Speaker 1: Hi, everybody. Welcome to Dear Chelsea. Thanks for tuning in
Speaker 1: and listening. Do you tune in it? I don't know
Speaker 1: what goes on anymore. I have to say that I
Speaker 1: had the absolute best time playing the Santa Barbara Bowl.
Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone who was there. It was
Speaker 1: such good vibes. I had tons of friends come out,
Speaker 1: and I'm just really excited about my stand up tour.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to give you guys some more stand
Speaker 1: up dates. If you live in Cincinnati, September, I'm coming
Speaker 1: to Cincinnati. If you live there, get your tickets. I'm
Speaker 1: coming to Detroit on October one. October two, I'm coming
Speaker 1: to Indianapolis. That's in Indiana, and then October three I
Speaker 1: will be in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So I am coming
Speaker 1: to perform Taft Theater, Filmore Detroit, Detroit, the Murat in Indianapolis,
Speaker 1: and then Davos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids. And if
Speaker 1: you don't live in one of those cities, I'm probably
Speaker 1: coming to a city near you. I'm coming to Florida.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of action in Florida. I'm coming to Portland, Maine.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Jacksonville, Miami, Beach St. Petersburg, going to Arizona, Reno,
Speaker 1: all of my places anyway. Look for tickets at Chelsea
Speaker 1: handler dot com, ticket Master Live Nation only fans. So
Speaker 1: I am coming to you, and I hope that you
Speaker 1: guys come and see my vaccinated in Horny too are
Speaker 1: because it's so much fun and I go off. It's
Speaker 1: O G Chelsea, I am. I'm just so sick of
Speaker 1: I've been trying. I've been homeless everybody for for I'm
Speaker 1: not homeless. I'm in a rental house, but I might
Speaker 1: as well be homeless because everything in this rental house
Speaker 1: was broken so many times. I just can't even believe.
Speaker 1: It's almost like I'm in a practical joke show like
Speaker 1: Girls Behaving Badly, a show that I used to be on.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's pranking me. First, there was an
Speaker 1: electrical fire. I had to be taken out of the
Speaker 1: house by the l A p D. Or no, the
Speaker 1: l A Fire Department. The police were not there, thankfully
Speaker 1: because they don't like me either, and they had to
Speaker 1: basically lift me over the gate to the rental house
Speaker 1: because the gate would not open or close. So I
Speaker 1: slept in a hotel for seven days. Then I came back.
Speaker 1: Then the A C broke in the house, then the
Speaker 1: oven broke, then the air conditioning broke again, and then
Speaker 1: they pulled something out of the air conditioning unit that
Speaker 1: looked like something my father would have dreury rigged together
Speaker 1: when he was a car dealer, a used car dealer.
Speaker 1: It was like duct tape, like a phone wrapped in
Speaker 1: duct tape, with styrophone stuffed in between the phone and
Speaker 1: the duct tape in the middle of the air conditioning conduit.
Speaker 1: And I just looked at it, and I thought, is
Speaker 1: this my father haunting me? I am in a rental
Speaker 1: house that is tantamount to the rental house that my
Speaker 1: father used to rent on Martha's Vineyard, where he described
Speaker 1: the basement as a pie de te, Like, I am
Speaker 1: paying a large amount of money for a house that
Speaker 1: doesn't work, and the owners seem to think that they're
Speaker 1: not responsible for any of these inconveniences. So I am
Speaker 1: just like you know, and I'm at a point where
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not gonna get involved with these kinds of
Speaker 1: arguments and stuff because I just can't. It's too silly
Speaker 1: and it's too much of a waste of your time.
Speaker 1: But I would like to go on the record and
Speaker 1: say that I have not cried once, and five years ago,
Speaker 1: before therapy, I would have been a real basket case.
Speaker 1: But I've slept without air conditioning several nights. Now I
Speaker 1: have fans that I have to turn on, and I'm thriving,
Speaker 1: you know, just waiting to get the hell out of there.
Speaker 1: So if anyone knows of another rental that I could
Speaker 1: rent in the meantime, please, I'm looking in that Greater
Speaker 1: l A area. Maybe it's time for me to move
Speaker 1: to the valley. Maybe I just give it and give up.
Speaker 1: And additionally, I had a house that I bought, but
Speaker 1: then I found out that Mulholland Drive owns like part
Speaker 1: of the land in front of the house that I bought.
Speaker 1: So I pulled out of that house as soon as
Speaker 1: I found out that at any point the city of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles could decide to widen Mulholland and my lawn
Speaker 1: would be shortened. I thought. That also reminded me of
Speaker 1: my father. They have an easeman. I thought my father
Speaker 1: would buy a house with an easement like that, where
Speaker 1: you thought, you know, it's unlikely that that would happen.
Speaker 1: Maybe it isn't unlikely. It seems unlikely. It seems like
Speaker 1: it would be hugely expensive to widen Mulholland. But in
Speaker 1: the event that they did decide to do that, I
Speaker 1: would just have to let that happen. Totally devalues the
Speaker 1: property and the privacy. So I have no house again.
Speaker 1: So I feel like a nomad right now. I feel
Speaker 1: very like anchor rudderless, you know, without a house. But
Speaker 1: I also I don't want to commit to Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I have this I don't know. I'm going through something.
Speaker 1: Hopefully it's early menopause. And in other exciting news last
Speaker 1: week's episode where we talked about Pandemic of Love, my
Speaker 1: friend who runs Pandemic of Love. You can follow her
Speaker 1: at Mindful Skater Girl on Instagram. Her name is Shelly
Speaker 1: to Gilski, who I will have as a guest when
Speaker 1: we return for season two. For sure, we had over
Speaker 1: a thousand listeners call in to become donors at Pandemic
Speaker 1: of Love, so a thousand of you got eyes heard
Speaker 1: that and then decided to go help a stranger in
Speaker 1: the name of mutual aid. So I just want to
Speaker 1: say thank you to everybody who did that and for
Speaker 1: the people who are struggling right now and receiving mutual
Speaker 1: aid from strangers and people who are kind enough to
Speaker 1: help you. You will be in a position in the
Speaker 1: future where you will be able to do the same
Speaker 1: for others. So it's the gift of giving, and it
Speaker 1: continues and it's a beautiful thing. And I can't wait
Speaker 1: for you guys all to meet Shelley because she's just
Speaker 1: a great friend and she's just started this incredible organization
Speaker 1: and everyone who hits me up on Instagram that I
Speaker 1: turn over to her, she has helped pay their bills.
Speaker 1: They vet everybody to make sure that they are paying
Speaker 1: the bills directly, and they're helping people in their times
Speaker 1: of need. So this is important and it's a good
Speaker 1: reminder about humanity. And then not everybody's a fucking asshole. Okay, Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: what do we do now, Brandon? Okay, So this is
Speaker 1: pasting future. So these are questions people have about past
Speaker 1: issues or upcome events. So one of them is a
Speaker 1: question about a new job. Someone who is cautious about
Speaker 1: releasing his memoir, someone who can stop thinking about her
Speaker 1: childhood crush. So we cover a lot of bases today
Speaker 1: and our first submission comes from Ashley. We actually have
Speaker 1: a little voice note from her. She's twenty nine out
Speaker 1: of Houston. She's a teacher, so let's play her voice memo.
Speaker 1: Hi there. I'm Ashley, a twenty nine year old teacher
Speaker 1: in Houston, and I'm having a hard time deciding if
Speaker 1: I should stay at the school i'm at or move on,
Speaker 1: maybe even try a new city. I'd give the school
Speaker 1: I work out five out of ten. Leadership is awful. However,
Speaker 1: my partner teacher is my best friend and I love
Speaker 1: working with her. The thought of leaving what I know
Speaker 1: for something different gives me major anxiety, and I tend
Speaker 1: to shut down. There's a part of me that would
Speaker 1: love to live in a different city and move on.
Speaker 1: But what if I move and it's a worse situation.
Speaker 1: Should I just be thankful for the good I have
Speaker 1: and leave it alone? Thank you? I would say that
Speaker 1: if you have severe anxiety that you're already worried about
Speaker 1: that will be a result of moving into a situation
Speaker 1: that you're not going to have a clear idea about
Speaker 1: for a long time, that you might want to just
Speaker 1: stay where you are. You've got a best friend, that
Speaker 1: you love working with. That's a lot more than a
Speaker 1: lot of people have. And if she's a teacher, right,
Speaker 1: and if you are a teacher and there's poor leadership
Speaker 1: where you're teaching, I would say that they need you
Speaker 1: even more if you love your job and what you do.
Speaker 1: If it's a five out of a ten, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you and your friend can make that school six
Speaker 1: out of a ten instead of a five out of ten. Like,
Speaker 1: you have so much more influence than you even realize,
Speaker 1: And so I wouldn't quit on the school because of
Speaker 1: the leadership. I would use that as a reason to
Speaker 1: stay at the school because of the board leadership. What
Speaker 1: do you think, sweetheart? I agree. I think that if
Speaker 1: you do want to leave, it's always best to have
Speaker 1: some sort of game plan in place. So if there
Speaker 1: is a catalyst for you moving, like you really just
Speaker 1: want to live in a new city, I can understand
Speaker 1: that if you have things kind of set in place,
Speaker 1: like you know, you've mentioned that you have a partner
Speaker 1: teacher that you love working with, that you are happy
Speaker 1: outside of the leadership that you're getting at the school,
Speaker 1: then that should be more reason, as Chelsea said, for
Speaker 1: you to invest in the school and make the change
Speaker 1: you want to see. I think if you're having anxiety,
Speaker 1: like if you need a guarantee that you're gonna love
Speaker 1: the city you're going to move to, and that you're
Speaker 1: going to find a new best friend and you're gonna
Speaker 1: find with all these things. If you need that to
Speaker 1: be guaranteed in order to make the move, then don't
Speaker 1: make the move. Like you have to be open to
Speaker 1: that maybe not working out and then maybe you go
Speaker 1: to a different city. You kind of have to have
Speaker 1: a different kind of attitude and a different set of anxiety, right, totally.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you should probably stay what is
Speaker 1: her name against Ashley. I think you should stay put
Speaker 1: Ashley and continue to build your community and build a
Speaker 1: school that you're in and just be a fucking badass
Speaker 1: example for all your students and help them be better too.
Speaker 1: That's that I feel like I need a protein shake.
Speaker 1: I felt like that was a protein shake. Would you
Speaker 1: like one of my meat six that you please don't
Speaker 1: open the meat sticks inside the podcast studio. I haven't
Speaker 1: eat it before it came into We have to find
Speaker 1: a house where we can build where we can have
Speaker 1: a room as a podcast studio because the studio we're
Speaker 1: working out of. It's very sterile, and it's in the valley. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't love the valley. I don't mind the valley. Actually,
Speaker 1: I have to say, this is a very short jaunt
Speaker 1: and it's very easy to come here, so I don't
Speaker 1: mind the valley. It's better than going to Beverly Hills.
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills is the worst, and it's way better than
Speaker 1: when we have to drive over to Hollywood. Oh well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was the worst. Hollywood is a bit it's just
Speaker 1: a bit dirty. It's it's very dirty. Olive l A
Speaker 1: is getting very dirty. Honestly, it's alarming. Okay, we're going
Speaker 1: to take a break for a quick at and we'll
Speaker 1: be right back. Our next mission comes from Oh this
Speaker 1: is an interesting name, truf um t r E f
Speaker 1: o M. He's on the East Coast. He's a writer,
Speaker 1: and he says, Dear Chelsea, life will be the death
Speaker 1: of Me was so excellent that it moved me to
Speaker 1: finally write the memoir that I have been rattling around
Speaker 1: in my brain for many years. The challenges that it's
Speaker 1: pretty unflattering to my mother and one of my sisters.
Speaker 1: Do I go ahead with it. I'm even using a pseudonym.
Speaker 1: But I'm still unsure. My mother has dementia, so she'll
Speaker 1: likely never be offended, but my sister certainly will. She
Speaker 1: hasn't spoken to me more than six years. I have
Speaker 1: no idea why I'm guessing I'm an asshole or something. Well,
Speaker 1: it's good to self assess in that in that way,
Speaker 1: he goes on to say, But but in the final analysis,
Speaker 1: she sucked me over pretty good when we were kids,
Speaker 1: So should I even care what she thinks about the memoir?
Speaker 1: P s. I'm not just some winker who thinks I
Speaker 1: can write a memoir. I'm a professional writer with more
Speaker 1: than thirty years of experience. And he's on the phone. Hi,
Speaker 1: Cheff Chaffam cheff M. Yeah, So Traffam's my pen name,
Speaker 1: Truff Markoff. It's actually my great grandfather's name. He was
Speaker 1: a Russian immigrant. Okay, I was going to say, that's
Speaker 1: not a name I've ever heard. So, but if you've
Speaker 1: been working with the name, okay, got it? Russian? Okay,
Speaker 1: that's why I haven't heard it. So why doesn't your
Speaker 1: sister talk to you? Chelsea? I wish I knew, I
Speaker 1: really wish I knew so about seven or so years ago.
Speaker 1: She just kind of turned me off, didn't respond to emails,
Speaker 1: text phone calls. I wanted to reach out, I mean,
Speaker 1: I tried to several times over the course of the
Speaker 1: first I don't know, like two or three years, and
Speaker 1: I never got a response. So eventually, you know, I
Speaker 1: just started feeling got chumped, and I thought, I'm done
Speaker 1: with this. If she doesn't want me in her life,
Speaker 1: I'm done with this. But is there anything that could
Speaker 1: have happened that you think might be the reason why
Speaker 1: she's not speaking to you. I mean, I guess there's
Speaker 1: no single incident I think that stands out in my mind.
Speaker 1: She's always been very jealous of the fact that I
Speaker 1: have a good relationship with my in laws, and things are,
Speaker 1: you know, oftentimes strained with my own family of origin,
Speaker 1: you know, mostly her and my mother. But a particular
Speaker 1: incident I don't know, and this goes October two was
Speaker 1: the last I heard from her. And do you have
Speaker 1: other siblings? I do. I have a younger sister and
Speaker 1: a younger brother. Relationship is good with both of them.
Speaker 1: My mother is eighty and she's dealing with pretty fair
Speaker 1: amount of dementia, even though she doesn't admit that. Okay,
Speaker 1: well most people with dementia don't right anyway, So sorry
Speaker 1: we topic. Okay, but wait, I'm not done with your siblings.
Speaker 1: So that you are other two siblings that you do
Speaker 1: have a healthy relationship with. Do they talk to your
Speaker 1: sister not in a healthy way? You know, there's there's
Speaker 1: things that they have to do and discuss in relation
Speaker 1: to taking care of our mother. But you know it's
Speaker 1: not like you know, me and my younger brother and
Speaker 1: my younger sister, we actually get along. We have good relationships.
Speaker 1: They are a few years younger. So the deal with
Speaker 1: my older sister is that we're only eleven months apart.
Speaker 1: We were born in the same calendar year. She in
Speaker 1: January and I had December, so we were basically raised
Speaker 1: together and the dynamic hasn't changed from when we were kids.
Speaker 1: She is a professional judger. She judges, that's what she does.
Speaker 1: And so my you know, my entire childhood growing up
Speaker 1: with her was her judging everything I did, everything I said,
Speaker 1: everything that meant something to me, my friends, my girlfriends,
Speaker 1: and so she carried that over into our adult lives.
Speaker 1: She just you know, never stopped being that person, and
Speaker 1: so now the memories that I have of my childhood
Speaker 1: are kind of veiled with a shroud of her judgment,
Speaker 1: of like in her voice. So you know, it's had
Speaker 1: that kind of a of a profound impact on me,
Speaker 1: to the point where now that I'm I'm writing a
Speaker 1: manuscript about my younger years, what do I do with that?
Speaker 1: You know? Am I brutally honest about the way this
Speaker 1: affected me? Or do I be the kinder person and
Speaker 1: temper what I write without the brutal honesty. And I
Speaker 1: was profoundly moved by Life will be the Death of Me, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: So and that's kind of inspired me. I've been a
Speaker 1: professional writer for so many years. This is the first
Speaker 1: time I'm actually writing something about me, and it's because
Speaker 1: of your book. Oh wow, well thank you. Okay, So
Speaker 1: you're you're describing the dynamic between you and your sister,
Speaker 1: and you're describing her behavior. Can I ask you about
Speaker 1: your own behavior in relation to your sister, Like, how
Speaker 1: did you what's your part in that? I'm the younger one,
Speaker 1: I'm eleven months younger, So when we were kids, you know,
Speaker 1: she got to experience everything before I did, and so
Speaker 1: I tried to, I guess, you know, have that to
Speaker 1: look up to, but it never really worked out. And
Speaker 1: then by the time we were teenagers, and then you know,
Speaker 1: in our younger twenties, I want to say, I was
Speaker 1: maybe twenty or twenty one when our when our father
Speaker 1: died so young, the dynamics changed even more so where
Speaker 1: I was taking care of the house and trying to
Speaker 1: put myself through college, and I was immediately thrust into adulthood,
Speaker 1: but there was I don't think she had the same
Speaker 1: kind of inclination to do that. So that kind of
Speaker 1: set the pace for us in terms of what we
Speaker 1: were going to be like as adults. And I always
Speaker 1: wanted an older sister. I have a younger sister, a
Speaker 1: younger brother. I wanted a healthy family dynamic. My wife's
Speaker 1: family is a good example of that. It just it's
Speaker 1: an apple and an orange, though it was just never
Speaker 1: the same. Yeah, yeah, but you have to really think
Speaker 1: about why she acted that way. You know, people who
Speaker 1: are judging are unhappy, and it's about looking outward rather
Speaker 1: than looking inward, right, And you have to try to
Speaker 1: remember that she's obviously coming from a very different place
Speaker 1: and have as much empathy for her as possible. So
Speaker 1: it's it's a conflict because I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I would always want everyone to pursue their dreams. Like
Speaker 1: you writing a novel for the first time, or not
Speaker 1: a novel. You're writing your own story, right, and an
Speaker 1: autobiographical story, so you're writing that. But if you're writing
Speaker 1: under a pen name or an alias, like you know,
Speaker 1: you're going to change all that. You have to change
Speaker 1: all the real stuff anyway. Legally, when you're writing a
Speaker 1: book like that, you have to make people unrecognizable and unidentifiable.
Speaker 1: So you know, you have to make your sister somebody
Speaker 1: with a different name and different occupations. She lives in
Speaker 1: a different city, so there are ways to shroud that.
Speaker 1: But if she do, you know that she's going to
Speaker 1: be reading your stuff, because it sounds like she's pretty disengaged.
Speaker 1: She's very disengaged. I have no idea. I look at
Speaker 1: it this way, you know, with the decent relationships I
Speaker 1: have with my other siblings, and if this does actually
Speaker 1: come to light, you know that, you know, whether it's
Speaker 1: just a personal manuscript or something that actually gets published.
Speaker 1: I find it hard to believe that it won't be
Speaker 1: revealed to her. Right, No, No, you know what. I
Speaker 1: was just reminded by something my friend said to me once,
Speaker 1: which is like, just assume everything you do is going
Speaker 1: to be heard by the people that you're talking about,
Speaker 1: and that's true, Like it will get back to her.
Speaker 1: Of course, again, you could write a manuscript and it
Speaker 1: could be published, or you could write a manuscript and
Speaker 1: it couldn't be published. So it's a lot of ifs,
Speaker 1: ants and butts, right, I mean, hopefully we're we're going
Speaker 1: to work under the assumption that it will be published
Speaker 1: and it will be a huge success. Excellent, Okay, So
Speaker 1: worried about hurting her feelings? Brandon, what do you think
Speaker 1: about that? While I think I think that you have
Speaker 1: to write as authentically as possible, I don't think you're
Speaker 1: going to do yourself any favors by minimizing your experience
Speaker 1: because obviously it's still unsettling for you today and this
Speaker 1: has been ongoing for a very long time. I think
Speaker 1: you're both in a state of arrested development and your interactions,
Speaker 1: and I think that probably comes from her not getting
Speaker 1: the limelight that she thought she was due as the firstborn,
Speaker 1: but tailed very closely by a brother, and my siblings
Speaker 1: and I are all thirteen months apart, so I kind
Speaker 1: of understand that dynamic where everyone was fighting to some
Speaker 1: degree for the attention they thought they were owed. And
Speaker 1: it seems like she took that into adulthood and upon
Speaker 1: the death of your father, she knew the pillar she
Speaker 1: was supposed to take as the l this child, but
Speaker 1: forced you into that position basically because she's like, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing this, like I didn't get my moment. I'm
Speaker 1: not responsible for this. You deal with it, and she will,
Speaker 1: without doubt read the manuscript whatever it turns into. She
Speaker 1: will because she's narcissistic to some degree that again, she
Speaker 1: didn't get that moment, Like now you're writing about her,
Speaker 1: so that's really gonna like tickle her fancy in a way,
Speaker 1: even if you know it's not flattering. But again, I
Speaker 1: think that's why you have to write it authentically, and
Speaker 1: there are appropriate and respectful ways to go about that
Speaker 1: with her. You can send her a version of it
Speaker 1: before it's released, before you do anything with and say
Speaker 1: these this is my reference to our childhood. These are
Speaker 1: my memories. I understand they may not align perfectly with
Speaker 1: your experiences, but I do want you to have this.
Speaker 1: I want you to be aware. If you'd like to
Speaker 1: discuss anything before it goes out, I'm happy to do so.
Speaker 1: Like there are ways to that's a nice way of
Speaker 1: going about it. Yeah, they're I think they're just respectful.
Speaker 1: Is that you have to operate in your best interest
Speaker 1: as well, and in the best way. How you would
Speaker 1: want someone to do that for you? And I don't
Speaker 1: think you do those things to spite someone else. Like,
Speaker 1: obviously you care for your sister. You know that's it's biological.
Speaker 1: You can't not care for your siblings. But I also
Speaker 1: don't think you have to prioritize how she's going to
Speaker 1: feel to tell your story. Yeah, so, like I agree
Speaker 1: with that. I want this to be authentic. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be honest. These are you know, even though the
Speaker 1: names have been changed, or real stories. These are my
Speaker 1: real stories. And so you know, if I go in
Speaker 1: there and and I write dishonestly by omission, then you
Speaker 1: know it's not my story anymore. That's true, And you
Speaker 1: do have every right to tell your story. And I
Speaker 1: mean listen, just by the very fact that you're contemplating
Speaker 1: it means that you're conscientious about it, which is a
Speaker 1: good sign, which means you're not an narcissist or an asshole.
Speaker 1: I mean, you might be an asshole and a narcissist,
Speaker 1: but you know, these questions aren't down that line. So
Speaker 1: again it's like you're writing under a pseudonym like I
Speaker 1: think that allows a lot of room for people to
Speaker 1: get over of themselves. But again, I think Brandon's advice
Speaker 1: is spot on for this. I think providing her with
Speaker 1: the materials beforehand so she doesn't have one more thing
Speaker 1: to say she was blindsided, you know, so she doesn't
Speaker 1: have any more ammunition against it. Be sensitive to the
Speaker 1: fact that it is your sister that she is struggling.
Speaker 1: You probably stole her thunder in a big way that
Speaker 1: you have no idea about the mere presence of you
Speaker 1: being born probably disrupted her entire flow right her, She
Speaker 1: is off. So I would say that, yeah, that that's
Speaker 1: all you can do because you can't prevent You can't
Speaker 1: let somebody else's feelings prevent you from telling your truth. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I ever didn't believe that.
Speaker 1: I think I just needed, you know, to hear somebody
Speaker 1: say it. Yeah, Well great, I mean, problem solved sounds
Speaker 1: like good luck with your manuscript. Well, thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad I didn't have to exit that zoom the
Speaker 1: interworking of sibling relationships, because you know, I've written so
Speaker 1: many books where I've exposed my siblings behavior are stunt,
Speaker 1: stand up and talked about my family in ways that
Speaker 1: has hurt them, and I've gotten in trouble and I've
Speaker 1: hurt my sister's feelings a lot, or my brothers, and
Speaker 1: you know, some of them are so insensitive that they
Speaker 1: don't care and they're just like whatever. But I was
Speaker 1: very insensitive not to run it past them because I
Speaker 1: just think you're part of my family, like you gotta
Speaker 1: you gotta suck it up, Like this is my story.
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell it. You know. Of course I'm
Speaker 1: going to tell a joke about it and stand up.
Speaker 1: But I learned that that's not the right way to
Speaker 1: go about it. So I think presenting the people with
Speaker 1: the material is really the most upright thing to do.
Speaker 1: Do you think that that reframes your stand up material
Speaker 1: as well, So not just in in the books, but
Speaker 1: when you're going to make a reference to somebody, I
Speaker 1: know you've really been thoughtful about how to tell a
Speaker 1: joke without making someone feel bad or bringing someone down.
Speaker 1: Do you think that that affects how you present your comedy.
Speaker 1: Did you think it affects your comedy being any less
Speaker 1: funny in a way? Well, I mean there's always an
Speaker 1: asshole to make fun of it, right, There's no shortage
Speaker 1: of assholes luckily. But yeah, I mean it's a good
Speaker 1: it's a good challenge to not be able to make
Speaker 1: cheap jokes. That's a good challenge for anybody. Which is
Speaker 1: a challenge I welcome. I like to be challenged. It
Speaker 1: makes people work harder. I like to be given a
Speaker 1: little structure because I'm so a structure list and so
Speaker 1: chaotic that I like when somebody says, Okay, this is
Speaker 1: the world you're going to live in. Now build a
Speaker 1: house Like, okay, great, I like this. I like this challenge.
Speaker 1: So but yeah, I have jokes that I've written that
Speaker 1: are about you know, I'm like, this is a bit
Speaker 1: that works. Is am I going to be able to
Speaker 1: tell this on a special like it's about a member
Speaker 1: of my family or it's you know, like it's gonna
Speaker 1: always get back to that. There's never any way around
Speaker 1: that for me. So, and what is your kind of
Speaker 1: spectrum now or I don't know how we would look
Speaker 1: at this, but when you are writing a joke and
Speaker 1: you think it's funny, but it might be on the
Speaker 1: threshold of like crossing a line, whether it be about
Speaker 1: a family member or just something socially or you know, well,
Speaker 1: like I want to tell I want to do this
Speaker 1: bit about, you know, just white male privilege and how
Speaker 1: even young people, you know, the guys that think their
Speaker 1: woke and progressive, are aren't, you know, And and how
Speaker 1: my nephew is woke and a liberal and very progressive,
Speaker 1: but he's still is just basking in white male privilege,
Speaker 1: basking in it, basking and it man splaining ship to
Speaker 1: me left and right, all of us, and it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. You know, like I remember when they
Speaker 1: stayed with me during the quarantine. I'd walk downstairs and
Speaker 1: he's just splayed out on my couch, you know, in
Speaker 1: shorts with his legs open, and I'm like, meanwhile, the girls,
Speaker 1: of which there were four of us, we're all we
Speaker 1: have our air pods in because we're sharing a house together.
Speaker 1: Nobody's sitting on the sofa spread Eagal and I want
Speaker 1: to talk about that, you know, I want to talk
Speaker 1: about how it's so inured into men's nature to take
Speaker 1: up more space and to have less regard for others.
Speaker 1: But I know my sister is gonna get pissed at
Speaker 1: me and she'll be like, can you not do that bit?
Speaker 1: Or maybe my nephew needs to hear me do that bit?
Speaker 1: Maybe you should maybe should do the bit for him
Speaker 1: and get his response. This is a great way to
Speaker 1: test and see if my sister Simone is listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast, because she's not, she'll be in touch. She
Speaker 1: can write in Actually, yeah, Simone, if you're listening, if
Speaker 1: you have any questions, you can write it. No. I mean,
Speaker 1: these are all things which obviously said to him to
Speaker 1: my nephew. But it's a thing now. It's like once
Speaker 1: you have the term to identify it, it's everywhere. Like
Speaker 1: once you realize, oh, white male privilege is a thing,
Speaker 1: it's like all you see is that, and so it
Speaker 1: becomes kind of like again, that is a little bit
Speaker 1: more thoughtful, even implied in comedy than some of these
Speaker 1: easier targets. Like there was a radio show host. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you saw this, but a radio show
Speaker 1: host I guess of a very popular show who walked
Speaker 1: off quit his show because he could not make fun
Speaker 1: of Demilovado changing their pronouns today them was his name
Speaker 1: Piers Morgan, because that sounds like fucking what peers I
Speaker 1: love walking off the show. Only a white man would
Speaker 1: walk off a show. Do you think a person of
Speaker 1: color would storm out of a show? Do you think
Speaker 1: a woman would get up and storm out of a show?
Speaker 1: Only a fucking white man? Yeah, because they know that
Speaker 1: there's going to be another opportunity person's straight white man,
Speaker 1: where that's not the case with a person of color
Speaker 1: or a woman, because they don't know if that opportunity
Speaker 1: is going to come back. But I just thought that
Speaker 1: was interesting because it was so obvious. It's so easy
Speaker 1: to make fun of some of these changes that we're seeing,
Speaker 1: because for a lot of us it's jarring. I mean
Speaker 1: even for me as a gay person, it's a little overwhelming.
Speaker 1: I actually this is a good opportunity to talk about
Speaker 1: because I was talking to my friend last night and
Speaker 1: we were talking about, you know, non binary and changing
Speaker 1: the pronouns, and so there's a pronoun where you can
Speaker 1: be she or her and then you can choose to
Speaker 1: be she and they. So what's the distinction there? Can
Speaker 1: you break that down? Okay? So one of my friends
Speaker 1: in his instagram by because now on Instagram you can
Speaker 1: program your pronouns, and his is he they and His
Speaker 1: rationale for that was, he identifies as a man, but
Speaker 1: any person can also be identified plurally. We already do
Speaker 1: it to some degree. They ran for a drink whatever.
Speaker 1: So he thought that it was more inclusive to also
Speaker 1: be able to be applied plurally than just as a singular.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a representation of how there's a
Speaker 1: sexual identity evolved in that. It's just he they, So
Speaker 1: she and her and then she and they is just
Speaker 1: that's just it. They want to just it's more inclusive.
Speaker 1: I think, So then why don't we just do that
Speaker 1: for everything? I'm sure that's not the case for everyone.
Speaker 1: This is going to be a learning process. Everyone has
Speaker 1: a learning curve with this. Right now. My partner works
Speaker 1: in LGBT media. There are daily changes in the representation
Speaker 1: and the pronouns. There are things that are basically just
Speaker 1: sounds like zees er. Those are pronouns. You don't see
Speaker 1: them used, but that's a thing what is z Those
Speaker 1: are two pronouns, so there's there's just a plethora. I
Speaker 1: think that's like all encompassing that there's and again, all
Speaker 1: we can do is learn and accept it and just
Speaker 1: get it right. Well, let's see if we get this
Speaker 1: next advice right. This is from Sonny thirty four, Seattle.
Speaker 1: It's an alias, I'm sure, but we'll talk to Sonny.
Speaker 1: Why do you say that because it's in quotes. Yeah, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: then I would say it is an alias. She's a
Speaker 1: store manager for a luxury brand. She writes, Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 1: I enjoy the company I work for, and I also
Speaker 1: have a really tough boss. I know that if I
Speaker 1: can stick it out, there will be good opportunities on
Speaker 1: the other side. But this lady is killing me. She
Speaker 1: wants a business robot who doesn't have feelings or emotions.
Speaker 1: I've been that bitch before, and that is not who
Speaker 1: I want to be anymore. I'm stressed and exhausted all
Speaker 1: the time from trying to be myself and being bullied
Speaker 1: back into the box of who someone else thinks I
Speaker 1: should be. I've been at this company for seven years
Speaker 1: and I don't want to start over. What the fun
Speaker 1: do I do. Hi Sonny, Hello, Hi, Hi Brandon, Hi.
Speaker 1: How are you. I'm doing well. How are you all doing?
Speaker 1: We're doing well too, Thank you. So tell us about
Speaker 1: this woman that you work for. What's her story, what's
Speaker 1: the problem, what's the dynamic. Yeah, the dynamic is interesting.
Speaker 1: I have worked with this woman for about three years
Speaker 1: and only reported directly to her for the last six
Speaker 1: months or so. And she's definitely a little bit on
Speaker 1: the older side. She's been in the industry for a
Speaker 1: really long time. She's very well respected in the company,
Speaker 1: but she has a lot of those just older tendencies, right.
Speaker 1: She gets really uncomfortable when people are emotional. She gets
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable anytime people start talking about money or personal problems.
Speaker 1: So it's, you know, she's not really with the times
Speaker 1: when it comes to what people are currently kind of
Speaker 1: going through in the world. And even and I think of,
Speaker 1: you know, being a woman in the workplace and wanting
Speaker 1: to talk about some of those problems, talking about, you know,
Speaker 1: how do you make more money, how do you make
Speaker 1: network connections. She's really just cuts you off and puts
Speaker 1: you at a distance, and it's really uncomfortable with all
Speaker 1: of that. She loves a woman who is very business oriented,
Speaker 1: you know, like put on your blazer, put on your
Speaker 1: red lipstick, and let's get to work. And I just
Speaker 1: can't do that anymore. I've been that person. It's really unfulfilling,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. Well, first, I mean,
Speaker 1: you say you love working there. This woman seems like
Speaker 1: she's not with the times. But I would argue that
Speaker 1: you cannot let one person control your disposition or mood.
Speaker 1: Right You're giving her way too much power. She's only
Speaker 1: your boss right now. You're only reporting to her right now.
Speaker 1: So like, there are workarounds that you can do to
Speaker 1: tolerate this woman and kind of get what you need
Speaker 1: and give her what she expects. And you have to
Speaker 1: look at this situation as temporary and all of the
Speaker 1: other pos of things around it. Like you've been there
Speaker 1: for seven years, you love the work, you just don't
Speaker 1: like her personality. That's no reason to leave a job. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, I know that you're right. I also I
Speaker 1: don't know, like how long I can continue to be
Speaker 1: under the emotional duress, you know, without having more an outlet.
Speaker 1: I guess, So, how do you feel the emotional dress?
Speaker 1: I mean I'm a I lead other people, so leading
Speaker 1: other employees to being a manager, you're kind of like
Speaker 1: at that critical friction point of you know, I need
Speaker 1: you guys to take care of the customers. I need
Speaker 1: you to do these things, and I also am here
Speaker 1: to take care of you. Right, I'm their leader. I'm
Speaker 1: their boss. And anytime there's something that we need to
Speaker 1: work through as a team or a problem, and I
Speaker 1: want to work through it with my leader, you can't
Speaker 1: bring that emotion into it. It has to be one
Speaker 1: about the business and when you're working with people, when
Speaker 1: your whole job is to take care of people, to
Speaker 1: not have that same mentality for your self. That's what
Speaker 1: I find. Really it's grinding where it's like I'm giving
Speaker 1: a lot for my team and I I would hope
Speaker 1: that I would have someone who is doing the same
Speaker 1: thing for me. And it's hard to just pretend like
Speaker 1: everything is fine all the time. Okay, well, but you
Speaker 1: seem to be going to an empty well for water, right,
Speaker 1: you seem to need emotional support, yet you're going to
Speaker 1: somebody who's not equipped to give it to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're definitely right. So can you get that emotional support elsewhere? Like,
Speaker 1: can you go to a therapist and get an emotional support?
Speaker 1: Are you in a position where you can afford to
Speaker 1: go to therapy? I can afford to go to therapy. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is definitely something that I am actively doing and
Speaker 1: will continue to do. So you're in therapy, yes, I have, Well,
Speaker 1: I see a stress coach. So I'm seeing a coach,
Speaker 1: which is helpful, helpful to have tools and some active resources,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't really alleviate the fact that you're being
Speaker 1: stifled emotionally at work for sure. Yeah, ups at home, right,
Speaker 1: it helps when I leave work and walk away from it.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts about her, like who's senior to her?
Speaker 1: Like is there a scenario that you would have a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone that's supervising her about this dynamic? Definitely,
Speaker 1: and that has happened. So I did have a skip
Speaker 1: level with him earlier this year, and he said, on
Speaker 1: one hand, I know there's a place for you in
Speaker 1: this company. I know that there's a place for people
Speaker 1: who want to come to work and be wholehearted and
Speaker 1: take good care of the employees and take care of customers.
Speaker 1: And you have to understand that she is the way
Speaker 1: that she is, and so it's now like this culture
Speaker 1: that this is her behavior. I'm not the only person
Speaker 1: who experiences it, and so I have to deal with it,
Speaker 1: and it's like you have to suck it up, right, Well,
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing. I think you're need.
Speaker 1: You're going to need to get that emotional support that
Speaker 1: you're looking for from someone else, and whether that's a
Speaker 1: girlfriend or whether that's like a partner or a relative,
Speaker 1: a sister, brother, or a therapist. I think you do
Speaker 1: have to kind of accept people for who they are
Speaker 1: and stop expecting them to fulfill Even though we're living
Speaker 1: at a different time and times are changing, people are
Speaker 1: not fucking caught up. They do not get the message,
Speaker 1: and people are stuck in their ways. And you can
Speaker 1: have empathy for her and sympathy for her, you don't
Speaker 1: have to act on that. You don't have to show
Speaker 1: up for her in any of those ways. You just
Speaker 1: have to take care of yourself and you cannot look
Speaker 1: for her to do it. So I really would suggest
Speaker 1: that you find that kind of outlet for yourself, because
Speaker 1: you're taking care of yourself in a way that's going
Speaker 1: to make you understand that she is just a pawn.
Speaker 1: In this game of life. And if she's not worth
Speaker 1: you leaving a company over where you enjoy your position,
Speaker 1: she will be gone at some point and hopefully you
Speaker 1: will remain there and you will be in a different position,
Speaker 1: or you'll be in her position. I mean, yeah, that
Speaker 1: would be the dream. Yeah, So I think, imagine leaving
Speaker 1: because of her. I mean, what does that say she
Speaker 1: has that much power over you? Well, I also think
Speaker 1: what it would do for like the next person who
Speaker 1: has to report to her or the rest of the
Speaker 1: people on my team. It's like, at least now they
Speaker 1: have me and they can report to me, and I
Speaker 1: care about them and I take the time for them.
Speaker 1: And it's like if they had to report directly to her,
Speaker 1: would just be turned into burning. So I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: very good, Yeah, good to be that person put the
Speaker 1: people on my team. And no, you're totally right, it's
Speaker 1: totally temporary. Yeah, she's not gonna be around forever. And
Speaker 1: you know you're not gonna be at this job forever.
Speaker 1: But as while you like it and while you enjoy it,
Speaker 1: you need to like look at her as a like
Speaker 1: a project in your mind, and you are going to
Speaker 1: handle her the way she handles you, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a special case that needs kid gloves.
Speaker 1: And this is the personality I put on when I
Speaker 1: have to report to her because I'm going to play
Speaker 1: her game better than she's going to play it. And
Speaker 1: you know, she's not even playing a game. She's just
Speaker 1: being you know, older and not with the time. So
Speaker 1: I think that, yes, I think that's what you should do.
Speaker 1: You should really just get ahead of this. You're letting
Speaker 1: her control you and you can control the situation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, you're right. Thank you. Any other advice
Speaker 1: for a woman in the working world and carving out
Speaker 1: their own path, that's something that you excel at. Chelsea. Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought you were talking to Brandon. I am a
Speaker 1: woman in the working world. Listen, I understand. I've been
Speaker 1: in charge of people who wanted to emotional support for me,
Speaker 1: Like I've had people work for me and I didn't
Speaker 1: have the bandwidth. You know. I try to be there
Speaker 1: for as many people as I can, but I can
Speaker 1: also relate to her and having to deal with so
Speaker 1: many changes and having so many people come to you
Speaker 1: and and not being equipped to, you know, have people
Speaker 1: emotionally lean on you. So I can kind of see that,
Speaker 1: But I would just say to be the example that
Speaker 1: you want to see. You know you want to It's
Speaker 1: like being the change you want to see. You can
Speaker 1: only model what you want to portray. And the best
Speaker 1: version of yourself is is not to look at certain
Speaker 1: people like, oh, they don't get it, they don't understand me.
Speaker 1: It's like every personality is handled in a little bit
Speaker 1: of a different way. You have to handle people a
Speaker 1: little bit differently, and that's a fun challenge if you
Speaker 1: look at it like that, you know, because then you
Speaker 1: can get to her in different ways, and who knows
Speaker 1: what kind of relationship you can create when you stop
Speaker 1: resisting the fact that she's not on the same page
Speaker 1: as you and look for other commonalities between the two
Speaker 1: of you. Yeah, and model the change. I love that
Speaker 1: you said that. It's like, who knows what's going to
Speaker 1: happen if I can do me and be myself and
Speaker 1: like work around her instead, right, Like, and you can
Speaker 1: do that, You can totally do that. My friend isn't
Speaker 1: a job where she has a bunch of people reporting
Speaker 1: to her, and she has one woman that reports to
Speaker 1: her that complained about her, and she was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you don't understand how much time and how
Speaker 1: much effort I've spent with this girl, and I've sat
Speaker 1: with her and she's failed to complain about me, and
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, there's like so much there's like
Speaker 1: this huge chasm between them now because they're just both
Speaker 1: not on the same page at all. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not uncommon. It's happening all over. It's just like,
Speaker 1: aren't you smart enough to figure out a way around that?
Speaker 1: I think so? I think you're right. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: Well problem solves, Sonny. There you go, good luck, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, Bye, Sonny, thanks for calling. Appreciate the time.
Speaker 1: By Chelsea by Brandon, Bye bye bye. Oh god, must
Speaker 1: working retail? I do not, Oh god, that would just
Speaker 1: be that must be so catty. Although women are learning
Speaker 1: to be kinder and gentler to each other, people just
Speaker 1: need to learn to be kinder and gentler. Well, women,
Speaker 1: women have been pitted against each other, and you know
Speaker 1: they're they're pitted against each other because of of our culture.
Speaker 1: And women need to know like we're all on the
Speaker 1: same team, Like you've got to look out for other
Speaker 1: women always, always, always. Yeah, that is something else I
Speaker 1: was thinking about the other day was how these younger
Speaker 1: stars show up for each other in a way that
Speaker 1: like Whitney Houston and Mariah Kerry did not. This is
Speaker 1: a very gay reference, but there's like they now see
Speaker 1: through all of that bullshit, all of the background noise, like, well,
Speaker 1: there can only be one of you. That's not true. Obviously,
Speaker 1: it's been proven time and time and end. So all
Speaker 1: these women like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry realized like,
Speaker 1: oh what, we don't need to have the sort of
Speaker 1: dynamic like we can support each other even if we
Speaker 1: aren't best friends. But that's that's not the narrative we
Speaker 1: need created for us. How are these girls supporting each
Speaker 1: other more? Now? They just show up, They're doing music
Speaker 1: videos together, you know, there's they're coming out for each
Speaker 1: other's projects, and there was I saw something recently that
Speaker 1: it was Maria Kerry had Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande
Speaker 1: on one of her Christmas songs, which was a huge deal,
Speaker 1: Like she's never done this before, She's never had someone
Speaker 1: of Ariana's caliber singing with her, and just for so long,
Speaker 1: like you're saying, women were positioned like you are the
Speaker 1: only one. You are the best. You can't allow anyone
Speaker 1: else to come in. And you know she had to
Speaker 1: get with the times to and be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't operate that way. Like we need to be supporting
Speaker 1: each other, we need to be leveraging one another. So
Speaker 1: that is nice to see that women are stepping out
Speaker 1: and yeah, that's the way it should be what men
Speaker 1: want them to do. Okay, So speaking of what men
Speaker 1: would like us to do, let's take a break in
Speaker 1: terms of you know, the memoir writing and offending your
Speaker 1: family member. I mean, I'm already doing that again, you know,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned earlier, I'm doing it in stand up.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about living with my nephew. I told him
Speaker 1: when I saw him on Nantucket, like, hey, you're in
Speaker 1: my set. He's like okay, So you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: the best person to give advice on that topic, which
Speaker 1: I would like to reiterate, Brandon. Our last mission comes
Speaker 1: from I think Laura. Yeah, good to Laura, she writes
Speaker 1: your Chelsea. When I was born, my mom was a
Speaker 1: nanny for an old, rich family that owned a large
Speaker 1: estate which we lived on every day or most days.
Speaker 1: My mom looked after two boys and me until we
Speaker 1: moved away. When I was eleven and didn't keep in touch.
Speaker 1: Fast forward, I'm now forty nine. I started dreaming about
Speaker 1: the youngest boy who I was besotted. What does that
Speaker 1: word besotted means? To have a to be taken by
Speaker 1: somebody like a crush. Okay, I'm gonna incorporate. I was
Speaker 1: besotted seven or eight years ago. I started daydreaming about
Speaker 1: meeting him, and then one day his dad died and
Speaker 1: my mom went to his funeral. We went in for
Speaker 1: a quick coug He gave me eye contact in a
Speaker 1: nervous way, and we hardly spoke. I cried all the
Speaker 1: way home. My mom was really concerned, and then I
Speaker 1: went into an emotional depression for weeks. I know he's
Speaker 1: married with three children. His wife looks a bit like me,
Speaker 1: so that made me smile. Let me just keep going.
Speaker 1: I emailed him once, but he never spent responded. My
Speaker 1: mom died a few weeks ago and my mom called
Speaker 1: him and he never replied. But from the other side
Speaker 1: read Laurelan Jackson's book, You'll know but his brother always
Speaker 1: keeps in contact. I have the opportunity to go to
Speaker 1: my mom's celebration party in this summer, but I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I can put myself through the rejection again.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is I have a really immediate
Speaker 1: response for her. My question is do I forget about
Speaker 1: him and leave him the past, or do I go
Speaker 1: to the party and trying to rekindle some sort of
Speaker 1: relationship even though I feel deep down that he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to go there. I've attached an old photo of
Speaker 1: me and him. I'm looking forward to hearing your advice. Hi, Laura,
Speaker 1: you need to move the on. He's married over. It's over.
Speaker 1: He's married right now. For he's married. For as long
Speaker 1: as he's married, there's no chance of a reconciliation, or
Speaker 1: there's no reconciliation because there never was anything to begin with.
Speaker 1: So I want to just say, like, you sound slightly delusional,
Speaker 1: and you really are letting a man who isn't seemingly
Speaker 1: interested in you have way too much control over you,
Speaker 1: Like you're stronger than that, and you can find somebody
Speaker 1: else and not focus all of your attention on a
Speaker 1: childhood crush, because that's all it was. You had a
Speaker 1: childhood crush. We've all had them, and then we grow
Speaker 1: up and they're over, and yours is over. So you
Speaker 1: have to listen to the fact that this is not
Speaker 1: not healthy. Not healthy, honey, sorry to call you honey.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be patronizing or condescending. I want
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be loving, like you're better than this.
Speaker 1: This is not who you are or who you want
Speaker 1: to be. This is just something old that you kind
Speaker 1: of need to I think it will be a great
Speaker 1: sense of closure. Yes, you need to go to his
Speaker 1: mother's memorial celebration and comport yourself or her celebration and
Speaker 1: however you guys are calling it, so yeah, does she
Speaker 1: need to go to that? No, she doesn't. He should
Speaker 1: just be making herself present and putting herself through something. Okay, So, Laura,
Speaker 1: if you can't handle going to his mother's memorial celebration
Speaker 1: and going through that and acting like an adult and
Speaker 1: actually making a new impression, because I think there's a
Speaker 1: vibe that you people understand you've had a crush on him,
Speaker 1: and I think he probably understands that you've had a
Speaker 1: crush on him, And so I wouldn't set yourself up
Speaker 1: for that unless you're going to put yourself in a
Speaker 1: situation where you can go there with your head held high.
Speaker 1: And act in a dignified way and accept that he's
Speaker 1: married and that you're not in a relationship with him,
Speaker 1: and then pay your respects to his dead mother. Well, honestly, Laura,
Speaker 1: don't go to that. You shouldn't go to that. If
Speaker 1: you want, if you want to send your condolences, send
Speaker 1: a nice arrangement or a note like making yourself present.
Speaker 1: It's going to be the stracting and it's just going
Speaker 1: to be like a cry for attention. So don't do it. Yeah, Laura,
Speaker 1: you're better than this. This is a childhood crush and
Speaker 1: those expire for a reason, just like high school ends
Speaker 1: for a fucking reason, So did childhood crushes. And also,
Speaker 1: can we please stop trying to hit on someone at
Speaker 1: a funeral, a parents funeral especially, well really any funeral.
Speaker 1: I mean, why are people thinking that that's an opportunity
Speaker 1: to hook up. I remember when my mom died, I
Speaker 1: walked into my parents bathroom and I was looking through
Speaker 1: my mom's medication to see if I wanted any of it.
Speaker 1: I was going to my mom's funeral, and I already
Speaker 1: thought that was kind of gross that I was doing that.
Speaker 1: But when I got there, my brother Roy was already
Speaker 1: in the medicine cabinet doing exactly what I was going
Speaker 1: to do, and I was like, what did you find?
Speaker 1: And he had found like a bunch of stuff, and
Speaker 1: he's like, norko, da da dada this anyway, So I
Speaker 1: then prescribed, obviously after that what my brother was going
Speaker 1: to take in what I was going to take, and
Speaker 1: then told him to get out so that I could
Speaker 1: take my Norco and peace for my mother's funeral. But
Speaker 1: I thought that was inappropriate even then, while I was
Speaker 1: in the situation, I knew that my behavior was inappropriate,
Speaker 1: but you know, it was a funeral. I'm allowed to
Speaker 1: do whatever I want to do, really when my mother dies,
Speaker 1: and this seems much more inappropriate. Hitting on someone at
Speaker 1: a funeral is such a bad move if you think
Speaker 1: it's okay to do that, because it's not. It's disrespectful
Speaker 1: to the people that have lost someone. Even if it
Speaker 1: wasn't the right time and someone was at a funeral
Speaker 1: and somebody kind of mad. Even if I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: that he's cute, but not now, if he did that,
Speaker 1: he would no longer be cute. Like what's cute about
Speaker 1: a man is a man who knows that that's inappropriate.
Speaker 1: I hate having to explain this ship all the time,
Speaker 1: you know, and then I come out like I'm the
Speaker 1: bad guy that I hate. Man, It's like, no, actually,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help you. If you would listen. Problem solved, Laura,
Speaker 1: get a new problem actually, and I mean poor thing
Speaker 1: people struggling with child I mean, here's let me see
Speaker 1: this picture she sent. She said love to Burton Bernie.
Speaker 1: Anyone who's writing to Burton Bernice, Just so you know,
Speaker 1: Burt is with a b E r T, and then
Speaker 1: Bernie is b E r N. I c e this
Speaker 1: and you guys are also a boer and three years
Speaker 1: old in this picture. Who knows like they're not? This
Speaker 1: is a childhood photo. Okay, I don't know what to
Speaker 1: say to her. I think we've said it all. Move on, Laura, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's let's let's also move on. Well we are that
Speaker 1: was the last submission for the day. Okay, well then
Speaker 1: let's move on to Margarita's were wrapped up. You've worked
Speaker 1: to you? Oh yeah, that's right. Okay, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: you guys. We'll be back next week. Good bye. Also,
Speaker 1: I am on tour. My tickets are officially on sale.
Speaker 1: We've added a couple of extra shows. We're going to
Speaker 1: be announcing dates as we go. You can buy tickets
Speaker 1: a ticket Master and tickets are available and I can't
Speaker 1: fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and horny, so make sure
Speaker 1: that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nous and
Speaker 1: then keep them to yourself. Please. If you want any
Speaker 1: assistance with your partner, your best friend, really anything, you
Speaker 1: can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.