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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody. Welcome to Dear Chelsea. Thanks for tuning in

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Speaker 1: and listening. Do you tune in it? I don't know

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Speaker 1: what goes on anymore. I have to say that I

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Speaker 1: had the absolute best time playing the Santa Barbara Bowl.

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Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone who was there. It was

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Speaker 1: such good vibes. I had tons of friends come out,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just really excited about my stand up tour.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to give you guys some more stand

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Speaker 1: up dates. If you live in Cincinnati, September, I'm coming

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Speaker 1: to Cincinnati. If you live there, get your tickets. I'm

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Speaker 1: coming to Detroit on October one. October two, I'm coming

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Speaker 1: to Indianapolis. That's in Indiana, and then October three I

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Speaker 1: will be in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So I am coming

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Speaker 1: to perform Taft Theater, Filmore Detroit, Detroit, the Murat in Indianapolis,

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Speaker 1: and then Davos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids. And if

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Speaker 1: you don't live in one of those cities, I'm probably

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Speaker 1: coming to a city near you. I'm coming to Florida.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of action in Florida. I'm coming to Portland, Maine.

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Speaker 1: I'm coming to Jacksonville, Miami, Beach St. Petersburg, going to Arizona, Reno,

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Speaker 1: all of my places anyway. Look for tickets at Chelsea

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Speaker 1: handler dot com, ticket Master Live Nation only fans. So

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Speaker 1: I am coming to you, and I hope that you

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Speaker 1: guys come and see my vaccinated in Horny too are

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Speaker 1: because it's so much fun and I go off. It's

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Speaker 1: O G Chelsea, I am. I'm just so sick of

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Speaker 1: I've been trying. I've been homeless everybody for for I'm

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Speaker 1: not homeless. I'm in a rental house, but I might

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Speaker 1: as well be homeless because everything in this rental house

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Speaker 1: was broken so many times. I just can't even believe.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like I'm in a practical joke show like

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Speaker 1: Girls Behaving Badly, a show that I used to be on.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's pranking me. First, there was an

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Speaker 1: electrical fire. I had to be taken out of the

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Speaker 1: house by the l A p D. Or no, the

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Speaker 1: l A Fire Department. The police were not there, thankfully

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Speaker 1: because they don't like me either, and they had to

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Speaker 1: basically lift me over the gate to the rental house

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Speaker 1: because the gate would not open or close. So I

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Speaker 1: slept in a hotel for seven days. Then I came back.

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Speaker 1: Then the A C broke in the house, then the

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Speaker 1: oven broke, then the air conditioning broke again, and then

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Speaker 1: they pulled something out of the air conditioning unit that

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Speaker 1: looked like something my father would have dreury rigged together

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Speaker 1: when he was a car dealer, a used car dealer.

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Speaker 1: It was like duct tape, like a phone wrapped in

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Speaker 1: duct tape, with styrophone stuffed in between the phone and

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Speaker 1: the duct tape in the middle of the air conditioning conduit.

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Speaker 1: And I just looked at it, and I thought, is

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Speaker 1: this my father haunting me? I am in a rental

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Speaker 1: house that is tantamount to the rental house that my

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Speaker 1: father used to rent on Martha's Vineyard, where he described

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Speaker 1: the basement as a pie de te, Like, I am

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Speaker 1: paying a large amount of money for a house that

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Speaker 1: doesn't work, and the owners seem to think that they're

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Speaker 1: not responsible for any of these inconveniences. So I am

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Speaker 1: just like you know, and I'm at a point where

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Speaker 1: obviously I'm not gonna get involved with these kinds of

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Speaker 1: arguments and stuff because I just can't. It's too silly

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Speaker 1: and it's too much of a waste of your time.

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Speaker 1: But I would like to go on the record and

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Speaker 1: say that I have not cried once, and five years ago,

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Speaker 1: before therapy, I would have been a real basket case.

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Speaker 1: But I've slept without air conditioning several nights. Now I

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Speaker 1: have fans that I have to turn on, and I'm thriving,

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Speaker 1: you know, just waiting to get the hell out of there.

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Speaker 1: So if anyone knows of another rental that I could

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Speaker 1: rent in the meantime, please, I'm looking in that Greater

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Speaker 1: l A area. Maybe it's time for me to move

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Speaker 1: to the valley. Maybe I just give it and give up.

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Speaker 1: And additionally, I had a house that I bought, but

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Speaker 1: then I found out that Mulholland Drive owns like part

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Speaker 1: of the land in front of the house that I bought.

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Speaker 1: So I pulled out of that house as soon as

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Speaker 1: I found out that at any point the city of

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles could decide to widen Mulholland and my lawn

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Speaker 1: would be shortened. I thought. That also reminded me of

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Speaker 1: my father. They have an easeman. I thought my father

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Speaker 1: would buy a house with an easement like that, where

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Speaker 1: you thought, you know, it's unlikely that that would happen.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it isn't unlikely. It seems unlikely. It seems like

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Speaker 1: it would be hugely expensive to widen Mulholland. But in

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Speaker 1: the event that they did decide to do that, I

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Speaker 1: would just have to let that happen. Totally devalues the

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Speaker 1: property and the privacy. So I have no house again.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like a nomad right now. I feel

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Speaker 1: very like anchor rudderless, you know, without a house. But

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Speaker 1: I also I don't want to commit to Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: I have this I don't know. I'm going through something.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully it's early menopause. And in other exciting news last

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Speaker 1: week's episode where we talked about Pandemic of Love, my

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Speaker 1: friend who runs Pandemic of Love. You can follow her

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Speaker 1: at Mindful Skater Girl on Instagram. Her name is Shelly

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Speaker 1: to Gilski, who I will have as a guest when

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Speaker 1: we return for season two. For sure, we had over

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Speaker 1: a thousand listeners call in to become donors at Pandemic

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Speaker 1: of Love, so a thousand of you got eyes heard

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Speaker 1: that and then decided to go help a stranger in

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Speaker 1: the name of mutual aid. So I just want to

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Speaker 1: say thank you to everybody who did that and for

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Speaker 1: the people who are struggling right now and receiving mutual

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Speaker 1: aid from strangers and people who are kind enough to

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Speaker 1: help you. You will be in a position in the

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Speaker 1: future where you will be able to do the same

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Speaker 1: for others. So it's the gift of giving, and it

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Speaker 1: continues and it's a beautiful thing. And I can't wait

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Speaker 1: for you guys all to meet Shelley because she's just

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Speaker 1: a great friend and she's just started this incredible organization

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Speaker 1: and everyone who hits me up on Instagram that I

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Speaker 1: turn over to her, she has helped pay their bills.

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Speaker 1: They vet everybody to make sure that they are paying

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Speaker 1: the bills directly, and they're helping people in their times

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Speaker 1: of need. So this is important and it's a good

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Speaker 1: reminder about humanity. And then not everybody's a fucking asshole. Okay, Okay, anyway,

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Speaker 1: what do we do now, Brandon? Okay, So this is

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Speaker 1: pasting future. So these are questions people have about past

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Speaker 1: issues or upcome events. So one of them is a

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Speaker 1: question about a new job. Someone who is cautious about

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Speaker 1: releasing his memoir, someone who can stop thinking about her

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Speaker 1: childhood crush. So we cover a lot of bases today

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Speaker 1: and our first submission comes from Ashley. We actually have

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Speaker 1: a little voice note from her. She's twenty nine out

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Speaker 1: of Houston. She's a teacher, so let's play her voice memo.

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Speaker 1: Hi there. I'm Ashley, a twenty nine year old teacher

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Speaker 1: in Houston, and I'm having a hard time deciding if

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Speaker 1: I should stay at the school i'm at or move on,

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Speaker 1: maybe even try a new city. I'd give the school

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Speaker 1: I work out five out of ten. Leadership is awful. However,

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Speaker 1: my partner teacher is my best friend and I love

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Speaker 1: working with her. The thought of leaving what I know

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Speaker 1: for something different gives me major anxiety, and I tend

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Speaker 1: to shut down. There's a part of me that would

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Speaker 1: love to live in a different city and move on.

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Speaker 1: But what if I move and it's a worse situation.

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Speaker 1: Should I just be thankful for the good I have

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Speaker 1: and leave it alone? Thank you? I would say that

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Speaker 1: if you have severe anxiety that you're already worried about

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Speaker 1: that will be a result of moving into a situation

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Speaker 1: that you're not going to have a clear idea about

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Speaker 1: for a long time, that you might want to just

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Speaker 1: stay where you are. You've got a best friend, that

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Speaker 1: you love working with. That's a lot more than a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have. And if she's a teacher, right,

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Speaker 1: and if you are a teacher and there's poor leadership

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Speaker 1: where you're teaching, I would say that they need you

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Speaker 1: even more if you love your job and what you do.

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Speaker 1: If it's a five out of a ten, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe you and your friend can make that school six

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Speaker 1: out of a ten instead of a five out of ten. Like,

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Speaker 1: you have so much more influence than you even realize,

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Speaker 1: And so I wouldn't quit on the school because of

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Speaker 1: the leadership. I would use that as a reason to

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Speaker 1: stay at the school because of the board leadership. What

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Speaker 1: do you think, sweetheart? I agree. I think that if

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Speaker 1: you do want to leave, it's always best to have

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Speaker 1: some sort of game plan in place. So if there

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Speaker 1: is a catalyst for you moving, like you really just

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Speaker 1: want to live in a new city, I can understand

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Speaker 1: that if you have things kind of set in place,

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Speaker 1: like you know, you've mentioned that you have a partner

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Speaker 1: teacher that you love working with, that you are happy

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Speaker 1: outside of the leadership that you're getting at the school,

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Speaker 1: then that should be more reason, as Chelsea said, for

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Speaker 1: you to invest in the school and make the change

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Speaker 1: you want to see. I think if you're having anxiety,

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Speaker 1: like if you need a guarantee that you're gonna love

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Speaker 1: the city you're going to move to, and that you're

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Speaker 1: going to find a new best friend and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: find with all these things. If you need that to

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Speaker 1: be guaranteed in order to make the move, then don't

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Speaker 1: make the move. Like you have to be open to

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Speaker 1: that maybe not working out and then maybe you go

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Speaker 1: to a different city. You kind of have to have

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Speaker 1: a different kind of attitude and a different set of anxiety, right, totally.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you should probably stay what is

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Speaker 1: her name against Ashley. I think you should stay put

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Speaker 1: Ashley and continue to build your community and build a

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Speaker 1: school that you're in and just be a fucking badass

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Speaker 1: example for all your students and help them be better too.

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Speaker 1: That's that I feel like I need a protein shake.

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Speaker 1: I felt like that was a protein shake. Would you

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Speaker 1: like one of my meat six that you please don't

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Speaker 1: open the meat sticks inside the podcast studio. I haven't

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Speaker 1: eat it before it came into We have to find

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Speaker 1: a house where we can build where we can have

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Speaker 1: a room as a podcast studio because the studio we're

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Speaker 1: working out of. It's very sterile, and it's in the valley. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you don't love the valley. I don't mind the valley. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I have to say, this is a very short jaunt

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Speaker 1: and it's very easy to come here, so I don't

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Speaker 1: mind the valley. It's better than going to Beverly Hills.

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Speaker 1: Beverly Hills is the worst, and it's way better than

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Speaker 1: when we have to drive over to Hollywood. Oh well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was the worst. Hollywood is a bit it's just

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Speaker 1: a bit dirty. It's it's very dirty. Olive l A

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Speaker 1: is getting very dirty. Honestly, it's alarming. Okay, we're going

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Speaker 1: to take a break for a quick at and we'll

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Speaker 1: be right back. Our next mission comes from Oh this

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Speaker 1: is an interesting name, truf um t r E f

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Speaker 1: o M. He's on the East Coast. He's a writer,

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Speaker 1: and he says, Dear Chelsea, life will be the death

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Speaker 1: of Me was so excellent that it moved me to

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Speaker 1: finally write the memoir that I have been rattling around

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Speaker 1: in my brain for many years. The challenges that it's

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Speaker 1: pretty unflattering to my mother and one of my sisters.

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Speaker 1: Do I go ahead with it. I'm even using a pseudonym.

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Speaker 1: But I'm still unsure. My mother has dementia, so she'll

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Speaker 1: likely never be offended, but my sister certainly will. She

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Speaker 1: hasn't spoken to me more than six years. I have

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Speaker 1: no idea why I'm guessing I'm an asshole or something. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's good to self assess in that in that way,

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Speaker 1: he goes on to say, But but in the final analysis,

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Speaker 1: she sucked me over pretty good when we were kids,

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Speaker 1: So should I even care what she thinks about the memoir?

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Speaker 1: P s. I'm not just some winker who thinks I

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Speaker 1: can write a memoir. I'm a professional writer with more

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Speaker 1: than thirty years of experience. And he's on the phone. Hi,

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Speaker 1: Cheff Chaffam cheff M. Yeah, So Traffam's my pen name,

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Speaker 1: Truff Markoff. It's actually my great grandfather's name. He was

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Speaker 1: a Russian immigrant. Okay, I was going to say, that's

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Speaker 1: not a name I've ever heard. So, but if you've

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Speaker 1: been working with the name, okay, got it? Russian? Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's why I haven't heard it. So why doesn't your

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Speaker 1: sister talk to you? Chelsea? I wish I knew, I

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Speaker 1: really wish I knew so about seven or so years ago.

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Speaker 1: She just kind of turned me off, didn't respond to emails,

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Speaker 1: text phone calls. I wanted to reach out, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I tried to several times over the course of the

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Speaker 1: first I don't know, like two or three years, and

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Speaker 1: I never got a response. So eventually, you know, I

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Speaker 1: just started feeling got chumped, and I thought, I'm done

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Speaker 1: with this. If she doesn't want me in her life,

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Speaker 1: I'm done with this. But is there anything that could

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Speaker 1: have happened that you think might be the reason why

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Speaker 1: she's not speaking to you. I mean, I guess there's

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Speaker 1: no single incident I think that stands out in my mind.

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Speaker 1: She's always been very jealous of the fact that I

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Speaker 1: have a good relationship with my in laws, and things are,

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Speaker 1: you know, oftentimes strained with my own family of origin,

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Speaker 1: you know, mostly her and my mother. But a particular

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Speaker 1: incident I don't know, and this goes October two was

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Speaker 1: the last I heard from her. And do you have

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Speaker 1: other siblings? I do. I have a younger sister and

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Speaker 1: a younger brother. Relationship is good with both of them.

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Speaker 1: My mother is eighty and she's dealing with pretty fair

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Speaker 1: amount of dementia, even though she doesn't admit that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well most people with dementia don't right anyway, So sorry

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Speaker 1: we topic. Okay, but wait, I'm not done with your siblings.

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Speaker 1: So that you are other two siblings that you do

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Speaker 1: have a healthy relationship with. Do they talk to your

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Speaker 1: sister not in a healthy way? You know, there's there's

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Speaker 1: things that they have to do and discuss in relation

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Speaker 1: to taking care of our mother. But you know it's

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Speaker 1: not like you know, me and my younger brother and

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Speaker 1: my younger sister, we actually get along. We have good relationships.

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Speaker 1: They are a few years younger. So the deal with

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Speaker 1: my older sister is that we're only eleven months apart.

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Speaker 1: We were born in the same calendar year. She in

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Speaker 1: January and I had December, so we were basically raised

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Speaker 1: together and the dynamic hasn't changed from when we were kids.

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Speaker 1: She is a professional judger. She judges, that's what she does.

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Speaker 1: And so my you know, my entire childhood growing up

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Speaker 1: with her was her judging everything I did, everything I said,

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Speaker 1: everything that meant something to me, my friends, my girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: and so she carried that over into our adult lives.

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Speaker 1: She just you know, never stopped being that person, and

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Speaker 1: so now the memories that I have of my childhood

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Speaker 1: are kind of veiled with a shroud of her judgment,

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Speaker 1: of like in her voice. So you know, it's had

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Speaker 1: that kind of a of a profound impact on me,

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Speaker 1: to the point where now that I'm I'm writing a

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Speaker 1: manuscript about my younger years, what do I do with that?

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Speaker 1: You know? Am I brutally honest about the way this

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Speaker 1: affected me? Or do I be the kinder person and

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Speaker 1: temper what I write without the brutal honesty. And I

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Speaker 1: was profoundly moved by Life will be the Death of Me, Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: So and that's kind of inspired me. I've been a

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Speaker 1: professional writer for so many years. This is the first

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Speaker 1: time I'm actually writing something about me, and it's because

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Speaker 1: of your book. Oh wow, well thank you. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: you're you're describing the dynamic between you and your sister,

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Speaker 1: and you're describing her behavior. Can I ask you about

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Speaker 1: your own behavior in relation to your sister, Like, how

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Speaker 1: did you what's your part in that? I'm the younger one,

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Speaker 1: I'm eleven months younger, So when we were kids, you know,

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Speaker 1: she got to experience everything before I did, and so

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Speaker 1: I tried to, I guess, you know, have that to

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Speaker 1: look up to, but it never really worked out. And

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Speaker 1: then by the time we were teenagers, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: in our younger twenties, I want to say, I was

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Speaker 1: maybe twenty or twenty one when our when our father

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Speaker 1: died so young, the dynamics changed even more so where

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Speaker 1: I was taking care of the house and trying to

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Speaker 1: put myself through college, and I was immediately thrust into adulthood,

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Speaker 1: but there was I don't think she had the same

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Speaker 1: kind of inclination to do that. So that kind of

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Speaker 1: set the pace for us in terms of what we

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Speaker 1: were going to be like as adults. And I always

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Speaker 1: wanted an older sister. I have a younger sister, a

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Speaker 1: younger brother. I wanted a healthy family dynamic. My wife's

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Speaker 1: family is a good example of that. It just it's

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Speaker 1: an apple and an orange, though it was just never

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Speaker 1: the same. Yeah, yeah, but you have to really think

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Speaker 1: about why she acted that way. You know, people who

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Speaker 1: are judging are unhappy, and it's about looking outward rather

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Speaker 1: than looking inward, right, And you have to try to

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Speaker 1: remember that she's obviously coming from a very different place

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Speaker 1: and have as much empathy for her as possible. So

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Speaker 1: it's it's a conflict because I hear what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: I would always want everyone to pursue their dreams. Like

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Speaker 1: you writing a novel for the first time, or not

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Speaker 1: a novel. You're writing your own story, right, and an

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Speaker 1: autobiographical story, so you're writing that. But if you're writing

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Speaker 1: under a pen name or an alias, like you know,

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Speaker 1: you're going to change all that. You have to change

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Speaker 1: all the real stuff anyway. Legally, when you're writing a

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Speaker 1: book like that, you have to make people unrecognizable and unidentifiable.

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Speaker 1: So you know, you have to make your sister somebody

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Speaker 1: with a different name and different occupations. She lives in

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Speaker 1: a different city, so there are ways to shroud that.

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Speaker 1: But if she do, you know that she's going to

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Speaker 1: be reading your stuff, because it sounds like she's pretty disengaged.

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Speaker 1: She's very disengaged. I have no idea. I look at

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Speaker 1: it this way, you know, with the decent relationships I

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Speaker 1: have with my other siblings, and if this does actually

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Speaker 1: come to light, you know that, you know, whether it's

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Speaker 1: just a personal manuscript or something that actually gets published.

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Speaker 1: I find it hard to believe that it won't be

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Speaker 1: revealed to her. Right, No, No, you know what. I

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Speaker 1: was just reminded by something my friend said to me once,

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Speaker 1: which is like, just assume everything you do is going

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Speaker 1: to be heard by the people that you're talking about,

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Speaker 1: and that's true, Like it will get back to her.

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Speaker 1: Of course, again, you could write a manuscript and it

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Speaker 1: could be published, or you could write a manuscript and

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Speaker 1: it couldn't be published. So it's a lot of ifs,

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Speaker 1: ants and butts, right, I mean, hopefully we're we're going

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Speaker 1: to work under the assumption that it will be published

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Speaker 1: and it will be a huge success. Excellent, Okay, So

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Speaker 1: worried about hurting her feelings? Brandon, what do you think

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Speaker 1: about that? While I think I think that you have

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Speaker 1: to write as authentically as possible, I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: going to do yourself any favors by minimizing your experience

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Speaker 1: because obviously it's still unsettling for you today and this

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Speaker 1: has been ongoing for a very long time. I think

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Speaker 1: you're both in a state of arrested development and your interactions,

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Speaker 1: and I think that probably comes from her not getting

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Speaker 1: the limelight that she thought she was due as the firstborn,

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Speaker 1: but tailed very closely by a brother, and my siblings

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Speaker 1: and I are all thirteen months apart, so I kind

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Speaker 1: of understand that dynamic where everyone was fighting to some

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Speaker 1: degree for the attention they thought they were owed. And

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Speaker 1: it seems like she took that into adulthood and upon

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Speaker 1: the death of your father, she knew the pillar she

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Speaker 1: was supposed to take as the l this child, but

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Speaker 1: forced you into that position basically because she's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing this, like I didn't get my moment. I'm

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Speaker 1: not responsible for this. You deal with it, and she will,

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Speaker 1: without doubt read the manuscript whatever it turns into. She

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Speaker 1: will because she's narcissistic to some degree that again, she

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Speaker 1: didn't get that moment, Like now you're writing about her,

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Speaker 1: so that's really gonna like tickle her fancy in a way,

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Speaker 1: even if you know it's not flattering. But again, I

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Speaker 1: think that's why you have to write it authentically, and

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Speaker 1: there are appropriate and respectful ways to go about that

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Speaker 1: with her. You can send her a version of it

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Speaker 1: before it's released, before you do anything with and say

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Speaker 1: these this is my reference to our childhood. These are

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Speaker 1: my memories. I understand they may not align perfectly with

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Speaker 1: your experiences, but I do want you to have this.

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Speaker 1: I want you to be aware. If you'd like to

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Speaker 1: discuss anything before it goes out, I'm happy to do so.

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Speaker 1: Like there are ways to that's a nice way of

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Speaker 1: going about it. Yeah, they're I think they're just respectful.

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Speaker 1: Is that you have to operate in your best interest

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Speaker 1: as well, and in the best way. How you would

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Speaker 1: want someone to do that for you? And I don't

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Speaker 1: think you do those things to spite someone else. Like,

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Speaker 1: obviously you care for your sister. You know that's it's biological.

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Speaker 1: You can't not care for your siblings. But I also

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Speaker 1: don't think you have to prioritize how she's going to

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Speaker 1: feel to tell your story. Yeah, so, like I agree

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Speaker 1: with that. I want this to be authentic. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be honest. These are you know, even though the

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Speaker 1: names have been changed, or real stories. These are my

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Speaker 1: real stories. And so you know, if I go in

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Speaker 1: there and and I write dishonestly by omission, then you

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Speaker 1: know it's not my story anymore. That's true, And you

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Speaker 1: do have every right to tell your story. And I

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Speaker 1: mean listen, just by the very fact that you're contemplating

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Speaker 1: it means that you're conscientious about it, which is a

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Speaker 1: good sign, which means you're not an narcissist or an asshole.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you might be an asshole and a narcissist,

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Speaker 1: but you know, these questions aren't down that line. So

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Speaker 1: again it's like you're writing under a pseudonym like I

395
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Speaker 1: think that allows a lot of room for people to

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Speaker 1: get over of themselves. But again, I think Brandon's advice

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Speaker 1: is spot on for this. I think providing her with

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Speaker 1: the materials beforehand so she doesn't have one more thing

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Speaker 1: to say she was blindsided, you know, so she doesn't

400
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Speaker 1: have any more ammunition against it. Be sensitive to the

401
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Speaker 1: fact that it is your sister that she is struggling.

402
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Speaker 1: You probably stole her thunder in a big way that

403
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Speaker 1: you have no idea about the mere presence of you

404
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Speaker 1: being born probably disrupted her entire flow right her, She

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Speaker 1: is off. So I would say that, yeah, that that's

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Speaker 1: all you can do because you can't prevent You can't

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Speaker 1: let somebody else's feelings prevent you from telling your truth. Well,

408
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Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I ever didn't believe that.

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Speaker 1: I think I just needed, you know, to hear somebody

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Speaker 1: say it. Yeah, Well great, I mean, problem solved sounds

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Speaker 1: like good luck with your manuscript. Well, thank you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad I didn't have to exit that zoom the

413
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Speaker 1: interworking of sibling relationships, because you know, I've written so

414
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Speaker 1: many books where I've exposed my siblings behavior are stunt,

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Speaker 1: stand up and talked about my family in ways that

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Speaker 1: has hurt them, and I've gotten in trouble and I've

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Speaker 1: hurt my sister's feelings a lot, or my brothers, and

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Speaker 1: you know, some of them are so insensitive that they

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Speaker 1: don't care and they're just like whatever. But I was

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Speaker 1: very insensitive not to run it past them because I

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Speaker 1: just think you're part of my family, like you gotta

422
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Speaker 1: you gotta suck it up, Like this is my story.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to tell it. You know. Of course I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell a joke about it and stand up.

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Speaker 1: But I learned that that's not the right way to

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Speaker 1: go about it. So I think presenting the people with

427
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: the material is really the most upright thing to do.

428
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: Do you think that that reframes your stand up material

429
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 1: as well, So not just in in the books, but

430
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: when you're going to make a reference to somebody, I

431
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: know you've really been thoughtful about how to tell a

432
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 1: joke without making someone feel bad or bringing someone down.

433
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 1: Do you think that that affects how you present your comedy.

434
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,640
Speaker 1: Did you think it affects your comedy being any less

435
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 1: funny in a way? Well, I mean there's always an

436
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 1: asshole to make fun of it, right, There's no shortage

437
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: of assholes luckily. But yeah, I mean it's a good

438
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: it's a good challenge to not be able to make

439
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 1: cheap jokes. That's a good challenge for anybody. Which is

440
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 1: a challenge I welcome. I like to be challenged. It

441
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: makes people work harder. I like to be given a

442
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: little structure because I'm so a structure list and so

443
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: chaotic that I like when somebody says, Okay, this is

444
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,239
Speaker 1: the world you're going to live in. Now build a

445
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 1: house Like, okay, great, I like this. I like this challenge.

446
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 1: So but yeah, I have jokes that I've written that

447
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 1: are about you know, I'm like, this is a bit

448
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: that works. Is am I going to be able to

449
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: tell this on a special like it's about a member

450
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 1: of my family or it's you know, like it's gonna

451
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: always get back to that. There's never any way around

452
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 1: that for me. So, and what is your kind of

453
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: spectrum now or I don't know how we would look

454
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: at this, but when you are writing a joke and

455
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: you think it's funny, but it might be on the

456
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: threshold of like crossing a line, whether it be about

457
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: a family member or just something socially or you know, well,

458
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: like I want to tell I want to do this

459
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: bit about, you know, just white male privilege and how

460
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: even young people, you know, the guys that think their

461
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 1: woke and progressive, are aren't, you know, And and how

462
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,719
Speaker 1: my nephew is woke and a liberal and very progressive,

463
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 1: but he's still is just basking in white male privilege,

464
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: basking in it, basking and it man splaining ship to

465
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,399
Speaker 1: me left and right, all of us, and it's like,

466
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 1: oh my god. You know, like I remember when they

467
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 1: stayed with me during the quarantine. I'd walk downstairs and

468
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: he's just splayed out on my couch, you know, in

469
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: shorts with his legs open, and I'm like, meanwhile, the girls,

470
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: of which there were four of us, we're all we

471
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 1: have our air pods in because we're sharing a house together.

472
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: Nobody's sitting on the sofa spread Eagal and I want

473
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: to talk about that, you know, I want to talk

474
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: about how it's so inured into men's nature to take

475
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 1: up more space and to have less regard for others.

476
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: But I know my sister is gonna get pissed at

477
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 1: me and she'll be like, can you not do that bit?

478
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: Or maybe my nephew needs to hear me do that bit?

479
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 1: Maybe you should maybe should do the bit for him

480
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 1: and get his response. This is a great way to

481
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: test and see if my sister Simone is listening to

482
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: the podcast, because she's not, she'll be in touch. She

483
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: can write in Actually, yeah, Simone, if you're listening, if

484
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: you have any questions, you can write it. No. I mean,

485
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 1: these are all things which obviously said to him to

486
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 1: my nephew. But it's a thing now. It's like once

487
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: you have the term to identify it, it's everywhere. Like

488
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: once you realize, oh, white male privilege is a thing,

489
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: it's like all you see is that, and so it

490
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: becomes kind of like again, that is a little bit

491
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 1: more thoughtful, even implied in comedy than some of these

492
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: easier targets. Like there was a radio show host. I

493
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: don't know if you saw this, but a radio show

494
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: host I guess of a very popular show who walked

495
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 1: off quit his show because he could not make fun

496
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: of Demilovado changing their pronouns today them was his name

497
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: Piers Morgan, because that sounds like fucking what peers I

498
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: love walking off the show. Only a white man would

499
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: walk off a show. Do you think a person of

500
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 1: color would storm out of a show? Do you think

501
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: a woman would get up and storm out of a show?

502
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: Only a fucking white man? Yeah, because they know that

503
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: there's going to be another opportunity person's straight white man,

504
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 1: where that's not the case with a person of color

505
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: or a woman, because they don't know if that opportunity

506
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: is going to come back. But I just thought that

507
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: was interesting because it was so obvious. It's so easy

508
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: to make fun of some of these changes that we're seeing,

509
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 1: because for a lot of us it's jarring. I mean

510
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 1: even for me as a gay person, it's a little overwhelming.

511
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: I actually this is a good opportunity to talk about

512
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 1: because I was talking to my friend last night and

513
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: we were talking about, you know, non binary and changing

514
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: the pronouns, and so there's a pronoun where you can

515
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: be she or her and then you can choose to

516
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: be she and they. So what's the distinction there? Can

517
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,479
Speaker 1: you break that down? Okay? So one of my friends

518
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: in his instagram by because now on Instagram you can

519
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: program your pronouns, and his is he they and His

520
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: rationale for that was, he identifies as a man, but

521
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 1: any person can also be identified plurally. We already do

522
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 1: it to some degree. They ran for a drink whatever.

523
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,959
Speaker 1: So he thought that it was more inclusive to also

524
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: be able to be applied plurally than just as a singular.

525
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a representation of how there's a

526
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: sexual identity evolved in that. It's just he they, So

527
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: she and her and then she and they is just

528
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: that's just it. They want to just it's more inclusive.

529
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 1: I think, So then why don't we just do that

530
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: for everything? I'm sure that's not the case for everyone.

531
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: This is going to be a learning process. Everyone has

532
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 1: a learning curve with this. Right now. My partner works

533
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: in LGBT media. There are daily changes in the representation

534
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: and the pronouns. There are things that are basically just

535
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: sounds like zees er. Those are pronouns. You don't see

536
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: them used, but that's a thing what is z Those

537
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 1: are two pronouns, so there's there's just a plethora. I

538
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 1: think that's like all encompassing that there's and again, all

539
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 1: we can do is learn and accept it and just

540
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: get it right. Well, let's see if we get this

541
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: next advice right. This is from Sonny thirty four, Seattle.

542
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: It's an alias, I'm sure, but we'll talk to Sonny.

543
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 1: Why do you say that because it's in quotes. Yeah, well, yeah,

544
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: then I would say it is an alias. She's a

545
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,959
Speaker 1: store manager for a luxury brand. She writes, Dear Chelsea,

546
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: I enjoy the company I work for, and I also

547
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: have a really tough boss. I know that if I

548
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: can stick it out, there will be good opportunities on

549
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: the other side. But this lady is killing me. She

550
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: wants a business robot who doesn't have feelings or emotions.

551
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: I've been that bitch before, and that is not who

552
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: I want to be anymore. I'm stressed and exhausted all

553
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: the time from trying to be myself and being bullied

554
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: back into the box of who someone else thinks I

555
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: should be. I've been at this company for seven years

556
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: and I don't want to start over. What the fun

557
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 1: do I do. Hi Sonny, Hello, Hi, Hi Brandon, Hi.

558
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: How are you. I'm doing well. How are you all doing?

559
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: We're doing well too, Thank you. So tell us about

560
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: this woman that you work for. What's her story, what's

561
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: the problem, what's the dynamic. Yeah, the dynamic is interesting.

562
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: I have worked with this woman for about three years

563
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: and only reported directly to her for the last six

564
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: months or so. And she's definitely a little bit on

565
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: the older side. She's been in the industry for a

566
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: really long time. She's very well respected in the company,

567
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: but she has a lot of those just older tendencies, right.

568
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: She gets really uncomfortable when people are emotional. She gets

569
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable anytime people start talking about money or personal problems.

570
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: So it's, you know, she's not really with the times

571
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: when it comes to what people are currently kind of

572
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: going through in the world. And even and I think of,

573
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: you know, being a woman in the workplace and wanting

574
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: to talk about some of those problems, talking about, you know,

575
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: how do you make more money, how do you make

576
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: network connections. She's really just cuts you off and puts

577
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,239
Speaker 1: you at a distance, and it's really uncomfortable with all

578
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: of that. She loves a woman who is very business oriented,

579
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: you know, like put on your blazer, put on your

580
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: red lipstick, and let's get to work. And I just

581
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: can't do that anymore. I've been that person. It's really unfulfilling,

582
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. Well, first, I mean,

583
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: you say you love working there. This woman seems like

584
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: she's not with the times. But I would argue that

585
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: you cannot let one person control your disposition or mood.

586
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: Right You're giving her way too much power. She's only

587
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: your boss right now. You're only reporting to her right now.

588
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: So like, there are workarounds that you can do to

589
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: tolerate this woman and kind of get what you need

590
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: and give her what she expects. And you have to

591
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: look at this situation as temporary and all of the

592
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 1: other pos of things around it. Like you've been there

593
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: for seven years, you love the work, you just don't

594
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: like her personality. That's no reason to leave a job. Yeah,

595
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: for sure, I know that you're right. I also I

596
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: don't know, like how long I can continue to be

597
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: under the emotional duress, you know, without having more an outlet.

598
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: I guess, So, how do you feel the emotional dress?

599
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: I mean I'm a I lead other people, so leading

600
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: other employees to being a manager, you're kind of like

601
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: at that critical friction point of you know, I need

602
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: you guys to take care of the customers. I need

603
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: you to do these things, and I also am here

604
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: to take care of you. Right, I'm their leader. I'm

605
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: their boss. And anytime there's something that we need to

606
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: work through as a team or a problem, and I

607
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: want to work through it with my leader, you can't

608
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: bring that emotion into it. It has to be one

609
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: about the business and when you're working with people, when

610
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: your whole job is to take care of people, to

611
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: not have that same mentality for your self. That's what

612
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 1: I find. Really it's grinding where it's like I'm giving

613
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: a lot for my team and I I would hope

614
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: that I would have someone who is doing the same

615
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: thing for me. And it's hard to just pretend like

616
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: everything is fine all the time. Okay, well, but you

617
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: seem to be going to an empty well for water, right,

618
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: you seem to need emotional support, yet you're going to

619
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: somebody who's not equipped to give it to you. Yeah,

620
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: you're definitely right. So can you get that emotional support elsewhere? Like,

621
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: can you go to a therapist and get an emotional support?

622
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: Are you in a position where you can afford to

623
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: go to therapy? I can afford to go to therapy. Yes,

624
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: that is definitely something that I am actively doing and

625
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: will continue to do. So you're in therapy, yes, I have, Well,

626
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: I see a stress coach. So I'm seeing a coach,

627
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: which is helpful, helpful to have tools and some active resources,

628
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 1: but it doesn't really alleviate the fact that you're being

629
00:31:56,040 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: stifled emotionally at work for sure. Yeah, ups at home, right,

630
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: it helps when I leave work and walk away from it.

631
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts about her, like who's senior to her?

632
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: Like is there a scenario that you would have a

633
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: conversation with someone that's supervising her about this dynamic? Definitely,

634
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: and that has happened. So I did have a skip

635
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: level with him earlier this year, and he said, on

636
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: one hand, I know there's a place for you in

637
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: this company. I know that there's a place for people

638
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 1: who want to come to work and be wholehearted and

639
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: take good care of the employees and take care of customers.

640
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: And you have to understand that she is the way

641
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: that she is, and so it's now like this culture

642
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 1: that this is her behavior. I'm not the only person

643
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: who experiences it, and so I have to deal with it,

644
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: and it's like you have to suck it up, right, Well,

645
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing. I think you're need.

646
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: You're going to need to get that emotional support that

647
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: you're looking for from someone else, and whether that's a

648
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: girlfriend or whether that's like a partner or a relative,

649
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: a sister, brother, or a therapist. I think you do

650
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: have to kind of accept people for who they are

651
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: and stop expecting them to fulfill Even though we're living

652
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: at a different time and times are changing, people are

653
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: not fucking caught up. They do not get the message,

654
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: and people are stuck in their ways. And you can

655
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: have empathy for her and sympathy for her, you don't

656
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: have to act on that. You don't have to show

657
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: up for her in any of those ways. You just

658
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: have to take care of yourself and you cannot look

659
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: for her to do it. So I really would suggest

660
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: that you find that kind of outlet for yourself, because

661
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: you're taking care of yourself in a way that's going

662
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: to make you understand that she is just a pawn.

663
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: In this game of life. And if she's not worth

664
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: you leaving a company over where you enjoy your position,

665
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: she will be gone at some point and hopefully you

666
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: will remain there and you will be in a different position,

667
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: or you'll be in her position. I mean, yeah, that

668
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: would be the dream. Yeah, So I think, imagine leaving

669
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 1: because of her. I mean, what does that say she

670
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: has that much power over you? Well, I also think

671
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: what it would do for like the next person who

672
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: has to report to her or the rest of the

673
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: people on my team. It's like, at least now they

674
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: have me and they can report to me, and I

675
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: care about them and I take the time for them.

676
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: And it's like if they had to report directly to her,

677
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: would just be turned into burning. So I think, yeah,

678
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: very good, Yeah, good to be that person put the

679
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,959
Speaker 1: people on my team. And no, you're totally right, it's

680
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: totally temporary. Yeah, she's not gonna be around forever. And

681
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: you know you're not gonna be at this job forever.

682
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: But as while you like it and while you enjoy it,

683
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: you need to like look at her as a like

684
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: a project in your mind, and you are going to

685
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: handle her the way she handles you, you know what

686
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a special case that needs kid gloves.

687
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 1: And this is the personality I put on when I

688
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: have to report to her because I'm going to play

689
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: her game better than she's going to play it. And

690
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: you know, she's not even playing a game. She's just

691
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: being you know, older and not with the time. So

692
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: I think that, yes, I think that's what you should do.

693
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,240
Speaker 1: You should really just get ahead of this. You're letting

694
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: her control you and you can control the situation. Yeah,

695
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, you're right. Thank you. Any other advice

696
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: for a woman in the working world and carving out

697
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: their own path, that's something that you excel at. Chelsea. Oh,

698
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 1: I thought you were talking to Brandon. I am a

699
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,879
Speaker 1: woman in the working world. Listen, I understand. I've been

700
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: in charge of people who wanted to emotional support for me,

701
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 1: Like I've had people work for me and I didn't

702
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: have the bandwidth. You know. I try to be there

703
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: for as many people as I can, but I can

704
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: also relate to her and having to deal with so

705
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 1: many changes and having so many people come to you

706
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: and and not being equipped to, you know, have people

707
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 1: emotionally lean on you. So I can kind of see that,

708
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: But I would just say to be the example that

709
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: you want to see. You know you want to It's

710
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 1: like being the change you want to see. You can

711
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: only model what you want to portray. And the best

712
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: version of yourself is is not to look at certain

713
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: people like, oh, they don't get it, they don't understand me.

714
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: It's like every personality is handled in a little bit

715
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: of a different way. You have to handle people a

716
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 1: little bit differently, and that's a fun challenge if you

717
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: look at it like that, you know, because then you

718
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: can get to her in different ways, and who knows

719
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,240
Speaker 1: what kind of relationship you can create when you stop

720
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: resisting the fact that she's not on the same page

721
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: as you and look for other commonalities between the two

722
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: of you. Yeah, and model the change. I love that

723
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: you said that. It's like, who knows what's going to

724
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 1: happen if I can do me and be myself and

725
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 1: like work around her instead, right, Like, and you can

726
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 1: do that, You can totally do that. My friend isn't

727
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: a job where she has a bunch of people reporting

728
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 1: to her, and she has one woman that reports to

729
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: her that complained about her, and she was like, oh

730
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: my god, you don't understand how much time and how

731
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: much effort I've spent with this girl, and I've sat

732
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 1: with her and she's failed to complain about me, and

733
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, there's like so much there's like

734
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: this huge chasm between them now because they're just both

735
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: not on the same page at all. So, I mean,

736
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: it's not uncommon. It's happening all over. It's just like,

737
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: aren't you smart enough to figure out a way around that?

738
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 1: I think so? I think you're right. Yeah, all right,

739
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: Well problem solves, Sonny. There you go, good luck, Thank

740
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: you so much, Bye, Sonny, thanks for calling. Appreciate the time.

741
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: By Chelsea by Brandon, Bye bye bye. Oh god, must

742
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: working retail? I do not, Oh god, that would just

743
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,479
Speaker 1: be that must be so catty. Although women are learning

744
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: to be kinder and gentler to each other, people just

745
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: need to learn to be kinder and gentler. Well, women,

746
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 1: women have been pitted against each other, and you know

747
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: they're they're pitted against each other because of of our culture.

748
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: And women need to know like we're all on the

749
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: same team, Like you've got to look out for other

750
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 1: women always, always, always. Yeah, that is something else I

751
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: was thinking about the other day was how these younger

752
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 1: stars show up for each other in a way that

753
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: like Whitney Houston and Mariah Kerry did not. This is

754
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: a very gay reference, but there's like they now see

755
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 1: through all of that bullshit, all of the background noise, like, well,

756
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: there can only be one of you. That's not true. Obviously,

757
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: it's been proven time and time and end. So all

758
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 1: these women like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry realized like,

759
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 1: oh what, we don't need to have the sort of

760
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: dynamic like we can support each other even if we

761
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 1: aren't best friends. But that's that's not the narrative we

762
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: need created for us. How are these girls supporting each

763
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: other more? Now? They just show up, They're doing music

764
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: videos together, you know, there's they're coming out for each

765
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: other's projects, and there was I saw something recently that

766
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 1: it was Maria Kerry had Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande

767
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: on one of her Christmas songs, which was a huge deal,

768
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: Like she's never done this before, She's never had someone

769
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: of Ariana's caliber singing with her, and just for so long,

770
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 1: like you're saying, women were positioned like you are the

771
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: only one. You are the best. You can't allow anyone

772
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 1: else to come in. And you know she had to

773
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: get with the times to and be like, oh, I

774
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: can't operate that way. Like we need to be supporting

775
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: each other, we need to be leveraging one another. So

776
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: that is nice to see that women are stepping out

777
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: and yeah, that's the way it should be what men

778
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 1: want them to do. Okay, So speaking of what men

779
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: would like us to do, let's take a break in

780
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: terms of you know, the memoir writing and offending your

781
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 1: family member. I mean, I'm already doing that again, you know,

782
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: as I mentioned earlier, I'm doing it in stand up.

783
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: I'm talking about living with my nephew. I told him

784
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 1: when I saw him on Nantucket, like, hey, you're in

785
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: my set. He's like okay, So you know, I'm not

786
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: the best person to give advice on that topic, which

787
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: I would like to reiterate, Brandon. Our last mission comes

788
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: from I think Laura. Yeah, good to Laura, she writes

789
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: your Chelsea. When I was born, my mom was a

790
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: nanny for an old, rich family that owned a large

791
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: estate which we lived on every day or most days.

792
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 1: My mom looked after two boys and me until we

793
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: moved away. When I was eleven and didn't keep in touch.

794
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: Fast forward, I'm now forty nine. I started dreaming about

795
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: the youngest boy who I was besotted. What does that

796
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: word besotted means? To have a to be taken by

797
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: somebody like a crush. Okay, I'm gonna incorporate. I was

798
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 1: besotted seven or eight years ago. I started daydreaming about

799
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: meeting him, and then one day his dad died and

800
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: my mom went to his funeral. We went in for

801
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: a quick coug He gave me eye contact in a

802
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: nervous way, and we hardly spoke. I cried all the

803
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: way home. My mom was really concerned, and then I

804
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 1: went into an emotional depression for weeks. I know he's

805
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: married with three children. His wife looks a bit like me,

806
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,959
Speaker 1: so that made me smile. Let me just keep going.

807
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: I emailed him once, but he never spent responded. My

808
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 1: mom died a few weeks ago and my mom called

809
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 1: him and he never replied. But from the other side

810
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: read Laurelan Jackson's book, You'll know but his brother always

811
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 1: keeps in contact. I have the opportunity to go to

812
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: my mom's celebration party in this summer, but I don't

813
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 1: feel like I can put myself through the rejection again.

814
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is I have a really immediate

815
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,439
Speaker 1: response for her. My question is do I forget about

816
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: him and leave him the past, or do I go

817
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: to the party and trying to rekindle some sort of

818
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: relationship even though I feel deep down that he doesn't

819
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 1: want to go there. I've attached an old photo of

820
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: me and him. I'm looking forward to hearing your advice. Hi, Laura,

821
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: you need to move the on. He's married over. It's over.

822
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: He's married right now. For he's married. For as long

823
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: as he's married, there's no chance of a reconciliation, or

824
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: there's no reconciliation because there never was anything to begin with.

825
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: So I want to just say, like, you sound slightly delusional,

826
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 1: and you really are letting a man who isn't seemingly

827
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: interested in you have way too much control over you,

828
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 1: Like you're stronger than that, and you can find somebody

829
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: else and not focus all of your attention on a

830
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: childhood crush, because that's all it was. You had a

831
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: childhood crush. We've all had them, and then we grow

832
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: up and they're over, and yours is over. So you

833
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: have to listen to the fact that this is not

834
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 1: not healthy. Not healthy, honey, sorry to call you honey.

835
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to be patronizing or condescending. I want

836
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be loving, like you're better than this.

837
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: This is not who you are or who you want

838
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 1: to be. This is just something old that you kind

839
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: of need to I think it will be a great

840
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 1: sense of closure. Yes, you need to go to his

841
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: mother's memorial celebration and comport yourself or her celebration and

842
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 1: however you guys are calling it, so yeah, does she

843
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: need to go to that? No, she doesn't. He should

844
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: just be making herself present and putting herself through something. Okay, So, Laura,

845
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: if you can't handle going to his mother's memorial celebration

846
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: and going through that and acting like an adult and

847
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: actually making a new impression, because I think there's a

848
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: vibe that you people understand you've had a crush on him,

849
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 1: and I think he probably understands that you've had a

850
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 1: crush on him, And so I wouldn't set yourself up

851
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: for that unless you're going to put yourself in a

852
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: situation where you can go there with your head held high.

853
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: And act in a dignified way and accept that he's

854
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: married and that you're not in a relationship with him,

855
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: and then pay your respects to his dead mother. Well, honestly, Laura,

856
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: don't go to that. You shouldn't go to that. If

857
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: you want, if you want to send your condolences, send

858
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 1: a nice arrangement or a note like making yourself present.

859
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: It's going to be the stracting and it's just going

860
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: to be like a cry for attention. So don't do it. Yeah, Laura,

861
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: you're better than this. This is a childhood crush and

862
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: those expire for a reason, just like high school ends

863
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: for a fucking reason, So did childhood crushes. And also,

864
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 1: can we please stop trying to hit on someone at

865
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 1: a funeral, a parents funeral especially, well really any funeral.

866
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: I mean, why are people thinking that that's an opportunity

867
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 1: to hook up. I remember when my mom died, I

868
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: walked into my parents bathroom and I was looking through

869
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 1: my mom's medication to see if I wanted any of it.

870
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: I was going to my mom's funeral, and I already

871
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: thought that was kind of gross that I was doing that.

872
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: But when I got there, my brother Roy was already

873
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: in the medicine cabinet doing exactly what I was going

874
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: to do, and I was like, what did you find?

875
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: And he had found like a bunch of stuff, and

876
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: he's like, norko, da da dada this anyway, So I

877
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: then prescribed, obviously after that what my brother was going

878
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: to take in what I was going to take, and

879
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: then told him to get out so that I could

880
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 1: take my Norco and peace for my mother's funeral. But

881
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: I thought that was inappropriate even then, while I was

882
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 1: in the situation, I knew that my behavior was inappropriate,

883
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 1: but you know, it was a funeral. I'm allowed to

884
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,919
Speaker 1: do whatever I want to do, really when my mother dies,

885
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: and this seems much more inappropriate. Hitting on someone at

886
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 1: a funeral is such a bad move if you think

887
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:27,760
Speaker 1: it's okay to do that, because it's not. It's disrespectful

888
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: to the people that have lost someone. Even if it

889
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: wasn't the right time and someone was at a funeral

890
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 1: and somebody kind of mad. Even if I thought, oh,

891
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 1: that he's cute, but not now, if he did that,

892
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,479
Speaker 1: he would no longer be cute. Like what's cute about

893
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 1: a man is a man who knows that that's inappropriate.

894
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 1: I hate having to explain this ship all the time,

895
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: you know, and then I come out like I'm the

896
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,720
Speaker 1: bad guy that I hate. Man, It's like, no, actually,

897
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help you. If you would listen. Problem solved, Laura,

898
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 1: get a new problem actually, and I mean poor thing

899
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: people struggling with child I mean, here's let me see

900
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,320
Speaker 1: this picture she sent. She said love to Burton Bernie.

901
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 1: Anyone who's writing to Burton Bernice, Just so you know,

902
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 1: Burt is with a b E r T, and then

903
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: Bernie is b E r N. I c e this

904
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 1: and you guys are also a boer and three years

905
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 1: old in this picture. Who knows like they're not? This

906
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: is a childhood photo. Okay, I don't know what to

907
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 1: say to her. I think we've said it all. Move on, Laura, Okay,

908
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 1: let's let's let's also move on. Well we are that

909
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: was the last submission for the day. Okay, well then

910
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: let's move on to Margarita's were wrapped up. You've worked

911
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: to you? Oh yeah, that's right. Okay, thanks for listening,

912
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: you guys. We'll be back next week. Good bye. Also,

913
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: I am on tour. My tickets are officially on sale.

914
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: We've added a couple of extra shows. We're going to

915
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: be announcing dates as we go. You can buy tickets

916
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: a ticket Master and tickets are available and I can't

917
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,919
Speaker 1: fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and horny, so make sure

918
00:45:56,320 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 1: that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nous and

919
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: then keep them to yourself. Please. If you want any

920
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: assistance with your partner, your best friend, really anything, you

921
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 1: can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.

922
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.