2: a good defense. I'm excuse me. The best defense is

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Speaker 2: a good office.

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Speaker 4: If you throw in shade and blame all the other

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Speaker 4: person all the time, they ain't got time to throw

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Speaker 4: it on you because they open the playing defense. It's

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Speaker 4: an old trick. Yeah, he done fools you stop being fooled.

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Speaker 3: All right, Steep, Thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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